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Trials and Triumphs of Faith

by Mary Cole · English · Gutenberg #7429 · 426,282 chars · public domain (US)

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Title: Trials and Triumphs of Faith

Author: Mary Cole


        
Release date: February 1, 2005 [eBook #7429]
                Most recently updated: October 19, 2012

Language: English

Other information and formats: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/7429

Credits: Produced by Timeless Truths Online Library, Charles Franks, Juliet Sutherland, Joel Erickson and the DP Team


*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TRIALS AND TRIUMPHS OF FAITH ***




Produced by Timeless Truths Online Library, Charles Franks,
Juliet Sutherland, Joel Erickson and the DP Team











TRIALS AND TRIUMPHS OF FAITH

BY MARY COLE

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the
wiles of the devil.--_Paul_.




PREFACE

The history of the world consists mainly of the stories of the lives of
certain men and women whose deeds have been of sufficient importance to
make them worth relating. The lives of some persons have been worth
narrating because of their abounding in deeds of great merit, such as the
lives of Washington, Gladstone, Frances E. Willard, and Joan of Arc. The
lives of others have been thought worth narrating because of their great
wickedness, as the lives of Nero and Queen Mary of England.

But the church too has a history. This history differs from the history of
the world, in that it does not record merely the doings of man, but the
workings of God through man as his instruments. God is a jealous God who
manifests himself only through those who are willing to give him all the
glory. Hence not many names of the wise, powerful, talented men of the
earth have been enrolled on the history of the church, since they were not
humble enough to submit fully into God's hands. In the church truly this
scripture has been proved: "God has used the weak things of the world to
confound the mighty."

Sister Mary Cole, of whose life this book is a brief, authentic sketch, had
a natural inheritance that seemed calculated to shut her forever out of a
place in the history of the world or of the church. Born with a body that
from her earliest childhood was racked with pain, deprived by ill health of
education, she seemed naturally unfitted to fill any place in the world and
doomed to be only a burden to herself and her friends. How God took her,
healed her, and fitted her for his service, and how he used her as an
instrument for his glory, is the story of her life.

The publication of the story of her life was so remote from her thoughts
that it was only by the solicitation of some one who had been greatly
helped by her faith and experience and the workings of God through her, and
who was unwilling that her trials and triumphs should be lost as a part of
the history of the church, that she was prevailed upon to write this brief
narrative of her life and work. The story of her life would not, indeed, be
worth telling were it stripped of the manifestations of God's power. As you
read this simple story, you will see clearly that, as Sister Cole has
herself expressed so many times, what she is she is by God's grace, and
that all she has accomplished she has accomplished through God's power. If
you will take at their value the oft-repeated expressions, "God told me,"
"God spoke to me," "God made me to understand," realizing that these words
tell us something that actually happened, you will get some idea of how
marvelously God can use even the weakest members of the human race.

Aside from the interest this brief history will have for those readers who
have had the pleasure of a personal acquaintance with Sister Cole and who
have had the privilege of listening to her stirring messages delivered
under the anointing of God's Spirit, it can not fail to interest and profit
all who take pleasure in reading about the dealings of God with man.

It is the sincere wish of the author and of all those who had a hand in
preparing this work, that it will show some their greater privileges in the
kingdom of God, and that it will help some to covet the divine help,
guidance, and power that are the heritage of all God's children.

J.W.P.




CONTENTS

I. Birth and Ancestry

II. Early Afflictions

III. Incidents of Childhood

IV. Events During the War

V. Conversion and Sanctification

VI. Events of Early Christian Life

VII. My Call to the Ministry

VIII. Seven Years of Preparation

IX. Healed by Divine Power

X. Entering the Gospel Field

XI. Laboring in a New Field

XII. Out of Sectarian Confusion

XIII. The Evening Light

XIV. Various Experiences in Gospel Work

XV. Various Experiences--Continued

XVI. God's Care Over Me

XVII. My California Trip

XVIII. Visiting Relatives in the East

XIX. Mission Work in Chicago

XX. A Battle With Smallpox

XXI. Camp-Meetings in Various States

XXII. Caring for My Aged Mother

XXIII. Exhortation to Workers and Ministers




POEMS

Birthday Lines in Memory of February 5, 1822

The Refiner's Fire




Chapter I

Birth and Ancestry

Like many other people of European descent, born in this country, I can
trace my ancestry back to their emigration from Europe; but being so far
removed from European environment, my nationality can best be expressed by
the short but comprehensive term, American.

My father was born in Hunterdon County, New Jersey. He was a descendant of
the German Hessians who were brought to this country by the English to
fight against the Americans in the Revolutionary War. It is said that from
his mother's side he inherited a small portion of Turkish blood. Father's
childhood days were spent near some of the Revolutionary battle-fields,
where he played with cannon balls that had been used during that great
struggle. Perhaps his early surroundings may have developed in him the
spirit of partiotism that manifested itself later when, during the Civil
War, he stood by his country and defended the stars and stripes.

My mother was born in Ohio near the Pennsylvania border, but was reared in
Carroll County, Ohio.

Her father, whose name was Fleming, was of Scotch-Irish descent. His
ancestors came from Ireland at an early day and settled first in
Pennsylvania, and later in Ohio. When Mother's great-grandfather and his
cousin came over from Ireland and landed in New York, they heard a parrot
talking. It said, "A beggar and a clodhopper; a beggar and a clodhopper."
They had never heard of a parrot before. The great-grandfather said to his
cousin, "Pat, Pat, what kind of a world have we got into? Aven the burds of
the woods are making fun of us."

My mother's mother was of German descent, and could speak the German
language; but she died when mother was but a small child. Very soon
afterward Mother's father married an Irish lady by the name of Margret
Potter. Mother's stepmother took her drams, had dances, etc.; but Mother
was spiritually inclined. In her eighteenth year while attending a
Methodist meeting, she was convicted of her sins. She was not saved at the
meeting, but prayed through by herself to an experience. God revealed
himself to her in a marvelous way and gave her the witness that she was
born of him.

Mother's father was a Universalist until after she was grown. At that time,
although he had never professed a change of heart, he joined the Christian
church. Mother's steady Christian character was, therefore, developed
without human encouragement; she got help from no one but God. Her older
sister said to her one day, "Rebecca, our dear mother died a Universalist;
are you going to forsake her faith?" Mother answered, "If Mother did the
best she knew, that is between her and her God; it is my duty to do the
best I know." Later this sister joined the Catholic Church and finally died
in the Catholic home for widows.

I was born August 23, 1853, the seventh of a family of twelve
children--eight sons and four daughters. Two died before the last two were
born, so that there were never more than ten of us living at the same time.

The oldest child was Jeremiah. Mother said that at his birth she gave him
to the Lord, and prayed earnestly that God would make him like Jeremiah of
old. God chose him for the ministry, and he died triumphant in the faith.
He discerned the one body, the church, from the time the truth of the unity
of God's people was first preached. His body lies in the cemetery near
Hammond, Louisiana.

The second child was John. He enlisted in the army and gave his life for
his country. Out of this family of twelve children, God chose three for the
ministry: one of these has gone to his reward and the other two remain to
work for the Master.

At the time of my birth, my parents lived on a farm adjoining the town of
Decatur, in the State of Iowa. Later the town was enlarged until it
included Father's farm, which was sold for town lots. My parents remained
in Iowa until I was a year old, and then moved to Illinois, where they
remained for two years. When I was three years old, they settled in Pettis
County, Missouri, near the town of Belmont, afterwards called Windsor. It
was there that I spent my childhood and the years of my young womanhood.




Chapter II

Early Afflictions

  "Misery stole me at my birth
  And cast me helpless on the wild."

The words of this hymn express my condition from my first advent into the
world. My mother had overworked before I was born; and, as a result, I
suffered bodily affliction from infancy. I was scarely two years old when I
began having spasms. My eyes would roll back in my head, I would froth at
the mouth, the tendons of my jaws would draw, causing me to bite my cheeks
until the blood ran from my mouth, and I would become unconscious. Although
I would remain unconscious for only a short time, yet while I lay in that
condition I seemed as one dead. Upon regaining consciousness, I seemed
dazed all the rest of that day; and not until I had had a night's sleep,
did I have a clear perception of what was going on around me. Sometimes two
or three days would pass before I was fully restored.

I hada number of these spansm when I was too young to know anything about
them. The first one of which I remember, I begain to turn blind and did not
know what was the matter; but I soon learned the nature of my affliction. I
had to be very careful what I did. If I exposed myself to the direct rays
of the sun or even looked straight at the sun, I was likely to have a
spasm; if I drank sweet milk it was likely to have the same result.

When I quit school at the age of ten years and had nothing to occupy my
mind, my thoughts centered on my suffering and the frequency of my spasms
seemed to increase. After having a spasm my mind was greatly afflicted with
melancholy and depression. I dreaded the recurrence of the fits, and looked
forward to their coming with such abhorrence that often the fear of having
a spasm would bring on the very thing I dreaded.

From the time I can first recollect, most of my life was spent in sadness
and disappointment. It seemed as if my whole being were a mass of suffering
and affliction. The doctor said there was nothing sound about me but my
lungs. Most of my time I appeared to be nothing but a voice. So far as I
remember, not one day of that period of my life was passed without pain and
suffering. My high temper, of course, added mental suffering to the
physical.

Many times I wondered why I could not die. My suffering was greatly
increased by melancholy and mental depression. I often sat beside my mother
and cried, "Mother, why can't I die? Why did I not die when I was a child?
I am a trial to myself and to all around me." Mother would say, "Mary, God
has a bright design in all this. We do not know the reason why you are so
afflicted, but we will know sometime." With such comforting words she many
times soothed my troubled spirit. God blessed me with a dear Christian
mother. Her gentle, patient life--so loving and Christlike--stamped upon my
soul in early childhood the ideal of real Christian character. I had before
me constantly an example of what I ought to be. As I look back at those
days, my association with my mother seems to have been the only bright spot
in my early life.

At six years of age I began to have dyspepsia, and as a result, could eat
but very little food without suffering. Up to this time and later, I could
walk a mile or more; but was liable at any time to have a fit. When about
twelve or thirteen years of age, other afflictions set in, such as spinal
and female trouble.

In my fifteenth year I became a helpless invalid, and lay in bed for five
months at one time. When I first became helpless, I thought I was dying. I
knew if I went into eternity as I then was I would be lost, and suffered
terrible mental anguish. My dear mother came to my bedside with comforting
words: "Mary, put your trust in the Lord." I could move neither hand nor
foot but could only say, "Mother, I am trying to," knowing at the same time
that I was not capable of meeting the conditions--repentance, etc., I
decided that I would not tell Mother nor any one else that I felt that I
was lost, even if I died in that condition; but God in his mercy saw fit to
lengthen out my life.

Viewed from the standpoint of mature life, those early years remind me of
the experience of the Israel-ites when they came to Marah, where the waters
were bitter, and where Moses put something into the bitter waters to make
them sweet. In my unsaved condition, I was at Marah; but when the Lord
saved my soul, he put something into the bitter stream of my life that made
it sweet, and I can truly say, "My December is as pleasant as May: my
summer lasts all the year." Yes, I can now obey God's Word: "Rejoice
evermore; pray without ceasing; and in everything give thanks" (1
Thessalonians 5:14-16). Oh, what a wonderful change God wrought! It is all
through grace divine; for the promise is, "All things work together for
good to them that love God."




Chapter III

Incidents of Childhood

The old home farm near Windsor, Missouri, where I spent my childhood and
early womanhood, was heavily timbered on the west and the south. There was
also a good-sized apple orchard north of the house and a number of
beautiful shade trees in the yard, which gave the place a homelike
appearance. The house was very ordinary--just a large front room, a large
bedroom, an attic large enough for three or four beds, and a large log
kitchen.

In those days, and even until long after the Civil War, the houses were
lighted mostly by candles. The old-fashioned fireplace gave us both light
and heat in the rooms where they were, and made very pleasant the long
winter evenings. Of course, in many ways they were not equal to our modern
improvements, but we had some very happy times around the old fireplace.
Mother made the candles we used, in molds especially designed for that
purpose. I will not soon forget how I used to watch her put in the cotton
wick, tie it at a certain place, and then melt and pour in the tallow. As
soon as the tallow cooled, we had candles. Sometimes when we had no
candles, we used what was called a grease lamp. This was merely a saucer
with a little grease in it and a twisted rag, the greater part of which lay
in the grease in the bottom of the saucer. The end which extended up over
the edge of the saucer was lighted, and this device served as a lamp until
Mother could make more candles.

Near the house was a garden from which Mother used often to gather bouquets
to cheer me in my lonely hours. These loving acts of Mother's meant much to
me in my affliction. Jesus said that the gift of a cup of cold water will
be rewarded. I am sure that Mother's reward will be great.

When I was about five or six years old, an incident occurred which shows
that I, although greatly afflicted, was not altogether wanting in activity.
Two of my older sisters and I were playing on a shed adjoining one side of
the corn-crib. My sisters wanted to jump off the shed, but were a little
afraid to do so for fear they would hurt themselves. They finally decided
that they would have me jump first, and if it did not hurt me, then they
would jump. Little as I was, I understood their scheme. Nevertheless, I
jumped. It hurt me quite a little; but when they asked me if I was hurt, I
said, "No." Thinking then, that it would not hurt them, they jumped but
they were considerably hurt too. Again they asked if it hurt me, and I
admitted that it had. "Why did you not tell us?" "Because," I replied, "you
were playing off on me because I am the youngest, and I would not let you
know, so that you would have a chance to get hurt too."

One morning when I was about six years old, I was going to school in
company with my brothers and sisters and other children who went the same
road. It was late in the fall, and a heavy rain that had recently fallen,
made the narrow lane through which we were obliged to pass, very muddy.
Cattle had made deep tracks in the mud, in which the water had collected
and then frozen. The bubbles underneath the ice had the appearance of
money, and we children ran along looking at the bubbles, and saying "I have
found some money." All at once I was sure that I did see a real coin under
the ice at the bottom of one of the holes. When I called out "I have found
some money," my brothers came quickly to investigate; and, sure enough,
there was a fifty-cent piece stuck to the rim of an old pocket book. It had
lain there so long that the leather had all rotted away. I was so delighted
and spent so much time in enjoying the treasure I had found that I learned
but very little that day.

One of my earliest recollections is of committing these lines to memory:

"In His pure eyes it is a sin To steal a penny or a pin."

Not long after this, when I was about four years old, I think, I went with
my oldest sister to one of our neighbors on an errand. My sister, who could
weave, wanted me to go to the home of another neighbor near by to borrow a
part for the old-fashioned loom she was using. While at the house I saw a
piece of pink calico about an inch square that attracted my childish fancy.
I thought how nice it would be for the little quilt I had begun to piece.
As I had no pocket, I put the piece of calico into the bosom of my dress
and went back to my sister holding it as if I feared it would get away.

Noticing what I was doing, she said, "Mary, what is the matter?" "Nothing,"
I answered. "What have you there?" "Nothing," I replied again. Right there
I told two falsehoods, the first of which I had ever been guilty. They were
like black spots on a white robe. My sister said, "I know you have
something," and drew out my hand still grasping the scrap of calico. "Where
did you get it?" I told the truth then, and she said that I must go back
and tell the woman I had stolen it. She took me back; but she had to do all
the talking.

The old lady wanted to excuse me, and said, "Oh, let her have it; it
dosen't amount to anything"; but my sister said, "No, she shall not have
it, for she did not ask for it." Oh, how awful I felt! It was about a mile
to our house, and I cried nearly the whole way home. On the way I said,
"Ell, don't tell Mother"; and she promised that she would not. I had
experienced now what Paul meant when he said, "Sin revived and I died." It
was the first time in my life I had ever known what guilt was. Reproof
given at the first offense has saved me many temptations in later life.
Only twice afterward do I remember of having had a like temptation.

Perhaps the influence of this incident was strengthened by a story that my
mother related to me while I was still a child. This story made a deep
impression upon my young heart. In Carroll County, Ohio, not far from where
she was raised, there lived two families by the name of Long. The fathers
were brothers. Two boys of the two families used to trap for mink and other
fur-bearing animals during the winter season. As the fur of the mink at
that time brought a good price, the boys were more anxious to catch mink
than any other animal. One of the boys once found a mink in his cousin's
trap. When he told his mother what he had seen, she said, "Go back, take
the mink out of your cousin's trap, set the trap just as it was before, put
the mink into your own trap, and tell your cousin that you have caught a
mink; he will never know the difference."

The boy did as his mother advised, and the cousin never learned of the
deception until many years later. The boy who had stolen the mink went from
bad to worse until, during the outbreak of the Mormons, I think, he was
implicated in the murder of Colonel Davenport of Iowa. While on the
scaffold, he confessed that his first step downward was in taking the mink
out of his cousin's trap and telling a falsehood about it. God's Word was
verified: "For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind."

Parents, be careful what example you set before your children. If you set a
wrong example, they may rise up and curse you: but if you teach them the
good and right way, they will "rise up and call you blessed." If when
parents see one of their children entering upon his first temptation to
take things that do not belong to him, they would do their duty, there
would be more honest children today.  "Train up a child in the way he
should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

From my earliest childhood I liked poetry and could readily commit it to
memory. I often learned poems that were quite difficult for one of my age.
The beautiful poems I learned were like rays of sunshine on my pathway and
added much comfort to a life that had but few pleasures.

I learned the alphabet at home and so made quite rapid progress after I
began attending school, although I was greatly hindered because of
stammering. Some of my teachers were very helpful to me in overcoming this
difficulty. When Mr. Nutter, who taught our school one winter, saw that I
could not recite because of my impediment of speech, he had all the classes
recite with me so as to take away the embarrassment. I felt very grateful
for his kindness.

One day when I was ten years old, I had a fit at school. Father thought
that while I was afflicted in this way, it would be hard on my mind for me
to study, and it would be best to keep me at home. During my last term at
school, I read in McGuffey's Fourth Reader, studied the second part of
Arithmetic, had learned to spell fairly well in the old Elementary Speller,
and had also begun geography--a study which I liked very much. I was
beginning to learn to write; but as I was left-handed, my movements were
very slow and awkward.




Chapter IV

Events During the War

I was eight years old when the Civil War began. The first event that I
remember in connection with the war was our teacher's dismissing school one
day so that we might go over to the public road to see the Union soldiers.
I suppose there were at least a regiment of these troops, if not more. As I
had never seen soldiers before, their fine appearance as they marched by,
dressed in their uniforms, with their guns, bayonets, drums, and full
military equipment, made a lasting impression on my childish mind.

At the beginning of the war, my father wished to move from the State where
we were then living. Missouri was a slave State and he knew that there was
trouble ahead. Perhaps father would have had his way, had not God shown
mother in a dream that he would protect us, and that we would be as safe in
Missouri as in any other place. Subsequent events proved that we did well
to obey God, for none of our stock or property was taken. The deaths of my
brother and sister were the most severe trials through which we had to
pass.

In January, 1862, the Federal soldiers again came to our neighborhood and
camped near the same place where I had first seen them; but, at this time,
the scene excited in me entirely different emotions. Snow was on the
ground; the weather was very cold; and the soldiers took rails and made a
large bonfire to keep themselves warm. The sky was lit up with the flames,
and to me, in my nervous condition, the scene was frightful.

That same evening some of the soldiers went down to our little town (then
called Belmont, afterwards Windsor), brought back to the camp with them the
hollow trunk of a tree containing a swarm of bees, and laid it down to take
out the honey. Mrs. Hammond, the wife of our nearest neighbor on the east,
who lived but a short distance from the camp, thinking that they were
planting a cannon, became frightened and came over to our house with her
two little children. She was afraid there was going to be a battle, and
sought our house as a place of safety. She wanted to stay all night. Father
pitied her; and in spite of the fact that the children were sick with
diphtheria, he felt that he could not turn her out.

