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Gulliver's Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World

by Jonathan Swift · English · Gutenberg #829 · 601,858 chars · public domain (US)

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Title: Gulliver's Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World

Author: Jonathan Swift


        
Release date: February 1, 1997 [eBook #829]
                Most recently updated: April 6, 2025

Language: English

Other information and formats: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/829

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*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GULLIVER'S TRAVELS INTO SEVERAL REMOTE NATIONS OF THE WORLD ***




GULLIVER’S TRAVELS

into several

REMOTE NATIONS OF THE WORLD


BY JONATHAN SWIFT, D.D.,

dean of st. patrick’s, dublin.

[_First published in_ 1726–7.]

cover 

Contents


 THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.
 A LETTER FROM CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS COUSIN SYMPSON.
 PART I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
 PART II. A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
 PART III. A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, GLUBBDUBDRIB, LUGGNAGG AND JAPAN.
 PART IV. A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS.


THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.

[_As given in the original edition_.]


The author of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient and
intimate friend; there is likewise some relation between us on the
mother’s side. About three years ago, Mr. Gulliver growing weary of the
concourse of curious people coming to him at his house in Redriff, made
a small purchase of land, with a convenient house, near Newark, in
Nottinghamshire, his native country; where he now lives retired, yet in
good esteem among his neighbours.

Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghamshire, where his father
dwelt, yet I have heard him say his family came from Oxfordshire; to
confirm which, I have observed in the churchyard at Banbury in that
county, several tombs and monuments of the Gullivers.

Before he quitted Redriff, he left the custody of the following papers
in my hands, with the liberty to dispose of them as I should think fit.
I have carefully perused them three times. The style is very plain and
simple; and the only fault I find is, that the author, after the manner
of travellers, is a little too circumstantial. There is an air of truth
apparent through the whole; and indeed the author was so distinguished
for his veracity, that it became a sort of proverb among his neighbours
at Redriff, when any one affirmed a thing, to say, it was as true as if
Mr. Gulliver had spoken it.

By the advice of several worthy persons, to whom, with the author’s
permission, I communicated these papers, I now venture to send them
into the world, hoping they may be, at least for some time, a better
entertainment to our young noblemen, than the common scribbles of
politics and party.

This volume would have been at least twice as large, if I had not made
bold to strike out innumerable passages relating to the winds and
tides, as well as to the variations and bearings in the several
voyages, together with the minute descriptions of the management of the
ship in storms, in the style of sailors; likewise the account of
longitudes and latitudes; wherein I have reason to apprehend, that Mr.
Gulliver may be a little dissatisfied. But I was resolved to fit the
work as much as possible to the general capacity of readers. However,
if my own ignorance in sea affairs shall have led me to commit some
mistakes, I alone am answerable for them. And if any traveller hath a
curiosity to see the whole work at large, as it came from the hands of
the author, I will be ready to gratify him.

As for any further particulars relating to the author, the reader will
receive satisfaction from the first pages of the book.


                                                     RICHARD SYMPSON.


A LETTER FROM CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS COUSIN SYMPSON.

Written in the Year 1727.

I hope you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall be called
to it, that by your great and frequent urgency you prevailed on me to
publish a very loose and uncorrect account of my travels, with
directions to hire some young gentleman of either university to put
them in order, and correct the style, as my cousin Dampier did, by my
advice, in his book called “A Voyage round the world.” But I do not
remember I gave you power to consent that any thing should be omitted,
and much less that any thing should be inserted; therefore, as to the
latter, I do here renounce every thing of that kind; particularly a
paragraph about her majesty Queen Anne, of most pious and glorious
memory; although I did reverence and esteem her more than any of human
species. But you, or your interpolator, ought to have considered, that
it was not my inclination, so was it not decent to praise any animal of
our composition before my master _Houyhnhnm_: And besides, the fact was
altogether false; for to my knowledge, being in England during some
part of her majesty’s reign, she did govern by a chief minister; nay
even by two successively, the first whereof was the lord of Godolphin,
and the second the lord of Oxford; so that you have made me say the
thing that was not. Likewise in the account of the academy of
projectors, and several passages of my discourse to my master
_Houyhnhnm_, you have either omitted some material circumstances, or
minced or changed them in such a manner, that I do hardly know my own
work. When I formerly hinted to you something of this in a letter, you
were pleased to answer that you were afraid of giving offence; that
people in power were very watchful over the press, and apt not only to
interpret, but to punish every thing which looked like an _innuendo_
(as I think you call it). But, pray how could that which I spoke so
many years ago, and at about five thousand leagues distance, in another
reign, be applied to any of the _Yahoos_, who now are said to govern
the herd; especially at a time when I little thought, or feared, the
unhappiness of living under them? Have not I the most reason to
complain, when I see these very _Yahoos_ carried by _Houyhnhnms_ in a
vehicle, as if they were brutes, and those the rational creatures? And
indeed to avoid so monstrous and detestable a sight was one principal
motive of my retirement hither.

Thus much I thought proper to tell you in relation to yourself, and to
the trust I reposed in you.

I do, in the next place, complain of my own great want of judgment, in
being prevailed upon by the entreaties and false reasoning of you and
some others, very much against my own opinion, to suffer my travels to
be published. Pray bring to your mind how often I desired you to
consider, when you insisted on the motive of public good, that the
_Yahoos_ were a species of animals utterly incapable of amendment by
precept or example: and so it has proved; for, instead of seeing a full
stop put to all abuses and corruptions, at least in this little island,
as I had reason to expect; behold, after above six months warning, I
cannot learn that my book has produced one single effect according to
my intentions. I desired you would let me know, by a letter, when party
and faction were extinguished; judges learned and upright; pleaders
honest and modest, with some tincture of common sense, and Smithfield
blazing with pyramids of law books; the young nobility’s education
entirely changed; the physicians banished; the female _Yahoos_
abounding in virtue, honour, truth, and good sense; courts and levees
of great ministers thoroughly weeded and swept; wit, merit, and
learning rewarded; all disgracers of the press in prose and verse
condemned to eat nothing but their own cotton, and quench their thirst
with their own ink. These, and a thousand other reformations, I firmly
counted upon by your encouragement; as indeed they were plainly
deducible from the precepts delivered in my book. And it must be owned,
that seven months were a sufficient time to correct every vice and
folly to which _Yahoos_ are subject, if their natures had been capable
of the least disposition to virtue or wisdom. Yet, so far have you been
from answering my expectation in any of your letters; that on the
contrary you are loading our carrier every week with libels, and keys,
and reflections, and memoirs, and second parts; wherein I see myself
accused of reflecting upon great state folk; of degrading human nature
(for so they have still the confidence to style it), and of abusing the
female sex. I find likewise that the writers of those bundles are not
agreed among themselves; for some of them will not allow me to be the
author of my own travels; and others make me author of books to which I
am wholly a stranger.

I find likewise that your printer has been so careless as to confound
the times, and mistake the dates, of my several voyages and returns;
neither assigning the true year, nor the true month, nor day of the
month: and I hear the original manuscript is all destroyed since the
publication of my book; neither have I any copy left: however, I have
sent you some corrections, which you may insert, if ever there should
be a second edition: and yet I cannot stand to them; but shall leave
that matter to my judicious and candid readers to adjust it as they
please.

I hear some of our sea _Yahoos_ find fault with my sea-language, as not
proper in many parts, nor now in use. I cannot help it. In my first
voyages, while I was young, I was instructed by the oldest mariners,
and learned to speak as they did. But I have since found that the sea
_Yahoos_ are apt, like the land ones, to become new-fangled in their
words, which the latter change every year; insomuch, as I remember upon
each return to my own country their old dialect was so altered, that I
could hardly understand the new. And I observe, when any _Yahoo_ comes
from London out of curiosity to visit me at my house, we neither of us
are able to deliver our conceptions in a manner intelligible to the
other.

If the censure of the _Yahoos_ could any way affect me, I should have
great reason to complain, that some of them are so bold as to think my
book of travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain, and have gone so
far as to drop hints, that the _Houyhnhnms_ and _Yahoos_ have no more
existence than the inhabitants of Utopia.

Indeed I must confess, that as to the people of _Lilliput_,
_Brobdingrag_ (for so the word should have been spelt, and not
erroneously _Brobdingnag_), and _Laputa_, I have never yet heard of any
_Yahoo_ so presumptuous as to dispute their being, or the facts I have
related concerning them; because the truth immediately strikes every
reader with conviction. And is there less probability in my account of
the _Houyhnhnms_ or _Yahoos_, when it is manifest as to the latter,
there are so many thousands even in this country, who only differ from
their brother brutes in _Houyhnhnmland_, because they use a sort of
jabber, and do not go naked? I wrote for their amendment, and not their
approbation. The united praise of the whole race would be of less
consequence to me, than the neighing of those two degenerate
_Houyhnhnms_ I keep in my stable; because from these, degenerate as
they are, I still improve in some virtues without any mixture of vice.

Do these miserable animals presume to think, that I am so degenerated
as to defend my veracity? _Yahoo_ as I am, it is well known through all
_Houyhnhnmland_, that, by the instructions and example of my
illustrious master, I was able in the compass of two years (although I
confess with the utmost difficulty) to remove that infernal habit of
lying, shuffling, deceiving, and equivocating, so deeply rooted in the
very souls of all my species; especially the Europeans.

I have other complaints to make upon this vexatious occasion; but I
forbear troubling myself or you any further. I must freely confess,
that since my last return, some corruptions of my _Yahoo_ nature have
revived in me by conversing with a few of your species, and
particularly those of my own family, by an unavoidable necessity; else
I should never have attempted so absurd a project as that of reforming
the _Yahoo_ race in this kingdom; but I have now done with all such
visionary schemes for ever.

_April_ 2, 1727


PART I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


CHAPTER I.

The author gives some account of himself and family. His first
inducements to travel. He is shipwrecked, and swims for his life, gets
safe on shore in the country of Lilliput; is made a prisoner, and
carried up the country.


My father had a small estate in Nottinghamshire; I was the third of
five sons. He sent me to Emanuel College in Cambridge at fourteen years
old, where I resided three years, and applied myself close to my
studies; but the charge of maintaining me, although I had a very scanty
allowance, being too great for a narrow fortune, I was bound apprentice
to Mr. James Bates, an eminent surgeon in London, with whom I continued
four years. My father now and then sending me small sums of money, I
laid them out in learning navigation, and other parts of the
mathematics, useful to those who intend to travel, as I always believed
it would be, some time or other, my fortune to do. When I left Mr.
Bates, I went down to my father: where, by the assistance of him and my
uncle John, and some other relations, I got forty pounds, and a promise
of thirty pounds a year to maintain me at Leyden: there I studied
physic two years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in long
voyages.

Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by my good master,
Mr. Bates, to be surgeon to the Swallow, Captain Abraham Pannel,
commander; with whom I continued three years and a half, making a
voyage or two into the Levant, and some other parts. When I came back I
resolved to settle in London; to which Mr. Bates, my master, encouraged
me, and by him I was recommended to several patients. I took part of a
small house in the Old Jewry; and being advised to alter my condition,
I married Mrs. Mary Burton, second daughter to Mr. Edmund Burton,
hosier, in Newgate-street, with whom I received four hundred pounds for
a portion.

But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I having few
friends, my business began to fail; for my conscience would not suffer
me to imitate the bad practice of too many among my brethren. Having
therefore consulted with my wife, and some of my acquaintance, I
determined to go again to sea. I was surgeon successively in two ships,
and made several voyages, for six years, to the East and West Indies,
by which I got some addition to my fortune. My hours of leisure I spent
in reading the best authors, ancient and modern, being always provided
with a good number of books; and when I was ashore, in observing the
manners and dispositions of the people, as well as learning their
language; wherein I had a great facility, by the strength of my memory.

The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary of
the sea, and intended to stay at home with my wife and family. I
removed from the Old Jewry to Fetter Lane, and from thence to Wapping,
hoping to get business among the sailors; but it would not turn to
account. After three years expectation that things would mend, I
accepted an advantageous offer from Captain William Prichard, master of
the Antelope, who was making a voyage to the South Sea. We set sail
from Bristol, May 4, 1699, and our voyage was at first very prosperous.

It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader with
the particulars of our adventures in those seas; let it suffice to
inform him, that in our passage from thence to the East Indies, we were
driven by a violent storm to the north-west of Van Diemen’s Land. By an
observation, we found ourselves in the latitude of 30 degrees 2 minutes
south. Twelve of our crew were dead by immoderate labour and ill food;
the rest were in a very weak condition. On the 5th of November, which
was the beginning of summer in those parts, the weather being very
hazy, the seamen spied a rock within half a cable’s length of the ship;
but the wind was so strong, that we were driven directly upon it, and
immediately split. Six of the crew, of whom I was one, having let down
the boat into the sea, made a shift to get clear of the ship and the
rock. We rowed, by my computation, about three leagues, till we were
able to work no longer, being already spent with labour while we were
in the ship. We therefore trusted ourselves to the mercy of the waves,
and in about half an hour the boat was overset by a sudden flurry from
the north. What became of my companions in the boat, as well as of
those who escaped on the rock, or were left in the vessel, I cannot
tell; but conclude they were all lost. For my own part, I swam as
fortune directed me, and was pushed forward by wind and tide. I often
let my legs drop, and could feel no bottom; but when I was almost gone,
and able to struggle no longer, I found myself within my depth; and by
this time the storm was much abated. The declivity was so small, that I
walked near a mile before I got to the shore, which I conjectured was
about eight o’clock in the evening. I then advanced forward near half a
mile, but could not discover any sign of houses or inhabitants; at
least I was in so weak a condition, that I did not observe them. I was
extremely tired, and with that, and the heat of the weather, and about
half a pint of brandy that I drank as I left the ship, I found myself
much inclined to sleep. I lay down on the grass, which was very short
and soft, where I slept sounder than ever I remembered to have done in
my life, and, as I reckoned, about nine hours; for when I awaked, it
was just day-light. I attempted to rise, but was not able to stir: for,
as I happened to lie on my back, I found my arms and legs were strongly
fastened on each side to the ground; and my hair, which was long and
thick, tied down in the same manner. I likewise felt several slender
ligatures across my body, from my arm-pits to my thighs. I could only
look upwards; the sun began to grow hot, and the light offended my
eyes. I heard a confused noise about me; but in the posture I lay,
could see nothing except the sky. In a little time I felt something
alive moving on my left leg, which advancing gently forward over my
breast, came almost up to my chin; when, bending my eyes downwards as
much as I could, I perceived it to be a human creature not six inches
high, with a bow and arrow in his hands, and a quiver at his back. In
the mean time, I felt at least forty more of the same kind (as I
conjectured) following the first. I was in the utmost astonishment, and
roared so loud, that they all ran back in a fright; and some of them,
as I was afterwards told, were hurt with the falls they got by leaping
from my sides upon the ground. However, they soon returned, and one of
them, who ventured so far as to get a full sight of my face, lifting up
his hands and eyes by way of admiration, cried out in a shrill but
distinct voice, _Hekinah degul_: the others repeated the same words
several times, but then I knew not what they meant. I lay all this
while, as the reader may believe, in great uneasiness. At length,
struggling to get loose, I had the fortune to break the strings, and
wrench out the pegs that fastened my left arm to the ground; for, by
lifting it up to my face, I discovered the methods they had taken to
bind me, and at the same time with a violent pull, which gave me
excessive pain, I a little loosened the strings that tied down my hair
on the left side, so that I was just able to turn my head about two
inches. But the creatures ran off a second time, before I could seize
them; whereupon there was a great shout in a very shrill accent, and
after it ceased I heard one of them cry aloud _Tolgo phonac_; when in
an instant I felt above a hundred arrows discharged on my left hand,
which, pricked me like so many needles; and besides, they shot another
flight into the air, as we do bombs in Europe, whereof many, I suppose,
fell on my body, (though I felt them not), and some on my face, which I
immediately covered with my left hand. When this shower of arrows was
over, I fell a groaning with grief and pain; and then striving again to
get loose, they discharged another volley larger than the first, and
some of them attempted with spears to stick me in the sides; but by
good luck I had on a buff jerkin, which they could not pierce. I
thought it the most prudent method to lie still, and my design was to
continue so till night, when, my left hand being already loose, I could
easily free myself: and as for the inhabitants, I had reason to believe
I might be a match for the greatest army they could bring against me,
if they were all of the same size with him that I saw. But fortune
disposed otherwise of me. When the people observed I was quiet, they
discharged no more arrows; but, by the noise I heard, I knew their
numbers increased; and about four yards from me, over against my right
ear, I heard a knocking for above an hour, like that of people at work;
when turning my head that way, as well as the pegs and strings would
permit me, I saw a stage erected about a foot and a half from the
ground, capable of holding four of the inhabitants, with two or three
ladders to mount it: from whence one of them, who seemed to be a person
of quality, made me a long speech, whereof I understood not one
syllable. But I should have mentioned, that before the principal person
began his oration, he cried out three times, _Langro dehul san_ (these
words and the former were afterwards repeated and explained to me);
whereupon, immediately, about fifty of the inhabitants came and cut the
strings that fastened the left side of my head, which gave me the
liberty of turning it to the right, and of observing the person and
gesture of him that was to speak. He appeared to be of a middle age,
and taller than any of the other three who attended him, whereof one
was a page that held up his train, and seemed to be somewhat longer
than my middle finger; the other two stood one on each side to support
him. He acted every part of an orator, and I could observe many periods
of threatenings, and others of promises, pity, and kindness. I answered
in a few words, but in the most submissive manner, lifting up my left
hand, and both my eyes to the sun, as calling him for a witness; and
being almost famished with hunger, having not eaten a morsel for some
hours before I left the ship, I found the demands of nature so strong
upon me, that I could not forbear showing my impatience (perhaps
against the strict rules of decency) by putting my finger frequently to
my mouth, to signify that I wanted food. The _hurgo_ (for so they call
a great lord, as I afterwards learnt) understood me very well. He
descended from the stage, and commanded that several ladders should be
applied to my sides, on which above a hundred of the inhabitants
mounted and walked towards my mouth, laden with baskets full of meat,
which had been provided and sent thither by the king’s orders, upon the
first intelligence he received of me. I observed there was the flesh of
several animals, but could not distinguish them by the taste. There
were shoulders, legs, and loins, shaped like those of mutton, and very
well dressed, but smaller than the wings of a lark. I ate them by two
or three at a mouthful, and took three loaves at a time, about the
bigness of musket bullets. They supplied me as fast as they could,
showing a thousand marks of wonder and astonishment at my bulk and
appetite. I then made another sign, that I wanted drink. They found by
my eating that a small quantity would not suffice me; and being a most
ingenious people, they slung up, with great dexterity, one of their
largest hogsheads, then rolled it towards my hand, and beat out the
top; I drank it off at a draught, which I might well do, for it did not
hold half a pint, and tasted like a small wine of Burgundy, but much
more delicious. They brought me a second hogshead, which I drank in the
same manner, and made signs for more; but they had none to give me.
When I had performed these wonders, they shouted for joy, and danced
upon my breast, repeating several times as they did at first, _Hekinah
degul_. They made me a sign that I should throw down the two hogsheads,
but first warning the people below to stand out of the way, crying
aloud, _Borach mevolah_; and when they saw the vessels in the air,
there was a universal shout of _Hekinah degul_. I confess I was often
tempted, while they were passing backwards and forwards on my body, to
seize forty or fifty of the first that came in my reach, and dash them
against the ground. But the remembrance of what I had felt, which
probably might not be the worst they could do, and the promise of
honour I made them—for so I interpreted my submissive behaviour—soon
drove out these imaginations. Besides, I now considered myself as bound
by the laws of hospitality, to a people who had treated me with so much
expense and magnificence. However, in my thoughts I could not
sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of these diminutive mortals, who
durst venture to mount and walk upon my body, while one of my hands was
at liberty, without trembling at the very sight of so prodigious a
creature as I must appear to them. After some time, when they observed
that I made no more demands for meat, there appeared before me a person
of high rank from his imperial majesty. His excellency, having mounted
on the small of my right leg, advanced forwards up to my face, with
about a dozen of his retinue; and producing his credentials under the
signet royal, which he applied close to my eyes, spoke about ten
minutes without any signs of anger, but with a kind of determinate
resolution, often pointing forwards, which, as I afterwards found, was
towards the capital city, about half a mile distant; whither it was
agreed by his majesty in council that I must be conveyed. I answered in
few words, but to no purpose, and made a sign with my hand that was
loose, putting it to the other (but over his excellency’s head for fear
of hurting him or his train) and then to my own head and body, to
signify that I desired my liberty. It appeared that he understood me
well enough, for he shook his head by way of disapprobation, and held
his hand in a posture to show that I must be carried as a prisoner.
However, he made other signs to let me understand that I should have
meat and drink enough, and very good treatment. Whereupon I once more
thought of attempting to break my bonds; but again, when I felt the
smart of their arrows upon my face and hands, which were all in
blisters, and many of the darts still sticking in them, and observing
likewise that the number of my enemies increased, I gave tokens to let
them know that they might do with me what they pleased. Upon this, the
_hurgo_ and his train withdrew, with much civility and cheerful
countenances. Soon after I heard a general shout, with frequent
repetitions of the words _Peplom selan_; and I felt great numbers of
people on my left side relaxing the cords to such a degree, that I was
able to turn upon my right, and to ease myself with making water; which
I very plentifully did, to the great astonishment of the people; who,
conjecturing by my motion what I was going to do, immediately opened to
the right and left on that side, to avoid the torrent, which fell with
such noise and violence from me. But before this, they had daubed my
face and both my hands with a sort of ointment, very pleasant to the
smell, which, in a few minutes, removed all the smart of their arrows.
These circumstances, added to the refreshment I had received by their
victuals and drink, which were very nourishing, disposed me to sleep. I
slept about eight hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it was no
wonder, for the physicians, by the emperor’s order, had mingled a
sleepy potion in the hogsheads of wine.

