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The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — Volume 02

by T. Smollett · English · Gutenberg #6760 · 498,835 chars · public domain (US)

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Title: The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — Volume 02

Author: T. Smollett


        
Release date: October 1, 2004 [eBook #6760]
                Most recently updated: October 20, 2014

Language: English

Other information and formats: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/6760

Credits: Produced by Tapio Riikonen and David Widger


*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ADVENTURES OF FERDINAND COUNT FATHOM — VOLUME 02 ***




Produced by Tapio Riikonen and David Widger









THE ADVENTURES OF FERDINAND COUNT FATHOM

by Tobias Smollett


COMPLETE IN TWO PARTS

PART II.


With the Author's Preface, and an Introduction by G. H. Maynadier, Ph.D.
Department of English, Harvard University.



CONTENTS

   CHAPTER
    XXXIX   Our Adventurer is made acquainted with a new Scene of Life
       XL   He contemplates Majesty and its Satellites in Eclipse
      XLI   One Quarrel is compromised, and another decided by unusual
              Arms
     XLII   An unexpected Rencontre, and a happy Revolution in the
              Affairs of our Adventurer
    XLIII   Fathom justifies the Proverb, "What's bred in the Bone will
              never come out of the Flesh"
     XLIV   Anecdotes of Poverty, and Experiments for the Benefit of
              those whom it may concern
      XLV   Renaldo's Distress deepens, and Fathom's Plot thickens
     XLVI   Our Adventurer becomes absolute in his Power over the
              Passions of his Friend, and effects one half of his Aim
    XLVII   The Art of Borrowing further explained, and an Account of a
              Strange Phenomenon
   XLVIII   Count Fathom unmasks his Battery; is repulsed; and varies his
              Operations without effect
     XLIX   Monimia's Honour is protected by the Interposition of Heaven
        L   Fathom shifts the Scene, and appears in a new Character
       LI   Triumphs over a Medical Rival
      LII   Repairs to the Metropolis, and enrols himself among the
              Sons of Paean
     LIII   Acquires Employment in consequence of a lucky Miscarriage
      LIV   His Eclipse, and gradual Declination
       LV   After divers unsuccessful Efforts, he has recourse to the
              Matrimonial Noose
      LVI   In which his Fortune is effectually strangled
     LVII   Fathom being safely housed, the Reader is entertained with
              a Retrospect
    LVIII   Renaldo abridges the Proceedings at Law, and approves himself
              the Son of his Father
      LIX   He is the Messenger of Happiness to his Sister, who removes
              the film which had long obstructed his Penetration, with
              regard to Count Fathom
       LX   He recompenses the Attachment of his Friend; and receives
              a Letter that reduces him to the Verge of Death and
              Distraction
      LXI   Renaldo meets with a living Monument of Justice, and
              encounters a Personage of some Note in these Memoirs
     LXII   His Return to England, and Midnight Pilgrimage to Monimia's
              Tomb
    LXIII   He renews the Rites of Sorrow, and is entranced
     LXIV   The Mystery unfolded--Another Recognition, which, it is to be
              hoped, the Reader could not foresee
      LXV   A retrospective Link, necessary for the Concatenation of
              these Memoirs
     LXVI   The History draws near a Period
    LXVII   The Longest and the Last






THE ADVENTURES OF FERDINAND COUNT FATHOM




CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

OUR ADVENTURER IS MADE ACQUAINTED WITH A NEW SCENE OF LIFE.


Just as he entered these mansions of misery, his ears were invaded with a
hoarse and dreadful voice, exclaiming, "You, Bess Beetle, score a couple
of fresh eggs, a pennyworth of butter, and half a pint of mountain to the
king; and stop credit till the bill is paid:--He is now debtor for
fifteen shillings and sixpence, and d--n me if I trust him one farthing
more, if he was the best king in Christendom.  And, d'ye hear, send
Ragged-head with five pounds of potatoes for Major Macleaver's supper,
and let him have what drink he wants; the fat widow gentlewoman from
Pimlico has promised to quit his score.  Sir Mungo Barebones may have
some hasty pudding and small beer, though I don't expect to see his coin,
no more than to receive the eighteen pence I laid out for a pair of
breeches to his backside--what then? he's a quiet sort of a body, and a
great scholar, and it was a scandal to the place to see him going about
in that naked condition.  As for the mad Frenchman with the beard, if you
give him so much as a cheese-paring, you b--ch, I'll send you back to the
hole, among your old companions; an impudent dog!  I'll teach him to draw
his sword upon the governor of an English county jail.  What! I suppose
he thought he had to do with a French hang-tang-dang, rabbit him! he
shall eat his white feather, before I give him credit for a morsel of
bread."

Although our adventurer was very little disposed, at this juncture, to
make observations foreign to his own affairs, he could not help taking
notice of these extraordinary injunctions; especially those concerning
the person who was entitled king, whom, however, he supposed to be some
prisoner elected as the magistrate by the joint suffrage of his fellows.
Having taken possession of his chamber, which he rented at five shillings
a week, and being ill at ease in his own thoughts, he forthwith secured
his door, undressed, and went to bed, in which, though it was none of the
most elegant or inviting couches, he enjoyed profound repose after the
accumulated fatigues and mortifications of the day.  Next morning, after
breakfast, the keeper entered his apartment, and gave him to understand,
that the gentlemen under his care, having heard of the Count's arrival,
had deputed one of their number to wait upon him with the compliments of
condolence suitable to the occasion, and invite him to become a member of
their society.  Our hero could not politely dispense with this instance
of civility, and their ambassador being instantly introduced by the name
of Captain Minikin, saluted him with great solemnity.

This was a person equally remarkable for his extraordinary figure and
address; his age seemed to border upon forty, his stature amounted to
five feet, his visage was long, meagre, and weather-beaten, and his
aspect, though not quite rueful, exhibited a certain formality, which was
the result of care and conscious importance.  He was very little
encumbered with flesh and blood; yet what body he had was well
proportioned, his limbs were elegantly turned, and by his carriage he was
well entitled to that compliment which we pay to any person when we say
he has very much the air of a gentleman.  There was also an evident
singularity in his dress, which, though intended as an improvement,
appeared to be an extravagant exaggeration of the mode, and at once
evinced him an original to the discerning eyes of our adventurer, who
received him with his usual complaisance, and made a very eloquent
acknowledgment of the honour and satisfaction he received from the visit
of the representative, and the hospitality of his constituents.  The
captain's peculiarities were not confined to his external appearance; for
his voice resembled the sound of a bassoon, or the aggregate hum of a
whole bee-hive, and his discourse was almost nothing else than a series
of quotations from the English poets, interlarded with French phrases,
which he retained for their significance, on the recommendation of his
friends, being himself unacquainted with that or any other outlandish
tongue.

Fathom, finding this gentleman of a very communicative disposition,
thought he could not have a fairer opportunity of learning the history of
his fellow-prisoners; and, turning the conversation on that subject, was
not disappointed in his expectation.  "I don't doubt, sir," said he, with
the utmost solemnity of declamation, "but you look with horror upon every
object that surrounds you in this uncomfortable place; but, nevertheless,
here are some, who, as my friend Shakespeare has it, have seen better
days, and have with holy bell been knolled to church; and sat at good
men's feasts, and wiped their eyes of drops that sacred pity hath
engendered.  You must know, sir, that, exclusive of the canaille, or the
profanum vulgus, as they are styled by Horace, there are several small
communities in the jail, consisting of people who are attracted by the
manners and dispositions of each other; for this place, sir, is quite a
microcosm, and as the great world, so is this, a stage, and all the men
and women merely players.  For my own part, sir, I have always made it a
maxim to associate with the best of company I can find.  Not that I
pretend to boast of my family or extraction; because, you know, as the
poet says, Vix ea nostra voco.  My father, 'tis true, was a man that
piqued himself upon his pedigree, as well as upon his politesse and
personal merit; for he had been a very old officer in the army, and I
myself may say I was born with a spontoon in my hand.  Sir, I have had
the honour to serve his Majesty these twenty years, and have been bandied
about in the course of duty through all the British plantations, and you
see the recompense of all my service.  But this is a disagreeable
subject, and therefore I shall waive it; however, as Butler observes:

     My only comfort is, that now
     My dubbolt fortune is so low,
     That either it must quickly end,
     Or turn about again and mend.

"And now, to return from this digression, you will perhaps be surprised
to hear that the head or chairman of our club is really a sovereign
prince; no less, I'll assure you, than the celebrated Theodore king of
Corsica, who lies in prison for a debt of a few hundred pounds.  Heu!
quantum mutatus ab illo.  It is not my business to censure the conduct of
my superiors; but I always speak my mind in a cavalier manner, and as,
according to the Spectator, talking to a friend is no more than thinking
aloud, entre nous, his Corsican majesty has been scurvily treated by a
certain administration.  Be that as it will, he is a personage of a very
portly appearance, and is quite master of the bienseance.  Besides, they
will find it their interest to have recourse again to his alliance; and
in that case some of us may expect to profit by his restoration.  But few
words are best.

"He that maintains the second rank in our assembly is one Major
Macleaver, an Irish gentleman, who has served abroad; a soldier of
fortune, sir, a man of unquestionable honour and courage, but a little
overbearing, in consequence of his knowledge and experience.  He is a
person of good address,--to be sure, and quite free of the mauvaise
honte, and he may have seen a good deal of service.  But what then? other
people may be as good as he, though they have not had such opportunities;
if he speaks five or six languages, he does not pretend to any taste in
the liberal arts, which are the criterion of an accomplished gentleman.

"The next is Sir Mungo Barebones, the representative of a very ancient
family in the north; his affairs are very much deranged, but he is a
gentleman of great probity and learning, and at present engaged in a very
grand scheme, which, if he can bring it to bear, will render him famous
to all posterity; no less than the conversion of the Jews and the
Gentiles.  The project, I own, looks chimerical to one who has not
conversed with the author; but, in my opinion, he has clearly
demonstrated, from an anagrammatical analysis of a certain Hebrew word,
that his present Majesty, whom God preserve, is the person pointed at in
Scripture as the temporal Messiah of the Jews; and, if he could once
raise by subscription such a trifling sum as twelve hundred thousand
pounds, I make no doubt but he would accomplish his aim, vast and
romantic as it seems to be.

"Besides these, we have another messmate, who is a French chevalier, an
odd sort of a man, a kind of Lazarillo de Tormes, a caricatura; he wears
a long beard, pretends to be a great poet, and makes a d---ed fracas with
his verses.  The king has been obliged to exert his authority over him
more than once, by ordering him into close confinement, for which he was
so rash as to send his majesty a challenge; but he afterwards made his
submission, and was again taken into favour.  The truth is, I believe his
brain is a little disordered, and, he being a stranger, we overlook his
extravagancies.

"Sir, we shall think ourselves happy in your accession to our society.
You will be under no sort of restraint; for, though we dine at one table,
every individual calls and pays for his own mess.  Our conversation, such
as it is, will not, I hope, be disagreeable; and though we have not
opportunities of breathing the pure Arcadian air, and cannot, 'under the
shade of melancholy boughs, lose and neglect the creeping hours of time,'
we may enjoy ourselves over a glass of punch or a dish of tea.  Nor are
we destitute of friends, who visit us in these shades of distress.  The
major has a numerous acquaintance of both sexes; among others, a first
cousin of good fortune, who, with her daughters, often cheer our
solitude; she is a very sensible ladylike gentlewoman, and the young
ladies have a certain degagee air, that plainly shows they have seen the
best company.  Besides, I will venture to recommend Mrs. Minikin as a
woman of tolerable breeding and capacity, who, I hope, will not be found
altogether deficient in the accomplishments of the sex.  So that we find
means to make little parties, in which the time glides away insensibly.
Then I have a small collection of books which are at your service.  You
may amuse yourself with Shakespeare, or Milton, or Don Quixote, or any of
our modern authors that are worth reading, such as the Adventures of
Loveill, Lady Frail, George Edwards, Joe Thompson, Bampfylde Moore Carew,
Young Scarron, and Miss Betsy Thoughtless; and if you have a taste for
drawing, I can entertain you with a parcel of prints by the best
masters."

A man of our hero's politeness could not help expressing himself in the
warmest terms of gratitude for this courteous declaration.  He thanked
the captain in particular for his obliging offers, and begged he would be
so good as to present his respects to the society, of which he longed to
be a member.  It was determined, therefore, that Minikin should return in
an hour, when the Count would be dressed, in order to conduct him into
the presence of his majesty; and he had already taken his leave for the
present, when all of a sudden he came back, and taking hold of a
waistcoat that lay upon a chair, "Sir," said he, "give me leave to look
at that fringe; I think it is the most elegant knitting I ever saw.  But
pray, sir, are not these quite out of fashion?  I thought plain silk,
such as this that I wear, had been the mode, with the pockets very low."
Before Fathom had time to make any sort of reply, he took notice of his
hat and pumps; the first of which, he said, was too narrow in the brims,
and the last an inch too low in the heels.  Indeed, they formed a
remarkable contrast with his own; for, exclusive of the fashion of the
cock, which resembled the form of a Roman galley, the brim of his hat, if
properly spread, would have projected a shade sufficient to shelter a
whole file of musketeers from the heat of a summer's sun; and the heels
of his shoes were so high as to raise his feet three inches at least from
the surface of the earth.

Having made these observations, for the credit of his taste, he retired,
and returning at the time appointed, accompanied Ferdinand to the
apartment of the king, at the doors of which their ears were invaded with
a strange sound, being that of a human voice imitating the noise of a
drum.  The captain, hearing this alarm, made a full stop, and, giving the
Count to understand that his majesty was busy, begged he would not take
it amiss, if the introduction should be delayed for a few moments.
Fathom, curious to know the meaning of what he had heard, applied to his
guide for information, and learned that the king and the major, whom he
had nominated to the post of his general-in-chief, were employed in
landing troops upon the Genoese territory; that is, that they were
settling beforehand the manner of their disembarkation.

He then, by the direction of his conductor, reconnoitred them through the
keyhole, and perceived the sovereign and his minister sitting on opposite
sides of a deal board table, covered with a large chart or map, upon
which he saw a great number of mussel and oyster shells ranged in a
certain order, and, at a little distance, several regular squares and
columns made of cards cut in small pieces.  The prince himself, whose
eyes were reinforced by spectacles, surveyed this armament with great
attention, while the general put the whole in action, and conducted their
motions by beat of drum.  The mussel-shells, according to Minikin's
explanation, represented the transports, the oyster-shells were
considered as the men-of-war that covered the troops in landing, and the
pieces of card exhibited the different bodies into which the army was
formed upon its disembarkation.

As an affair of such consequence could not be transacted without
opposition, they had provided divers ambuscades, consisting of the enemy,
whom they represented by grey peas; and accordingly General Macleaver,
perceiving the said grey peas marching along shore to attack his forces
before they could be drawn up in battalia, thus addressed himself to the
oyster-shells, in an audible voice:--"You men-of-war, don't you see the
front of the enemy advancing, and the rest of the detachment following
out of sight?  Arrah! the devil burn you, why don't you come ashore and
open your batteries?"  So saying, he pushed the shells towards the
breach, performed the cannonading with his voice, the grey peas were soon
put in confusion, the general was beat, the cards marched forwards in
order of battle, and the enemy having retreated with great precipitation,
they took possession of their ground without farther difficulty.




CHAPTER FORTY

HE CONTEMPLATES MAJESTY AND ITS SATELLITES IN ECLIPSE.


This expedition being happily finished, General Macleaver put the whole
army, navy, transports, and scene of action into a canvas bag, the prince
unsaddled his nose, and Captain Minikin being admitted, our hero was
introduced in form.  Very gracious was the reception he met with from his
majesty, who, with a most princely demeanour, welcomed him to court, and
even seated him on his right hand, in token of particular regard.  True
it is, this presence-chamber was not so superb, nor the appearance of the
king so magnificent, as to render such an honour intoxicating to any
person of our hero's coolness and discretion.  In lieu of tapestry, the
apartment was hung with halfpenny ballads, a truckle-bed without curtains
supplied the place of a canopy, and instead of a crown his majesty wore a
woollen night-cap.  Yet, in spite of these disadvantages, there was an
air of dignity in his deportment, and a nice physiognomist would have
perceived something majestic in the features of his countenance.

He was certainly a personage of very prepossessing mien; his manners were
engaging, his conversation agreeable, and any man whose heart was subject
to the meltings of humanity would have deplored his distress, and looked
upon him as a most pathetic instance of that miserable reverse to which
all human grandeur is exposed.  His fall was even greater than that of
Belisarius, who, after having obtained many glorious victories over the
enemies of his country, is said to have been reduced to such extremity of
indigence, that, in his old age, when he was deprived of his eyesight, he
sat upon the highway like a common mendicant, imploring the charity of
passengers in the piteous exclamation of Date obolum Belisario; that is,
"Spare a farthing to your poor old soldier Belisarius."  I say, this
general's disgrace was not so remarkable as that of Theodore, because he
was the servant of Justinian, consequently his fortune depended upon the
nod of that emperor; whereas the other actually possessed the throne of
sovereignty by the best of all titles, namely, the unanimous election of
the people over whom he reigned; and attracted the eyes of all Europe, by
the efforts he made in breaking the bands of oppression, and vindicating
that liberty which is the birthright of man.

The English of former days, alike renowned for generosity and valour,
treated those hostile princes, whose fate it was to wear their chains,
with such delicacy of benevolence, as even dispelled the horrors of
captivity; but their posterity of this refined age feel no compunction at
seeing an unfortunate monarch, their former friend, ally, and partisan,
languish amidst the miseries of a loathsome jail, for a paltry debt
contracted in their own service.  But, moralising apart, our hero had not
long conversed with this extraordinary debtor, who in his present
condition assumed no other title than that of Baron, than he perceived in
him a spirit of Quixotism, which all his experience, together with the
vicissitudes of his fortune, had not been able to overcome.  Not that his
ideas soared to such a pitch of extravagant hope as that which took
possession of his messmates, who frequently quarrelled one with another
about the degrees of favour to which they should be entitled after the
king's restoration; but he firmly believed that affairs would speedily
take such a turn in Italy, as would point out to the English court the
expediency of employing him again; and his persuasion seemed to support
him against every species of poverty and mortification.

While they were busy in trimming the balance of power on the other side
of the Alps, their deliberations were interrupted by the arrival of a
scullion, who came to receive their orders touching the bill of fare for
dinner, and his majesty found much more difficulty in settling this
important concern, than in compromising all the differences between the
Emperor and the Queen of Spain.  At length, however, General Macleaver
undertook the office of purveyor for his prince; Captain Minikin insisted
upon treating the Count; and in a little time the table was covered with
a cloth, which, for the sake of my delicate readers, I will not attempt
to describe.

At this period they were joined by Sir Mungo Barebones, who, having found
means to purchase a couple of mutton chops, had cooked a mess of broth,
which he now brought in a saucepan to the general rendezvous.  This was
the most remarkable object which had hitherto presented itself to the
eyes of Fathom.  Being naturally of a meagre habit, he was, by indigence
and hard study, wore almost to the bone, and so bended towards the earth,
that in walking his body described at least 150 degrees of a circle.  The
want of stockings and shoes he supplied with a jockey straight boot and
an half jack.  His thighs and middle were cased in a monstrous pair of
brown trunk breeches, which the keeper bought for his use from the
executor of a Dutch seaman who had lately died in the jail.  His shirt
retained no signs of its original colour, his body was shrouded in an old
greasy tattered plaid nightgown; a blue and white handkerchief surrounded
his head, and his looks betokened that immense load of care which he had
voluntarily incurred for the eternal salvation of sinners.  Yet this
figure, uncouth as it was, made his compliments to our adventurer in
terms of the most elegant address, and, in the course of conversation,
disclosed a great fund of valuable knowledge.  He had appeared in the
great world, and borne divers offices of dignity and trust with universal
applause.  His courage was undoubted, his morals were unimpeached, and
his person held in great veneration and esteem; when his evil genius
engaged him in the study of Hebrew, and the mysteries of the Jewish
religion, which fairly disordered his brain, and rendered him incapable
of managing his temporal affairs.  When he ought to have been employed in
the functions of his post, he was always wrapt in visionary conferences
with Moses on the Mount; rather than regulate the economy of his
household, he chose to exert his endeavours in settling the precise
meaning of the word Elohim; and having discovered that now the period was
come, when the Jews and Gentiles would be converted, he postponed every
other consideration, in order to facilitate that great and glorious
event.