Thus we children were all exposed to diphtheria; and as my nerves were in
such a bad condition, and as I was greatly frightened because of the news
from the camp and the presence of the sick children, I was the first victim
of the disease. The next to take it was my sister Katherine. Just before
she took her bed, she got her feet wet, and therefore had the disease in a
very malignant form. The doctor who was caring for her, assured us that she
was better, but he told some of the neighbors that she could not live until
morning. We did not know that she was seriously ill until Father, who was
sitting up with her that night, said, "Katy, it's time to take your
medicine." There was no answer; her gentle spirit had taken its flight.

The thought that my sister was dead was almost more than I could endure.
The thought that she was gone into eternity, that I would never meet her
again in this world, almost broke my heart. I wept for hours at a time. I
would sit beside my mother weeping and wondering why my sister had been
taken. It seemed that I could never forgive the doctor for deceiving us;
and I think I never did fully forgive him, until the time when God pardoned
my sins and gave me a forgiving spirit. Dear little sister Katherine! She
was twelve years and six months old when she died. She was an unusual
child--patient and kind--was never known to disobey her parents, and was
loved by all.

The other members of the family took the diphtheria one by one, until all
but my father and one brother had this awful disease. Some of us were sick
for nearly two months and during this time none of the neighbors, except
Daniel Douglas, our nearest neighbor on the west, came to lend any
assistance. He came over and sat up a part of every other night when the
sick ones were at their worst, and needed the most care. Even the woman who
brought the disease to us refused to help, until she was compelled to do so
by Mr. Douglas; and then she only helped to prepare Katherine's body for
burial. It certainly was a sad time. Even nature seemed to cast a gloom
over everything--much sleet fell, and everything had a dismal appearance.

It was during the war and sometime before Katherine's death that Mr.
Hammond used to cross our orchard going to and from his work. One day
Father said to one of the Hammond children, "Come over and get some apples
to eat"; to which the child answered, "Oh, Papa brings us all the apples we
want to eat. He gets them out of your orchard."

One day while my brother Harvey was passing through the orchard, he saw an
apple caught in the fork of two limbs. Supposing that the apple had fallen
from the tree and accidently lodged there, he ate it, and soon began to
feel very sick. The doctor found upon examination that the boy was
suffering from strychnine poisoning. From remarks that had been dropped, we
thought we knew that a certain neighbor had poisoned the apple and that he
had done it for spite. A visitor at our house remarked that she feared that
the Union soldiers, who were then encamped near her home, would in their
absence from home, get the strychnine they had bought for the rats and
poison their meal or their water before they got home again. My brother
suffered from the effects of the strychnine he had taken for a number of
years before he fully recovered.

The husband of the woman of whom I have just spoken was a soldier in the
Southern army. One time while he was out foraging, he went into a Union
woman's house and asked for a pie. Finding out that she had her pies hidden
under the puncheon floor, he raised a plank and proceeded to help himself.
The woman, seeing her opportunity, threw the plank onto his neck and jumped
on the plank. The man got a furlough, came home, and was confined to his
bed for some time. It was reported about the neighborhood that he had a
spell of fever.

The woman who brought the diphtheria to us sought our house as a place of
refuge, because the house being "low and in a low place" the cannon balls
would pass over it. After the Lord saved me, this incident came to my mind
as a lesson in humility. "Low and in a low place." If we as God's servants
keep humble and in a low place, the enemy may hurl his darts and shoot his
cannon balls: they will go over us and will not harm us. If we don't want
to be disturbed or crippled by the enemy of our souls, we should keep low
at the feet of Jesus where he can continually shelter us. "He that dwelleth
in the secret place of the most high, shall abide under the shadow of the
Almighty."

Some time after these events the Southern soldiers, commonly known as
"bushwhackers," came into our neighborhood and camped in the woods. One
evening as it was growing dusk, my oldest sister and the one next older
than I went after water to a well half way between our house and the house
of our nearest neighbor on the west. From this well both families used
water. The girls had to go down a steep hill to get to the well; and as
they came back to the brow of the hill, they found our dog lying dead.
While the girls were at the well, the soldiers had no doubt killed the dog
with a club, as no one heard a gun fired. My sisters went home with the
water and then went back to investigate; they wanted to be sure that it was
our dog that had been killed. They heard men in the brush near the place
where the dog was lying, and being very young and not realizing their
danger, they talked rather loudly and boisterously, saying that if they
could see the men in the brush, they would shoot them with their fingers.
The crackling in the brush indicated that the men were very near.

That night a large number of these bushwhackers entered our neighbor's
house and stole bonds, notes, and clothing estimated to be worth $2000. Mr.
Douglas had just been to Sedalia, where he had procured a good supply of
clothing. The soldiers pointed Mr. Douglas's own gun, which had never been
known to miss fire before, at his head; but it failed to go off. Our house
was not molested. The next day these same men caught one of Mr. Douglas's
boys, made him take off his shoes, hat, and all his other clothing, except
his underwear, and turned him loose. In this condition, he had to go about
a quarter of a mile before reaching home.

It was probably some time after these events that the bushwhackers came to
our house and wanted Mother to cook a meal for a dozen men. Mother was
hardly able to be out of bed, but my sister Mehala, thinking that they were
Union soldiers, said, "Mother, I can cook for them." "Well, Mehala," Mother
said, "if you can, you may go ahead." Mother helped all she could. They
baked two large pones of corn-bread in the oldfashioned fireplace and fried
plenty of fresh beef. Although the soldiers had ordered food for a dozen
men, only two of them came. One of them took the provisions and the other
guarded the house until he thought we would have no chance to report them.
Then they went to the home of a neighbor and with much bad language said
that Mother was Union and therefore pretended to be sick and did not want
to cook for them.

During the war, things we had to buy were very high and things we had to
sell brought only a trifle. Father sold corn to the Union soldiers for 25
cents a bushel. In imagination I can see the government wagons coming to
haul the corn away to their camp. The beds of the wagons were somewhat like
those used today, only they sloped outward on either side until they would
hold more than twice as much as our ordinary farm wagons.

At that time, flour cost $10.00 and upward, a barrel, calico from 35 to 45
cents a yard, and cotton yarn from $9.00 to $11.00 a bunch. This quantity
of yarn would make only about 25 yards of jeans. Mother did her own
spinning and weaving until some years after the war. We sheared our own
sheep, washed and picked the wool, and sent it to the carding machine,
where it was made into rolls. Then Mother and my older sister, who was
nearly grown, spun the yarn and wove it into jeans and linsey, and also
into flannel and blankets. Mother made all the clothing for the
family--underwear, pants, vests, coats, and even overcoats. I well remember
the old loom and spinning wheel and the little wheel on which I used to
quill for my sister while she wove. Small as I was, I had learned to knit.
I knit mittens for the soldiers, for which I got 50 cents a pair at
Sedalia, the nearest army post, twenty miles away.

In the early part of the war Father was a militiaman. At one time he came
very near being accidently killed in his own orchard by some of his own
men. Some Federal soldiers who were passing came into our orchard, and
seeing Father at a distance, thought he was a Southerner. Father, seeing
his danger, started to run; but one of the soldiers who was near enough to
recognize him, cried, "Cole, don't run or they'll shoot you"; but Father
thought he said, "Cole run or they'll shoot you." Finally they got him to
understand what they meant, and his life was saved.

I am not sure how near to our home actual fighting occurred. There were no
battles fought nearer than Lone Jack. A number of our neighbors, however,
were shot down in their own dooryards by those of the other side. One of
our neighbors who favored the South but who was willing to be anything for
the sake of safety, got fooled three times in one day. When the Confederate
soldiers came along, he thought they were Federals and professed to be a
Union man; and then when the Federal soldiers came by he thought they were
Confederates and told them he favored the South. When his own men came by
again, they took his property because he had lied to them. His wife
followed the soldiers pleading, begging, and crying, until they gave up the
property. In his case, lies did not prove to be a satisfactory refuge.

At Cole Camp, about twenty-five miles from our place lived some
Germans--good honest people, who had worked hard and had gotten quite a bit
of property together. These thrifty farmers were not disturbing either
side, but some men around Windsor, who called themselves "Home Guards,"
went down to Cole Camp, killed these inoffensive Germans, stamped their
heads with their boot-heels, took all of their goods that they could carry
away, while the poor wives were begging for the lives of their companions.
Then these miscreants returned to Windsor and divided the spoil. One of my
brothers, a mere boy, who was working for one of the "Home Guards,"
overheard his employer quarreling with another man over the division of the
booty.

Before the "Home Guards" started on this raid, a preacher named Pierce, of
the M. E. South denomination, prayed for their success. After their return,
my father overheard him and one of the raiders talking. Father overheard
this man tell Pierce that his brother had killed nine Germans and stamped
them on the head with his boot heel. Upon hearing this the preacher,
throwing back his head, laughed heartily. He seemed to enjoy the story very
much. Up until this time Father was a member of the M. E. South
denomination; but after overhearing this conversation he no longer
professed to be one of them. It has often been remarked that war makes men
wicked; but Mother used to say that usually the wickedness was in the men
already and that war merely gave them a chance to put their wickedness on
exhibition. Boys, of course, were especially demoralized by soldier-life,
coming in contact as they did with so many wicked influences.

In the early part of the war, both Father and my second brother, John,
joined the militia, which was later disbanded. Before the war closed,
Father reached his 45th year and after that was too old to go as a soldier.
John was quite patriotic and wanted to enlist for regular service.
Nevertheless, he and my oldest brother went to Illinois to attend school.
When they started, Mother said, "John, don't enlist in the army any more."
"Mother," he answered, "I won't unless they draft me; but if they draft I
will volunteer, for I don't like the treatment of a drafted soldier."

Soon a rumor came that a draft was to be made, on purpose, I suppose, to
"beat up" volunteers. So to avoid being drafted, my brother volunteered. He
had been exposed to the measles shortly before his enlistment, but supposed
that when he joined the army he would get a furlough for at least twenty
days. He was disappointed: next day they got marching orders. He took the
measles, had to go out on duty when not able, took cold, and soon died with
congestion of the lungs. His body lies in the soldiers' graveyard at
Chattanooga, Tenn.

About the year 1894, I think, while my youngest brother and I were out in
gospel work, the Lord greatly burdened my heart to pray for Mother's
support. My brother and I were supposed to help provide for her; and at
this time Mother was especially in need, although I did not know it. The
Lord showed me that I should save up what I had on hands for Mother's
support until I should reach home, and that if I did not I would feel very
sorry.

I did as God directed. When I reached home, Mother began to tell me of the
poor crops and other drawbacks and what a hard time they had had. I told
her I was glad to see that she had salvation, even if she did not have much
of this world's goods, for I had seen many people with much of this world's
goods, but with no experience of salvation, and they were in worse
condition than she. I was still burdened to pray the Lord to supply
Mother's needs; not only for the present, but while she lived.

When, after about three weeks' visit at home, I started again in the gospel
work, I gave Mother all the change I had to spare. As I did so, she looked
at me with tears running down her cheeks and said, "Mary, I don't want to
take this; the cause needs it so badly." "Mother," I said, "you are a part
of the cause." She laughed and cried but took the money. Shortly after this
I got a postal card from my brother at home, saying that he had news from
Washington, that Mother had been granted a pension because of my brother
John's death during the Civil War. For three years she had been trying to
get this pension and had about given up hope of ever receiving it. Mother
received $400.00 back pension and $12.00 a month for the remainder of her
life. The Lord showed me that my prayer was answered for Mother's support,
and the burden left me.




Chapter V

Conversion and Sanctification

A few years after I became a helpless invalid, I was somewhat wrought upon
by the Spirit of God, but had no advice as to what I should do. I joined
the M. E. Church on probation, although I was yet unsaved. The minister who
received me into the church, did not inquire whether I was saved or not,
nor did he ask about my spiritual welfare.

In my nineteenth year I was convicted of my sins, after the following
circumstance: I was having a quarrel with one of my younger brothers. We
were both high-spirited and each wanted to have his own way. While the
quarrel was in progress, Mother came on the scene, and what she heard was
enough to make her heart ache. "Mary, why don't you set a better example?"
"Mother," I said, "he commenced on me first. If you make him behave
himself, I will behave." "Mary, I am afraid you children will never stop
your quarreling until you land in perdition; and if I were out of the way,
you would soon be there. You act just as if you wanted me out of the way."
I saw her standing there as pale as a corpse with the big tears rolling
down her face. She was always pale in those days. I said, "Mother, don't
break my heart." "Mary," said she, "you broke my heart first." "Mother,
won't you forgive me?" "Yes," she answered, "I forgive you; but there is
one higher than I whom you have offended, and you will have to ask his
forgiveness."

Up to that time I was not under conviction, but the Lord now began to
answer the prayer of my oldest brother, who had been praying for my
conviction. That same evening I went into the garden, and earnestly asked
the Lord to convict me of my sins. I remember now that he had convicted me
in the past but that I had resisted until conviction left me. I said to the
Lord, "I will not fight conviction now if it kills me right on the spot."
The Lord took me at my word; he knew I meant what I said with all my heart.
I arose from my knees, and walked toward the house, with such a deep
realization of God's displeasure on my lost soul that it seemed as if the
earth would open and swallow me up. I shall never forget that awful
experience. I think I fully comprehended God's displeasure against
rebellious souls, but in his wrath he remembered mercy, and I found myself
seeking God with all my heart. I could not weep, but my heart was sincere
and deeply determined to seek God until I should know that I was saved.

I did not find the Lord at once and the enemy brought discouragement
against my soul. I was just about to come to the conclusion that I would
seek God only a week, and that if I did not find him then I would quit. But
as I walked through the front room, I noticed an old Methodist hymn-book
lying on the stand. I opened it and as God would have it, my eyes fell on
these lines: "And will you basely to the tempter yield?" Going to the
kitchen where Mother was washing, I said, "Mother, there is a hymn in this
book that ought to be torn out." She said, "Why, Mary?" After I had read
the line to her she said, "Mary, can't you adopt the next line as yours?
'No, in the strength of Jesus, no, I never will give up my shield.'" I
decided then and there to seek God until the day of my death, or until I
found him.

My oldest brother and I went to prayer. He asked me to pray, but all I have
ever remembered saying is, "Lord have mercy on me. Lord hear me." He said,
"Mary, the Lord does have mercy on you and the Lord does hear you, or you
could not have prayed as you have been praying." He asked me whether I was
willing to live or die for the Lord; and I said, "I am willing to live, but
I am not willing to die in this condition," He replied, "All the Lord wants
is your will. He will not let you die in this condition when you want to
get saved." But I still persisted that I wasn't willing to die in that
condition.

Then the enemy tried to bring confusion upon me. The burden of my guilt was
all gone and the devil suggested that I was worse than I had thought, that
my heart was so hard I could not mourn for my sins any more. Howbeit, the
dear Lord came to my rescue. He reminded me that my repentance was genuine,
and therefore accepted by him; and that all he required of me was to
exercise faith in his promises, and that if I could not do that
immediately, I could begin to quote his word, "Lord, I believe; help thou
my unbelief." I kept repeating that declaration and prayer all day long and
until late in the afternoon.

I got hold of a little tract in which God's promises were simplified; for
instance, "He is our light in darkness; our wisdom in ignorance; our
counsellor in perplexity." I said, "Lord, I am perplexed: the burden of
guilt is gone and I can't mourn any more, but I can't say that I am saved."
Mother had said that the Lord had shown her that she was saved, and I felt
sure that as God is no respecter of persons, he must show me that I was
saved too. I could not be satisfied short of that; so I said, "Lord, I take
thee as my counsellor in perplexity." Then I repeated, "Lord, I believe;
help thou my unbelief." Before the sentence had dropped from my lips, I
said, "Lord, I know; Lord, I know."

I can not tell you how happy I was. I arose from my knees, started out of
my chamber and to my surprise met the brother with whom I had quarreled. "O
Oliver," I said, "the Lord has had mercy on me and saved me." I shall never
forget that day. It was May 3, 1871.

Up to that time I had not opened my heart to my father concerning my soul's
condition and needs, as he was not living a satisfactory life himself, but
when I went to the supper table, I was so happy that I said, "O Father,
help me praise the Lord." Not knowing how my soul had been longing for God
and a new life, he said, "Mary, what has broken loose?" I answered, "I
can't praise Him enough; I want you to help me praise him." I was too happy
to eat supper, and so went out into the yard and walked up and down
praising the Lord to my soul's content.

I might say here, it was not fear of everlasting punishment that caused me
to seek God, but a good faithful mother's love. I did not want to grieve
her heart and as I could not keep from doing so without help from above, I
sought salvation with this end in view. At this time there came very
forcibly to me the scripture about Mary's anointing the Lord before his
burial. I decided that she should be my example. I would give Mother some
of the flowers of my experience, and not wait until after she was dead and
buried. Had I waited to strew flowers over her grave, I would have expected
to hear people say, "She is nothing but a hypocrite. She did not treat her
mother right while she was living, and now she is trying to make a show."
Let us take a lesson from Mary of old--give flowers to the living; but if
we have no flowers, let us see to it that we do not give thorns. It was
thorns that the enemies of Christ placed upon his brow in mockery.

Later I found that there was something in me that did not want to treat
Mother just right--a disposition arising in my heart to disobey her. I felt
that this grieved the Lord; and I went and asked him to forgive me. One day
I said, "Mother, I am going to set down on paper a record of every day that
I keep from getting mad." As I had a very high temper, Mother thought it
very foolish for me to undertake such a record. Nevertheless, day after day
went by in which I did not become angry, until a month had elapsed; I had
not been angry for a month.

Just a month after I was saved, my oldest brother, who was a minister, came
with a message on the subject of sanctification. He explained the doctrine
to Mother and me and showed us our privilege of attaining to this grace.
Before noon of that day we made a complete consecration for time and for
eternity, grasped the promises, and both of us received the experience. I
am sure that my consecration was made in great ignorance; but the Lord
understood that I was sincere, and graciously granted me the experience.
When I received the sanctifying grace, I did not think of demonstration, or
of great feeling, or of anything of that kind: I simply consecrated all a
living sacrifice, and reckoned myself dead indeed unto sin and alive unto
God through our Lord Jesus Christ. I met the conditions and believed that
the work was done.

Not until the tempter came, did I fully realize what God had done in
sanctifying me. That evening the devil tested me in such a way that had
there been any of the old Adam in me, it would have been stirred up; but,
thank God! the devil found nothing to work upon. God had removed that
depraved nature, the sin-principle inherited from the fall of Adam. As
there was nothing but God's glory in my soul, nothing but glory could
bubble up, no matter how severe the temptation. I felt so secure--just as
if I were out in mid-ocean upon a solid rock, the waves dashing all around
me, but powerless to disturb my security and the peace of my soul.

Soon after I was sanctified, I testified to my experience, in a Methodist
quarterly meeting. The presiding elder made fun of me: he said, "The
testimonies of those that claim to be sanctified, sound just like the tones
of an old cracked cow-bell. There was only one good testimony made this
evening; and that was by one who did not profess sanctification." My only
persecution at home came from a neighbor who made fun of my prayers. Her
oft-repeated expression was, "Pray like old Mary Cole." Later when her
grandchild lay dying, she called on me to pray four times within
twenty-four hours. After the child was dead, she said she was hurt because
I did not pray for the child's healing, because she was sure that if I had
done so the child would have lived.

