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Mr. Midshipman Easy

by Frederick Marryat · English · Gutenberg #6629 · 785,969 chars · public domain (US)

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Title: Mr. Midshipman Easy

Author: Frederick Marryat


        
Release date: October 1, 2004 [eBook #6629]
                Most recently updated: June 18, 2024

Language: English

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Credits: Produced by John Howard Heaton


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MR MIDSHIPMAN EASY


By FREDERICK MARRYAT (1792-1848)




CHAPTER I

Which the reader will find very easy to read.


Mr Nicodemus Easy was a gentleman who lived down in Hampshire; he was
a married man, and in very easy circumstances. Most couples find it
very easy to have a family, but not always quite so easy to maintain
them.  Mr Easy was not at all uneasy on the latter score, as he had no
children; but he was anxious to have them, as most people covet what
they cannot obtain.  After ten years, Mr Easy gave it up as a bad job.
Philosophy is said to console a man under disappointment, although
Shakespeare asserts that it is no remedy for toothache; so Mr Easy
turned philosopher, the very best profession a man can take up, when
he is fit for nothing else; he must be a very incapable person indeed
who cannot talk nonsense.  For some time, Mr Easy could not decide
upon what description his nonsense should consist of; at last he fixed
upon the rights of man, equality, and all that; how every person was
born to inherit his share of the earth, a right at present only
admitted to a certain length; that is, about six feet, for we all
inherit our graves and are allowed to take possession without dispute.
But no one would listen to Mr Easy's philosophy.  The women would not
acknowledge the rights of men, whom they declared always to be in the
wrong; and, as the gentlemen who visited Mr Easy were all men of
property, they could not perceive the advantages of sharing with those
who had none. However, they allowed him to discuss the question, while
they discussed his port wine.  The wine was good, if the arguments
were not, and we must take things as we find them in this world.

While Mr Easy talked philosophy, Mrs Easy played patience, and they
were a very happy couple, riding side by side on their hobbies, and
never interfering with each other.  Mr Easy knew his wife could not
understand him, and therefore did not expect her to listen very
attentively; and Mrs Easy did not care how much her husband talked,
provided she was not put out in her game.  Mutual forbearance will
always ensure domestic felicity.

There was another cause for their agreeing so well.  Upon any disputed
question Mr Easy invariably gave it up to Mrs Easy, telling her that
she should have her own way and this pleased his wife; but, as Mr Easy
always took care, when it came to the point, to have his way, he was
pleased as well.  It is true that Mrs Easy had long found out that she
did not have her own way long; but she was of an easy disposition, and
as, in nine cases out of ten, it was of very little consequence how
things were done, she was quite satisfied with his submission during
the heat of the argument.  Mr Easy had admitted that she was right,
and if like all men he would do wrong, why, what could a poor woman
do?  With a lady of such a quiet disposition, it is easy to imagine
that the domestic felicity of Mr Easy was not easily disturbed. But,
as people have observed before, there is a mutability in human
affairs.  It was at the finale of the eleventh year of their marriage
that Mrs Easy at first complained that she could not enjoy her
breakfast.  Mrs Easy had her own suspicions, everybody else considered
it past doubt, all except Mr Easy; he little "thought, good easy man,
that his greatness was ripening"; he had decided that to have an heir
was no Easy task, and it never came into his calculations, that there
could be a change in his wife's figure.  You might have added to it,
subtracted from it, divided it, or multiplied it, but as it was a
zero, the result would be always the same.  Mrs Easy also was not
quite sure--she believed it might be the case, there was no saying; it
might be a mistake, like that of Mrs Trunnion's in the novel, and,
therefore, she said nothing to her husband about the matter.  At last
Mr Easy opened his eyes, and when, upon interrogating his wife, he
found out the astounding truth, he opened his eyes still wider, and
then he snapped his fingers and danced, like a bear upon hot plates,
with delight, thereby proving that different causes may produce
similar effects in two instances at one and the same time.  The bear
dances from pain, Mr Easy from pleasure; and again, when we are
indifferent, or do not care for anything, we snap our fingers at it,
and when we are overjoyed, and obtain what we most care for, we also
snap our fingers.  Two months after Mr Easy snapped his fingers, Mrs
Easy felt no inclination to snap hers, either from indifference or
pleasure, The fact was, that Mrs Easy's time was come, to undergo what
Shakespeare pronounces the pleasing punishment that women bears but
Mrs Easy, like the rest of her sex, declared "that all men were
liars," and most particularly poets.

But while Mrs Easy was suffering, Mr Easy was in ecstasies.  He
laughed at pain, as all philosophers do when it is suffered by other
people, and not by themselves.

In due course of time, Mrs Easy presented her husband with a fine boy,
whom we present to the public as our hero.




CHAPTER II

In which Mrs Easy, as usual, has her own way.


It was the fourth day after Mrs Easy's confinement that Mr Easy, who
was sitting by her bedside in an easy chair, commenced as follows: "I
have been thinking, my dear Mrs Easy, about the name I shall give this
child."

"Name, Mr Easy! why, what name should you give it but your own?"

"Not so, my dear," replied Mr Easy; "they call all names proper names,
but I think that mine is not.  It is the very worst name in the
calendar."

"Why, what's the matter with it, Mr Easy?"

"The matter affects me as well as the boy.  Nicodemus is a long name
to write at full length, and Nick is vulgar.  Besides, as there will
be two Nicks, they will naturally call my boy young Nick, and of
course I shall be styled old Nick, which will be diabolical."

"Well, Mr Easy, at all events then let me choose the name."

"That you shall, my dear, and it was with this view that I have
mentioned the subject so early."

"I think, Mr Easy, I will call the boy after my poor father--his name
shall be Robert."

"Very well, my dear, if you wish it, it shall be Robert.  You shall
have your own way.  But I think, my dear, upon a little consideration,
you will acknowledge that there is a decided objection."

"An objection Mr Easy?"

"Yes, my dear; Robert may be very well, but you must reflect upon the
consequences; he is certain to be called Bob."

"Well, my dear, and suppose they do call him Bob?"

"I cannot bear even the supposition, my dear.  You forget the county
in which we are residing, the downs covered with sheep."

"Why, Mr Easy, what can sheep have to do with a Christian name?"

"There it is; women never look to consequences.  My dear, they have a
great deal to do with the name of Bob.  I will appeal to any farmer in
the county, if ninety-nine shepherds' dogs out of one hundred are not
called Bob.  Now observe, your child is out of doors somewhere in the
fields or plantations; you want and you call him. Instead of your
child, what do you find?  Why, a dozen curs at least, who come running
up to you, all answering to the name of Bob, and wagging their stumps
of tails.  You see, Mrs Easy, it is a dilemma not to be got over.  You
level your only son to the brute creation by giving him a Christian
name which, from its peculiar brevity, has been monopolised by all the
dogs in the county.  Any other name you please, my dear, but in this
one instance you must allow me to lay my positive veto."

"Well, then, let me see--but I'll think of it, Mr Easy; my head aches
very much just now."

"I will think for you, my dear.  What do you say to John?"

"O no, Mr Easy, such a common name."

"A proof of its popularity, my dear.  It is scriptural--we have the
Apostle and the Baptist--we have a dozen Popes who were all Johns. It
is royal--we have plenty of kings who were Johns--and moreover, it is
short, and sounds honest and manly."

"Yes, very true, my dear; but they will call him Jack." "Well, we have
had several celebrated characters who were Jacks. There was--let me
see--Jack the Giant Killer, and Jack of the Bean Stock--and Jack--
Jack--"

"Jack Spratt," replied Mrs Easy. "And Jack Cade, Mrs Easy, the great
rebel--and Three-fingered Jack, Mrs Easy, the celebrated negro--and,
above all, Jack Falstaff, ma'am, Jack Falstaff--honest Jack Falstaff--
witty Jack Falstaff--"

"I thought, Mr Easy, that I was to be permitted to choose the name."

"Well, so you shall, my dear; I give it up to you.  Do just as you
please; but depend upon it that John is the right name.  Is it not
now, my dear?"

"It's the way you always treat me, Mr Easy; you say that you give it
up, and that I shall have my own way, but I never do have it. I am
sure that the child will be christened John."

"Nay, my dear, it shall be just what you please.  Now I recollect it,
there were several Greek emperors who were Johns; but decide for
yourself, my dear."

"No, no," replied Mrs Easy, who was ill, and unable to contend any
longer, "I give it up, Mr Easy.  I know how it will be, as it always
is: you give me my own way as people give pieces of gold to children,
it's their own money, but they must not spend it.  Pray call him
John."

"There, my dear, did not I tell you you would be of my opinion upon
reflection? I knew you would.  I have given you your own way, and you
tell me to call him John; so now we're both of the same mind, and that
point is settled."

"I should like to go to sleep, Mr Easy; I feel far from well."

"You shall always do just as you like, my dear," replied the husband,
"and have your own way in everything.  It is the greatest pleasure I
have when I yield to your wishes.  I will walk in the garden.
Good-bye, my dear."

Mrs Easy made no reply, and the philosopher quitted the room. As may
easily be imagined, on the following day the boy was christened John.




CHAPTER III

In which our hero has to wait the issue of an argument.


The reader may observe that, in general, all my first chapters are
very short, and increase in length as the work advances.  I mention
this as a proof of my modesty and diffidence.  At first, I am like a
young bird just out of its mother's nest, pluming my little feathers
and taking short flights.  By degrees I obtain more confidence, and
wing my course over hill and dale.

It is very difficult to throw any interest into a chapter on
childhood.  There is the same uniformity in all children until they
develop.  We cannot, therefore, say much relative to Jack Easy's
earliest days; he sucked and threw up his milk while the nurse blessed
it for a pretty dear, slept, and sucked again.  He crowed in the
morning like a cock, screamed when he was washed, stared at the
candle, and made wry faces with the wind.  Six months passed in these
innocent amusements, and then he was put into shorts.  But I ought
here to have remarked, that Mrs Easy did not find herself equal to
nursing her own infant, and it was necessary to look out for a
substitute.

Now a common-place person would have been satisfied with the
recommendation of the medical man, who looks but to the one thing
needful, which is a sufficient and wholesome supply of nourishment for
the child; but Mr Easy was a philosopher, and had latterly taken to
craniology, and he descanted very learnedly with the Doctor upon the
effect of his only son obtaining his nutriment from an unknown source.
"Who knows," observed Mr Easy, "but that my son may not imbibe with
his milk the very worst passions of human nature."

"I have examined her," replied the Doctor, "and can safely recommend
her."

"That examination is only preliminary to one more important," replied
Mr Easy.  "I must examine her."

"Examine who, Mr Easy?" exclaimed his wife, who had lain down again on
the bed.

"The nurse, my dear."

"Examine what, Mr Easy?" continued the lady.

"Her head, my dear," replied the husband.  "I must ascertain what her
propensities are."

"I think you had better leave her alone, Mr Easy.  She comes this
evening, and I shall question her pretty severely.  Doctor Middleton,
what do you know of this young person?"

"I know, madam, that she is very healthy and strong, or I should not
have selected her."

"But is her character good?"

"Really, madam, I know little about her character; but you can make
any inquiries you please.  But at the same time I ought to observe,
that if you are too particular in that point, you will have some
difficulty in providing yourself."

"Well, I shall see," replied Mrs Easy. "And I shall feel," rejoined
the husband.

This parleying was interrupted by the arrival of the very person in
question, who was announced by the housemaid, and was ushered in.  She
was a handsome, florid, healthy-looking girl, awkward and naive in her
manner, and apparently not over wise; there was more of the dove than
of the serpent in her composition.

Mr Easy, who was very anxious to make his own discoveries, was the
first who spoke.  "Young woman, come this way, I wish to examine your
head."

"Oh! dear me, sir, it's quite clean, I assure you,". cried the girl,
dropping a curtsey.

Doctor Middleton, who sat between the bed and Mr Easy's chair, rubbed
his hands and laughed.

In the meantime, Mr Easy had untied the string and taken off the cap
of the young woman, and was very busy putting his fingers through her
hair, during which the face of the young woman expressed fear and
astonishment.

"I am glad to perceive that you have a large portion of benevolence."

"Yes," replied the young woman, dropping a curtsey.

"And veneration also."

"Thanky, sir."

"And the organ of modesty is strongly developed."

"Yes, sir," replied the girl with a smile.

"That's quite a new organ," thought Dr Middleton.

"Philoprogenitiveness very powerful."

"If you please, sir, I don't know what that is," answered Sarah, with
a curtsey.

"Nevertheless you have given us a practical, illustration.  Mrs Easy,
I am satisfied.  Have you any questions to ask?  But it is quite
unnecessary."

"To be sure I have, Mr Easy.  Pray, young woman, what is your name?"

"Sarah, if you please, ma'am."

"How long have you been married?"

"Married, ma'am?"

"Yes, married."

"If you please, ma'am, I had a misfortune, ma'am," replied the girl,
casting down her eyes.

"What, have you not been married?"

"No, ma'am, not yet."

"Good heavens!  Dr Middleton, what can you mean by bringing this
person here?" exclaimed Mrs Easy.  "Not a married woman, and she has a
child!"

"If you please, ma'am," interrupted the young woman, dropping a
curtsey, "it was a very little one."

"A very little one!" exclaimed Mrs Easy.

"Yes, ma'am, very small, indeed, and died soon after it was born."

"Oh, Dr Middleton!--what could you mean, Dr Middleton?"

"My dear madam," exclaimed the Doctor, rising from his chair, "this is
the only person that I could find suited to the wants of your child,
and if you do not take her I cannot answer for its life.  It is true,
that a married woman might be procured; but married women, who have a
proper feeling, will not desert their own children; and as Mr Easy
asserts, and you appear to imagine, the temper and disposition of your
child may be affected by the nourishment it receives, I think it more
likely to be injured by the milk of a married woman who will desert
her own child for the sake of gain.  The misfortune which has happened
to this young woman is not always a proof of a bad heart, but of
strong attachment, and the overweening confidence of simplicity."

"You are correct, Doctor," replied Mr Easy, "and her head proves that
she is a modest young woman, with strong religious feeling, kindness
of disposition, and every other requisite."

"The head may prove it all for what I know, Mr Easy, but her conduct
tells another tale."

"She is well fitted for the situation, ma'am," continued the Doctor.

"And if you please, ma'am," rejoined Sarah, "it was such a little
one."

"Shall I try the baby, ma'am?" said the monthly nurse, who had
listened in silence.  "It is fretting so, poor thing, and has its dear
little fist right down its throat."

Dr Middleton gave the signal of assent, and in a few seconds Master
John Easy was fixed to Sarah as tight as a leech.

"Lord love it, how hungry it is!--there, there, stop it a moment, it's
choking, poor thing!"

Mrs Easy, who was lying on her bed, rose up, and went to the child.
Her first feeling was that of envy, that another should have such a
pleasure which was denied to herself; the next, that of delight, at
the satisfaction expressed by the infant.  In a few minutes the child
fell back in a deep sleep.  Mrs Easy was satisfied; maternal feelings
conquered all others, and Sarah was duly installed.

To make short work of it, we have said that Jack Easy in six months
was in shorts.  He soon afterwards began to crawl and show his legs;
indeed, so indecorously, that it was evident that he had imbibed no
modesty with Sarah's milk, neither did he appear to have gained
veneration or benevolence, for he snatched at everything, squeezed the
kitten to death, scratched his mother, and pulled his father by the
hair; notwithstanding all which, both his father and mother and the
whole household declared him to be the finest and sweetest child in
the universe.  But if we were to narrate all the wonderful events of
Jack's childhood from the time of his birth up to the age of seven
years, as chronicled by Sarah, who continued his dry nurse after he
had been weaned, it would take at least three volumes folio.  Jack was
brought up in the way that every only child usually is--that is, he
was allowed to have his own way.




CHAPTER IV

In which the doctor prescribes going to school as a remedy for a cut
finger.


"Have you no idea of putting the boy to school, Mr Easy?" said Dr
Middleton, who had been summoned by a groom with his horse in a foam
to attend immediately at Forest Hill, the name of Mr Easy's mansion,
and who, upon his arrival, had found that Master Easy had cut his
thumb.  One would have thought that he had cut his head off by the
agitation pervading the whole household--Mr Easy walking up and down
very uneasy, Mrs Easy with great difficulty prevented from syncope,
and all the maids bustling and passing round Mrs Easy's chair.
Everybody appeared excited except Master Jack Easy himself, who, with
a rag round his finger, and his pinafore spotted with blood, was
playing at bob-cherry, and cared nothing about the matter.

"Well, what's the matter, my little man?" said Dr Middleton, on
entering, addressing himself to Jack, as the most sensible of the
whole party.

"Oh, Dr Middleton," interrupted Mrs Easy, "he has cut his hand; I'm
sure that a nerve is divided, and then the lock-jaw--"

The Doctor made no reply, but examined the finger: Jack Easy continued
to play bob-cherry with his right hand.

"Have you such a thing as a piece of sticking-plaster in the house,
madam?" observed the Doctor, after examination.

"O yes: run, Mary, run, Sarah!" In a few seconds the maids appeared,
Sarah bringing the sticking-plaster, and Mary following with the
scissors.

"Make yourself quite easy, madam," said Dr Middleton, after he put on
the plaster, "I will answer for no evil consequences."

"Had I not better take him upstairs, and let him lie down a little?"
replied Mrs Easy, slipping a guinea into the Doctor's hand.

"It is not absolutely requisite, madam," said the Doctor; "but at all
events he will be kept out of more mischief."

"Come, my dear, you hear what Dr Middleton says."

"Yes, I heard," replied Jack; "but I shan't go."

"My dear Johnny--come, love--now do, my dear Johnny."

Johnny played bob-cherry, and made no answer.

"Come, Master Johnny," said Sarah.

"Go away, Sarah," said Johnny, with a backhander.

"Oh! fie, Master Johnny," said Mary.

"Johnny, my love," said Mrs Easy in a coaxing tone, "come now--will
you go?"

"I'll go in the garden and get some more cherries," replied Master
Johnny.

"Come, then, love, we will go into the garden."

Master Johnny jumped off his chair, and took his mamma by the hand.

"What a dear, good, obedient child it is!" exclaimed Mrs Easy; "you
may lead him with a thread."

"Yes, to pick cherries," thought Dr Middleton. Mrs Easy, and Johnny,
and Sarah, and Mary, went into the garden, leaving Dr Middleton alone
with Mr Easy, who had been silent during this scene.  Now Dr Middleton
was a clever, sensible man, who had no wish to impose upon anyone.  As
for his taking a guinea for putting on a piece of sticking-plaster,
his conscience was very easy on that score.  His time was equally
valuable, whether he were employed for something or nothing; and,
moreover, he attended the poor gratis. Constantly in the house, he had
seen much of Mr John Easy, and perceived that he was a courageous,
decided boy, of a naturally good disposition; but from the
idiosyncrasy of the father, and the doting folly of the mother, in a
sure way of being spoiled.