By this time Ferdinand had seen every member of the club, except the
French chevalier, who seemed to be quite neglected by the society; for
his name was not once mentioned during this communication, and they sat
down to dinner, without asking whether he was dead or alive.  The king
regaled himself with a plate of ox-cheek; the major, who complained that
his appetite had forsaken him, amused himself with some forty hard eggs,
malaxed with salt butter; the knight indulged upon his soup and bouilli,
and the captain entertained our adventurer with a neck of veal roasted
with potatoes; but before Fathom could make use of his knife and fork, he
was summoned to the door, where he found the chevalier in great
agitation, his eyes sparkling like coals of fire.

Our hero was not a little surprised at this apparition, who, having asked
pardon for the freedom he had used, observed, that, understanding the
Count was a foreigner, he could not dispense with appealing to him
concerning an outrage he had suffered from the keeper, who, without any
regard to his rank or misfortunes, had been base enough to refuse him
credit for a few necessaries, until he could have a remittance from his
steward in France; he therefore conjured Count Fathom, as a stranger and
nobleman like himself, to be the messenger of defiance, which he resolved
to send to that brutal jailor, that, for the future, he might learn to
make proper distinctions in the exercise of his function.

Fathom, who had no inclination to offend this choleric Frenchman, assured
him that he might depend upon his friendship; and, in the meantime,
prevailed upon him to accept of a small supply, in consequence of which
he procured a pound of sausages, and joined the rest of the company
without delay; making a very suitable addition to such an assemblage of
rarities.  Though his age did not exceed thirty years, his beard, which
was of a brindled hue, flowed down, like Aaron's, to his middle.  Upon
his legs he wore red stockings rolled up over the joint of the knee, his
breeches were of blue drab, with vellum button-holes, and garters of gold
lace, his waistcoat of scarlet, his coat of rusty black cloth, his hair,
twisted into a ramilie, hung down to his rump, of the colour of jet, and
his hat was adorned with a white feather.

This original had formed many ingenious schemes to increase the glory and
grandeur of France, but was discouraged by Cardinal Fleury, who, in all
appearance, jealous of his great talents, not only rejected his projects,
but even sent him to prison, on pretence of being offended at his
impertinence.  Perceiving that, like the prophet, he had no honour in his
own country, he no sooner obtained his release, than he retired to
England, where he was prompted by his philanthropy to propose an
expedient to our ministry, which would have saved a vast effusion of
blood and treasure; this was an agreement between the Queen of Hungary
and the late Emperor, to decide their pretensions by a single combat; in
which case he offered himself as the Bavarian champion; but in this
endeavour he also proved unsuccessful.  Then turning his attention to the
delights of poetry, he became so enamoured of the muse, that he neglected
every other consideration, and she as usual gradually conducted him to
the author's never-failing goal--a place of rest appointed for all those
sinners whom the profane love of poesy hath led astray.




CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

ONE QUARREL IS COMPROMISED, AND ANOTHER DECIDED BY UNUSUAL ARMS.


Among other topics of conversation that were discussed at this genial
meeting, Sir Mungo's scheme was brought upon the carpet by his majesty,
who was graciously pleased to ask how his subscription filled?  To this
interrogation the knight answered, that he met with great opposition from
a spirit of levity and self-conceit, which seemed to prevail in this
generation, but that no difficulties should discourage him from
persevering in his duty; and he trusted in God, that, in a very little
time, he should be able to confute and overthrow the false philosophy of
the moderns, and to restore the writings of Moses to that pre-eminence
and veneration which is due to an inspired author.  He spoke of the
immortal Newton with infinite contempt, and undertook to extract from the
Pentateuch a system of chronology which would ascertain the progress of
time since the fourth day of the creation to the present hour, with such
exactness, that not one vibration of a pendulum should be lost; nay, he
affirmed that the perfection of all arts and sciences might be attained
by studying these secret memoirs, and that he himself did not despair of
learning from them the art of transmuting baser metals into gold.

The chevalier, though he did not pretend to contradict these assertions,
was too much attached to his own religion to acquiesce in the knight's
project of converting the Jews and the Gentiles to the Protestant heresy,
which, he said, God Almighty would never suffer to triumph over the
interests of his own Holy Catholic Church.  This objection produced
abundance of altercation between two very unequal disputants; and the
Frenchman, finding himself puzzled by the learning of his antagonist, had
recourse to the argumentum ad hominem, by laying his hand upon his sword,
and declaring that he was ready to lose the last drop of his blood in
opposition to such a damnable scheme.

Sir Mungo, though in all appearance reduced to the last stage of animal
existence, no sooner heard this epithet applied to his plan, than his
eyes gleamed like lightning, he sprung from his seat with the agility of
a grasshopper, and, darting himself out at the door like an arrow from a
bow, reappeared in a moment with a long rusty weapon, which might have
been shown among a collection of rarities as the sword of Guy Earl of
Warwick.  This implement he brandished over the chevalier's head with the
dexterity of an old prize-fighter, exclaiming, in the French language,
"Thou art a profane wretch marked out for the vengeance of Heaven, whose
unworthy minister I am, and here thou shalt fall by the sword of the Lord
and of Gideon."

The chevalier, unterrified by this dreadful salutation, desired he would
accompany him to a more convenient place; and the world might have been
deprived of one or both these knights-errant, had not General Macleaver,
at the desire of his majesty, interposed, and found means to bring
matters to an accommodation.

In the afternoon the society was visited by the major's cousin and her
daughters, who no sooner appeared than they were recognised by our
adventurer, and his acquaintance with them renewed in such a manner as
alarmed the delicacy of Captain Minikin, who in the evening repaired to
the Count's apartment, and with a formal physiognomy, accosted him in
these words: "Sir, I beg pardon for this intrusion, but I come to consult
you about an affair in which my honour is concerned; and a soldier
without honour, you know, is no better than a body without a soul.  I
have always admired that speech of Hotspur in the first part of Henry the
Fourth:

     By Heaven, methinks it were an easy leap,
     To pluck bright honour from the pale-fac'd moon;
     Or dive into the bottom of the deep,
     Where fathom-line could never touch the ground,
     And pluck up drowned honour by the locks--

"There is a boldness and ease in the expression, and the images are very
picturesque.  But, without any further preamble, pray, sir, give me leave
to ask how long you have been acquainted with those ladies who drank tea
with us this afternoon.  You'll forgive the question, sir, when I tell
you that Major Macleaver introduced Mrs. Minikin to them as to ladies of
character, and, I don't know how, sir, I have a sort of presentiment that
my wife has been imposed upon.  Perhaps I may be mistaken, and God grant
I may.  But there was a je ne sais quoi in their behaviour to-day, which
begins to alarm my suspicion.  Sir, I have nothing but my reputation to
depend upon, and I hope you will excuse me, when I earnestly beg to know
what rank they maintain in life."

Fathom, without minding the consequence, told him, with a simper, that he
knew them to be very good-natured ladies, who devoted themselves to the
happiness of mankind.  This explanation had no sooner escaped from his
lips, than the captain's face began to glow with indignation, his eyes
seemed bursting from their spheres, he swelled to twice his natural
dimensions, and, raising himself on his tiptoes, pronounced, in a strain
that emulated thunder, "Blood! sir, you seem to make very light of the
matter, but it is no joke to me, I'll assure you, and Macleaver shall see
that I am not to be affronted with impunity.  Sir, I shall take it as a
singular favour if you will be the bearer of a billet to him, which I
shall write in three words; nay, sir, you must give me leave to insist
upon it, as you are the only gentleman of our mess whom I can intrust
with an affair of this nature."

Fathom, rather than run the risk of disobliging such a punctilious
warrior, after having in vain attempted to dissuade him from his purpose,
undertook to carry the challenge, which was immediately penned in these
words:

"SIR,--You have violated my honour in imposing upon Mrs. Minikin your
pretended cousins as ladies of virtue and reputation.  I therefore demand
such satisfaction as a soldier ought to receive, and expect you will
adjust with my friend Count Fathom the terms upon which you shall be met
by the much injured                          GOLIAH MINIKIN."

This morceau being sealed and directed, was forthwith carried by our
adventurer to the lodgings of the major, who had by this time retired to
rest, but hearing the Count's voice, he got up and opened the door in
cuerpo, to the astonishment of Ferdinand, who had never before seen such
an Herculean figure.  He made an apology for receiving the Count in his
birthday suit, to which he said he was reduced by the heat of his
constitution, though he might have assigned a more adequate cause, by
owning that his shirt was in the hands of his washerwoman; then shrouding
himself in a blanket, desired to know what had procured him the honour of
such an extraordinary visit.  He read the letter with great composure,
like a man accustomed to such intercourse; then addressing himself to the
bearer, "I will be after diverting the gentleman," said he, "in any
manner he shall think proper; but, by Jesus, this is no place for such
amusements, because, as you well know, my dear Count, if both should be
killed by the chance of war, neither of us will be able to escape, and
after the breath is out of his body, he will make but a sorry excuse to
his family and friends.  But that is no concern of mine, and therefore I
am ready to please him in his own way."

Fathom approved of his remarks, which he reinforced with sundry
considerations, to the same purpose, and begged the assistance of the
major's advice, in finding some expedient to terminate the affair without
bloodshed, that no troublesome consequences might ensue either to him or
to his antagonist, who, in spite of this overstraining formality, seemed
to be a person of worth and good-nature.  "With all my heart," said the
generous Hibernian, "I have a great regard for the little man, and my own
character is not to seek at this time of day.  I have served a long
apprenticeship to fighting, as this same carcase can testify, and if he
compels me to run him through the body, by my shoul, I shall do it in a
friendly manner."

So saying, he threw aside the blanket, and displayed scars and seams
innumerable upon his body, which appeared like an old patched leathern
doublet.  "I remember," proceeded this champion, "when I was a slave at
Algiers, Murphy Macmorris and I happened to have some difference in the
bagnio, upon which he bade me turn out.  'Arra, for what?' said I; 'here
are no weapons that a gentleman can use, and you would not be such a
negro as to box like an English carman.'  After he had puzzled himself
for some time, he proposed that we should retire into a corner, and funk
one another with brimstone, till one of us should give out.  Accordingly
we crammed half a dozen tobacco pipes with sulphur, and, setting foot to
foot, began to smoke, and kept a constant fire, until Macmorris dropped
down; then I threw away my pipe, and taking poor Murphy in my arms,
'What, are you dead?' said I; 'if you are dead, speak.'  'No, by Jesus!'
cried he, 'I an't dead, but I'm speechless.'  So he owned I had obtained
the victory, and we were as good friends as ever.  Now, if Mr. Minikin
thinks proper to put the affair upon the same issue, I will smoke a pipe
of brimstone with him to-morrow morning, and if I cry out first, I will
be after asking pardon for this supposed affront."

Fathom could not help laughing at the proposal, to which, however, he
objected on account of Minikin's delicate constitution, which might
suffer more detriment from breathing in an atmosphere of sulphur than
from the discharge of a pistol, or the thrust of a small sword.  He
therefore suggested another expedient in lieu of the sulphur, namely, the
gum called assafatida, which, though abundantly nauseous, could have no
effect upon the infirm texture of the lieutenant's lungs.  This hint
being relished by the major, our adventurer returned to his principal,
and having repeated the other's arguments against the use of mortal
instruments, described the succedaneum which he had concerted with
Macleaver.  The captain at first believed the scheme was calculated for
subjecting him to the ridicule of his fellow-prisoners, and began to
storm with great violence; but, by the assurances and address of Fathom,
he was at length reconciled to the plan, and preparations were made on
each side for this duel, which was actually smoked next day, about noon,
in a small closet, detached from the challenger's apartment, and within
hearing of his majesty, and all his court, assembled as witnesses and
umpires of the contest.

The combatants, being locked up together, began to ply their engines with
great fury, and it was not long before Captain Minikin perceived he had a
manifest advantage over his antagonist.  For his organs were familiarised
to the effluvia of this drug, which he had frequently used in the course
of an hypochondriac disorder; whereas Macleaver, who was a stranger to
all sorts of medicine, by his wry faces and attempts to puke, expressed
the utmost abhorrence of the smell that invaded his nostrils.
Nevertheless, resolved to hold out to the last extremity, he continued in
action until the closet was filled with such an intolerable vapour as
discomposed the whole economy of his entrails, and compelled him to
disgorge his breakfast in the face of his opponent, whose nerves were so
disconcerted by this disagreeable and unforeseen discharge, that he fell
back into his chair in a swoon, and the major bellowed aloud for
assistance.  The door being opened, he ran directly to the window, to
inhale the fresh air, while the captain, recovering from his fit,
complained of Macleaver's unfair proceeding, and demanded justice of the
arbitrators, who decided in his favour; and the major being prevailed
upon to ask pardon for having introduced Mrs. Minikin to women of rotten
reputation, the parties were reconciled to each other, and peace and
concord re-established in the mess.

Fathom acquired universal applause for his discreet and humane conduct
upon this occasion; and that same afternoon had an opportunity of seeing
the lady in whose cause he had exerted himself.  He was presented to her
as the husband's particular friend, and when she understood how much she
was indebted to his care and concern for the captain's safety, she
treated him with uncommon marks of distinction; and he found her a
genteel, well-bred woman, not without a good deal of personal charms, and
a well-cultivated understanding.




CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

AN UNEXPECTED RENCONTRE, AND A HAPPY REVOLUTION IN THE AFFAIRS OF OUR
ADVENTURER.

As she did not lodge within the precincts of this garrison, she was one
day, after tea, conducted to the gate by the captain and the Count, and
just as they approached the turnkey's lodge, our hero's eyes were struck
with the apparition of his old companion Renaldo, son of his benefactor
and patron, the Count de Melvil.  What were the emotions of his soul,
when he saw that young gentleman enter the prison, and advance towards
him, after having spoke to the jailor!  He never doubted that, being
informed of his confinement, he was come to upbraid him with his villany
and ingratitude, and he in vain endeavoured to recollect himself from
that terror and guilty confusion which his appearance had inspired; when
the stranger, lifting up his eyes, started back with signs of extreme
amazement, and, after a considerable pause, exclaimed, "Heaven and earth!
Sure my eyes do not deceive me! is not your name Fathom?  It is, it must
be my old friend and companion, the loss of whom I have so long
regretted!"  With these words he ran towards our adventurer, and, while
he clasped him in his arms with all the eagerness of affection, protested
that this was one of the happiest days he had ever seen.

Ferdinand, who, from this salutation, concluded himself still in
possession of Renaldo's good opinion, was not deficient in expressions of
tenderness and joy; he returned his embraces with equal ardour, the tears
trickled down his cheeks, and that perturbation which proceeded from
conscious perfidy and fear, was mistaken by the unsuspecting Hungarian
for the sheer effects of love, gratitude, and surprise.  These first
transports having subsided, they adjourned to the lodgings of Fathom, who
soon recollected his spirits and invention so well as to amuse the other
with a feigned tale of his having been taken by the French, sent prisoner
into Champagne, from whence he had written many letters to Count Melvil
and his son, of whom he could hear no tidings; of his having contracted
an intimacy with a young nobleman of France, who died in the flower of
his age, after having, in token of his friendship, bequeathed to him a
considerable legacy; by this he had been enabled to visit the land of his
forefathers in the character of a gentleman, which he had supported with
some figure, until he was betrayed into a misfortune that exhausted his
funds, and drove him to the spot where he was now found.  And he solemnly
declared, that, far from forgetting the obligation he owed to Count
Melvil, or renouncing the friendship of Renaldo, he had actually resolved
to set out for Germany on his return to the house of his patron in the
beginning of the week posterior to that in which he had been arrested.

Young Melvil, whose own heart had never known the instigations of fraud,
implicitly believed the story and protestations of Fathom; and though he
would not justify that part of his conduct by which the term of his good
fortune was abridged, he could not help excusing an indiscretion into
which he had been hurried by the precipitancy of youth, and the
allurements of an artful woman.  Nay, with the utmost warmth of
friendship, he undertook to wait upon Trapwell, and endeavour to soften
him into some reasonable terms of composition.

Fathom seemed to be quite overwhelmed with a deep sense of all this
goodness, and affected the most eager impatience to know the particulars
of Renaldo's fate, since their unhappy separation, more especially his
errand to this uncomfortable place, which he should henceforth revere as
the providential scene of their reunion.  Nor did he forget to inquire,
in the most affectionate and dutiful manner, about the situation of his
noble parents and amiable sister.

At mention of these names, Renaldo, fetching a deep sigh, "Alas! my
friend," said he, "the Count is no more; and, what aggravates my
affliction for the loss of such a father, it was my misfortune to be
under his displeasure at the time of his death.  Had I been present on
that melancholy occasion, so well I knew his generosity and paternal
tenderness, that, sure I am, he would in his last moments have forgiven
an only son, whose life had been a continual effort to render himself
worthy of such a parent, and whose crime was no other than an honourable
passion for the most meritorious of her sex.  But I was removed at a
fatal distance from him, and doubtless my conduct must have been
invidiously misrepresented.  Be that as it will, my mother has again
given her hand in wedlock to Count Trebasi; by whom I have the
mortification to be informed that I am totally excluded from my father's
succession; and I learn from other quarters, that my sister is
barbarously treated by this inhuman father-in-law.  Grant, Heaven, I may
soon have an opportunity of expostulating with the tyrant upon that
subject."

So saying, his cheeks glowed, and his eyes lightened with resentment.
Then he thus proceeded: "My coming hither to-day was with a view to visit
a poor female relation, from whom I yesterday received a letter,
describing her most deplorable situation, and soliciting my assistance;
but the turnkey affirms that there is no such person in the jail, and I
was on my way to consult the keeper, when I was agreeably surprised with
the sight of my dear Fathom."

Our adventurer having wiped from his eyes the tears which were produced
by the news of his worthy patron's death, desired to know the name of
that afflicted prisoner, in whose behalf he interested himself so much,
and Renaldo produced the letter, subscribed, "Your unfortunate cousin,
Helen Melvil."  This pretended relation, after having explained the
degree of consanguinity which she and the Count stood in to each other,
and occasionally mentioned some anecdotes of the family in Scotland, gave
him to understand that she had married a merchant of London, who, by
repeated losses in trade, had been reduced to indigence, and afterwards
confined to prison, where he then lay a breathless corpse, having left
her in the utmost extremity of wretchedness and want, with two young
children in the smallpox, and an incurable cancer in one of her own
breasts.  Indeed, the picture she drew was so moving, and her expressions
so sensibly pathetic, that no person, whose heart was not altogether
callous, could peruse it without emotion.  Renaldo had sent two guineas
by the messenger, whom she had represented as a trusty servant, whose
fidelity had been proof against all the distress of her mistress; and he
was now arrived in order to reinforce his bounty.

Fathom, in the consciousness of his own practices, immediately
comprehended the scheme of this letter, and confidently assured him that
no such person resided in the prison or in any other place.  And when his
friend applied for information to the keeper, these assurances were
confirmed; and that stern janitor told him he had been imposed upon by a
stale trick, which was often practised upon strangers by a set of
sharpers, who make it their business to pick up hints of intelligence
relating to private families, upon which they build such superstructures
of fraud and imposition.

However piqued the young Hungarian might be to find himself duped in this
manner, he rejoiced at the occasion which had thrown Fathom in his way;
and, after having made him a tender of his purse, took his leave, on
purpose to wait upon Trapwell, who was not quite so untractable as an
enraged cuckold commonly is; for, by this time, he had accomplished the
best part of his aim, which was to be divorced from his wife, and was
fully convinced that the defendant was no more than a needy adventurer,
who, in all probability, would be released by an act of parliament for
the benefit of insolvent debtors; in which case, he, the plaintiff, would
reap no solid advantage from his imprisonment.