A minister who came onto our circuit some time after this decided that
those who had the experience of sanctification should not testify to it. He
gave as his reason that he wanted to bring the people to a level in their
experiences; in other words, he wanted to bring the sanctified ones down to
lift the justified ones up, until they would all be on an equality in
experience. Two sisters who were sanctified, came to me and said, "Sister
Cole, we have come to the conclusion that we won't testify to
sanctification this year, lest we offend the minister." I replied, "If the
minister is going to oppose sanctification, so much the more will I testify
to it throughout the year." I did so, and God wonderfully blessed me. These
women stopped testifying to please the preacher; and before the year was
out, they and the preacher were having trouble.

After I was sanctified, I was so happy and victorious in my soul, that I
wanted to tell my experience to others. At one time I was talking to a lady
old enough to be my grandmother, telling her how happy I was, and how I
enjoyed the fulness of God's blessing. She seemed to appreciate my story
greatly; but after I got through, the thought came to me that she would
think that I felt myself important in trying to instruct one so much older
than myself.

Although I did not know it at the time, this was the enemy whispering to
me. I apologized to her for saying anything about my experience: "You must
not get hurt at me because I have talked so to you, but I am very happy in
the Lord." Looking at me steadily she said, "You are not worth getting hurt
over." I saw the point. This was God's reproof. I learned my lesson; and so
far as I know, I have never made an apology for what the Lord has done for
me.




Chapter VI

Events of Early Christian Life

One day soon after I was saved, I felt God stirring within me, and gave
vent to my happy soul by praising his precious name aloud. This seemed to
disturb Father, and he commanded me to be quiet. But God stirred me up more
and more, until my soul seemed to roar like a lion, and I quoted the
following scripture to Father: "If these should hold their peace, the
stones would immediately cry out." This looked like disobedience to my
father; but the outcome seemed to show that God was leading me, for Father
calmed down and did not again interfere with my praising the Lord.

Not long after I was sanctified, I received my first light on the subject
of dress. One Sunday morning while at the Methodist meeting listening to a
sermon, a voice began to talk to my soul: "You profess to be sanctified,
living a holy life, and yet your head-dress shows conformity to the world."
These words did not come from the pulpit either: nothing was being preached
against dress or worldly conformity. Sunday after Sunday the same still,
small voice talked to me in this way, until I hardly knew what to do.

Finally I said to myself, "I shall not allow my conscience to be tortured
in this way any more." Early Monday morning, therefore, as soon as I had an
opportunity,  I took the flowers off my hat, as they were what the Holy
Spirit had been pointing out to me. My Mother, who was sitting by, said,
"Mary, what are you doing?" I said, "I am taking these flowers off." "What
are you doing that for?" she inquired. "Because," I answered, "I do not
want them on." I did not explain matters to her just then. She replied,
"That is just a foolish notion of yours. You will soon want the flowers on
again." "No, Mother," I answered, "I never will."

So I took the flowers off and put them into the vase where we kept our
winter bouquet. As I did so, the voice of God said, "If you do not want to
be tempted in this matter again, put those flowers into the fire." I
immediately obeyed, and from that day to this I have never been tempted to
restore the flowers to my hat.

About ten years later while I was holding my first meeting at Salisbury,
Missouri, I saw a number of young ladies who were dressed so saintlike, and
in a manner so becoming to holy lives, that I was convicted immediately for
plainness of dress. Some of the sisters who were gospel teachers, came to
me at the close of the service, saying that they would like to have a talk
with me. I thought I knew what they wanted to say, because God had already
been talking to me on the same subject. I was not mistaken. "As you profess
to be a holiness teacher," said they, "you ought to be an example in
plainness of dress." I told them that I had no plain dresses. All I had
were virtually a display of ruffles, flounces, "pin-backs" and "tuck-ups."
They then inquired if I would be pleased to have them help me make my
clothes over. I told them, "Certainly I would, but some of my dresses are
so cut up that they couldn't be made over." I was very thankful when an
opportunity was offered to make my clothes plain. God had already given me
an understanding of his will in regard to dress; and it was not only easy
for me to obey, but a pleasure also.

It was not so very long after this--while I was in my second meeting at
Sturgeon, Mo.--that a minister handed me some money for my personal use.
Soon afterwards his wife came and said that the Lord had shown her that she
must give me something too. As this was the first money that had been
handed me, I hardly knew what to do; but I accepted it. Then the sister
said, "Now, Sister Cole, I will take the money my husband has given you and
what I have given, and will buy the goods for a plain dress for you. I will
see that it is made plain and neat, and so that it will fit you." How glad
I was when I got that dress! Only once after that was I tempted to build
again what I had destroyed. Then I got a dress and trimmed it with lace,
but I could not wear it that way at all. That was my last temptation to try
to dress in style.

About nine o'clock one evening in the month of December, of the year I was
saved, Mother and I were in the kitchen. I was down on my knees mixing some
sausage-meat in a vessel, when all at once I looked up and saw a very
bright light, which seemed to be moving very rapidly. "Mother," said I,
"what makes that light?" My first thought was that some of my younger
brothers were carrying a light and trying to scare us; but when I saw that
the light was so strong and moving so fast, I felt sure that I was
mistaken. By this time mother was standing in the door and calling, "Mary,
come quick and you can see what is causing the light." What I saw, was a
large ball of fire. Starting from the west, or a little north of west, it
moved southeast at a high rate of speed.

When we first saw the ball, about two-thirds of it was hidden behind the
horizon, and we gazed at it until it went out of sight. Perhaps our
imaginations worked upon our senses; but it seemed that sparks of fire flew
back from the ball. In two or three minutes after the ball disappeared,
there was a terrible trembling of the earth as if there had been a small
earthquake. Probably the ball struck with such force that it shook the
earth. This sight was witnessed by people in different states.

My feelings at the time of this incident made me think how poor sinners
will feel in the day of judgment when they will be standing awaiting their
doom, knowing that the wrath of God rests upon them, and that they are
without hope. Far more terrifying things than the passing of a comet will
be happening then; and many will be crying for the rocks and mountains to
fall on them to hide them from the presence of him that liveth and reigneth
forever. I confess, that though I was saved, I trembled at seeing that ball
of fire in its weird passage. I thought that if this little incident had
such an effect upon one who was saved and ready to meet God, what a far
more terrible spectacle would the day of judgment be to those who were not
ready.

One fall, not long after I was saved, the grasshoppers came to our part of
the country, and laid their eggs, and in the spring the young grasshoppers
hatched out by the million. There were so many grasshoppers and they
destroyed the vegetation so rapidly that people began to fear a famine. The
governor of the State proclaimed a day of fasting and prayer, and many
people gathered at the different houses of worship to plead with the Lord
to stay the plague. Even hardhearted sinners left their work and came to
these meetings. God heard our petitions, and in three days the grasshoppers
were gone. Then some of the unsaved people said, "Oh, well, the
grasshoppers would have gone anyway. They just stayed until their wings
were grown: they would have gone without prayer." Thus they dishonored God.
We had an excellent crop that year--much better than usual; but when
Thanksgiving time came, many of those who were at the fast-day meeting had
no time to come and thank the Lord for his mercies.

Just when the grasshoppers were at their worst, my mother was making
garden. Some one said, "You would better not make garden because the
grasshoppers will eat it up." "Oh, well," she replied, "I am going to plant
it anyway and trust it with the Lord. 'They that sow in hope shall be
partaker of their hope.'" Mother did not fight the grasshoppers at all; she
just trusted the Lord.

A number of people had great battles with the grasshoppers. I remember a
doctor's wife who came to her death because of overheating herself in her
exertions to keep the grasshoppers from getting her garden. Near one side
of Mother's garden there was a patch of fennel. Mother saw the grasshoppers
in the garden but they did not seem to take anything but the weeds. Then
they moved out into the patch of fennel, stripped it of all its leaves, and
left only the stems standing. I do not think Mother ever had a better
garden; some of her vegetables were especially fine. "They that trust the
Lord shall not be confounded."

  "Blind unbelief is sure to err,
  And scan his work in vain;
  God is his own interpreter,
  And he will make it plain."




Chapter VII

My Call to the Ministry

When I was about twenty-two years of age, I attended a camp-meeting held by
a number of different denominations. One night, while at this meeting, I
awoke and became conscious that God was calling me to get up and to go
outside the tent to pray. As I obeyed the voice of the Lord, I became
conscious of his awful presence and remembered what he said to Moses: "Put
thy shoes from off thy feet, for the ground whereon thou standest is holy
ground." God then called to my remembrance how he had been leading me for
sometime to pray in secret for many different persons and interests, and
made me to understand that he wanted me to exercise myself in that way at
this time also.

After I had prayed for everything I could think of, the Lord burdened me to
pray again, although it seemed that I had no other language in which to
express my petition. The Lord would in a special manner send down the glory
in my soul and, at every repeated petition, fill me more and more with his
presence. This was done at least three times. Then he confronted me with
this question, "Will you consecrate yourself to go out as a life-worker for
me?" "Lord," I cried, "I thought I consecrated myself all to you when I was
sanctified." "Yes, you did, but not as a life-worker," was his answer;
although, of course, this was included in the "all things" that I
consecrated to the Master.

Although I realized that God was talking to me, yet I began making excuses:
"Lord, I am not talented; my education is so meagre; there is no one to go
with me; and, besides, I have a stammering tongue." God cut my excuses
short with, "Who made man's mouth? I gave Moses Aaron as his spokesman; but
I will do a better part by you, I will go with you myself." Praise the
Lord! Throughout the years that I have worked for him, this promise has
been fulfilled.

Again, when the devil suggested that I had no means of traveling, the Lord
brought to my mind this scripture, "Yea, the Almighty shall be thy defense,
and thou shalt have plenty of silver." For every excuse I made, the Lord
had a scripture, until I felt as did Job, that when the Almighty speaks, "I
will lay mine hand upon my mouth." So I submitted and consented to obey
God.

I now suppose that I was ready to go back to bed; but the Lord began to
talk to me again. He showed me that he wanted me to pray still more. As I
began again to pour out my heart to him, he seemed just to pour the glory
into my soul and to press it down until he saw, I suppose, that I was ready
to hear his plan for me--a plan that I had not yet contemplated. When he
said to me therefore, "Go preach my gospel," I was astonished beyond
measure. Oh, it was all so new! I made excuses; but again he gave Scripture
to offset every excuse--and all so comforting and strengthening--that I
submitted to his will. I went to bed almost overwhelmed by the glory of
God.

Next day I thought that as I had been blessed in learning God's will
concerning me, others would be rejoiced too, to hear me relate my
experience. But when I began to tell publicly how God had talked to my
soul, to my surprise, it stirred up a spirit of jealousy in some and before
night the devil tried to carry out his design to defeat the Lord's plan in
regard to me. The devil began by starting a wicked falsehood against me and
thus, almost crushing the life out of me. I did not understand the devil's
cunning way and did not know how to lean on God, it was a dark hour for me.
I remembered how the enemies of Moses tried to slay him when he was a
child, and how the Jews tried to destroy our Savior when he was a little
babe. God proved himself and protected me; he lifted me above all my
persecutions and made me more than a conqueror. I had learned the useful
lesson to let the Lord be my defense and not to try to defend myself.

On my return home, when I told my class-leader how God had revealed his
will to me concerning my future, he said, "You are a pretty looking thing
to be called to preach." I thought so too; but to excuse myself, for I
hardly knew what to say, I replied, "I do not believe that every one called
to preach will have to stand in the pulpit: a person may preach by his life
and conduct." Mother was the only other person to whom I told the story of
my call, until I began my ministry.



Chapter VIII

Seven Years of Preparation

Although God had given me a very clear, definite call to the ministry, and
had made very plain his purpose in regard to me, yet he did not immediately
send me out to preach the gospel. Nearly seven years elapsed between the
call and the sending--years in which the Lord led me and in which occurred
a number of incidents that had a very important influence on my life. These
together with some other incidents connected with them, which occurred in
after years, will be related in this chapter.

About the time of my call to the ministry, but whether shortly before or
soon afterwards, I do not remember, I was again confined to my bed from
September to March. During a part of this time I was entirely helpless; but
oh, with how much greater fortitude did I bear my sickness now than I did
in my fifteenth year! God in his infinite love and mercy had brought about
a wonderful change. Instead of being tortured and tormented, and in
desperation wishing myself dead, the nearer I approached death, the happier
I became. At times it seemed that the angels were hovering over me. One
night I dreamed that my time had come and that I swooned away, falling into
my sister's arms. I thought I heard Sister say, "Mother, she is dying."
"Sister," I asked, "do you call this death?" "Yes," was the reply. "If this
is death," I answered, "I could die always; it is so sweet, so heavenly, so
satisfying."

But my couch at this time was not altogether a bed of roses. I suffered
greatly and was easily discouraged. I realized that I needed much help and
wished that God would in some way send me consolation. The voice of God's
Spirit spoke directly to my soul, "If I send you consolation in a dream,
will you accept it?" I answered, "Yes, Lord, any way."

That night I dreamed that I was in Father's yard, under a shade tree.
Looking around me, I saw some things that were not pleasant; but when it
occurred to me to look at myself, I found that I was robed in pure white.
My soul was stirred as by heavenly music. Although I had never been able to
sing, yet now I felt as though I could not keep from trying. My voice rang
out like the clear notes of a nightingale; and all at once I was joined by
a myriad of heavenly voices. The air was full of music. Peal after peal of
the heavenly anthem struck upon my ear, and in my dream I exclaimed, "Is
heaven so near the earth as this? Surely I hear the angels singing! Such
music I have never heard upon earth!" Then I awoke with this scripture
sounding in my ears: "The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that
fear him and delivereth them." Without a doubt, the angels were around me.
The strength and comfort I received in my soul that night were like
Elijah's meal, in the strength of which he went forty days. Even now, the
thought of my experience sends a thrill of heavenly encouragement to my
soul.

One evening when I was about twenty-three years old, we were having family
worship, and all the saved members of the family had prayed; I felt
impressed that if we should have a second season of prayer, God would do
something unusual for us. As the different members of the family were
praying the second time, my youngest Brother, George, ten years old, was
being deeply wrought upon by the Spirit of God. He arose from his knees and
started to my chair. As he was in his stocking feet, and moved noiselessly
across the floor, nobody saw him. Before he got to my chair his heart
failed him, and he went back to where he had been kneeling. Again the
Spirit of God worked upon his heart stronger than before; he came to where
I was kneeling and said, "Mary, I want to be saved too." We immediately
called upon God in his behalf; the Lord wonderfully saved him; and after
that he took part in family worship.

God had now given me such a love for my younger brothers that when they got
into their little troubles they would come to me for help and consolation,
as Mother with her large family and many cares had but little time to
devote to their spiritual welfare. This small burden that God placed on me
was doubtless for my good. When the boys got into little quarrels, they
would come to me, and I would say to them, "Do you know the scripture,
'Only by pride cometh contention'?" "Yes." "Do you know what the matter is
then?" "Yes, I am up a little." "Do you know what you have to do?" "Yes, to
get down." And soon their difficulty would be settled. God wonderfully
blessed my soul in thus helping my younger brothers; and all unaware to
myself, I was being prepared for my future work.

I believe that I, as much as most children, always honored my father; and,
after I was saved, I believe I honored him as much as God required. In the
incidents I am now about to relate, I mean to cast no reflection upon the
memory of my father, now many years gone to his final reward; but I tell
them that they may prove a blessing to others.

My father was not living a Christian life satisfactory even to himself;
and, as a result, the enemy could at times use him as his instrument.
Nervous and afflicted as I was in my childhood days, I was afraid of Father
when he yielded to the enemy; but after I was saved the Lord gave me much
help on this line. At times however, when Father was much under the
influence of the enemy, the trials were so severe that Mother and I
frequently had to seek God for help two or three times a day. The Lord
always came to our rescue and lifted us above the trial. When Father showed
his better self, he was very dear to all of us.

When my brother Harley was about fourteen years of age, he was saved and
living as true a Christian life as one would expect of a boy his age. It
seemed at this time that the enemy was especially operating through Father
to crush and discourage the child. God stirred up my soul to protect him
and to keep him from giving way entirely. One day Harley went on an errand
for Father and the mule that he rode accidentally got his ankle hurt. When
he returned, Father was very much displeased, and said to my brother, "If
you can do no better than that, you had better go to bed."

This was in the evening. I picked up the family Bible, walked across the
room to my father and said, "We are all willing to go to bed, but we
usually have family worship first. Won't you read and pray?" "You can read
and pray yourself if you want to," said he. So I sat down and read, and
then we knelt down and prayed; God's power came like a mighty wave from the
glory world, filling the room. When we arose from our knees Father had
disappeared.

A few minutes later, when one of my brothers went to the barn, Father said
to him, "What is that noise at the house?" My brother answered, "God has
given us the victory, and Mary is shouting." "Well," said Father, "that
won't do the mule any good;" but the boy answered quickly, "Well, we
weren't praying for the mule," and Father never said anything more about
the injury to the mule.

At another time Harley was lying very sick, and the enemy stirred Father up
to treat him cruelly. He told my brother that if he didn't get up, he would
give him a good whipping. He started to get the whip. In the meanwhile, my
soul was stirred to its limit; God seemed to move my very being to protect
the child. I knew that he was really sick and that the enemy was using
Father for his own purpose.

I went into the room where my brother was lying and stood near him. When
father returned, he could see me standing by the head of the old-fashioned
bedstead near one of its high posts. He knew by my looks that I was there
to shield the sick boy. He ordered me out, but I made no reply. He tried to
remove me by force from where I was standing; but I held on to the bedpost
until finally by a strong jerk he succeeded in loosing my hold and gave me
a push that threw me across the floor a number of feet away, where I fell
and went to praying. God answered prayer, and gave us the victory, and
Father left the room without another word. Before beginning to resist
Father, I had made up my mind to take the whipping myself, rather than see
my sick brother imposed upon; but God intervened, and I did not have to
suffer. Every time I interfered, Father seemed to realize that it was not
I, but God who was reproving him.

I was now about twenty-four or twenty-five years of age and I felt that the
Lord wanted me to make a few suggestions to Father about his treatment of
me. I told him that he should be careful lest he lay himself liable to the
law. He answered me harshly, but it seemed that God put his fear on him,
for that was the last time Father became violent toward me.

Shortly before my healing, which will be described in the next chapter, I
had a very peculiar dream in which I saw the whole family sitting at the
table eating. Father held in his hand an iron mallet which he began to
motion in a threatening way toward Mother. I thought that he intended to
take her life with the mallet. Then I thought, "Mother has been so good and
kind to me that I can not bear to stay in the room and see this deed done."
I started for the door. As I went, God spoke to me, saying, "Pray; ask for
the strength of a Samson, if need be; and I will give it." I began praying
and God answered. His strength and power came over me. I can not express
how strong I felt as I went to my father, took the iron mallet out of his
hand. He was like a little child in my hands. I held him until he promised
he would never do so again; and all the while his face was twitching with
fear, and he was trembling like a leaf.

When I was healed, God put much of his divine power into both my soul and
body. It seemed that I was just filled with God and that I thrilled with
his presence, until at times I was not on earth, but rather in heaven. At
one such time Father began to bring false accusations against Harley. His
unkind manner, as well as the false charges, showed that he was actuated by
a wrong spirit. God seemed to again stir my soul to speak in behalf of the
boy. At first Father did not comprehend that God was talking through me,
and spoke roughly; but he soon realized that God was using my lips of clay;
the fear of the Lord came upon him, and he trembled like a leaf. I saw that
God had fulfilled my dream, that he had helped me to take the iron mallet
out of Father's hand. So far as I know, Father never acted so cruelly
toward my brother again.