As soon, therefore, as the lady was out of hearing, he took a chair,
and made the query at the commencement of the chapter, which we shall
now repeat. "Have you no idea of putting the boy to school, Mr Easy?"

Mr Easy crossed his legs, and clasped his hands together over his
knees, as he always did when he was about to commence an argument.
"The great objection that I have to sending a boy to school, Dr
Middleton, is, that I conceive that the discipline enforced is, not
only contrary to the rights of man, but also in opposition to all
sound sense and common judgment.  Not content with punishment, which
is in itself erroneous, and an infringement of social justice, they
even degrade the minds of the boys still more by applying punishment
to the most degraded part, adding contumely to tyranny.  Of course, it
is intended that a boy who is sent to school should gain by precept
and example; but is he to learn benevolence by the angry look and the
flourish of the vindictive birch,--or forbearance, by the cruelty of
the ushers,--or patience, when the masters over him are out of all
patience, or modesty, when his nether parts are exposed to general
examination?  Is he not daily reading a lesson at variance with that
equality which we all possess, but of which we are unjustly deprived?
Why should there be a distinction between the flogger and the floggee?
Are they not both fashioned alike after God's image, endowed with the
same reason, having an equal right to what the world offers, and which
was intended by Providence to be equally distributed?  Is it not that
the sacred inheritance of all, which has tyrannously and impiously
been ravished from the many for the benefit of the few, and which
ravishment, from long custom of iniquity and inculcation of false
precepts, has too long been basely submitted to? Is it not the duty of
a father to preserve his only son from imbibing these dangerous and
debasing errors, which will render him only one of a vile herd who are
content to suffer, provided that they live? And yet are not these very
errors inculcated at school, and impressed upon their mind inversely
by the birch?  Do not they there receive their first lesson in slavery
with the first lesson in A B C; and are not their minds thereby
prostrated, so as never to rise again, but ever to bow to despotism,
to cringe to rank, to think and act by the precepts of others, and to
tacitly disavow that sacred equality which is our birthright?  No,
sir, without they can teach without resorting to such a fundamental
error as flogging, my boy shall never go to school."

And Mr Easy threw himself back in his chair, imagining like all
philosophers, that he had said something very clever.

Dr Middleton knew his man, and therefore patiently waited until he had
exhausted his oratory.

"I will grant," said the Doctor at last, "that all you say may have
great truth in it; but, Mr Easy, do you not think that by not
permitting a boy to be educated, you allow him to remain more open to
that very error of which you speak?  It is only education which will
conquer prejudice, and enable a man to break through the trammels of
custom.  Now, allowing that the birch is used, yet it is at a period
when the young mind is so elastic as to soon become indifferent; and
after he has attained the usual rudiments of education, you will then
find him prepared to receive those lessons which you can yourself
instil."

"I will teach him everything myself," replied Mr Easy, folding his
arms consequentially and determinedly.

"I do not doubt your capability, Mr Easy; but unfortunately you will
always have a difficulty which you never can get over.  Excuse me, I
know what you are capable of, and the boy would indeed be happy with
such a preceptor, but--if I must speak plain--you must be aware as
well as I am, that the maternal fondness of Mrs Easy will always be a
bar to your intention.  He is already so spoiled by her, that he will
not obey; and without obedience you cannot inculcate."

"I grant, my dear sir, that there is a difficulty on that point; but
maternal weakness must then be overcome by paternal severity."

"May I ask how, Mr Easy? for it appears to me impossible."

"Impossible!  By heavens, I'll make him obey, or I'll--"--Here Mr Easy
stopped before the word flog was fairly out of his mouth,--"I'll know
the reason why, Dr Middleton."

Dr Middleton checked his inclination to laugh, and replied, "That you
would hit upon some scheme, by which you would obtain the necessary
power over him, I have no doubt; but what will be the consequence? The
boy will consider his mother as a protector, and you as a tyrant. He
will have an aversion to you, and with that aversion he will never pay
respect and attention to your valuable precepts when he arrives at an
age to understand them.  Now it appears to me that this difficulty
which you have raised may be got over.  I know a very worthy clergyman
who does not use the birch; but I will write, and put the direct
question to him; and then if your boy is removed from the danger
arising from Mrs Easy's overindulgence, in a short time he will be
ready for your more important tuition."

"I think," replied Mr Easy, after a pause, "that what you say merits
consideration. I acknowledge that in consequence of Mrs Easy's
nonsensical indulgence, the boy is unruly, and will not obey me at
present; and if your friend does not apply the rod, I will think
seriously of sending my son John to him to learn the elements."

The Doctor had gained his point by flattering the philosopher.  In a
day he returned with a letter from the pedagogue in answer to one
supposed to be sent to him, in which the use of the birch was
indignantly disclaimed, and Mr Easy announced to his wife, when they
met that day at tea-time, his intentions with regard to his son John.

"To school, Mr Easy? what, send Johnny to school! a mere infant to
school!"

"Surely, my dear, you must be aware that at nine years it is high time
that he learnt to read."

"Why he almost reads already, Mr Easy; surely I can teach him that.
Does he not, Sarah?"

"Lord bless him, yes, ma'am, he was saying his letters yesterday."

"Oh, Mr Easy, what can have put this in your head?  Johnny, dear, come
here--tell me now what's the letter A? You were singing it in the
garden this morning."

"I want some sugar," replied Johnny, stretching his arm over the table
to the sugar-basin, which was out of his reach.

"Well, my love, you shall have a great lump if you will tell me what's
the letter A."

"A was an archer, and shot at a frog," replied Johnny in a surly tone.

"There now, Mr Easy; and he can go through the whole alphabet--can't
he, Sarah?"

"That he can, the dear--can't you, Johnny dear?"

"No," replied Johnny.

"Yes, you can, my love; you know what's the letter B. Now don't you?"

"Yes," replied Johnny.

"There, Mr Easy, you see what the boy knows, and how obedient he is
too.  Come, Johnny dear, tell us what was B?"

"No, I won't," replied Johnny, "I want some more sugar"; and Johnny,
who had climbed on a chair, spread himself over the table to reach it.

"Mercy!  Sarah, pull him off--he'll upset the urn," screamed Mrs Easy.
Sarah caught hold of Johnny by the loins to pull him back, but Johnny,
resisting the interference, turned round on his back as he lay on the
table, and kicked Sarah in the face, just as she made another
desperate grasp at him.  The rebound from the kick, given as he lay on
a smooth mahogany table, brought Johnny's head in contact with the
urn, which was upset in the opposite direction, and, notwithstanding a
rapid movement on the part of Mr Easy, he received a sufficient
portion of boiling liquid on his legs to scald him severely, and
induce him to stamp and swear in a very unphilosophical way.  In the
meantime Sarah and Mrs Easy had caught up Johnny, and were both
holding him at the same time, exclaiming and lamenting.  The pain of
the scald, and the indifference shown towards him, were too much for
Mr Easy's temper to put up with.  He snatched Johnny out of their
arms, and, quite forgetting his equality and rights of man, belaboured
him without mercy.  Sarah flew into interfere, and received a blow
which not only made her see a thousand stars, but sent her reeling on
the floor.  Mrs Easy went off into hysterics, and Johnny howled so as
to be heard at a quarter of a mile.

How long Mr Easy would have continued it is impossible to say; but the
door opened, and Mr Easy looked up while still administering the
punishment, and perceived Dr Middleton in mute astonishment.  He had
promised to come in to tea, and enforce Mr Easy's arguments, if it
were necessary; but it certainly appeared to him, that in the argument
which Mr Easy was then enforcing, he required no assistance.  However,
at the entrance of Dr Middleton, Johnny was dropped, and lay roaring
on the floor; Sarah, too, remained where she had been floored, Mrs
Easy had rolled on the floor, the urn was also on the floor, and Mr
Easy, although not floored, had not a leg to stand upon.

Never did a medical man look in more opportunely.  Mr Easy at first
was not certainly of that opinion, but his legs became so painful that
he soon became a convert.

Dr Middleton, as in duty bound, first picked up Mrs Easy, and laid her
on the sofa.  Sarah rose, picked up Johnny, and carried him, kicking
and roaring, out of the room; in return for which attention she
received sundry bites.  The footman, who had announced the doctor,
picked up the urn, that being all that was in his department. Mr Easy
threw himself panting in agony on the other sofa, and Dr Middleton was
excessively embarrassed how to act: he perceived that Mr Easy required
his assistance, and that Mrs Easy could do without it; but how to
leave a lady, who was half really and half pretendedly in hysterics,
was difficult; for if he attempted to leave her, she kicked and
flounced, and burst out the more.  At last Dr Middleton rang the bell,
which brought the footman, who summoned all the maids, who carried Mrs
Easy upstairs, and then the Doctor was able to attend to the only
patient who really required his assistance.  Mr Easy explained the
affair in few words, broken into ejaculations from pain, as the Doctor
removed his stockings.  From the applications of Dr Middleton, Mr Easy
soon obtained bodily relief; but what annoyed him still more than his
scalded legs, was the Doctor having been a witness to his infringement
of the equality and rights of man.  Dr Middleton perceived this, and
he knew also how to pour balm into that wound.

"My dear Mr Easy, I am very sorry that you have had this accident, for
which you are indebted to Mrs Easy's foolish indulgence of the boy;
but I am glad to perceive that you have taken up those parental duties
which are inculcated by the Scriptures.  Solomon says, 'that he who
spares the rod, spoils the child,' thereby implying that it is the
duty of a father to correct his children, and in a father, the so
doing does not interfere with the rights of man, or any natural
equality, for the son being a part or portion of the father, he is
only correcting his own self; and the proof of it is, that a father,
in punishing his own son, feels as much pain in so doing as if he were
himself punished.  It is, therefore, nothing but self-discipline,
which is strictly enjoined us by the Scriptures."

"That is exactly my opinion," replied Mr Easy, comforted at the Doctor
having so logically got him out of the scrape.  "But--he shall go to
school to-morrow, that I'm determined on."

"He will have to thank Mrs Easy for that," replied the Doctor.

"Exactly," replied Mr Easy. "Doctor, my legs are getting very hot
again."

"Continue to bathe them with the vinegar and water, Mr Easy, until I
send you an embrocation, which will give you immediate relief. I will
call to-morrow.  By-the-bye, I am to see a little patient at Mr
Bonnycastle's: if it is any accommodation, I will take your son with
me."

"It will be a great accommodation, Doctor," replied Mr Easy.

"Then, my dear sir, I will just go up and see how Mrs Easy is, and
to-morrow I will call at ten. I can wait an hour.  Good-night."

"Good-night, Doctor."

The doctor had his game to play with Mrs Easy.  He magnified her
husband's accident--he magnified his wrath, and advised her by no
means to say one word, until he was well and more pacified.  The next
day he repeated this dose, and, in spite of the ejaculations of Sarah,
and the tears of Mrs Easy, who dared not venture to plead her cause,
and the violent resistance of Master Johnny, who appeared to have a
presentiment of what was to come, our hero was put into Dr Middleton's
chariot, and with the exception of one plate of glass, which he kicked
out of the window with his feet, and for which feat the Doctor, now
that he had him all to himself, boxed his ears till he was nearly
blind, he was, without any further eventful occurrence, carried by the
Doctor's footman into the parlour of Mr Bonnycastle.




CHAPTER V

Jack Easy is sent to a school at which there is no flogging.


Master Jack had been plumped down in a chair by the doctor's servant,
who, as he quitted him, first looked at his own hands, from which the
blood was drawn in several parts, and then at Master Jack, with his
teeth closed, and lips compressed, as much as to say, "If I only
dared, would not I, that's all!" and then walked out of the room,
repaired to the carriage at the front door, when he showed his hands
to the coachman, who looked down from his box in great commiseration,
at the same time fully sharing his fellow-servant's indignation.  But
we must repair to the parlour. Dr Middleton ran over a newspaper,
while Johnny sat on the chair all of a heap, looking like a lump of
sulks, with his feet on the upper front bar, and his knees almost up
to his nose.  He was a promising pupil, Jack.

Mr Bonnycastle made his appearance--a tall, well-built, handsome, fair
man, with a fine powdered head, dressed in solemn black and knee
buckles; his linen beautifully clean, and with a peculiar bland
expression of countenance.  When he smiled he showed a row of teeth
white as ivory, and his mild blue eye was the ne plus ultra of
beneficence.  He was the beau-ideal of a preceptor, and it was
impossible to see him and hear his mild pleasing voice, without
wishing that all your sons were under his protection. He was a ripe
scholar, and a good one, and at the time we speak of, had the care of
upwards of one hundred boys.  He was celebrated for turning them out
well, and many of his pupils were rising fast in the senate, as well
as distinguishing themselves in the higher Professions.

Dr Middleton, who was on intimate terms with Bonnycastle, rose as he
entered the room, and they shook hands.  Middleton then turned to
where Jack sat, and pointing to him, said, "Look there."

Bonnycastle smiled.  "I cannot say that I have had worse, but I have
almost as bad. I will apply the Promethean torch, and soon vivify that
rude mass.  Come, sit down, Middleton."

"But," said the Doctor, as he resumed his chair, "tell me,
Bonnycastle, how you will possibly manage to lick such a cub into
shape, when you do not resort to flogging?"

"I have no opinion of flogging, and therefore I do not resort to it.
The fact is, I was at Harrow myself, and was rather a pickle. I was
called up as often as most boys in the school, and I perfectly
recollect, that eventually I cared nothing for a flogging. I had
become case-hardened.  It is the least effective part that you can
touch a boy upon. It leaves nothing behind to refresh their memories."

"I should have thought otherwise."

"My dear Middleton, I can produce more effect by one caning than
twenty floggings.  Observe, you flog upon a part the most quiescent;
but you cane upon all parts, from the head to the heels. Now, when
once the first sting of the birch is over, then a dull sensation comes
over the part, and the pain after that is nothing; whereas a good
sound caning leaves sores and bruises in every part, and on all the
parts which are required for muscular action.  After a flogging, a boy
may run out in the hours of recreation, and join his playmates as well
as ever, but a good caning tells a very different tale; he cannot move
one part of his body without being reminded for days by the pain of
the punishment he has undergone, and he is very careful how he is
called up again."

"My dear sir, I really had an idea that you were excessively lenient,"
replied Middleton, laughing; "I am glad that I am under a mistake."

"Look at that cub, Doctor, sitting there more like a brute than a
reasonable being; do you imagine that I could ever lick it into shape
without strong measures?  At the same time, allow me to say, that I
consider my system by far the best.  At the public schools, punishment
is no check; it is so trifling that it is derided: with me punishment
is punishment in the true sense of the word, and the consequence is,
that it is much more seldom resorted to."

"You are a terrorist, Bonnycastle."

"The two strongest impulses in our nature are fear and love. In
theory, acting upon the latter is very beautiful; but in practice, I
never found it to answer--and for the best of reasons, our self-love
is stronger than our love for others.  Now I never yet found fear to
fail, for the very same reason that the other does, because with fear
we act upon self-love, and nothing else."

"And yet we have many now who would introduce a system of schooling
without correction; and who maintain that the present system is
degrading."

"There are a great many fools in this world, Doctor."

"That reminds me of this boy's father," replied Dr Middleton; who then
detailed to the pedagogue the idiosyncrasy of Mr Easy, and all the
circumstances attending Jack being sent to his school.

"There is no time to be lost then, Doctor. I must conquer this young
gentleman before his parents call to see him.  Depend upon it, in a
week I will have him obedient and well broke in."

Dr Middleton wished Jack good-bye, and told him to be a good boy. Jack
did not vouchsafe to answer.  "Never mind, Doctor, he will be more
polished next time you call here, depend upon it."  And the Doctor
departed.

Although Mr Bonnycastle was severe, he was very judicious. Mischief of
all kinds was visited but by slender punishment, such as being kept in
at play hours, etc; and he seldom interfered with the boys for
fighting, although he checked decided oppression.  The great "sine qua
non" with him was attention to their studies.  He soon discovered the
capabilities of his pupils, and he forced them accordingly; but the
idle boy, the bird who "could sing and wouldn't sing," received no
mercy.  The consequence was, that he turned out the cleverest boys,
and his conduct was so uniform and unvarying in its tenor, that if he
was feared when they were under his control, he was invariably liked
by those whom he had instructed, and they continued his friends in
after-life.

Mr Bonnycastle at once perceived that it was no use coaxing our hero,
and that fear was the only attribute by which he could be controlled.
So, as soon as Dr Middleton had quitted the room, he addressed him in
a commanding tone, "Now, boy, what is your name?"

Jack started; he looked up at his master, perceived his eye fixed upon
him, and a countenance not to be played with.  Jack was no fool, and
somehow or another, the discipline he had received from his father had
given him some intimation of what was to come.  All this put together
induced Jack to condescend to answer, with his forefinger between his
teeth, "Johnny."

"And what is your other name, sir?"

Jack, who appeared to repent his condescension, did not at first
answer, but he looked again in Mr Bonnycastle's face, and then round
the room: there was no one to help him, and he could not help himself,
so he replied "Easy."

"Do you know why you are sent to school?"

"Scalding father."

"No; you are sent to learn to read and write."

"But I won't read and write," replied Jack, sulkily.

"Yes, you will; and you are going to read your letters now directly."

Jack made no answer.  Mr Bonnycastle opened a sort of bookcase, and
displayed to John's astonished view a series of canes, ranged up and
down like billiard cues, and continued, "Do you know what those are
for?"

Jack eyed them wistfully; he had some faint idea that he was sure to
be better acquainted with them, but he made no answer.

"They are to teach little boys to read and write, and now I am going
to teach you.  You'll soon learn.  Look now here," continued Mr
Bonnycastle, opening a book with large type, and taking a capital at
the head of a chapter, about half an inch long.  "Do you see that
letter?"

"Yes," replied Johnny, turning his eyes away, and picking his fingers.

"Well, that is the letter B. Do you see it? look at it, so that you
may know it again.  That's the letter B. Now tell me what letter that
is?"

Jack now determined to resist, so he made no answer.

"So you cannot tell; well, then, we will try what one of these little
fellows will do," said Mr Bonnycastle, taking down a cane. "Observe,
Johnny, that's the letter B. Now, what letter is that? Answer me
directly."

"I won't learn to read and write."

Whack came the cane on Johnny's shoulders, who burst out into a roar
as he writhed with pain.

Mr Bonnycastle waited a few seconds.  "That's the letter B. Now tell
me, sir, directly, what that letter is?"

"I'll tell my mar." Whack!  "O law! O law!"

"What letter is that?"

Johnny, with his mouth open, panting, and the tears on his cheeks,
answered, indignantly, "Stop till I tell Sarah."

Whack came the cane again, and a fresh burst from Johnny.

"What letter's that?"

"I won't tell," roared Johnny; "I won't tell--that I won't."

Whack, whack, whack, and a pause.  "I told you before, that's the
letter B. What letter is that?  Tell me directly."