He, therefore, listened to the remonstrances of the mediator, and, after
much canvassing, agreed to discharge the defendant, in consideration of
two hundred pounds, which were immediately paid by Count Melvil, who, by
this deduction, was reduced to somewhat less than thirty.

Nevertheless, he cheerfully beggared himself in behalf of his friend, for
whose release he forthwith obtained an order; and, next day, our
adventurer, having bid a formal adieu to his fellows in distress, and, in
particular, to his majesty, for whose restoration his prayers were
preferred, he quitted the jail, and accompanied his deliverer, with all
the outward marks of unutterable gratitude and esteem.

Surely, if his heart had been made of penetrable stuff, it would have
been touched by the circumstances of this redemption; but had not his
soul been invincible to all such attacks, these memoirs would possibly
never have seen the light.

When they arrived at Renaldo's lodgings, that young gentleman honoured
him with other proofs of confidence and friendship, by giving him a
circumstantial detail of all the adventures in which he had been engaged
after Fathom's desertion from the imperial camp.  He told him, that,
immediately after the war was finished, his father had pressed him to a
very advantageous match, with which he would have complied, though his
heart was not at all concerned, had not he been inflamed with the desire
of seeing the world before he could take any step towards a settlement
for life.  That he had signified his sentiments on this head to the
Count, who opposed them with unusual obstinacy, as productive of a delay
which might be fatal to his proposal; for which reason he had retired
incognito from his family, and travelled through sundry states and
countries, in a disguise by which he eluded the inquiries of his parents.

That, in the course of these peregrinations, he was captivated by the
irresistible charms of a young lady, on whose heart he had the good
fortune to make a tender impression.  That their mutual love had
subjected both to many dangers and difficulties, during which they
suffered a cruel separation; after the torments of which, he had happily
found her in England, where she now lived entirely cut off from her
native country and connexions, and destitute of every other resource but
his honour, love, and protection.  And, finally, that he was determined
to combat his own desires, how violent soever they might be, until he
should have made some suitable provision for the consequences of a
stricter union with the mistress of his soul, that he might not, by a
precipitate marriage, ruin the person whom he adored.

This end he proposed to attain, by an application to the court of Vienna,
which he did not doubt would have some regard to his own service, and
that of his father; and thither he resolved to repair, with the first
opportunity, now that he had found a friend with whom he could intrust
the inestimable jewel of his heart.

He likewise gave our hero to understand, that he had been eight months in
England, during which he had lived in a frugal manner, that he might not
unnecessarily exhaust the money he had been able to raise upon his own
credit; that, hitherto, he had been obliged to defer his departure for
Germany on account of his attendance upon the mother of his mistress, who
was lately dead of sorrow and chagrin; and that, since he resided in
London, he had often heard of the celebrated Count Fathom, though he
never imagined that his friend Ferdinand could be distinguished by that
appellation.




CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

FATHOM JUSTIFIES THE PROVERB, "WHAT'S BRED IN THE BONE WILL NEVER COME
OUT OF THE FLESH."


Some circumstances of this conversation made a deep impression upon the
mind of our adventurer, who nevertheless concealed his emotions from the
knowledge of his friend, and was next day introduced to that hidden
treasure of which Renaldo had spoken with such rapture and adoration.  It
was not without reason he had expatiated upon the personal attractions of
this young lady, whom, for the present, we shall call Monimia, a name
that implies her orphan situation.  When she entered the room, even
Fathom, whose eyes had been sated with beauty, was struck dumb with
admiration, and could scarce recollect himself so far as to perform the
ceremony of his introduction.

She seemed to be about the age of eighteen.  Her stature was tall; her
motion graceful.  A knot of artificial flowers restrained the luxuriancy
of her fine black hair, that flowed in shining ringlets adown her snowy
neck.  The contour of her face was oval; her forehead remarkably high;
her complexion clean and delicate, though not florid; and her eyes were
so piercing, as to strike the soul of every beholder.  Yet, upon this
occasion, one half of their vivacity was eclipsed by a languishing air of
melancholy concern; which, while it in a manner sheathed the edge of her
beauty, added a most engaging sweetness to her looks.  In short, every
feature was elegantly perfect; and the harmony of the whole ravishing and
delightful.

It was easy to perceive the mutual sentiments of the two lovers at
meeting, by the pleasure that sensibly diffused itself in the
countenances of both.  Fathom was received by her as the intimate friend
of her admirer, whom she had often heard of in terms of the most sincere
affection; and the conversation was carried on in the Italian language,
because she was a foreigner who had not as yet made great proficiency in
the knowledge of the English tongue.  Her understanding was such as,
instead of diminishing, reinforced the prepossession which was inspired
by her appearance; and if the sum-total of her charms could not melt the
heart, it at least excited the appetite of Fathom to such a degree, that
he gazed upon her with such violence of desire, as had never transported
him before; and he instantly began to harbour thoughts, not only
destructive to the peace of his generous patron, but also to the
prudential maxims he had adopted on his first entrance into life.

We have already recorded divers instances of his conduct to prove that
there was an intemperance in his blood, which often interfered with his
caution; and although he had found means to render this heat sometimes
subservient to his interest, yet, in all probability, Heaven mingled the
ingredient in his constitution, on purpose to counteract his consummate
craft, defeat the villany of his intention, and at least expose him to
the justice of the law, and the contempt of his fellow-creatures.

Stimulated as he was by the beauty of the incomparable Monimia, he
foresaw that the conquest of her heart would cost him a thousand times
more labour and address than all the victories he had ever achieved; for,
besides her superior understanding, her sentiments of honour, virtue,
gratitude, religion, and pride of birth, her heart was already engaged by
the tenderest ties of love and obligation, to a man whose person and
acquired accomplishments at least equalled his own; and whose connexion
with him was of such a nature as raised an almost insurmountable bar to
his design; because, with what face could he commence rival to the person
whose family had raised him from want and servility, and whose own
generosity had rescued him from the miseries of a dreary gaol?

Notwithstanding these reflections, he would not lay aside an idea which
so agreeably flattered his imagination.  He, like every other projector
in the same circumstances, was so partial to his own qualifications, as
to think the lady would soon perceive a difference between him and
Renaldo that could not fail to turn to his advantage in her opinion.  He
depended a good deal on the levity and inconstancy of the sex; and did
not doubt that, in the course of their acquaintance, he should profit by
that languor which often creeps upon and flattens the intercourse of
lovers cloyed with the sight and conversation of each other.

This way of arguing was very natural to a man who had never known other
motives than those of sensuality and convenience; and perhaps, upon these
maxims, he might have succeeded with nine-tenths of the fair sex.  But,
for once, he erred in his calculation; Monimia's soul was perfect, her
virtue impregnable.  His first approaches were, as usual, performed by
the method of insinuation, which succeeded so well, that in a few days he
actually acquired a very distinguished share of her favour and esteem.
To this he had been recommended, in the warmest strain of exaggerating
friendship, by her dear Renaldo; so that, placing the most unreserved
confidence in his honour and integrity, and being almost quite destitute
of acquaintance, she made no scruple of owning herself pleased with his
company and conversation; and therefore he was never abridged in point of
opportunity.  She had too much discernment to overlook his uncommon
talents and agreeable address, and too much susceptibility to observe
them with indifference.  She not only regarded him as the confidant of
her lover, but admired him as a person whose attachment did honour to
Count Melvil's choice.  She found his discourse remarkably entertaining,
his politeness dignified with an air of uncommon sincerity, and she was
ravished with his skill in music, an art of which she was deeply
enamoured.

While he thus ingratiated himself with the fair Monimia, Renaldo rejoiced
at their intimacy, being extremely happy in the thought of having found a
friend who could amuse and protect the dear creature in his absence.
That she might be the better prepared for the temporary separation which
he meditated, he began to be less frequent in his visits, or rather to
interrupt, by gradual intermissions, the constant attendance he had
bestowed upon her since her mother's death.  This alteration she was
enabled to bear by the assiduities of Fathom, when she understood that
her lover was indispensably employed in negotiating a sum of money for
the purposes of his intended voyage.  This was really the case; for, as
the reader hath been already informed, the provision he had made for that
emergency was expended in behalf of our adventurer; and the persons of
whom he had borrowed it, far from approving of the use to which it was
put, and accommodating him with a fresh supply, reproached him with his
benevolence as an act of dishonesty to them; and, instead of favouring
this second application, threatened to distress him for what he had
already received.  While he endeavoured to surmount these difficulties,
his small reversion was quite exhausted, and he saw himself on the brink
of wanting the common necessaries of life.

There was no difficulty which he could not have encountered with
fortitude, had he alone been concerned.  But his affection and regard for
Monimia were of such a delicate nature, that, far from being able to bear
the prospect of her wanting the least convenience, he could not endure
that she should suspect her situation cost him a moment's perplexity;
because he foresaw it would wring her gentle heart with unspeakable
anguish and vexation.  This, therefore, he endeavoured to anticipate by
expressions of confidence in the Emperor's equity, and frequent
declarations touching the goodness and security of that credit from which
he derived his present subsistence.




CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

ANECDOTES OF POVERTY, AND EXPERIMENTS FOR THE BENEFIT OF THOSE WHOM IT
MAY CONCERN.


His affairs being thus circumstanced, it is not to be supposed that he
passed his time in tranquillity.  Every day ushered in new demands and
fresh anxiety; for though his economy was frugal, it could not be
supported without money; and now not only his funds were drained, but
also his private friends tired of relieving his domestic necessities;
nay, they began to relinquish his company, which formerly they had
coveted; and those who still favoured him with their company embittered
that favour with disagreeable advice, mingled with impertinent reproof.
They loudly exclaimed against the last instance of his friendship for
Fathom, as a piece of wrong-headed extravagance, which neither his
fortune could afford nor his conscience excuse; and alleged that such
specimens of generosity are vicious in any man, let his finances be never
so opulent, if he has any relations of his own who need his assistance;
but altogether scandalous, not to say unjust, in a person who depends for
his own support on the favour of his friends.

These expostulations did not even respect the beauteous, the
accomplished, the gentle-hearted, the orphan Monimia.  Although they
owned her perfections, and did not deny that it would be highly
meritorious in any man of fortune to make her happy, they disapproved of
Renaldo's attachment to the fair beggar, made light of that intimate
union of hearts which subsisted between the two lovers, and which no
human consideration could dissolve; and some among them, in the
consummation of their prudence, ventured to hint a proposal of providing
for her in the service of some lady of fashion.

Any reader of sensibility will easily conceive how these admonitions were
relished by a young gentleman whose pride was indomitable, whose notions
of honour were scrupulously rigid and romantic, whose temper was warm,
and whose love was intense.  Every such suggestion was as a dagger to his
soul; and what rendered the torture more exquisite, he lay under
obligations to those very persons whose selfish and sordid sentiments he
disdained; so that he was restricted by gratitude from giving vent to his
indignation, and his forlorn circumstances would not permit him to
renounce their acquaintance.  While he struggled with these
mortifications, his wants grew more and more importunate, and his
creditors became clamorous.

Fathom, to whom all his grievances were disclosed, lamented his hard hap
with all the demonstrations of sympathy which he could expect to find in
such a zealous adherent.  He upbraided himself incessantly as the cause
of his patron's distress; took God to witness that he would rather have
perished in gaol than have enjoyed his liberty, had he known it would
have cost his dearest friend and benefactor one-tenth part of the anguish
he now saw him suffer; and, in conclusion, the fervency of his affection
glowed to such a degree, that he offered to beg, steal, or plunder on the
highway, for Renaldo's assistance.

Certain it is, he might have recollected a less disagreeable expedient
than any of these to alleviate the pangs of this unhappy lover; for, at
that very period he was possessed of money and moveables to the amount of
a much greater sum than that which was necessary to remove the severest
pangs of the Count's misfortune.  But, whether he did not reflect upon
this resource, or was willing to let Melvil be better acquainted with
adversity, which is the great school of life, I shall leave the reader to
determine.  Yet, so far was he from supplying the wants of the young
Hungarian, that he did not scruple to receive a share of the miserable
pittance which that gentleman made shift to extort from the complaisance
of a few companions, whose countenance he still enjoyed.

Renaldo's life was now become a sacrifice to the most poignant distress.
Almost his whole time was engrossed by a double scheme, comprehending his
efforts to render his departure practicable, and his expedients for
raising the means of daily bread.  With regard to the first, he exerted
himself among a set of merchants, some of whom knew his family and
expectations; and, for the last, he was fain to depend upon the
assistance of a few intimates, who were not in a condition to furnish him
with sums of consequence.  These, however, gradually dropped off, on
pretence of friendly resentment for his indiscreet conduct; so that he
found himself naked and deserted by all his former companions, except one
gentleman, with whom he had lived in the most unreserved correspondence,
as with a person of the warmest friendship, and the most unbounded
benevolence; nay, he had actually experienced repeated proofs of his
generosity; and such were the Count's sentiments of the gratitude, love,
and esteem, which were due to the author of these obligations, that he
would have willingly laid down his own life for his interest or
advantage.  He had already been at different times accommodated by this
benefactor with occasional supplies, amounting in the whole to about
forty or fifty pounds; and so fearful was he of taking any step by which
he might forfeit the goodwill of this gentleman, that he struggled with
unparelleled difficulty and vexation, before he could prevail upon
himself to put his liberality to another proof.

What maxims of delicacy will not the dire calls of necessity infringe!
Reduced to the alternative of applying once more to that beneficence
which had never failed him, or of seeing Monimia starve, he chose the
first, as of two evils the least, and intrusted Fathom with a letter
explaining the bitterness of his case.  It was not without trepidation
that he received in the evening from his messenger an answer to this
billet; but what were his pangs when he learned the contents!  The
gentleman, after having professed himself Melvil's sincere well-wisher,
gave him to understand, that he was resolved for the future to detach
himself from every correspondence which would be inconvenient for him to
maintain; that he considered his intimacy with the Count in that light;
yet, nevertheless, if his distress was really as great as he had
described it, he would still contribute something towards his relief; and
accordingly had sent by the bearer five guineas for that purpose; but
desired him to take notice, that, in so doing, he laid himself under some
difficulty.

Renaldo's grief and mortification at this disappointment were
unspeakable.  He now saw demolished the last screen betwixt him and the
extremity of indigence and woe; he beheld the mistress of his soul
abandoned to the bleakest scenes of poverty and want; and he deeply
resented the lofty strain of the letter, by which he conceived himself
treated as a worthless spendthrift and importunate beggar.  Though his
purse was exhausted to the last shilling; though he was surrounded with
necessities and demands, and knew not how to provide another meal for his
fair dependent, he, in opposition to all the suggestions and eloquence of
Fathom, despatched him with the money and another billet, intimating, in
the most respectful terms, that he approved of his friend's new-adopted
maxim, which, for the future, he should always take care to remember; and
that he had sent back the last instance of his bounty, as a proof how
little he was disposed to incommode his benefactor.

This letter, though sincerely meant, and written in a very serious mood,
the gentleman considered as an ungrateful piece of irony, and in that
opinion complained to several persons of the Count's acquaintance, who
unanimously exclaimed against him as a sordid, unthankful, and profligate
knave, that abused and reviled those very people who had generously
befriended him, whenever they found it inconvenient to nourish his
extravagance with further supplies.  Notwithstanding these accumulated
oppressions, he still persevered with fortitude in his endeavours to
disentangle himself from this maze of misery.  To these he was encouraged
by a letter which about this time he received from his sister, importing,
that she had good reason to believe the real will of her father had been
suppressed for certain sinister views; and desiring him to hasten his
departure for Hungary, where he would still find some friends who were
both able and willing to support his cause.  He had some trinkets left;
the pawnbroker's shop was still open; and hitherto he made shift to
conceal from Monimia the extent of his affliction.

The money-broker whom he employed, after having amused him with a variety
of schemes, which served no other purpose than that of protracting his
own job, at length undertook to make him acquainted with a set of monied
men who had been very venturous in lending sums upon personal security;
he was therefore introduced to their club in the most favourable manner,
after the broker had endeavoured to prepossess them separately, with
magnificent ideas of his family and fortune.--By means of this
anticipation he was received with a manifest relaxation of that severity
which people of this class mingle in their aspects to the world in
general; and they even vied with each other in their demonstrations of
hospitality and respect; for every one in particular looked upon him as a
young heir, who would bleed freely, and mortgage at cent. per cent.

Renaldo, buoyed up with these exterior civilities, began to flatter
himself with hopes of success, which, however, were soon checked by the
nature of the conversation; during which the chairman upbraided one of
the members in open club for having once lent forty pounds upon slight
security.  The person accused alleged, in his own defence, that the
borrower was his own kinsman, whose funds he knew to be sufficient; that
he had granted his bond, and been at the expense of insuring his life for
the money; and, in conclusion, had discharged it to the day with great
punctuality.  These allegations were not deemed exculpatory by the rest
of the assembly, who with one voice pronounced him guilty of
unwarrantable rashness and indiscretion, which, in time coming, must
undoubtedly operate to the prejudice of his character and credit.

This was a bitter declaration to the young Count, who nevertheless
endeavoured to improve the footing he had gained among them, by courting
their company, conforming to their manners, and attentively listening to
their discourse.  When he had cultivated them with great assiduity for
the space of some weeks, dined at their houses upon pressing invitations,
and received repeated offers of service and friendship, believing that
things were now ripe for the purpose, he, one day, at a tavern to which
he had invited him to dinner, ventured to disclose his situation to him
whose countenance was the least unpromising; and as he introduced the
business with a proposal of borrowing money, he perceived his eyes
sparkle with a visible alacrity, from which he drew a happy presage.
But, alas! this was no more than a transient gleam of sunshine, which was
suddenly obumbrated by the sequel of his explanation; insomuch, that,
when the merchant understood the nature of the security, his visage was
involved in a most disagreeable gloom, and his eyes distorted into a most
hideous obliquity of vision; indeed, he squinted so horribly, that
Renaldo was amazed and almost affrighted at his looks, until he perceived
that this distortion proceeded from concern for a silver tobacco box
which he had laid down by him on the table, after having filled his pipe.
As the youth proceeded to unfold his necessities, the other became
gradually alarmed for this utensil, to which he darted his eyes askance
in this preternatural direction, until he had slyly secured it in his
pocket.

Having made this successful conveyance, he shifted his eyes alternately
from the young gentleman to the broker for a considerable pause, during
which he in silence reproached the last for introducing such a beggarly
varlet to his acquaintance; then taking the pipe from his mouth, "Sir,"
said he, addressing himself to the Count, "if I had all the inclination
in the world to comply with your proposal, it is really not in my power.
My correspondents abroad have remitted such a number of bad bills of
late, that all my running cash hath been exhausted in supporting their
credit.  Mr. Ferret, sure I am, you was not ignorant of my situation; and
I'm not a little surprised that you should bring the gentleman to me on
business of this kind; but, as the wise man observes, Bray a fool in a
mortar, and he'll never be wise."  So saying, with a most emphatic glance
directed to the broker, he rung the bell, and called for the reckoning;
when, finding that he was to be the guest of Renaldo, he thanked him
drily for his good cheer, and in an abrupt manner took himself away.

Though baffled in this quarter, the young gentleman would not despair;
but forthwith employed Mr. Ferret in an application to another of the
society; who, after having heard the terms of his commission, desired him
to tell his principal, that he could do nothing without the concurrence
of his partner, who happened to be at that time in one of our American
plantations.  A third being solicited, excused himself on account of an
oath which he had lately taken on the back of a considerable loss.  A
fourth being tried, made answer, that it was not in his way.  And a fifth
candidly owned, that he never lent money without proper security.