I wish to warn children who read this narrative not to use this incident to
their own shame. If the Spirit of the Lord should ever lead you to resist
your father or mother, he will give you the power to win a victory for
truth and righteousness; but, if, on the other hand, you resist your
parents in your own strength, or for selfish purposes, you will bring upon
yourself shame and confusion. Even if you should succeed in having your own
way, either through force of will or through your parents' meekly yielding
to you, God will make you feel the shame of your wrong-doing.

In my personal dealings with Father, God manifested himself and showed
himself mighty in caring for me. Once as we were going to meeting, the team
became frightened and hard to hold and I became so frightened that I had a
spasm after we got to meeting. Father was ashamed because I had had a spasm
in public. He seemed to think he was disgraced, and concluded that in the
future I should stay at home. I was now saved and sanctified and enjoyed
very much attending public services, so Mother and I prayed earnestly that
God would put it into Father's heart to let me attend meetings again. Our
prayers were answered and I had no more difficulty until sometime
afterwards. At that time I had been to a meeting several miles from home
and had remained over night with some friends without asking permission. As
a punishment, Father again refused to allow me to go to church.

Again Mother and I sought the Lord with prayer and fasting, and the Lord
soon showed me that we had gained the victory. We felt impressed, however,
to spend another day in fasting and prayer. Although Father did not know
that we were praying, he came to me and said, "Mary, you can go to
meeting"; and from that time he never kept me at home from services.

Father owned the farm on which we lived in Pettis County, Missouri. It
contained 244 acres of fairly good land and was sufficiently stocked.
Although, in a financial way, father was doing as well as his neighbors, he
had for a number of years been growing discontented. These periods of
discontentment seemed especially to trouble him in the spring before farm
work began. At such times he wanted to mortgage his farmland and to move
out of the country.

Every spring for a number of years, Mother and I would get on our knees and
pray earnestly to God that he would overrule Father's roving disposition
and make him content to stay at home. Again and again the dear Lord was
gracious and answered our petition. Things would go on well for a while,
but with the coming of the next spring, we would again have the same
experience.

One spring when we took to our knees as usual to pray in behalf of Father,
the Lord gave me to understand that our petition would not be answered,
that Father would have his own way. This seemed almost unbearable, and I
cried and prayed for Father until I almost lost my voice. God answered my
petition with this suggestion: "If nothing else but to go among strangers
and have a hard time will bring your father to the Lord are you willing
that he should go?" I answered, "Lord, from this standpoint, but from no
other." From that time the burden left me. Father went, and the Lord said
to me, "Now you have no excuse for not going into gospel work." Father had
been unwilling for me to go, and with his going my last excuse was removed.

Father went first to Oregon, but some years later came back as far as
Wymore, Nebraska, where he bought property and settled. A few years later
he came and stayed with us at home for one winter.

In a meeting that my brother George, Sister Lodema Kaser, and I held in
Wymore, Father sought the Lord and seemed to get a real experience of
salvation.

Later he had some little difficulty in retaining his experience. He got
tried at some of the brethren and thought he would leave the church, as he
had formerly done in sectarianism. He found, however, that in leaving the
church he was leaving God, since people can get out of the church of God
only through sin. Soon after this he began to be troubled with heart
failure. He lived only a few months. My sister who cared for him in his
last illness, informed me that at the time of his death he was fully
restored to the fellowship of the church and that for some months before he
died, he showed every sign of being prepared. God assured me that Father
was saved, yet as by fire. This seemed a real miracle as much of the time
Father's religious experience had not been satisfactory. We serve a mighty
God who works miracles: some of Father's children had been praying so
earnestly for him that God would not let them be disappointed. I believe I
shall meet him in the glory world.

At the time my youngest brothers were saved, and shortly afterwards I was
an invalid and unable to go to meeting on Sunday. They took turn about
staying with me, while my parents went to meeting. As soon as the rest of
the family were gone, we would take down the family Bible and ask the Lord
to help us to turn to some scripture that would be good for us. Then we
would read. Whenever we came to a promise, we would ask the Lord to help us
claim that promise and to get out of it all the benefit that God had in it
for us. After reading, we would get down and pray asking God to help us
retain what we had read and to make it a blessing to us.

When the family would come home from meeting, Mother would tell us all she
could remember of the sermon, as she was anxious to get to me all the
encouragement she could. As we listened to Mother's account of the
services, we realized that we had had the best meeting.

This fact became so noticeable that whenever they wanted George to go to
meeting, he would say, "No, I want to stay with Mary." After the others
were gone, he would say, "Mary, let us read as we did the other Sunday."
"George," I would answer, "I feel so weak this morning; I don't feel able
to hold the Bible" (it was a very large book), "Mary, I will hold the
Bible, if you will do the reading." Weak as I was, I could not refuse, and
we would begin, asking God to direct us, stopping to claim each promise,
and asking God to bless the Word to our good, and to help us to remember
all that would be helpful to us. We continued this practise until I was
healed and able to attend the meetings again. I shall never be able to tell
the profit that I derived from this little Bible school.

God himself was our teacher, and through this responsibility he was
preparing me for greater usefulness.

It was during this period of apparent inactivity that God gave me my first
experience of divine healing. At that time I think I was about twenty-five
years of age. I was ignorant that the Lord is as willing and as able to
heal our bodies as he is to save our souls. I was suffering greatly with a
swelling on the inside of my jaw that entirely closed my mouth. The doctor
said he would not dare to lance the swelling as the tendons and arteries
lay so near that such an operation would be dangerous. He prescribed a
poultice, and said that the swelling would probably break in about three
days.

I went home suffering greatly: I felt that I could not endure any more. I
told my two youngest brothers, who knew how to pray and cast their burdens
on the Lord, to call on God earnestly that he would either relieve me of
the suffering or give me grace to bear it. Soon they came to my room: one
said, "I prayed for the Lord either to relieve you or give you grace to
bear the pain," and the other said, "I prayed the Lord to relieve you." In
ten minutes every bit of suffering was gone. A sweet calm settled over my
body; and to my happy surprise, I found that the swelling had broken. It
was soon gone. I suffered no more pain, and next day was able to go to
meeting.

About a year later I made the acquaintance of a young man to whom I soon
became greatly attached. After a time we became engaged. As I had learned
to seek the mind of the Lord in all things, I did not find it hard to
submit the question of matrimony to his will. The fact that I had had my
own way so long, made me feel sure that the Lord was going to let me have
my own way about my marriage. But this consideration did not at all affect
my consecration, either at this time or when I sought God for healing. When
I sought God for healing, he showed me that he wanted my entire service,
and that I must seek his benefits for his glory only. It was wholly for
God's glory, therefore, that I sought healing.

Perhaps some of the young ministers and workers who read this book will
wonder at the long period of inactivity, as some might call it, between my
call to the ministry and the time when I actually began gospel work. I now
look back upon this period as a time filled with blessed experiences that
moulded my character, established my faith and peculiarly fitted me for the
work to which God had called me. I have always been glad that the Lord had
his way. This time was not lost. Like Joseph in prison, whom God was
educating to be a prince, I was being prepared in God's own way for future
usefulness.

During this time of which I am now speaking, God laid it upon my heart to
read the many good books, which now fell into my hands, such as Phoebe
Palmer's Works--"Faith and Its Effects," "Sanctification Practical," and
"Tell Jesus." The last named book was especially helpful in forming my
Christian character, containing as it does so many precious experiences of
trusting in God. I had the privilege also of reading the works of Mrs.
Fletcher, Hester Ann Rodgers, and John Wesley. For the privilege of reading
all these, I give God thanks. I put the experiences of which I read to a
practical test, thus proving that what God had done for others, he would do
for me also. After the test these narrations of God's marvelous dealings
were no longer stories in a book, but they had become my own personal
experiences.

At different times I have hunted awhile for some lost article, when the
Lord would come with these words: "Tell Jesus." I would tell him and soon I
would find the missing article. He would even direct me to the very spot
where it lay concealed. Soon after I read the book, "Tell Jesus," I took my
sewing machine apart thinking that I could clean it and put it together
again, just as one of my lady friends had done. I soon found that I was not
skilful enough, told Jesus, and obtained help to get the machine together
all right.

Sometimes when I was not near a jeweler, my watch would get out of repair,
and I would earnestly ask the Lord to fix it for me, provided he could do
so without my becoming fanatical or being led wrong. A number of times he
answered my prayer.

One time I remember, I let my watch fall and it was greatly damaged; but I
could not get to a jeweler to have it repaired. As I felt the need of the
watch very much, I asked the Lord earnestly to please fix it for me. The
watch soon began running. I intended to take the watch to a jeweler later;
but as it kept perfect time I did not need to take it.

During all these years God was teaching me as rapidly as he could, lessons
of faith and trust. In every severe trial or test, no matter what its
nature, I would earnestly lay my trouble before God and he would
marvelously lift me up and give me victory. At such times he would give me
precious promises such as these: "When the enemy comes in like a flood, the
Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him;" "The desire of
the righteous shall be granted;" "They that trust in the Lord shall not be
confounded, and shall not lack any good thing."

From the beginning, my spiritual life was one of trials; but thank God, the
trials were always followed by triumphs. "Thanks be to God who giveth us
the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." In such experiences, I learned
what has been verified to me again and again throughout the course of my
life, that it pays to cast all our cares and burdens upon him who has
promised to bear them for us; to leave everything with him; to lay
ourselves and all we possess at his feet, tiusting him to care for us and
to carry our sorrows. God wants just such an opportunity. He is a wonderful
God, a very present help at all times. "They that trust in the Lord shall
be as Mount Zion, which can not be moved, but abideth forever." "As the
mountains are round about Jerusalem, so is the Lord round about his people
from henceforth even forever."

Dear young ministers and workers, God may call you to his work and send you
forth at once into the field; but do not be impatient or discouraged if the
Lord sees fit to have you tarry awhile after he has called you. Remember,
you are implements in the hands of the Lord. As workers called of the Lord,
you should be like clay for the Master's use. Be careful, however, lest you
become marred in God's hands as was the vessel that Jeremiah saw in the
hands of the potter.

Do not get in God's way and so spoil his design. Remember that Jesus at
twelve years old knew that he must be about his Father's business; but he
was thirty before he began his ministry. Remember that John the Baptist
tarried in the wilderness for a long time before he began preaching on the
banks of Jordan. Remember that the disciples spent ten days in the upper
room before power came upon them from on high. You know this; nor do you
think that these times of tarrying were wasted. Neither will your time of
waiting be lost. Abide God's time; then, when you do enter upon your
ministry, you will go, sustained by his power and by his blessing.




Chapter IX

Healed by Divine Power

I have now to relate what to me is one of the most important events of my
life. Up to this time I had been a hopeless invalid. The doctors could not
cure me. Under the care of some, my health would improve for a short time;
but others would not undertake to do anything for me. After inquiring into
my condition, they would say that it would be as easy to make a world as to
restore me to health. I remember especially that this remark was made by
the doctor who was attending me shortly before my healing. At the time I
was healed, my case was in the hands of a specialist, who said he could
give me no permanent relief in less than a year.

Having no hope of help from the doctor and having been taught that the days
of divine healing were past, I concluded that there was no hope for me, and
that the Lord intended me to be made perfect through suffering. In the
spring of 1880, my oldest brother, who had been greatly afflicted with
chronic dyspepsia, was healed in answer to prayer. Not until that time did
I know that any one had been healed by divine power since the days of the
apostles. I did not consider the healing which I have already related a
healing, but a special miracle performed in answer to prayer. As he and I
were the invalids of the family, we naturally sympathized a great deal with
each other, opened our hearts to each other, shared all our troubles and
sorrows.

During the summer of the year I have just mentioned, my brother came home
and began to tell how well he was. "Jeremiah, what patent medicine have you
been taking?" He looked at me, smiled and said, "Mary, if you will take the
kind of medicine I have, you will be well too." "What kind is that?" "It is
faith and prayer--the Lord's word received by faith." This was all new to
me--just like a strange language. I asked no more questions, for I did not
know what to say.

Finally, Mother, who had been listening to the conversation, said to him,
"Can you eat a raw egg if I get it for you?" His health had been so poor
that at times he could eat nothing but a raw egg, and frequently he would
refuse even that. "Mother," he replied, "I can eat two eggs if you can
spare that many, and you may cook them for me." When Mother cooked the
eggs, he looked at her and said, "Mother, have you any meat?" She looked at
him doubtfully, and not comprehending what God had done for his body, said,
"I don't believe I will give you any meat this time." He made no reply,
knowing that she did not understand.

It was October before I saw my brother again. Another swelling had appeared
on my jaw, stopping my mouth so that I could take my food only in a liquid
form, sucking it through my teeth. My brother again encouraged me to trust
the Lord, quoting God's promises to heal the body and relating a number of
instances that he had witnessed where persons were healed of fits and other
serious afflictions. I told my brother that I did not doubt that the Lord
had healed others, but said that I did not know whether or not he wanted to
heal me. "Perhaps," said I, "he is leaving me afflicted to keep me humble.
If I were healed, I might not keep saved." My brother showed me that God
was just as willing to heal me as he was to heal anybody else, and that it
was both my duty and privilege to trust God for my healing. "Look over your
consecration," said he "and see if you are willing to be healed for God's
glory alone."

I thought the matter over for some days. One day I prayed for my healing
until I thought I could claim it by faith; but I soon found that the work
was not done. Upon waking a few mornings later, I said to myself, "I am
going to let the Lord heal me today if he will." Then the enemy whispered,
"You have not enough faith yet to be healed; put it off a week or two, and
by that time your faith will be stronger." Then came the voice of Jesus,
"Oh thou of little faith; wherefore didst thou doubt." Dropping on my
knees, I cried "Lord if it is unbelief, take it out root and branch"; and I
knew he did. Then I said, "Lord, what next?" He then showed me I should
pour out my medicine. God revealed to me that I was to be severely tempted,
and that if I had any medicine about, that I would be sure to take it and
so lose faith for healing.

God was now bringing me to a place where I must choose between trusting God
and disbelieving his promises. As a first act of faith on my part, I poured
out my medicine. God showed me that if I were to doubt the Scriptures: "Who
healeth all thy diseases"; "The prayer of faith shall save the sick," etc,
I would not stop until I should reject all his Word, die an infidel, be
lost in hell, and perhaps be the means of the loss of scores of other
souls.

I said to Mother, "If you ever prayed earnestly for me, pray now." So we
bowed together. After she prayed, I began praying, claimed the promise in
Matthew 18:19: "Lord, thou hast said, that if two shall agree on earth as
touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of the
Father which is in heaven. Now, Lord, we are agreed that thou shalt heal
me--soul, mind, body, and spirit as completely as is most to thy glory." As
I said this, I laid hold on the healing power by faith, the witness came
from heaven, and the work was done. I arose from my knees saying, "Mother,
it is done! I am healed! I am healed!" I felt the virtue go through my
body; and, oh, the showers of heavenly grace that filled my soul! I began
to praise the Lord. Oh, it was heavenly! "My soul was joyful in glory," for
God filled my soul. Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by the prophet
Isaiah saying, "Then shall the lame man leap as an hart and the tongue of
the dumb sing: for in the wilderness shall waters break out and streams in
the desert" (Isaiah 35:6).

This was the beginning of a new epoch in my life, the beginning of months
to me. It was the first time in my recollection that I could say I was
well: the first bright hope of health that I had ever had in this world.
That same day I could eat and drink without the slightest distress,
anything that was fit for a sound stomach. I had never been able to do this
before.

But that night the trial came. It seemed that all hell was let loose to try
to rob me of my healing faith and to bring back all my diseases. Had I not
poured out my medicine, I surely would have yielded. Having no other
refuge, I clung to the promises of God, and rebuked the devil until 2
o'clock in the morning. Then I saw fulfilled God's promise: "Resist the
devil and he will flee from you"; and there was a great calm. It seemed
that the angels came and ministered unto me. My joy was full; my cup ran
over. When morning came I began praising the Lord; and for several days, I
walked the floor offering almost ceaseless praises to God. The story was
circulated throughout the neighborhood, "Mary Cole is having a whole
camp-meeting by herself. She claims that God has healed her; but as soon as
the excitement wears off, she will be as bad as ever."

My appetite was now good, and my strength increased daily. Soon I was able
to attend a protracted meeting held by the Methodists, of which
denomination I was still a member. When opportunity was given for
testimonies, I arose and told of God's wonderful dealings with me--how he
had pardoned all my sins, made me his child, afterwards sanctified me
wholly, and how he had recently healed my poor afflicted body. I exhorted
them to get rid of unbelief and to move out for God on the Bible promises.
After meeting, the preacher came to talk to me about my experience. He said
he did not doubt that I had been healed, but I must not testify to it,
"for" said he, "the people can not stand so much light."

I very foolishly concluded to follow the preacher's advice; and immediately
the flood-gates of hell seemed to open. The powers of darkness seemed to
gather to destroy both soul and body--my mind was almost reeling; intense
suffering began in my body. God showed me that I had broken my contract
with him in order to please a blinded preacher. My feelings were
indescribable. I did not know what to do; but God showed me that if I would
renew my covenant with him, resist the devil, and obey God in all things,
all would be well. I obeyed God, and my faith again became unwavering; my
strength began to increase; and a large scrofulous ulcer that had appeared
on my face, soon went away. My blood became pure; and warmth, such as I had
never felt before, came into my body. I could now sleep comfortably with
half as much covering on my bed as I formerly required.

Since my first healing, I have had a few attacks of sickness but God has
healed me every time. In the thirty-four years that have elapsed since I
began to trust the Lord for the healing of my body, I have never resorted
to doctors, nor have I taken any medicine. I have been as well as the
average person, and have been able to do work as hard as God has required
of me. I recommend God as a physician. At the time I was healed of my other
bodily afflictions, I was also relieved of stammering. It is true I stammer
some yet, at times, but not nearly so much as I did formerly; and not
enough to prevent my preaching the Word.

At the time of my healing, Marion, one of my unsaved brothers, was batching
near the old home place. He frequently spent his evenings at home,
sometimes lying on chairs drawn up in front of the old-fashioned fireplace.
On the Wednesday after I was healed, I found him lying before the fire and
said to him, "Oh, Marion, have you heard the good news? The Lord has healed
me." And he said, "Do you mean that he has healed you or that he has healed
that sore on your face?" "I mean that he has healed me, sore and all." Then
I went out of the room praising the Lord. Near the close of that same week,
Marion attended the revival meeting then going on at the M. E. Church, came
to the altar, and got gloriously saved. Mother went to speak to him and to
rejoice with him. "The Lord has been good to you, my son, to save you."
"Yes," he answered, "I thought if the Lord could heal Mary when the doctors
gave her up, he could save a poor sinner like me."

In the years that have passed since the Lord so graciously healed me, I
have witnessed many cases of healing. One that especially appealed to me
occurred in December, 1880, at the Jacksonville, Illinois, Holiness
Convention, where my brother Jeremiah first met D. S. Warner. I was not a
witness to this incident, but I relate it as my brother, who was present,
told the story.

A lady by the name of Sarah Gillillen, who was afflicted with a very bad
internal cancer, came to that meeting. Several months before the doctors
had told her that her case was beyond their skill. She felt impressed that
she would be healed at this meeting, and Jeremiah, Brother Warner, and
others were very much interested in her case. They sought to encourage her
and to strengthen her faith as they had opportunity. Her faith in God
seemed to increase rapidly.