Johnny, by way of reply, made a snatch at the cane.  Whack, he caught
it, certainly, but not exactly as he would have wished.  Johnny then
snatched up the book, and dashed it to the corner of the room.  Whack,
whack.  Johnny attempted to seize Mr Bonnycastle with his teeth.
Whack, whack, whack, whack; and Johnny fell on the carpet, and roared
with pain. Mr Bonnycastle then left him for a little while, to
recover himself, and sat down.

At last Johnny's exclamations settled down in deep sobs, and then Mr
Bonnycastle said to him, "Now, Johnny, you perceive that you must do
as you are bid, or else you will have more beating. Get up
immediately. Do you hear, sir?"

Somehow or another, Johnny, without intending it, stood upon his feet.

"That's a good boy; now you see, by getting up as you were bid, You
have not been beaten.  Now, Johnny, you must go and bring the book
from where you threw it down.  Do you hear, sir? bring it directly!"

Johnny looked at Mr Bonnycastle and the cane.  With every intention to
refuse, Johnny picked up the book and laid it on the table.

"That's a good boy; now we will find the letter B. Here it is: now,
Johnny, tell me what that letter is?"

Johnny made no answer.

"Tell me directly, sir," said Mr Bonnycastle, raising his cane up in
the air.  The appeal was too powerful. Johnny eyed the cane; it moved,
it was coming.  Breathlessly he shrieked out, "B!"

"Very well indeed, Johnny--very well.  Now your first lesson is over,
and you shall go to bed.  You have learned more than you think for.
To-morrow we will begin again.  Now we'll put the cane by."

Mr Bonnycastle rang the bell, and desired Master Johnny to be put to
bed, in a room by himself, and not to give him any supper, as hunger
would, the next morning, much facilitate his studies.  Pain and hunger
alone will tame brutes, and the same remedy must be applied to conquer
those passions in man which assimilate him with brutes.  Johnny was
conducted to bed, although it was but six o'clock. He was not only in
pain, but his ideas were confused; and no wonder, after all his life
having been humoured and indulged never punished until the day before.
After all the caresses of his mother and Sarah, which he never knew
the value of--after stuffing himself all day long, and being tempted
to eat till he turned away in satiety, to find himself without his
mother, without Sarah, without supper covered with wheals, and, what
was worse than all, without his own way.  No wonder Johnny was
confused; at the same time that he was subdued; and, as Mr Bonnycastle
had truly told him, he had learnt more than he had any idea of.  And
what would Mrs Easy have said, had she known all this--and Sarah, too?
And Mr Easy, with his rights of man?  At the very time that Johnny was
having the devil driven out of him, they were consoling themselves
with the idea, that, at all events, there was no birch used at Mr
Bonnycastle's, quite losing sight of the fact, that as there are more
ways of killing a dog besides hanging him, so are there more ways of
teaching than a posteriors. Happy in their ignorance, they all went
fast asleep, little dreaming that Johnny was already so far advanced
in knowledge, as to have a tolerable comprehension of the mystery of
cane.  As for Johnny, he had cried himself to sleep, at least six
hours before them.




CHAPTER VI

In which Jack makes essay of his father's sublime philosophy, and
arrives very near to truth at last.


The next morning Master Jack Easy was not only very sore, but very
hungry, and as Mr Bonnycastle informed him that he would not only have
plenty of cane, but also no breakfast, if he did not learn his
letters, Johnny had wisdom enough to say the whole alphabet, for which
he received a great deal of praise, the which, if he did not duly
appreciate, he at all events infinitely preferred to beating.  Mr
Bonnycastle perceived that he had conquered the boy by one hour's
well-timed severity.  He therefore handed him over to the ushers in
the school, and as they were equally empowered to administer the
needful impulse, Johnny very soon became a very tractable boy.

It may be imagined that the absence of Johnny was severely felt at
home, but such was not the case.  In the first place, Dr Middleton had
pointed out to Mrs Easy that there was no flogging at the school, and
that the punishment received by Johnny from his father would very
likely be repeated--and in the next, although Mrs Easy thought that
she never could have survived the parting with her own son, she soon
found out that she was much happier without him.  A spoilt child is
always a source of anxiety and worry, and after Johnny's departure Mrs
Easy found a quiet and repose much more suited to her disposition.
Gradually she weaned herself from him, and, satisfied with seeing him
occasionally, and hearing the reports of Dr Middleton, she, at last,
was quite reconciled to his being at school, and not coming back
except during the holidays.  John Easy made great progress; he had
good natural abilities, and Mr Easy rubbed his hands when he saw the
Doctor, saying, "Yes, let them have him for a year or two longer, and
then I'll finish him myself." Each vacation he had attempted to instil
into Johnny's mind the equal rights of man.  Johnny appeared to pay
but little attention to his father's discourses, but evidently showed
that they were not altogether thrown away, as he helped himself to
everything he wanted, without asking leave.  And thus was our hero
educated until he arrived at the age of sixteen, when he was a stout,
good-looking boy, with plenty to say for himself,--indeed, when it
suited his purpose, he could out-talk his father.

Nothing pleased Mr Easy so much as Jack's loquacity.  "That's right;
argue the point, Jack--argue the point, boy," would he say, as Jack
disputed with his mother.  And then he would turn to the Doctor,
rubbing his hands, and observe, "Depend upon it, Jack will be a great,
a very great man." And then he would call Jack and give him a guinea
for his cleverness; and at last Jack thought it a very clever thing to
argue.  He never would attempt to argue with Mr Bonnycastle, because
he was aware that Mr Bonnycastle's arguments were too strong for him,
but he argued with all the boys until it ended in a fight, which
decided the point; and he sometimes argued with the ushers.  In short,
at the time we now speak of, which was at the breaking up of the
Midsummer holidays, Jack was as full of argument as he was fond of it.
He would argue the point to the point of a needle, and he would divide
that point into as many as there were days of the year, and argue upon
each.  In short, there was no end to Jack's arguing the point,
although there seldom was point to his argument.

Jack had been fishing in the river, without any success, for a whole
morning, and observed a large pond which had the appearance of being
well stocked--he cleared the park palings, and threw in his line. He
had pulled up several fine fish, when he was accosted by the
proprietor, accompanied by a couple of keepers.

"May I request the pleasure of your name, young gentleman?" said the
proprietor to Jack.

Now Jack was always urbane and polite.

"Certainly, sir; my name is Easy, very much at your service."

"And you appear to me to be taking it very easy," replied the
gentleman.  "Pray, sir, may I enquire whether you are aware that you
are trespassing?"

"The word trespass, my dear sir," replied Jack, "will admit of much
argument, and I will divide it into three heads.  It implies,
according to the conventional meaning, coming without permission upon
the land or property of another.  Now, sir, the question may all be
resolved in the following.  Was not the world made for all? and has
any one, or any portion of its inhabitants, an exclusive right to
claim any part of it, as his property?  If you please, I have laid
down the proposition, and we will now argue the point."

The gentleman who accosted Jack had heard of Mr Easy and his
arguments; he was a humorist, and more inclined to laugh than to be
angry; at the same time that he considered it necessary to show Jack
that under existing circumstances they were not tenable.

"But, Mr Easy, allowing the trespass on the property to be venial,
surely you do not mean to say that you are justified in taking my
fish; I bought the fish, and stocked the pond, and have fed them ever
since.  You cannot deny but that they are private property, and that
to take them is a theft?"

"That will again admit of much ratiocination, my dear sir," replied
Jack; "but,--I beg your pardon, I have a fish." Jack pulled up a large
carp, much to the indignation of the keepers, and to the amusement of
their master, unhooked it, placed it in his basket, renewed his bait
with the greatest sang, and then throwing in his line, resumed his
discourse.  "As I was observing, my dear sir,"  continued Jack, "that
will admit of much ratiocination.  All the creatures of the earth were
given to man for his use--man means mankind--they were never intended
to be made a monopoly of; water is also the gift of heaven, and meant
for the use of all.  We now come to the question how far the fish are
your property.  If the fish only bred on purpose to please you, and
make you a present of their stock, it might then require a different
line of argument; but as in breeding they only acted in obedience to
an instinct with which they are endowed on purpose that they may
supply man, I submit to you that you cannot prove these fish to be
yours more than mine.  As for feeding with the idea that they were
your own, that is not an unusual case in this world, even when a man
is giving bread and butter to his children.  Further--but I have
another bite--I beg your pardon, my dear sir--ah! he's off again."

"Then, Mr Easy, you mean to say that the world and its contents are
made for all."

"Exactly, sir; that is my father's opinion, who is a very great
philosopher."

"How then does your father account for some possessing property and
others being without it?"

"Because those who are the strongest have deprived those who are
weaker."

"But would not that be always the case even if we were in that state
of general inheritance which you have supposed?  For instance,
allowing two men to chase the same animal, and both to come up to it
at the same time, would not the strongest bear it off?"

"I grant that, sir."

"Well, then, where is your equality?"

"That does not disprove that men were not intended to be equal; it
only proves that they are not so.  Neither does it disprove that
everything was not made for the benefit of all; it only proves that
the strong will take advantage of the weak, which is very natural."

"Oh! you grant that to be very natural.  Well, Mr Easy, I am glad to
perceive that we are of one mind, and I trust we shall continue so.
You'll observe that I and my keepers being three, we are the strong
party in this instance, and admitting your argument, that the fish are
as much yours as mine, still I take advantage of my strength to
repossess myself of them, which is, as you say, very natural--James,
take those fish."

"If you please," interrupted Jack, "we will argue that point--"

"Not at all; I will act according to your own arguments--I have the
fish, but I now mean to have more--that fishing-rod is as much mine as
yours, and being the stronger party I will take possession of it.
James, William, take that fishing-rod,--it is ours."

"I presume you will first allow me to observe," replied Jack, "that
although I have expressed my opinion that the earth and the animals on
it were made for us all, that I never yet have asserted, that what a
man creates by himself, or has created for him for a consideration, is
not his own property."

"I beg your pardon; the trees that that rod was made from were made
for us all, and if you, or any one for you, have thought proper to
make it into a rod, it is no more my fault than it is that I have been
feeding the fish, with the supposition that they were my own.
Everything being common, and it being but natural that the strong
should take advantage of the weak, I must take that rod as my
property, until I am dispossessed by one more powerful.  Moreover,
being the stronger party, and having possession of this land, which
you say does not belong to me more than to you--I also shall direct my
keepers to see you off this property.  James, take the rod--see Mr
Easy over the park palings.  Mr Easy, I wish you a good morning."

"Sir, I beg your pardon, you have not yet heard all my arguments,"
replied Jack, who did not approve of the conclusions drawn.

"I have no time to hear more, Mr Easy; I wish you a good morning." And
the proprietor departed, leaving Jack in company with the keepers.

"I'll trouble you for that rod, master," said William. James was very
busy stringing the fish through the gills upon a piece of osier.

"At all events you will hear reason," said Jack: "I have arguments--"
"I never heard no good arguments in favour of poaching," interrupted
the keeper.

"You're an insolent fellow," replied Jack.  "It is by paying such
vagabonds as you that people are able to be guilty of injustice."

"It's by paying us that the land an't poached--and if there be some
excuse for a poor devil who is out of work, there be none for you, who
call yourself a gentleman."

"According to his account, as we be all equal, he be no more a
gentleman than we be."

"Silence, you blackguard, I shall not condescend to argue with such as
you: if I did, I could prove that you are a set of base slaves, who
have just as much right to this property as your master or I have."

"As you have, I dare say, master."

"As I have, you scoundrel; this pond is as much my property, and so
are the fish in it, as they are of your master, who has usurped the
right."

"I say, James, what do you say, shall we put the young gentleman in
possession of his property?" said William, winking to the other.

James took the hint, they seized Jack by the arms and legs, and soused
him into the pond.  Jack arose after a deep submersion, and floundered
on shore blowing and spluttering.  But in the meantime the keepers had
walked away, carrying with them the rod and line, fish, and tin can of
bait, laughing loudly at the practical joke which they had played our
hero.

"Well," thought Jack, "either there must be some mistake in my
father's philosophy, or else this is a very wicked world. I shall
submit this case to my father."

And Jack received this reply--"I have told you before, Jack, that
these important truths will not at present be admitted--but it does
not the less follow that they are true.  This is the age of iron, in
which might has become right--but the time will come when these truths
will be admitted, and your father's name will be more celebrated than
that of any philosopher of ancient days.  Recollect, Jack, that
although in preaching against wrong and advocating the rights of man,
you will be treated as a martyr, it is still your duty to persevere;
and if you are dragged through all the horse--ponds in the kingdom,
never give up your argument."

"That I never will, sir," replied Jack; "but the next time I argue it
shall be, if possible, with power on my side, and, at all events, not
quite so near a pond."

"I think," said Mrs Easy, who had been a silent listener, "that Jack
had better fish in the river, and then, if he catches no fish, at all
events he will not be soused in the water, and spoil his clothes."

But Mrs Easy was no philosopher.

A few days afterwards, Jack discovered, one fine morning, on the other
side of a hedge, a summer apple-tree bearing tempting fruit, and he
immediately broke through the hedge, and climbing the tree, as our
first mother did before him, he culled the fairest and did eat.

"I say, you sir, what are you doing there?" cried a rough voice.

Jack looked down, and perceived a stout, thickset personage in grey
coat and red waistcoat, standing underneath him.

"Don't you see what I'm about," replied Jack, "I'm eating apples--
shall I throw you down a few?"

"Thank you kindly--the fewer that are pulled the better; perhaps, as
you are so free to give them to others as well as to help yourself,
you may think that they are your own property!"

"Not a bit more my property than they are yours, my good man."

"I guess that's something like the truth; but you are, not quite at
the truth yet, my lad; those apples are mine, and I'll trouble you to
come down as fast as you please; when you're down we can then settle
our accounts; and," continued the man, shaking his cudgel, "depend
upon it you shall have your receipt in full."

Jack did not much like the appearance of things.

"My good man," said he, "it is quite a prejudice on your part to
imagine that apples were not given, as well as all other fruit, for
the benefit of us all--they are common property, believe me."

"That's a matter of opinion, my lad, and I may be allowed to have own."

"You'll find it in the Bible," says Jack.

"I never did yet, and I've read it through and through all, bating the
Pocryfar."

"Then," said Jack, "go home and fetch the Bible, and I'll prove it to
you."

"I suspect you'll not wait till I come back again.  No, no; I have
lost plenty of apples, and have long wanted to find the robbers out;
now I've caught one I'll take care that he don't 'scape without apple
sauce, at all events--so come down, you young thief, come down
directly--or it will be all the worse for you."

"Thank you," said Jack, "but I am very well here. I will, if you
please, argue the point from where I am."

"I've no time to argue the point, my lad; I've plenty to do, but do
not think I'll let you off.  If you don't choose to come down, why
then you may stay there, and I'll answer for it, as soon as work is
done I shall find you safe enough."

"What can be done," thought Jack, "with a man who will not listen to
argument?  What a world is this!--however, he'll not find me here when
he comes back, I've a notion."

But in this Jack was mistaken.  The farmer walked to the hedge, and
called to a boy, who took his orders and ran to the farmhouse. In a
minute or two a large bull-dog was seen bounding along the orchard to
his master.  "Mark him, Caesar," said the farmer to the dog, "mark
him." The dog crouched down on the grass with his head up, and eyes
glaring at Jack, showing a range of teeth that drove all our hero's
philosophy out of his head.

"I can't wait here, but Caesar can, and I will tell you, as a friend,
that if he gets hold of you, he'll not leave a limb of you together,--
when work's done I'll come back"; so saying, the farmer walked off,
leaving Jack and the dog to argue the point, if so inclined.  What a
sad jade must philosophy be, to put her votaries in such predicaments!

After a while the dog laid his head down and closed his eyes, as if
asleep, but Jack observed that at the least movement on his part one
eye was seen partially to unclose; so Jack, like a prudent man,
resolved to remain where he was.  He picked a few more apples, for it
was his dinner-time, and as he chewed he ruminated.

Jack had been but a few minutes ruminating before he was interrupted
by another ruminating animal, no less a personage than a bull, who had
been turned out with full possession of the orchard, and who now
advanced, bellowing occasionally, and tossing his head at the sight of
Caesar, whom he considered as much a trespasser as his master had our
hero.  Caesar started on his legs and faced the bull, who advanced
pawing, with his tail up in the air.  When within a few yards the bull
made a rush at the dog, who evaded him and attacked him in return, and
thus did the warfare continue until the opponents were already at some
distance from the apple-tree.  Jack prepared for immediate flight, but
unfortunately the combat was carried on by the side of the hedge at
which Jack had gained admission.  Never mind, thought Jack, there are
two sides to every field and although the other hedge joined on to the
garden near to the farmhouse, there was no option.  "At all events,"
said Jack, "I'll try it."

Jack was slipping down the trunk, when he heard a tremendous roar; the
bull-dog had been tossed by the bull; he was then high in the air, and
Jack saw him fall on the other side of the hedge; and the bull was
thus celebrating his victory with a flourish of trumpets.  Upon which
Jack, perceiving that he was relieved from his sentry, slipped down
the rest of the tree and took to his heels.  Unfortunately for Jack,
the bull saw him, and, flushed with victory, he immediately set up
another roar, and bounded after Jack. Jack perceived his danger, and
fear gave him wings; he not only flew over the orchard, but he flew
over the hedge, which was about five feet high, just as the bull drove
his head into it.

Look before you leap, is an old proverb.  Had Jack done so, he would
have done better; but as there were cogent reasons to be offered in
extenuation of our philosopher, we shall say no more, but merely state
that Jack, when he got to the other side of the hedge, found that he
had pitched into a small apiary, and had upset two hives of bees who
resented the intrusion; and Jack had hardly time to get upon his legs
before he found them very busy stinging him in all quarters.  All that
Jack could do was to run for it, but the bees flew faster than he
could run, and Jack was mad with pain, when he stumbled, half-blinded,
over the brickwork of a well.  Jack could not stop his pitching into
the well, but he seized the iron chain as it struck him across the
face. Down went Jack, and round went the windlass, and after a rapid
descent of forty feet our hero found himself under water, and no
longer troubled with the bees, who, whether they had lost scent of
their prey from his rapid descent, or being notoriously clever
insects, acknowledged the truth of the adage, "leave well alone," had
certainly left Jack with no other companion than Truth.
Jack rose from his immersion, and seized the rope to which the chain
of the bucket was made fast--it had all of it been unwound from the
windlass, and therefore it enabled Jack to keep his head above water.
After a few seconds Jack felt something against his legs, it was the
bucket, about two feet under the water; Jack put his feet into it and
found himself pretty comfortable, for the water, after the sting of
the bees and the heat he had been put into by the race with the bull,
was quite cool and refreshing.

"At all events," thought Jack, "if it had not been for the bull, I
should have been watched by the dog, and then thrashed by the farmer;
but then again, if it had not been for the bull, I should not have
tumbled among the bees; and if it had not been for the bees, I should
not have tumbled into the well; and if it had not been for the chain,
I should have been drowned.  Such has been the chain of events, all
because I wanted to eat an apple.