Thus the forlorn Renaldo tried every experiment without success, and now
saw the last ray of hope extinguished.  Well-nigh destitute of present
support, and encompassed with unrelenting duns, he was obliged to keep
within doors, and seek some comfort in the conversation of his charming
mistress, and his faithful friend; yet, even there, he experienced the
extremest rigour of adverse fate.  Every rap at the door alarmed him with
the expectation of some noisy tradesman demanding payment.  When he
endeavoured to amuse himself with drawing, some unlucky feature of the
occasional portrait recalled the image of an obdurate creditor, and made
him tremble at the work of his own hands.  When he fled for shelter to
the flattering creation of fancy, some abhorred idea always started up
amidst the gay vision, and dissolved the pleasing enchantment.--Even the
seraphic voice of Monimia had no longer power to compose the anxious
tumults of his mind.  Every song she warbled, every tune she played,
recalled to his remembrance some scene of love and happiness elapsed; and
overwhelmed his soul with the woful comparison of past and present fate.
He saw all that was amiable and perfect in woman, all that he held most
dear and sacred upon earth, tottering on the brink of misery, without
knowing the danger of her situation, and found himself unable to prevent
her fall, or even to forewarn her of the peril; for as we have already
observed, his soul could not brook the thought of communicating the
tidings of distress to the tender-hearted Monimia.




CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

RENALDO'S DISTRESS DEEPENS, AND FATHOM'S PLOT THICKENS.


Such aggravated misfortune could not fail to affect his temper and
deportment.  The continual efforts he made to conceal his vexation
produced a manifest distraction in his behaviour and discourse.  He began
to be seized with horror at the sight of poor Monimia, whom he therefore
shunned as much as the circumstances of their correspondence would allow;
and every evening he went forth alone to some solitary place, where he
could, unperceived, give a loose to the transports of his sorrow, and in
silence meditate some means to lighten the burden of his woe.  His heart
was sometimes so savaged with despair, which represented mankind as his
inveterate enemies, that he entertained thoughts of denouncing war
against the whole community, and supplying his own wants with the spoils
he should win.  At other times he was tempted with the desire of putting
an end to his miseries and life together.  Yet these were but the
transitory suggestions of temporary madness, that soon yielded to the
dictates of reason.  From the execution of the first he was restrained by
his own notions of honour and morality; and, from using the other
expedient, he was deterred by his love for Monimia, together with the
motives of philosophy and religion.

While in this manner he secretly nursed the worm of grief that preyed
upon his vitals, the alteration in his countenance and conduct did not
escape the eyes of that discerning young lady.  She was alarmed at the
change, yet afraid to inquire into the source of it; for, being ignorant
of his distress, she could impute it to no cause in which her happiness
was not deeply interested.  She had observed his strained complaisance
and extraordinary emotion.  She had detected him in repeated attempts to
avoid her company, and taken notice of his regular excursions in the
dark.  These were alarming symptoms to a lover of her delicacy and pride.
She strove in vain to put the most favourable construction on what she
saw; and, finally, imputed the effects of his despondence to the
alienation of his heart.  Made miserable beyond expression by these
suspicions, she imparted them to Fathom, who, by this time, was in full
possession of her confidence and esteem, and implored his advice touching
her conduct in such a nice conjuncture.

This artful politician, who rejoiced at the effect of her penetration, no
sooner heard himself questioned on the subject, than he gave tokens of
surprise and confusion, signifying his concern to find she had discovered
what, for the honour of his friend, he wished had never come to light.
His behaviour on this occasion confirmed her fatal conjecture; and she
conjured him, in the most pathetic manner, to tell her if he thought
Renaldo's heart had contracted any new engagement.  At this question, he
started with signs of extreme agitation, and stifling an artificial sigh,
"Sure, madam," said he, "you cannot doubt the Count's constancy--I am
confident--he is certainly--I protest, madam, I am so shocked."

Here he made a full pause, as if the conflict between his integrity and
his friendship would not allow him to proceed, and summoned the moisture
into either eye--"Then are my doubts removed," cried the afflicted
Monimia; "I see your candour in the midst of your attachment to Renaldo;
and will no longer torment you with impertinent interrogations and vain
complaints."  With these words, a flood of tears gushed from her
enchanting eyes, and she instantly withdrew into her own apartment, where
she indulged her sorrow to excess.  Nor was her grief unanimated with
resentment.  She was by birth, nature, and education inspired with that
dignity of pride which ennobles the human heart; and this, by the
circumstance of her present dependence, was rendered extremely jealous
and susceptible; insomuch that she could not brook the least shadow of
indifference, much less an injury of such a nature, from the man whom she
had honoured with her affections, and for whom she had disobliged and
deserted her family and friends.

Though her love was so unalterably fixed on this unhappy youth, that,
without the continuation of reciprocal regard, her life would have become
an unsupportable burden, even amidst all the splendour of affluence and
pomp; and although she foresaw, that, when his protection should cease,
she must be left a wretched orphan in a foreign land, exposed to all the
miseries of want; yet, such was the loftiness of her displeasure, that
she disdained to complain, or even demand an explanation from the
supposed author of her wrongs.

While she continued undetermined in her purpose, and fluctuating on this
sea of torture, Fathom, believing that now was the season for working
upon her passions, while they were all in commotion, became, if possible,
more assiduous than ever about the fair mourner, modelled his features
into a melancholy cast, pretended to share her distress with the most
emphatic sympathy, and endeavoured to keep her resentment glowing by
cunning insinuations, which, though apparently designed to apologise for
his friend, served only to aggravate the guilt of his perfidy and
dishonour.  This pretext of friendly concern is the most effectual
vehicle for the conveyance of malice and slander; and a man's reputation
is never so mortally stabbed, as when the assassin begins with the
preamble of, "For my own part, I can safely say that no man upon earth
has a greater regard for him than I have; and it is with the utmost
anguish and concern that I see him misbehave in such a manner."  Then he
proceeds to mangle his character, and the good-natured hearers,
concluding he is even blacker than he is represented, on the supposition
that the most atrocious circumstances are softened or suppressed by the
tenderness or friendship of the accuser, exclaim, "Good lack! what a
wretch he must be, when his best friends will no longer attempt to defend
him!"  Nay, sometimes these well-wishers undertake his defence, and
treacherously betray the cause they have espoused, by omitting the
reasons that may be urged in his vindication.

Both these methods were practised by the wily Ferdinand, according to the
predominant passion of Monimia.  When her indignation prevailed, he
expatiated upon his love and sincere regard for Renaldo, which, he said,
had grown up from the cradle, to such a degree of fervour, that he would
willingly part with life for his advantage.  He shed tears for his
apostasy; but every drop made an indelible stain upon his character; and,
in the bitterness of his grief, swore, notwithstanding his fondness for
Renaldo, which had become a part of his constitution, that the young
Hungarian deserved the most infamous destiny for having injured such
perfection.  At other times, when he found her melted into silent sorrow,
he affected to excuse the conduct of his friend.  He informed her, that
the young gentleman's temper had been uneven from his infancy; that
frailty was natural to man; that he might in time be reclaimed by
self-conviction; he even hinted, that she might have probably ascribed
to inconstancy, what was really the effect of some chagrin which he
industriously concealed from his participation.  But, when he found her
disposed to listen to this last suggestion, he destroyed the force of it,
by recollecting the circumstances of his nocturnal rambles, which, he
owned, would admit of no favourable construction.

By these means he blew the coals of her jealousy, and enhanced the value
of his own character at the same time; for she looked upon him as a
mirror of faith and integrity, and the mind being overcharged with woe,
naturally seeks some confidant, upon whose sympathy it can repose itself.
Indeed, his great aim was to make himself necessary to her affliction,
and settle a gossiping correspondence, in the familiarity of which he
hoped his purpose would certainly be answered.

Yet the exertion of these talents was not limited to her alone.  While he
laid these trains for the hapless young lady, he was preparing snares of
another kind for her unsuspecting lover, who, for the completion of his
misery, about this time began to perceive marks of disquiet and
displeasure in the countenance and deportment of his adored Monimia.  For
that young lady, in the midst of her grief, remembered her origin, and
over her vexation affected to throw a veil of tranquillity, which served
only to give an air of disgust to her internal disturbance.

Renaldo, whose patience and philosophy were barely sufficient to bear the
load of his other evils, would have been quite overwhelmed with the
additional burden of Monimia's woe, if it had not assumed this appearance
of disesteem, which, as he knew he had not deserved it, brought his
resentment to his assistance.  Yet this was but a wretched cordial to
support him against the baleful reflections that assaulted him from every
quarter; it operated like those desperate remedies, which, while they
stimulate exhausted nature, help to destroy the very fundamentals of the
constitution.  He reviewed his own conduct with the utmost severity, and
could not recollect one circumstance which could justly offend the idol
of his soul.  The more blameless he appeared to himself in this
examination, the less excusable did her behaviour appear.  He tasked his
penetration to discover the cause of this alteration; he burned with
impatience to know it; his discernment failed him, and he was afraid,
though he knew not why, to demand an explanation.  His thoughts were so
circumstanced, that he durst not even unbosom himself to Fathom, though
his own virtue and friendship resisted those sentiments that began to
intrude upon his mind, with suggestions to the prejudice of our
adventurer's fidelity.

Nevertheless, unable to endure the torments of such interesting suspense,
he at length made an effort to expostulate with the fair orphan; and in
an abrupt address, the effect of his fear and confusion, begged to know
if he had inadvertently done anything to incur her displeasure.  Monimia,
hearing herself bluntly accosted in this unusual strain, after repeated
instances of his reserve and supposed inconstancy, considered the
question as a fresh insult, and, summoning her whole pride to her
assistance, replied, with affected tranquillity, or rather with an air of
scorn, that she had no title to judge, neither did she pretend to condemn
his conduct.  This answer, so wide of that tenderness and concern which
had hitherto manifested itself in the disposition of his amiable
mistress, deprived him of all power to carry on the conversation, and he
retired with a low bow, fully convinced of his having irretrievably lost
the place he had possessed in her affection; for, to his imagination,
warped and blinded by his misfortunes, her demeanour seemed fraught, not
with a transient gleam of anger, which a respectful lover would soon have
appeased, but with that contempt and indifference which denote a total
absence of affection and esteem.  She, on the other hand, misconstrued
his sudden retreat; and now they beheld the actions of each other through
the false medium of prejudice and resentment.  To such fatal
misunderstandings the peace and happiness of whole families often fall a
sacrifice.




CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

OUR ADVENTURER BECOMES ABSOLUTE IN HIS POWER OVER THE PASSIONS OF HIS
FRIEND, AND EFFECTS ONE HALF OF HIS AIM.


Influenced by this dire mistake, the breast of those unhappy lovers
began to be invaded with the horrors of jealousy.  The tender-hearted
Monimia endeavoured to devour her griefs in silence; she in secret
bemoaned her forlorn fate without ceasing; her tears flowed without
intermission from night to morn, and from morn to night.  She sought not
to know the object for which she was forsaken; she meant not to upbraid
her undoer; her aim was to find a sequestered corner, in which she could
indulge her sorrow; where she could brood over the melancholy remembrance
of her former felicity; where she could recollect those happy scenes she
had enjoyed under the wings of her indulgent parents, when her whole life
was a revolution of pleasures, and she was surrounded with affluence,
pomp, and admiration; where she could, unmolested, dwell upon the
wretched comparison between her past and present condition, and paint
every circumstance of her misery in the most aggravating colours, that
they might make the deeper impression upon her mind, and the more
speedily contribute to that dissolution for which she ardently wished, as
a total release from woe.

Amidst these pinings, she began to loathe all sustenance; her cheeks grew
wan, her bright eyes lost their splendour, the roses vanished from her
lips, and her delicate limbs could hardly support their burden; in a
word, her sole consolation was limited to the prospect of depositing her
sorrows in the grave; and her only wish was to procure a retreat in which
she might wait with resignation for that happy period.  Yet this
melancholy comfort she could not obtain without the advice and mediation
of Fathom, whom she therefore still continued to see and consult.  While
these consultations were held, Renaldo's bosom was ravaged with tempests
of rage and distraction.  He believed himself superseded in the affection
of his mistress, by some favoured rival, whose success rankled at his
soul; and though he scarce durst communicate the suspicion to his own
heart, his observation continually whispered to him that he was
supplanted by his friend Fathom; for Monimia was totally detached from
the conversation of every other man, and he had of late noted their
intercourse with distempered eyes.

These considerations sometimes transported him to such a degree of
frenzy, that he was tempted to sacrifice them both as traitors to
gratitude, friendship, and love; but such deliriums soon vanished before
his honour and humanity.  He would not allow himself to think amiss of
Ferdinand, until some undoubted mark of his guilt should appear; and this
was so far from being the case, that hitherto there was scarce a
presumption.  "On the contrary," said he to himself, "I am hourly
receiving proofs of his sympathy and attachment.  Not but that he may be
the innocent cause of my mishap.  His superior qualifications may have
attracted the eye, and engaged the heart of that inconstant fair, without
his being sensible of the victory he has won; or, perhaps, shocked at the
conquest he hath unwillingly made, he discourages her advances, tries to
reason down her unjustifiable passion, and in the meantime conceals from
me the particulars, out of regard to my happiness and quiet."

Under cover of these favourable conjectures, our adventurer securely
prosecuted his scheme upon the unfortunate Monimia.  He dedicated himself
wholly to her service and conversation, except at those times when his
company was requested by Renaldo, who now very seldom exacted his
attendance.  In his ministry about the person of the beauteous orphan,
this cunning incendiary mingled such awful regard, such melting
compassion, as effectually screened him from the suspicion of treachery,
while he widened the fatal breach between her and her lover by the most
diabolical insinuations.  He represented his friend as a voluptuary, who
gratified his own appetite without the least regard to honour or
conscience; and, with a show of infinite reluctance, imparted some
anecdotes of his sensuality, which he had feigned for the purpose; then
he would exclaim in an affected transport, "Gracious Heaven! is it
possible for any man who has the least title to perception or humanity to
injure such innocence and perfection! for my own part, had I been so
undeservedly happy--Heaven and earth! forgive my transports, madam, I
cannot help seeing and admiring such divine attractions.  I cannot help
resenting your wrongs; it is the cause of virtue I espouse; it ought to
be the cause of every honest man."

He had often repeated such apostrophes as these, which she ascribed to
nothing else than sheer benevolence and virtuous indignation, and
actually began to think he had made some impression upon her heart, not
that he now entertained the hope of an immediate triumph over her
chastity.  The more he contemplated her character, the more difficult the
conquest seemed to be: he therefore altered his plan, and resolved to
carry on his operations under the shelter of honourable proposals,
foreseeing that a wife of her qualifications, if properly managed, would
turn greatly to the account of the husband, or, if her virtue should
prove refractory, that he could at any time rid himself of the
encumbrance, by decamping without beat of drum, after he should be cloyed
with possession.

Elevated by these expectations, he one day, in the midst of a
preconcerted rhapsody, importing that he could no longer conceal the fire
that preyed upon his heart, threw himself on his knees before the lovely
mourner, and imprinted a kiss on her fair hand.  Though he did not
presume to take this liberty till after such preparation as he thought
had altogether extinguished her regard for Melvil, and paved the way for
his own reception in room of that discarded lover, he had so far overshot
his mark, that Monimia, instead of favouring his declaration, started up,
and retired in silence, her cheeks glowing with shame, and her eyes
gleaming with indignation.

Ferdinand no sooner recovered from the confusion produced by this
unexpected repulse, than he saw the necessity of coming to a speedy
determination, lest the offended fair one should appeal to Renaldo, in
which case they might be mutually undeceived, to his utter shame and
confusion; he therefore resolved to deprecate her anger by humble
supplications, and by protesting, that, whatever tortures he might suffer
by suppressing his sentiments, she should never again be offended with a
declaration of his passion.

Having thus appeased the gentle Monimia, and discovered that, in spite of
her resentment, his friend still kept possession of her heart, he
determined to work an effectual separation, so as that the young lady,
being utterly deserted by Melvil, should be left altogether in his power.
With this Christian intention, he began to sadden his visage with a
double shade of pensive melancholy, in the presence of Renaldo, to stifle
a succession of involuntary sighs, to answer from the purpose, to be
incoherent in his discourse, and, in a word, to act the part of a person
wrapt up in sorrowful cogitation.

Count Melvil, soon as he perceived these symptoms, very kindly inquired
into the cause of them, and was not a little alarmed to hear the artful
and evasive answers of Ferdinand, who, without disclosing the source of
his disquiet, earnestly begged leave to retire into some other corner of
the world.  Roused by this entreaty, the Hungarian's jealousy awoke, and
with violent agitation, he exclaimed, "Then are my fears too true, my
dear Fathom: I comprehend the meaning of your request.  I have for some
time perceived an host of horrors approaching from that quarter.  I know
your worth and honour.  I depend upon your friendship, and conjure you,
by all the ties of it, to free me at once from the most miserable
suspense, by owning you have involuntarily captivated the heart of that
unhappy maiden."

To this solemn interrogation he made no reply, but shedding a flood of
tears, of which he had always a magazine at command, he repeated his
desire of withdrawing, and took God to witness, that what he proposed was
solely for the quiet of his honoured patron and beloved friend.
"Enough," cried the unfortunate Renaldo, "the measure of my woes is now
filled up."  So saying, he fell backwards in a swoon, from which he was
with difficulty recovered to the sensation of the most exquisite
torments.  During this paroxysm, our adventurer nursed him with infinite
care and tenderness, he exhorted him to summon all his fortitude to his
assistance, to remember his forefathers, and exert himself in the
imitation of their virtues, to fly from those bewitching charms which had
enslaved his better part, to retrieve his peace of mind by reflecting on
the inconstancy and ingratitude of woman, and amuse his imagination in
the pursuit of honour and glory.

After these admonitions he abused his ears with a forged detail of the
gradual advances made to him by Monimia, and the steps he had taken to
discourage her addresses, and re-establish her virtue, poisoning the mind
of that credulous youth to such a degree, that, in all probability, he
would have put a fatal period to his own existence, had not Fathom found
means to allay the rage of his ecstasy, by the cunning arrangement of
opposite considerations.  He set his pride against his love, he opposed
his resentment to his sorrow, and his ambition to his despair.
Notwithstanding the balance of power so settled among these antagonists,
so violent were the shocks of their successive conflicts, that his bosom
fared like a wretched province, harassed, depopulated, and laid waste, by
two fierce contending armies.  From this moment his life was nothing but
an alternation of starts and reveries; he wept and raved by turns,
according to the prevailing gust of passion; food became a stranger to
his lips, and sleep to his eyelids; he could not support the presence of
Monimia, her absence increased the torture of his pangs; and, when he met
her by accident, he started back with horror, like a traveller who
chances to tread upon a snake.

The poor afflicted orphan, worn to a shadow with self-consuming anguish,
eager to find some lowly retreat, where she could breath out her soul in
peace, and terrified at the frantic behaviour of Renaldo, communicated to
Fathom her desire of removing, and begged that he would take a small
picture of her father, decorated with diamonds, and convert them into
money, for the expense of her subsistence.  This was the last pledge of
her family, which she had received from her mother, who had preserved it
in the midst of numberless distresses, and no other species of misery but
that which she groaned under could have prevailed upon the daughter to
part with it; but, exclusive of other motives, the very image itself, by
recalling to her mind the honours of her name, upbraided her with living
in dependence upon a man who had treated her with such indignity and
ingratitude; besides, she flattered herself with the hope that she should
not long survive the loss of this testimonial.

Our adventurer, with many professions of sorrow and mortification at his
own want of capacity to prevent such an alienation, undertook to dispose
of it to the best advantage, and to provide her with a cheap and retired
apartment, to which he would conduct her in safety, though at the hazard
of his life.  In the meantime, however, he repaired to his friend
Renaldo, and, after having admonished him to arm his soul with patience
and philosophy, declared that Monimia's guilty passion for himself could
no longer be kept within bounds, that she had conjured him, in the most
pressing manner, to assist her in escaping from an house which she
considered as the worst of dungeons, because she was in it daily exposed
to the sight and company of a man whom she detested, and that she had
bribed him to compliance with her request, not only with repeated
promises of eternal love and submission, but also with the picture of her
father set with diamonds, which she had hitherto reserved as the last and
greatest testimony of her affection and esteem.