One Sunday morning she said that the Lord had shown her that if she would
get up that morning and testify to her healing he would finish the work.
She got up before the large audience and began to give her testimony. A
rule had been adopted that if any one testified too long, the congregation
should sing him down. As Sister Gillillen testified for some time, they
started to sing her down; but one of the ministers said, "Brethren, let her
alone. This thing is of God." She continued her testimony; but before she
got through, the power of God came down, her face shone with glory, and
right then and there God finished her healing. She was made perfectly well.




Chapter X

Entering the Gospel Field

During the seven years that had elapsed since my call to preach the gospel,
years in which God had so wonderfully taught me and so gently led me, I
never doubted my call. By the help and grace of God I had been able to live
pleasing to the Lord, and throughout the entire time had no knowledge of
his condemnation or displeasure.

I was still engaged to the young man of whom I have already spoken; and
after my healing, began to make preparations for the wedding. I was fully
submitted to the Lord on the question of matrimony; but as my life had been
running along in such a pleasant, even course, and as I had been having my
own way in nearly everything, I felt that God was going to let me have my
way in this matter also, when to my surprise, God made clear to me that I
should not marry. He showed me that he had chosen me for himself, and that
he had first right. He brought to my mind such scriptures as this: "Thy
maker is thy husband; the Lord of Hosts is his name." As I submitted, the
Lord did not leave me comfortless. He showed me that I was not able to
fulfil both the mission he had given me, and the life that I had
contemplated.

For so long a time now since my call to the gospel work I had been at home
enjoying the companionship of my mother and of my brothers and sisters,
doing the little things that God had given me to do, and feeling the
approval of God upon my soul, I had failed to seek God earnestly to see if
he would have me move out in active gospel work. In May of the year 1882,
my brother Jeremiah, who had been out in the active ministry, returned
home. One day he said to me, "Mary, did not the Lord call you to preach his
gospel?" "Yes," I replied. "Has he not shown you that that is your future
work?" "I thought he had in the past, but it is not clear now." "Do you
want to know why it is not clear to you now?" My brother then showed me
that I had not been as diligent as I should in seeking to know God's will
in the matter, that I had taken too much for granted that the Lord would
have me continue doing as I had been for the past seven years. He asked me
to pray about going with him into the work at that time. I did as he
requested; but, as I was not anxious for an answer, did not pray earnestly
enough, and as a result, no answer came.

It was not long until Jeremiah asked me if I had prayed about my going with
him into the work. I answered that I had, but when he asked me what the
Lord had shown me, I was obliged to say, "Nothing." "Well," he replied, "As
you are not decided I suppose I would better go right on to the meeting of
the holiness association at Salisbury and not wait for you." Seeing that my
brother was not satisfied with my answer, I again went to prayer. This time
I called upon God with all my heart; and the Lord showed me that I could go
into the ministry and be saved or I could stay at home and lose my soul.

Doubtless no young minister, no matter how consecrated he may be to the
will of God, finds it easy to take his first step in gospel work. I was no
exception to the rule. Twice already when I arose in the public assembly to
bear witness to God's dealings with me, my testimony became an exhortation,
and God spoke through me to the edification of the people; but I had so far
done no preaching, and now that I had reached the decision to go with my
brother into the active ministry, I was conscious of conflicting emotions.
On the one hand, I was glad to go in obedience to God, and on the other I
hesitated to take the first step. Besides the natural human shrinking from
taking the first step, I knew how Mother would feel about my going, and
felt bad to grieve one who had been so kind to me. You must understand,
however, that Mother's feeling about my going into gospel work was very
different from Father's opposition of which I have already spoken.

At the time I broke the news to Mother, she was going through a severe
trial. It was about a week after I had my talk with Jeremiah. "Mother,"
said I, "if you had a child that had been afflicted with a disease that had
baffled the skill of all the physicians she had consulted, and finally one
physician undertook the case and performed the cure with the consideration
that your child should go and work for him whenever and wherever he wished;
would you let the child go?" Mother said, "I know just what you mean. If
nothing else will do, you may go." "Mother, as I go out into an unfriendly
world, I do not expect to have an easy time; but I believe it would not be
so hard to endure the buffetings of the world, if I could look back and
think that my mother gave me up gladly to the Lord, who has done so much
for me." We went into earnest prayer and God gave us victory over the
trial. When a week later Mother accompanied me to the train, there were no
tears in our eyes. Almost five years passed before I saw her face again.

Before starting from home, Mother had said to me, "Mary, here is a little
change to buy your stamps and envelopes." As I reached out my hand, my
brother said, "Mary do not take that money; Mother will need it. The Lord
will provide you with stamps and envelopes." I thought, "Why does he talk
that way? Even if he can trust God, I can't; and he ought to let me take
the money." He knew better than I. The Lord provided all the stamps and
envelopes I needed. Indeed, I do not remember a time that I had to wait
long to write a letter for the want of stamp or envelope. As I exercised
myself in trusting the Lord, my faith grew; so that I had no fear but that
God would provide everything I needed--my carfare, my clothing, and even a
little money to give to the cause.

The first place my brother and I visited was Salisbury, Missouri, where a
holiness convention was being held. A large concourse of people from all
parts of the United States were assembled in the large new tobacco factory,
which at that time had not been used. When we reached the place, the
meeting had been in session for several days. A number of souls had been
saved; but at the time of our arrival, not many of the people felt the
power of conviction.

On the Sunday after our arrival, the minister who had charge of the meeting
got up and said, "The Lord has not given me a message this morning, but he
has given a message to some one here. If the person who has the message
does not deliver it, he will be responsible." The pulpit was filled with
ministers, and workers were sitting all around nearby. I was on my feet in
a moment. I had a message from heaven--burning words that went right into
the hearts of the people. God made my tongue as the pen of a ready writer.
The power of God was on me in such measure that I could hardly tell whether
I was in heaven or on earth. Even old men bowed themselves and wept like
children, and sinners came flocking to the altar. Thank God for the
blessing and encouragement that he gave me in delivering this my first
public message!

As soon as the service was ended, a merchant of the town came and invited
me to his home for dinner. I wondered why he should ask me to dinner; but
when he began to ask me all the difficult religious questions that he could
think of, the mystery was explained. I felt my inability and ignorance as I
never had before, and leaned heavily on God for wisdom. The scripture, "I
will give you in that hour what ye ought to say," was fulfilled.

After a number of difficult questions had been asked, my host said, "I want
to ask you one more question." Supposing that this question would be so
difficult that it would be impossible for me to answer, I called on God
more vehemently than ever. Then came the question: "If you should die now,
without a moment's warning, do you know that you are ready?" I was
agreeably surprised. That was an easy question to answer. "Yes," said I,
with the utmost assurance. "I wish," said his wife, "I could say that"; and
a lady who was present added, "I think I would have to pray before I should
be ready."

In my early evangelistic work I met considerable opposition to woman's
preaching, and at nearly every meeting I had to explain the Scriptural
teaching on this subject. Nearly all opponents to woman's preaching
fortified themselves with such scriptures as these: "It is a shame for a
woman to speak in the church"; "Suffer not a woman to teach or to usurp
authority," etc. The Lord helped me to successfully drive these opposers
out of their false positions and to show them that they were misusing the
Scriptures.

In this connection, too, I would call attention to 1 Corinthians 11:5,
which gives instructions how a woman should pray or prophesy. If a woman be
instructed how to prophesy, she surely is granted the right to prophesy.
The New Testament definition of "prophesy" is: "He that prophesieth
speaketh unto men to edification, exhortation and comfort." If, then, a
woman be allowed to prophesy; that is, to speak unto men to edification,
exhortation, and comfort, she is granted all the privileges that any
minister enjoys.

We read also in Acts 1:14 that after the ascension when the disciples
gathered in the upper room, "There all continued with one accord in prayer
and supplication, with the women, and Mary, the mother of Jesus, and with
his brethren," which scripture proves that there were women present at the
Pentecostal baptism. After the descent of the Holy Spirit upon those
assembled, Peter says (Acts 2:16,17), "But this is that which is spoken by
the Prophet Joel; And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I
will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and daughters
shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions and your old men shall
dream dreams." We see then, according to the prophecy of Joel, that the
daughters as well as the sons were to prophesy. According to Acts 2:4, they
all spake as the Spirit gave them utterance. Does not the "all" include the
women present? Was not their speaking as the Spirit gave utterance the act
of a minister in preaching?

In Romans 16:1 Paul says, "I commend unto you Phoebe, our sister, which is
a servant of the church which is at Cenchrea." Is not the servant of the
church the minister? When they used to tell me that this scripture means
that a woman could serve the church only by doing temporal work, such as
cooking for ministers, etc., I would answer, "If the inference of this
scripture is that a woman can serve the church by doing temporal work only,
the preachers are not doing their duty, because in the second verse the
Lord commanded the other ministers to assist Phoebe. If then the women's
only service be to cook for the ministers, the ministers, if they would
obey this scripture, should certainly help the women cook."

Before going to our second meeting, at Sturgeon, Missouri, I had learned
that the women in that place were not allowed to preach. On my arrival I
asked some of the women if the sisters had liberty. "Yes," said they, "to
pray and sing, and to testify a little." "Well," said I, "I can't sing; but
I can pray, and 'testify a little.'" I learned that during this meeting a
petition to license a saloon in the town had been drawn up and that a
number of the women in attendance at the meeting had signed the petition.
During the latter part of the meeting God's Spirit fired my soul to preach
the Word, but I had no opportunity. I counseled with some of the ministers
about it and received conflicting advice. Some said, "Sister Cole, you know
the restrictions; you would better not preach." Others said, "Go ahead,
Sister Cole: God will see you through." On the last night of the meeting,
whenever I would decide to speak, God would bless my soul; but when I would
decide to keep still, it seemed as if I should be paralyzed. One brother
made a remark that had a strong tendency to keep me from speaking that
evening: "If you get up on the last night of the meeting," said he, "it
will look as if you were taking advantage of the man who has the meeting in
charge." Finally, after two of the brethren had spoken for a short time, I
felt clear to take the floor, and God spoke through me in power.

I reminded them of the petition to license the saloon for the purpose of
damning souls, and sending them to hell, and spoke of the women's names
that had been signed to the petition to license the saloon. "From
childhood," said I, "I have heard that woman is the downfall of this world.
She is now offered the opportunity to destroy souls, but it is a shame and
a disgrace to any town that its women are not allowed to preach in the
church to help save souls. Before I came to this meeting, I knew the
restrictions; but I made up my mind that if I was thrown into the furnace
of trial, I would go into that furnace praying for the one that had put the
restrictions upon me."

The power of God wonderfully attended the message. At the close of the
meeting, a wealthy gentleman, the one who had denied women the privilege of
speaking, came and wanted to shake hands with me. "May the Lord bless you,"
said I, extending my hand. "I believe the Lord blesses you," he answered. I
replied that he did. I was told later that on the next day he told certain
persons on the street that doubtless that little girl was relieved since
she had got her mouth off.

At the time of which I now speak, I had never heard a woman preach. My own
preaching had been done by God's power and under his anointing. At about
the time the Sturgeon meeting closed, I heard of a woman preacher some
forty miles away, and felt quite anxious to meet her. In company with my
brother, I went to visit her and found a dear saint of God who had been
used much in the salvation of souls. She had taken a severe cold, which had
later settled on her lungs; and at the time of our visit, her affliction
had developed into consumption, and she was growing rapidly worse. It
seemed that her faith could not grasp God's promises for healing.

We wanted to help the sister all we could, but I had been working very
hard, washing and ironing, and was feeling quite exhausted; so much so,
indeed, that I did not feel like sitting up while my brother was talking to
her. As I was lying on the couch trying to rest, my brother said, "Mary, is
there anything you want from the Lord?" "Nothing," said I, "unless it be
rest." "Well," said he, "if you can take the Lord for it, he can rest you
in an instant." The words were scarcely uttered before my faith grasped the
Lord; I was rested from head to foot, jumped off the bed, and fairly
bounced up and down with joy, feeling as though I had never been tired. The
sister for whom we had been praying, remarked, "That gets away with my
faith." "Do you doubt my having been tired?" I asked. "No." "Do you doubt
the Lord's resting me?" "No; but I never saw it on this fashion."

That afternoon we took the train for Jefferson City, Missouri. After we
arrived at our destination, my brother hunted a place for me to board while
he went about sixty miles into the country to get a team and wagon to take
us to our new field of labor, there being no railroads in that direction.

After a day or two, the lady with whom I boarded learned that I was a
gospel worker. "If I can get a congregation together," said she, "will you
talk to them?" I told her that I would. The people come together, and I
asked some one to lead in prayer, but no one made any response. Finally
they said that there was a man across the street who could pray, and asked
if they should call him. The man came in; he and I led in prayer, and the
Lord gave me a message. After the service was over, different ones came and
congratulated me, saying, "It was a grand message; you highly entertained
us," just as if I were an actress and they came for no other purpose than
to be entertained. A number of those present were professors of religion;
but I doubted whether there were any possessors.

For a time the woman with whom I was staying seemed quite suspicious of me,
but God helped me to live so that before the week was out she had perfect
confidence in me, and sometimes left her house in my care all day. I helped
her what I could about her housework; and at her request, held as many as
three cottage meetings during the week. God gave me favor with the woman;
for when I went away she charged me only half the usual price for my board
and lodging, and even gave me some presents. She did not know that I paid
her all the money I had; but the Lord knew all about it, and saw to it that
she did not charge me too much.

My brother had now come with a team and wagon. Accompanied by the owner of
the outfit, we started on our difficult journey to our new field of labor.
The roads were very rough and rocky, and we met with some hardships. We
tried to camp out one night, but the mosquitos were so bad we had to resume
our journey as soon as we could see to travel in the morning. Before we
reached our destination, our provisions well-nigh gave out. At the end of
our journey we had nothing left but a little stale bread and some bacon.
Having no chance to cook anything, we made our last meal on dry bread and
raw bacon.




Chapter XI

Labors in a New Field

For the next three years my brother and I worked in Missouri, in territory
lying in Maries, Phelps, Pulaski and Miller counties. The country was very
rough and hilly. Many of the people were very wicked--most of them being of
the type that live in a rough country remote from railroads.

A Baptist minister whom we met soon after we began work in this part of the
State, is a fair illustration of the religious standard of the people. This
man, who, for the want of a better name, we shall call Father B--, a name
by which he was known far and near, was called on all occasions where a
minister was needed throughout a territory twenty or thirty miles in
extent. He served as evangelist and pastor, and officiated at weddings and
funerals. The people among whom he labored supported him quite liberally;
but he used the money they gave him in buying whiskey, and spent a good
share of his time in a drunken, or semi-drunken condition.

He used frequently to attend our meetings, because as he expressed it, he
liked "to hear the woman preacher." Very frequently he staggered into
meeting supported by the man who accompanied him, and sometimes had to be
supported after he was seated. His seat on the front bench of the small
country schoolhouse in which the meetings were held, brought him so near me
that the offensive smell of his breath sickened me almost beyond endurance,
and I could scarcely continue my sermon. Yet this man, habitual drunkard as
he was, and filthy with tobacco, was considered throughout that region
worthy of financial support and of the title and office of minister.

About fifteen years before we went to that country, a certain woman, who
for many years now has been a true sister in the church, had been saved in
one of Father B----'s meetings, obtaining, as she has always believed, a
real experience of salvation. But when she saw that Father B---- drank
whiskey and chewed tobacco, she became discouraged and took to attending
parties and dances. When called before the church to give an account of her
conduct, she defended herself by saying that she did not think it any worse
for her to attend parties and dances, than it was for the preacher to drink
whiskey and to chew tobacco. I do not now remember what action the
congregation took in regard to her; but at any rate, she went into sin, and
lost her experience. This sister came to our meetings, sought the Lord, and
was again restored to divine favor.

Father B---- was a very old man when we first met him. He died before we
left that part of the country. His last illness was preceded by a drunken
spree, during which some rougish boys painted a barren fig-tree on his bald
head. He died soon afterward. Notwithstanding the efforts of those who
prepared the body for burial, his head went to its last resting-place still
marked by some of the paint that portrayed him as a barren fig-tree.

But not all of the people had such a low conception of religion. God had
some true children in that part of the country. My brother had already held
meetings in these countries; God had blessed his efforts; and a number of
souls had been saved and sanctified. Nevertheless, when we arrived, the
outlook for holding meetings was not good. It was now late in the fall--too
late for outdoor meetings--so we began holding services in small
schoolhouses. The people came out in crowds. God's Spirit worked on their
hearts, and numbers came to the Lord.

You must not suppose, however, that any one could preach the straight
gospel very long in such a place without meeting opposition. One night
while my brother and I were holding our first series of meetings, at a
schoolhouse on Dry Creek, in Maries County, Missouri, a mob of about a
dozen drunken men came with the intention of breaking up the meeting. When
they came, the service had not yet begun. The men entered the room in a
boisterous way, talking loudly, and acting in an offensive insulting manner
toward every one in the room. I do not remember just how it came about, but
for some reason one of the men caught hold of my brother and gave him a
jerk that sent him whirling for some distance across the room. I was afraid
that Jeremiah was in danger; but when I saw that he was not at all
frightened, my fears subsided. There was so much noise and loud talking,
however, that we could not begin the meeting, so we offered earnest prayer
that the Lord would take charge of things and quell the disturbance. I
tried to preach, but there was still too much confusion.

While I was standing in the pulpit, one of the drunk men near the door
pointed a revolver at me, but God protected me: the weapon did not go off.
The man who had pointed the revolver at me, soon went out, accompanied by
his comrades and by a number of other men who wanted some of the whiskey.
Some of the women went to the door to beg their husbands and brothers to
come in, and stood there crying, fearful that their relatives would be
killed. I went to the door and said to the women, "Come in. If there is any
trouble you can do nothing to prevent it." "We would come in too," said one
of the rowdies, "but you always begin on us." "No," I answered, "we will
not begin on you. We shall be glad to have you come in, and we shall expect
you to behave yourselves."

Most of the men outside came in, and the meeting began. The Lord gave me
the message. During my discourse, I said, "Fools make a mock at sin, but
who is it that mocks God?" "No fools, no tun. You know that too," cried one
of the men. Then he began to say the Lord's prayer, but was too drunk to
finish it. I paid no attention to the interruption, and continued my
sermon. There was no more disturbance, and not a revolver was fired until
the mob was some distance from the house. One of the men gave himself up
the next day and three others were arrested. They were a shamefaced set of
fellows after it was all over.

Early in December we were holding meeting on Dry Creek not far from where
we held our first series of meetings in Meries county. Some grown-up boys
and girls, who had been drinking freely, came to the services and created
such a disturbance that Jeremiah thought it best in the interest of good
order to have them arrested. On the day of the trial the two lawyers
employed to defend these young men and women, ridiculed and belittled my
brother, calling him "the immaculate Jeremiah," and insinuating that he
thought himself almost equal to Christ. At first I felt greatly tried, but
when I looked round and saw that Jeremiah's face was glowing and that he
seemed almost happy enough to shout, my burden all left me. I made up my
mind that since my brother was so triumphant I, too, would throw off the
burden and claim victory. The young people who had disturbed the meeting
had to pay a small fine. So far as I know, they behaved better in the
future.

Just a few days after the occurrence just related, we began a meeting in
the Bell schoolhouse, about five miles further down Dry Creek. My brother
and I were staying with different families in the district. An M. E. South
preacher who lived in the neighborhood, and who had heard of our trouble
with the young folks in the other district, sent word to my brother that a
mob was coming that night to break up our meeting, and that we should stay
away and let him hold that service. He believed that the young people
opposed us because we taught holiness, divine healing, etc.; and thought
that his age, and the confidence of the people of the neighborhood in him
would enable him to control the mob and to hold the meeting without
difficulty. He tried to send word to me too; but, as I was staying with a
family who lived some distance away, I did not receive his message.
Jeremiah remained at his boarding place.