"However, I have got rid of the farmer, and the dog, and the bull, and
the bees--all's well that ends well; but how the devil am I to get out
of the well?--all creation appears to have conspired against the
rights of man.  As my father said, this is an iron age, and here I am
swinging to an iron chain."

We have given the whole of Jack's soliloquy, as it will prove that
Jack was no fool, although he was a bit of a philosopher; and a man
who could reason so well upon cause ant effect, at the bottom of a
well, up to his neck in water, showed a good deal of presence of mind.
But if Jack's mind had been a little twisted by his father's
philosophy, it had  still sufficient strength and elasticity to
recover itself in due time.  Had Jack been a common personage, we
should never, have selected him for our hero.




CHAPTER VII

In which Jack makes some very sage reflections, and comes to a very
unwise decision.


After all, it must be acknowledged that although there are cases of
distress in which a well may become a place of refuge, a well is not
at all calculated for a prolonged residence--so thought Jack.  After
he had been there some fifteen minutes, his teeth chattered, and his
limbs trembled; he felt a numbness all over, and he thought it high
time to call for assistance, which at first he would not, as he was
afraid he should be pulled up to encounter the indignation of the
farmer and his family.  Jack was arranging his jaws for a halloo, when
he felt the chain pulled up, and he slowly emerged from the water.  At
first he heard complaints of the weight of the bucket, at which Jack
was not surprised; then he heard a tittering and laughing between two
parties; and soon afterwards he mounted up gaily.  At last his head
appeared above the low wall, and he was about to extend his arms so as
to secure a position on it, when those who were working at the
windlass beheld him.  It was a heavy farming man and a maid-servant.

"Thank you," said Jack.

One never should be too quick in returning thanks; the girl screamed
and let go the winch, the man, frightened, did not hold it fast; it
slipped from his grasp, whirled round, struck him under the chin, and
threw him over it headlong, and before the "Thank you" was fairly out
of Jack's lips, down he went again like lightning to the bottom.
Fortunately for Jack, he had not yet let go the chain, or he might
have struck the sides and have been killed; as it was, he was merely
soused a second time, and in a minute or two regained his former
position.

"This is mighty pleasant," thought Jack, as he clapped his wet hat
once more on his head; "at all events, they can't now plead ignorance,
they must know that I'm here."

In the meantime the girl ran into the kitchen, threw herself down on a
stool, from which she reeled off in a fit upon sundry heaps of dough
waiting to be baked in the oven, which were laid to rise on the floor
before the fire.

"Mercy on me, what is the matter with Susan?" exclaimed the farmer's
wife.  "Here--where's Mary--where's John--Deary me, if the bread won't
all be turned to pancakes."

John soon followed, holding his under-jaw in his hand, looking very
dismal and very frightened, for two reasons; one, because he thought
that his jaw was broken, and the other, because he thought he had seen
the devil.

"Mercy on us, what is the matter?" exclaimed the farmer's wife again.
"Mary, Mary, Mary!" screamed she, beginning to be frightened herself,
for with all her efforts she could not remove Susan from the bed of
dough, where she lay senseless and heavy as lead. Mary answered to her
mistress's loud appeal, and with her assistance they raised up Susan;
but as for the bread, there was no hopes of it ever rising again. "Why
don't you come here and help Susan, John?" cried Mary.

"Aw-yaw-aw!" was all the reply of John, who had had enough quite of
helping Susan, and who continued to hold his head, as it were, in his
hand.

"What's the matter here, missus?" exclaimed the farmer, coming in.
"Highty-tighty, what ails Susan? and what ails you?" continued the
farmer, turning to John.  "Dang it, but everything seems to go wrong,
this blessed day.  First, there be all the apples stolen--then there
be all the hives turned topsy-turvy in the garden--then there be
Caesar with his flank opened by the bull--then there be the bull
broken through the hedge and tumbled into the saw-pit--and now I come
to get more help to drag him out, I find one woman dead like, and John
looks as if he had seen the devil."

"Aw-yaw-aw!" replied John, nodding his head very significantly.

"One would think that the devil had broke loose to-day.  What is it,
John?  Have you seen him, and has Susan seen him?"

"Aw-yaw."

"He's stopped your jaw, then, at all events, and I thought the devil
himself wouldn't have done that-we shall get nothing of you. Is that
wench coming to her senses?"

"Yes, yes, she's better now,--Susan, what's the matter?"

"Oh, oh, ma'am! the well, the well--"

"The well!  Something wrong there, I suppose: well, I will go and
see."

The farmer trotted off to the well; he perceived the bucket was at the
bottom and all the rope out; he looked about him, and then he looked
into the well.  Jack, who had become very impatient, had been looking
up some time for the assistance which he expected would have come
sooner; the round face of the farmer occasioned a partial eclipse of
the round disk which bounded his view, just as one of the satellites
of Jupiter sometimes obscures the face of the planet round which he
revolves.

"Here I am," cried Jack; "get me up quick, or I shall be dead"; and
What Jack said was true, for he was quite done up by having been so
long down, although his courage had not failed him.

"Dang it, but there be somebody fallen into the well," cried the
farmer; "no end to mishaps this day.  Well, we must get a Christian
out of a well afore we get a bull out of a saw-pit, so I'll go and
call the men."

In a very short time the men who were assembled round the saw-pit were
brought to the well.

"Down below there, hold on now."

"Never fear," cried Jack.

Away went the winch, and once more Jack had an extended horizon to
survey.  As soon as he was at the top, the men hauled him over the
bricks and laid him down upon the ground, for Jack's strength had
failed him.

"Dang it, if it bean't that chap who was on my apple-tree," cried the
farmer--"howsoever, he must not die for stealing a few apples; lift
him up, lads, and take him in--he is dead with cold--no wonder."

The farmer led the way, and the men carried Jack into the house, when
the farmer gave him a glass of brandy; this restored Jack's
circulation, and in a short time he was all right again.

After some previous conversation, in which Jack narrated all that had
happened, "What may be your name?" inquired the farmer.

"My name is Easy," replied Jack.

"What! be you the son of Mr Easy, of Forest Hill?"

"Yes."

"Dang it, he be my landlord, and a right good landlord too--why didn't
you say so when you were up in the apple-tree?  You might have picked
the whole orchard and welcome."

"My dear sir," replied Jack, who had taken a second glass of brandy,
and was quite talkative again, "let this be a warning to you, and when
a man proposes to argue the point, always, in future, listen. Had you
waited, I would have proved to you most incontestably that you had no
more right to the apples than I had; but you would not listen to
argument, and without discussion we can never arrive at truth.  You
send for your dog, who is ripped up by the bull--the bull breaks his
leg in a saw-pit--the bee-hives are overturned, and you lose all your
honey--your man John breaks his jaw--your maid Susan spoils all the
bread--and why? because you would not allow me to argue the point."

"Well, Mr Easy, it be all true that all these mishaps have happened
because I would not allow you to argue the point, perhaps, although,
as I rent the orchard from your father, I cannot imagine how you could
prove to me that the apples were not mine; but now, let's take your
side of the question, and I don't see how you be much better off: you
get up in a tree for a few apples, with plenty of money to buy them if
you like--you are kept there by a dog--you are nearly gored by a
bull--you are stung by the bees, and you tumble souse into a well,
and are nearly killed a dozen times, and all for a few apples not
worth twopence."

"All very true, my good man," replied Jack; "but you forget that I, as
a philosopher, was defending the rights of man."

"Well, I never knew before that a lad who stole apples was called a
philosopher--we calls it petty larceny in the indictments: and as for
your rights of man, I cannot see how they can be defended by doing
what's wrong."

"You do not comprehend the matter, farmer."

"No, I don't--and I be too old to learn, Master Easy.  All I have to
say is this, you are welcome to all the apples in the orchard if you
please, and if you prefers, as it seems you do, to steal them, instead
of asking for them, which I only can account for by the reason that
they say, that 'stolen fruit be sweetest,' I've only to say that I
shall give orders that you be not interfered with.  My chaise be at
the door, Master Easy, and the man will drive you to your father's--
make my compliments to him, and say, that I'm very sorry that you
tumbled into our well."

As Jack was much more inclined for bed than argument, he wished the
farmer good-night, and allowed himself to be driven home. The pain
from the sting of the bees, now that his circulation had fully
returned, was so great, that he was not sorry to find Dr Middleton
taking his tea with his father and mother.  Jack merely said that he
had been so unfortunate as to upset a hive, and had been severely
stung.  He deferred the whole story till another opportunity. Dr
Middleton prescribed for Jack, but on taking his hand found that he
was in a high fever, which, after the events of the day, was not to be
wondered at.  Jack was bled, and kept his bed for a week, by which
time he was restored; but, during that time, Jack had been thinking
very seriously, and had made up his mind.

But we must explain a circumstance which had occurred, which was
probably the cause of Jack's decision.  When Jack returned on the
evening in question, he found seated with his father and Dr Middleton
a Captain Wilson, a sort of cousin to the family, who but occasionally
paid them a visit, for he lived at some distance; and having a wife
and large family, with nothing but his half-pay for their support, he
could not afford to expend even shoe-leather in compliments.  The
object of this visit on the part of Captain Wilson was to request the
aid of Mr Easy He had succeeded in obtaining his appointment to a
sloop of war (for he was in the king's service), but was without the
means of fitting himself out, without leaving his wife and family
penniless.  He therefore came to request Mr Easy to lend him a few
hundred pounds, until he should be able, by his prize-money, to repay
them.  Mr Easy was not a man to refuse such a request, and always
having plenty of spare cash at his banker's, he drew a cheque for a
thousand pounds, which he gave to Captain Wilson, requesting that he
would only repay it at his convenience. Captain Wilson wrote an
acknowledgment of the debt, promising to pay upon his first
prize-money, which receipt, however binding it may be to a man of
honour, was, in point of law, about as valuable as if he had agreed to
pay as soon "as the cows came home." The affair had been just
concluded, and Captain Wilson had returned into the parlour with Mr
Easy, when Jack returned from his expedition.

Jack greeted Captain Wilson, whom he had long known; but, as we before
observed, he suffered so much pain, that he soon retired with Dr
Middleton, and went to bed.

During a week there is room for much reflection, even in a lad of
fourteen, although at that age we are not much inclined to think. But
Jack was in bed; his eyes were so swollen with the stings of the bees
that he could neither read nor otherwise amuse himself; and he
preferred his own thoughts to the gabble of Sarah, who attended him;
so Jack thought, and the result of his cogitations we shall soon bring
forward.

It was on the eighth day that Jack left his bed and came down into the
drawing-room.  He then detailed to his father the adventures which had
taken place, which had obliged him to take to his bed.

"You see, Jack," replied his father, "it's just what I told you: the
world is so utterly demoralised by what is called social compact, and
the phalanx supporting it, by contributing a portion of their unjust
possessions for the security of the remainder, is so powerful, that
any one who opposes it must expect to pass the life of a martyr; but
martyrs are always required previous to any truth, however sublime,
being received, and, like Abraham, whom I have always considered as a
great philosopher, I am willing to sacrifice my only son in so noble a
cause."

"That's all very good on your part, father, but we must argue the
point a little.  If you are as great a philosopher as Abraham, I am
not quite so dutiful a son as Isaac, whose blind obedience, in my
opinion, is very contrary to your rights of man: but the fact, in few
words, is simply this.  In promulgating your philosophy, in the short
space of two days, I have been robbed of the fish I caught, and my rod
and line--I have been soused into a fish-pond--I have been frightened
out of my wits by a bull-dog--been nearly killed by a bull--been stung
to death by bees, and twice tumbled into a well.  Now, if all that
happens in two days, what must I expect to suffer in a whole year?  It
appears to be very unwise to attempt making further converts, for
people on shore seem determined not to listen to reason or argument.
But it has occurred to me, that although the whole earth has been so
nefariously divided among the few, that the waters at least are the
property of all.  No man claims his share of the sea--every one may
there plough as he pleases, without being taken up for a trespasser.
Even war makes no difference; every one may go on as he pleases, and
if they meet, it is nothing but a neutral ground on which the parties
contend.  It is, then, only upon the ocean that I am likely to find
that equality and rights of man, which we are so anxious to establish
on shore; and therefore I have resolved not to go to school again,
which I detest, but to go to sea, and propagate our opinions as much
as I can."

"I cannot listen to that, Jack, in the first place, you must return to
school; in the next place, you shall not go to sea."

"Then, father, all I have to say is, that I swear by the rights of man
I will not go back to school, and that I will go to sea.  Who and what
is to prevent me?  Was not I born my own master?--has any one a right
to dictate to me as if I were not his equal?  Have I not as much right
to my share of the sea as any other mortal?  I stand upon perfect
equality," continued Jack, stamping his right foot on the floor.

What had Mr Easy to offer in reply?  He must either, as a philosopher,
have sacrificed his hypothesis, or, as a father, have sacrificed his
son.  Like all philosophers, he preferred what he considered as the
less important of the two, he sacrificed his son; but--we will do him
justice--he did it with a sigh.

"Jack, you shall, if you wish it, go to sea."

"That, of course," replied Jack, with the air of a conqueror; "but the
question is, with whom?  Now it has occurred to me, that Captain
Wilson has just been appointed to a ship, and I should like to sail
with him."

"I will write to him," said Mr Easy, mournfully, "but I should have
liked to have felt his head first"; and thus was the matter arranged.

The answer from Captain Wilson was, of course, in the affirmative, and
he promised that he would treat Jack as his own son.

Our hero mounted his father's horse, and rode off to Mr Bonnycastle.

"I am going to sea, Mr Bonnycastle."

"The very best thing for you," replied Mr Bonnycastle.

Our hero met Dr Middleton. "I am going to sea, Dr Middleton."

"The very best thing for you," replied the Doctor. "I am going to sea,
mother," said John. "To sea, John, to sea? no, no, dear John, you are
not going to sea," replied Mrs Easy, with horror.

"Yes, I am; father has agreed, and says he will obtain your consent."

"My consent!  Oh, my dear, dear boy!"--and Mrs Easy wept bitterly, as
Rachel mourning for her children.




CHAPTER VIII

In which Mr Easy has his first lesson as to zeal in his Majesty's
Service.


As there was no time to lose, our hero very soon bade adieu to his
paternal roof, as the phrase is, and found his way down to Portsmouth.
As Jack had plenty of money, and was very much pleased at finding
himself his own master, he was in no hurry to join his ship, and five
or six companions, not very creditable, whom either Jack had picked
up, or had picked up Jack, and who lived upon him, strongly advised
him to put it off until the very last moment.  As this advice happened
to coincide with Jack's opinion, our hero was three weeks at
Portsmouth before any one knew of his arrival, but at last Captain
Wilson received a letter from Mr Easy, by which he found that Jack had
left home at the period we have mentioned, and he desired the first
lieutenant to make inquiries, as he was afraid that some accident
might have happened to him.  As Mr Sawbridge, the first lieutenant,
happened to be going on shore on the same evening for the last time
previous to the ship's sailing, he looked into the Blue Posts, George,
and Fountain Inns, to inquire if there was such a person arrived as Mr
Easy.  "O yes," replied the waiter at the Fountain,--"Mr Easy has been
here these three weeks."

"The devil he has," roared Mr Sawbridge, with all the indignation of a
first lieutenant defrauded three weeks of a midshipman; "where is he;
in the coffee-room?"

"Oh dear no, sir," replied the waiter, "Mr Easy has the front
apartments on the first floor."

"Well, then, show me up to the first floor."

"May I request the pleasure of your name, sir?" said the waiter.

"First lieutenants don't send up their names to midshipmen," replied
Mr Sawbridge; "he shall soon know who I am."

At this reply, the waiter walked upstairs, followed by Mr Sawbridge,
and threw open the door.

"A gentleman wishes to see you, sir," said the waiter.

"Desire him to walk in," said Jack: "and, waiter, mind that the punch
is a little better than it was yesterday; I have asked two more
gentlemen to dine here."

In the meantime, Mr Sawbridge, who was not in his uniform, had
entered, and perceived Jack alone, with the dinner table laid out in
the best style for eight, a considerable show of plate for even the
Fountain Inn, and everything, as well as the apartment itself,
according to Mr Sawbridge's opinion, much more fit for a
commander-in-chief than a midshipman of a sloop of war.

Now Mr Sawbridge was a good officer, one who had really worked his way
up to the present rank, that is to say, that he had served
seven-and-twenty years, and had nothing but his pay.  He was a little
soured in the service, and certainly had an aversion to the young men
of family who were now fast crowding into it--and with some grounds,
as he perceived his own chance of promotion decrease in the same ratio
as the numbers increased. He considered that in proportion as
midshipmen assumed a cleaner and more gentlemanly appearance, so did
they become more useless, and it may therefore be easily imagined that
his bile was raised by this parade and display in a lad, who was very
shortly to be, and ought three weeks before to have been, shrinking
from his frown.  Nevertheless, Sawbridge was a good-hearted man,
although a little envious of luxury, which he could not pretend to
indulge in himself.

"May I beg to ask," said Jack, who was always remarkably polite and
gentlemanly in his address, "in what manner I may be of service to
you?"

"Yes, sir, you may--by joining your ship immediately.  And may I beg
to ask in return, sir, what is the reason you have stayed on shore
three weeks without joining her?"

Hereupon Jack, who did not much admire the peremptory tone of Mr
Sawbridge, and who during the answer had taken a seat, crossed his
legs, and played with the gold chain to which his watch was secured,
after a pause very coolly replied--

"And pray, who are you?"

"Who am I, sir?" replied Sawbridge, jumping out of his chair, "my name
is Sawbridge, sir, and I am the first lieutenant of the Harpy. Now,
sir, you have your answer."

Mr Sawbridge, who imagined that the name of the first lieutenant would
strike terror to a culprit midshipman, threw himself back in the
chair, and assumed an air of importance.

"Really, sir," replied Jack, "what may be your exact situation on
board, my ignorance of the service will not allow me to guess, but if
I may judge from your behaviour, you have no small opinion of
yourself."

"Look ye, young man, you may not know what a first lieutenant is, and
I take it for granted that you do not, by your behaviour; but depend
upon it, I'll let you know very soon.  In the meantime, sir, I insist
upon it, that you go immediately on board."

"I'm sorry that I cannot comply with your very moderate request,"
replied Jack, coolly.  "I shall go on board when it suits my
convenience, and I beg that you will give yourself no further trouble
on my account."

Jack then rang the bell; the waiter, who had been listening outside,
immediately entered, and before Mr Sawbridge, who was dumb with
astonishment at Jack's impertinence, could have time to reply--

"Waiter," said Jack, "show this gentleman downstairs."

"By the god of war!" exclaimed the first lieutenant, "but I'll soon
show you down to the boat, my young bantam; and when once I get you
safe on board, I'll make you know the difference between a midshipman
and a first lieutenant."