It seems, that upon the first moment I was discovered sleeping on the
ground, after my landing, the emperor had early notice of it by an
express; and determined in council, that I should be tied in the manner
I have related, (which was done in the night while I slept;) that
plenty of meat and drink should be sent to me, and a machine prepared
to carry me to the capital city.

This resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous, and I am
confident would not be imitated by any prince in Europe on the like
occasion. However, in my opinion, it was extremely prudent, as well as
generous: for, supposing these people had endeavoured to kill me with
their spears and arrows, while I was asleep, I should certainly have
awaked with the first sense of smart, which might so far have roused my
rage and strength, as to have enabled me to break the strings wherewith
I was tied; after which, as they were not able to make resistance, so
they could expect no mercy.

These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a great
perfection in mechanics, by the countenance and encouragement of the
emperor, who is a renowned patron of learning. This prince has several
machines fixed on wheels, for the carriage of trees and other great
weights. He often builds his largest men of war, whereof some are nine
feet long, in the woods where the timber grows, and has them carried on
these engines three or four hundred yards to the sea. Five hundred
carpenters and engineers were immediately set at work to prepare the
greatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood raised three inches
from the ground, about seven feet long, and four wide, moving upon
twenty-two wheels. The shout I heard was upon the arrival of this
engine, which, it seems, set out in four hours after my landing. It was
brought parallel to me, as I lay. But the principal difficulty was to
raise and place me in this vehicle. Eighty poles, each of one foot
high, were erected for this purpose, and very strong cords, of the
bigness of packthread, were fastened by hooks to many bandages, which
the workmen had girt round my neck, my hands, my body, and my legs.
Nine hundred of the strongest men were employed to draw up these cords,
by many pulleys fastened on the poles; and thus, in less than three
hours, I was raised and slung into the engine, and there tied fast. All
this I was told; for, while the operation was performing, I lay in a
profound sleep, by the force of that soporiferous medicine infused into
my liquor. Fifteen hundred of the emperor’s largest horses, each about
four inches and a half high, were employed to draw me towards the
metropolis, which, as I said, was half a mile distant.

About four hours after we began our journey, I awaked by a very
ridiculous accident; for the carriage being stopped a while, to adjust
something that was out of order, two or three of the young natives had
the curiosity to see how I looked when I was asleep; they climbed up
into the engine, and advancing very softly to my face, one of them, an
officer in the guards, put the sharp end of his half-pike a good way up
into my left nostril, which tickled my nose like a straw, and made me
sneeze violently; whereupon they stole off unperceived, and it was
three weeks before I knew the cause of my waking so suddenly. We made a
long march the remaining part of the day, and, rested at night with
five hundred guards on each side of me, half with torches, and half
with bows and arrows, ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The
next morning at sunrise we continued our march, and arrived within two
hundred yards of the city gates about noon. The emperor, and all his
court, came out to meet us; but his great officers would by no means
suffer his majesty to endanger his person by mounting on my body.

At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an ancient temple,
esteemed to be the largest in the whole kingdom; which, having been
polluted some years before by an unnatural murder, was, according to
the zeal of those people, looked upon as profane, and therefore had
been applied to common use, and all the ornaments and furniture carried
away. In this edifice it was determined I should lodge. The great gate
fronting to the north was about four feet high, and almost two feet
wide, through which I could easily creep. On each side of the gate was
a small window, not above six inches from the ground: into that on the
left side, the king’s smith conveyed fourscore and eleven chains, like
those that hang to a lady’s watch in Europe, and almost as large, which
were locked to my left leg with six-and-thirty padlocks. Over against
this temple, on the other side of the great highway, at twenty feet
distance, there was a turret at least five feet high. Here the emperor
ascended, with many principal lords of his court, to have an
opportunity of viewing me, as I was told, for I could not see them. It
was reckoned that above a hundred thousand inhabitants came out of the
town upon the same errand; and, in spite of my guards, I believe there
could not be fewer than ten thousand at several times, who mounted my
body by the help of ladders. But a proclamation was soon issued, to
forbid it upon pain of death. When the workmen found it was impossible
for me to break loose, they cut all the strings that bound me;
whereupon I rose up, with as melancholy a disposition as ever I had in
my life. But the noise and astonishment of the people, at seeing me
rise and walk, are not to be expressed. The chains that held my left
leg were about two yards long, and gave me not only the liberty of
walking backwards and forwards in a semicircle, but, being fixed within
four inches of the gate, allowed me to creep in, and lie at my full
length in the temple.


CHAPTER II.

The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes to
see the author in his confinement. The emperor’s person and habit
described. Learned men appointed to teach the author their language. He
gains favour by his mild disposition. His pockets are searched, and his
sword and pistols taken from him.


When I found myself on my feet, I looked about me, and must confess I
never beheld a more entertaining prospect. The country around appeared
like a continued garden, and the enclosed fields, which were generally
forty feet square, resembled so many beds of flowers. These fields were
intermingled with woods of half a stang, [301] and the tallest trees,
as I could judge, appeared to be seven feet high. I viewed the town on
my left hand, which looked like the painted scene of a city in a
theatre.

I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of
nature; which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had last
disburdened myself. I was under great difficulties between urgency and
shame. The best expedient I could think of, was to creep into my house,
which I accordingly did; and shutting the gate after me, I went as far
as the length of my chain would suffer, and discharged my body of that
uneasy load. But this was the only time I was ever guilty of so
uncleanly an action; for which I cannot but hope the candid reader will
give some allowance, after he has maturely and impartially considered
my case, and the distress I was in. From this time my constant practice
was, as soon as I rose, to perform that business in open air, at the
full extent of my chain; and due care was taken every morning before
company came, that the offensive matter should be carried off in
wheel-barrows, by two servants appointed for that purpose. I would not
have dwelt so long upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first sight,
may appear not very momentous, if I had not thought it necessary to
justify my character, in point of cleanliness, to the world; which, I
am told, some of my maligners have been pleased, upon this and other
occasions, to call in question.

When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house, having
occasion for fresh air. The emperor was already descended from the
tower, and advancing on horseback towards me, which had like to have
cost him dear; for the beast, though very well trained, yet wholly
unused to such a sight, which appeared as if a mountain moved before
him, reared up on its hinder feet: but that prince, who is an excellent
horseman, kept his seat, till his attendants ran in, and held the
bridle, while his majesty had time to dismount. When he alighted, he
surveyed me round with great admiration; but kept beyond the length of
my chain. He ordered his cooks and butlers, who were already prepared,
to give me victuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of
vehicles upon wheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles
and soon emptied them all; twenty of them were filled with meat, and
ten with liquor; each of the former afforded me two or three good
mouthfuls; and I emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was contained
in earthen vials, into one vehicle, drinking it off at a draught; and
so I did with the rest. The empress, and young princes of the blood of
both sexes, attended by many ladies, sat at some distance in their
chairs; but upon the accident that happened to the emperor’s horse,
they alighted, and came near his person, which I am now going to
describe. He is taller by almost the breadth of my nail, than any of
his court; which alone is enough to strike an awe into the beholders.
His features are strong and masculine, with an Austrian lip and arched
nose, his complexion olive, his countenance erect, his body and limbs
well proportioned, all his motions graceful, and his deportment
majestic. He was then past his prime, being twenty-eight years and
three quarters old, of which he had reigned about seven in great
felicity, and generally victorious. For the better convenience of
beholding him, I lay on my side, so that my face was parallel to his,
and he stood but three yards off: however, I have had him since many
times in my hand, and therefore cannot be deceived in the description.
His dress was very plain and simple, and the fashion of it between the
Asiatic and the European; but he had on his head a light helmet of
gold, adorned with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He held his sword
drawn in his hand to defend himself, if I should happen to break loose;
it was almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard were gold
enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear and
articulate; and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The ladies
and courtiers were all most magnificently clad; so that the spot they
stood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread upon the ground,
embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His imperial majesty spoke
often to me, and I returned answers: but neither of us could understand
a syllable. There were several of his priests and lawyers present (as I
conjectured by their habits), who were commanded to address themselves
to me; and I spoke to them in as many languages as I had the least
smattering of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish,
Italian, and Lingua Franca, but all to no purpose. After about two
hours the court retired, and I was left with a strong guard, to prevent
the impertinence, and probably the malice of the rabble, who were very
impatient to crowd about me as near as they durst; and some of them had
the impudence to shoot their arrows at me, as I sat on the ground by
the door of my house, whereof one very narrowly missed my left eye. But
the colonel ordered six of the ringleaders to be seized, and thought no
punishment so proper as to deliver them bound into my hands; which some
of his soldiers accordingly did, pushing them forward with the
butt-ends of their pikes into my reach. I took them all in my right
hand, put five of them into my coat-pocket; and as to the sixth, I made
a countenance as if I would eat him alive. The poor man squalled
terribly, and the colonel and his officers were in much pain,
especially when they saw me take out my penknife: but I soon put them
out of fear; for, looking mildly, and immediately cutting the strings
he was bound with, I set him gently on the ground, and away he ran. I
treated the rest in the same manner, taking them one by one out of my
pocket; and I observed both the soldiers and people were highly
delighted at this mark of my clemency, which was represented very much
to my advantage at court.

Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I lay on
the ground, and continued to do so about a fortnight; during which
time, the emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for me. Six
hundred beds of the common measure were brought in carriages, and
worked up in my house; a hundred and fifty of their beds, sewn
together, made up the breadth and length; and these were four double:
which, however, kept me but very indifferently from the hardness of the
floor, that was of smooth stone. By the same computation, they provided
me with sheets, blankets, and coverlets, tolerable enough for one who
had been so long inured to hardships.

As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it brought
prodigious numbers of rich, idle, and curious people to see me; so that
the villages were almost emptied; and great neglect of tillage and
household affairs must have ensued, if his imperial majesty had not
provided, by several proclamations and orders of state, against this
inconveniency. He directed that those who had already beheld me should
return home, and not presume to come within fifty yards of my house,
without license from the court; whereby the secretaries of state got
considerable fees.

In the mean time the emperor held frequent councils, to debate what
course should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured by a
particular friend, a person of great quality, who was as much in the
secret as any, that the court was under many difficulties concerning
me. They apprehended my breaking loose; that my diet would be very
expensive, and might cause a famine. Sometimes they determined to
starve me; or at least to shoot me in the face and hands with poisoned
arrows, which would soon despatch me; but again they considered, that
the stench of so large a carcass might produce a plague in the
metropolis, and probably spread through the whole kingdom. In the midst
of these consultations, several officers of the army went to the door
of the great council-chamber, and two of them being admitted, gave an
account of my behaviour to the six criminals above-mentioned; which
made so favourable an impression in the breast of his majesty and the
whole board, in my behalf, that an imperial commission was issued out,
obliging all the villages, nine hundred yards round the city, to
deliver in every morning six beeves, forty sheep, and other victuals
for my sustenance; together with a proportionable quantity of bread,
and wine, and other liquors; for the due payment of which, his majesty
gave assignments upon his treasury:—for this prince lives chiefly upon
his own demesnes; seldom, except upon great occasions, raising any
subsidies upon his subjects, who are bound to attend him in his wars at
their own expense. An establishment was also made of six hundred
persons to be my domestics, who had board-wages allowed for their
maintenance, and tents built for them very conveniently on each side of
my door. It was likewise ordered, that three hundred tailors should
make me a suit of clothes, after the fashion of the country; that six
of his majesty’s greatest scholars should be employed to instruct me in
their language; and lastly, that the emperor’s horses, and those of the
nobility and troops of guards, should be frequently exercised in my
sight, to accustom themselves to me. All these orders were duly put in
execution; and in about three weeks I made a great progress in learning
their language; during which time the emperor frequently honoured me
with his visits, and was pleased to assist my masters in teaching me.
We began already to converse together in some sort; and the first words
I learnt, were to express my desire “that he would please give me my
liberty;” which I every day repeated on my knees. His answer, as I
could comprehend it, was, “that this must be a work of time, not to be
thought on without the advice of his council, and that first I must
_lumos kelmin pesso desmar lon emposo_;” that is, swear a peace with
him and his kingdom. However, that I should be used with all kindness.
And he advised me to “acquire, by my patience and discreet behaviour,
the good opinion of himself and his subjects.” He desired “I would not
take it ill, if he gave orders to certain proper officers to search me;
for probably I might carry about me several weapons, which must needs
be dangerous things, if they answered the bulk of so prodigious a
person.” I said, “His majesty should be satisfied; for I was ready to
strip myself, and turn up my pockets before him.” This I delivered part
in words, and part in signs. He replied, “that, by the laws of the
kingdom, I must be searched by two of his officers; that he knew this
could not be done without my consent and assistance; and he had so good
an opinion of my generosity and justice, as to trust their persons in
my hands; that whatever they took from me, should be returned when I
left the country, or paid for at the rate which I would set upon them.”
I took up the two officers in my hands, put them first into my
coat-pockets, and then into every other pocket about me, except my two
fobs, and another secret pocket, which I had no mind should be
searched, wherein I had some little necessaries that were of no
consequence to any but myself. In one of my fobs there was a silver
watch, and in the other a small quantity of gold in a purse. These
gentlemen, having pen, ink, and paper, about them, made an exact
inventory of every thing they saw; and when they had done, desired I
would set them down, that they might deliver it to the emperor. This
inventory I afterwards translated into English, and is, word for word,
as follows:


“_Imprimis_: In the right coat-pocket of the great man-mountain” (for
so I interpret the words _quinbus flestrin_,) “after the strictest
search, we found only one great piece of coarse-cloth, large enough to
be a foot-cloth for your majesty’s chief room of state. In the left
pocket we saw a huge silver chest, with a cover of the same metal,
which we, the searchers, were not able to lift. We desired it should be
opened, and one of us stepping into it, found himself up to the mid leg
in a sort of dust, some part whereof flying up to our faces set us both
a sneezing for several times together. In his right waistcoat-pocket we
found a prodigious bundle of white thin substances, folded one over
another, about the bigness of three men, tied with a strong cable, and
marked with black figures; which we humbly conceive to be writings,
every letter almost half as large as the palm of our hands. In the left
there was a sort of engine, from the back of which were extended twenty
long poles, resembling the pallisados before your majesty’s court:
wherewith we conjecture the man-mountain combs his head; for we did not
always trouble him with questions, because we found it a great
difficulty to make him understand us. In the large pocket, on the right
side of his middle cover” (so I translate the word _ranfulo_, by which
they meant my breeches,) “we saw a hollow pillar of iron, about the
length of a man, fastened to a strong piece of timber larger than the
pillar; and upon one side of the pillar, were huge pieces of iron
sticking out, cut into strange figures, which we know not what to make
of. In the left pocket, another engine of the same kind. In the smaller
pocket on the right side, were several round flat pieces of white and
red metal, of different bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be
silver, were so large and heavy, that my comrade and I could hardly
lift them. In the left pocket were two black pillars irregularly
shaped: we could not, without difficulty, reach the top of them, as we
stood at the bottom of his pocket. One of them was covered, and seemed
all of a piece: but at the upper end of the other there appeared a
white round substance, about twice the bigness of our heads. Within
each of these was enclosed a prodigious plate of steel; which, by our
orders, we obliged him to show us, because we apprehended they might be
dangerous engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that
in his own country his practice was to shave his beard with one of
these, and cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we
could not enter: these he called his fobs; they were two large slits
cut into the top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the
pressure of his belly. Out of the right fob hung a great silver chain,
with a wonderful kind of engine at the bottom. We directed him to draw
out whatever was at the end of that chain; which appeared to be a
globe, half silver, and half of some transparent metal; for, on the
transparent side, we saw certain strange figures circularly drawn, and
thought we could touch them, till we found our fingers stopped by the
lucid substance. He put this engine into our ears, which made an
incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we conjecture it is
either some unknown animal, or the god that he worships; but we are
more inclined to the latter opinion, because he assured us, (if we
understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly) that
he seldom did any thing without consulting it. He called it his oracle,
and said, it pointed out the time for every action of his life. From
the left fob he took out a net almost large enough for a fisherman, but
contrived to open and shut like a purse, and served him for the same
use: we found therein several massy pieces of yellow metal, which, if
they be real gold, must be of immense value.