I went to the schoolhouse that evening expecting nothing unusual; but to my
surprise I found in the house and yard a boisterous crowd of twenty-five or
thirty men, who had been drinking freely of the liberal supply of whiskey
they had brought with them. They were banded together for the express
purpose of having a good time and breaking up the meeting. I can give you
no adequate idea of the scene that greeted me as I approached. Men were
running in and out of the schoolhouse, drinking, yelling, swearing, and
talking at the top of their voices. The confusion was terrible.

Soon after my arrival the old preacher attempted to begin the service. He
gave out a song, which a few of those present tried to sing; but the crowd
was so noisy that the preacher alternately plead with them and reproved
them, but without avail. The noise increased: the confusion became so great
that, in despair, the old preacher gave up the attempt to hold a meeting
and began to take down the names of those members of the mob whom he knew.
The men had with them a number of bottles and jugs of whiskey. Drinking,
swearing, and yelling continued without intermission, and from time to time
we could hear the firing of revolvers. As soon as it seemed safe to do so,
I went home with one of my friends, who lived near by.

As soon as possible, the old minister had a number of the members of the
mob arrested and brought to trial for disturbing the peace. The preacher's
actions during the trial showed that his object was, not so much to
preserve the peace, as to take vengeance. Not content with a fine, he
insisted on a jail sentence.

After the prosecution had offered its evidence against the mob, the lawyers
on the defense made fun of the preacher saying: "What! you! A minister of
the gospel! You want to send them to jail! You should be praying for them
and trying to get them saved." His reply was, "Yes, I will do all I can to
send them to prison and then I will go and grin at them (in derision)
through the bars." I do not now recall whether or not the culprits received
any punishment; but at any rate, the preacher's desire for vengeance was
not satisfied. It was a common report about the country that he was so
disappointed and mortified over what had happened that he did not sleep any
that night. The difference of spirit manifested by my brother and that
manifested by the old preacher shows the difference between the operation
of the love of God and of human vengeance.

Soon after we began our labors, I became afflicted with the itch, which was
then epidemic in that part of the country. A neighboring high school had
been closed because of this disagreeable affliction. Previous to taking the
disease myself, I had met some of the saints who had it, and who had not
been healed as soon as I thought they should be. I shall have to relate
that through ignorance--to my shame, be it said--I was not as compassionate
to those unfortunate ones as I should have been. I had made assertions
similar to this: "If you can't trust the Lord for healing, I would advise
you to use remedies. Mother says that any one who would keep such an
affliction any length of time is not decent." Many of the people were
wounded because of my heartless way of talking, though I did it ignorantly.

The Lord saw that I needed a good lesson, and therefore let the malady come
upon me in a severe form. While preaching in small overheated school-houses
with but very poor ventilation, my body became overheated, thus aggravating
the disease, and soon I was not able to be in the public services at all.
My arms swelled so that I could not straighten them; and for some months, I
had but little use of my hands. This affliction baffled my faith more than
any that I had had up to that time, but I had no temptation to resort to
remedies. The case of the lady preacher whom we visited in northern
Missouri stood before me as a warning. I decided to have my battle now, and
not to give way and lose my healing faith. So I held on steadily by the
help of my brother and fought the battle through until God gave me victory.

It was some time before I got rid of all the symptoms. The Lord showed me
that I must be willing to go into the work again with them still showing.
To do so, required humility, and I had to seek the Lord for help. I met
rebuffs of which only the Lord and I knew; but God was ordering this
experience, and the trial lasted no longer than was for my good. To
complete the lesson, God laid upon me the duty of confessing publicly the
attitude I had held towards those who had the itch before me, and the way I
had talked to them. I made my confession, humbly asking the forgiveness of
all who had been wounded by my words. God's way is humility before honor.
The going down is painful; but God's lifting up afterwards is sweet. Praise
his dear name! Christ was a meek and lowly Savior. To follow his example we
must go the lowly way.

While yet in sectarianism I got the impression that the devil had to be
stirred before a good revival could be held. Acting on this principle, I
prayed that the Lord would stir the devil in the series of meetings my
brother and I were then beginning at the Tennyson schoolhouse.

My prayer was answered. One evening near the beginning of this revival nine
respectable young men of Vichy, Missouri, hired horses and saddles at the
livery barn and came out to the schoolhouse to attend the meeting. Two
desperate characters, reputed to have escaped from the penitentiary, were
present, but remained outside the house. The services proceeded unmolested;
but, after the service, when the nine young men from Vichy went to get
their horses, they found that some one had cut the saddles and bridles in
pieces and turned their horses loose. Others found their harness cut and
the nuts of their wagons gone. The two desperadoes now began walking back
and forth through the yard, displaying their weapons and threatening to
shoot any one that accused them of committing any depredation. As the burrs
had been removed from the wagon in which I came, I had to ride home on a
mule behind another person. Jeremiah said, "Mary, I hope you have learned
the lesson to not pray the Lord to stir the devil until you know you are
able to cast him out. It is not always necessary that the devil be stirred
before a revival. Souls can be saved and even devils cast out without the
devil's being stirred and the power of the enemy being put on exhibition."
I never again prayed for the devil to be stirred.

About the beginning of the new year, the affliction which I have already
mentioned, rendered me unfit for public service, and for about three months
my brother and I stayed at the home of Brother Baugh on Dry Creek, where we
read and studied and prayed and fought the affliction that had been imposed
upon us. My brother got his prayers through and obtained healing much
sooner than I. He used afterward to say, "I shall thank God through all
eternity for having had the itch; because when I prayed through for
healing, I struck the evening light," meaning that he was beginning to
discern the unity of God's people. This remark was often followed by a
happy, hearty laugh.

Early in the spring I had so far recovered from my affliction that my
brother and I began again to hold meetings in the schoolhouses in the
counties where we had been working, covering in all a territory about
fifteen or twenty miles in extent. These meetings usually lasted two,
three, and four weeks at each place, and were very profitable in the
salvation of souls. There were some things in connection with our work,
however, that puzzled us greatly. For instance, after we had held a good
meeting in which a number of souls had been saved, and had gone on to other
appointments, preachers of different denominations would follow us up,
preaching against two works of grace and divine healing, and casting
reflections on us as ministers, with the result that upon returning after
an absence of several weeks, we would find the people discouraged, and the
congregation in a bad spiritual condition.

These things made our hearts ache. We saw that in our absence the people
needed some one to give them advice, encouragement, and spiritual help.

Finally my brother said to me, "Mary, I am going to write to the Free
Methodists and ask them if they will send us a preacher that will preach
holiness." It was not long until we received the following letter from the
Free Methodist Conference: "If you get a congregation large enough to
guarantee a minister a salary of five or six hundred dollars a year, we
will send you a man that believes in holiness." As they did not say that
the minister they would send would have the experience of sanctification,
their letter afforded but little encouragement.

While awaiting the reply of the Free Methodist conference, my brother had
visited the Tennyson schoolhouse where we had held meetings sometime
before. He found that no sect minister had yet demoralized the believers,
and the members were more spiritual than those of any congregation we had
yet visited. This occurrence threw some light on our difficulty. My
brother, as was his usual custom when he had anything of great importance
weighing on his mind, resorted to prayer. As it was March and the weather
quite cool, he put on his overcoat and went out to spend the day alone
until he got the leadings of the Lord.

God began to show him the sin of division. Jeremiah did not see matters
very clearly yet, for he asked the Lord how we could get along without any
human organization. The Lord asked him what good they had done, and brought
to his mind the fact that it was only the spiritual ones, those who had not
partaken of the spirit of division, that God could use to any advantage. My
brother then inquired of the Lord how this sin of division had been brought
about, and the Lord showed him that he could find the answer to his
question in history.

When my brother had an opportunity to read history, he found that every
sect builder told his own story. He saw that not one of the human
organizations measured to the pattern of the New Testament church, and that
since the sects have human founders, they could not be the church of God as
that institution is of divine origin.

My brother then went back to the Tennyson schoolhouse, and preached his
first sermon on the subject of the unity of God's people. The people
joyfully accepted the truth and walked in the light. Jeremiah thought that
when I heard what God had revealed to him I would be rejoiced; but, to his
surprise, I could not yet discern the body of Christ. I was still under the
influence of the wine of Babylon.

Our meetings had been attended with excellent results. Many souls had
sought the Lord. In one meeting, which lasted three or four weeks, the
whole country was stirred. Many young men and even whole families got under
deep conviction. After a day spent in fasting and prayer, we came together
in the evening, and conviction settled so heavily upon the people and God
worked so mightily that we labored at the altar until two o'clock in the
morning. Almost every seat was an altar. Rain was falling, and the brush
arbor in which the meeting was held did not protect the congregation; but
the interest was so great that the seekers paid no attention to the water
that constantly dripped through the boughs overhead. About twenty souls, I
think, sought the Lord that night. During the whole series of meetings, a
large number were saved.

About this time Sister Julia Meyers, now of Ima, New Mexico, joined our
company, and for some months, traveled with us in the work. She had been
healed before coming to us; but she got light on the one church in our
meetings. The Lord had been teaching me to more fully trust him for
temporal needs as well as for spiritual benefits. When Sister Meyers joined
our company, I began to teach her the things that God had been showing me.
I saw that she needed help. First she began borrowing money from me now and
then to get what she needed. I felt that I should give her the money.
Later, when I needed a pair of shoes, she began to feel that she should get
them for me. She had enough money to buy the shoes, but found it a little
difficult to obey the impression.

In the meantime I was earnestly praying for the shoes. God made me to
understand that my prayer had gone through, and that I could have had the
shoes sooner, had I prayed more earnestly. I was upstairs. It came to me,
"How do you know but that the shoes are downstairs waiting for you?" In
less than five minutes I was called downstairs; and, sure enough, there
were the shoes. At first I did not know where they came from; but Sister
Meyers was so blessed in her obedience and sacrifice that she could not
keep her secret, and we praised the Lord together.

As I was preaching the straight gospel of salvation from sin,
sanctification, and divine healing, it was to be expected that I should
meet with opposition. I met with some very peculiar and unexpected
persecutions. Falsehoods were told about me that should have shamed the
devil himself. One rumor was that I was one of the famous outlaws, known as
the "James Boys," disguised as a woman. One of the truth fighters published
a long account of my meetings in the county newspaper. He branded me as an
impostor, saying that I taught false doctrines. He affirmed that
sanctification and divine healing were not for the people of the present
day, that no one but Enoch and Elijah had been sanctified, both of whom
went to heaven without dying. He ended his tirade against me by saying that
I ought to be driven out of the country, and that he would join a mob
raised for that purpose.

A Methodist lady, who no doubt had some understanding of Bible doctrine,
replied to the gentleman with an article, in which she said that the
Wesleys taught sanctification, and George Mueller, divine healing. "If,"
said she, "the gentleman would read more, he would be better informed.
There is some hope yet for 'Tom Paine,'" referring to the fictitious name
signed to his article. I did not know of this wordy battle until it was
ended.

At times my brother would hold a meeting at one place and at the same time
I would hold one a few miles distant. It was at one such time that I held a
meeting in the county courthouse. I was assisted by a brother of the M. E.
South denomination--a young college student, with but little experience in
gospel work, thought that he could not preach unless he had his sermons
written out. We preached on alternate evenings. One evening he came to me
and said, "I wish you would occupy the pulpit tonight. I have been away and
have had no chance for preparation." I told him that I had not had time for
preparation either. "Sister Cole," he replied, "you can preach better
without preparation than I can with preparation, besides, I haven't had my
supper yet." "Perhaps you could preach better without supper," said I. Thus
I held him to his duty and did not sympathize with him very much either.
That night he had to lean so hard on God that many people said it was the
best message they had ever heard him deliver.

Perhaps no young preacher going out in gospel work ever felt his inability
more than I. As God had promised to be my sufficiency, I leaned hard upon
him and did not feel discouraged. My education was so limited, that
sometimes during a sermon, while trying to explain the Scriptures, I would
lack words to express myself, and would look to the Lord, taking him as my
wisdom. On such occasions he would supply me with words, and by his Spirit
show me how to use them. Later, upon looking in the dictionary, I would
find that they had been used correctly. This experience has been repeated
many times in my ministry. Thus the Lord proved true his promise to be my
spokesman. When I leaned on him, I was never confounded; no, not once.
Truly our God is a covenant-keeping God, whom we can trust under all
circumstances and at all times.

When the Lord healed me, he bestowed upon me the gift of exhortation and
with it such a great measure of the Spirit's power that when I read the
Scriptures, there was a heavenly illumination upon it, and I could see a
sermon in almost every verse. At times the strength of this heavenly light
so dazzled me that my mind and body were well-nigh overwhelmed. I studied
and preached the Word under a light whose brightness could come only from
the Spirit of the Lord, and I by spiritual sight could see through the
Scriptures with a vision as unclouded as the vision before my natural eyes
when looking through a clear glass. Oh, it was wonderful! I have always
thought that God blessed me with this divine unfolding of the Scriptures
because I did not at all depend upon my own human understanding, but leaned
wholly upon him at the very time that I was studying or expounding the
Word. As I became accustomed to this heavenly light, I was not so much
dazzled by its brilliancy, but the gift of exhortation with its
accompaniment of divine power, has been mine, except for one brief time,
throughout my ministry.

As I went from place to place preaching, I began to realize that I needed
another gift of the Spirit--the gift of teaching. When the Lord first
impressed me that he wanted me to teach, I begged off, saying that I
stammered so that it was very hard for me to read. The Lord pitied me and
took another plan to get me to do what he desired. Up to this time I had
great freedom and much help in exhorting, but now God seemed to have taken
this gift from me, and I became as one who had never had it. The Lord
showed me that I would have to trust him for ability to teach and to
explain the Word, and for help to overcome my stammering, or I would have
no gift at all. So I got down and cried to him like a child and plead with
him for help.

When the Lord saw that I was determined to obey him, he not only gave me
the gift of teaching; but, to my surprise, he restored to me the gift of
exhortation and let me exercise it as in days gone by. Surely the Lord
humored me. I now had two gifts instead of one. But I would not advise
others to do as I did, for though the Lord has no respect of person, you
may have more light than I had at that time, and it may be that the Lord
would not excuse you because of ignorance, as he excused me.

Quite early in my evangelistic work I held a meeting in a neighborhood
where lived a man who had been an M. E. exhorter. He had once been saved,
so the neighbors said, but having accepted a false doctrine that was being
taught in that part of the country, and having partaken of its spirit, he
was in a bad condition when I went there. He had rejected Christ entirely,
saying that Jesus was nothing but an impostor.

Sometime before I went to the neighborhood, one of his children had gotten
saved, and during the meeting that I held, another one had also come to
Christ. Knowing their father's condition, the children feared his
persecution and insisted that I should come and visit him. They thought
that if I went to the house with them he would be more considerate. For
their sakes, I went. I had heard that his practise was to invite ministers
to his house, and then to belittle Christ in their presence, to give them
no opportunity to return thanks, and to make them feel as far as possible
his opposition to Christ.

After some conversation, he took down the Bible--the Old Testament I mean,
he had no New Testament in the house--and told me that he was going to
prove to me that Christ had never come. I told him that he could not do
that, because by experience I knew that Christ had come. "If," said I, "you
are going to try to prove to me that Christ has not come, you have gotten
hold of the wrong person. I would stake my life that Christ has come. I
have met the conditions prescribed in his Word, and he has given me the
witness of my salvation, and has also healed me."

I tried in various ways to see if there was a tender spot in his heart that
God could touch. Among other things, I said, "When I first started out in
the work of the Lord, I wrote to my mother saying, 'I have found many good
friends. All who are Jesus' friends,' I wrote, 'are my friends.' But," I
continued, "I suppose I have now found a man who is not a friend of Jesus,
and yet is my friend." I thought this would shame him. "Yes," he answered,
"I am your friend, but not his." I returned thanks at the table and also
asked him the privilege of praying before I left. The Spirit of God
intimidated him till he did not dare to refuse me. Never did the name of
Jesus seem half so sweet to me as when I got down to pray before this
wicked man. It seemed as though all the sweetness of heaven was wrapped up
in that name. I could say but little: I could only breathe out the precious
name of Jesus; and oh, how he magnified himself through His name! Although
I felt the presence of infernal spirits all around me--the very spirit that
crucified Christ--yet I felt the presence, too, of the blessed Lord, the
Christ of the Bible.

Still thinking that I might say something that would touch his heart, I
said, as I was about to leave, "Pray for me." He said, "I will; and you
pray for me: but not in the name of Jesus;" adding a moment later, "but I
know that you will do as you please anyhow." I felt then that unless God
directly ordered it, I never wanted to go again to a place where Christ was
so entirely rejected. I thought of the scripture which says that they had
forgotten that they were once purged. If ever I met a man who had sinned
against the Holy Ghost, this was certainly the man.

In the early years of my ministry, I sometimes found that when the Lord was
burdening my heart to preach on certain subjects my sympathy stood in the
way; that is, I was afraid I would hurt somebody's feelings. One night I
dreamed that another minister and I were standing near a large casket
containing two dead bodies. It seemed that God wanted us to dissect these
two bodies, and I said to the minister who was with me, "Brother, we had
better get to work before the stench fills the room."

When I awoke I knew that God was trying to teach me something. Just a few
days afterwards I went across the country accompanied by the brother, and
his wife, of whom I had dreamed. Some of the congregation at the place
where we were going to hold meeting on the next Sunday, were professing to
be saved, and at the same time were living in adultery. Some others needed
warning in regard to other sins. The Lord wanted me to preach to these
people showing them where they stood; but, because of my sympathy for them,
I did not want to handle the subject. The I ord reminded me that I had
promised to preach his Word on any subject. "Yes, Lord," said I, "but I
sympathize so with these people! I would rather be whipped from head to
foot than to preach on this subject at this time." I preached, talking
first on one subject and then another, and not coming to anything definite,
entirely failing to give them that portion of the Word that they so much
needed.

That night I took very sick. It seemed that I should die. I did not know
what was the matter. I asked the Lord why I was suffering so; and he
reminded me that I had said that I would rather be whipped from head to
foot than to preach on the subject he had given me, and that now the
whipping had come. When God administers correction, he always does a
thorough work. I begged earnestly that he would take his hand off,
promising him faithfully that I would never grieve him in that way any
more; but I saw that I lacked sufficient Holy Ghost boldness to carry out
my decision if I continued to sympathize with those for whom the message
was intended. So I asked the Lord earnestly for help, telling him that if
he wanted to use me in dissecting, he must give me the ability. The lesson
has never had to be repeated.

During my earlier ministry an incident occurred which to some might seem
amusing; but which to me furnished an excellent spiritual illustration. A
class-leader of the M. E. South denomination came a number of miles across
the country to take me to a certain place to help in a meeting. We had to
ford the Gasconade river. It was winter, and the ice was frozen thick.
Before we reached the river, some men had cut a road through the ice, so
that people could cross on horseback. As we rode out into the stream the
flowing water seemed to affect me strangely. It seemed to me that the
brother who was with me was trying to pull me off of the horse and drown
me. I said, "Don't, don't, it is all I can do to stay on now." When we
reached the other side, the brother broke into a hearty laugh: "Sister
Cole, did you think I was trying to drown you? I saw that the water made
you dizzy, and that you were about to fall off the horse. It was all I
could do to keep you from drowning."