"I can only admit of equality, sir," replied Jack; "we are all born
equal--I trust you'll allow that."

"Equality--damn it, I suppose you'll take the command of the ship.
However, sir, your ignorance will be a little enlightened by-and-bye.
I shall now go and report your conduct to Captain Wilson; and I tell
you plainly, that if you are not on board this evening, to-morrow
morning, at daylight, I shall send a sergeant and a file of marines to
fetch you."

"You may depend upon it, sir," replied Jack, "that I also shall not
fail to mention to Captain Wilson, that I consider you a very
quarrelsome, impertinent fellow, and recommend him not to allow you to
remain on board.  It will be quite uncomfortable to be in the same
ship with such an ungentlemanly bear."

"He must be mad--quite mad," exclaimed Sawbridge, whose astonishment
even mastered his indignation.  "Mad as a march hare--by God."

"No, sir," replied Jack, "I am not mad, but I am a philosopher."

"A what?" exclaimed Sawbridge, "damme, what next?--well, my joker, all
the better for you, I shall put your philosophy to the proof."

"It is for that very reason, sir," replied Jack, "that I have decided
upon going to sea; and if you do remain on board, I hope to argue the
point with you, and make you a convert to the truth of equality and
the rights of man."

"By the Lord that made us both, I'll soon make you a convert to the
thirty-six articles of war--that is, if you remain on board; but I
shall now go to the captain, and report your conduct, sir, and leave
you to your dinner with what appetite you may."

"Sir, I am infinitely obliged to you; but you need not be afraid of my
appetite; I am only sorry, as you happen to belong to the same ship,
that I cannot, in justice to the gentlemanly young men whom I expect,
ask you to join them. I wish you a very good morning, sir."

"Twenty years have I been in the service," roared Sawbridge, "and
damme--but he's mad--downright, stark, staring mad," and the first
lieutenant bounced out of the room.

Jack was a little astonished himself.  Had Mr Sawbridge made his
appearance in uniform it might have been different; but that a
plain-looking man, with black whiskers, shaggy hair, and old blue
frock coat and yellow cassimere waistcoat, should venture to address
him in such a manner, was quite incomprehensible;--he calls me mad,
thought Jack, I shall tell Captain Wilson what is my opinion about his
lieutenant. Shortly afterwards the company arrived, and Jack soon
forgot all about it.

In the meantime Sawbridge called at the captain's lodgings, and found
him at home.  He made a very faithful report of all that had happened,
and concluded his report by demanding, in great wrath, either an
instant dismissal or a court-martial on our hero, Jack.

"Stop, Sawbridge," replied Captain Wilson, "take a chair: as Mr Easy
says, we must argue the point, and then I will leave it to your better
feelings.  As for the court-martial, it will not hold good, for Mr
Easy, in the first place, has not yet joined the ship, and in the next
place, could not be supposed to know that you were the first
lieutenant, or even an officer, for you went to him out of uniform."

"Very true, sir," replied Sawbridge, "I had forgotten that."

"Then, as for his dismissal, or rather, not allowing him to join, Mr
Easy has been brought up in the country, and has never seen anything
aquatic larger than a fish-pond, perhaps, in his life; and as for the
service, or the nature of it, I believe he is as ignorant of it as a
child not a year old--I doubt whether he knows the rank of a
lieutenant, certainly, he can have no idea of the power of a first
lieutenant, by his treatment of you."

"I should think not," replied Sawbridge, dryly.

"I do not think, therefore, that conduct which must have proceeded
from sheer ignorance should be so severely punished--I appeal to you,
Sawbridge."

"Well, sir, perhaps you are right--but still he told me he was a
philosopher, and talked about equality and rights of man.  Told me
that he could only admit of equality between us, and begged to argue
the point.  Now, sir, if a midshipman is to argue the point every time
that an order is given, the service will come to a pretty pass."

"That is all very true, Sawbridge; and now you remind me of what never
occurred to me at the time that I promised to take Mr Easy in the
ship. I now recollect that his father, who is a distant relation of
mine, has some very wild notions in his head, just like what have been
repeated by his son on your interview with him.  I have occasionally
dined there, and Mr Easy has always been upholding the principles of
natural equality and of the rights of man, much to the amusement of
his guests, and I confess, at the time, of mine also. I recollect
telling him that I trusted he would never be able to disseminate his
opinions in the service to which I belonged, as we should have an end
of all discipline.  I little thought, at the time, that his only son,
who has no more occasion to go to sea than the Archbishop of
Canterbury, for his father has a very handsome property I believe
seven or eight thousand a year--would ever have sailed with me, and
have brought these opinions with him into any ship that I commanded.
It is a pity, a great pity."

"He never could have brought his pigs to a worse market," observed
Sawbridge.

"I agree with you, and, as a father myself, I cannot but help feeling
how careful we should be, how we inculcate anything like abstract and
philosophical ideas to youth.  Allowing them to be in themselves
correct, still they are dangerous as sharp instruments are in the
hands of a child;--allowing them to be erroneous, they are seized upon
with an avidity by young and ardent minds, and are not to be
eradicated without the greatest difficulty, and very often not until
they have accomplished their ruin."

"Then you think, sir, that these ideas have taken deep root in this
young man, and we shall not easily rid him of them?"

"I do not say so; but still, recollect they have been instilled,
perhaps, from the earliest period, by one from whom they must have
been received with all confidence--from a father to a son; and that
son has never yet been sufficiently in the world to have proved their
fallacy."

"Well, sir," replied Sawbridge, "if I may venture to offer an opinion
on the subject--and in so doing I assure you that I only shall from a
feeling for the service--if, as you say, these opinions will not
easily be Eradicated, as the young man is independent, would it not be
both better for himself, as well as for the service, that he is sent
home again?  As an officer he will never do any good for himself, and
he may do much harm to others. I submit this to you, Captain Wilson,
with all respect; but as your first lieutenant, I feel very jealous at
any chance of the discipline of the ship being interfered with by the
introduction of this young man, to whom it appears that a profession
is no object."

"My dear Sawbridge," replied Captain Wilson, after taking one or two
turns up and down the room, "we entered the service together, we were
messmates for many years, and you must be aware that it is not only
long friendship, but an intimate knowledge of your unrewarded merit,
which has induced me to request you to come with me as my first
lieutenant.  Now, I will put a case to you, and you shall then decide
the question--and moreover, I will abide by your decision.

"Suppose that you were a commander like myself, with a wife and seven
children, and that, struggling for many years to support them, you
found yourself, notwithstanding the utmost parsimony, gradually
running into debt.  That, after many long applications, you had at
last succeeded in obtaining employment by an appointment to a fine
sloop, and there was every prospect, by prize-money and increased pay,
of recovering yourself from your difficulties, if not realising a
sufficient provision for your family.  Then suppose that all this
prospect and all these hopes were likely to be dashed to the ground by
the fact of having no means of fitting yourself out, no credit, no
means of paying debts you have contracted, for which you would have
been arrested, or anything sufficient to leave for the support of your
family during your absence, your agent only consenting to advance
one-half of what you require.  Now, suppose, in this awkward dilemma,
without anyone in this world upon whom you have any legitimate claim,
as a last resource you were to apply to one with whom you have but a
distant connection, and but an occasional acquaintance--and that when
you had made your request for the loan of two or three hundred pounds,
fully anticipating a refusal (from the feeling that he who goes
a-borrowing goes a-sorrowing),--I say, suppose, to your astonishment,
that this generous person was to present you with a cheque on his
banker for one thousand pounds, demanding no interest, no legal
security, and requests you only to pay it at your convenience,--I ask
you, Sawbridge, what would be your feelings towards such a man?"

"I would die for him," replied Sawbridge, with emotion.

"And suppose that, by the merest chance, or from a whim of the moment,
the son of that man was to be placed under your protection?"

"I would be a father to him," replied Sawbridge.

"But we must proceed a little further: suppose that you were to find
the lad was not all that you could wish--that he had imbibed erroneous
doctrines, which would probably, if not eradicated, be attended with
consequences fatal to his welfare and happiness, would you therefore,
on that account, withdraw your protection, and leave him to the mercy
of others, who had no claims of gratitude to sway them in his favour?"

"Most certainly not, sir," replied Sawbridge; "on the contrary, I
would never part with the son until, by precept or otherwise, I had
set him right again, and thus had, as far as it was possible, paid the
debt of gratitude due to the generous father."

"I hardly need say to you, Sawbridge, after what has passed, that this
lad you have just come from, is the son, and that Mr Easy of Forest
Hill is the father."

"Then, sir, I can only say, that not only to please you, but also from
respect to a man who has shown such good-will towards one of our cloth,
I shall most cheerfully forgive all that has passed between the lad
and me, and all that may probably take place before we make him what
he ought to be."

"Thank you, Sawbridge; I expected as much, and am not disappointed in
my opinion of you."

"And now, Captain Wilson, pray what is to be done?"

"We must get him on board, but not with a file of marines,--that will
do more harm than good. I will send a note, requesting him to
breakfast with me to-morrow morning, and have a little conversation
with him.  I do not wish to frighten him; he would not scruple to run
back to Forest Hill--now I wish to keep him if I possibly can."

"You are right, sir; his father appears his greatest enemy. What a
pity that a man with so good a heart should be so weak in the head!
Then, sir, I shall take no notice of this at present, but leave the
whole affair in your hands."

"Do, Sawbridge; you have obliged me very much by your kindness in this
business."

Mr Sawbridge then took his leave, and Captain Wilson despatched a note
to our hero, requesting the pleasure of his company to breakfast at
nine o'clock the ensuing morning.  The answer was in the affirmative,
but verbal, for Jack had drunk too much champagne to trust his pen to
paper.




CHAPTER IX

In which Mr Easy finds himself on the other side of the Bay of Biscay.


The next morning Jack Easy would have forgotten all about his
engagement with the captain, had it not been for the waiter, who
thought that, after the reception which our hero had given the first
lieutenant, it would be just as well that he should not be
disrespectful to the captain.  Now Jack had not, hitherto, put on his
uniform, and he thought this a fitting occasion, particularly as the
waiter suggested the propriety of his appearance in it.  Whether it
was from a presentiment of what he was to suffer, Jack was not at all
pleased, as most lads are, with the change in his dress.  It appeared
to him that he was sacrificing his independence; however, he did not
follow his first impulse, which was to take it off again, but took his
hat, which the waiter had brushed and handed to him, and then set off
for the captain's lodgings.  Captain Wilson received him as if he had
not been aware of his delay in joining his ship, or his interview with
his first lieutenant, but before breakfast was over, Jack himself
narrated the affair in a few words.  Captain Wilson then entered into
a detail of the duties and rank of every person on board of the ship,
pointing out to Jack, that where discipline was required, it was
impossible, when duty was carried on, that more than one could
command; and that that one was the captain, who represented the king
in person, who represented the country; and that, as the orders were
transmitted from the captain through the lieutenant, and from the
lieutenant to the midshipmen, who, in their turn, communicated them to
the whole ship's company, in fact, it was the captain alone who gave
the orders, and that everyone was equally obliged to obey. Indeed, as
the captain himself had to obey the orders of his superiors, the
Admiral and the Admiralty; all on board might be said to be equally
obliged to obey.  Captain Wilson laid a strong emphasis on the word
equally, as he cautiously administered his first dose; indeed, in the
whole of his address, he made use of special pleading, which would
have done credit to the bar; for at the same time that he was
explaining to Jack that he was entering a service in which equality
could never for a moment exist, if the service was to exist, he
contrived to show that all the grades were levelled, by all being
equally bound to do their duty to their country, and that, in fact,
whether a seaman obeyed his orders, or he obeyed the orders of his
superior officer, they were in reality only obeying the orders of the
country, which were administered through their channels.

Jack did not altogether dislike this view of the subject, and the
captain took care not to dwell too long upon it.  He then entered upon
other details, which he was aware would be more agreeable to Jack. He
pointed out that the articles of war were the rules by which the
service was to be guided, and that everybody, from the captain to the
least boy in the ship, was equally bound to adhere to them that a
certain allowance of provisions and wine were allowed to each person
on board, and that this allowance was the same to all; the same to the
captain as to the boy; the same in quantity as in quality; everyone
equally entitled to his allowance;--that, although there were, of
necessity, various grades necessary in the service, and the captain's
orders were obliged to be passed and obeyed by all, yet still,
whatever was the grade of the officer, they were equally considered as
gentlemen.  In short, Captain Wilson, who told the truth, and nothing
but the truth, Without telling the whole truth, actually made Jack
fancy that he had at last found out that equality he had been seeking
for in vain on shore, when, at last, he recollected the language used
by Mr Sawbridge the evening before, and asked the captain why that
personage had so conducted himself. Now, as the language of Mr
Sawbridge was very much at variance with equality, Captain Wilson was
not a little puzzled.  However, he first pointed out that the first
lieutenant was, at the time being, the captain, as he was the senior
officer on board, as would Jack himself be if he were the senior
officer on board; and that, as he before observed, the captain or
senior officer represented the country.  That in the articles of war,
everybody who absented himself from the ship, committed an error, or
breach of those articles; and if any error or breach of those articles
was committed by anyone belonging to the ship, if the senior officer
did not take notice of it, he then himself committed a breach of those
articles, and was liable himself to be punished, if he could not prove
that he had noticed it; it was therefore to save himself that he was
obliged to point out the error; and if he did it in strong language,
it only proved his zeal for his country.

"Upon my honour, then," replied Jack, "there can be no doubt of his
zeal; for if the whole country had been at stake, he could not have
put himself in a greater passion."

"Then he did his duty; but depend upon it it was not a pleasant one to
him: and I'll answer for it, when you meet him on board, he will be as
friendly with you as if nothing had happened."

"He told me that he'd soon make me know what a first lieutenant was:
what did he mean by that?" inquired Jack.

"All zeal."

"Yes, but he said, that as soon as he got on board, he'd show me the
difference between a first lieutenant and a midshipman."

"All zeal."

"He said my ignorance should be a little enlightened by-and-bye."

"All zeal."

"And that he'd send a sergeant and marines to fetch me."

"All zeal."

"That he would put my philosophy to the proof."

"All zeal, Mr Easy.  Zeal will break out in this way; but we should do
nothing in the service without it.  Recollect that I hope and trust
one day to see you also a zealous officer."

Here Jack cogitated considerably, and gave no answer.

"You will, I am sure," continued Captain Wilson, "find Mr Sawbridge
one of your best friends."

"Perhaps so," replied Jack, "but I did not much admire our first
acquaintance."

"It will perhaps be your unpleasant duty to find as much fault
yourself; we are all equally bound to do our duty to our country. But,
Mr Easy, I sent for you to say that we shall sail to-morrow; and, as I
shall send my things off this afternoon by the launch, you had better
send yours off also.  At eight o'clock I shall go on board, and we can
both go in the same boat."

To this Jack made no sort of objection, and having paid his bill at
the Fountain, he sent his chest down to the boat by some of the crew
who came up for it, and attended the summons of the captain to embark.
By nine o'clock that evening, Mr Jack Easy was safe on board his
Majesty's sloop Harpy.

When Jack arrived on board, it was dark, and he did not know what to
do with himself.  The captain was received by the officers on deck,
who took off their hats to salute him.  The captain returned the
salute, and so did Jack very politely, after which, the captain
entered into conversation with the first lieutenant, and for a while
Jack was left to himself.  It was too dark to distinguish faces, and
to one who had never been on board of a ship, too dark to move, so
Jack stood where he was, which was not far from the main bitts; but he
did not stay long; the boat had been hooked on to the quarter davits,
and the boatswain had called out--"Set taut, my lads!"

And then with the shrill whistle, and "Away with her!" forward came
galloping and bounding along, the men with the tackles; and in the
dark Jack was upset, and half a dozen marines fell upon him; the men,
who had no idea that an officer was floored among the others, were
pleased at the joke, and continued to dance over those who were down,
until they rolled themselves out of the way.  Jack, who did not
understand this, fared badly, and it was not till the calls piped
belay that he could recover his legs, after having been trampled upon
by half the starboard watch, and the breath completely jammed out of
his body, Jack reeled to a carronade slide, when the officers who had
been laughing at the lark as well as the men, perceived his
situation--among others, Mr Sawbridge, the first lieutenant.

"Are you hurt, Mr Easy?" said he, kindly.

"A little," replied Jack, catching his breath.

"You've had but a rough welcome," replied the first lieutenant, "but
at certain times, on board ship, it is every man for himself, and God
for us all.  Harpur," continued the first lieutenant to the doctor,
"take Mr Easy down in the gun-room with you, and I will be down myself
as soon as I can.  Where is Mr Jolliffe?"

"Here, sir," replied Mr Jolliffe, a master's mate, coming aft from the
booms.

"There is a youngster come on board with the captain.  Order one of
the quarter-masters to get a hammock slung."

In the meantime Jack went down into the gun-room, where a glass of
wine somewhat recovered him.  He did not stay there long, nor did he
venture to talk much.  As soon as his hammock was ready, Jack was glad
to go to bed--and as he was much bruised he was not disturbed the next
morning till past nine o'clock.  He then dressed himself, went on
deck, found that the sloop was just clear of the Needles, that he felt
very queer, then very sick, and was conducted by a marine down below,
put into his hammock, where he remained during a gale of wind of three
days, bewildered, confused, puzzled, and every minute knocking his
head against the beams with the pitching and tossing of the sloop.

"And this is going to sea," thought Jack; "no wonder that no one
interferes with another here, or talks about a trespass; for I'm sure
anyone is welcome to my share of the ocean; and if I once get on shore
again, the devil may have my portion if he chooses."

Captain Wilson and Mr Sawbridge had both allowed Jack more leisure
than most midshipmen, during his illness.  By the time that the gale
was over, the sloop was off Cape Finisterre. The next morning the sea
was nearly down, and there was but a slight breeze on the waters. The
comparative quiet of the night before had very much recovered our
hero, and when the hammocks were piped up, he was accosted by Mr
Jolliffe, the master's mate, who asked, "whether he intended to rouse
and bit, or whether he intended to sail to Gibraltar between his
blankets."

Jack, who felt himself quite another person, turned out of his hammock
and dressed himself.  A marine had, by the captain's orders, attended
Jack during his illness, and this man came to his assistance, opened
his chest, and brought him all he required, or Jack would have been in
a sad dilemma.

Jack then inquired where he was to go, for he had not been in the
midshipmen's berth, although five days on board.  The marine pointed
it out to him, and Jack, who felt excessively hungry, crawled over and
between chests, until he found himself fairly in a hole infinitely
inferior to the dog-kennels which received his father's pointers.

"I'd not only give up the ocean," thought Jack, "and my share of it,
but also my share of the Harpy, unto anyone who fancies it. Equality
enough here! for everyone appears equally miserably off."

As he thus gave vent to his thoughts, he perceived that there was
another person in the berth--Mr Jolliffe, the master's mate, who had
fixed his eye upon Jack, and to whom Jack returned the compliment. The
first thing that Jack observed was, that Mr Jolliffe was very deeply
pockmarked, and that he had but one eye, and that was a piercer; it
appeared like a little ball of fire, and as if it reflected more light
from the solitary candle than the candle gave.