With these words he presented the fatal pledge to the eyes of the
astonished youth, upon whom it operated like the poisonous sight of the
basilisk, for in an instant, the whole passions of his soul were in the
most violent agitation.  "What!" cried he, in an ecstasy of rage, "is she
so abandoned to perfidy, so lost to shame, so damned to constancy, to
gratitude, and virtuous love, as to meditate the means of leaving me
without decency, without remorse! to forsake me in my adversity, when my
hapless fortune can no longer flatter the pride and vanity of her
expectation!  O woman! woman! woman! what simile shall I find to
illustrate the character of the sex?  But I will not have recourse to
vain complaints and feeble exclamations.  By Heaven! she shall not
'scape, she shall not triumph in her levity, she shall not exult in my
distress; no!  I will rather sacrifice her to my just resentment, to the
injured powers of love and friendship.  I will act the avenging minister
of Heaven!  I will mangle that fair bosom, which contains so false a
heart!  I will tear her to pieces, and scatter those beauteous limbs as a
prey to the beasts of the field, and the fowls of the air!"

Fathom, who expected this storm, far from attempting to oppose its
progress, waited with patience until its first violence was overblown;
then, assuming an air of condolence, animated with that resolution which
a friend ought to maintain on such occasions, "My dear Count," said he,
"I am not at all surprised at your emotion, because I know what an heart,
susceptible as yours, must feel from the apostasy of one who has reigned
so long the object of your love, admiration, and esteem.  Your endeavours
to drive her from your thoughts must create an agony much more severe
than that which divorces the soul from the body.  Nevertheless, I am so
confident of your virtue and your manhood, as to foresee, that you will
allow the fair Monimia to execute that resolution which she hath so
unwisely taken, to withdraw herself from your love and protection.
Believe me, my best friend and benefactor, this is a step, in consequence
of which you will infallibly retrieve your peace of mind.  It may cost
you many bitter pangs, it may probe your wounds to the quick; but those
pangs will be soothed by the gentle and salutary wing of time, and that
probing will rouse you to a due sense of your own dignity and importance,
which will enable you to convert your attention to objects far more
worthy of your contemplation.  All the hopes of happiness you had
cherished in the possession of Monimia are now irrecoverably blasted; her
heart is now debased beneath your consideration; her love is, without all
doubt, extinguished, and her honour irretrievably lost; insomuch, that,
were she to profess sorrow for her indiscretion, and implore your
forgiveness, with the most solemn promises of regarding you for the
future with unalterable fidelity and affection, you ought not to restore
her to that place in your heart which she hath so meanly forfeited,
because you could not at the same time reinstate her in the possession of
that delicate esteem without which there is no harmony, no rapture, no
true enjoyment in love.

"No, my dear Renaldo, expel the unworthy tenant from your bosom; allow
her to fill up the measure of her ingratitude, by deserting her lover,
friend, and benefactor.  Your glory demands her dismission; the world
will applaud your generosity, and your own heart approve of your conduct.
So disencumbered, let us exert ourselves once more in promoting your
departure from this island, that you may revisit your father's house, do
justice to yourself and amiable sister, and take vengeance on the author
of your wrongs; then dedicate yourself to glory, in imitation of your
renowned ancestors, and flourish in the favour of your imperial patron."

These remonstrances had such an effect upon the Hungarian, that his face
was lighted up with a transient gleam of satisfaction.  He embraced
Ferdinand with great ardour, calling him his pride, his Mentor, his good
genius, and entreated him to gratify the inclination of that fickle
creature so far as to convey her to another lodging, without loss of
time, while he would, by absenting himself, favour their retreat.

Our hero having obtained this permission, went immediately to the skirts
of the town, where he had previously bespoke a small, though neat
apartment, at the house of an old woman, widow of a French refugee.  He
had already reconnoitred the ground, by sounding his landlady, from whose
poverty and complaisance he found reason to expect all sorts of freedom
and opportunity for the accomplishment of his aim upon Monimia's person.
The room being prepared for her reception, he returned to that
disconsolate beauty, to whom he presented ten guineas, which he pretended
to have raised by pledging the picture, though he himself acted as the
pawnbroker on this occasion, for a very plain and obvious reason.

The fair orphan was overjoyed to find her wish so speedily accomplished.
She forthwith packed up her necessaries in a trunk; and a hackney-coach
was called in the dusk of the evening, in which she embarked with her
baggage and conductor.

Yet she did not leave the habitation of Renaldo without regret.  In the
instant of parting, the idea of that unfortunate youth was associated
with every well-known object that presented itself to her eyes; not as an
inconstant, ungenerous, and perjured swain, but as the accomplished, the
virtuous, the melting lover, who had captivated her virgin heart.  As
Fathom led her to the door, she was met by Renaldo's dog, which had long
been her favourite; and the poor animal fawning upon her as she passed,
her heart was overwhelmed with such a gush of tenderness, that a flood of
tears streamed down her cheeks, and she had well-nigh sunk upon the
floor.

Ferdinand, considering this emotion as the last tribute she would pay to
Renaldo, hurried her into the coach, where she soon recovered her
composure; and in a little time he ushered her into the house of Madam la
Mer, by whom she was received with great cordiality, and conducted to her
apartment, with which she found no other fault than that of its being too
good for one in her forlorn situation.  Here, while the tear of gratitude
started in either eye, she thanked our adventurer for his benevolence and
kind concern, assuring him, that she would not fail duly to beseech the
Most High to shower down blessings upon him, as the orphan's friend and
protector.

Fathom was not deficient in those expressions that were best adapted to
her present turn of mind.  He observed, that what he had done was in
obedience to the dictates of common humanity, which would have prompted
him to assist any fellow-creature in distress; but that her peculiar
virtue and qualifications were such as challenged the utmost exertion of
his faculties in her service.  He said, that surely Heaven had not
created such perfection in vain; that she was destined to receive as well
as to communicate happiness; and that the Providence, which she so
piously adored, would not fail, in due season, to raise her from distress
and affliction, to that honour and felicity for which she was certainly
ordained.  In the meantime, he entreated her to depend upon his service
and fidelity, and the article of her board being settled, he left her to
the company and consolation of her discreet hostess, who soon insinuated
herself into the good opinion of her beauteous lodger.

While our hero was employed in this transaction, Renaldo sallied forth in
a sort of intoxication, which Fathom's admonitions had inspired; and,
repairing to a certain noted coffee-house, engaged at chess with an old
French refugee, that his attention, by being otherwise employed, might
not stray towards that fatal object which he ardently wished to forget.
But, unluckily for him, he had scarce performed three moves of the game,
when his ears were exposed to a dialogue between two young gentlemen, one
of whom asked the other if he would go and see the "Orphan" acted at one
of the theatres; observing, as a farther inducement, that the part of
Monimia would be performed by a young gentlewoman who had never appeared
on the stage.  At mention of that name, Renaldo started; for though it
did not properly belong to his orphan, it was the appellation by which
she had been distinguished ever since her separation from her father's
house, and therefore it recalled her to his imagination in the most
interesting point of view.  Though he endeavoured to expel the image, by
a closer application to his play, every now and then it intruded upon his
fancy, and at each return made a stronger impression; so that he found
himself in the situation of an unfortunate bark stranded upon some hidden
rock, which, when the wind begins to blow, feels every succeeding wave
more boisterous than the former, until, with irresistible fury, they
surmount her deck, sweep everything before them, and dash her all to
pieces.

The refugee had observed his first emotion, which he attributed to an
unforeseen advantage he himself had gained over the Hungarian; but seeing
him, in the sequel, bite his lip, roll his eyes, groan, writhe his body,
ejaculate incoherent curses, and neglect his game, the Huguenot concluded
that he was mad, and being seized with terror and dismay, got up and
scampered off, without ceremony or hesitation.

Melvil, thus left to the horrors of his own thought, which tortured him
with the apprehension of losing Monimia for ever, could no longer combat
that suggestion, but ran homewards with all the speed he could exert, in
order to prevent her retreat.  When he crossed the threshold, he was
struck with such a damp of presaging fear, that he durst not in person
approach her apartment, nor even, by questioning the servant, inform
himself of the particulars he wanted to know.  Yet his suspense becoming
more insupportable than his fear, he rushed from room to room in quest of
that which was not to be found; and, seeing Monimia's chamber door open,
entered the deserted temple in a state of distraction, calling aloud upon
her name.  All was silent, solitary, and woful.  "She is gone," he cried,
shedding a flood of tears, "she is for ever lost; and all my hopes of
happiness are fled!"

So saying, he sunk upon that couch on which Monimia had oft reposed, and
abandoned himself to all the excess of grief and despondence.  In this
deplorable condition he was found by our adventurer, who gently chid him
for his want of resolution, and again repelled his sorrow, by arousing
his resentment against the innocent cause of his disquiet, having
beforehand forged the particulars of provocation.

"Is it possible," said he, "that Renaldo can still retain the least
sentiment of regard for a fickle woman, by whom he has been so
ungratefully forsaken and so unjustly scorned?  Is it possible he can be
so disturbed by the loss of a creature who is herself lost to all virtue
and decorum?--Time and reflection, my worthy friend, will cure you of
that inglorious malady.  And the future misconduct of that imprudent
damsel will, doubtless, contribute to the recovery of your peace.  Her
behaviour, at leaving the house where she had received so many marks of
the most delicate affection, was in all respects so opposite to honour
and decency, that I could scarce refrain from telling her I was shocked
at her deportment, even while she loaded me with protestations of love.
When a woman's heart is once depraved, she bids adieu to all
restraint;--she preserves no measures.  It was not simply contempt which
she expressed for Renaldo; she seems to resent his being able to live
under her disdain; and that resentment stoops to objects unworthy of
indignation.  Even your dog was not exempted from the effects of her
displeasure.  For, in her passage to the door, she kicked the poor animal
as one of your dependents; and, in our way to the apartment I had
provided for her, she entertained me with a ludicrous comment upon the
manner in which you first made her acquainted with your passion.  All
that modesty of carriage, all that chastity of conversation, all that
dignity of grief, which she knew so well how to affect, is now entirely
laid aside, and, when I quitted her, she seemed the most gay, giddy, and
impertinent of her sex."

"Gracious powers!" exclaimed Renaldo, starting from the couch, "am I
under the delusion of a dream; or are these things really so, as my
friend has represented them?  Such a total and sudden degeneracy is
amazing! is monstrous and unnatural!"

"Such, my dear Count," replied our hero, "is the caprice of a female
heart, fickle as the wind, uncertain as a calm at sea, fixed to no
principle, but swayed by every fantastic gust of passion, or of whim.
Congratulate yourself, therefore, my friend, upon your happy deliverance
from such a domestic plague--upon the voluntary exile of a traitor from
your bosom.--Recollect the dictates of your duty, your discretion, and
your glory, and think upon the honours and elevated enjoyment for which
you are certainly ordained.  To-night let us over a cheerful bottle
anticipate your success; and to-morrow I will accompany you to the house
of an usurer, who, I am informed, fears no risk, provided twenty per cent
be given, and the borrower's life insured."




CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

THE ART OF BORROWING FURTHER EXPLAINED, AND AN ACCOUNT OF A STRANGE
PHENOMENON.


In this manner did the artful incendiary work upon the passions of the
credulous unsuspecting Hungarian, who pressed him to his breast with the
most cordial expressions of friendship, calling him his guardian, his
saviour, his second father, and gave himself up wholly to his advice.

Next morning, according to the plan they had laid overnight, they
repaired to a tavern in the neighbourhood of the person to whom our
adventurer had been directed, and were fortunate enough to find him in
the house, transacting a money affair with a young gentleman who treated
him with his morning's whet.

That affair being negotiated, he adjourned into another room with Renaldo
and his companion, who were not a little surprised to see this minister
of Plutus in the shape of a young sprightly beau, trimmed up in all the
foppery of the fashion; for they had hitherto always associated with the
idea of an usurer old age and rusty apparel.  After divers modish
congees, he begged to know to what he should attribute the honour of
their message; when Ferdinand, who acted the orator, told him, that his
friend Count Melvil, having occasion for a sum of money, had been
directed to a gentleman of his name, "and, I suppose," added he, "you are
the son of the person with whom the affair is to be negotiated."

"Sir," said this petit-maitre, with a smile, "I perceive you are
surprised to see one of my profession in the appearance of a gentleman;
and perhaps your wonder will not cease, when I tell you, that my
education was liberal, and that I once had the honour to bear a
commission in the British army.  I was indeed a first lieutenant of
marines, and will venture to say, that no officer in the service was more
delicate than myself in observing all the punctilios of honour.  I
entertained the utmost contempt for all the trading part of the nation,
and suffered myself to be run through the body in a duel, rather than
roll with a brother-lieutenant, who was a broker's son.  But, thank
Heaven! I have long ago conquered all those ridiculous prejudices.  I
soon observed, that without money there was no respect, honour, or
convenience to be acquired in life; that wealth amply supplied the want
of wit, merit, and pedigree, having influence and pleasure ever at
command; and that the world never failed to worship the flood of
affluence, without examining the dirty channels through which it commonly
flowed.

"At the end of the war, finding my appointments reduced to two shillings
and fourpence per day, and being addicted to pleasures which I could not
possibly purchase from such a fund, I sold my half-pay for two hundred
pounds, which I lent upon bond to a young officer of the same regiment,
on condition that he should insure his life, and restore one-fourth part
of the sum by way of premium.  I happened to be lucky in this first
essay; for the borrower, having in six weeks expended the money, made an
excursion on the highway, was apprehended, tried, convicted of felony,
and cut his own throat, to prevent the shame of a public execution; so
that his bond was discharged by the insurers.

"In short, gentlemen, when I engaged in this business, I determined to
carry it on with such spirit, as would either make my fortune, or
entirely ruin me in a little time; and hitherto my endeavours have been
tolerably successful.  Nor do I think my proceedings a whit more criminal
or unjust than those of other merchants, who strive to turn their money
to the best account.  The commodity I deal in is cash; and it is my
business to sell it to the best advantage.  A London factor sends a cargo
of goods to market, and if he gets two hundred per cent upon the sale, he
is commended for industry and address.  If I sell money for one-fourth
part of that profit, certain persons will be so unjust as to cry, Shame
upon me, for taking such advantage of my neighbour's distress; not
considering, that the trader took four times the same advantage of those
people who bought his cargo, though his risk was not half so great as
mine, and although the money I sold perhaps retrieved the borrower from
the very jaws of destruction.  For example, it was but yesterday I saved
a worthy man from being arrested for a sum of money, for which he had
bailed a friend who treacherously left him in the lurch.  As he did not
foresee what would happen, he had made no provision for the demand, and
his sphere of life secluding him from all sorts of monied intercourse, he
could not raise the cash by his credit in the usual way of borrowing; so
that, without my assistance, he must have gone to jail; a disgrace which
would have proved fatal to the peace of his family, and utterly ruined
his reputation.--Nay, that very young gentleman, from whom I am just now
parted, will, in all probability, be indebted to me for a very genteel
livelihood.  He had obtained the absolute promise of being provided for
by a great man, who sits at the helm of affairs in a neighbouring
kingdom; but, being destitute of all other resources, he could not have
equipped himself for the voyage, in order to profit by his lordship's
intention, unless I had enabled him to pursue his good fortune."

Renaldo was not a little pleased to hear this harangue, to which Fathom
replied with many florid encomiums upon the usurer's good sense and
humane disposition; then he explained the errand of his friend, which was
to borrow three hundred pounds, in order to retrieve his inheritance, of
which he had been defrauded in his absence.

"Sir," said the lender, addressing himself to Count Melvil, "I pretend to
have acquired by experience some skill in physiognomy; and though there
are some faces so deeply disguised as to baffle all the penetration of
our art, there are others, in which the heart appears with such nakedness
of integrity, as at once to recommend it to our goodwill.  I own your
countenance prepossesses me in your favour; and you shall be
accommodated, upon those terms from which I never deviate, provided you
can find proper security, that you shall not quit the British dominions;
for that, with me, is a condition sine qua non."

This was a very disagreeable declaration to Renaldo, who candidly owned,
that, as his concerns lay upon the Continent, his purpose was to leave
England without delay.  The usurer professed himself sorry that it was
not in his power to oblige him; and, in order to prevent any further
importunity, assured them, he had laid it down as a maxim, from which he
would never swerve, to avoid all dealings with people whom, if need
should be, he could not sue by the laws of this realm.

Thus the intervention of one unlucky and unforeseen circumstance blasted
in an instant the budding hopes of Melvil, who, while his visage
exhibited the most sorrowful disappointment, begged to know, if there was
any person of his acquaintance who might be less scrupulous in that
particular.

The young gentleman directed them to another member of his profession,
and wishing them success, took his leave with great form and
complaisance.  This instance of politeness was, however, no more than a
shift to disengage himself the more easily from their entreaties; for,
when the case was opened to the second usurer, he blessed himself from
such customers, and dismissed them with the most mortifying and boorish
refusal.  Notwithstanding these repulses, Renaldo resolved to make one
desperate push; and, without allowing himself the least respite,
solicited, one by one, not fewer than fifteen persons who dealt in this
kind of traffic, and his proposals were rejected by each.  At last,
fatigued by the toil, and exasperated at the ill success of his
expedition, and half mad with the recollection of his finances, which
were now drained to half-a-crown, "Since we have nothing to expect,"
cried he, "from the favour of Christians, let us have recourse to the
descendants of Judah.  Though they lie under the general reproach of
nations, as a people dead to virtue and benevolence, and wholly devoted
to avarice, fraud, and extortion, the most savage of their tribe cannot
treat me with more barbarity of indifference, than I have experienced
among those who are the authors of their reproach."

Although Fathom looked upon this proposal as an extravagant symptom of
despair, he affected to approve of the scheme, and encouraged Renaldo
with the hope of succeeding in another quarter, even if this expedition
should fail; for, by this time, our adventurer was half resolved to
export him at his own charge, rather than he should be much longer
restricted in his designs upon Monimia.

Meanwhile, being resolved to try the experiment upon the children of
Israel, they betook themselves to the house of a rich Jew, whose wealth
they considered as a proof of his rapaciousness; and, being admitted into
his counting-house, they found him in the midst of half a dozen clerks,
when Renaldo, in his imagination, likened him unto a minister of darkness
surrounded by his familiars, and planning schemes of misery to be
executed upon the hapless sons of men.  In spite of these suggestions,
which were not at all mitigated by the forbidding aspect of the Hebrew,
he demanded a private audience; and, being ushered into another
apartment, he explained his business with manifest marks of disorder and
affliction.  Indeed, his confusion was in some measure owing to the looks
of the Jew, who, in the midst of this exordium, pulled down his eyebrows,
which were surprisingly black and bushy, so as, in appearance, totally to
extinguish his visage, though he was all the time observing our youth
from behind those almost impenetrable thickets.

Melvil, having signified his request, "Young gentleman," said the
Israelite, with a most discordant voice, "what in the name of goodness
could induce you to come to me upon such an errand?  Did you ever hear
that I lent money to strangers without security?"  "No," replied Renaldo,
"nor did I believe I should profit by my application; but my affairs are
desperate; and my proposals having been rejected by every Christian to
whom they were offered, I was resolved to try my fate among the Jews, who
are reckoned another species of men."

Fathom, alarmed at this abrupt reply, which he supposed could not fail to
disgust the merchant, interposed in the conversation, by making an
apology for the plain dealing of his friend, who, he said, was soured and
ruffled by his misfortunes; then exerting that power of eloquence which
he had at command, he expostulated upon Renaldo's claim and expectations,
described the wrongs he had suffered, extolled his virtue, and drew a
most pathetic picture of his distress.

The Jew listened attentively for some time; then his eyebrows began to
rise and fall alternately; he coughed, sneezed, and winking hard, "I'm
plagued," said he, "with a salt rheum that trickles from my eyes without
intermission."  So saying, he wiped the moisture from his face, and
proceeded in these words: "Sir, your story is plausible; and your friend
is a good advocate; but before I give an answer to your demand, I must
beg leave to ask if you can produce undeniable evidence of your being the
identical person you really assume?  If you are really the Count de
Melvil, you will excuse my caution.  We cannot be too much on our guard
against fraud; though I must own you have not the air of an impostor."

Renaldo's eyes began to sparkle at this preliminary question; to which he
replied, that he could procure the testimony of the Emperor's minister,
to whom he had occasionally paid his respects since his first arrival in
England.

"If that be the case," said the Jew, "take the trouble to call here
to-morrow morning, at eight o'clock, and I will carry you in my own
coach to the house of his excellency, with whom I have the honour to be
acquainted; and, if he has nothing to object against your character or
pretensions, I will contribute my assistance towards your obtaining
justice at the Imperial court."