“Having thus, in obedience to your majesty’s commands, diligently
searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle about his waist made of
the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on the left side, hung
a sword of the length of five men; and on the right, a bag or pouch
divided into two cells, each cell capable of holding three of your
majesty’s subjects. In one of these cells were several globes, or
balls, of a most ponderous metal, about the bigness of our heads, and
requiring a strong hand to lift them: the other cell contained a heap
of certain black grains, but of no great bulk or weight, for we could
hold above fifty of them in the palms of our hands.

“This is an exact inventory of what we found about the body of the
man-mountain, who used us with great civility, and due respect to your
majesty’s commission. Signed and sealed on the fourth day of the
eighty-ninth moon of your majesty’s auspicious reign.


                                     Clefrin Frelock, Marsi Frelock.”

When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he directed me,
although in very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars.
He first called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all. In
the mean time he ordered three thousand of his choicest troops (who
then attended him) to surround me at a distance, with their bows and
arrows just ready to discharge; but I did not observe it, for my eyes
were wholly fixed upon his majesty. He then desired me to draw my
scimitar, which, although it had got some rust by the sea water, was,
in most parts, exceeding bright. I did so, and immediately all the
troops gave a shout between terror and surprise; for the sun shone
clear, and the reflection dazzled their eyes, as I waved the scimitar
to and fro in my hand. His majesty, who is a most magnanimous prince,
was less daunted than I could expect: he ordered me to return it into
the scabbard, and cast it on the ground as gently as I could, about six
feet from the end of my chain. The next thing he demanded was one of
the hollow iron pillars; by which he meant my pocket pistols. I drew it
out, and at his desire, as well as I could, expressed to him the use of
it; and charging it only with powder, which, by the closeness of my
pouch, happened to escape wetting in the sea (an inconvenience against
which all prudent mariners take special care to provide,) I first
cautioned the emperor not to be afraid, and then I let it off in the
air. The astonishment here was much greater than at the sight of my
scimitar. Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck dead; and even
the emperor, although he stood his ground, could not recover himself
for some time. I delivered up both my pistols in the same manner as I
had done my scimitar, and then my pouch of powder and bullets; begging
him that the former might be kept from fire, for it would kindle with
the smallest spark, and blow up his imperial palace into the air. I
likewise delivered up my watch, which the emperor was very curious to
see, and commanded two of his tallest yeomen of the guards to bear it
on a pole upon their shoulders, as draymen in England do a barrel of
ale. He was amazed at the continual noise it made, and the motion of
the minute-hand, which he could easily discern; for their sight is much
more acute than ours: he asked the opinions of his learned men about
it, which were various and remote, as the reader may well imagine
without my repeating; although indeed I could not very perfectly
understand them. I then gave up my silver and copper money, my purse,
with nine large pieces of gold, and some smaller ones; my knife and
razor, my comb and silver snuff-box, my handkerchief and journal-book.
My scimitar, pistols, and pouch, were conveyed in carriages to his
majesty’s stores; but the rest of my goods were returned me.

I had as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped their
search, wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I sometimes use
for the weakness of my eyes,) a pocket perspective, and some other
little conveniences; which, being of no consequence to the emperor, I
did not think myself bound in honour to discover, and I apprehended
they might be lost or spoiled if I ventured them out of my possession.


CHAPTER III.

The author diverts the emperor, and his nobility of both sexes, in a
very uncommon manner. The diversions of the court of Lilliput
described. The author has his liberty granted him upon certain
conditions.


My gentleness and good behaviour had gained so far on the emperor and
his court, and indeed upon the army and people in general, that I began
to conceive hopes of getting my liberty in a short time. I took all
possible methods to cultivate this favourable disposition. The natives
came, by degrees, to be less apprehensive of any danger from me. I
would sometimes lie down, and let five or six of them dance on my hand;
and at last the boys and girls would venture to come and play at
hide-and-seek in my hair. I had now made a good progress in
understanding and speaking the language. The emperor had a mind one day
to entertain me with several of the country shows, wherein they exceed
all nations I have known, both for dexterity and magnificence. I was
diverted with none so much as that of the rope-dancers, performed upon
a slender white thread, extended about two feet, and twelve inches from
the ground. Upon which I shall desire liberty, with the reader’s
patience, to enlarge a little.

This diversion is only practised by those persons who are candidates
for great employments, and high favour at court. They are trained in
this art from their youth, and are not always of noble birth, or
liberal education. When a great office is vacant, either by death or
disgrace (which often happens) five or six of those candidates
petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and the court with a
dance on the rope; and whoever jumps the highest, without falling,
succeeds in the office. Very often the chief ministers themselves are
commanded to show their skill, and to convince the emperor that they
have not lost their faculty. Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut
a caper on the straight rope, at least an inch higher than any other
lord in the whole empire. I have seen him do the summerset several
times together, upon a trencher fixed on a rope which is no thicker
than a common packthread in England. My friend Reldresal, principal
secretary for private affairs, is, in my opinion, if I am not partial,
the second after the treasurer; the rest of the great officers are much
upon a par.

These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof great
numbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three candidates break
a limb. But the danger is much greater, when the ministers themselves
are commanded to show their dexterity; for, by contending to excel
themselves and their fellows, they strain so far that there is hardly
one of them who has not received a fall, and some of them two or three.
I was assured that, a year or two before my arrival, Flimnap would
infallibly have broke his neck, if one of the king’s cushions, that
accidentally lay on the ground, had not weakened the force of his fall.

There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before the
emperor and empress, and first minister, upon particular occasions. The
emperor lays on the table three fine silken threads of six inches long;
one is blue, the other red, and the third green. These threads are
proposed as prizes for those persons whom the emperor has a mind to
distinguish by a peculiar mark of his favour. The ceremony is performed
in his majesty’s great chamber of state, where the candidates are to
undergo a trial of dexterity very different from the former, and such
as I have not observed the least resemblance of in any other country of
the new or old world. The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends
parallel to the horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one,
sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it, backward and
forward, several times, according as the stick is advanced or
depressed. Sometimes the emperor holds one end of the stick, and his
first minister the other; sometimes the minister has it entirely to
himself. Whoever performs his part with most agility, and holds out the
longest in leaping and creeping, is rewarded with the blue-coloured
silk; the red is given to the next, and the green to the third, which
they all wear girt twice round about the middle; and you see few great
persons about this court who are not adorned with one of these girdles.

The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been
daily led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very
feet without starting. The riders would leap them over my hand, as I
held it on the ground; and one of the emperor’s huntsmen, upon a large
courser, took my foot, shoe and all; which was indeed a prodigious
leap. I had the good fortune to divert the emperor one day after a very
extraordinary manner. I desired he would order several sticks of two
feet high, and the thickness of an ordinary cane, to be brought me;
whereupon his majesty commanded the master of his woods to give
directions accordingly; and the next morning six woodmen arrived with
as many carriages, drawn by eight horses to each. I took nine of these
sticks, and fixing them firmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure,
two feet and a half square, I took four other sticks, and tied them
parallel at each corner, about two feet from the ground; then I
fastened my handkerchief to the nine sticks that stood erect; and
extended it on all sides, till it was tight as the top of a drum; and
the four parallel sticks, rising about five inches higher than the
handkerchief, served as ledges on each side. When I had finished my
work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of his best horses
twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this plain. His majesty
approved of the proposal, and I took them up, one by one, in my hands,
ready mounted and armed, with the proper officers to exercise them. As
soon as they got into order they divided into two parties, performed
mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows, drew their swords, fled and
pursued, attacked and retired, and in short discovered the best
military discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them and
their horses from falling over the stage; and the emperor was so much
delighted, that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated several
days, and once was pleased to be lifted up and give the word of
command; and with great difficulty persuaded even the empress herself
to let me hold her in her close chair within two yards of the stage,
when she was able to take a full view of the whole performance. It was
my good fortune, that no ill accident happened in these entertainments;
only once a fiery horse, that belonged to one of the captains, pawing
with his hoof, struck a hole in my handkerchief, and his foot slipping,
he overthrew his rider and himself; but I immediately relieved them
both, and covering the hole with one hand, I set down the troop with
the other, in the same manner as I took them up. The horse that fell
was strained in the left shoulder, but the rider got no hurt; and I
repaired my handkerchief as well as I could: however, I would not trust
to the strength of it any more, in such dangerous enterprises.

About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was
entertaining the court with this kind of feat, there arrived an express
to inform his majesty, that some of his subjects, riding near the place
where I was first taken up, had seen a great black substance lying on
the ground, very oddly shaped, extending its edges round, as wide as
his majesty’s bedchamber, and rising up in the middle as high as a man;
that it was no living creature, as they at first apprehended, for it
lay on the grass without motion; and some of them had walked round it
several times; that, by mounting upon each other’s shoulders, they had
got to the top, which was flat and even, and, stamping upon it, they
found that it was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might be
something belonging to the man-mountain; and if his majesty pleased,
they would undertake to bring it with only five horses. I presently
knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive this
intelligence. It seems, upon my first reaching the shore after our
shipwreck, I was in such confusion, that before I came to the place
where I went to sleep, my hat, which I had fastened with a string to my
head while I was rowing, and had stuck on all the time I was swimming,
fell off after I came to land; the string, as I conjecture, breaking by
some accident, which I never observed, but thought my hat had been lost
at sea. I entreated his imperial majesty to give orders it might be
brought to me as soon as possible, describing to him the use and the
nature of it: and the next day the waggoners arrived with it, but not
in a very good condition; they had bored two holes in the brim, within
an inch and half of the edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes;
these hooks were tied by a long cord to the harness, and thus my hat
was dragged along for above half an English mile; but, the ground in
that country being extremely smooth and level, it received less damage
than I expected.

Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that part of
his army which quarters in and about his metropolis, to be in
readiness, took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular manner.
He desired I would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as far asunder
as I conveniently could. He then commanded his general (who was an old
experienced leader, and a great patron of mine) to draw up the troops
in close order, and march them under me; the foot by twenty-four
abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with drums beating, colours flying,
and pikes advanced. This body consisted of three thousand foot, and a
thousand horse. His majesty gave orders, upon pain of death, that every
soldier in his march should observe the strictest decency with regard
to my person; which however could not prevent some of the younger
officers from turning up their eyes as they passed under me: and, to
confess the truth, my breeches were at that time in so ill a condition,
that they afforded some opportunities for laughter and admiration.

I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that his
majesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and then
in a full council; where it was opposed by none, except Skyresh
Bolgolam, who was pleased, without any provocation, to be my mortal
enemy. But it was carried against him by the whole board, and confirmed
by the emperor. That minister was _galbet_, or admiral of the realm,
very much in his master’s confidence, and a person well versed in
affairs, but of a morose and sour complexion. However, he was at length
persuaded to comply; but prevailed that the articles and conditions
upon which I should be set free, and to which I must swear, should be
drawn up by himself. These articles were brought to me by Skyresh
Bolgolam in person attended by two under-secretaries, and several
persons of distinction. After they were read, I was demanded to swear
to the performance of them; first in the manner of my own country, and
afterwards in the method prescribed by their laws; which was, to hold
my right foot in my left hand, and to place the middle finger of my
right hand on the crown of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my right
ear. But because the reader may be curious to have some idea of the
style and manner of expression peculiar to that people, as well as to
know the article upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a
translation of the whole instrument, word for word, as near as I was
able, which I here offer to the public.


“Golbasto Momarem Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, most mighty
Emperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the universe, whose
dominions extend five thousand _blustrugs_ (about twelve miles in
circumference) to the extremities of the globe; monarch of all
monarchs, taller than the sons of men; whose feet press down to the
centre, and whose head strikes against the sun; at whose nod the
princes of the earth shake their knees; pleasant as the spring,
comfortable as the summer, fruitful as autumn, dreadful as winter: his
most sublime majesty proposes to the man-mountain, lately arrived at
our celestial dominions, the following articles, which, by a solemn
oath, he shall be obliged to perform:—

“1st, The man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions, without our
license under our great seal.

“2d, He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without our
express order; at which time, the inhabitants shall have two hours
warning to keep within doors.

“3d, The said man-mountain shall confine his walks to our principal
high roads, and not offer to walk, or lie down, in a meadow or field of
corn.

“4th, As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost care not to
trample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their horses, or
carriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands without their
own consent.

“5th, If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the man-mountain
shall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the messenger and horse a six
days journey, once in every moon, and return the said messenger back
(if so required) safe to our imperial presence.

“6th, He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of
Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now
preparing to invade us.

“7th, That the said man-mountain shall, at his times of leisure, be
aiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain great
stones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and other our
royal buildings.

“8th, That the said man-mountain shall, in two moons’ time, deliver in
an exact survey of the circumference of our dominions, by a computation
of his own paces round the coast.

“Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the above articles,
the said man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of meat and drink
sufficient for the support of 1724 of our subjects, with free access to
our royal person, and other marks of our favour. Given at our palace at
Belfaborac, the twelfth day of the ninety-first moon of our reign.”


I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness and
content, although some of them were not so honourable as I could have
wished; which proceeded wholly from the malice of Skyresh Bolgolam, the
high-admiral: whereupon my chains were immediately unlocked, and I was
at full liberty. The emperor himself, in person, did me the honour to
be by at the whole ceremony. I made my acknowledgements by prostrating
myself at his majesty’s feet: but he commanded me to rise; and after
many gracious expressions, which, to avoid the censure of vanity, I
shall not repeat, he added, “that he hoped I should prove a useful
servant, and well deserve all the favours he had already conferred upon
me, or might do for the future.”

The reader may please to observe, that, in the last article of the
recovery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow me a quantity
of meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 Lilliputians. Some
time after, asking a friend at court how they came to fix on that
determinate number, he told me that his majesty’s mathematicians,
having taken the height of my body by the help of a quadrant, and
finding it to exceed theirs in the proportion of twelve to one, they
concluded from the similarity of their bodies, that mine must contain
at least 1724 of theirs, and consequently would require as much food as
was necessary to support that number of Lilliputians. By which the
reader may conceive an idea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as
the prudent and exact economy of so great a prince.


CHAPTER IV.

Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the
emperor’s palace. A conversation between the author and a principal
secretary, concerning the affairs of that empire. The author’s offers
to serve the emperor in his wars.


The first request I made, after I had obtained my liberty, was, that I
might have license to see Mildendo, the metropolis; which the emperor
easily granted me, but with a special charge to do no hurt either to
the inhabitants or their houses. The people had notice, by
proclamation, of my design to visit the town. The wall which
encompassed it is two feet and a half high, and at least eleven inches
broad, so that a coach and horses may be driven very safely round it;
and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet distance. I stepped
over the great western gate, and passed very gently, and sidling,
through the two principal streets, only in my short waistcoat, for fear
of damaging the roofs and eaves of the houses with the skirts of my
coat. I walked with the utmost circumspection, to avoid treading on any
stragglers who might remain in the streets, although the orders were
very strict, that all people should keep in their houses, at their own
peril. The garret windows and tops of houses were so crowded with
spectators, that I thought in all my travels I had not seen a more
populous place. The city is an exact square, each side of the wall
being five hundred feet long. The two great streets, which run across
and divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide. The lanes and
alleys, which I could not enter, but only view them as I passed, are
from twelve to eighteen inches. The town is capable of holding five
hundred thousand souls: the houses are from three to five stories: the
shops and markets well provided.

The emperor’s palace is in the centre of the city where the two great
streets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of two feet high, and twenty
feet distance from the buildings. I had his majesty’s permission to
step over this wall; and, the space being so wide between that and the
palace, I could easily view it on every side. The outward court is a
square of forty feet, and includes two other courts: in the inmost are
the royal apartments, which I was very desirous to see, but found it
extremely difficult; for the great gates, from one square into another,
were but eighteen inches high, and seven inches wide. Now the buildings
of the outer court were at least five feet high, and it was impossible
for me to stride over them without infinite damage to the pile, though
the walls were strongly built of hewn stone, and four inches thick. At
the same time the emperor had a great desire that I should see the
magnificence of his palace; but this I was not able to do till three
days after, which I spent in cutting down with my knife some of the
largest trees in the royal park, about a hundred yards distant from the
city. Of these trees I made two stools, each about three feet high, and
strong enough to bear my weight. The people having received notice a
second time, I went again through the city to the palace with my two
stools in my hands. When I came to the side of the outer court, I stood
upon one stool, and took the other in my hand; this I lifted over the
roof, and gently set it down on the space between the first and second
court, which was eight feet wide. I then stept over the building very
conveniently from one stool to the other, and drew up the first after
me with a hooked stick. By this contrivance I got into the inmost
court; and, lying down upon my side, I applied my face to the windows
of the middle stories, which were left open on purpose, and discovered
the most splendid apartments that can be imagined. There I saw the
empress and the young princes, in their several lodgings, with their
chief attendants about them. Her imperial majesty was pleased to smile
very graciously upon me, and gave me out of the window her hand to
kiss.

But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of this
kind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now almost
ready for the press; containing a general description of this empire,
from its first erection, through a long series of princes; with a
particular account of their wars and politics, laws, learning, and
religion; their plants and animals; their peculiar manners and customs,
with other matters very curious and useful; my chief design at present
being only to relate such events and transactions as happened to the
public or to myself during a residence of about nine months in that
empire.