"I don't like your looks,"  thought Jack--"we shall never be friends."

But here Jack fell into the common error of judging by appearances, as
will be proved hereafter.

"I'm glad to see you up again, youngster," said Jolliffe; "you've been
on your beam ends longer than usual, but those who are strongest
suffer most--you made your mind up but late to come to sea. However,
they say, 'better late than never'."

"I feel very much inclined to argue the truth of that saying," replied
Jack; "but it's no use just now.  I'm terribly hungry--when shall I
get some breakfast?"

"To-morrow morning at half-past eight," replied Mr Jolliffe.
"Breakfast for to-day has been over these two hours."

"But must I then go without?"

"No, I do not say that, as we must make allowances for your illness;
but it will not be breakfast."

"Call it what you please," replied Jack, "only pray desire the
servants to give me something to eat.  Dry toast or muffins--anything
will do, but I should prefer coffee."

"You forget that you are off Finisterre, in a midshipman's berth:
coffee we have none--muffins we never see, dry toast cannot be made,
as we have no soft bread; but a cup of tea, and ship's biscuit and
butter, I can desire the steward to get ready for you."

"Well then," replied Jack, "I will thank you to procure me that."

"Marine," cried Jolliffe, "call Mesty."

"Pass the word for Mesty," cried the marine--and the two syllables
were handed forward until lost in the forepart of the vessel.

The person so named must be introduced to the reader.  He was a
curious anomaly--a black man who had been brought to America as a
slave, and there sold.

He was a very tall, spare-built, yet muscular form, and had a face by
no means common with his race.  His head was long and narrow, high
cheek-bones, from whence his face descended down to almost a point at
the chin; his nose was very small, but it was straight and almost
Roman; his mouth also was unusually small; and his lips thin for an
African; his teeth very white, and filed to sharp points.  He claimed
the rank of prince in his own country, with what truth could not of
course be substantiated.  His master had settled at New York, and
there Mesty had learned English, if it could be so-called: the fact
is, that all the emigrant labourers at New York being Irishmen, he had
learned English with the strong brogue and peculiar phraseology of the
sister kingdom dashed with a little Yankeeism.

Having been told that there was no slavery in England, Mesty had
concealed himself on board an English merchant vessel, and escaped. On
his arrival in England he had entered on board of a man-of-war. Having
no name, it was necessary to christen him on the ship's books, and the
first lieutenant, who had entered him, struck with his remarkable
expression of countenance, and being a German scholar, had named him
Mephistopheles Faust, from whence his Christian name had been razed to
Mesty.  Mesty in other points was an eccentric character; at one
moment, when he remembered his lineage, he was proud to excess, at
others he was grave and almost sullen--but when nothing either in
daily occurrences or in his mind ran contrary, he exhibited the
drollery so often found in his nation, with a spice of Irish humour,
as if he had caught up the latter with his Irish brogue.

Mesty was soon seen coming aft, but almost double as he couched under
the beams, and taking large strides with his naked feet.

"By the powers, Massa Yolliffe, but it is not seasonable at all to
send for me just now, anyhow, seeing how the praters are in the
copper, and so many blackguard 'palpeens all ready to change net for
net, and better themselves by the same mistake, 'dam um."

"Mesty, you know I never send for you myself, or allow others to do
so, unless it is necessary," replied Jolliffe; "but this poor lad has
eaten nothing since he has been on board, and is very hungry--you must
get him a little tea."

"Is it tay you mane, sir?--I guess, to make tay, in the first place I
must ab water, and in the next must ab room in the galley to put the
kettle on--and 'pose you wanted to burn the tip of your little finger
just now, it's not in the galley that you find a berth for it--and den
the water before seven bells.  I've a notion it's just impossible."

"But he must have something, Mesty."

"Never mind the tea, then," replied Jack, "I'll take some milk."

"Is it milk massa manes, and the bumboat woman on the oder side of the
bay?"

"We have no milk, Mr Easy; you forget that we are on blue water,"
replied Jolliffe, "and I really am afraid that you'll have to wait
till dinner-time.  Mesty tells the truth."

"I tell you what, Massa Yolliffe, it just seven bells, and if the
young gentleman would, instead of tay, try a little out of the copper,
it might keep him asy.  It but a little difference, tay soup and pay
soup. Now a bowl of that, with some nuts and a flourish of pepper,
will do him good, anyhow."

"Perhaps the best thing he can take, Mesty; get it as fast as you
can."

In a few minutes the black brought down a bowl of soup and whole peas
swimming in it, put before our hero a tin bread-basket full of small
biscuit, called midshipmen's nuts, and the pepper-caster. Jack's
visions of tea, coffee, muffins, dry toast, and milk, vanished as he
perceived the mess; but he was very hungry, and he found it much
better than he expected; and he moreover found himself much the better
after he had swallowed it. It struck seven bells, and he accompanied
Mr Jolliffe on deck.




CHAPTER X

Showing how Jack transgresses against his own philosophy.


When Jack Easy had gained the deck, he found the sun shining gaily, a
soft air blowing from the shore, and the whole of the rigging and
every part of the ship loaded with the shirts, trousers, and jackets
of the seamen, which had been wetted during the heavy gale, and were
now hanging up to dry; all the wet sails were also spread on the booms
or triced up in the rigging, and the ship was slowly forging through
the blue water.  The captain and first lieutenant were standing on the
gangway in converse, and the majority of the officers were with their
quadrants and sextants ascertaining the latitude at noon.  The decks
were white and clean, the sweepers had just laid by their brooms, and
the men were busy coiling down the ropes.  It was a scene of
cheerfulness, activity, and order, which tightened his heart after the
four days of suffering, close air, and confinement, from which he had
just emerged.

The captain, who perceived him, beckoned to him, asked him kindly how
he felt: the first lieutenant also smiled upon him, and many of the
officers, as well as his messmates, congratulated him upon his
recovery.

The captain's steward came up to him, touched his hat, and requested
the pleasure of his company to dinner in the cabin. Jack was the
essence of politeness, took off his hat, and accepted the invitation.
Jack was standing on a rope which a seaman was coiling down; the man
touched his hat and requested he would be so kind as to take his foot
off.  Jack took his hat off his head in return, and his foot off the
rope.  The master touched his hat, and reported twelve o'clock to the
first lieutenant--the first lieutenant touched his hat, and reported
twelve o'clock to the captain--the captain touched his hat, and told
the first lieutenant to make it so.  The officer of the watch touched
his hat, and asked the captain whether they should pipe to dinner--
the captain touched his hat, and said--"If you please."

The midshipman received his orders, and touched his hat, which he gave
to the head boatswain's mate, who touched his hat, and then the calls
whistled cheerily.

"Well," thought Jack, "politeness seems to be the order of the day,
and everyone has an equal respect for the other." Jack stayed on deck;
he peeped through the ports, which were open, and looked down into the
deep blue wave; he cast his eyes aloft, and watched the tall spars
sweeping and tracing with their points, as it were, a small portion of
the clear sky, as they acted in obedience to the motion of the vessel;
he looked forward at the range of carronades which lined the sides of
the deck, and then he proceeded to climb one of the carronades, and
lean over the hammocks to gaze on the distant land.

"Young gentleman, get off those hammocks," cried the master, who was
officer of the watch, in a surly tone.

Jack looked round. "Do you hear me, sir?  I'm speaking to you," said
the master again. Jack felt very indignant, and he thought that
politeness was not quite so general as he supposed.

It happened that Captain Wilson was upon deck. "Come here, Mr Easy,"
said the captain; "it is a rule in the service, that no one gets on
the hammocks, unless in case of emergency--I never do--nor the first
lieutenant--nor any of the officers or men,--therefore, upon the
principle of equality, you must not do it either."

"Certainly not, sir," replied Jack, "but still I do not see why that
officer in the shining hat should be so angry, and not speak to me as
if I were a gentleman, as well as himself."

"I have already explained that to you, Mr Easy." "O yes, I recollect
now, it's zeal: but this zeal appears to me to be the only unpleasant
thing in the service.  It's a pity, as you said, that the service
cannot do without it."

Captain Wilson laughed, and walked away; and shortly afterwards, as he
turned up and down the deck with the master, he hinted to him, that he
should not speak so sharply to a lad who had committed such a trifling
error through ignorance.  Now Mr Smallsole, the master, who was a
surly sort of a personage, and did not like even a hint of
disapprobation of his conduct, although very regardless of the feeling
of others, determined to pay this off on Jack, the very first
convenient opportunity.  Jack dined in the cabin, and was very much
pleased to find that everyone drank wine with him, and that everybody
at the captain's table appeared to be on an equality.  Before the
dessert had been on the table five minutes, Jack became loquacious on
his favourite topic; all the company stared with surprise at such an
unheard-of doctrine being broached on board of a man-of-war; the
captain argued the point, so as to controvert, without too much
offending, Jack's notions, laughing the whole time that the
conversation was carried on.

It will be observed, that this day may be considered as the first in
which Jack really made his appearance on board, and it also was on
this first day that Jack made known, at the captain's table, his very
peculiar notions.  If the company at the captain's table, which
consisted of the second lieutenant, purser, Mr Jolliffe, and one of
the midshipmen, were astonished at such heterodox opinions being
stated in the presence of the captain, they were equally astonished at
the cool, good-humoured ridicule with which they were received by
Captain Wilson.

The report of Jack's boldness, and every word and opinion that he had
uttered (of course much magnified) was circulated that evening through
the whole ship; it was canvassed in the gun-room by the officers; it
was descanted upon by the midshipmen as they walked the deck; the
captain's steward held a levee abreast of the ship's funnel, in which
he narrated this new doctrine.  The sergeant of marines gave his
opinion in his berth, that it was damnable.  The boatswain talked over
the matter with the other warrant officers, till the grog was all
gone, and then dismissed it as too dry a subject: and it was the
general opinion of the ship's company, that as soon as they arrived at
Gibraltar Bay, our hero would bid adieu to the service, either by
being sentenced to death by a court-martial, or by being dismissed,
and towed on shore on a grating. Others, who had more of the wisdom of
the serpent, and who had been informed by Mr Sawbridge that our hero
was a lad who would inherit a large property, argued differently, and
considered that Captain Wilson had very good reason for being so
lenient--and among them was the second lieutenant.  There were but
four who were well inclined towards Jack,--to wit, the captain, the
first lieutenant, Mr Jolliffe, the one-eyed master's mate, and
Mephistopheles, the black, who, having heard that Jack had uttered
such sentiments, loved him with all his heart and soul.

We have referred to the second lieutenant, Mr Asper.  This young man
had a very high respect for birth, and particularly for money, of
which he had very little.  He was the son of an eminent merchant who,
during the time that he was a midshipman, had allowed him a much
larger sum for his expenses than was necessary or proper; and, during
his career, he found that his full pocket procured him consequence,
not only among his own messmates, but also with many of the officers
of the ships that he sailed in.  A man who is able and willing to pay
a large tavern bill will always find followers--that is, to the
tavern; and lieutenants did not disdain to dine, walk arm-in-arm, and
be "hail fellow well met" with a midshipman, at whose expense they
lived during the time they were on shore.  Mr Asper had just received
his commission and appointment, when his father became a bankrupt, and
the fountain was dried up from which he had drawn such liberal
supplies.  Since that, Mr Asper had felt that his consequence was
gone: he could no longer talk about the service being a bore, or that
he should give it up; he could no longer obtain that deference paid to
his purse, and not to himself; and he had contracted very expensive
habits, without having any longer the means of gratifying them.

It was therefore no wonder that he imbibed a great respect for money;
and, as he could no longer find the means himself, he was glad to pick
up anybody else at whose cost he could indulge in that extravagance
and expense to which he had been so long accustomed, and still sighed
for.  Now, Mr Asper knew that our hero was well supplied with money,
as he had obtained from the waiter the amount of the bill paid at the
Fountain, and he had been waiting for Jack's appearance on deck to
become his very dearest and most intimate friend.  The conversation in
the cabin made him feel assured that Jack would require and be
grateful for support, and he had taken the opportunity of a walk with
Mr Sawbridge, to offer to take Jack in his watch.  Whether it was that
Mr Sawbridge saw through the design of Mr Asper, or whether he
imagined that our hero would be better pleased with him than with the
master, considering his harshness of deportment; or with himself, who
could not, as first lieutenant, overlook any remission of duty, the
offer was accepted, and Jack Easy was ordered, as he now entered upon
his duties, to keep watch under Lieutenant Asper.

But not only was this the first day that Jack may be said to have
appeared in the service, but it was the first day in which he had
entered the midshipman's berth, and was made acquainted with his
messmates.

We have already mentioned Mr Jolliffe, the master's mate, but we must
introduce him more particularly.  Nature is sometimes extremely
arbitrary, and never did she show herself more so than in insisting
that Mr Jolliffe should have the most sinister expression of
countenance that ever had been looked upon.

He had suffered martyrdom with the small-pox, which probably had
contracted his lineaments: his face was not only deeply pitted, but
scarred with this cruel disorder.  One eye had been lost, and all
eyebrows had disappeared--and the contrast between the dull,
sightless, opaque orb on one side of his face, and the brilliant,
piercing little ball on the other, was almost terrifying.  His nose
had been eaten away by the disease till it formed a sharp but
irregular point; part of the muscles of the chin were contracted, and
it was drawn in with unnatural seams and puckers.  He was tall, gaunt,
and thin, seldom smiled, and when he did, the smile produced a still
further distortion.

Mr Jolliffe was the son of a warrant officer.  He did not contract
this disease until he had been sent out to the West Indies, where it
swept away hundreds.  He had now been long in the service, with little
or no chance of promotion.  He had suffered from indigence, from
reflections upon his humble birth, from sarcasms on his appearance.
Every contumely had been heaped upon him at one time or another, in
the ships in which he served; among a crowd he had found himself
desolate--and now, although no one dared treat him to his face with
disrespect, he was only respected in the service from a knowledge of
his utility and exemplary performance of his duties--he had no friends
or even companions.  For many years he had retired within himself, he
had improved by reading and study, had felt all the philanthropy of a
Christian, and extended it towards others.  Silent and reserved, he
seldom spoke in the berth, unless his authority, as caterer, was
called for; all respected Mr Jolliffe, but no one liked, as a
companion, one at whose appearance the very dogs would bark.  At the
same time every one acknowledged his correct behaviour in every point,
his sense of justice, his forbearance, his kindness, and his good
sense.  With him life was indeed a pilgrimage, and he wended his way
in all Christian charity and all Christian zeal.

In all societies, however small they may be, provided that they do but
amount to half-a-dozen, you will invariably meet with a bully. And it
is also generally the case that you will find one of that society who
is more or less the butt.  You will discover this even in occasional
meetings, such as a dinner-party, the major part of which have never
met before.

Previous to the removal of the cloth, the bully will have shown
himself by his dictatorial manner, and will also have selected the one
upon whom he imagines that he can best practise.  In a midshipman's
berth, this fact has become almost proverbial, although now perhaps it
is not attended with that disagreeable despotism which was permitted
at the time that our hero entered the service.

The bully of the midshipman's berth of H.M. sloop Harpy Was a young
man about seventeen, with light, curly hair, and florid countenance,
the son of the clerk in the dockyard at Plymouth, and his name was
Vigors.

The butt was a pudding-faced Tartar-physiognomied boy of fifteen,
whose intellects, with fostering, if not great, might at least have
been respectable, had he not lost all confidence in his own powers
from the constant jeers and mockeries of those who had a greater
fluency of speech without perhaps so much real power of mind. Although
slow, what he learnt he invariably retained.  This lad's name was
Gossett.  His father was a wealthy yeoman of Lynn, in Norfolk.  There
were at the time but three other midshipmen in the ship, of whom it
can only be said that they were like midshipmen in general, with
little appetite for learning, but good appetites for dinner, hating
everything like work, fond of everything like fun, fighting "a
L'outrance" one minute, and sworn friends the next--with general
principles of honour and justice, but which were occasionally warped
according to circumstances; with all the virtues and vices so
heterogeneously jumbled and heaped together, that it was almost
impossible to ascribe any action to its true motive, and to ascertain
to what point their vice was softened down into almost a virtue, and
their virtues from mere excess degenerated into vice.  Their names
were O'Connor, Mills, and Gascoigne.  The other shipmates of our hero
it will be better to introduce as they appear on the stage.

After Jack had dined in the cabin, he followed his messmates Jolliffe
and Gascoigne down into the midshipmen's berth.

"I say, Easy," observed Gascoigne, "you are a devilish free and easy
sort of a fellow, to tell the captain that you considered yourself as
great a man as he was."

"I beg your pardon," replied Jack, "I did not argue individually, but
generally, upon the principles of the rights of man."

"Well," replied Gascoigne, "it's the first time I ever heard a middy
do such a bold thing; take care your rights of man don't get you in
the wrong box--there's no arguing on board of a man-of-war.  The
captain took it amazingly easy, but you'd better not broach that
subject too often."

"Gascoigne gives you very good advice, Mr Easy," observed Jolliffe;
"allowing that your ideas are correct, which it appears to me they are
not, or at least impossible to be acted upon, there is such a thing as
prudence, and however much this question may be canvassed on shore, in
his Majesty's service it is not only dangerous in itself, but will be
very prejudicial to you."

"Man is a free agent," replied Easy.

"I'll be shot if a midshipman is," replied Gascoigne, laughing, aloud
"that you'll soon find."

"And yet it was in the expectation of finding that equality that I was
induced to come to sea."

"On the first of April, I presume," replied Gascoigne.  "But are you
really serious?"

Hereupon Jack entered into a long argument, to which Jolliffe and
Gascoigne listened without interruption, and Mesty with admiration; at
the end of it, Gascoigne laughed heartily, and Jolliffe sighed.

"From whence did you learn all this?" inquired Jolliffe.

"From my father, who is a great philosopher, and has constantly upheld
these opinions."

"And did your father wish you to go to sea?"

"No, he was opposed to it," replied Jack, "but of course he could not
combat my right and free-will."

"Mr Easy, as a friend," replied Jolliffe, "I request that you would as
much as possible keep your opinions to yourself.  I shall have an
opportunity of talking to you on the subject and will then explain to
you my reasons."

As soon as Mr Jolliffe had ceased, down came Mr Vigors and O'Connor,
who had heard the news of Jack's heresy.

"You do not know Mr Vigors and Mr O'Connor," said Jolliffe to Easy.

Jack, who was the essence of politeness, rose and bowed, at which the
others took their seats, without returning the salutation. Vigors had,
from what he had heard and now seen of Easy, thought he had somebody
else to play upon, and without ceremony he commenced.

"So, my chap, you are come on board to raise a mutiny here with your
equality--you came off scot free at the captain's table; but it won't
do, I can tell you, even in the midshipman's berth: some must knock
under, and you are one of them."