The Hungarian was so much confounded at this unexpected reception, that
he had not power to thank the merchant for his promised favour, but stood
motionless and silent, while the streams of emotion of the heart was of
more weight with the Jew, than the eloquent acknowledgment which
Ferdinand took the opportunity of making for his friend; and he was fain
to dismiss them a little abruptly, in order to prevent a second discharge
of that same rheum of which he had already complained.

Melvil recollected all that had happened as a dream, which had no
foundation in truth, and was all day long in a sort of delirium, produced
by the alternate gusts of hope and fear that still agitated his bosom;
for he was not yet without apprehension of being again disappointed by
some unlucky occurrence.

He did not, however, fail to be punctual to the hour of his appointment,
when the Jew told him, there would be no occasion for visiting the
ambassador, because Renaldo had been, the preceding day, recognised by
one of the clerks who had been employed as a purveyor in the Imperial
army; and who, knowing his family, confirmed everything he had alleged.
"After breakfast," continued this benevolent Israelite, "I will give you
an order upon my banker for five hundred pounds, that you may be enabled
to appear at Vienna as the son and representative of Count Melvil; and
you shall also be furnished with a letter of recommendation to a person
of some influence at that court, whose friendship and countenance may be
of some service to your suit; for I am now heartily engaged in your
interest, in consequence of the fair and unblemished character which I
find you have hitherto maintained."

The reader must appeal to his own heart, to acquire a just idea of
Renaldo's feelings, when every tittle of these promises was fulfilled,
and the merchant refused to take one farthing by way of premium,
contenting himself with the slender security of a personal bond.  He was,
in truth, overwhelmed with the obligation, and certainly disposed to
believe that his benefactor was something more than human.  As for
Fathom, his sentiments took a different turn; and he scrupled not to
impute all this kindness to some deep-laid interested scheme, the scope
of which he could not at present comprehend.

After the tumults of the young gentleman's joy had subsided, and he found
himself eased of that burdensome poverty under which he had groaned so
long, his thoughts, which before were dissipated upon the various
circumstances of distress, began to collect themselves in a body, and to
resume their deliberations upon a subject which they had been long
accustomed to consider; this was no other than the forlorn Monimia, whose
idea now emerged in his bosom, being disencumbered of one part of the
load by which it had been depressed.  He mentioned her name to Fathom
with marks of the most melting compassion, deplored her apostasy, and,
while he protested that he had divorced her for ever from his heart,
expressed an inclination to see her once more before his departure, that
he might in person exhort her to penitence and reformation.

Our adventurer, who dreaded such an interview as the infallible means of
his own ruin, resisted the proposal with the whole power of his
elocution.  He affirmed, that Renaldo's desire was a manifest proof that
he still retained part of the fatal poison which that enchantress had
spread within his veins; and that the sight of her, softened by his
reproaches into tears and affected contrition, would dispel his
resentment, disable his manhood, and blow the embers of his former
passion to such a rage, as would hurry him on to a reconciliation, which
would debase his honour, and ruin his future peace.  In a word, Ferdinand
described the danger that would attend the meeting in such emphatic
terms, that the Hungarian started with horror at the picture which he
drew, and in this particular conformed with the admonition of his friend.

One hundred pounds of the Jew's money was immediately appropriated for
the payment of his most urgent debts; the like sum he presented to his
friend Fathom, with a solemn promise of sharing with him whatever good
fortune might await him in Germany.  And though Monimia had forfeited all
title to his regard, so ill could he bear the prospect of her distress,
that he entrusted his dear companion with the half of what remained, to
be expended for her use, fully resolving to screen her from the shocks
and temptations of want, as the circumstances of his future fate would
allow.

Fathom, far from opposing, applauded his generosity with marks of extreme
wonder and admiration, assuring him, that she should be put in possession
of his bounty immediately after his departure, he being unwilling to make
her acquainted with her good fortune before that period, lest, finding
his affairs in a fair way of being retrieved, she should be base enough
to worship his returning prosperity, and, by false professions, and
artful blandishments, seek to ensnare his heart anew.




CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

COUNT FATHOM UNMASKS HIS BATTERY; IS REPULSED; AND VARIES HIS OPERATIONS
WITHOUT EFFECT.


Every necessary preparation being made, Renaldo, accompanied by our
adventurer, took the road to Dover, where he embarked in a packet-boat
for Calais, after having settled a correspondence with his dear
Ferdinand, from whom he did not part without tears.  He had before
solicited him to be his fellow-traveller, that he might personally enjoy
the benefit of his conversation and superior sagacity; but these
entreaties he strenuously opposed, on pretence of his being determined to
push his fortune in England, which he considered as his native country,
and as the land in which, of all others, a man of merit has the best
encouragement.  Such were the reasons he alleged for refusing to attend
his benefactor, who was himself eagerly desirous of attaining a
settlement in the island of Great Britain.  But our hero's real motives
for staying were of a very different complexion.--The reader is already
informed of his aim upon the fair orphan, which, at present, was the
chief spring of his conduct.  He may also recollect such passages of his
life, as were sufficient to deter him from reappearing at Presburg or
Vienna.  But, besides these reflections, he was detained by a full
persuasion that Renaldo would sink under the power and influence of his
antagonist, consequently be rendered incapable to provide for his
friends; and that he himself, fraught with wiles and experience as he
was, could not fail to make himself amends for what he had suffered among
a people equally rich and unthinking.

Melvil, having embraced our adventurer, and with a deep sigh bid him take
care of the unfortunate Monimia, committed himself to the sea, and, by
the assistance of a favourable gale, was in four hours safely landed on
the French shore; while Fathom took post-horses for London, where he
arrived that same night, and next day, in the forenoon, went to visit the
beauteous mourner, who had as yet received no intimation of Renaldo's
departure or design.  He found her in the attitude of writing a letter to
her inconstant lover, the contents of which the reader will be acquainted
with in due time.  Her countenance, notwithstanding the veil of
melancholy by which it was overcast, seemed altogether serene and
composed; she was the picture of pious resignation, and sat like PATIENCE
on a monument, smiling at grief.  After having paid the compliment of the
morning, Fathom begged pardon for having omitted to visit her during
three days, in which, he said, his time had been wholly engrossed in
procuring a proper equipage for Count Melvil, who had at last bid an
eternal adieu to the island of Great Britain.

At this information the hapless Monimia fell back in her chair, and
continued some minutes in a swoon; from which being recovered, "Excuse
me, Mr. Fathom," cried she with a deep sigh; "this, I hope, is the last
agony I shall feel from my unhappy passion."--Then wiping the tears from
her lovely eyes, she retrieved her tranquillity, and desired to know by
what means Renaldo had been enabled to undertake his journey into the
empire.  Our hero, upon this occasion, assumed the whole merit of having
promoted the interest of his friend, by giving her to understand, that
he, in consequence of an unforeseen windfall, had defrayed the expense of
the Count's equipment; though he observed, that it was not without
reluctance he saw Renaldo make a wrong use of his friendship.

"Although I was happy," proceeded this artful traitor, "in being able to
discharge my obligations to the house of Melvil, I could not help feeling
the most sensible chagrin, when I saw my assistance rendered subservient
to the triumphs of the youth's baseness and infidelity; for he chose, as
the companion of his travels, the abandoned woman for whom he had
forsaken the all-perfect Monimia, whose virtue and accomplishments did
not preserve her sacred from his ungrateful sarcasms and unmannerly
ridicule.  Believe me, madam, I was so shocked at his conversation on
that subject, and so much incensed at his want of delicacy, that my
temper was scarce sufficient for the ceremony of parting.  And, now that
my debt to his family is over-paid, I have solemnly renounced his
correspondence."

When she heard that, instead of betraying the least symptom of regret or
compassion for her unhappy fate, the perfidious youth had exulted over
her fall, and even made her a subject for his mirth, the blood revisited
her faded cheeks, and resentment restored to her eyes that poignancy
which sorrow had before overcome.  Yet she scorned to give speech to her
indignation; but, forcing a smile, "Why should I repine," said she, "at
the mortifications of a life which I despise, and from which, I hope,
Heaven speedily will set me free!"

Fathom, fired by her emotion, which had recalled all the graces of her
beauty, exclaimed in a rapture, "Talk not so contemptuously of this life,
which hath still a fund of happiness in store for the amiable, the divine
Monimia.  Though one admirer hath proved an apostate to his vows, your
candour will not suffer you to condemn the whole sex.  Some there are,
whose bosoms glow with passion equally pure, unalterable, and intense.
For my own part, I have sacrificed to a rigid punctilio of honour the
dearest ideas of my heart.  I beheld your unrivalled charms, and deeply
felt their power.  Yet, while a possibility of Melvil's reformation
remained, and while I was restrained by my niggard fortune from making a
tender worthy of your acceptance, I combated with my inclinations, and
bore without repining the pangs of hopeless love.  But, now that my
honour is disengaged, and my fortune rendered independent, by the last
will of a worthy nobleman, whose friendship I was favoured with in
France, I presume to lay myself at the feet of the adorable Monimia, as
the most faithful of admirers, whose happiness or misery wholly depends
upon her nod.  Believe me, madam, these are not the professions of idle
gallantry--I speak the genuine, though imperfect, language of my heart.
Words, even the most pathetic, cannot do justice to my love.  I gaze upon
your beauty with ravishment; but I contemplate the graces of your soul
with such awful veneration, that I tremble while I approach you, as if my
vows were addressed to some superior being."

During this declaration, which was pronounced in the most emphatic
manner, Monimia was successively agitated with shame, anger, and grief;
nevertheless, she summoned her whole philosophy to her aid, and, with a
tranquil, though determined air, begged he would not diminish the
obligations he had already conferred, by disturbing with such
unseasonable addresses a poor unhappy maid, who had detached all her
thoughts from earthly objects, and waited impatiently for that
dissolution which alone could put a period to her misfortunes.

Fathom, imagining that these were no other than the suggestions of a
temporary disappointment and despondence, which it was his business to
oppose with all his eloquence and art, renewed his theme with redoubled
ardour, and, at last, became so importunate in his desires, that Monimia,
provoked beyond the power of concealing her resentment, said, she was
heartily sorry to find herself under the necessity of telling him, that,
in the midst of her misfortunes, she could not help remembering what she
had been.  Then, rising from her seat, with all the dignity of
displeasure, "Perhaps," added she, "you have forgot who was the father of
the once happy Monimia."

With these words she retired into another chamber, leaving our adventurer
confounded by the repulse he had sustained.  Not that he was discouraged
from prosecuting his aim--on the contrary, this rebuff seemed to add
fresh vigour to his operations.  He now thought it high time to bring
over Madam la Mer to his interest; and, to facilitate her conversion,
took an opportunity of bribing her with some inconsiderable presents,
after having amused her with a plausible tale of his passion for Monimia,
with whom she undertook the office of his mediatrix, on the supposition
that his intentions were honourable, and highly advantageous to her
lodger.

She was, first of all, invested with the office of obtaining pardon for
the offence he had given; and, in this negotiation she succeeded so well,
as to become an advocate for his suit; accordingly, she took all
occasions of magnifying his praise.  His agreeable person was often the
subject of her discourse to the fair mourner.  Her admiration dwelt upon
his politeness, good sense, and winning deportment; and she every day
retailed little stories of his benevolence and greatness of soul.  The
defect in his birth she represented as a circumstance altogether foreign
from the consideration of his merit; especially in a nation where such
distinctions are as little respected as they will be in a future state.
She mentioned several persons of note, who basked in the sunshine of
power and fortune, without having enjoyed the least hereditary assistance
from their forefathers.  One, she said, sprung from the loins of an
obscure attorney; another was the grandson of a valet-de-chambre; a third
was the issue of an accountant; and a fourth the offspring of a
woollen draper.  All these were the children of their own good works, and
had raised themselves upon their personal virtues and address; a
foundation certainly more solid and honourable than a vague inheritance
derived from ancestors, in whose deserts they could not be supposed to
have borne the least share.

Monimia listened to all these arguments with great patience and
affability, though she at once dived into the source from which all such
insinuations flowed.  She joined in the commendations of Fathom, and
owned herself a particular instance of that benevolence which the old
lady had so justly extolled; but, once for all, to prevent the
supplication which Madam la Mer was about to make, she solemnly protested
that her heart was altogether shut against any other earthly engagement,
and that her thoughts were altogether employed upon her eternal
salvation.

The assiduous landlady, perceiving the steadiness of her disposition,
thought proper to alter her method of proceeding, and, for the present,
suspended that theme by which she found her fair lodger disobliged.
Resolved to reconcile Monimia to life, before she would again recommend
Ferdinand to her love, she endeavoured to amuse her imagination, by
recounting the occasional incidents of the day, hoping gradually to decoy
her attention to those sublunary objects from which it had been
industriously weaned.  She seasoned her conversation with agreeable
sallies; enlarged upon the different scenes of pleasure and diversion
appertaining to this great metropolis; practised upon her palate with the
delicacies of eating; endeavoured to shake her temperance with repeated
proffers and recommendations of certain cordials and restoratives, which
she alleged were necessary for the recovery of her health; and pressed
her to make little excursions into the fields that skirt the town, for
the benefit of air and exercise.

While this auxiliary plied the disconsolate Monimia on one hand, Fathom
was not remiss on the other.  He now seemed to have sacrificed his
passion to her quiet; his discourse turned upon more indifferent
subjects.  He endeavoured to dispel her melancholy with arguments drawn
from philosophy and religion.  On some occasions, he displayed all his
fund of good humour, with a view to beguile her sorrow; he importuned her
to give him the pleasure of squiring her to some place of innocent
entertainment; and, finally, insisted upon her accepting a pecuniary
reinforcement to her finances, which he knew to be in a most consumptive
condition.




CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

MONIMIA'S HONOUR IS PROTECTED BY THE INTERPOSITION OF HEAVEN.


With that complacency and fortitude which were peculiar to herself, this
hapless stranger resisted all those artful temptations.  Her sustenance
was barely such as exempted her from the guilt of being accessory to her
own death; her drink was the simple element.  She encouraged no discourse
but that which turned upon the concerns of her immortal part.  She never
went abroad, except in visits to a French chapel in the neighbourhood;
she refused the proffered assistance of our adventurer with equal
obstinacy and politeness, and with pleasure saw herself wasting towards
that period of mortality which was the consummation of her wish.  Yet her
charms, far from melting away with her constitution, seemed to triumph
over the decays of nature.  Her shape and features still retained that
harmony for which they had always been distinguished.  A mixture of
majesty and sweetness diffused itself in her looks, and her feebleness
added to that soft and feminine grace which attracts the sympathy, and
engages the protection of every humane beholder.  The associates thus
baffled in their attempts to excite her ideas of pleasure, again shifted
their plan, and resolved to attack this forlorn beauty on the side of
fear and mortification.

Our adventurer became less frequent in his visits, and more indifferent
in his language and deportment; while Madam la Mer gradually relaxed in
that complacency and respect with which she had hitherto behaved towards
her fair lodger.  She even began to drop hints of disapprobation and
reproach against this pattern of innocence and beauty, and at length grew
bold enough to tell her, that her misfortunes could be attributed to
nothing but her own obstinacy and pride; that she had been at great pains
to disoblige the only person who was able and willing to raise her above
dependence; and that, if his protection should be withdrawn, she must be
exposed to the utmost extremity of distress.

These insinuations, instead of producing the desired effect, inflamed the
indignation of Monimia, who, in a most dignified style of rebuke, chid
her for her indelicacy and presumption, observing, that she could have no
title to take such freedoms with lodgers, whose punctuality and regular
deportment left her no room to complain.  Notwithstanding this animated
reply, she underwent the most deplorable anguish, when she reflected upon
the insolence of this woman, from whose barbarity she had no resource;
and, seeing no other possibility of redress than that of appealing to the
good offices of Fathom, she conquered her reluctance so far, as to
complain to him of Madam la Mer's incivility.

Pleased with this application, he gave her to understand, with very
little ceremony or preamble, that it wholly depended upon herself whether
she should continue to be wretched, or be delivered at once from all her
cares and perplexity; that, notwithstanding the disdain with which she
had treated his addresses, he was still ready to lay himself and his
fortune at her feet; and that, if she should again reject the
disinterested proposal, the whole world and her own conscience would
charge upon herself whatever calamities she might be subjected to in the
sequel.  Interpreting into a favourable hesitation her silence, which was
the result of wrath and amazement, he proceeded to throw himself at her
feet, and utter a romantic rhapsody, in the course of which, laying aside
all that restraint which he had hitherto preserved, he seized her
delicate hand, and pressed it to his lips; nay, so far did he forget
himself on this occasion, that he caught the fair creature in his arms,
and rudely ravished a kiss from those lips which he had before
contemplated with the most distant reverence of desire.

Having thus broken down the fences of decorum, and being heated with
transport, he, in all probability, would have acted the part of young
Tarquin, and violated by force that sacred shrine of honour, beauty, and
unblemished truth, had not the wrath kindled by such an unexpected
outrage inspired her with strength and spirits sufficient to protect her
virtue, and intimidate the ruffian who could offer violence to such
perfection.  She broke from his detested embrace with surprising agility,
and called aloud to her landlady for assistance; but that discreet matron
was resolved to hear nothing, and Fathom's appetite being whetted to a
most brutal degree of eagerness, "Madam," said he, "all opposition is
vain.  What you have refused to my entreaties, you shall yield to my
power; and I am determined to force you to your own advantage."

So saying, he sprung towards her, with the most savage and impious
intent, when this amiable heroine snatching up his sword, which lay upon
a by-table, and unsheathing it instantaneously, presented the point to
his breast, and, while her eyes glanced with intolerable keenness,
"Villain!" cried she, "the spirit of my father animates my bosom, and the
vengeance of Heaven shall not be frustrated."  He was not so much
affected by his bodily danger, as awestruck at the manner of her address,
and the appearance of her aspect, which seemed to shine with something
supernatural, and actually disordered his whole faculties, insomuch that
he retreated without attempting to make the least reply; and she, having
secured the door after his departure, sat down to ponder upon this
shocking event.

Words are wanting to describe the accumulated horrors that took
possession of her mind, when she thus beheld all her presaging fears
realised, and found herself at the mercy of two wretches, who had now
pulled off the mask, after having lost all sentiments of humanity.
Common affliction was an agreeable reverie to what she suffered, deprived
of her parents, exiled from her friends and country, reduced to the brink
of wanting the most indispensable necessaries of life, in a foreign land,
where she knew not one person to whose protection she could have
recourse, from the inexpressible woes that environed her.  She complained
to Heaven that her life was protracted, for the augmentation of that
misery which was already too severe to be endured; for she shuddered at
the prospect of being utterly abandoned in the last stage of mortality,
without one friend to close her eyes, or do the last offices of humanity
to her breathless corse.  These were dreadful reflections to a young lady
who had been born to affluence and splendour, trained up in all the
elegance of education, by nature fraught with that sensibility which
refines the sentiment and taste, and so tenderly cherished by her
indulgent parents, that they suffered not the winds of Heaven to visit
her face too roughly.

Having passed the night in such agony, she rose at daybreak, and, hearing
the chapel bell toll for morning prayers, resolved to go to this place of
worship, in order to implore the assistance of Heaven.  She no sooner
opened her chamber door, with this intent, than she was met by Madam la
Mer, who, after having professed her concern for what had happened
overnight, and imputed Mr. Fathom's rudeness to the spirit of
intoxication, by which she had never before seen him possessed, she
endeavoured to dissuade Monimia from her purpose, by observing, that her
health would be prejudiced by the cold morning air; but finding her
determined, she insisted upon accompanying her to chapel, on pretence of
respect, though, in reality, with a view to prevent the escape of her
beauteous lodger.  Thus attended, the hapless mourner entered the place,
and, according to the laudable hospitality of England, which is the only
country in Christendom where a stranger is not made welcome to the house
of God, this amiable creature, emaciated and enfeebled as she was, must
have stood in a common passage during the whole service, had not she been
perceived by a humane gentlewoman, who, struck with her beauty and
dignified air, and melted with sympathy at the ineffable sorrow which was
visible in her countenance, opened the pew in which she sat, and
accommodated Monimia and her attendant.  If she was captivated by her
first appearance, she was not less affected by the deportment of her fair
guest, which was the pattern of genuine devotion.