Many times since then I have thought of this incident, as an illustration
of a certain spiritual condition. When a person gets somewhat cold
spiritually, the doctrines of the church become indistinct, and,
spiritually speaking, his head begins to swim. At such a time he is likely
to think that those who are endeavoring to help him out of his difficulties
are trying to drown him; that they are in spiritual trouble themselves and
that they are trying to pull him into the same difficulty.

At another time I was going to a meeting near the place of which I have
just told you, and had to cross the same river. It was earlier in the fall;
and the Gasconade, although badly swollen, had not yet frozen. The boy who
was with me, feared that the river was too high for fording, and asked what
we should do. As the appointment had already been made for me, I feared
that the people would be disappointed and told him we would better go
across if we could. "Shall I go across first and see how deep the water
is?" he asked. I told him I thought that would be the better way. He found
the water to be deep enough to swim our horses, but thought that we might
get across, although we would risk our lives in the attempt. He said that
if I wanted to run the risk, he was willing. God protected us and we
reached the other side in safety.

The young man said to some of his friends afterwards, that he was afraid we
would both drown, but that he would not let a woman back him out. "I knew,"
said he "that if she drowned, she would be saved; but that if I drowned, I
should be lost." I certainly appreciated his generosity in risking his life
to help me.

While holding meetings in that neighborhood, this same young man and his
brother, although unsaved, befriended me in every way possible, because
they knew that I had come there to do the people good. Their sisters, who
professed religion, also manifested great friendliness for me. At one time
when some sectarian holiness fighters tried to shut me out of the
schoolhouse, the two brothers defended me like lawyers, won the case, and
secured the use of the house for as long as I desired to hold meetings.
Whenever I needed a conveyance, I had only to call on these young men.

I met a brother young in the ministry who had a very clear definite
experience of justification and sanctification, and who had had a very
definite call. He had had, however, but very little experience in tests and
trials, and was therefore not qualified to be the blessing to young
converts or to young workers that he might have been. As he had been so
victorious in his religious experience, he thought that trials and tests
were a sign of weakness, and that those who had them were spiritual
weaklings. Whenever a young convert or worker had a test or a trial of
faith, and needed special help or encouragement, he would think, "Oh, well
it isn't worth while to bother with him; he doesn't amount to much anyway.
He will not stand, and if he does, he won't ever be very useful in the
Lord's cause. He is not worthy of any attention."

God let this brother go through deep waters. He had a severe test; and when
he came through, his compassion was much increased, and his care and
consideration for the young converts and those in trouble was all that
could be desired. He did not find any one then unworthy his consideration.
He had learned that every soul worth Christ's dying for, is worth all the
effort we can make, either for its deliverance or its establishment. Well
did the Psalmist say, "When I was in trouble thou hast enlarged my steps."
The Psalmist got the enlargement right in the trial, just as we often do.
Much of our development is obtained in the furnace of trial; in fact, I
believe most of it. Let us be thankful, therefore, for the dispensation of
God's grace, whether it be bestowed by trial or in sunshine; whether it
comes in storm or in calm, knowing that God allows all for our highest
good.

Quite early in our evangelistic labors my brother saw that I had been
leaning too much on him. Frequently when God wanted me to deliver a
message, I would hold back and let my brother preach instead. I was not
getting the experience I should, nor being as useful in the Lord's work as
I might. My brother thought that if he should leave me to work alone for a
time, the Lord would have a chance to help me more. He therefore began
leaving me to hold meetings alone for weeks at a time, while he held
services in some nearby neighborhood. Naturally, I felt somewhat fearful
about being left to carry on the work alone; but the Lord helped me and
enabled me to hold a number of good successful meetings.

At one of these meetings God had been answering prayer and conviction was
falling heavily upon the people. The whole neighborhood seemed stirred, and
crowds were at the altar. Fathers and mothers came seeking salvation. A
few, however, among them a Campbellite minister, came with the intention of
causing trouble. He wanted a chance, he said to tell the people how to find
Jesus. I asked him what he would tell them. "Obey the commendments." "What
commandments?" "Join the church and be baptized." "If you have a message
from God," said I, "we will hear it; but, if you have not, we will not hear
it. Souls are at the altar and their eternal interests are at stake. This
is too serious a time to deliver a message not from God." He arose and went
out, accompanied by the man who had come with him. When the sinners laughed
at him, he said, "If you had had such hot testimonies thrown into your
faces, you would have left too." When this same minister came to another
meeting to disturb, God got hold of him and brought him to the altar. I
don't think he got an experience, but he made no more attempts to disturb
the meeting.

Every time the enemy undertook to hinder the work, God marvelously helped
us. At one time a certain minister came to try to look me out of
countenance while I was preaching. His plan was to confuse me so that I
could not preach. The enemy knew that if I became the least bit confused, I
would stammer so that I could hardly talk. God was present to help me. He
so confounded the man that before the service was over, his head went down
and I had no more trouble with him.

At different times I held meetings of three or four week's duration,
preaching twice every day and three times on Sunday. I had no help in the
preaching, and but very little at the altar service. There were many people
at the altar seeking God and the work was very heavy. The Lord wonderfully
sustained me. The fact that I went through such fatiguing experiences as
these, laboring sometimes far into the night, shows how wonderfully God had
healed me, and how he was sustaining me in my work.

Experience alone will show how much the dear Lord can help us physically as
well as spiritually if we but trust him. Unbelief and doubts hinder God
from being to us our sufficiency at all times and under all circumstances.
Faith will take hold of God for things beyond the comprehension of our
natural minds. The Word says, "All things are possible with God"; "All
things are possible to him that believeth." As we trust in the Lord, he
will honor our faith and give us the desire of our hearts.




Chapter XII

Out of Sectarian Confusion

I was still a Methodist. The Methodist did not license women to preach; but
when the preachers found out that God was using me in the salvation of
souls and that I was not especially interested in building up any certain
denomination, I had an abundance of calls.

God had already begun talking to my brother Jeremiah about the sin of
division, and he was beginning to see the evils of sectarianism. The winter
after I was healed, he had attended the Jacksonville, Illinois, holiness
convention, and had met there Bro. D. S. Warner, who at that time was
editor of a holiness paper, _The Herald of Gospel Freedom_, then
published at Rome City, Ind. Brother Warner was already beginning to
discern the unity of God's people, but he had not yet received enough light
on the subject to sever his connection with the Winebrennerian
denomination, of which he was a member. It was about the time of the
Jacksonville meeting that _The Herald of Gospel Freedom_ was
consolidated with _The Pilgrim_, a small holiness paper published at
Indianapolis, Indiana.

While at the Jacksonville meeting, Jeremiah subscribed for _The
Pilgrim_ and had it sent to me at Windsor, Missouri, as I had not yet
begun gospel work.

I received only a few numbers of _The Pilgrim_, as that publication
was consolidated with _The Herald of Gospel Freedom_ January 1, 1881,
under the name _The Gospel Trumpet_. At a later date, when Brother
Warner had full light on the church, _The Gospel Trumpet_ was no
longer considered a consolidation of the two papers, but an entirely new
publication. The first issue of _The Trumpet_ (January 1, 1881)
represented a new paper and was later designated as Vol. 1, No. 1. When the
publication of _The Pilgrim_ ceased, Brother Warner began to send me
_The Gospel Trumpet_ to finish out the unexpired time of my
subscription to _The Pilgrim_.

During my brother's absence in evangelistic work I received several copies
of _The Trumpet_. As soon as I read in _The Trumpet_ about the
sin of division and saw that the new paper opposed the licensing of
preachers, my sectarian spirit was stirred. I thought that holiness would
make the churches, as I called them, better. I was afraid that if people
got hold of such literature as _The Trumpet_ it would disgust them
with holiness forever. I burned _The Trumpets_ I had already received,
and then sat down and wrote Brother Warner never to send me another copy.
As I was traditionized, and had opposed the truth in ignorance, the Lord
did not hold my opposition as a wilful sin.

After my brother had got light on the one body, he was so enthused with the
truth that he wanted to explain it to every one he met. While out walking
one day the next summer after he discerned the one body, he fell into
conversation with a man about the Scriptures. After talking a little while
the man said, "I have a paper that reads just as you talk." Going to the
house, he brought out _The Gospel Trumpet_ and gave it to my brother,
who went down the road reading as he went. He never stopped reading until
he had finished the paper. At the earliest opportunity my brother wrote a
letter to Brother Warner, asking him if he had enough light on the one body
to set it clearly before the people. He also asked him if many were
accepting this divine truth. To the first question Brother Warner replied,
"Yes," and to the second, "Yes, hundreds are discerning the one body." As
soon as my brother learned that Brother Warner and many others had the same
truth that God had made so clear and beautiful to him, he rejoiced greatly.
He could not rest until he went where Brother Warner was; but, as I had
neglected to walk in the light, I was left alone, and that, too, in more
ways than one.

Some time before I discerned the body of Christ, I had some impressive
dreams. In one I thought I was in a large building belonging to some
denomination. A conference of that denomination was being held just outside
the door, and the ministers wanted me to come and take part. I looked
toward the door through which I must pass, and I saw two large worms with
their heads together, lying directly across the threshold. In order to
enter the room, I would have to step over the worms and would be in great
danger of receiving a deadly bite. I said to myself, "I will not run the
risk for any man's notions or ways"; and, turning on my heel, I went out of
another door.

I soon saw my dream fulfilled. The denomination that I had been holding a
meeting for insisted that I should join their conference, saying that they
would give me a license so that I could hold meetings in their territory. I
knew that, according to their discipline, they could not license a woman to
preach; and I said to the minister, "You don't dare to give me a license."
"Well," said he, "I will tell you what you can do, Sister Cole; we can go
to a place not far from here where you have had a good meeting, lay this
matter before the people, and have them vote to give you a permit, so that
you can hold meetings in any part of our district." I did not feel at all
led to take such steps; and, as I had done in my dream, I turned in the
other direction. I suppose God was using this method to get me ready for
the truth.

The summer before I got out of sectarianism, an M. E. South minister
invited me to come to their new chapel, to attend the quarterly conference,
and to help hold a series of meetings. As the M. E. South denomination did
not license women preachers, women were not allowed at the quarterly
conference. They had arranged, however, that several other women and I
should sit in a room adjoining the conference, so that we could hear the
proceedings. This was on Saturday. On Sunday morning they held their
quarterly love-feast, partook of the Lord's Supper, and listened to a
sermon by the presiding elder.

In the afternoon and the evening, I preached. While the afternoon service
was in progress, the ministers were holding a private meeting to decide
whether or not I should proceed with the meeting I had come to hold. In
this part of the country was a wealthy man, a sinner, who contributed very
liberally to the support of the work. This man objected to women's
preaching and opposed the continuance of the meeting.

It was decided that the meeting should not continue, but the pastor of the
congregation did not tell me. The pastor and his wife were both present at
the service on Monday night, and both seemed well pleased. On Tuesday
evening the interest began to increase, and one or two raised their hands
for prayer. Just at the close of the service a note was handed me
requesting me to close the meeting, as they had decided not to continue at
the present time, but to wait until later in the season.

I could not keep from crying. I had called the Methodist Church my mother;
and now to think that my mother was treating me in this way, made me feel
very bad. I went home with a young couple who had been saved a short time
before in a meeting held near this place. They felt very bad over what had
happened, and we all cried together. The young people tried to encourage me
as best they could.

Next day they took me to their aunt's, a special friend of mine, who had
shown me kindness while I was in that neighborhood before. As we went along
the road, I thought to myself, "Any one treated as I have been ought to
look sneaking"; and I tried to think of everything I could to make me look
that way. When we arrived at our destination, the sister was not in the
room, so I hunted the smallest chair I could find, and sat down. As soon as
she came in, she saw that I was in trouble and inquired what was the
matter. I began to tell her, crying at the same time; but she began to
laugh. Well, she laughed and I cried; but after a while I took to laughing
too. I never again felt bad about my treatment at that place.

I still continued to get calls from the sectarian preachers to go and help
hold meetings. I responded to these, and held two or three meetings in
different places. Late that fall I held a meeting at Rolla, Mo. The
preacher could hardly get an audience when he preached, so he sent for me,
thinking that a woman preacher would be quite an attraction and would draw
crowds. The crowds came. Although there were a number of ministers present,
including the presiding elder, I occupied the pulpit, I think, during half
of that meeting. Conviction came upon the people, and a number came to the
altar; but not many of those who came, seemed to get an experience.

On the last night of the meeting quite a number of bright, intelligent
young people, some of them college students came to the altar and some of
them were getting saved. As the minister went to talk with the seekers one
by one, God put it into my heart to listen to what they were saying. Not
once did these preachers say, "Seek the Lord until you find him;" "There is
reality in salvation;" "Never stop until you know you are saved." Their
instructions were: "Join the church;" "Get baptized," etc. God opened my
eyes right there to the awful work that these so-called ministers were
doing. I said, "If they are going to help deceive souls that way and send
them to destruction, I will never help them again." That was the last
meeting in which I ever helped to build up Babylon.

Collections were taken up for the ministers and for the general expenses of
the meeting, but no one ever said to me, "Do you need any means?" One of
the sisters, however, found out that I had a little money, and she asked me
to give it to her to use in buying a little clothing for me so I would be
suitably dressed to preach in their meeting. I felt that even this was too
good for me, because I had failed to walk in the light.

At the close of the meeting, to my surprise, I found myself under a wrong
spirit. I went to Bro. John P. Bailey and wife, who had accepted the truth
when Jeremiah preached his first sermon on the church at that place. I told
Brother and Sister Bailey my condition as best I could, and the three of us
fasted and prayed three days. God delivered me from the false spirit, gave
me light on the one body, the church, and made me glad to walk in the light
as fast as it was revealed.

Bro. Jake Cruts came to ask my advice on the subject of baptism. "Sister
Cole," said he, "what do you think about baptism: is it a commandment of
God? If so, what is the correct mode?" Before I could answer him, he
continued, "I suppose we shall never know the right mode." "I believe,"
said I, "if we are sincere and come to God in earnest prayer, he will show
us his will, even if the scripture on that doctrine has been wrongly
translated." The brother agreed with me, and I said, "Let us get down and
pray." While we were on our knees, God made me to understand that in the
near future, he would make known to me his will on the subject of baptism.

I told the brother who was kneeling with me what God had shown me; but it
seemed that I needed to be humbled still more. At this time I received
another _Trumpet_ in which there was an article by D. S. Warner on the
subject of baptism. I said to myself, "He is nothing but a Baptist preacher
anyway," and found myself going into gross darkness. For about two hours it
seemed that I was bound for hell. I cried out, "O Lord! why is it that
after you have used me in the salvation of souls, some of whom no doubt are
in the glory-world, I must now be lost?" The Lord made me understand that I
was not responsible for not having been baptized, as I had no knowledge of
the teaching of the Scriptures on this subject, but that I was responsible
for my present light. He showed me that, if I would walk in the light, I
should not be lost. I decided then and there to walk in every ray of light
that God gave me.

As members of the M. E. Church, my parents had had me sprinkled when I was
a child, and up to this time I had had no light on baptism. When I had
opportunity and I was buried in baptism, God wonderfully witnessed that I
was being baptized in his order.

My first text after I got light on the one body of Christ, was Jeremiah
1:6-10 and 17-19. A short time before this I had held a meeting with an M.
E. South preacher, who now seemed to stand before me like an obstructing
mountain. As I began my sermon, I seemed to see him in that capacity.
Before I was through delivering the message, however, God had lifted me
above the mountain, so that I was never again troubled in that way.

My name was still on the M. E. class-book; but God showed me that I ought
to have it removed, and how to have it removed. I sent for my church letter
and trusted the Lord to direct me how to dispose of it. One Sunday after a
sermon had been delivered on the church of God, I rose and told the
congregation about the church letter, told them that the Lord had shown me
that I could not have two valid contracts for my entire service with two
different parties at the same time. I said, "I have decided that the
contract between God and my soul is the more important one." Then I
proceeded to tear up my letter, and God sent his mighty power, witnessing
that my contract with the Lord was ratified in heaven. So much of heaven
came down, and the glory world seemed so near, that I seemed attached to
heaven, not by a cord, but by a mighty cable. I shall never be able to
express how satisfied I was with God's church. Some sectarian preachers
prophesied that I should soon be back preaching for the denominations. One
of them was heard to say, "If I knew that Mary Cole would come and help us
in a meeting, I would send for her; but I am afraid she won't." I never got
any more special calls from Babylon.

Shortly after I got light on the one body, however, the devil laid a snare
for me. I saw the snare before I got into it, and God's Word was fulfilled:
"In vain is the net spread in the sight of any bird." It happened in this
way: A certain man who was starting a new sect tried to interest all he
could in his project. He did not call his new religious movement by any
special name and professed not to have anything to join. He would have the
people come and shake hands, inferring that in so doing they were not
joining anything, but were merely showing their mutual love and fellowship.
In order to be an encouragement to any that might really be trying to live
for the Lord, I went up and shook hands with the preacher and others. After
we had shaken hands, his design became apparent. He seated me and a few
others on one side of the platform and called for others to come and shake
hands with us. The Lion of the tribe of Judah began to roar in my soul. I
got up very quickly, and the plan was defeated.

A common remark made to me by sectarians was, "You ought to join some
denomination so that you will be inside the pale of the church," thus
inferring that because I did not belong to a human organization, I was not
in good pasture, but outside on the commons with poor, ill-fed stock. I
understood the figure of speech very well, for I was brought up on a farm
where the garden was enclosed with palings. Between these palings were
spaces through which small animals could get in and destroy the
vegetables--a very good illustration of the sectarian churches surrounded
by their palings, through which unclean spirits can slip in and destroy the
flock. In the church of God I feel secure; because God has appointed
salvation for her walls and bulwarks (Isaiah 26:1), and through these
neither evil spirits, nor even the devil himself can penetrate.

I was educated to believe, and in this way I often expressed myself, that
the M. E. denomination was my spiritual mother. This idea remained with me
until I got light on the sin of division and was spiritually able to
discern the bride of Christ. Then I saw that "Jerusalem from above is the
mother of us all." I saw plainly that if I had two mothers, one must be a
stepmother. While my mother was living I never cared to have a stepmother.
The prophecies of Scripture so unmistakably point to the one church, the
body of Christ, that they can be but poorly explained by those who are
trying to make them conform to sectarian theology. I am content with the
church of God, with Christ as the door, and nothing inside but the holy
throng.

Besides, in sectarianism I did not have freedom in my ministry. I could
preach only as the sect ministers suggested. If God gave me more light, and
I tried to give it to the people, I was likely to receive a rebuke. I
remember that at one time while I was holding a meeting for some
denomination, God led me to preach on holiness. In the very beginning of
the meeting they had advised me not to preach on this subject. What was I
to do? The Lord reminded that I had promised I would preach any part of his
Word whenever and wherever he led me to do so. He now brought me face to
face with the question, "What will you do?" I said, "Lord, I will obey you
if you will stand by me." The Lord assured me that he would. I preached on
sanctification as a distinct second work of grace, God witnessing to the
message by his mighty power. After the service, the minister who had placed
the restrictions upon me, said, "Sister Cole, that is the best sermon you
preached during the whole meeting." I answered, "I knew that the things you
didn't want were the things you needed."

After the Lord had led me into the precious truth of the oneness of his
people, I was much better satisfied with what God did with me and through
me, with the meetings I held, and with the results attained. Although at
times not as many people professed salvation now as when I was preaching
for the denomination, yet those who got saved reached a settled experience,
being satisfied that they were in God's order. They were not looking around
for something that more nearly represented the truth. As a minister I was
satisfied, knowing that I was delivering the whole counsel of God. No one
ever can be satisfied who is not walking in every ray of light that God
turns on his pathway.