"If, sir," replied Easy, "you mean by knock under, that I must submit,
I can assure you that you are mistaken.  Upon the same principle that
I would never play the tyrant to those weaker than myself, so will I
resent oppression if attempted."

"Damme, but he's a regular sea lawyer already: however, my boy, we'll
soon put your mettle to the proof."

"Am I then to infer that I am not on an equality with my messmates?"
replied Jack, looking at Jolliffe.  The latter was about to answer
him, but Vigors interrupted.

"Yes, you are on an equality as far as this, that you have an equal
right to the berth, if you are not knocked out of it for insolence to
your masters; that you have an equal share to pay for the things
purchased for the mess, and an equal right to have your share,
provided you can get it; you have an equal right to talk, provided you
are not told to hold your tongue.  The fact is, you have an equal
right with everyone else to do as you can, get what you can, and say
what you can, always provided that you can do it; for here the weakest
goes to the wall, and that is midshipman's berth equality.  Now, do
you understand all that; or will you wait for a practical
illustration?"

"I am then to infer that the equality here is as much destroyed as it
even will be among savages, where the strong oppress the weak, and the
only law is club law--in fact, much the same as it is at a public or
large school, on shore?"

"I suspect you are right for once.  You were at a public school: how
did they treat you there?"

"As you propose treating people here--the weakest went to the wall."

"Well, then, a nod's as good as a wink to a blind horse, that's all,
my hearty," said Vigors.

But the hands being turned up, "Shorten sail" put an end to the
altercation for the present.

As our hero had not yet received orders to go to his duty, he remained
below with Mesty.

"By de powers, Massa Easy, but I lub you with my hole soul," said
Mesty.  "By Jasus, you really tark fine, Massa Easy; dat Mr Vigor--
nebber care for him, wouldn't you help him--and sure you would,"
continued the black, feeling the muscle of Jack's arm.  "By the soul
of my fader, I'd bet my week's allowance on you anyhow. Nebber be
'fraid, Massa Easy."

"I am not afraid," replied Jack; "I've thrashed bigger fellows than
he"; and Jack's assertion was true.  Mr Bonnycastle never interfered
in a fair fight, and took no notice of black eyes, provided the
lessons there well said.  Jack had fought and fought again, until he
was a very good bruiser, and although not so tall as Vigors, he was
much better built for fighting.  A knowing Westminster boy would have
bet his half-crown upon Jack had he seen him and his anticipated
adversary.

The constant battles which Jack was obliged to fight at school had
been brought forward by Jack against his father's arguments in favour
of equality, but they had been overruled by Mr Easy's pointing out
that the combats of boys had nothing to do with the rights of man.

As soon as the watch was called, Vigors, O'Connor, Gossett, and
Gascoigne came down into the berth.  Vigors, who was the strongest in
the berth, except Jolliffe, had successively had his superiority
acknowledged, and, when on deck, he had talked of Easy's impertinence,
and his intention of bringing him to his senses.  The others,
therefore, came down to see the fun.

"Well, Mr Easy," observed Vigors, as he came into the berth, "you take
after your name, at all events; I suppose you intend to eat the king's
provision, and do nothing."

Jack's mettle was already up. "You will oblige me, sir, by minding
your own business," replied Jack.

"You impudent blackguard, if you say another word, I'll give you a
good thrashing, and knock some of your equality out of you."

"Indeed," replied Jack, who almost fancied himself back at Mr
Bonnycastle's; "we'll try that."

Whereupon Jack very coolly divested himself of his upper garments,
neckerchief, and shirt, much to the surprise of Mr Vigors, who little
contemplated such a proof of decision and confidence, and still more
to the delight of the other midshipmen, who would have forfeited a
week's allowance to see Vigors well thrashed.  Vigors, however, knew
that he had gone too far to retreat; he therefore prepared for action;
and, when ready, the whole party went out into the steerage to settle
the business.

Vigors had gained his assumed authority more by bullying than
fighting; others had submitted to him without a sufficient trial;
Jack, on the contrary, had won his way up in school by hard and
scientific combat; the result, therefore, may easily be imagined.  In
less than a quarter of an hour Vigors, beaten dead, with his eyes
closed, and three teeth out, gave in: while Jack, after a basin of
water, looked as fresh as ever, with the exception of a few trifling
scratches.

The news of this victory was soon through the ship; and before Jack
had resumed his clothes it had been told confidentially by Sawbridge
to the captain.

"So soon!" said Captain Wilson, laughing; "I expected that a
midshipman's berth would do wonders; but I did not expect this yet
awhile.  This victory is the first severe blow to Mr Easy's equality,
and will be more valuable than twenty defeats. Let him now go to his
duty, he will soon find his level."




CHAPTER XI

In which our hero proves that all on board should equally sacrifice
decency to duty.


The success of any young man in a profession very much depends upon
the occurrences at the commencement of his career, as from those is
his character judged, and he is treated accordingly.  Jack had chosen
to enter the service at a much later period than most lads; he was
tall and manly for his age, and his countenance, if not strictly
handsome, wore that expression of honesty and boldness which is sure
to please.  His spirit in not submitting to, and meeting, Vigors when
he had hardly recovered from his severe prostration of sea-sickness,
had gained him with the many respect, and with all, except his
antagonist and Mr Smallsole, good-will.  Instead of being laughed at
by his messmates, he was played with; for Jolliffe smiled at his
absurdities, and attempted to reason him out of them, and the others
liked Jack for himself and his generosity, and moreover, because they
looked up to him as a protector against Vigors, who had persecuted
them all; for Jack had declared, that as might was right in a
midshipman's berth, he would so far restore equality, that if he could
not put down those who were the strongest, at all events he would
protect the weak, and, let who would come into the berth, they must be
his master before they should tyrannise over those weaker than he.

Thus did Jack Easy make the best use that he could of his strength,
and become, as it were, the champion and security of those who,
although much longer at sea and more experienced than he was, were
glad to shelter themselves under his courage and skill, the latter of
which had excited the admiration of the butcher of the ship, who had
been a pugilist by profession.  Thus did Jack at once take the rank of
an oldster, and soon became the leader of all the mischief.  We
particularly observe this, because, had it so happened that our hero
had succumbed to Vigors, the case would have been the very reverse. He
then would have had to go through the ordeal to which most who enter
the naval service are exposed, which cannot be better explained than
by comparing it to the fagging carried to such an iniquitous extent in
public schools.

Mr Asper, for his own reasons, made him his companion: they walked the
night watch together, and he listened to all Jack's nonsense about the
rights of man.  And here Mr Asper did good without intending it, for,
at the same time that he appeared to agree with Jack, to secure his
favour, he cautioned him, and pointed out why this equality could not
exist altogether on board of a man-of-war.

As for himself, he said, he saw no difference between a lieutenant, or
even a captain, and a midshipman, provided they were gentlemen: he
should choose his friends where he liked, and despised that power of
annoyance which the service permitted.  Of course, Jack and Mr Asper
were good friends, especially as, when half the watch was over, to
conciliate his good-will and to get rid of his eternal arguing, Mr
Asper would send Jack down to bed.

They were now entering the Straits, and expected to anchor the next
day at Gibraltar, and Jack was forward on the forecastle, talking with
Mesty, with whom he had contracted a great friendship, for there was
nothing that Mesty would not have done for Jack, although he had not
been three weeks in the ship; but a little reflection will show that
it was natural.

Mesty had been a great man in his own country; he had suffered all the
horrors of a passage in a slave ship; he had been sold as a slave
twice; he had escaped--but he found that the universal feeling was
strong against his colour, and that on board of a man-of-war he was
condemned, although free, to the humblest of offices.

He had never heard anyone utter the sentiments, which now beat in his
own heart, of liberty and equality--we say now, for when he was in his
own country before his captivity, he had no ideas of equality; no one
has who is in power: but he had been schooled; and although people
talked of liberty and equality at New York, he found that what they
preached for themselves, they did not practise towards others, and
that, in the midst of liberty and equality, he and thousands more were
enslaved and degraded beings.

Escaping to England, he had regained his liberty, but not his
equality; his colour had prevented the latter, and in that feeling all
the world appeared to conspire together against him, until, to his
astonishment, he heard those sentiments boldly expressed from the lips
of Jack, and that in a service where it was almost tantamount to
mutiny. Mesty, whose character is not yet developed, immediately took
a fondness for our hero, and in a hundred ways showed his attachment.
Jack also liked Mesty, and was fond of talking with him, and every
evening, since the combat with Vigors, they had generally met in the
forecastle to discuss the principles of equality and the rights of
man.

The boatswain, whose name was Biggs, was a slight, dapper, active
little man, who, as captain of the foretop, had shown an uncommon
degree of courage in a hurricane, so much so, as to recommend him to
the Admiral for promotion.  It was given to him; and after the ship to
which he had been appointed was paid off, he had been ordered to join
H.M. sloop Harpy.  Jack's conversation with Mesty was interrupted by
the voice of the boatswain, who was haranguing his boy. "It's now ten
minutes, sir, by my repeater," said the boatswain, "that I have sent
for you"; and Mr Biggs pulled out a huge silver watch, almost as big
as a Norfolk turnip.  A Jew had sold him the watch; the boatswain had
heard of repeaters, and wished to have one.  Moses had only shown him
watches with the hour and minute hands; he now produced one with a
second hand, telling him it was a repeater.

"What makes it a repeater?" inquired the boatswain.

"Common watches," said the cunning Jew, "only tell the minutes and
hours; but all repeaters tell the seconds."

The boatswain was satisfied--bought the watch, and, although many had
told him it was no repeater, he insisted that it was, and would call
it so.

"I swear," continued the boatswain, "it's ten minutes and twenty
seconds by my repeater."

"If you please, sir," said the boy, "I was changing my trousers when
you sent for me, and then I had to stow away my bag again."

"Silence, sir; I'd have you to know that when you are sent for by your
officer, trousers or no trousers, it is your duty to come up
directly."

"Without trousers, sir?" replied the boy.

"Yes, sir, without trousers; if the captain required me, I should come
without my shirt.  Duty before decency." So saying, the boatswain lays
hold of the boy.

"Surely, Mr Biggs," said Jack, "you are not going to punish that boy
for not coming up without his trousers?"

"Yes, Mr Easy, I am--I must teach him a lesson.  We are bound, now
that newfangled ideas are brought into the ship, to uphold the dignity
of the service; and the orders of an officer are not to be delayed ten
minutes and twenty seconds because a boy has no trousers on."
Whereupon the boatswain administered several smart cuts with his
rattan upon the boy, proving that it was quite as well that he had put
on his trousers before he came on deck.  "There," said Mr Biggs, "is a
lesson for you, you scamp--and, Mr Easy, it is a lesson for you also,"
continued the boatswain, walking away with a most consequential air.

"Murder Irish!" said Mesty--"how him cut caper. De oder day he haul
out de weather ear-ring, and touch him hat to a midshipman. Sure
enough, make um cat laugh."

The next day the Harpy was at anchor in Gibraltar Bay; the captain
went on shore, directing the gig to be sent for him before nine
o'clock; after which hour the sally-port is only opened by special
permission.  There happened to be a ball given by the officers of the
garrison on that evening, and a polite invitation was sent to the
officers of H.M. sloop Harpy.  As those who accepted the invitation
would be detained late, it was not possible for them to come off that
night.  And as their services were required for the next day, Captain
Wilson allowed them to remain on shore until seven o'clock the next
morning, at which hour, as there was a large party, there would be two
boats sent for them.

Mr Asper obtained leave, and asked permission to take our hero with
him; to which Mr Sawbridge consented.  Many other officers obtained
leave, and, among others, the boatswain, who, aware that his services
would be in request as soon as the equipment commenced, asked
permission for this evening.  And Mr Sawbridge, feeling that he could
be better spared at this than at any other time, consented.  Asper and
Jack went to an inn, dined, bespoke beds, and then dressed themselves
for the ball, which was very brilliant, and, from the company of the
officers, very pleasant.  Captain Wilson looked on at the
commencement, and then returned on board.  Jack behaved with his usual
politeness, danced till two o'clock, and then, as the ball thinned,
Asper proposed that they should retires.  Having once more applied to
the refreshment-room, they had procured their hats, and were about to
depart, when one of the officers of the garrison asked Jack if he
would like to see a baboon, which had just been brought down from the
rock; and, taking some of the cakes, they repaired to the court where
the animal was chained down to a small tank.  Jack fed the brute till
all the cakes were gone, and then, because he had no more to give
him, the baboon flew at Jack, who, in making his retreat fell back
into the tank, which was about two feet deep.  This was a joke, and
having laughed heartily, they wished the officer good-night, and went
to the inn.

Now, what with the number of officers of the Harpy on shore, who had
all put up at the same inn, and other occupants, the landlord was
obliged to put his company into double and treble-bedded rooms; but
this was of little consequence.  Jack was shown into a double-bedded
room, and proceeded to undress; the other was evidently occupied, by
the heavy breathing which saluted Jack's ear.

As Jack undressed, he recollected that his trousers were wet through,
and to dry them he opened the window, hung them out, and then jammed
down the window again upon them, to hold them in their position, after
which he turned in and fell fast asleep.  At six o'clock he was
called, as he had requested, and proceeded to dress, but to his
astonishment found the window thrown open and his trousers missing. It
was evident, that his partner in the room had thrown the window open
during the night, and that his trousers, having fallen down into the
street, had been walked off with by somebody or another.  Jack looked
out of the window once more, and perceived that whoever had thrown
open the window had been unwell during the night.

A nice drunken companion I have had, thought Jack; but what's to be
done? And in saying this, he walked up to the other bed, and perceived
that it was tenanted by the boatswain. Well, thought Jack, as Mr Biggs
has thought proper to lose my trousers, I think I have a right to take
his, or at least the wear of them to go on board.  It was but last
night he declared that decency must give way to duty, and that the
orders of a superior officer were to be obeyed, with or without
garments. I know he is obliged to be on board, and now he shall try
how he likes to obey orders in his shirt tails.  So cogitating, Jack
took the trousers of the boatswain, who still snored, although he had
been called, and putting them on, completed the rest of his dress, and
quitted the room.  He went to that of Mr Asper, where he found him
just ready, and, having paid the bill--for Asper had forgotten his
purse--they proceeded down to the sally-port, where they found other
officers waiting, sufficient to load the first boat, which shoved off,
and they went on board.  As soon as he was down below, Jack hastened
to change his trousers, and, unobserved by anyone, threw those
belonging to Mr Biggs on a chair in his cabin, and, having made a
confidant of Mesty, who was delighted, he went on deck, and waited the
issue of the affair.

Before Jack left the hotel, he had told the waiter that there was the
boatswain still fast asleep, and that he must be roused up
immediately; and this injunction was obeyed.  The boatswain, who had
drunk too much the night before, and, as Jack had truly imagined, had
opened the window because he was unwell, was wakened up, and hearing
how late it was, hastened to dress himself.  Not finding his trousers,
he rang the bell, supposing that they had been taken down to be
brushed, and, in the meantime, put on everything else, that he might
lose no time: the waiter who answered the bell, denied having taken
the trousers out of the room, and poor Mr Biggs was in a sad quandary.
What had become of them, he could not tell: he had no recollection of
having gone to bed the night before; he inquired of the waiter, who
said that he knew nothing about them--that he was very tipsy when he
came home, and that when he called him, he had found the window open,
and it appeared that he had been unwell--he supposed that he had
thrown his trousers out of the window. Time flew, and the boatswain
was in despair.  "Could they lend him a pair?"

"He would call his master." The master of the inn knew very well the
difference of rank between officers, and those whom he could trust and
those whom he could not.  He sent up the bill by the waiter, and
stated that, for a deposit, the gentleman might have a pair of
trousers.  The boatswain felt in his pockets and remembered that all
his money was in his trousers' pocket.  He could not only not leave a
deposit, but could not pay his bill.  The landlord was inexorable.  It
was bad enough to lose his money, but he could not lose more.

"I shall be tried by a court-martial, by heavens!" exclaimed the
boatswain--"it's not far from the sally-port: I'll make a run for it,
and I can slip into one of the boats and get another pair of trousers
before I report myself as having come on board."  So making up his
mind, the boatswain took to his heels, and with his check shirt tails
streaming in the wind, ran as hard as he could to where the boat was
waiting to receive him.  He was encountered by many, but he only ran
the faster the more they jeered, and, at last, arrived breathless at
his goal, flew down the steps, jumped into the boat, and squatted on
the stern sheets, much to the surprise of the officers and men, who
thought him mad.  He stated in a few words that somebody had stolen
his trousers during the night; and as it was already late, the boat
shoved off the men as well as officers convulsed with laughter.

"Have any of you a pea-jacket?" inquired the boatswain of the men--but
the weather was so warm that none of them had brought a pea-jacket.
The boatswain looked round; he perceived that the officers were
sitting on a boat-cloak.

"Whose boat-cloak is that?" inquired the boatswain.

"Mine," replied Gascoigne.

"I trust, Mr Gascoigne, you will have the kindness to lend it to me to
go up the side with."

"Indeed I will not," replied Gascoigne, who would sooner have thrown
it overboard and have lost it, than not beheld the anticipated fun:
"recollect I asked you for a fishing-line, when we were becalmed off
Cape St Vincent, and you sent word that you'd see me dead first. Now
I'll just see you the same before you have my boat-cloak."

"Oh, Mr Gascoigne, I'll give you three lines, directly I get on
board."

"I dare say you will, but that won't do now.  'Tit for tat,' Mr
Boatswain, and hang all favours," replied Gascoigne, who was steering
the boat, having been sent on shore for the others.  "In borrowed of
all." The boat was laid alongside--the relentless Gascoigne caught up
his boat-cloak as the other officers rose to go on board, and rolling
it up, in spite of the earnest entreaties of Mr Biggs, tossed it into
the main chains, to the man who had thrown the stem fast; and to make
the situation of Mr Biggs still more deplorable, the first lieutenant
was standing looking into the boat, and Captain Wilson walking the
quarter-deck.

"Come, Mr Biggs, I expected you off in the first boat," cried Mr
Sawbridge; "be as smart as you please, for the yards are not yet
squared."

"Shall I go ahead in this boat, and square them, sir?"

"That boat! no; let her drop astern, jump up here and lower down the
dinghy.  What the devil do you sit there for, Mr Biggs?--you'll oblige
me by showing a little more activity, or, by Jove, you may save
yourself the trouble of asking to go on shore again.  Are you sober,
sir?"

The last observation decided Mr Biggs.  He sprung up from the boat
just as he was, and touched his hat as he passed the first lieutenant.
"Perfectly sober, sir, but I've lost my trousers."

"So it appears, sir," replied Mr Sawbridge, as Mr Biggs stood on the
plane shear of the sloop where the hammock netting divides for an
entrance, with his shirt tails fluttering in the sea breeze; but Mr
Sawbridge could not contain himself any longer; he ran down the ship
ladder which led on the quarter-deck, choked with laughter. Mr Biggs
could not descend until after Mr Sawbridge, and the conversation had
attracted the notice of all, and every eye in the ship was on him.