In a word, this good lady, who was a merchant's widow in opulent
circumstances, was inflamed with a longing desire to know and befriend
the amiable stranger, who, after service, turning about to thank her for
her civility, Madam Clement, with that frankness which is the result of
true benevolence, told her, she was too much prepossessed in her favour
to let slip this opportunity of craving her acquaintance, and of
expressing her inclination to alleviate, if possible, that affliction
which was manifest in her looks.

Monimia, overwhelmed with gratitude and surprise at this unexpected
address, gazed upon the lady in silence, and when she repeated her
tenders of service, could make no other reply to her goodness, than by
bursting into a flood of tears.  This was a species of eloquence which
did not pass unregarded by Madam Clement, who, while her own eyes were
bedewed with the drops of sympathy and compassion, took the lovely orphan
by the hand, and led her, without further ceremony, to her own coach,
that stood waiting at the door, whither they were followed by Mrs. la
Mer, who was so much confounded at the adventure, that she made no
objections to the proposal of the lady, who handed her lodger into the
carriage; but retired, with all possible despatch, to make Fathom
acquainted with this unforeseen event.

Meanwhile the agitation of Monimia, at this providential deliverance, was
such as had well-nigh destroyed her tender frame.  The blood flushed and
forsook her cheeks by turns; she trembled from head to foot,
notwithstanding the consolatory assurances of Madam Clement, and, without
being able to utter one word, was conducted to the house of that kind
benefactress, where the violence of her transports overpowered her
constitution, and she sunk down upon a couch in a swoon, from which she
was not easily recovered.  This affecting circumstance augmented the
pity, and interested the curiosity of Madam Clement, who concluded there
was something very extraordinary in the case of the stranger, to produce
these agonies; and grew impatient to hear the particulars of her story.

Monimia no sooner retrieved the use of her faculties, than looking
around, and observing with what humane concern her new hostess was
employed in effecting her recovery, "Is this," said she, "a flattering
illusion of the brain? or am I really under the protection of some
beneficent being, whom Heaven hath inspired with generosity to rescue an
hapless stranger from the most forlorn state of misery and woe?"  Her
voice was at all times ravishingly sweet; and this exclamation was
pronounced with such pathetic fervour, that Madam Clement clasped her in
her arms, and kissing her with all the eagerness of maternal affection,
"Yes," cried she, "fair creature, Heaven hath bestowed upon me an heart
to compassionate, and power, I hope, to lighten the burden of your
sorrows."

She then prevailed upon her to take some nourishment, and afterwards to
recount the particulars of her fate; a task she performed with such
accuracy and candour, that Madam Clement, far from suspecting her
sincerity, saw truth and conviction in every circumstance of her tale;
and, having condoled her misfortunes, entreated her to forget them, or at
least look upon herself as one sheltered under the care and tuition of a
person whose study it would be to supply her want of natural parents.
This would have been an happy vicissitude of fortune, had it not arrived
too late; but such a sudden and unlooked-for transition not only
disordered the faculties of poor Monimia's mind, but also overpowered the
organs of her body, already fatigued and enfeebled by the distresses she
had undergone; so that she was taken ill of a fever that same night, and
became delirious before morning, when a physician was called to her
assistance.

While this gentleman was in the house, Madam Clement was visited by
Fathom, who, after having complained, in the most insinuating manner that
she had encouraged his wife to abandon her duty, told her a plausible
story of his first acquaintance with Monimia, and his marriage at the
Fleet, which, he said, he was ready to prove by the evidence of the
clergyman who joined them, and that of Mrs. la Mer, who was present at
the ceremony.  The good lady, although a little staggered at the genteel
appearance and engaging address of this stranger, could not prevail upon
herself to believe that she had been imposed upon by her fair lodger, who
by this time had given too convincing a proof of her sincerity;
nevertheless, in order to prevent any dispute that might be prejudicial
to the health or recovery of Monimia, she gave him to understand, that
she would not at present enter upon the merits of the cause, but only
assure him, that the young lady was actually bereft of her senses, and in
imminent danger of her life; for the truth of which assertions she would
appeal to his own observation, and the opinion of the physician, who was
then employed in writing a prescription for the cure of her disease.

So saying, she conducted him into the chamber, where he beheld the
hapless virgin stretched upon a sick-bed, panting under the violence of a
distemper too mighty for her weakly frame, her hair dishevelled, and
discomposure in her looks; all the roses of her youth were faded, yet all
the graces of her beauty were not fled.  She retained that sweetness and
symmetry, which death itself could not destroy; and though her discourse
was incoherent, her voice was still musical, resembling those feathered
songsters who warble their native wood-notes wild.

Fathom, as upon all other occasions, so on this, did behave like an
inimitable actor; he ran to the bedside, with all the trepidation of a
distracted lover; he fell upon his knees, and, while the tears rolled
down his cheeks, imprinted a thousand kisses on the soft hand of Monimia,
who regarding him with a lack-lustre and undistinguishing eye, "Alas!
Renaldo," said she, "we were born to be unhappy."  "Would to Heaven,"
cried Ferdinand, in a transport of grief, "the wretch Renaldo had never
been born! that is the villain who seduced the affection of this
unfortunate woman.  I admitted the traitor into my friendship and
confidence, relieved him in his necessities; and, like the ungrateful
viper, he hath stung the very bosom that cherished him in his distress."
Then he proceeded to inform Madam Clement how he had delivered that same
Renaldo from prison, maintained him afterwards at a great expense, and at
length furnished him with a sum of money and proper credentials to
support his interest at the Court of Vienna.

Having finished this detail, he asked the physician's sentiments of his
wife's distemper, and being told that her life was in extreme jeopardy,
begged he would use his utmost endeavours in her behalf, and even made
him a tender of an extraordinary fee, which was refused.  He also thanked
Madam Clement for her charity and benevolence towards a stranger, and
took his leave with many polite professions of gratitude and esteem.  He
had no sooner quitted the house, than the physician, who was a humane
man, and a foreigner, began to caution the lady against his insinuations,
observing, that some circumstances of the story concerning Renaldo were,
to his particular knowledge, contrary to truth; for that he himself had
been applied to for letters of recommendation in behalf of Count Melvil,
by a Jew merchant of his acquaintance, who had supplied the young
gentleman with money sufficient for his occasions, in consequence of a
minute inquiry he had made into the character of Renaldo, who was, by all
reports, a youth of strict honour and untainted morals.

Madam Clement, thus cautioned, entered into deliberation with her own
thoughts, and, comparing the particulars of this account with those of
Monimia's own story, she concluded that Fathom was the very traitor he
himself had described; and that he had, by abusing the confidence of
both, effected a fatal breach between two innocent and deserving lovers.
She accordingly looked upon him with horror and detestation; but
nevertheless resolved to treat him with civility in the meantime, that
the poor young lady might not be disturbed in her last moments; for she
had now lost all hopes of her recovery.  Yet the fever abated, and in two
days she retrieved the use of her reason; though the distemper had
affected her lungs, and she was in all appearance doomed to linger a few
weeks longer in a consumption.

Fathom was punctual in his visitation, though never admitted into her
presence after the delirium vanished; and he had the opportunity of
seeing her conveyed in a chariot to Kensington Gravel Pits, a place which
may be termed the last stage of many a mortal peregrination.  He now
implicitly believed that death would in a few days baffle all his designs
upon the unfortunate Monimia; and foreseeing that, as he had owned
himself her husband, he might be obliged to defray the expenses incurred
by her sickness and burial, he very prudently intermitted in his visits,
and had recourse to the intelligence of his auxiliary.

As for Monimia, she approached the goal of life, not simply with
resignation, but with rapture.  She enjoyed in tranquillity the
conversation of her kind benefactress, who never stirred from her
apartment; she was blessed with the spiritual consolation of a worthy
clergyman, who removed all her religious scruples; and she congratulated
herself on the near prospect of that land of peace where sorrow is not
known.

At length Mrs. la Mer gave notice to our adventurer of this amiable young
lady's decease, and the time fixed for the interment.  Upon which these
two virtuous associates took possession of a place from whence they
could, unperceived, behold the funeral.  He must have a hard heart, who,
without an emotion of pity, can see the last offices performed to a young
creature cut off in the flower of youth and beauty, even though he knows
not her name, and is an utter stranger to her virtues.  How callous then
must the soul of that wretch have been, who, without a symptom of remorse
or concern, saw the sable hearse adorned with white plumes, as emblems of
Monimia's purity, pass before him, while her incomparable merit stood
full in his remembrance, and he knew himself the wicked cause of her
untimely fate!

Perfidious wretch! thy crimes turn out so atrocious, that I half repent
me of having undertaken to record thy memoirs; yet such monsters ought to
be exhibited to public view, that mankind may be upon their guard against
imposture; that the world may see how fraud is apt to overshoot itself;
and that, as virtue, though it may suffer for a while, will triumph in
the end; so iniquity, though it may prosper for a season, will at last be
overtaken by that punishment and disgrace which are its due.




CHAPTER FIFTY

FATHOM SHIFTS THE SCENE, AND APPEARS IN A NEW CHARACTER.


Fathom's expectations with respect to the fair orphan having thus proved
abortive, he lost no time in bewailing his miscarriage, but had immediate
recourse to other means of improving his small fortune, which, at this
period, amounted to near two hundred pounds.  Whatever inclination he had
to resume the character he had formerly borne in the polite world, he
durst not venture to launch out again into the expense necessary to
maintain that station, because his former resources were now stopped, and
all the people of fashion by this time convinced of his being a needy
adventurer.  Nevertheless, he resolved to sound the sentiments of his old
friends at a distance, and judge, from the reception he should meet with,
how far he might presume upon their countenance and favour.  For he
rightly supposed, that if he could in any shape contribute to their
interest or amusement, they would easily forgive his former pretensions
to quality, arrogant as they were, and still entertain him on the footing
of a necessary acquaintance.

With this view, he one day presented himself at court in a very gay suit
of clothes, and bowed, at a distance, to many of his old fashionable
friends of both sexes, not one of whom favoured him with any other
notice, than that of a quarter curtsey, or slight inclination of the
head.  For, by this time, the few that remembered him knew from what
retirement he now emerged, and avoided him accordingly as the jail
infection.  But the greater part of those who had cultivated him in the
zenith of his fortune were now utter strangers to his person, which they
had actually forgot, amidst the succession of novelties that surrounded
them; or, if they did recollect his name, it was remembered as an old
fashion which had been many months out of date.

Notwithstanding these mortifying discouragements, our hero, that same
evening, effected a lodgment in a certain gaming-house not far from St.
James's; and, as he played pretty high, and made a parade of his ready
money, he was soon recognised by divers persons of consequence, who
cordially welcomed him to England, on pretence of believing he had been
abroad, and with great complacency repeated their former professions of
friendship.  Though this was a certain way of retaining the favour of
those worthies, while his finances continued to flourish, and his
payments were prompt, he knew the weakness of his funds too well, to
think they could bear the vicissitudes of play; and the remembrance of
the two British knights who had spoiled him at Paris, hung over his
imagination with the most frightful presages.  Besides, he perceived that
gaming was now managed in such a manner, as rendered skill and dexterity
of no advantage.  For the spirit of play having overspread the land, like
a pestilence, raged to such a degree of madness and desperation, that the
unhappy people who were infected, laid aside all thoughts of amusement,
economy, or caution, and risked their fortunes upon issues equally
extravagant, childish, and absurd.

The whole mystery of the art was reduced to the simple exercise of
tossing up a guinea, and the lust of laying wagers, which they indulged
to a surprising pitch of ridiculous intemperance.  In one corner of the
room might be heard a pair of lordlings running their grandmothers
against each other, that is, betting sums on the longest liver; in
another the success of the wager depended upon the sex of the landlady's
next child; and one of the waiters happening to drop down in an
apoplectic fit, a certain noble peer exclaimed, "Dead for a thousand
pounds."  The challenge was immediately accepted; and when the master of
the house sent for a surgeon to attempt the cure, the nobleman, who set
the price upon the patient's head, insisted upon his being left to the
efforts of nature alone, otherwise the wager should be void.  Nay, when
the landlord harped upon the loss he should sustain by the death of a
trusty servant, his lordship obviated the objection, by desiring that the
fellow might be charged in the bill.

In short, the rage of gaming seemed to have devoured all their other
faculties, and to have equalled the rash enthusiasm of the inhabitants of
Malacca in the East Indies, who are so possessed with that pernicious
spirit, that they sacrifice to it not only their fortunes, but also their
wives and children; and then letting their hair down upon their
shoulders, in imitation of the ancient Lacedaemonians when they devoted
themselves to death, those wretches unsheathe their daggers, and murder
every living creature in their way.  In this, however, they differ from
the gamesters of our country, who never find their senses, until they
have lost their fortunes, and beggared their families; whereas the Malays
never run amuck, but in consequence of misery and despair.

Such are the amusements, or rather such is the continual employment of
those hopeful youths who are destined by birth to be the judges of our
property, and pillars of our constitution.  Such are the heirs and
representatives of those patriots who planned, and those heroes who
maintained, the laws and freedom of their country; who were the patrons
of merit, the fathers of the poor, the terror of vice and immorality, and
at once the ornaments and support of a happy nation.

Our adventurer considered all these circumstances with his wonted
sagacity, and, seeing upon what precarious footing he must stand, should
he rank himself with such society, he wisely came to the resolution of
descending one step in the degrees of life, and of taking upon him the
title of physician, under which he did not despair of insinuating himself
into the pockets of his patients, and into the secrets of private
families, so as to acquire a comfortable share of practice, or captivate
the heart of some heiress or rich widow, whose fortune would at once
render him independent and happy.

After this determination, his next care was to concert measures for his
first appearance in this new character; well knowing, that the success of
a physician, in a great measure, depends upon the external equipage in
which he first declares himself an adept in the healing art.  He first of
all procured a few books on the subject of medicine, which he studied
with great attention during the remaining part of the winter and spring,
and repaired to Tunbridge with the first of the season, where he appeared
in the uniform of Aesculapius, namely, a plain suit, full trimmed, with a
voluminous tie-periwig; believing that in this place he might glide, as
it were, imperceptibly into the functions of his new employment, and
gradually accustom himself to the method and form of prescription.

A man so well known in the gay world could not be supposed to effect such
a transformation without being observed; and therefore, in order to
anticipate the censure and ridicule of those who might be tempted to make
themselves merry at his expense, he, on his arrival at the wells,
repaired to the shop of an apothecary, and calling for pen, ink, and
paper, wrote a prescription, which he desired might be immediately made
up.  While this was doing by the servant, he was invited into a parlour
by the master, with whom he entered into conversation touching the
properties of the Tunbridge water, which seemed to have been his
particular study; and indeed he had perused Rouzee's treatise on that
subject with indefatigable assiduity.  From this theme, he made
digressions into other parts of medicine, upon which he spoke with such
plausible elocution, that the apothecary, whose knowledge in that art was
not very profound, looked upon him as a physician of great learning and
experience, and hinted a desire of knowing his name and situation.

Fathom accordingly gave him to understand, that he had studied physic,
and taken his degrees at Padua, rather for his amusement, than with any
view of exercising medicine, as he then could not possibly foresee the
misfortunes which had since happened to his family, and by which he was
now compelled to have recourse to a profession that was very much beneath
the expectations of his birth.  Yet he bore his disappointments with
resignation, and even good-humour, and blessed his stars for having
inclined him to the study of any branch of knowledge by which he might be
enabled to laugh at the vicissitudes of fortune.  He then observed, that
he had practised with some applause at the hot well near Bristol, before
he thought he should be ever reduced to the necessity of taking a fee,
and that, in all probability, his metamorphosis, when known, would
furnish matter of surprise and merriment to some of his old acquaintance.

The apothecary was equally struck with his polite address, and pleased
with his agreeable discourse.  He consoled him for the misfortunes of his
family, by assuring him, that in England nothing could be more
honourable, or indeed profitable, than the character of a physician,
provided he could once wriggle himself into practice; and insinuated,
that, although he was restricted by certain engagements with other
persons of the faculty, he should be glad of an opportunity to show his
regard for Doctor Fathom.  This was a very effectual method which our
hero took to intimate his new character to the public.  By the industry
and communicative disposition of the apothecary, it was circulated in
half a day through every family in the place; and, next morning, when
Ferdinand appeared, the company forthwith assembled in separate groups,
and from each knot he heard his name reverberated in a whisper.

Having thus announced himself to all whom it might concern, and allowed
the ladies two days to discuss the merit of his transfiguration, together
with the novelty of the case, he ventured to salute, at a distance, a
lady and her daughter, who had been his patients at the hot well; and,
although they honoured his bow with the return of a slight curtsey, they
gave him not the least encouragement to make a nearer approach.
Notwithstanding this rebuff, he concluded, that, should the health of
either come in question, they would renew their application to his skill,
and what was refused by their pride would be granted by their
apprehension.  Here, however, he happened to be mistaken in his
conjecture.

The young lady being seized with a violent headache and palpitation, her
mother desired the apothecary to recommend a physician; and the person
with whom he was contracted being at that time absent, he proposed Doctor
Fathom as a man of great ability and discretion.  But the good lady
rejected the proposal with disdain, because she had formerly known him in
the character of a Count--though that very character was the chief reason
that had then induced her to crave his advice.

Such is the caprice of the world in general, that whatever bears the face
of novelty captivates, or rather bewitches, the imagination, and
confounds the ideas of reason and common sense.  If, for example, a
scullion, from the clinking of pewter, shall conceive a taste for the
clinking of rhyme, and make shift to bring together twenty syllables, so
as that the tenth and last shall have the like ending, the composition is
immediately extolled as a miracle; and what appeals to the admiration is
not the wit, the elegance, or poetry of the work, but the uncultivated
talent and humble station of the author.  A reader does not exclaim,
"What a delicate sentiment! what a beautiful simile! what easy and
musical versification!"--but cries in rapture, "Heavens! what a prodigy a
poet from the scullery! a muse in livery! or, Apollo with a trowel!"--The
public is astonished into liberality--the scullion eats from those
trenchers he scoured before--the footman is admitted into the coach
behind which he was wont to stand--and the bricklayer, instead of
plastering walls, bedaubs his illustrious partner with the mortar of his
praise.  Thus, lifted into a higher sphere, their talents receive
cultivation; they become professed bards, and though their subsequent
works bear evident marks of improvement, they are neglected among the
rest of their brethren, because that novelty, which recommended them in
the beginning, no longer remains.

So it fared with our adventurer in his new occupation.  There was
something so extraordinary in a nobleman's understanding medicine, and so
uncommon in a physician's prescribing gratis, that the curiosity and
admiration of the company at Bristol were engaged, and they followed his
advice, as the direction of some supernatural intelligence.  But, now
that he professed himself one of the faculty, and might be supposed to
have refreshed his memory, and reinforced his knowledge for the occasion,
he was as much overlooked as any other physician unsupported by interest
or cabal; or, at least, the notice he attracted was not at all to the
advantage of his character, because it wholly regarded the decline of his
fortune, which is a never-failing fund of disgrace.

These mortifications did not overcome the patience and perseverance of
Fathom, who foresaw, that the soothing hand of time would cast a veil of
oblivion over those scenes which were remembered to his prejudice; and
that, in the meantime, though he was excluded from the private parties of
the fair sex, in which his main hope of success was placed, he should be
able to insinuate himself into some degree of favour and practice among
the male patients; and some lucky cure, properly displayed, might be the
means of propagating his fame, and banishing that reserve which at
present interfered with his purpose.  Accordingly, it was not long before
he found means to break that spell of universal prejudice that hedged him
in.  At the ordinary which he frequented, his polite carriage, facetious
remarks, and agreeable stories soon conciliated the regard of his
fellow-guests, among whom he sometimes rallied his own transformation
with singular good-humour and success.  He was even witty upon his want
of employment, and used to observe, that a physician without practice
had one comfort to which his brethren were strangers, namely, that the
seldomer he had occasion to prescribe, the less he had upon his
conscience on account of being accessory to the death of his
fellow-creatures.