One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty,
Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) for private affairs,
came to my house attended only by one servant. He ordered his coach to
wait at a distance, and desired I would give him an hour’s audience;
which I readily consented to, on account of his quality and personal
merits, as well as of the many good offices he had done me during my
solicitations at court. I offered to lie down that he might the more
conveniently reach my ear, but he chose rather to let me hold him in my
hand during our conversation. He began with compliments on my liberty;
said “he might pretend to some merit in it;” but, however, added, “that
if it had not been for the present situation of things at court,
perhaps I might not have obtained it so soon. For,” said he, “as
flourishing a condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we
labour under two mighty evils: a violent faction at home, and the
danger of an invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad. As to the
first, you are to understand, that for about seventy moons past there
have been two struggling parties in this empire, under the names of
_Tramecksan_ and _Slamecksan_, from the high and low heels of their
shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is alleged, indeed,
that the high heels are most agreeable to our ancient constitution;
but, however this be, his majesty has determined to make use only of
low heels in the administration of the government, and all offices in
the gift of the crown, as you cannot but observe; and particularly that
his majesty’s imperial heels are lower at least by a _drurr_ than any
of his court (_drurr_ is a measure about the fourteenth part of an
inch). The animosities between these two parties run so high, that they
will neither eat, nor drink, nor talk with each other. We compute the
_Tramecksan_, or high heels, to exceed us in number; but the power is
wholly on our side. We apprehend his imperial highness, the heir to the
crown, to have some tendency towards the high heels; at least we can
plainly discover that one of his heels is higher than the other, which
gives him a hobble in his gait. Now, in the midst of these intestine
disquiets, we are threatened with an invasion from the island of
Blefuscu, which is the other great empire of the universe, almost as
large and powerful as this of his majesty. For as to what we have heard
you affirm, that there are other kingdoms and states in the world
inhabited by human creatures as large as yourself, our philosophers are
in much doubt, and would rather conjecture that you dropped from the
moon, or one of the stars; because it is certain, that a hundred
mortals of your bulk would in a short time destroy all the fruits and
cattle of his majesty’s dominions: besides, our histories of six
thousand moons make no mention of any other regions than the two great
empires of Lilliput and Blefuscu. Which two mighty powers have, as I
was going to tell you, been engaged in a most obstinate war for
six-and-thirty moons past. It began upon the following occasion. It is
allowed on all hands, that the primitive way of breaking eggs, before
we eat them, was upon the larger end; but his present majesty’s
grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking it
according to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his fingers.
Whereupon the emperor his father published an edict, commanding all his
subjects, upon great penalties, to break the smaller end of their eggs.
The people so highly resented this law, that our histories tell us,
there have been six rebellions raised on that account; wherein one
emperor lost his life, and another his crown. These civil commotions
were constantly fomented by the monarchs of Blefuscu; and when they
were quelled, the exiles always fled for refuge to that empire. It is
computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered
death, rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end. Many
hundred large volumes have been published upon this controversy: but
the books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden, and the whole
party rendered incapable by law of holding employments. During the
course of these troubles, the emperors of Blefuscu did frequently
expostulate by their ambassadors, accusing us of making a schism in
religion, by offending against a fundamental doctrine of our great
prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of the Blundecral (which
is their Alcoran). This, however, is thought to be a mere strain upon
the text; for the words are these: ‘that all true believers break their
eggs at the convenient end.’ And which is the convenient end, seems, in
my humble opinion to be left to every man’s conscience, or at least in
the power of the chief magistrate to determine. Now, the Big-endian
exiles have found so much credit in the emperor of Blefuscu’s court,
and so much private assistance and encouragement from their party here
at home, that a bloody war has been carried on between the two empires
for six-and-thirty moons, with various success; during which time we
have lost forty capital ships, and a much greater number of smaller
vessels, together with thirty thousand of our best seamen and soldiers;
and the damage received by the enemy is reckoned to be somewhat greater
than ours. However, they have now equipped a numerous fleet, and are
just preparing to make a descent upon us; and his imperial majesty,
placing great confidence in your valour and strength, has commanded me
to lay this account of his affairs before you.”

I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor; and
to let him know, “that I thought it would not become me, who was a
foreigner, to interfere with parties; but I was ready, with the hazard
of my life, to defend his person and state against all invaders.”


CHAPTER V.

The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion. A high
title of honour is conferred upon him. Ambassadors arrive from the
emperor of Blefuscu, and sue for peace. The empress’s apartment on fire
by an accident; the author instrumental in saving the rest of the
palace.


The empire of Blefuscu is an island situated to the north-east of
Lilliput, from which it is parted only by a channel of eight hundred
yards wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this notice of an intended
invasion, I avoided appearing on that side of the coast, for fear of
being discovered, by some of the enemy’s ships, who had received no
intelligence of me; all intercourse between the two empires having been
strictly forbidden during the war, upon pain of death, and an embargo
laid by our emperor upon all vessels whatsoever. I communicated to his
majesty a project I had formed of seizing the enemy’s whole fleet;
which, as our scouts assured us, lay at anchor in the harbour, ready to
sail with the first fair wind. I consulted the most experienced seamen
upon the depth of the channel, which they had often plumbed; who told
me, that in the middle, at high-water, it was seventy _glumgluffs_
deep, which is about six feet of European measure; and the rest of it
fifty _glumgluffs_ at most. I walked towards the north-east coast, over
against Blefuscu, where, lying down behind a hillock, I took out my
small perspective glass, and viewed the enemy’s fleet at anchor,
consisting of about fifty men of war, and a great number of transports:
I then came back to my house, and gave orders (for which I had a
warrant) for a great quantity of the strongest cable and bars of iron.
The cable was about as thick as packthread and the bars of the length
and size of a knitting-needle. I trebled the cable to make it stronger,
and for the same reason I twisted three of the iron bars together,
bending the extremities into a hook. Having thus fixed fifty hooks to
as many cables, I went back to the north-east coast, and putting off my
coat, shoes, and stockings, walked into the sea, in my leathern jerkin,
about half an hour before high water. I waded with what haste I could,
and swam in the middle about thirty yards, till I felt ground. I
arrived at the fleet in less than half an hour. The enemy was so
frightened when they saw me, that they leaped out of their ships, and
swam to shore, where there could not be fewer than thirty thousand
souls. I then took my tackling, and, fastening a hook to the hole at
the prow of each, I tied all the cords together at the end. While I was
thus employed, the enemy discharged several thousand arrows, many of
which stuck in my hands and face, and, beside the excessive smart, gave
me much disturbance in my work. My greatest apprehension was for my
eyes, which I should have infallibly lost, if I had not suddenly
thought of an expedient. I kept, among other little necessaries, a pair
of spectacles in a private pocket, which, as I observed before, had
escaped the emperor’s searchers. These I took out and fastened as
strongly as I could upon my nose, and thus armed, went on boldly with
my work, in spite of the enemy’s arrows, many of which struck against
the glasses of my spectacles, but without any other effect, further
than a little to discompose them. I had now fastened all the hooks,
and, taking the knot in my hand, began to pull; but not a ship would
stir, for they were all too fast held by their anchors, so that the
boldest part of my enterprise remained. I therefore let go the cord,
and leaving the hooks fixed to the ships, I resolutely cut with my
knife the cables that fastened the anchors, receiving about two hundred
shots in my face and hands; then I took up the knotted end of the
cables, to which my hooks were tied, and with great ease drew fifty of
the enemy’s largest men of war after me.

The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I
intended, were at first confounded with astonishment. They had seen me
cut the cables, and thought my design was only to let the ships run
adrift or fall foul on each other: but when they perceived the whole
fleet moving in order, and saw me pulling at the end, they set up such
a scream of grief and despair as it is almost impossible to describe or
conceive. When I had got out of danger, I stopped awhile to pick out
the arrows that stuck in my hands and face; and rubbed on some of the
same ointment that was given me at my first arrival, as I have formerly
mentioned. I then took off my spectacles, and waiting about an hour,
till the tide was a little fallen, I waded through the middle with my
cargo, and arrived safe at the royal port of Lilliput.

The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore, expecting the issue
of this great adventure. They saw the ships move forward in a large
half-moon, but could not discern me, who was up to my breast in water.
When I advanced to the middle of the channel, they were yet more in
pain, because I was under water to my neck. The emperor concluded me to
be drowned, and that the enemy’s fleet was approaching in a hostile
manner: but he was soon eased of his fears; for the channel growing
shallower every step I made, I came in a short time within hearing, and
holding up the end of the cable, by which the fleet was fastened, I
cried in a loud voice, “Long live the most puissant king of Lilliput!”
This great prince received me at my landing with all possible
encomiums, and created me a _nardac_ upon the spot, which is the
highest title of honour among them.

His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of bringing all
the rest of his enemy’s ships into his ports. And so unmeasureable is
the ambition of princes, that he seemed to think of nothing less than
reducing the whole empire of Blefuscu into a province, and governing
it, by a viceroy; of destroying the Big-endian exiles, and compelling
that people to break the smaller end of their eggs, by which he would
remain the sole monarch of the whole world. But I endeavoured to divert
him from this design, by many arguments drawn from the topics of policy
as well as justice; and I plainly protested, “that I would never be an
instrument of bringing a free and brave people into slavery.” And, when
the matter was debated in council, the wisest part of the ministry were
of my opinion.

This open bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the schemes and
politics of his imperial majesty, that he could never forgive me. He
mentioned it in a very artful manner at council, where I was told that
some of the wisest appeared, at least by their silence, to be of my
opinion; but others, who were my secret enemies, could not forbear some
expressions which, by a side-wind, reflected on me. And from this time
began an intrigue between his majesty and a junto of ministers,
maliciously bent against me, which broke out in less than two months,
and had like to have ended in my utter destruction. Of so little weight
are the greatest services to princes, when put into the balance with a
refusal to gratify their passions.

About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solemn embassy
from Blefuscu, with humble offers of a peace, which was soon concluded,
upon conditions very advantageous to our emperor, wherewith I shall not
trouble the reader. There were six ambassadors, with a train of about
five hundred persons, and their entry was very magnificent, suitable to
the grandeur of their master, and the importance of their business.
When their treaty was finished, wherein I did them several good offices
by the credit I now had, or at least appeared to have, at court, their
excellencies, who were privately told how much I had been their friend,
made me a visit in form. They began with many compliments upon my
valour and generosity, invited me to that kingdom in the emperor their
master’s name, and desired me to show them some proofs of my prodigious
strength, of which they had heard so many wonders; wherein I readily
obliged them, but shall not trouble the reader with the particulars.

When I had for some time entertained their excellencies, to their
infinite satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would do me the
honour to present my most humble respects to the emperor their master,
the renown of whose virtues had so justly filled the whole world with
admiration, and whose royal person I resolved to attend, before I
returned to my own country. Accordingly, the next time I had the honour
to see our emperor, I desired his general license to wait on the
Blefuscudian monarch, which he was pleased to grant me, as I could
perceive, in a very cold manner; but could not guess the reason, till I
had a whisper from a certain person, “that Flimnap and Bolgolam had
represented my intercourse with those ambassadors as a mark of
disaffection;” from which I am sure my heart was wholly free. And this
was the first time I began to conceive some imperfect idea of courts
and ministers.

It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me, by an
interpreter, the languages of both empires differing as much from each
other as any two in Europe, and each nation priding itself upon the
antiquity, beauty, and energy of their own tongue, with an avowed
contempt for that of their neighbour; yet our emperor, standing upon
the advantage he had got by the seizure of their fleet, obliged them to
deliver their credentials, and make their speech, in the Lilliputian
tongue. And it must be confessed, that from the great intercourse of
trade and commerce between both realms, from the continual reception of
exiles which is mutual among them, and from the custom, in each empire,
to send their young nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order
to polish themselves by seeing the world, and understanding men and
manners; there are few persons of distinction, or merchants, or seamen,
who dwell in the maritime parts, but what can hold conversation in both
tongues; as I found some weeks after, when I went to pay my respects to
the emperor of Blefuscu, which, in the midst of great misfortunes,
through the malice of my enemies, proved a very happy adventure to me,
as I shall relate in its proper place.

The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon which I
recovered my liberty, there were some which I disliked, upon account of
their being too servile; neither could anything but an extreme
necessity have forced me to submit. But being now a _nardac_ of the
highest rank in that empire, such offices were looked upon as below my
dignity, and the emperor (to do him justice), never once mentioned them
to me. However, it was not long before I had an opportunity of doing
his majesty, at least as I then thought, a most signal service. I was
alarmed at midnight with the cries of many hundred people at my door;
by which, being suddenly awaked, I was in some kind of terror. I heard
the word _Burglum_ repeated incessantly: several of the emperor’s
court, making their way through the crowd, entreated me to come
immediately to the palace, where her imperial majesty’s apartment was
on fire, by the carelessness of a maid of honour, who fell asleep while
she was reading a romance. I got up in an instant; and orders being
given to clear the way before me, and it being likewise a moonshine
night, I made a shift to get to the palace without trampling on any of
the people. I found they had already applied ladders to the walls of
the apartment, and were well provided with buckets, but the water was
at some distance. These buckets were about the size of large thimbles,
and the poor people supplied me with them as fast as they could: but
the flame was so violent that they did little good. I might easily have
stifled it with my coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for
haste, and came away only in my leathern jerkin. The case seemed wholly
desperate and deplorable; and this magnificent palace would have
infallibly been burnt down to the ground, if, by a presence of mind
unusual to me, I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I had, the
evening before, drunk plentifully of a most delicious wine called
_glimigrim_, (the Blefuscudians call it _flunec_, but ours is esteemed
the better sort,) which is very diuretic. By the luckiest chance in the
world, I had not discharged myself of any part of it. The heat I had
contracted by coming very near the flames, and by labouring to quench
them, made the wine begin to operate by urine; which I voided in such a
quantity, and applied so well to the proper places, that in three
minutes the fire was wholly extinguished, and the rest of that noble
pile, which had cost so many ages in erecting, preserved from
destruction.

It was now day-light, and I returned to my house without waiting to
congratulate with the emperor: because, although I had done a very
eminent piece of service, yet I could not tell how his majesty might
resent the manner by which I had performed it: for, by the fundamental
laws of the realm, it is capital in any person, of what quality soever,
to make water within the precincts of the palace. But I was a little
comforted by a message from his majesty, “that he would give orders to
the grand justiciary for passing my pardon in form:” which, however, I
could not obtain; and I was privately assured, “that the empress,
conceiving the greatest abhorrence of what I had done, removed to the
most distant side of the court, firmly resolved that those buildings
should never be repaired for her use: and, in the presence of her chief
confidents could not forbear vowing revenge.”


CHAPTER VI.

Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs; the
manner of educating their children. The author’s way of living in that
country. His vindication of a great lady.


Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a
particular treatise, yet, in the mean time, I am content to gratify the
curious reader with some general ideas. As the common size of the
natives is somewhat under six inches high, so there is an exact
proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and trees: for
instance, the tallest horses and oxen are between four and five inches
in height, the sheep an inch and half, more or less: their geese about
the bigness of a sparrow, and so the several gradations downwards till
you come to the smallest, which to my sight, were almost invisible; but
nature has adapted the eyes of the Lilliputians to all objects proper
for their view: they see with great exactness, but at no great
distance. And, to show the sharpness of their sight towards objects
that are near, I have been much pleased with observing a cook pulling a
lark, which was not so large as a common fly; and a young girl
threading an invisible needle with invisible silk. Their tallest trees
are about seven feet high: I mean some of those in the great royal
park, the tops whereof I could but just reach with my fist clenched.
The other vegetables are in the same proportion; but this I leave to
the reader’s imagination.

I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for many
ages, has flourished in all its branches among them: but their manner
of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to the right,
like the Europeans, nor from the right to the left, like the Arabians,
nor from up to down, like the Chinese, but aslant, from one corner of
the paper to the other, like ladies in England.

They bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because they
hold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to rise
again; in which period the earth (which they conceive to be flat) will
turn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their resurrection,
be found ready standing on their feet. The learned among them confess
the absurdity of this doctrine; but the practice still continues, in
compliance to the vulgar.

There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar; and if
they were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear country, I
should be tempted to say a little in their justification. It is only to
be wished they were as well executed. The first I shall mention,
relates to informers. All crimes against the state, are punished here
with the utmost severity; but, if the person accused makes his
innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the accuser is immediately
put to an ignominious death; and out of his goods or lands the innocent
person is quadruply recompensed for the loss of his time, for the
danger he underwent, for the hardship of his imprisonment, and for all
the charges he has been at in making his defence; or, if that fund be
deficient, it is largely supplied by the crown. The emperor also
confers on him some public mark of his favour, and proclamation is made
of his innocence through the whole city.

They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore
seldom fail to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and
vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man’s goods
from thieves, but honesty has no defence against superior cunning; and,
since it is necessary that there should be a perpetual intercourse of
buying and selling, and dealing upon credit, where fraud is permitted
and connived at, or has no law to punish it, the honest dealer is
always undone, and the knave gets the advantage. I remember, when I was
once interceding with the emperor for a criminal who had wronged his
master of a great sum of money, which he had received by order and ran
away with; and happening to tell his majesty, by way of extenuation,
that it was only a breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in
me to offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and
truly I had little to say in return, farther than the common answer,
that different nations had different customs; for, I confess, I was
heartily ashamed. [330]

Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon
which all government turns, yet I could never observe this maxim to be
put in practice by any nation except that of Lilliput. Whoever can
there bring sufficient proof, that he has strictly observed the laws of
his country for seventy-three moons, has a claim to certain privileges,
according to his quality or condition of life, with a proportionable
sum of money out of a fund appropriated for that use: he likewise
acquires the title of _snilpall_, or legal, which is added to his name,
but does not descend to his posterity. And these people thought it a
prodigious defect of policy among us, when I told them that our laws
were enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is
upon this account that the image of Justice, in their courts of
judicature, is formed with six eyes, two before, as many behind, and on
each side one, to signify circumspection; with a bag of gold open in
her right hand, and a sword sheathed in her left, to show she is more
disposed to reward than to punish.

In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to good
morals than to great abilities; for, since government is necessary to
mankind, they believe, that the common size of human understanding is
fitted to some station or other; and that Providence never intended to
make the management of public affairs a mystery to be comprehended only
by a few persons of sublime genius, of which there seldom are three
born in an age: but they suppose truth, justice, temperance, and the
like, to be in every man’s power; the practice of which virtues,
assisted by experience and a good intention, would qualify any man for
the service of his country, except where a course of study is required.
But they thought the want of moral virtues was so far from being
supplied by superior endowments of the mind, that employments could
never be put into such dangerous hands as those of persons so
qualified; and, at least, that the mistakes committed by ignorance, in
a virtuous disposition, would never be of such fatal consequence to the
public weal, as the practices of a man, whose inclinations led him to
be corrupt, and who had great abilities to manage, to multiply, and
defend his corruptions.