Chapter XIII

The Evening Light

This chapter is an article written by the author many years after she had
received light on the unity of the church. It will acquaint the reader with
what is meant by the expression "evening light."

  "At evening time it shall be light."

"And it shall come to pass in that day, that the light shall not be clear,
nor dark: but it shall be one day which shall be known to the Lord, not
day, nor night: but it shall come to pass, that at evening time it shall be
light" (Zechariah 14:6,7). The expression "evening light" suggests the
thought that there was at one time morning light. The New Testament
dispensation is sometimes called the gospel day. Like the natural day, this
gospel day has its morning and evening.

When the New Testament church was first set in order; when this Holy Ghost
dispensation was ushered in; when the gospel day began there was a
wonderful outburst of light and power from the glory-world. "The people
which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region
and shadow of death light is sprung up" (Matthew 4:16). As a result of this
mighty flood of power and light, the place where the saints were assembled
was shaken (Acts 2:1-7), the dead were raised to life, the blind were made
to see, the deaf to hear, the dumb to speak the lame to walk, all manner of
diseases were healed, thousands upon thousands were converted to God, and
many signs and wonders were wrought in the name of the holy child Jesus. We
also read of Paul's wonderful conversion, of Peter's deliverance from
prison, and of many who were delivered from devils. Oh, what wonderful
light God shed upon the hearts of men at that time!

The shining of this glorious light not only enlightened the minds of those
who received it; but it also revealed the effects of past traditions and
brushed them away. The light also revealed the New Testament life and
experience, far exceeding the standard under the law. The word says, "Light
makes manifest"; so under the gospel rays every one's condition was
revealed. The light not only showed the people their sins, but also showed
them how to get rid of them, and then how later to get sanctified wholly.
"For this is the will of God, even your sanctification" (1 Thesselonians
4:3).

This, of course, is a much higher standard than was raised under the law.
The law was, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, love your neighbor and hate your
enemy; but when the gospel light revealed God's will in this dispensation,
all people became so responsible because of the knowledge of divine truth
revealed to them and the unmeasured divine power bestowed upon them that it
was consistent to raise the standard where people would love their enemies
and do good to those who despitefully treated them. Nor did their love stop
with that; it so increased toward one another that "all that believed were
together, and had all things common; and sold their possessions and goods,
and parted them to all men, as every man had need" (Acts 2:44,45).

In many particulars far too numerous to mention can it be shown that the
New Testament standard was raised far above the law standard, showing God's
compassion to fallen man. For example, consider the woman taken in
adultery. The law said, "Stone her to death"; but Jesus said, "Neither do I
condemn thee; go and sin no more." Notice also his compassion toward the
Syrophenician woman, who was considered a Gentile dog; toward the people
when he performed the miracles of the loaves and fishes; toward the
multitude when he fed enemies as well as friends. Again, when the disciples
wanted to call down fire from heaven to destroy some who had opposed them,
Jesus said, "I am not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them." Jesus
loved the people so well that he healed even the man in the tombs who was
possessed with a legion of devils, and also the ear of the servant of the
high priest who was then helping to arrest him. It was his compassion that
sent out the disciples to heal the sick, to raise the dead, and to cast out
devils. All these things were a result of the burning light that shone
forth in the morning of this gospel day.

We see that God's church in the beginning was a mighty moving power--a
means in God's hands to bring deliverance and salvation to souls, and
healing to afflicted bodies. The work done and the signs wrought all so far
exceeded what had been done before that the people were made to exclaim,
"We never saw it on this fashion." Jesus summed it up well when he said,
"The blind received their sight, and the lame walk, the lepers are
cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the
gospel preached to them. And blessed is he whosoever shall not be offended
in me" (Matthew 11:5,6). If from the morning time until now the light had
continued to shine with unclouded brightness, who knows how much might have
been done toward the salvation of the world! But, alas! the prophecy must
needs be fulfilled: "And it shall come to pass in that day, saith the Lord
God, that I will cause the sun to go down at noon, and I will darken the
earth in the clear day" (Amos 8:9). In Paul's time he said, "For the
mystery of iniquity doth already work" (2 Thessalonians 2:7).

It was not long until the people began to drift away from God, to
substitute outward form for inward experience, and penance for faith.
Heresies sprang up. Men lost sight of the church of God, and began to form
creeds, and to build up man-made institutions. The first creed was formed
in A. D.



325. Men drifted farther and farther away from the way of the Lord, and
plunged into gross darkness, until they could even kill the saints and
think they were doing God's service. They also fell to worshiping images
after the manner of the heathen, and doing many other like things. This
departure from light brought about a serious state of affairs; so great was
the persecution of God's true children that they were hunted for their
lives, and had to hide in dens and caves of the earth. History tells us
that death was the penalty for having in possession a New Testament. With
such a penalty hanging over the people of God, not many would be professing
that did not have the experience. It doubtless took a martyr's consecration
to keep a real Christian experience in those days, and it is equally as
much needed in these perilous times.

This reign of gross darkness continued hundreds of years. "Behold, the days
come, saith the Lord God, that I will send a famine in the land, not a
famine of bread, nor thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the
Lord" (Amos 8:11). But God had designed to bring again his children out of
darkness. He proceeded to do so by giving light to such men as Wycliffe,
Huss, Luther, and others. History tells us that when light came to Luther,
he was steeped in Catholicism, so much so that he was trying to gain favor
with God by various acts of penance. On one occasion while he was climbing
the "holy stairs" at Rome on his hands and knees, the Lord thundered in his
soul that salvation is by faith in Christ alone. We have no account of
Luther's getting light beyond justification, but the reformation did not
cease with him. Later the Lord gave to the Wesleys, Fletcher, Hester Ann
Rogers, and others, greater light on his Word, showing the privilege not
only of justification but also of sanctification. As the departure from the
light and whole truth in the morning of the gospel day was a gradual
process, so the return to the light has been gradual. The Lord shed some
light on the world through Huss, some through Luther, and some through the
Wesleys and others, thus restoring the full light according to his own
plan.

While God wonderfully used these men to shed light on the world in their
day, yet many effects of the apostasy were clinging to them. Divine healing
in their day was almost unknown or known to but few, and likewise the gifts
of the Spirit. Wesley himself testified that he did not possess any of the
gifts of the Spirit, and did not think that any one else did. No one in
Wesley's time, so far as we know, discerned the one body and the unity of
God's children. The one who perhaps came nearest to discerning the body of
Christ was either Wesley or Fletcher. In their correspondence with each
other, one said in substance the following: "In searching the Word on the
unity of God's children, I see that the Scriptures relating to the
gathering of God's children into one body must be fulfilled before the end;
but I scarcely think we are yet on the threshold of that period." He
expressed his desire to see that time by saying, "God hasten the day." No
doubt if these men were living today, and walking in the light as they were
at that time, they would readily fall into line with the church in this
evening time.

"At evening time it shall be light." That this scripture might be
fulfilled, God in his wisdom saw fit to shed more light on the one body and
divine healing, not upon one person alone, but upon a number of his people
in different parts of the world. This light began to break forth about
1880. I wish to call your attention here to the way in which God shed forth
the light on the church of God. In making a new sect, some man becomes the
hub and center, and round him or his ideas revolves the organization. But
God did not center this reform in one man, but gave the light to different
ones in various parts of the world about the same time. The work of the
Holy Spirit upon their hearts in sanctifying them, caused them to see and
flow together. It might be said that the giving of this glorious light was
in one respect similar to the second coming of the Son of man: "As the
lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth even unto the west; so shall
also the coming of the Son of man be." The fact that many persons in
different parts of the world saw this light independently of each other and
at about the same time is one evidence that this movement is God's work and
not man's. Truly this is the evening time, and it is light.

God's will, order, and plan are more fully revealed to his children now
than at any other time since the days of the apostles. The Lord enables us
more clearly to discern the one body and its operations, and to know our
place in it. The gifts of the Spirit are now recognized as belonging
rightfully to God's children, and are sought, obtained and used to the
glory of God. It is now understood that the same purity of heart and life
enjoined by the church in the morning time is not only our privilege to
enjoy, but also the standard to which we must measure, and the doctrine
that we as ministers must both live and preach. The old Babylon doctrine,
"Sin you must," is exposed as a doctrine of devils. The doctrine and
practise of trusting the Lord for healing and at the same time using drugs
and remedies to help the Lord out is cast aside as false, and the true
doctrine of entire trust in God for healing is taught and practised
instead. Truly the prophecy is fulfilled which says, "The light of the moon
shall be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun shall be
sevenfold" (Isaiah 30:26).

At the same time that God is shedding more light on his Word, his plan, and
his holy bride, he is also giving us more light on the workings of Satan
and his deceptive power. As the light shines brighter, of course the battle
waxes hotter between God and the devil, between light and darkness. As the
light reveals the hiding-places of the devil and exposes his works, he is
becoming more and more enraged and is making a desperate fight, for his
time is short. This means much to the true saints in these perilous times.
The enemy is not only doing all he can to hold those who are already under
his power, but is doing all he can to spot the pure bride. Since he already
sways his scepter over the sectarian world, he needs waste no time on them,
but can direct all his energies against the holy remnant.

The harder Satan works, however, the brighter shines the church of God, the
one body, the bride of Christ, the more glorious her splendor and beauty.
Let us beware. Let us watch and pray, that we may be kept pure and clean.
The Lord is the same today as ever, and his promises are as far-reaching.
While it takes more grace to live a holy life at this time, yet the dear
Lord has provided a sufficiency. As a result we have more to enjoy, and
more facilities for doing good. The heavier the responsibilities, the
greater the grace.

It is a thing indeed to be thankful for, that instead of the reign of
conferences and synods, priests and popes, we have the blessed privilege of
living under the loving rule of the holy Trinity, with Christ himself as
the head of the church, and all we are breth-ren. "And I heard as it were
the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the
voice of mighty thunderings, saying Alleluia; for the Lord God omnipotent
reigneth" (Revelation 19:6)

Truly we are highly favored among men. While we are now living in a time of
great spiritual peril, and have to encounter many dangers by the way, yet
we have more to enjoy, and God is more perfectly revealing himself now,
than at any other time since the apostles.

  "Brighter days are sweetly dawning,
  Oh, the glory looms in sight!
  For the cloudy day is waning,
  And the ev'ning shall be light.

  "Misty fogs, so long concealing
  All the hills of mingled night,
  Vanish, all their sin revealing,
  For the ev'ning shall be light.

  "Oh, what golden glory streaming!
  Purer light is coming fast;
  Now in Christ we've found a freedom,
  Which eternally shall last."

Do you not think we should be very thankful since we are the most highly
favored people on earth? "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to
the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful" (Colossians
3:15). Those of us who have been delivered from the dark night of Babylon
confusion, and translated into this glorious light, surely have every kind
of reason for which to be thankful. Therefore "let us be glad and rejoice,
and give honor to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife
hath made herself ready" (Revelation 19:7). "And the kingdom and dominion,
and the greatness of the kingdom under the whole heaven, shall be given to
the people of the saints of the Most High, whose kingdom is an everlasting
kingdom, and all dominions shall serve and obey him" (Daniel 7:27). Read
Daniel 7:15-28.




Chapter XIV

Various Experiences in Gospel Work

Soon after I discerned the one body, my brother and I visited St. James,
Mo. We had labored there but a short time when Brother Warner and his
company came to the town to hold a camp-meeting. When I was first
introduced to Brother Warner, he made the remark, "And so you are the
sister that wanted to stay in Babylon in order to get wolves to take care
of Iambs?" and then broke into a hearty laugh. He referred to my remark
that I was going to continue to work with the sects, so that whenever a
congregation was raised up I could get a sectarian minister to serve as
pastor. I enjoyed Brother Warner's merriment, as I was free from sectarian
bondage. He was truly a man of God; as meek, humble, and Christlike as any
one I have ever met. Meeting him seemed very much like meeting Jesus
himself, He was always ready to comfort and encourage young workers. He
once felt so bad over having neglected to pray for a sister that was
suffering, that he went to the altar and sought forgiveness, although his
neglect had been due to the fact that he was so busy that he could scarcely
have done otherwise than he did.

Before I began traveling with my brother, he had labored at St. James,
where quite a company of saints was raised up. When we visited the town
together, strange things were happening. The members of the congregation
were having peculiar manifestations in their services--jumping, dancing,
and doing other strange things, which they did not know whether to
attribute to God or the devil, but which they thought were of the Lord.

My experience at this time showed that I was not entirely free from the
influence of the traditions that I had received when a child. In my early
years I had been instructed that different bodily demonstrations, such as
dancing, jumping, etc., which occurred in the sect meetings some fifty
years before, were all of God. When, therefore, we visited this little
town, we accepted all their demonstrations as being of God. I even let some
who were possessed with devils lay hands on me. I became affected with
their false spirit, and on certain occasions my joints would become stiff
and I would fall in a trance.

About this time Brother Warner and his company came to the town to hold a
camp-meeting. As I went to shake hands with Mother Smith, who was with them
at that time, I fell stiff. Mother Smith knew what was the matter at once.
At first Brother Warner was somewhat puzzled, as he could see that although
some of us were affected by this false spirit, we still had the spirit of
God. As he wanted to be sure of every step he took, he began to work very
carefully, holding on to God for guidance.

Finally God showed him that the time had come to send forth judgment. He
read the 12th, 13th, and 14th chapters of I Corinthians. He said he was
going to give us a big gospel dish at this time, and when he came to the
scripture, "Charity does not behave itself unseemly," the judgments went
forth in mighty torrents.

I was sitting in the congregation, knowing that I had some of the devil's
chatties on me. At first I thought I would go out and pray it through; then
I said, "No, I will look to God right here where I am." I raised my hand to
God and said, "Lord, you must show me what is of God and what is not, so I
can take my stand for you." Before my hand went down, God made me to know
that Brother Warner and his company were right, and that the judgments
going forth were of the Lord. I took my stand for the truth.

At this time and place it meant much to stand for the truth, for the whole
country was polluted with this false spirit, and when judgment went forth,
it stirred up the enemy throughout the whole country. As a result, a mob
came that night after the services were ended, tore up the tents, and
loaded everybody and everything connected with the meeting onto wagons and
quietly sent them off the camp-ground. I was staying that night at a house
about two miles from the camp-ground, and so was not present when the mob
came. About two o'clock in the morning Brother Warner, who had got
separated from his company, came, with a number of others, to the house
where I was staying. I was awakened very early in the morning to pray for a
brother's child that was sick. I did not feel clear to do this alone, as I
had not sufficient victory over the recent attack of the enemy. Finding out
that Brother Warner was there, I called him. We laid hands on the child,
prayed for it, and it was healed.

Then I had them lay hands on me and pray that all the bad effects of the
recent attack of the enemy might be overcome. There was still a stir all
through the country, and soon the people began to gather at the house where
we were staying. Many of them were now able to see that they had been under
the influence of wicked spirits, and desired deliverance. So many came that
from the time we had our breakfast in the morning until the sun went down
at night, we stopped neither to eat nor to rest, but were continually in
prayer for those who wanted help.

It had been the design of the mob to kill Brother Warner, but the Lord
graciously delivered him. It was the second day after the mob came, before
Brother Warner found his company; he and they had gone in different
directions. In the days following, Mother Smith was quite helpful to me, as
the enemy tried to depress and crush me; but the Lord brought me off more
than conqueror. A number of other honest souls were also gloriously
delivered at this time; some of whom are New Testament ministers today.

God soon showed me that I must trust him for heavenly authority over devils
and over every foul spirit. I came to God in earnest prayer, claimed my
privilege as a minister, and obtained the gift of miracles. I soon had an
opportunity to exercise the gift.

The following spring, in company with my brother, I had the privilege of
attending the Bangor, Michigan, camp-meeting. For sometime I had felt the
leadings of the Lord to go to this meeting, but I did not have the means. I
began praying earnestly that God would open the way for me to go, but he
saw fit to let my faith be tested. The time of the meeting was drawing
near, and the money for my trip did not seem to be forthcoming. As the time
approached and different people asked me if I was going, I would say yes.
Some would ask me if I had the means for my car-fare, to which I would
answer no. "Well," said they, "what will you do if God does not give you
the means?" I replied, "I will trust him anyway." Soon, however, the Lord
showed me that I should begin fasting and praying, and that I should not
eat until the money was provided. Breakfast on Saturday morning was my last
meal until the following Monday morning. By that time God had answered my
prayer: I had enough money to take me to the meeting, and there was a
little left to apply on my return fare.

It is unnecessary for me to say that I enjoyed this my first meeting after
getting victory over my sectarian blindness, past traditions, etc. The
meeting was certainly precious and heavenly. The songs were so sweet, being
sung in the spirit, and having such a heavenly melody. It seemed, almost,
that I was where angels had congregated. Brother Warner would leap, shout,
and praise the Lord, both in meeting and between meetings when he would
meet a saint. Whenever a new saint came on the ground, you would hear
shouts, praises, and halleluiahs, that would make the woods ring. In the
morning when we first met each other, our salutations were, "Praise the
Lord!" "The Lord bless you!" etc. I have heard Brother Warner say when he
met those who seemed to have no praises stirring in their souls, "Have you
no calves this morning?" referring to the scripture, "We should offer the
calves of our lips, even praises to our God." I have been present when,
under the anointing of the Spirit, Brother Warner preached three hours and
twenty-five minutes; and those that were interested were not the least bit
tired. While my brother and I were attending a camp-meeting at Chanute,
Kansas, our systems got filled with malaria. Coming back to the home of
Father Bolds, near Webb City, Missouri, I soon came down with typhoid
fever. My brother had an attack, also; but, as he fought it more
successfully than I, he soon recovered. I had a fight of faith. It seemed
difficult for me to get hold of the Lord for healing. On examining my
consecration, I found that I was more anxious to die than to live. When I
got that difficulty out of the way, the Lord soon raised me up.

Nevertheless, I lay three and one-half weeks, most of the time with my
tongue swelled stiff in my mouth. I could eat no solid food, not even
softened bread. During that time I lived on liquid foods, such as grape
juice and buttermilk. Prayer had been offered for me several times, but
without avail, for the reason that I have already given. One evening,
however, prayer was offered for me again. This time God gave the victory,
rebuked the disease, and I was healed, although I was left very weak. The
next evening prayer was again offered that my strength be restored, which
petition God granted. The following morning Mother Bolds helped me to
dress, and in company with her and Father Bolds and my brother, I got into
a lumber-wagon and started to Joplin, Missouri, seven miles away, to begin
a meeting.

That evening I testified, and the next day preached twice; although I could
not walk alone, and had to be led by two persons for a week, and by one
person for two weeks. It was two weeks before the saliva came into my
mouth. During this time, also a number of disorders appeared on my body one
after another, almost like new diseases. As each new affliction appeared,
God helped me to trust him until it was removed.

All this time, however, God had enabled me to help in the services--to
preach, to testify, or to pray--whatever seemed to be my duty. Although I
seemed able to do so much in the services, yet my mental vigor seemed not
to have been restored sufficiently for me to carry on a conversation; and
between services, I would scarcely talk at all. Indeed, I was hardly able
to think rationally very long at a time; but during the services when the
anointing of God's Spirit was upon me, I hardly think any one could have
told that I was laboring under any difficulties at all.

The meeting at Joplin lasted four weeks. During that time my brother got a
call to another place, and I was left to finish the meeting alone. In many
ways my body was not yet normal, but it was improving surprisingly fast.
Soon after my brother left, Mother Bolds came to call on me, and I begged
her to stay until the close of the series of meetings. I felt so helpless
yet that I could not keep from crying like a child. She encouraged me as
best she could, and told me that she would go home and see to things there,
and then come back next day and stay with

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