Nothing so effectually blunts the shafts of ridicule, and defeats the
aims of slander, as this method of anticipation.  In spite of the arrows
that were levelled against his reputation from every tea-table at
Tunbridge, he made his party good among almost all the gay young
gentlemen that frequented the place.  Far from avoiding his company, they
began to court his conversation, and he was commonly seen in the walks
surrounded with a group of admirers.

Having thus paved the way for a total removal of the invidious
prepossession that obstructed his views, he, one night, while every
person was lulled in the arms of repose, and universal silence prevailed,
tuned his violin, and began to play some masterly airs, in a tone so
uncommonly expressive, and with such ravishing dexterity of execution,
that a certain lady, who lodged in the same house, being waked by the
music, and ignorant of the source from which it flowed, listened with
rapture, as to the harp of an angel, and, wrapping herself in a loose
gown, rose and opened her chamber door, in order to discover in what
apartment the musician resided.  She no sooner entered the passage, than
she found her fellow-lodgers already assembled on the same occasion; and
there they remained during the best part of the night, transported by the
harmony which our hero produced.

Doctor Fathom was immediately known to be the author of this
entertainment; and thus retrieved the benefit of that admiration which he
had forfeited by appearing in the shape of a physician.  For, as people
had formerly wondered to see a count skilled in medicine, they were now
amazed to find a physician such a master in music.

The good effects of this stratagem were almost instantaneous.  His
performance became the topic of discourse among all the fashionable
company.  His male friends complimented him from the information of the
other sex; and that lady whom he had regaled, instead of that shyness and
disdain with which she used to receive his salutation, at their very next
meeting in the thoroughfare, returned his bow with marks of profound
respect.  Nay, at midnight, she, with the rest, took post in the same
place where they had been stationed before; and, by frequent tittering,
and repeated whispers, gave intimation to Fathom, that they would be glad
of a second serenade.  But he was too well acquainted with the human
passions to indulge this their desire.  It was his interest to inflame
their impatience, rather than to gratify their expectation; and therefore
he tantalised them for some hours, by tuning his violin, and playing some
flourishes, which, however, produced nothing to fulfil their wishes.

At the ordinary, he was accosted by a gentleman, a lodger in the same
house, who assured him, that the ladies would take it as a great favour
if he would let them know when he intended to amuse himself again with
his instrument, that they might not, by falling asleep beforehand,
deprive themselves of the pleasure of hearing his music.  To this message
he replied, with an air of consequence and reserve, that, though music
was not the art he professed, he should be always complaisant enough to
entertain the ladies to the utmost of his power, when their commands were
signified to him in a manner suited to his character; but that he would
never put himself on the footing of an itinerate harper, whose music is
tolerated through the medium of a board partition.  The gentleman having
reported this answer to his constituents, they empowered him to invite
Doctor Fathom to breakfast, and he was next morning introduced with the
usual ceremony, and treated with uncommon regard by all the females of
the house, assembled for his reception.

Having thus broken the ice of their aversion in one part, so as that the
beams of his personal accomplishments had room to operate, he soon
effected a general thaw in his favour, and found himself growing once
more into request amongst the most amiable part of the creation.  His
company was coveted, and his taste consulted in their balls, concerts,
and private assemblies; and he recompensed the regard they paid to him
with an incessant exertion of his agreeable talents, politeness, and
good-humour.




CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

TRIUMPHS OVER A MEDICAL RIVAL.


Yet, in the midst of all this attention, his medical capacity seemed to
be quite forgot.  They respected his good breeding, were charmed with his
voice, and admired the fine touches of his hand upon the violin; but in
cultivating the fiddler, they utterly neglected the physician; and in
vain did he attempt to divide their regard, by taking all opportunities
to turn the conversation into a more interesting channel.  It was to
little purpose he endeavoured to arouse the wonder of his audience with
frequent descriptions of portentous maladies and amazing cures he had
seen and performed in the course of his study and practice abroad; and to
no effect did he publicly busy himself in making experiments on the
mineral water, in which he pretended to have made several new and
important discoveries.  These efforts did not make a lasting impression
upon the minds of the company; because they saw nothing surprising in a
physician's being acquainted with all the mysteries of his art; and, as
their custom was already bespoke for others of the profession, whom it
was their interest to employ, our adventurer might have starved amidst
the caresses of his acquaintance, had not he derived considerable
advantage from a lucky accident in the course of his expectancy.

A gentlewoman's daughter, of a weakly constitution, by drinking the
waters, had so far recovered her health and complexion, as to allure the
affection of a young squire in the neighbourhood, who amused her for some
time with his addresses, until his heart was seduced by the charms of
another young lady lately arrived at the wells.  The forsaken nymph,
shocked at this disgrace and mortification, relapsed into her former
languishing disorder; and was by her mother put under the management and
prescription of a physician, who had been an industrious enemy of Fathom
from his first appearance at Tunbridge.  The patient, though violently
chagrined at the levity of her quondam admirer, was not altogether
without hope, that the very same inconstancy which had prompted him to
leave her, might in time induce him to return, after the novelty of his
new passion should be wore off; and this hope served to support her under
the sorrow and disgrace of her disappointment.  At length, however, the
squire and his new mistress disappeared; and some busybody was officious
enough to communicate this piece of news to the forlorn shepherdess, with
this additional circumstance, that they were gone to a neighbouring
parish to be joined in the bands of wedlock.

These fatal tidings were no sooner imparted to the abandoned Phillis,
than she was seized with an hysteric fit; and, what rendered the accident
more unfortunate, her physician had been called to the country, and was
not expected at Tunbridge till next day.  The apothecary was immediately
summoned; and, being either puzzled by the symptoms, or afraid of
encroaching upon the province of his superiors, advised the old lady to
send for Doctor Fathom without delay.  She had no other objection to this
expedient, but the enmity which she knew subsisted between the two
leeches; yet, hearing that her own doctor would not consult with Fathom
upon his return but, perhaps renounce the patient, by which means her
daughter's health might be endangered, she would not solicit our hero's
assistance, until the young lady had remained seven hours speechless and
insensible; when, her fear prevailing over every other consideration, she
implored the advice of our adventurer, who, having made the necessary
interrogations, and felt the patient's pulse, which was regular and
distinct, found reason to conclude that the fit would not last much
longer, and, after having observed that she was in a very dangerous way,
prescribed some medicines for external application; and, to enhance their
opinion of his diligence and humanity, resolved to stay in the room and
observe their effect.

His judgment did not fail him on this occasion.  In less than half an
hour after his embrocations had been applied, she recovered the use of
her tongue, opened her eyes, and having, in delirious exclamations,
upbraided her perfidious lover, became quite sensible and composed,
though she continued extremely low and dejected.  To remedy these
sinkings, certain cordials were immediately administered, according to
the prescription of Doctor Fathom, upon whom extraordinary encomiums were
bestowed by all present, who believed he had actually rescued her from
the jaws of death; and as he was by this time let into the secrets of the
family, he found himself in a fair way of being an egregious favourite of
the old gentlewoman; when, unluckily, his brother, having dismissed his
country patient with uncommon despatch, entered the apartment, and eyed
his rival with looks of inexpressible rage; then, surveying the patient,
and the phials that stood upon the table, by turns, "What, in the name of
God!" cried he, "is the meaning of all this trash!"

"Really, doctor," replied the mother, a little confounded at being thus
taken by surprise, "Biddy has been taken dangerously ill, and lain seven
or eight hours in a severe fit, from which I am confident she would never
have recovered without the help of a physician; and as you were absent,
we had recourse to this gentleman, whose prescription hath had a happy
and surprising effect."  "Effect!" cried this offended member of the
faculty, "pshaw!--stuff!--who made you judge of effects or causes?"  Then
advancing to the patient, "What has been the matter, Miss Biddy, that you
could not wait till my return?"

Here Fathom interposing, "Sir," said he, "if you will step into the next
room, I will communicate my sentiments of the case, together with the
method upon which I have proceeded, that we may deliberate upon the next
step that is to be taken."  Instead of complying with this proposal, he
seated himself in a chair, with his back to our adventurer, and, while he
examined Miss Biddy's pulse, gave him to understand, that he should not
consult with him about the matter.

Fathom, not in the least disconcerted at this uncivil answer, walked
round his antagonist, and, placing himself in his front, desired to know
his reason for treating him with such supercilious contempt.  "I am
resolved," said the other, "never to consult with any physician who has
not taken his degrees at either of the English universities."  "Upon the
supposition," replied our adventurer, "that no person can be properly
educated for the profession at any other school."  "You are in the
right," answered Doctor Looby; "that is one of many reasons I have to
decline the consultation."

"How far you are in the right," retorted Fathom, "I leave the world to
judge, after I have observed, that, in your English universities, there
is no opportunity of studying the art; no, not so much as a lecture given
on the subject.  Nor is there one physician of note in this kingdom who
has not derived the greatest part of his medical knowledge from the
instructions of foreigners."

Looby, incensed at this asseveration, which he was not prepared to
refute, exclaimed, in a most infuriate accent, "Who are you?--whence came
you?--where was you bred?  You are one of those, I believe, who graduate
themselves, and commence doctors, the Lord knows how; an interloper, who,
without licence or authority, comes hither to take the bread out of the
mouths of gentlemen who have been trained to the business in a regular
manner, and bestowed great pains and expense to qualify themselves for
the profession.  For my own part, my education cost me fifteen hundred
pounds."

"Never was money laid out to less purpose," said Ferdinand; "for it does
not appear that you have learned so much as the basis of medical
requirements, namely, that decorum and urbanity which ought to
distinguish the deportment of every physician.  You have even debased the
noblest and most beneficial art that ever engaged the study of mankind,
which cannot be too much cultivated, and too little restrained, in
seeking to limit the practice of it to a set of narrow-minded, illiberal
wretches, who, like the lowest handicraftsmen, claim the exclusive
privileges of a corporation.  Had you doubted my ability, you ought to
have satisfied yourself in a manner consistent with decency and candour;
but your behaviour on this occasion is such a malicious outrage upon good
manners and humanity, that, were it not for my regard to these ladies, I
would chastise you for your insolence on the spot.  Meanwhile, madam,"
addressing himself to the mother, "you must give me leave to insist upon
your dismissing either that gentleman, or me, without hesitation."

This peremptory language had an instantaneous effect upon the hearers.
Looby's face grew pale, and his nether lip began to tremble.  The patient
was dismayed, and the old gentlewoman concerned and perplexed.  She
earnestly besought the gentlemen to be reconciled to each other, and
enter into a friendly consultation upon her daughter's distemper; but,
finding both equally averse to accommodation, and Fathom becoming more
and more importunate in his demand, she presented him with a double fee;
and giving him to understand that Doctor Looby had long attended the
family, and was intimately acquainted with her own and Biddy's
constitution, said, she hoped he would not take it amiss if she retained
her old physician.

Though our hero was much mortified at this triumph of his rival, he made
a virtue of necessity, and retired with great complaisance, wishing that
Miss Biddy might never again be the subject of such a disagreeable
dispute.  Whether the patient was frighted at this altercation, or
displeased with her mother's decision against an agreeable young fellow,
who had, as it were, recalled her from the grave, and made himself master
of the secret that rankled at her heart, or the disease had wound up her
nerves for another paroxysm, certain it is, she all of a sudden broke
forth into a violent peal of laughter, which was succeeded by the most
doleful cries, and other expressions of grief; then she relapsed into a
fit, attended with strong convulsions, to the unspeakable terror of the
old gentlewoman, who entreated Doctor Looby to be expeditious in his
prescription.  Accordingly he seized the pen with great confidence, and a
whole magazine of antihysteric medicines were, in different forms,
externally and internally applied.

Nevertheless, either nature was disturbed in her own efforts by these
applications, or the patient was resolved to disgrace the doctor.  For
the more remedies that were administered, her convulsions became the more
violent; and in spite of all his endeavours, he could not overcome the
obstinacy of the distemper.  Such a miscarriage, upon the back of his
rival's success, could not fail to overwhelm him with confusion;
especially as the mother baited him with repeated entreaties to do
something for the recovery of her daughter.  At length, after having
exercised her patience in vain for several hours, this affectionate
parent could no longer suppress the suggestions of her concern, but, in
an incoherent strain, told him that her duty would not suffer her to be
longer silent in an affair on which depended the life of her dear child.
That she had seen enough to believe he had mistaken the case of poor
Biddy, and he could not justly blame her for recalling Doctor Fathom,
whose prescription had operated in a miraculous manner.

Looby, shocked at this proposal, protested against it with great
vehemence, as an expedient highly injurious to himself.  "My remedies,"
said he, "are just beginning to take effect, and, in all probability, the
fit will not last much longer; so that, by calling in another person at
this juncture, you will defraud me of that credit which is my due, and
deck my adversary with trophies to which he has no pretension."  She was
prevailed upon, by this remonstrance, to wait another half hour, when
perceiving, as yet, no alteration for the better, and being distracted
with her fears, which reproached her with want of natural affection, she
sent a message to Doctor Fathom, desiring to see him with all possible
despatch.

He was not slow in obeying the call, but hastening to the scene of
action, was not a little surprised to find Looby still in the apartment.
This gentleman, since better might not be, resolved to sacrifice his
pride to his interest, and, rather than lose his patient altogether, and
run the risk of forfeiting his reputation at the same time, stayed with
intention to compromise his difference with Fathom, that he might not be
wholly excluded from the honour of the cure, in case it could be
effected.  But he had reckoned without his host in his calculation of the
Count's placability; for, when he put on his capitulating face, and,
after a slight apology for his late behaviour, proposed that all
animosity should subside in favour of the young lady, whose life was at
stake, our hero rejected his advances with infinite disdain, and assured
the mother, in a very solemn tone, that, far from consulting with a man
who had treated him so unworthily, he would not stay another minute in
the house, unless he should see him discarded; a satisfaction barely
sufficient to atone for the affront he himself had suffered by the unjust
preference she had before given to his rival.

There was no remedy.  Looby was obliged to retreat in his turn; then our
adventurer, approaching the bedside, reconnoitred the patient, examined
the medicines which had been administered, and lifting up his eyes in
expressive silence, detached the footman with a new order to the
apothecary.  It was well the messenger used expedition, otherwise Doctor
Fathom would have been anticipated by the operation of nature; for, the
fit having almost run its career, Miss Biddy was on the point of
retrieving her senses, when the frontal prescribed by Fathom was applied;
to the efficacy of this, therefore, was ascribed her recovery, when she
opened her eyes, and began to pour forth unconnected ejaculations; and in
a few moments after, she was persuaded to swallow a draught prepared for
the purpose, her perception returned, and Ferdinand gained the reputation
of having performed a second miracle.

But he was furnished with a piece of intelligence, of much more energy
than all she had taken, and so soon as he concluded she was capable to
bear the news without any dangerous emotion, he, among other articles of
chit-chat culled for her amusement, took the opportunity of telling the
company, that Squire Stub (the cause of Miss Biddy's disorder) had, in
his way to matrimony, been robbed of his bride, by a gentleman to whom
she had been formerly engaged.  He had waited for her on purpose at an
inn on the road, where he found means to appease her displeasure, which
he had, it seems, incurred, and to supersede her new lover, whom she
quitted without ceremony; upon which the squire had returned to
Tunbridge, cursing her levity, yet blessing his good stars for having so
seasonably prevented his ruin, which would have infallibly been the
consequence of his marrying such an adventurer.

It would be superfluous to observe, that these tidings operated like an
admirable specific on the spirits of the young lady, who, while she
affected to pity the squire, was so much overjoyed at his disappointment,
that her eyes began to sparkle with uncommon vivacity, and in less than
two hours after the last of those terrible attacks, she was restored to a
better state of health than she had enjoyed for many weeks.  Fathom was
not forgot amidst the rejoicings of the family.  Besides an handsome
gratuity for the effects of his extraordinary skill, the old lady
favoured him with a general invitation to her house, and the daughter not
only considered him as the restorer of her health, and angel of her good
fortune, but also began to discover an uncommon relish for his
conversation; so that he was struck with the prospect of succeeding
Squire Stub in her affection.  A conquest which, if sanctioned by the
approbation of the mother, would console him for all the disappointments
he had sustained; for Miss Biddy was entitled to a fortune of ten
thousand pounds, provided she should marry with the consent of her
parent, who was the sole executrix of the father's will.

Animated with the hope of such an advantageous match, our adventurer
missed no opportunity of improving the lodgment he had made, while the
two ladies failed not to extol his medical capacity among all their
female acquaintances.  By means of this circulation, his advice was
demanded in several other cases, which he managed with such an imposing
air of sagacity and importance, that his fame began to spread, and before
the end of the season, he had ravished more than one half of the business
from his competitor.  Notwithstanding these fortunate events, he foresaw,
that he should find great difficulty in transplanting his reputation, so
as to take root in London, which was the only soil in which he could
propose to rise to any degree of prosperity and independence; and this
reflection was grounded upon a maxim which universally prevails among the
English people, namely, to overlook and wholly neglect, on their return
to the metropolis, all the connexions they may have chanced to acquire
during their residence at any of the medical wells.  And this social
disposition is so scrupulously maintained, that two persons who lived
in the most intimate correspondence at Bath or Tunbridge, shall in
four-and-twenty hours so totally forget their friendship, as to meet in
St. James's Park, without betraying the least token of recognition; so
that one would imagine these mineral waters were so many streams issuing
from the river Lethe, so famed of old for washing away all traces of
memory and recollection.

Aware of this oblivious principle, Doctor Fathom collected all his
qualifications, in order to make such an impression upon the heart of
Miss Biddy, as would resist all her endeavours to shake him from her
remembrance; and his efforts succeeded so well, that Squire Stub's
advances to a reconciliation were treated with manifest indifference.  In
all probability our hero would have made a very advantageous campaign,
had not his good fortune been retarded by an obstruction, which, as he
did not perceive it, he could not possibly surmount.  In displaying his
accomplishments to captivate the daughter, he had unwittingly made an
absolute conquest of the mother, who superintended the conduct of Miss
Biddy with such jealous vigilance, that he could find no opportunity of
profiting by the progress he had made in her heart; for the careful
matron would never lose sight of her, no, not for one moment.

Had the old lady given the least intimation to our adventurer, of the
sentiments she entertained in his behalf, his complaisance was of such a
pliable texture, that he would have quitted his other pursuit, and made
her the sole object of his attention.  But she either depended upon the
effect of his own good taste and discernment, or was too proud to
disclose a passion which he had hitherto overlooked.




CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

REPAIRS TO THE METROPOLIS, AND ENROLS HIMSELF AMONG THE SONS OF PAEAN.


Before this affair could be brought to a proper explanation, the season
being almost ended, the ladies departed from Tunbridge, and in a little
time Doctor Fathom followed them to London, having previously obtained
permission to visit them in that metropolis.  He had solicited the same
favour of some other families, in which he hoped to take root, though he
knew they were pre-engaged to different physicians; and resolving to make
his first medical appearance in London with some eclat, he not only
purchased an old chariot, which was new painted for the purpose, but
likewise hired a footman, whom he clothed in laced livery, in order to
distinguish himself from the common run of his brethren.

This equipage, though much more expensive than his finances could bear,
he found absolutely necessary to give him a chance for employment; as
every shabby retainer to physic, in this capital, had provided himself
with a vehicle, which was altogether used by way of a travelling
sign-post, to draw in customers; so that a walking physician was
considered as an obscure pedlar, trudging from street to street, with
his pack of knowledge on his shoulders, and selling his remnants of
advice by retail.  A chariot was not now set up for the convenience of a
man sinking under the fatigue of extensive practice, but as a piece of
furniture every way as necessary as a large periwig with three tails; and
a physician, let his merit, in other respects, be never so conspicuous,
can no more expect to become considerable in business, without the
assistance of this implement, than he can hope to live without food, or
breathe without a windpipe.

This requisite is so well understood, that, exclusive of those who
profess themselves doctors, every raw surgeon, every idle apothecary, who
can make interest with some foolhardy coachmaker, may be seen dancing

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