In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man
incapable of holding any public station; for, since kings avow
themselves to be the deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think
nothing can be more absurd than for a prince to employ such men as
disown the authority under which he acts.

In relating these and the following laws, I would only be understood to
mean the original institutions, and not the most scandalous
corruptions, into which these people are fallen by the degenerate
nature of man. For, as to that infamous practice of acquiring great
employments by dancing on the ropes, or badges of favour and
distinction by leaping over sticks and creeping under them, the reader
is to observe, that they were first introduced by the grandfather of
the emperor now reigning, and grew to the present height by the gradual
increase of party and faction.

Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been
in some other countries: for they reason thus; that whoever makes ill
returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest of
mankind, from whom he has received no obligation, and therefore such a
man is not fit to live.

Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ
extremely from ours. For, since the conjunction of male and female is
founded upon the great law of nature, in order to propagate and
continue the species, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that men and
women are joined together, like other animals, by the motives of
concupiscence; and that their tenderness towards their young proceeds
from the like natural principle: for which reason they will never allow
that a child is under any obligation to his father for begetting him,
or to his mother for bringing him into the world; which, considering
the miseries of human life, was neither a benefit in itself, nor
intended so by his parents, whose thoughts, in their love encounters,
were otherwise employed. Upon these, and the like reasonings, their
opinion is, that parents are the last of all others to be trusted with
the education of their own children; and therefore they have in every
town public nurseries, where all parents, except cottagers and
labourers, are obliged to send their infants of both sexes to be reared
and educated, when they come to the age of twenty moons, at which time
they are supposed to have some rudiments of docility. These schools are
of several kinds, suited to different qualities, and both sexes. They
have certain professors well skilled in preparing children for such a
condition of life as befits the rank of their parents, and their own
capacities, as well as inclinations. I shall first say something of the
male nurseries, and then of the female.

The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth, are provided with
grave and learned professors, and their several deputies. The clothes
and food of the children are plain and simple. They are bred up in the
principles of honour, justice, courage, modesty, clemency, religion,
and love of their country; they are always employed in some business,
except in the times of eating and sleeping, which are very short, and
two hours for diversions consisting of bodily exercises. They are
dressed by men till four years of age, and then are obliged to dress
themselves, although their quality be ever so great; and the women
attendant, who are aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only
the most menial offices. They are never suffered to converse with
servants, but go together in smaller or greater numbers to take their
diversions, and always in the presence of a professor, or one of his
deputies; whereby they avoid those early bad impressions of folly and
vice, to which our children are subject. Their parents are suffered to
see them only twice a year; the visit is to last but an hour; they are
allowed to kiss the child at meeting and parting; but a professor, who
always stands by on those occasions, will not suffer them to whisper,
or use any fondling expressions, or bring any presents of toys,
sweetmeats, and the like.

The pension from each family for the education and entertainment of a
child, upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor’s
officers.

The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders,
and handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same manner; only
those designed for trades are put out apprentices at eleven years old,
whereas those of persons of quality continue in their exercises till
fifteen, which answers to twenty-one with us: but the confinement is
gradually lessened for the last three years.

In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated much
like the males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of their own
sex; but always in the presence of a professor or deputy, till they
come to dress themselves, which is at five years old. And if it be
found that these nurses ever presume to entertain the girls with
frightful or foolish stories, or the common follies practised by
chambermaids among us, they are publicly whipped thrice about the city,
imprisoned for a year, and banished for life to the most desolate part
of the country. Thus the young ladies are as much ashamed of being
cowards and fools as the men, and despise all personal ornaments,
beyond decency and cleanliness: neither did I perceive any difference
in their education made by their difference of sex, only that the
exercises of the females were not altogether so robust; and that some
rules were given them relating to domestic life, and a smaller compass
of learning was enjoined them: for their maxim is, that among peoples
of quality, a wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable
companion, because she cannot always be young. When the girls are
twelve years old, which among them is the marriageable age, their
parents or guardians take them home, with great expressions of
gratitude to the professors, and seldom without tears of the young lady
and her companions.

In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are
instructed in all kinds of works proper for their sex, and their
several degrees: those intended for apprentices are dismissed at seven
years old, the rest are kept to eleven.

The meaner families who have children at these nurseries, are obliged,
besides their annual pension, which is as low as possible, to return to
the steward of the nursery a small monthly share of their gettings, to
be a portion for the child; and therefore all parents are limited in
their expenses by the law. For the Lilliputians think nothing can be
more unjust, than for people, in subservience to their own appetites,
to bring children into the world, and leave the burthen of supporting
them on the public. As to persons of quality, they give security to
appropriate a certain sum for each child, suitable to their condition;
and these funds are always managed with good husbandry and the most
exact justice.

The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their business
being only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their
education is of little consequence to the public: but the old and
diseased among them are supported by hospitals; for begging is a trade
unknown in this empire.

And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some
account of my domestics, and my manner of living in this country,
during a residence of nine months, and thirteen days. Having a head
mechanically turned, and being likewise forced by necessity, I had made
for myself a table and chair convenient enough, out of the largest
trees in the royal park. Two hundred sempstresses were employed to make
me shirts, and linen for my bed and table, all of the strongest and
coarsest kind they could get; which, however, they were forced to quilt
together in several folds, for the thickest was some degrees finer than
lawn. Their linen is usually three inches wide, and three feet make a
piece. The sempstresses took my measure as I lay on the ground, one
standing at my neck, and another at my mid-leg, with a strong cord
extended, that each held by the end, while a third measured the length
of the cord with a rule of an inch long. Then they measured my right
thumb, and desired no more; for by a mathematical computation, that
twice round the thumb is once round the wrist, and so on to the neck
and the waist, and by the help of my old shirt, which I displayed on
the ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me exactly. Three
hundred tailors were employed in the same manner to make me clothes;
but they had another contrivance for taking my measure. I kneeled down,
and they raised a ladder from the ground to my neck; upon this ladder
one of them mounted, and let fall a plumb-line from my collar to the
floor, which just answered the length of my coat: but my waist and arms
I measured myself. When my clothes were finished, which was done in my
house (for the largest of theirs would not have been able to hold
them), they looked like the patch-work made by the ladies in England,
only that mine were all of a colour.

I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient
huts built about my house, where they and their families lived, and
prepared me two dishes a-piece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand,
and placed them on the table: a hundred more attended below on the
ground, some with dishes of meat, and some with barrels of wine and
other liquors slung on their shoulders; all which the waiters above
drew up, as I wanted, in a very ingenious manner, by certain cords, as
we draw the bucket up a well in Europe. A dish of their meat was a good
mouthful, and a barrel of their liquor a reasonable draught. Their
mutton yields to ours, but their beef is excellent. I have had a
sirloin so large, that I have been forced to make three bites of it;
but this is rare. My servants were astonished to see me eat it, bones
and all, as in our country we do the leg of a lark. Their geese and
turkeys I usually ate at a mouthful, and I confess they far exceed
ours. Of their smaller fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the end
of my knife.

One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of living,
desired “that himself and his royal consort, with the young princes of
the blood of both sexes, might have the happiness,” as he was pleased
to call it, “of dining with me.” They came accordingly, and I placed
them in chairs of state, upon my table, just over against me, with
their guards about them. Flimnap, the lord high treasurer, attended
there likewise with his white staff; and I observed he often looked on
me with a sour countenance, which I would not seem to regard, but ate
more than usual, in honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the
court with admiration. I have some private reasons to believe, that
this visit from his majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill
offices to his master. That minister had always been my secret enemy,
though he outwardly caressed me more than was usual to the moroseness
of his nature. He represented to the emperor “the low condition of his
treasury; that he was forced to take up money at a great discount; that
exchequer bills would not circulate under nine per cent. below par;
that I had cost his majesty above a million and a half of _sprugs_”
(their greatest gold coin, about the bigness of a spangle) “and, upon
the whole, that it would be advisable in the emperor to take the first
fair occasion of dismissing me.”

I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady, who
was an innocent sufferer upon my account. The treasurer took a fancy to
be jealous of his wife, from the malice of some evil tongues, who
informed him that her grace had taken a violent affection for my
person; and the court scandal ran for some time, that she once came
privately to my lodging. This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous
falsehood, without any grounds, further than that her grace was pleased
to treat me with all innocent marks of freedom and friendship. I own
she came often to my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three
more in the coach, who were usually her sister and young daughter, and
some particular acquaintance; but this was common to many other ladies
of the court. And I still appeal to my servants round, whether they at
any time saw a coach at my door, without knowing what persons were in
it. On those occasions, when a servant had given me notice, my custom
was to go immediately to the door, and, after paying my respects, to
take up the coach and two horses very carefully in my hands (for, if
there were six horses, the postillion always unharnessed four,) and
place them on a table, where I had fixed a movable rim quite round, of
five inches high, to prevent accidents. And I have often had four
coaches and horses at once on my table, full of company, while I sat in
my chair, leaning my face towards them; and when I was engaged with one
set, the coachmen would gently drive the others round my table. I have
passed many an afternoon very agreeably in these conversations. But I
defy the treasurer, or his two informers (I will name them, and let
them make the best of it) Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person
ever came to me _incognito_, except the secretary Reldresal, who was
sent by express command of his imperial majesty, as I have before
related. I should not have dwelt so long upon this particular, if it
had not been a point wherein the reputation of a great lady is so
nearly concerned, to say nothing of my own; though I then had the
honour to be a _nardac_, which the treasurer himself is not; for all
the world knows, that he is only a _glumglum_, a title inferior by one
degree, as that of a marquis is to a duke in England; yet I allow he
preceded me in right of his post. These false informations, which I
afterwards came to the knowledge of by an accident not proper to
mention, made the treasurer show his lady for some time an ill
countenance, and me a worse; and although he was at last undeceived and
reconciled to her, yet I lost all credit with him, and found my
interest decline very fast with the emperor himself, who was, indeed,
too much governed by that favourite.


CHAPTER VII.

The author, being informed of a design to accuse him of high-treason,
makes his escape to Blefuscu. His reception there.


Before I proceed to give an account of my leaving this kingdom, it may
be proper to inform the reader of a private intrigue which had been for
two months forming against me.

I had been hitherto, all my life, a stranger to courts, for which I was
unqualified by the meanness of my condition. I had indeed heard and
read enough of the dispositions of great princes and ministers, but
never expected to have found such terrible effects of them, in so
remote a country, governed, as I thought, by very different maxims from
those in Europe.

When I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the emperor of
Blefuscu, a considerable person at court (to whom I had been very
serviceable, at a time when he lay under the highest displeasure of his
imperial majesty) came to my house very privately at night, in a close
chair, and, without sending his name, desired admittance. The chairmen
were dismissed; I put the chair, with his lordship in it, into my
coat-pocket: and, giving orders to a trusty servant, to say I was
indisposed and gone to sleep, I fastened the door of my house, placed
the chair on the table, according to my usual custom, and sat down by
it. After the common salutations were over, observing his lordship’s
countenance full of concern, and inquiring into the reason, he desired
“I would hear him with patience, in a matter that highly concerned my
honour and my life.” His speech was to the following effect, for I took
notes of it as soon as he left me:—

“You are to know,” said he, “that several committees of council have
been lately called, in the most private manner, on your account; and it
is but two days since his majesty came to a full resolution.

“You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam” (_galbet_, or
high-admiral) “has been your mortal enemy, almost ever since your
arrival. His original reasons I know not; but his hatred is increased
since your great success against Blefuscu, by which his glory as
admiral is much obscured. This lord, in conjunction with Flimnap the
high-treasurer, whose enmity against you is notorious on account of his
lady, Limtoc the general, Lalcon the chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand
justiciary, have prepared articles of impeachment against you, for
treason and other capital crimes.”

This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own merits and
innocence, that I was going to interrupt him; when he entreated me to
be silent, and thus proceeded:—

“Out of gratitude for the favours you have done me, I procured
information of the whole proceedings, and a copy of the articles;
wherein I venture my head for your service.


“‘_Articles of Impeachment against_ QUINBUS FLESTRIN, (_the
Man-Mountain_.)

Article I.


“‘Whereas, by a statute made in the reign of his imperial majesty Calin
Deffar Plune, it is enacted, that, whoever shall make water within the
precincts of the royal palace, shall be liable to the pains and
penalties of high-treason; notwithstanding, the said Quinbus Flestrin,
in open breach of the said law, under colour of extinguishing the fire
kindled in the apartment of his majesty’s most dear imperial consort,
did maliciously, traitorously, and devilishly, by discharge of his
urine, put out the said fire kindled in the said apartment, lying and
being within the precincts of the said royal palace, against the
statute in that case provided, etc. against the duty, etc.

Article II.


“‘That the said Quinbus Flestrin, having brought the imperial fleet of
Blefuscu into the royal port, and being afterwards commanded by his
imperial majesty to seize all the other ships of the said empire of
Blefuscu, and reduce that empire to a province, to be governed by a
viceroy from hence, and to destroy and put to death, not only all the
Big-endian exiles, but likewise all the people of that empire who would
not immediately forsake the Big-endian heresy, he, the said Flestrin,
like a false traitor against his most auspicious, serene, imperial
majesty, did petition to be excused from the said service, upon
pretence of unwillingness to force the consciences, or destroy the
liberties and lives of an innocent people.

Article III.


“‘That, whereas certain ambassadors arrived from the Court of Blefuscu,
to sue for peace in his majesty’s court, he, the said Flestrin, did,
like a false traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert, the said
ambassadors, although he knew them to be servants to a prince who was
lately an open enemy to his imperial majesty, and in an open war
against his said majesty.

Article IV.


“‘That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a faithful
subject, is now preparing to make a voyage to the court and empire of
Blefuscu, for which he has received only verbal license from his
imperial majesty; and, under colour of the said license, does falsely
and traitorously intend to take the said voyage, and thereby to aid,
comfort, and abet the emperor of Blefuscu, so lately an enemy, and in
open war with his imperial majesty aforesaid.’


“There are some other articles; but these are the most important, of
which I have read you an abstract.

“In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must be confessed
that his majesty gave many marks of his great lenity; often urging the
services you had done him, and endeavouring to extenuate your crimes.
The treasurer and admiral insisted that you should be put to the most
painful and ignominious death, by setting fire to your house at night,
and the general was to attend with twenty thousand men, armed with
poisoned arrows, to shoot you on the face and hands. Some of your
servants were to have private orders to strew a poisonous juice on your
shirts and sheets, which would soon make you tear your own flesh, and
die in the utmost torture. The general came into the same opinion; so
that for a long time there was a majority against you; but his majesty
resolving, if possible, to spare your life, at last brought off the
chamberlain.

“Upon this incident, Reldresal, principal secretary for private
affairs, who always approved himself your true friend, was commanded by
the emperor to deliver his opinion, which he accordingly did; and
therein justified the good thoughts you have of him. He allowed your
crimes to be great, but that still there was room for mercy, the most
commendable virtue in a prince, and for which his majesty was so justly
celebrated. He said, the friendship between you and him was so well
known to the world, that perhaps the most honourable board might think
him partial; however, in obedience to the command he had received, he
would freely offer his sentiments. That if his majesty, in
consideration of your services, and pursuant to his own merciful
disposition, would please to spare your life, and only give orders to
put out both your eyes, he humbly conceived, that by this expedient
justice might in some measure be satisfied, and all the world would
applaud the lenity of the emperor, as well as the fair and generous
proceedings of those who have the honour to be his counsellors. That
the loss of your eyes would be no impediment to your bodily strength,
by which you might still be useful to his majesty; that blindness is an
addition to courage, by concealing dangers from us; that the fear you
had for your eyes, was the greatest difficulty in bringing over the
enemy’s fleet, and it would be sufficient for you to see by the eyes of
the ministers, since the greatest princes do no more.

“This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation by the whole
board. Bolgolam, the admiral, could not preserve his temper, but,
rising up in fury, said, he wondered how the secretary durst presume to
give his opinion for preserving the life of a traitor; that the
services you had performed were, by all true reasons of state, the
great aggravation of your crimes; that you, who were able to extinguish
the fire by discharge of urine in her majesty’s apartment (which he
mentioned with horror), might, at another time, raise an inundation by
the same means, to drown the whole palace; and the same strength which
enabled you to bring over the enemy’s fleet, might serve, upon the
first discontent, to carry it back; that he had good reasons to think
you were a Big-endian in your heart; and, as treason begins in the
heart, before it appears in overt acts, so he accused you as a traitor
on that account, and therefore insisted you should be put to death.

“The treasurer was of the same opinion: he showed to what straits his
majesty’s revenue was reduced, by the charge of maintaining you, which
would soon grow insupportable; that the secretary’s expedient of
putting out your eyes, was so far from being a remedy against this
evil, that it would probably increase it, as is manifest from the
common practice of blinding some kind of fowls, after which they fed
the faster, and grew sooner fat; that his sacred majesty and the
council, who are your judges, were, in their own consciences, fully
convinced of your guilt, which was a sufficient argument to condemn you
to death, without the formal proofs required by the strict letter of
the law.

“But his imperial majesty, fully determined against capital punishment,
was graciously pleased to say, that since the council thought the loss
of your eyes too easy a censure, some other way may be inflicted
hereafter. And your friend the secretary, humbly desiring to be heard
again, in answer to what the treasurer had objected, concerning the
great charge his majesty was at in maintaining you, said, that his
excellency, who had the sole disposal of the emperor’s revenue, might
easily provide against that evil, by gradually lessening your
establishment; by which, for want of sufficient food, you would grow
weak and faint, and lose your appetite, and consequently, decay, and
consume in a few months; neither would the stench of your carcass be
then so dangerous, when it should become more than half diminished; and
immediately upon your death five or six thousand of his majesty’s
subjects might, in two or three days, cut your flesh from your bones,
take it away by cart-loads, and bury it in distant parts, to prevent
infection, leaving the skeleton as a monument of admiration to
posterity.

“Thus, by the great friendship of the secretary, the whole affair was
compromised. It was strictly enjoined, that the project of starving you
by degrees should be kept a secret; but the sentence of putting out
your eyes was entered on the books; none dissenting, except Bolgolam
the admiral, who, being a creature of the empress, was perpetually
instigated by her majesty to insist upon your death, she having borne
perpetual malice against you, on account of that infamous and illegal
method you took to extinguish the fire in her apartment.

“In three days your friend the secretary will be directed to come to
your house, and read before you the articles of impeachment; and then
to signify the great lenity and favour of his majesty and council,
whereby you are only condemned to the loss of your eyes, which his
majesty does not question you will gratefully and humbly submit to; and
twenty of his majesty’s surgeons will attend, in order to see the
operation well performed, by discharging very sharp-pointed arrows into
the balls of your eyes, as you lie on the ground.

“I leave to your prudence what measures you will take; and to avoid
suspicion, I must immediately return in as private a manner as I came.”

His lordship did so; and I remained alone, under many doubts and
perplexities of mind.

It was a custom introduced by this prince and his ministry (very
different, as I have been assured, from the practice of former times,)
that after the court had decreed any cruel execution, either to gratify
the monarch’s resentment, or the malice of a favourite, the emperor
always made a speech to his whole council, expressing his great lenity
and tenderness, as qualities known and confessed by all the world. This
speech was immediately published throughout the kingdom; nor did any
thing terrify the people so much as those encomiums on his majesty’s
mercy; because it was observed, that the more these praises were
enlarged and insisted on, the more inhuman was the punishment, and the
sufferer more innocent. Yet, as to myself, I must confess, having never
been designed for a courtier, either by my birth or education, I was so
ill a judge of things, that I could not discover the lenity and favour
of this sentence, but conceived it (perhaps erroneously) rather to be
rigorous than gentle. I sometimes thought of standing my trial, for,
although I could not deny the facts alleged in the several articles,
yet I hoped they would admit of some extenuation. But having in my life
perused many state-trials, which I ever observed to terminate as the
judges thought fit to direct, I durst not rely on so dangerous a
decision, in so critical a juncture, and against such powerful enemies.
Once I was strongly bent upon resistance, for, while I had liberty the
whole strength of that empire could hardly subdue me, and I might
easily with stones pelt the metropolis to pieces; but I soon rejected
that project with horror, by remembering the oath I had made to the
emperor, the favours I received from him, and the high title of
_nardac_ he conferred upon me. Neither had I so soon learned the
gratitude of courtiers, to persuade myself, that his majesty’s present
severities acquitted me of all past obligations.

At last, I fixed upon a resolution, for which it is probable I may
incur some censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe the
preserving of my eyes, and consequently my liberty, to my own great
rashness and want of experience; because, if I had then known the
nature of princes and ministers, which I have since observed in many
other courts, and their methods of treating criminals less obnoxious
than myself, I should, with great alacrity and readiness, have
submitted to so easy a punishment. But hurried on by the precipitancy
of youth, and having his imperial majesty’s license to pay my
attendance upon the emperor of Blefuscu, I took this opportunity,
before the three days were elapsed, to send a letter to my friend the
secretary, signifying my resolution of setting out that morning for
Blefuscu, pursuant to the leave I had got; and, without waiting for an
answer, I went to that side of the island where our fleet lay. I seized
a large man of war, tied a cable to the prow, and, lifting up the
anchors, I stripped myself, put my clothes (together with my coverlet,
which I carried under my arm) into the vessel, and, drawing it after
me, between wading and swimming arrived at the royal port of Blefuscu,
where the people had long expected me: they lent me two guides to
direct me to the capital city, which is of the same name. I held them
in my hands, till I came within two hundred yards of the gate, and
desired them “to signify my arrival to one of the secretaries, and let
him know, I there waited his majesty’s command.” I had an answer in
about an hour, “that his majesty, attended by the royal family, and
great officers of the court, was coming out to receive me.” I advanced
a hundred yards. The emperor and his train alighted from their horses,
the empress and ladies from their coaches, and I did not perceive they
were in any fright or concern. I lay on the ground to kiss his
majesty’s and the empress’s hands. I told his majesty, “that I was come
according to my promise, and with the license of the emperor my master,
to have the honour of seeing so mighty a monarch, and to offer him any
service in my power, consistent with my duty to my own prince;” not
mentioning a word of my disgrace, because I had hitherto no regular
information of it, and might suppose myself wholly ignorant of any such
design; neither could I reasonably conceive that the emperor would
discover the secret, while I was out of his power; wherein, however, it
soon appeared I was deceived.

I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account of my
reception at this court, which was suitable to the generosity of so
great a prince; nor of the difficulties I was in for want of a house
and bed, being forced to lie on the ground, wrapped up in my coverlet.


CHAPTER VIII.

The author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu; and,
after some difficulties, returns safe to his native country.


Three days after my arrival, walking out of curiosity to the north-east
coast of the island, I observed, about half a league off in the sea,
somewhat that looked like a boat overturned. I pulled off my shoes and
stockings, and, wading two or three hundred yards, I found the object
to approach nearer by force of the tide; and then plainly saw it to be
a real boat, which I supposed might by some tempest have been driven
from a ship. Whereupon, I returned immediately towards the city, and
desired his imperial majesty to lend me twenty of the tallest vessels
he had left, after the loss of his fleet, and three thousand seamen,
under the command of his vice-admiral. This fleet sailed round, while I
went back the shortest way to the coast, where I first discovered the
boat. I found the tide had driven it still nearer. The seamen were all
provided with cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient
strength. When the ships came up, I stripped myself, and waded till I
came within a hundred yards of the boat, after which I was forced to
swim till I got up to it. The seamen threw me the end of the cord,
which I fastened to a hole in the fore-part of the boat, and the other
end to a man of war; but I found all my labour to little purpose; for,
being out of my depth, I was not able to work. In this necessity I was
forced to swim behind, and push the boat forward, as often as I could,
with one of my hands; and the tide favouring me, I advanced so far that
I could just hold up my chin and feel the ground. I rested two or three
minutes, and then gave the boat another shove, and so on, till the sea
was no higher than my arm-pits; and now, the most laborious part being
over, I took out my other cables, which were stowed in one of the
ships, and fastened them first to the boat, and then to nine of the
vessels which attended me; the wind being favourable, the seamen towed,
and I shoved, until we arrived within forty yards of the shore; and,
waiting till the tide was out, I got dry to the boat, and by the
assistance of two thousand men, with ropes and engines, I made a shift
to turn it on its bottom, and found it was but little damaged.

I shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was under, by
the help of certain paddles, which cost me ten days making, to get my
boat to the royal port of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse of people
appeared upon my arrival, full of wonder at the sight of so prodigious
a vessel. I told the emperor “that my good fortune had thrown this boat
in my way, to carry me to some place whence I might return into my
native country; and begged his majesty’s orders for getting materials
to fit it up, together with his license to depart;” which, after some
kind expostulations, he was pleased to grant.

I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of any
express relating to me from our emperor to the court of Blefuscu. But I
was afterward given privately to understand, that his imperial majesty,
never imagining I had the least notice of his designs, believed I was
only gone to Blefuscu in performance of my promise, according to the
license he had given me, which was well known at our court, and would
return in a few days, when the ceremony was ended. But he was at last
in pain at my long absence; and after consulting with the treasurer and
the rest of that cabal, a person of quality was dispatched with the
copy of the articles against me. This envoy had instructions to
represent to the monarch of Blefuscu, “the great lenity of his master,
who was content to punish me no farther than with the loss of my eyes;
that I had fled from justice; and if I did not return in two hours, I
should be deprived of my title of _nardac_, and declared a traitor.”
The envoy further added, “that in order to maintain the peace and amity
between both empires, his master expected that his brother of Blefuscu
would give orders to have me sent back to Lilliput, bound hand and
foot, to be punished as a traitor.”

The emperor of Blefuscu, having taken three days to consult, returned
an answer consisting of many civilities and excuses. He said, “that as
for sending me bound, his brother knew it was impossible; that,
although I had deprived him of his fleet, yet he owed great obligations
to me for many good offices I had done him in making the peace. That,
however, both their majesties would soon be made easy; for I had found
a prodigious vessel on the shore, able to carry me on the sea, which he
had given orders to fit up, with my own assistance and direction; and
he hoped, in a few weeks, both empires would be freed from so
insupportable an encumbrance.”

With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput; and the monarch of
Blefuscu related to me all that had passed; offering me at the same
time (but under the strictest confidence) his gracious protection, if I
would continue in his service; wherein, although I believed him
sincere, yet I resolved never more to put any confidence in princes or
ministers, where I could possibly avoid it; and therefore, with all due
acknowledgments for his favourable intentions, I humbly begged to be
excused. I told him, “that since fortune, whether good or evil, had
thrown a vessel in my way, I was resolved to venture myself on the
ocean, rather than be an occasion of difference between two such mighty
monarchs.” Neither did I find the emperor at all displeased; and I
discovered, by a certain accident, that he was very glad of my
resolution, and so were most of his ministers.

These considerations moved me to hasten my departure somewhat sooner
than I intended; to which the court, impatient to have me gone, very
readily contributed. Five hundred workmen were employed to make two
sails to my boat, according to my directions, by quilting thirteen
folds of their strongest linen together. I was at the pains of making
ropes and cables, by twisting ten, twenty, or thirty of the thickest
and strongest of theirs. A great stone that I happened to find, after a
long search, by the sea-shore, served me for an anchor. I had the
tallow of three hundred cows, for greasing my boat, and other uses. I
was at incredible pains in cutting down some of the largest
timber-trees, for oars and masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted
by his majesty’s ship-carpenters, who helped me in smoothing them,
after I had done the rough work.

In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his
majesty’s commands, and to take my leave. The emperor and royal family
came out of the palace; I lay down on my face to kiss his hand, which
he very graciously gave me: so did the empress and young princes of the
blood. His majesty presented me with fifty purses of two hundred
_sprugs_ a-piece, together with his picture at full length, which I put
immediately into one of my gloves, to keep it from being hurt. The
ceremonies at my departure were too many to trouble the reader with at
this time.

I stored the boat with the carcases of a hundred oxen, and three
hundred sheep, with bread and drink proportionable, and as much meat
ready dressed as four hundred cooks could provide. I took with me six
cows and two bulls alive, with as many ewes and rams, intending to
carry them into my own country, and propagate the breed. And to feed
them on board, I had a good bundle of hay, and a bag of corn. I would
gladly have taken a dozen of the natives, but this was a thing the
emperor would by no means permit; and, besides a diligent search into
my pockets, his majesty engaged my honour “not to carry away any of his
subjects, although with their own consent and desire.”

Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I set sail on
the twenty-fourth day of September 1701, at six in the morning; and
when I had gone about four leagues to the northward, the wind being at
south-east, at six in the evening I descried a small island, about half
a league to the north-west. I advanced forward, and cast anchor on the
lee-side of the island, which seemed to be uninhabited. I then took
some refreshment, and went to my rest. I slept well, and as I
conjectured at least six hours, for I found the day broke in two hours
after I awaked. It was a clear night. I ate my breakfast before the sun
was up; and heaving anchor, the wind being favourable, I steered the
same course that I had done the day before, wherein I was directed by
my pocket compass. My intention was to reach, if possible, one of those
islands which I had reason to believe lay to the north-east of Van
Diemen’s Land. I discovered nothing all that day; but upon the next,
about three in the afternoon, when I had by my computation made
twenty-four leagues from Blefuscu, I descried a sail steering to the
south-east; my course was due east. I hailed her, but could get no
answer; yet I found I gained upon her, for the wind slackened. I made
all the sail I could, and in half an hour she spied me, then hung out
her ancient, and discharged a gun. It is not easy to express the joy I
was in, upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing my beloved
country, and the dear pledges I left in it. The ship slackened her
sails, and I came up with her between five and six in the evening,
September 26th; but my heart leaped within me to see her English
colours. I put my cows and sheep into my coat-pockets, and got on board
with all my little cargo of provisions. The vessel was an English
merchantman, returning from Japan by the North and South seas; the
captain, Mr. John Biddel, of Deptford, a very civil man, and an
excellent sailor.

We were now in the latitude of 30 degrees south; there were about fifty
men in the ship; and here I met an old comrade of mine, one Peter
Williams, who gave me a good character to the captain. This gentleman
treated me with kindness, and desired I would let him know what place I
came from last, and whither I was bound; which I did in a few words,
but he thought I was raving, and that the dangers I underwent had
disturbed my head; whereupon I took my black cattle and sheep out of my
pocket, which, after great astonishment, clearly convinced him of my
veracity. I then showed him the gold given me by the emperor of
Blefuscu, together with his majesty’s picture at full length, and some
other rarities of that country. I gave him two purses of two hundreds
_sprugs_ each, and promised, when we arrived in England, to make him a
present of a cow and a sheep big with young.

I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of this
voyage, which was very prosperous for the most part. We arrived in the
Downs on the 13th of April, 1702. I had only one misfortune, that the
rats on board carried away one of my sheep; I found her bones in a
hole, picked clean from the flesh. The rest of my cattle I got safe
ashore, and set them a-grazing in a bowling-green at Greenwich, where
the fineness of the grass made them feed very heartily, though I had
always feared the contrary: neither could I possibly have preserved
them in so long a voyage, if the captain had not allowed me some of his
best biscuit, which, rubbed to powder, and mingled with water, was
their constant food. The short time I continued in England, I made a
considerable profit by showing my cattle to many persons of quality and
others: and before I began my second voyage, I sold them for six
hundred pounds. Since my last return I find the breed is considerably
increased, especially the sheep, which I hope will prove much to the
advantage of the woollen manufacture, by the fineness of the fleeces.

I stayed but two months with my wife and family, for my insatiable
desire of seeing foreign countries, would suffer me to continue no
longer. I left fifteen hundred pounds with my wife, and fixed her in a
good house at Redriff. My remaining stock I carried with me, part in
money and part in goods, in hopes to improve my fortunes. My eldest
uncle John had left me an estate in land, near Epping, of about thirty
pounds a year; and I had a long lease of the Black Bull in Fetter Lane,
which yielded me as much more; so that I was not in any danger of
leaving my family upon the parish. My son Johnny, named so after his
uncle, was at the grammar school, and a towardly child. My daughter
Betty (who is now well married, and has children) was then at her
needlework. I took leave of my wife, and boy and girl, with tears on
both sides, and went on board the Adventure, a merchant ship of three
hundred tons, bound for Surat, captain John Nicholas, of Liverpool,
commander. But my account of this voyage must be referred to the Second
Part of my Travels.


PART II. A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


CHAPTER I.

A great storm described; the long boat sent to fetch water; the author
goes with it to discover the country. He is left on shore, is seized by
one of the natives, and carried to a farmer’s house. His reception,
with several accidents that happened there. A description of the
inhabitants.


Having been condemned, by nature and fortune, to active and restless
life, in two months after my return, I again left my native country,
and took shipping in the Downs, on the 20th day of June, 1702, in the
Adventure, Captain John Nicholas, a Cornish man, commander, bound for
Surat. We had a very prosperous gale, till we arrived at the Cape of
Good Hope, where we landed for fresh water; but discovering a leak, we
unshipped our goods and wintered there; for the captain falling sick of
an ague, we could not leave the Cape till the end of March. We then set
sail, and had a good voyage till we passed the Straits of Madagascar;
but having got northward of that island, and to about five degrees
south latitude, the winds, which in those seas are observed to blow a
constant equal gale between the north and west, from the beginning of
December to the beginning of May, on the 19th of April began to blow
with much greater violence, and more westerly than usual, continuing so
for twenty days together: during which time, we were driven a little to
the east of the Molucca Islands, and about three degrees northward of
the line, as our captain found by an observation he took the 2nd of
May, at which time the wind ceased, and it was a perfect calm, whereat
I was not a little rejoiced. But he, being a man well experienced in
the navigation of those seas, bid us all prepare against a storm, which
accordingly happened the day following: for the southern wind, called
the southern monsoon, began to set in.

Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our sprit-sail, and stood
by to hand the fore-sail; but making foul weather, we looked the guns
were all fast, and handed the mizen. The ship lay very broad off, so we
thought it better spooning before the sea, than trying or hulling. We
reefed the fore-sail and set him, and hauled aft the fore-sheet; the
helm was hard a-weather. The ship wore bravely. We belayed the fore
down-haul; but the sail was split, and we hauled down the yard, and got
the sail into the ship, and unbound all the things clear of it. It was
a very fierce storm; the sea broke strange and dangerous. We hauled off
upon the laniard of the whip-staff, and helped the man at the helm. We
would not get down our topmast, but let all stand, because she scudded
before the sea very well, and we knew that the top-mast being aloft,
the ship was the wholesomer, and made better way through the sea,
seeing we had sea-room. When the storm was over, we set fore-sail and
main-sail, and brought the ship to. Then we set the mizen,
main-top-sail, and the fore-top-sail. Our course was east-north-east,
the wind was at south-west. We got the starboard tacks aboard, we cast
off our weather-braces and lifts; we set in the lee-braces, and hauled
forward by the weather-bowlings, and hauled them tight, and belayed
them, and hauled over the mizen tack to windward, and kept her full and
by as near as she would lie.

During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind west-south-west,
we were carried, by my computation, about five hundred leagues to the
east, so that the oldest sailor on board could not tell in what part of
the world we were. Our provisions held out well, our ship was staunch,
and our crew all in good health; but we lay in the utmost distress for
water. We thought it best to hold on the same course, rather than turn
more northerly, which might have brought us to the north-west part of
Great Tartary, and into the Frozen Sea.

On the 16th day of June, 1703, a boy on the top-mast discovered land.
On the 17th, we came in full view of a great island, or continent (for
we knew not whether;) on the south side whereof was a small neck of
land jutting out into the sea, and a creek too shallow to hold a ship
of above one hundred tons. We cast anchor within a league of this
creek, and our captain sent a dozen of his men well armed in the
long-boat, with vessels for water, if any could be found. I desired his
leave to go with them, that I might see the country, and make what
discoveries I could. When we came to land we saw no river or spring,
nor any sign of inhabitants. Our men therefore wandered on the shore to
find out some fresh water near the sea, and I walked alone about a mile
on the other side, where I observed the country all barren and rocky. I
now began to be weary, and seeing nothing to entertain my curiosity, I
returned gently down towards the creek; and the sea being full in my
view, I saw our men already got into the boat, and rowing for life to
the ship. I was going to holla after them, although it had been to
little purpose, when I observed a huge creature walking after them in
the sea, as fast as he could: he waded not much deeper than his knees,
and took prodigious strides: but our men had the start of him half a
league, and, the sea thereabouts being full of sharp-pointed rocks, the
monster was not able to overtake the boat. This I was afterwards told,
for I durst not stay to see the issue of the adventure; but ran as fast
as I could the way I first went, and then climbed up a steep hill,
which gave me some prospect of the country. I found it fully
cultivated; but that which first surprised me was the length of the
grass, which, in those grounds that seemed to be kept for hay, was
about twenty feet high.

I fell into a high road, for so I took it to be, though it served to
the inhabitants only as a foot-path through a field of barley. Here I
walked on for some time, but could see little on either side, it being
now near harvest, and the corn rising at least forty feet. I was an
hour walking to the end of this field, which was fenced in with a hedge
of at least one hundred and twenty feet high, and the trees so lofty
that I could make no computation of their altitude. There was a stile
to pass from this field into the next. It had four steps, and a stone
to cross over when you came to the uppermost. It was impossible for me
to climb this stile, because every step was six-feet high, and the
upper stone about twenty. I was endeavouring to find some gap in the
hedge, when I discovered one of the inhabitants in the next field,
advancing towards the stile, of the same size with him whom I saw in
the sea pursuing our boat. He appeared as tall as an ordinary spire
steeple, and took about ten yards at every stride, as near as I could
guess. I was struck with the utmost fear and astonishment, and ran to
hide myself in the corn, whence I saw him at the top of the stile
looking back into the next field on the right hand, and heard him call
in a voice many degrees louder than a speaking-trumpet: but the noise
was so high in the air, that at first I certainly thought it was
thunder. Whereupon seven monsters, like himself, came towards him with
reaping-hooks in their hands, each hook about the largeness of six
scythes. These people were not so well clad as the first, whose
servants or labourers they seemed to be; for, upon some words he spoke,
they went to reap the corn in the field where I lay. I kept from them
at as great a distance as I could, but was forced to move with extreme
difficulty, for the stalks of the corn were sometimes not above a foot
distant, so that I could hardly squeeze my body betwixt them. However,
I made a shift to go forward, till I came to a part of the field where
the corn had been laid by the rain and wind. Here it was impossible for
me to advance a step; for the stalks were so interwoven, that I could
not creep through, and the beards of the fallen ears so strong and
pointed, that they pierced through my clothes into my flesh. At the
same time I heard the reapers not a hundred yards behind me. Being
quite dispirited with toil, and wholly overcome by grief and dispair, I
lay down between two ridges, and heartily wished I might there end my
days. I bemoaned my desolate widow and fatherless children. I lamented
my own folly and wilfulness, in attempting a second voyage, against the
advice of all my friends and relations. In this terrible agitation of
mind, I could not forbear thinking of Lilliput, whose inhabitants
looked upon me as the greatest prodigy that ever appeared in the world;
where I was able to draw an imperial fleet in my hand, and perform
those other actions, which will be recorded for ever in the chronicles
of that empire, while posterity shall hardly believe them, although
attested by millions. I reflected what a mortification it must prove to
me, to appear as inconsiderable in this nation, as one single
Lilliputian would be among us. But this I conceived was to be the least
of my misfortunes; for, as human creatures are observed to be more
savage and cruel in proportion to their bulk, what could I expect but
to be a morsel in the mouth of the first among these enormous
barbarians that should happen to seize me? Undoubtedly philosophers are
in the right, when they tell us that nothing is great or little
otherwise than by comparison. It might have pleased fortune, to have
let the Lilliputians find some nation, where the people were as
diminutive with respect to them, as they were to me. And who knows but
that even this prodigious race of mortals might be equally overmatched
in some distant part of the world, whereof we have yet no discovery.

Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with these
reflections, when one of the reapers, approaching within ten yards of
the ridge where I lay, made me apprehend that with the next step I
should be squashed to death under his foot, or cut in two with his
reaping-hook. And therefore, when he was again about to move, I
screamed as loud as fear could make me: whereupon the huge creature
trod short, and, looking round about under him for some time, at last
espied me as I lay on the ground. He considered awhile, with the
caution of one who endeavours to lay hold on a small dangerous animal
in such a manner that it shall not be able either to scratch or bite
him, as I myself have sometimes done with a weasel in England. At
length he ventured to take me behind, by the middle, between his
fore-finger and thumb, and brought me within three yards of his eyes,
that he might behold my shape more perfectly. I guessed his meaning,
and my good fortune gave me so much presence of mind, that I resolved
not to struggle in the least as he held me in the air above sixty feet
from the ground, although he grievously pinched my sides, for fear I
should slip through his fingers. All I ventured was to raise my eyes
towards the sun, and place my hands together in a supplicating posture,
and to speak some words in a humble melancholy tone, suitable to the
condition I then was in: for I apprehended every moment that he would
dash me against the ground, as we usually do any little hateful animal,
which we have a mind to destroy. But my good star would have it, that
he appeared pleased with my voice and gestures, and began to look upon
me as a curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronounce articulate
words, although he could not understand them. In the mean time I was
not able to forbear groaning and shedding tears, and turning my head
towards my sides; letting him know, as well as I could, how cruelly I
was hurt by the pressure of his thumb and finger. He seemed to
apprehend my meaning; for, lifting up the lappet of his coat, he put me
gently into it, and immediately ran along with me to his master, who
was a substantial farmer, and the same person I had first seen in the
field.

The farmer having (as I suppose by their talk) received such an account
of me as his servant could give him, took a piece of a small straw,
about the size of a walking-staff, and therewith lifted up the lappets
of my coat; which it seems he thought to be some kind of covering that
nature had given me. He blew my hairs aside to take a better view of my
face. He called his hinds about him, and asked them, as I afterwards
learned, whether they had ever seen in the fields any little creature
that resembled me. He then placed me softly on the ground upon all
fours, but I got immediately up, and walked slowly backward and
forward, to let those people see I had no intent to run away. They all
sat down in a circle about me, the better to observe my motions. I
pulled off my hat, and made a low bow towards the farmer. I fell on my
knees, and lifted up my hands and eyes, and spoke several words as loud
as I could: I took a purse of gold out of my pocket, and humbly
presented it to him. He received it on the palm of his hand, then
applied it close to his eye to see what it was, and afterwards turned
it several times with the point of a pin (which he took out of his
sleeve,) but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a sign that he
should place his hand on the ground. I then took the purse, and,
opening it, poured all the gold into his palm. There were six Spanish
pieces of four pistoles each, beside twenty or thirty smaller coins. I
saw him wet the tip of his little finger upon his tongue, and take up
one of my largest pieces, and then another; but he seemed to be wholly
ignorant what they were. He made me a sign to put them again into my
purse, and the purse again into my pocket, which, after offering it to
him several times, I thought it best to do.

The farmer, by this time, was convinced I must be a rational creature.
He spoke often to me; but the sound of his voice pierced my ears like
that of a water-mill, yet his words were articulate enough. I answered
as loud as I could in several languages, and he often laid his ear
within two yards of me: but all in vain, for we were wholly
unintelligible to each other. He then sent his servants to their work,
and taking his handkerchief out of his pocket, he doubled and spread it
on his left hand, which he placed flat on the ground with the palm
upward, making me a sign to step into it, as I could easily do, for it
was not above a foot in thickness. I thought it my part to obey, and,
for fear of falling, laid myself at full length upon the handkerchief,
with the remainder of which he lapped me up to the head for further
security, and in this manner carried me home to his house. There he
called his wife, and showed me to her; but she screamed and ran back,
as women in England do at the sight of a toad or a spider. However,
when she had a while seen my behaviour, and how well I observed the
signs her husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by degrees grew
extremely tender of me.

It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It was
only one substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition of a
husbandman,) in a dish of about four-and-twenty feet diameter. The
company were, the farmer and his wife, three children, and an old
grandmother. When they were sat down, the farmer placed me at some
distance from him on the table, which was thirty feet high from the
floor. I was in a terrible fright, and kept as far as I could from the
edge, for fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of meat, then crumbled
some bread on a trencher, and placed it before me. I made her a low
bow, took out my knife and fork, and fell to eat, which gave them
exceeding delight. The mistress sent her maid for a small dram cup,
which held about two gallons, and filled it with drink; I took up the
vessel with much difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful
manner drank to her ladyship’s health, expressing the words as loud as
I could in English, which made the company laugh so heartily, that I
was almost deafened with the noise. This liquor tasted like a small
cider, and was not unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to come
to his trencher side; but as I walked on the table, being in great
surprise all the time, as the indulgent reader will easily conceive and
excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and fell flat on my
face, but received no hurt. I got up immediately, and observing the
good people to be in much concern, I took my hat (which I held under my
arm out of good manners,) and waving it over my head, made three
huzzas, to show I had got no mischief by my fall. But advancing forward
towards my master (as I shall henceforth call him,) his youngest son,
who sat next to him, an arch boy of about ten years old, took me up by
the legs, and held me so high in the air, that I trembled every limb:
but his father snatched me from him, and at the same time gave him such
a box on the left ear, as would have felled an European troop of horse
to the earth, ordering him to be taken from the table. But being afraid
the boy might owe me a spite, and well remembering how mischievous all
children among us naturally are to sparrows, rabbits, young kittens,
and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees, and pointing to the boy, made my
master to understand, as well as I could, that I desired his son might
be pardoned. The father complied, and the lad took his seat again,
whereupon I went to him, and kissed his hand, which my master took, and
made him stroke me gently with it.

In the midst of dinner, my mistress’s favourite cat leaped into her
lap. I heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking-weavers at
work; and turning my head, I found it proceeded from the purring of
that animal, who seemed to be three times larger than an ox, as I
computed by the view of her head, and one of her paws, while her
mistress was feeding and stroking her. The fierceness of this
creature’s countenance altogether discomposed me; though I stood at the
farther end of the table, above fifty feet off; and although my
mistress held her fast, for fear she might give a spring, and seize me
in her talons. But it happened there was no danger, for the cat took
not the least notice of me when my master placed me within three yards
of her. And as I have been always told, and found true by experience in
my travels, that flying or discovering fear before a fierce animal, is
a certain way to make it pursue or attack you, so I resolved, in this
dangerous juncture, to show no manner of concern. I walked with
intrepidity five or six times before the very head of the cat, and came
within half a yard of her; whereupon she drew herself back, as if she
were more afraid of me: I had less apprehension concerning the dogs,
whereof three or four came into the room, as it is usual in farmers’
houses; one of which was a mastiff, equal in bulk to four elephants,
and another a greyhound, somewhat taller than the mastiff, but not so
large.

When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a year
old in her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a squall that you
might have heard from London Bridge to Chelsea, after the usual oratory
of infants, to get me for a plaything. The mother, out of pure
indulgence, took me up, and put me towards the child, who presently
seized me by the middle, and got my head into his mouth, where I roared
so loud that the urchin was frighted, and let me drop, and I should
infallibly have broke my neck, if the mother had not held her apron
under me. The nurse, to quiet her babe, made use of a rattle which was
a kind of hollow vessel filled with great stones, and fastened by a
cable to the child’s waist: but all in vain; so that she was forced to
apply the last remedy by giving it suck. I must confess no object ever
disgusted me so much as the sight of her monstrous breast, which I
cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the curious reader an
idea of its bulk, shape, and colour. It stood prominent six feet, and
could not be less than sixteen in circumference. The nipple was about
half the bigness of my head, and the hue both of that and the dug, so
varied with spots, pimples, and freckles, that nothing could appear
more nauseous: for I had a near sight of her, she sitting down, the
more conveniently to give suck, and I standing on the table. This made
me reflect upon the fair skins of our English ladies, who appear so
beautiful to us, only because they are of our own size, and their
defects not to be seen but through a magnifying glass; where we find by
experiment that the smoothest and whitest skins look rough, and coarse,
and ill-coloured.

I remember when I was at Lilliput, the complexion of those diminutive
people appeared to me the fairest in the world; and talking upon this
subject with a person of learning there, who was an intimate friend of
mine, he said that my face appeared much fairer and smoother when he
looked on me from the ground, than it did upon a nearer view, when I
took him up in my hand, and brought him close, which he confessed was
at first a very shocking sight. He said, “he could discover great holes
in my skin; that the stumps of my beard were ten times stronger than
the bristles of a boar, and my complexion made up of several colours
altogether disagreeable:” although I must beg leave to say for myself,
that I am as fair as most of my sex and country, and very little
sunburnt by all my travels. On the other side, discoursing of the
ladies in that emperor’s court, he used to tell me, “one had freckles;
another too wide a mouth; a third too large a nose;” nothing of which I
was able to distinguish. I confess this reflection was obvious enough;
which, however, I could not forbear, lest the reader might think those
vast creatures were actually deformed: for I must do them the justice
to say, they are a comely race of people, and particularly the features
of my master’s countenance, although he was but a farmer, when I beheld
him from the height of sixty feet, appeared very well proportioned.

When dinner was done, my master went out to his labourers, and, as I
could discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife strict charge to
take care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to sleep, which my
mistress perceiving, she put me on her own bed, and covered me with a
clean white handkerchief, but larger and coarser than the mainsail of a
man of war.

I slept about two hours, and dreamt I was at home with my wife and
children, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked, and found myself
alone in a vast room, between two and three hundred feet wide, and
above two hundred high, lying in a bed twenty yards wide. My mistress
was gone about her household affairs, and had locked me in. The bed was
eight yards from the floor. Some natural necessities required me to get
down; I durst not presume to call; and if I had, it would have been in
vain, with such a voice as mine, at so great a distance from the room
where I lay to the kitchen where the family kept. While I was under
these circumstances, two rats crept up the curtains, and ran smelling
backwards and forwards on the bed. One of them came up almost to my
face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew out my hanger to defend
myself. These horrible animals had the boldness to attack me on both
sides, and one of them held his forefeet at my collar; but I had the
good fortune to rip up his belly before he could do me any mischief. He
fell down at my feet; and the other, seeing the fate of his comrade,
made his escape, but not without one good wound on the back, which I
gave him as he fled, and made the blood run trickling from him. After
this exploit, I walked gently to and fro on the bed, to recover my
breath and loss of spirits. These creatures were of the size of a large
mastiff, but infinitely more nimble and fierce; so that if I had taken
off my belt before I went to sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to
pieces and devoured. I measured the tail of the dead rat, and found it
to be two yards long, wanting an inch; but it went against my stomach
to drag the carcass off the bed, where it lay still bleeding; I
observed it had yet some life, but with a strong slash across the neck,
I thoroughly despatched it.

Soon after my mistress came into the room, who seeing me all bloody,
ran and took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead rat, smiling, and
making other signs to show I was not hurt; whereat she was extremely
rejoiced, calling the maid to take up the dead rat with a pair of
tongs, and throw it out of the window. Then she set me on a table,
where I showed her my hanger all bloody, and wiping it on the lappet of
my coat, returned it to the scabbard. I was pressed to do more than one
thing which another could not do for me, and therefore endeavoured to
make my mistress understand, that I desired to be set down on the
floor; which after she had done, my bashfulness would not suffer me to
express myself farther, than by pointing to the door, and bowing
several times. The good woman, with much difficulty, at last perceived
what I would be at, and taking me up again in her hand, walked into the
garden, where she set me down. I went on one side about two hundred
yards, and beckoning to her not to look or to follow me, I hid myself
between two leaves of sorrel, and there discharged the necessities of
nature.

I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and the
like particulars, which, however insignificant they may appear to
groveling vulgar minds, yet will certainly help a philosopher to
enlarge his thoughts and imagination, and apply them to the benefit of
public as well as private life, which was my sole design in presenting
this and other accounts of my travels to the world; wherein I have been
chiefly studious of truth, without affecting any ornaments of learning
or of style. But the whole scene of this voyage made so strong an
impression on my mind, and is so deeply fixed in my memory, that, in
committing it to paper I did not omit one material circumstance:
however, upon a strict review, I blotted out several passages of less
moment which were in my first copy, for fear of being censured as
tedious and trifling, whereof travellers are often, perhaps not without
justice, accused.


CHAPTER II.

A description of the farmer’s daughter. The author carried to a
market-town, and then to the metropolis. The particulars of his
journey.


My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of towardly parts
for her age, very dexterous at her needle, and skilful in dressing her
baby. Her mother and she contrived to fit up the baby’s cradle for me
against night: the cradle was put into a small drawer of a cabinet, and
the drawer placed upon a hanging shelf for fear of the rats. This was
my bed all the time I staid with those people, though made more
convenient by degrees, as I began to learn their language and make my
wants known. This young girl was so handy, that after I had once or
twice pulled off my clothes before her, she was able to dress and
undress me, though I never gave her that trouble when she would let me
do either myself. She made me seven shirts, and some other linen, of as
fine cloth as could be got, which indeed was coarser than sackcloth;
and these she constantly washed for me with her own hands. She was
likewise my school-mistress, to teach me the language: when I pointed
to any thing, she told me the name of it in her own tongue, so that in
a few days I was able to call for whatever I had a mind to. She was
very good-natured, and not above forty feet high, being little for her
age. She gave me the name of _Grildrig_, which the family took up, and
afterwards the whole kingdom. The word imports what the Latins call
_nanunculus_, the Italians _homunceletino_, and the English _mannikin_.
To her I chiefly owe my preservation in that country: we never parted
while I was there; I called her my _Glumdalclitch_, or little nurse;
and should be guilty of great ingratitude, if I omitted this honourable
mention of her care and affection towards me, which I heartily wish it
lay in my power to requite as she deserves, instead of being the
innocent, but unhappy instrument of her disgrace, as I have too much
reason to fear.

It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbourhood, that my
master had found a strange animal in the field, about the bigness of a
_splacnuck_, but exactly shaped in every part like a human creature;
which it likewise imitated in all its actions; seemed to speak in a
little language of its own, had already learned several words of
theirs, went erect upon two legs, was tame and gentle, would come when
it was called, do whatever it was bid, had the finest limbs in the
world, and a complexion fairer than a nobleman’s daughter of three
years old. Another farmer, who lived hard by, and was a particular
friend of my master, came on a visit on purpose to inquire into the
truth of this story. I was immediately produced, and placed upon a
table, where I walked as I was commanded, drew my hanger, put it up
again, made my reverence to my master’s guest, asked him in his own
language how he did, and told him _he was welcome_, just as my little
nurse had instructed me. This man, who was old and dim-sighted, put on
his spectacles to behold me better; at which I could not forbear
laughing very heartily, for his eyes appeared like the full moon
shining into a chamber at two windows. Our people, who discovered the
cause of my mirth, bore me company in laughing, at which the old fellow
was fool enough to be angry and out of countenance. He had the
character of a great miser; and, to my misfortune, he well deserved it,
by the cursed advice he gave my master, to show me as a sight upon a
market-day in the next town, which was half an hour’s riding, about
two-and-twenty miles from our house. I guessed there was some mischief
when I observed my master and his friend whispering together, sometimes
pointing at me; and my fears made me fancy that I overheard and
understood some of their words. But the next morning Glumdalclitch, my
little nurse, told me the whole matter, which she had cunningly picked
out from her mother. The poor girl laid me on her bosom, and fell a
weeping with shame and grief. She apprehended some mischief would
happen to me from rude vulgar folks, who might squeeze me to death, or
break one of my limbs by taking me in their hands. She had also
observed how modest I was in my nature, how nicely I regarded my
honour, and what an indignity I should conceive it, to be exposed for
money as a public spectacle, to the meanest of the people. She said,
her papa and mamma had promised that Grildrig should be hers; but now
she found they meant to serve her as they did last year, when they
pretended to give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it
to a butcher. For my own part, I may truly affirm, that I was less
concerned than my nurse. I had a strong hope, which never left me, that
I should one day recover my liberty: and as to the ignominy of being
carried about for a monster, I considered myself to be a perfect
stranger in the country, and that such a misfortune could never be
charged upon me as a reproach, if ever I should return to England,
since the king of Great Britain himself, in my condition, must have
undergone the same distress.

My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a box
the next market-day to the neighbouring town, and took along with him
his little daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion behind him. The box was
close on every side, with a little door for me to go in and out, and a
few gimlet holes to let in air. The girl had been so careful as to put
the quilt of her baby’s bed into it, for me to lie down on. However, I
was terribly shaken and discomposed in this journey, though it was but
of half an hour: for the horse went about forty feet at every step and
trotted so high, that the agitation was equal to the rising and falling
of a ship in a great storm, but much more frequent. Our journey was
somewhat farther than from London to St. Alban’s. My master alighted at
an inn which he used to frequent; and after consulting a while with the
inn-keeper, and making some necessary preparations, he hired the
_grultrud_, or crier, to give notice through the town of a strange
creature to be seen at the sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as a
_splacnuck_ (an animal in that country very finely shaped, about six
feet long,) and in every part of the body resembling a human creature,
could speak several words, and perform a hundred diverting tricks.

I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which might
be near three hundred feet square. My little nurse stood on a low stool
close to the table, to take care of me, and direct what I should do. My
master, to avoid a crowd, would suffer only thirty people at a time to
see me. I walked about on the table as the girl commanded; she asked me
questions, as far as she knew my understanding of the language reached,
and I answered them as loud as I could. I turned about several times to
the company, paid my humble respects, said _they were welcome_, and
used some other speeches I had been taught. I took up a thimble filled
with liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a cup, and drank
their health, I drew out my hanger, and flourished with it after the
manner of fencers in England. My nurse gave me a part of a straw, which
I exercised as a pike, having learnt the art in my youth. I was that
day shown to twelve sets of company, and as often forced to act over
again the same fopperies, till I was half dead with weariness and
vexation; for those who had seen me made such wonderful reports, that
the people were ready to break down the doors to come in. My master,
for his own interest, would not suffer any one to touch me except my
nurse; and to prevent danger, benches were set round the table at such
a distance as to put me out of every body’s reach. However, an unlucky
school-boy aimed a hazel nut directly at my head, which very narrowly
missed me; otherwise it came with so much violence, that it would have
infallibly knocked out my brains, for it was almost as large as a small
pumpkin, but I had the satisfaction to see the young rogue well beaten,
and turned out of the room.

My master gave public notice that he would show me again the next
market-day; and in the meantime he prepared a convenient vehicle for
me, which he had reason enough to do; for I was so tired with my first
journey, and with entertaining company for eight hours together, that I
could hardly stand upon my legs, or speak a word. It was at least three
days before I recovered my strength; and that I might have no rest at
home, all the neighbouring gentlemen from a hundred miles round,
hearing of my fame, came to see me at my master’s own house. There
could not be fewer than thirty persons with their wives and children
(for the country is very populous;) and my master demanded the rate of
a full room whenever he showed me at home, although it were only to a
single family; so that for some time I had but little ease every day of
the week (except Wednesday, which is their Sabbath,) although I were
not carried to the town.

My master, finding how profitable I was likely to be, resolved to carry
me to the most considerable cities of the kingdom. Having therefore
provided himself with all things necessary for a long journey, and
settled his affairs at home, he took leave of his wife, and upon the
17th of August, 1703, about two months after my arrival, we set out for
the metropolis, situated near the middle of that empire, and about
three thousand miles distance from our house. My master made his
daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind him. She carried me on her lap, in a
box tied about her waist. The girl had lined it on all sides with the
softest cloth she could get, well quilted underneath, furnished it with
her baby’s bed, provided me with linen and other necessaries, and made
everything as convenient as she could. We had no other company but a
boy of the house, who rode after us with the luggage.

My master’s design was to show me in all the towns by the way, and to
step out of the road for fifty or a hundred miles, to any village, or
person of quality’s house, where he might expect custom. We made easy
journeys, of not above seven or eight score miles a day; for
Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare me, complained she was tired with
the trotting of the horse. She often took me out of my box, at my own
desire, to give me air, and show me the country, but always held me
fast by a leading-string. We passed over five or six rivers, many
degrees broader and deeper than the Nile or the Ganges: and there was
hardly a rivulet so small as the Thames at London Bridge. We were ten
weeks in our journey, and I was shown in eighteen large towns, besides
many villages, and private families.

On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis, called in
their language _Lorbrulgrud_, or Pride of the Universe. My master took
a lodging in the principal street of the city, not far from the royal
palace, and put out bills in the usual form, containing an exact
description of my person and parts. He hired a large room between three
and four hundred feet wide. He provided a table sixty feet in diameter,
upon which I was to act my part, and pallisadoed it round three feet
from the edge, and as many high, to prevent my falling over. I was
shown ten times a day, to the wonder and satisfaction of all people. I
could now speak the language tolerably well, and perfectly understood
every word, that was spoken to me. Besides, I had learnt their
alphabet, and could make a shift to explain a sentence here and there;
for Glumdalclitch had been my instructor while we were at home, and at
leisure hours during our journey. She carried a little book in her
pocket, not much larger than a Sanson’s Atlas; it was a common treatise
for the use of young girls, giving a short account of their religion:
out of this she taught me my letters, and interpreted the words.


CHAPTER III.

The author sent for to court. The queen buys him of his master the
farmer, and presents him to the king. He disputes with his majesty’s
great scholars. An apartment at court provided for the author. He is in
high favour with the queen. He stands up for the honour of his own
country. His quarrels with the queen’s dwarf.


The frequent labours I underwent every day, made, in a few weeks, a
very considerable change in my health: the more my master got by me,
the more insatiable he grew. I had quite lost my stomach, and was
almost reduced to a skeleton. The farmer observed it, and concluding I
must soon die, resolved to make as good a hand of me as he could. While
he was thus reasoning and resolving with himself, a _sardral_, or
gentleman-usher, came from court, commanding my master to carry me
immediately thither for the diversion of the queen and her ladies. Some
of the latter had already been to see me, and reported strange things
of my beauty, behaviour, and good sense. Her majesty, and those who
attended her, were beyond measure delighted with my demeanour. I fell
on my knees, and begged the honour of kissing her imperial foot; but
this gracious princess held out her little finger towards me, after I
was set on the table, which I embraced in both my arms, and put the tip
of it with the utmost respect to my lip. She made me some general
questions about my country and my travels, which I answered as
distinctly, and in as few words as I could. She asked, “whether I could
be content to live at court?” I bowed down to the board of the table,
and humbly answered “that I was my master’s slave: but, if I were at my
own disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to her majesty’s
service.” She then asked my master, “whether he was willing to sell me
at a good price?” He, who apprehended I could not live a month, was
ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of gold,
which were ordered him on the spot, each piece being about the bigness
of eight hundred moidores; but allowing for the proportion of all
things between that country and Europe, and the high price of gold
among them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in
England. I then said to the queen, “since I was now her majesty’s most
humble creature and vassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch,
who had always tended me with so much care and kindness, and understood
to do it so well, might be admitted into her service, and continue to
be my nurse and instructor.”

Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer’s consent,
who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at court, and the
poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My late master
withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me in a good
service; to which I replied not a word, only making him a slight bow.

The queen observed my coldness; and, when the farmer was gone out of
the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her majesty,
“that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than his not
dashing out the brains of a poor harmless creature, found by chance in
his fields: which obligation was amply recompensed, by the gain he had
made in showing me through half the kingdom, and the price he had now
sold me for. That the life I had since led was laborious enough to kill
an animal of ten times my strength. That my health was much impaired,
by the continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble every hour of the
day; and that, if my master had not thought my life in danger, her
majesty would not have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all
fear of being ill-treated under the protection of so great and good an
empress, the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight
of her subjects, the phœnix of the creation, so I hoped my late
master’s apprehensions would appear to be groundless; for I already
found my spirits revive, by the influence of her most august presence.”

This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties and
hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style peculiar
to that people, whereof I learned some phrases from Glumdalclitch,
while she was carrying me to court.

The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking,
was, however, surprised at so much wit and good sense in so diminutive
an animal. She took me in her own hand, and carried me to the king, who
was then retired to his cabinet. His majesty, a prince of much gravity
and austere countenance, not well observing my shape at first view,
asked the queen after a cold manner “how long it was since she grew
fond of a _splacnuck_?” for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay
upon my breast in her majesty’s right hand. But this princess, who has
an infinite deal of wit and humour, set me gently on my feet upon the
scrutoire, and commanded me to give his majesty an account of myself,
which I did in a very few words: and Glumdalclitch who attended at the
cabinet door, and could not endure I should be out of her sight, being
admitted, confirmed all that had passed from my arrival at her father’s
house.

The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his dominions,
had been educated in the study of philosophy, and particularly
mathematics; yet when he observed my shape exactly, and saw me walk
erect, before I began to speak, conceived I might be a piece of
clock-work (which is in that country arrived to a very great
perfection) contrived by some ingenious artist. But when he heard my
voice, and found what I delivered to be regular and rational, he could
not conceal his astonishment. He was by no means satisfied with the
relation I gave him of the manner I came into his kingdom, but thought
it a story concerted between Glumdalclitch and her father, who had
taught me a set of words to make me sell at a better price. Upon this
imagination, he put several other questions to me, and still received
rational answers: no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and
an imperfect knowledge in the language, with some rustic phrases which
I had learned at the farmer’s house, and did not suit the polite style
of a court.

His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in their
weekly waiting, according to the custom in that country. These
gentlemen, after they had a while examined my shape with much nicety,
were of different opinions concerning me. They all agreed that I could
not be produced according to the regular laws of nature, because I was
not framed with a capacity of preserving my life, either by swiftness,
or climbing of trees, or digging holes in the earth. They observed by
my teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a
carnivorous animal; yet most quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and
field mice, with some others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I
should be able to support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other
insects, which they offered, by many learned arguments, to evince that
I could not possibly do. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I
might be an embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by
the other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished; and
that I had lived several years, as it was manifest from my beard, the
stumps whereof they plainly discovered through a magnifying glass. They
would not allow me to be a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all
degrees of comparison; for the queen’s favourite dwarf, the smallest
ever known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After much
debate, they concluded unanimously, that I was only _relplum scalcath_,
which is interpreted literally _lusus naturæ_; a determination exactly
agreeable to the modern philosophy of Europe, whose professors,
disdaining the old evasion of occult causes, whereby the followers of
Aristotle endeavoured in vain to disguise their ignorance, have
invented this wonderful solution of all difficulties, to the
unspeakable advancement of human knowledge.

After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or two.
I applied myself to the king, and assured his majesty, “that I came
from a country which abounded with several millions of both sexes, and
of my own stature; where the animals, trees, and houses, were all in
proportion, and where, by consequence, I might be as able to defend
myself, and to find sustenance, as any of his majesty’s subjects could
do here; which I took for a full answer to those gentlemen’s
arguments.” To this they only replied with a smile of contempt, saying,
“that the farmer had instructed me very well in my lesson.” The king,
who had a much better understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent
for the farmer, who by good fortune was not yet gone out of town.
Having therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him
with me and the young girl, his majesty began to think that what we
told him might possibly be true. He desired the queen to order that a
particular care should be taken of me; and was of opinion that
Glumdalclitch should still continue in her office of tending me,
because he observed we had a great affection for each other. A
convenient apartment was provided for her at court: she had a sort of
governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid to dress her,
and two other servants for menial offices; but the care of me was
wholly appropriated to herself. The queen commanded her own
cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might serve me for a bedchamber,
after the model that Glumdalclitch and I should agree upon. This man
was a most ingenious artist, and according to my direction, in three
weeks finished for me a wooden chamber of sixteen feet square, and
twelve high, with sash-windows, a door, and two closets, like a London
bed-chamber. The board, that made the ceiling, was to be lifted up and
down by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her majesty’s
upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to air, made it
with her own hands, and letting it down at night, locked up the roof
over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little curiosities,
undertook to make me two chairs, with backs and frames, of a substance
not unlike ivory, and two tables, with a cabinet to put my things in.
The room was quilted on all sides, as well as the floor and the
ceiling, to prevent any accident from the carelessness of those who
carried me, and to break the force of a jolt, when I went in a coach. I
desired a lock for my door, to prevent rats and mice from coming in.
The smith, after several attempts, made the smallest that ever was seen
among them, for I have known a larger at the gate of a gentleman’s
house in England. I made a shift to keep the key in a pocket of my own,
fearing Glumdalclitch might lose it. The queen likewise ordered the
thinnest silks that could be gotten, to make me clothes, not much
thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was accustomed
to them. They were after the fashion of the kingdom, partly resembling
the Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a very grave and decent
habit.

The queen became so fond of my company, that she could not dine without
me. I had a table placed upon the same at which her majesty ate, just
at her left elbow, and a chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch stood on a
stool on the floor near my table, to assist and take care of me. I had
an entire set of silver dishes and plates, and other necessaries,
which, in proportion to those of the queen, were not much bigger than
what I have seen in a London toy-shop for the furniture of a
baby-house: these my little nurse kept in her pocket in a silver box,
and gave me at meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them herself. No
person dined with the queen but the two princesses royal, the eldest
sixteen years old, and the younger at that time thirteen and a month.
Her majesty used to put a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of
which I carved for myself, and her diversion was to see me eat in
miniature: for the queen (who had indeed but a weak stomach) took up,
at one mouthful, as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a
meal, which to me was for some time a very nauseous sight. She would
craunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although
it were nine times as large as that of a full-grown turkey; and put a
bit of bread into her mouth as big as two twelve-penny loaves. She
drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a draught. Her knives
were twice as long as a scythe, set straight upon the handle. The
spoons, forks, and other instruments, were all in the same proportion.
I remember when Glumdalclitch carried me, out of curiosity, to see some
of the tables at court, where ten or a dozen of those enormous knives
and forks were lifted up together, I thought I had never till then
beheld so terrible a sight.

It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have observed, is
their Sabbath) the king and queen, with the royal issue of both sexes,
dine together in the apartment of his majesty, to whom I was now become
a great favourite; and at these times, my little chair and table were
placed at his left hand, before one of the salt-cellars. This prince
took a pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the manners,
religion, laws, government, and learning of Europe; wherein I gave him
the best account I was able. His apprehension was so clear, and his
judgment so exact, that he made very wise reflections and observations
upon all I said. But I confess, that, after I had been a little too
copious in talking of my own beloved country, of our trade and wars by
sea and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state; the
prejudices of his education prevailed so far, that he could not forbear
taking me up in his right hand, and stroking me gently with the other,
after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me, “whether I was a whig or
tory?” Then turning to his first minister, who waited behind him with a
white staff, near as tall as the mainmast of the Royal Sovereign, he
observed “how contemptible a thing was human grandeur, which could be
mimicked by such diminutive insects as I: and yet,” says he, “I dare
engage these creatures have their titles and distinctions of honour;
they contrive little nests and burrows, that they call houses and
cities; they make a figure in dress and equipage; they love, they
fight, they dispute, they cheat, they betray!” And thus he continued
on, while my colour came and went several times, with indignation, to
hear our noble country, the mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of
France, the arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue, piety, honour, and
truth, the pride and envy of the world, so contemptuously treated.

But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature
thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after
having been accustomed several months to the sight and converse of this
people, and observed every object upon which I cast my eyes to be of
proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived from
their bulk and aspect was so far worn off, that if I had then beheld a
company of English lords and ladies in their finery and birth-day
clothes, acting their several parts in the most courtly manner of
strutting, and bowing, and prating, to say the truth, I should have
been strongly tempted to laugh as much at them as the king and his
grandees did at me. Neither, indeed, could I forbear smiling at myself,
when the queen used to place me upon her hand towards a looking-glass,
by which both our persons appeared before me in full view together; and
there could be nothing more ridiculous than the comparison; so that I
really began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees below my usual
size.

Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen’s dwarf; who
being of the lowest stature that was ever in that country (for I verily
think he was not full thirty feet high), became so insolent at seeing a
creature so much beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger
and look big as he passed by me in the queen’s antechamber, while I was
standing on some table talking with the lords or ladies of the court,
and he seldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness; against
which I could only revenge myself by calling him brother, challenging
him to wrestle, and such repartees as are usually in the mouths of
court pages. One day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was so
nettled with something I had said to him, that, raising himself upon
the frame of her majesty’s chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was
sitting down, not thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large
silver bowl of cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell
over head and ears, and, if I had not been a good swimmer, it might
have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that instant happened
to be at the other end of the room, and the queen was in such a fright,
that she wanted presence of mind to assist me. But my little nurse ran
to my relief, and took me out, after I had swallowed above a quart of
cream. I was put to bed: however, I received no other damage than the
loss of a suit of clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was
soundly whipt, and as a farther punishment, forced to drink up the bowl
of cream into which he had thrown me: neither was he ever restored to
favour; for soon after the queen bestowed him on a lady of high
quality, so that I saw him no more, to my very great satisfaction; for
I could not tell to what extremities such a malicious urchin might have
carried his resentment.

He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen a-laughing,
although at the same time she was heartily vexed, and would have
immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to
intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone upon her plate, and,
after knocking out the marrow, placed the bone again in the dish erect,
as it stood before; the dwarf, watching his opportunity, while
Glumdalclitch was gone to the side-board, mounted the stool that she
stood on to tak

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