"What's all this?" said Captain Wilson, coming to the gangway. "Duty
before decency," replied Jack, who stood by enjoying the joke.

Mr Biggs recollected the day before--he cast a furious look at Jack,
as he touched his hat to the captain, and then dived down to the lower
deck.

If anything could add to the indignation of the boatswain, it was to
find that his trousers had come on board before him.  He now felt that
a trick had been played him, and also that our hero must have been the
party, but he could prove nothing; he could not say who slept in the
same room, for he was fast asleep when Jack went to bed, and fast
asleep when Jack quitted the room.

The truth of the story soon became known to all the ship, and "duty
before decency" became a bye-word.  All that the boatswain could do he
did, which was to revenge himself upon the poor boy--and Gascoigne and
Jack never got any fishing-tackle.  The boatswain was as obnoxious to
the men as Vigors, and in consequence of Jack's known opinions upon
the rights of man, and his having floored their two greatest enemies,
he became a great favourite with the seamen, and as all favourites are
honoured by them with a soubriquet, our hero obtained that of Equality
Jack.




CHAPTER XII

In which our hero prefers going down to going up; a choice, it is to
be hoped, he will reverse upon a more important occasion.


The next day being Sunday, the hands were turned up to divisions, and
the weather not being favourable, instead of the service the articles
of war were read with all due respect shown to the same, the captain,
officers, and crew, with their hats off in a mizzling rain. Jack, who
had been told by the captain that these articles of war were the rules
and regulations of the service, by which the captain, officers, and
men, were equally bound, listened to them as they were read by the
clerk with the greatest attention.  He little thought that there were
about five hundred orders from the Admiralty tacked on to them, which,
like the numerous codicils of some wills, contained the most important
matter, and to a certain degree make the will nugatory.

Jack listened very attentively, and, as each article was propounded,
felt that he was not likely to commit himself in that point, and,
although he was rather astonished to find such a positive injunction
against swearing considered quite a dead letter in the ship, he
thought that, altogether, he saw his way very clear.  But to make
certain of it, as soon as the hands had been piped down he begged the
clerk to let him have a copy of the articles.

Now the clerk had three, being the allowance of the ship, or at least
all that he had in his possession, and made some demur at parting with
one; but at last he proposed--"some rascal," as he said, having stolen
his tooth-brush--that if Jack would give him one he would give him one
of the copies of the articles of war.  Jack replied that the one he
had in use was very much worn, and that unfortunately he had but one
new one, which he could not spare. Thereupon the clerk, who was a very
clean personage, and could not bear that his teeth should be dirty,
agreed to accept the one in use, as Jack could not part with the
other.  The exchange was made, and Jack read the articles of war over
and over again, till he thought he was fully master of them.

"Now," says Jack, "I know what I am to do, and what I am to expect,
and these articles of war I will carry in my pocket as long as I'm in
the service; that is to say, if they last so long: and provided they
do not, I am able to replace them with another old tooth-brush, which
appears to be the value attached to them."

The Harpy remained a fortnight in Gibraltar Bay, and Jack had
occasionally a run on shore, and Mr Asper invariably went with him to
keep him out of mischief; that is to say, he allowed him to throw his
money away on no one more worthless than himself.

One morning Jack went down in the berth, and found young Gossett
blubbering.

"What's the matter, my dear Mr Gossett?" inquired Jack, who was just
as polite to the youngster as he was to anybody else.

"Vigors has been thrashing me with a rope's end," replied Gossett,
rubbing his arm and shoulders.

"What for?" inquired Jack. "Because he says the service is going to
hell--(I'm sure it's no fault of mine)--and that now all subordination
is destroyed, and that upstarts join the ship who, because they have a
five-pound note in their pocket, are allowed to do just as they
please.  He said he was determined to uphold the service, and then he
knocked me down--and when I got up again he told me that I could stand
a little more--and then he took out his colt, and said he was
determined to ride the high horse--and that there should be no
Equality Jack in future."

"Well," replied Jack. "And then he colted me for half an hour, and
that's all."

"By de soul of my fader, but it all for true, Massa Easy--he larrup
um, sure enough--all for noting, bad luck to him--I tink," continued
Mesty, "he hab debelish bad memory--and he want a little more of
Equality Jack."

"And he shall have it too," replied our hero; "why it's against the
articles of war, 'all quarrelling, fighting, &c.' I say, Mr Gossett,
have you got the spirit of a louse?"

"Yes," replied Gossett.

"Well, then, will you do what I tell you next time, and trust to me
for protection?"

"I don't care what I do," replied the boy, "if you will back me
against the cowardly tyrant?"

"Do you refer to me?" cried Vigors, who had stopped at the door of the
berth.

"Say yes," said Jack. "Yes, I do," cried Gossett.

"You do, do you?--well, then, my chick, I must trouble you with a
little more of this," said Vigors, drawing out his colt.

"I think that you had better not, Mr Vigors," observed Jack. "Mind
your own business, if you please," returned Vigors, not much liking
the interference.  "I am not addressing my conversation to you, and I
will thank you never to interfere with me.  I presume I have a right
to choose my own acquaintance, and, depend upon it, it will not be
that of a leveller."

"All that is at your pleasure, Mr Vigors," replied Jack; "you have a
right to choose your own acquaintance, and so have I a right to choose
my own friends, and, further, to support them.  That lad is my friend,
Mr Vigors."

"Then," replied Vigors, who could not help bullying even at the risk
of another combat which he probably intended to stand, "I shall take
the liberty of giving your friend a thrashing"; and he suited the
action to the word.

"Then I shall take the liberty to defend my friend," replied Jack;
"and as you call me a leveller, I'll try if I may not deserve the
name" whereupon Jack placed a blow so well under the ear, that Mr
Vigors dropped on the deck, and was not in a condition to come to the
scratch, even if he had been inclined.  "And now, youngster," said
Jack, wresting the colt out of Vigors' hand, "do as I bid you--give
him a good colting if you don't I'll thrash you."

Gossett required no second threat;--the pleasure of thrashing his
enemy, if only for once, was quite enough--and he laid well on. Jack
with his fists doubled ready to protect him if there was a show of
resistance, but Vigors was half stupefied with the blow under the ear,
and quite cowed; he took his thrashing in the most pensive manner.

"That will do," said Jack; "and now do not be afraid, Gossett; the
very first time he offers to strike you when I am not present, I will
pay him off for it as soon as you tell me.  I won't be called Equality
Jack for nothing."

When Jolliffe, who heard of this, met our hero alone, he said to him,
"Take my advice, boy, and do not in future fight the battles of
others; you'll find very soon that you will have enough to do to fight
your own."

Whereupon Jack argued the point for half an hour, and then they
separated.  But Mr Jolliffe was right.  Jack began to find himself
constantly in hot water, and the captain and first lieutenant,
although they did not really withdraw their protection, thought it
high time that Jack should find out that, on board a man-of-war,
everybody and everything must find its level.

There was on board of his Majesty's sloop Harpy, a man of the name of
Easthupp, who did the duty of purser's steward; this was the second
ship that he had served in: in the former he had been sent with a
draft of men from the Tender lying off the Tower.  How he had come
into the service was not known in the present ship; but the fact was,
that he had been one of the swell mob--and had been sent on board the
Tender with a letter of recommendation from the magistrates to Captain
Crouch.  He was a cockney by birth, for he had been left at the
work-house of St Mary Axe, where he had been taught to read and write,
and had afterwards made his escape.  He joined the juvenile thieves of
the metropolis, had been sent to Bridewell, obtained his liberty, and
by degrees had risen from petty thieving of goods exposed outside of
the shops and market-stalls, to the higher class of gentleman
pickpockets. His appearance was somewhat genteel, with a bullying sort
of an impudent air, which is mistaken for fashion by those who know no
better.  A remarkable neat dresser, for that was part of his
profession; a very plausible manner and address; a great fluency of
language, although he clipped the king's English; and, as he had
suffered more than once by the law, it is not to be wondered at, that
he was, as he called himself, a hout-and-hout radical. During the
latter part of his service, in his last ship, he had been employed
under the purser's steward, and having offered himself in this
capacity to the purser of H.M. sloop Harpy, with one or two forged
certificates, he had been accepted.

Now, when Mr Easthupp heard of Jack's opinion, he wished to cultivate
his acquaintance, and with a bow and a flourish, introduced himself
before they arrived at Gibraltar; but our hero took an immediate
dislike to this fellow from his excessive and impertinent familiarity.

Jack knew a gentleman when he met one, and did not choose to be a
companion to a man beneath him in every way, but who, upon the
strength of Jack's liberal opinions, presumed to be his equal. Jack's
equality did not go so far as that; in theory it was all very well,
but in practice it was only when it suited his own purpose.

But the purser's steward was not to be checked--a man who has belonged
to the swell mob is not easily repulsed; and, although Jack would
plainly show him that his company was not agreeable, Easthupp would
constantly accost him familiarly on the forecastle and lower deck,
with his arms folded, and with an air almost amounting to familiarity.
At last, Jack told him to go about his business and not presume to
talk to him; whereupon Easthupp rejoined, and after an exchange of
hard words, it ended by Jack kicking Mr Easthupp, as he called
himself, down the after--lower-deck hatchway. This was but a sorry
specimen of Jack's equality--and Mr Easthupp, who considered that his
honour had been compromised, went up to the captain on the
quarter-deck and lodged his complaint--whereupon Captain Wilson
desired that Mr Easy might be summoned.

As soon as Jack made his appearance, Captain Wilson called to
Easthupp.  "Now, purser's steward, what is this you have to say?"

"If you please, Captain Vilson, I am wery sorry to be obliged to make
hany complaint of hany hofficer, but this Mr Heasy thought proper to
make use of language quite hunbecoming of a gentleman, and then to
kick me as I vent down the atchvay."

"Well, Mr Easy, is this true?" "Yes, sir," replied Jack; "I have
several times told the fellow not to address himself to me, and he
will. I did tell him he was a radical blackguard, and I did kick him
down the hatchway."

"You told him he was a radical blackguard, Mr Easy?" "Yes, sir, he
comes bothering me about his republic, and asserting that we have no
want of a king and aristocracy."

Captain Wilson looked significantly at Mr Sawbridge. "I certainly did
hoffer my political opinions, Captain Vilson; but you must be avare
that ve hall ave an hequal stake in the country--and it's a
Hinglishman's birthright."

"I'm not aware what your stake in the country may be, Mr Easthupp,"
observed Captain Wilson, "but I think that, if you used such
expressions, Mr Easy was fully warranted in telling you his opinion."

"I ham villing, Captain Vilson, to make hany hallowance for the eat of
political discussion--but that is not hall that I ave to complain hof.
Mr Heasy thought proper to say that I was a swindler and a liar."

"Did you make use of those expressions, Mr Easy?"

"Yes, sir, he did," continued the steward; "and, moreover, told me not
to cheat   the men, and not to cheat my master, the purser. Now,
Captain Vilson, is it not true that I am in a wery hostensible
sitevation? but I flatter myself that I ave been vell edecated, and
vos wonce moving in a wery different society--misfortains vill appin
to us hall, and I feel my character has been severely injured by such
importations"; whereupon Mr Easthupp took out his handkerchief,
flourished, and blew his nose. "I told Mr Heasy, that I considered
myself quite as much of a gentleman as himself, and at hall hewents
did not keep company with a black feller (Mr Heasy will hunderstand
the insinevation); vereupon Mr Heasy, as I before said, your vorship,
I mean you, Captain Vilson, thought proper to kick me down the
atchvay."

"Very well, steward, I have heard your complaint, and now you may go."
Mr Easthupp took his hat off with an air, made his bow, and went down
the main ladder.

"Mr Easy," said Captain Wilson, "you must be aware that by the
regulations of the service by which we are all equally bound, it is
not permitted that any officer shall take the law into his own hands.
Now, although I do not consider it necessary to make any remark as to
your calling the man a radical blackguard, for I consider his
impertinent intrusion of his opinions deserved it, still you have no
right to attack any man's character without grounds--and as that man
is in an office of trust, you were not at all warranted in asserting
that he was a cheat.  Will you explain to me why you made use of such
language?"

Now our hero had no proofs against the man; he had nothing to offer in
extenuation, until he recollected, all at once, the reason assigned by
the captain for the language used by Mr Sawbridge.  Jack had the wit
to perceive that it would hit home, so he replied, very quietly and
respectfully:

"If you please, Captain Wilson, that was all zeal."

"Zeal, Mr Easy? I think it but a bad excuse.  But pray, then, why did
you kick the man down the hatchway?--you must have known that that was
contrary to the rules of the service."

"Yes, sir," replied Jack, demurely; "but that was all zeal, too."

"Then allow me to say," replied Captain Wilson, biting his lips, "that
I think that your zeal has in this instance been very much misplaced,
and I trust you will not show so much again."

"And yet, sir," replied Jack, aware that he was giving the captain a
hard hit, and therefore looked proportionally humble, "we should do
nothing in the service without it--and I trust one day, as you told
me, to become a very zealous officer."

"I trust so, too, Mr Easy," replied the captain.  "There, you may go
now, and let me hear no more of kicking people down the hatchway. That
sort of zeal is misplaced."

"More than my foot was, at all events," muttered Jack, as he walked
off.

Captain Wilson, as soon as our hero disappeared, laughed heartily, and
told Mr Sawbridge, "he had ascribed his language to our hero as all
zeal.  He has very cleverly given me it all back again; and really,
Sawbridge, as it proves how weak was my defence of you, you may gain
from this lesson."

Sawbridge thought so, too--but both agreed that Jack's rights of man
were in considerable danger.

The day before the ship sailed, the captain and Mr Asper dined with
the Governor; and as there was little more to do, Mr Sawbridge, who
had not quitted the ship since she had been in port, and had some few
purchases to make, left her in the afternoon in the charge of Mr
Smallsole, the master.  Now, as we have observed, he was Jack's
inveterate enemy--indeed Jack had already made three, Mr Smallsole, Mr
Biggs, the boatswain, and Easthupp, the purser's steward. Mr Smallsole
was glad to be left in command, as he hoped to have an opportunity of
punishing our hero, who certainly laid himself not a little open to
it.

Like all those who are seldom in command, the master was
proportionally tyrannical and abusive--he swore at the men, made them
do the duty twice and thrice over, on the pretence that it was not
smartly done, and found fault with every officer remaining on board.

"Mr Biggs--by God, sir, you seem to be all asleep forward. I suppose
you think that you are to do nothing now the first lieutenant is out
of the ship?  How long will it be, sir, before you are ready to sway
away?"

"By de holy poker, I tink he sway away finely, Massy Easy," observed
Mesty, who was in converse with our hero on the forecastle.

Mr Smallsole's violence made Mr Biggs violent, which made the
boatswain's mate violent--and the captain of the forecastle violent
also; all which is practically exemplified by philosophy in the laws
of motion, communicated from one body to another; and as Mr Smallsole
swore, so did the boatswain swear.  Also the boatswain's mate, the
captain of the forecastle, and all the men--showing the force of
example.

Mr Smallsole came forward.

"Damnation, Mr Biggs, what the devil are you about?  Can't you move
here?"

"As much as we can, sir," replied the boatswain, "lumbered as the
forecastle is with idlers."  And here Mr Biggs looked at our hero and
Mesty, who were standing against the bulwark.

"What are you doing here, sir?" cried Mr Smallsole to our hero.

"Nothing at all, sir?" replied Jack.

"Then I'll give you something to do, sir.  Go up to the mast-head, and
wait there till I call you down.  Come, sir, I'll show you the way,"
continued the master, walking aft.  Jack followed till they were on
the quarter-deck.

"Now, sir, up to the main-top gallant mast-head; perch yourself upon
the cross-trees--up with you."

"What am I to go up there for, sir?" inquired Jack.

"For punishment, sir," replied the master.

"What have I done, sir?"

"No reply, sir--up with you."

"If you please, sir," replied Jack, "I should wish to argue this point
a little."

"Argue the point!" roared Mr Smallsole--"By Jove, I'll teach you to
argue the point--away with you, sir."

"If you please, sir," continued Jack, "the captain told me that the
articles of war were the rules and regulations by which everyone in
the service was to be guided.  Now, sir," said Jack, "I have read them
over till I know them by heart, and there is not one word of
mastheading in the whole of them." Here Jack took the articles out of
his pocket, and unfolded them.

"Will you go to the mast-head, sir, or will you not?" said Mr
Smallsole. "Will you show me the mast-head in the articles of war,
sir?" replied Jack; "here they are."

"I tell you, sir, to go to the mast-head: if not, I'll be d---d if I
don't hoist you up in a bread-bag."

"There's nothing about bread-bags in the articles of war, sir,"
replied Jack; "but I'll tell you what there is, sir"; and Jack
commenced reading,--

"All flag-officers, and all persons in or belonging to his Majesty's
ships or vessels of war, being guilty of profane oaths, execrations,
drunkenness, uncleanness, or other scandalous actions, in derogation
of God's honour and corruption of good manners, shall incur such
punishment as--"

"Damnation," cried the master, who was mad with rage, hearing that the
whole ship's company were laughing.

"No, sir, not damnation," replied Jack, "that's when he's tried above;
but according to the nature and degree of the offence."

"Will you go to the mast-head, sir, or will you not?"

"If you please," replied Jack, "I'd rather not."

"Then, sir, consider yourself under an arrest--I'll try you by a
court-martial, by God.  Go down below, sir."

"With the greatest pleasure, sir," replied Jack, "that's all right and
according to the articles of war, which are to guide us all." Jack
folded up his articles of war, put them into his pocket, and went down
into the berth.

Soon after Jack had gone down, Jolliffe, who had heard the whole of
the altercation, followed him: "My lad," said Jolliffe, "I'm sorry for
all this; you should have gone to the mast-head."

"I should like to argue that point a little," replied Jack. "Yes, so
would everybody; but if that were permitted, the service would be at a
stand-still--that would not do;--you must obey an order first, and
then complain afterwards, if the order is unjust."

"It is not so in the articles of war."

"But it is so in the service."

"The captain told me that the articles of war were the guides of the
service, and we were all equally bound to obey them."

"Well, but allowing that, I do not think your articles of war will
bear you out.  You observe, they say any officer, mariner, etc, guilty
of disobedience to any lawful command.  Now are you not guilty under
that article?"

"That remains to be argued still," replied Jack.  "A lawful command
means an order established by law; now where is that law?--besides,
the captain told me when I kicked that blackguard down the hatchway,
that there was only the captain who could punish, and that officers
could not take the law into their own hands; why then has the master?"

"His doing wrong as superior officer is no reason why you as an
inferior should disobey him.  If that were permitted,--if every order
were to be cavilled at, and argued upon, as just or unjust, there
would be an end of all discipline.  Besides, recollect that in the
service there is custom, which is the same as law."

"That admits of a little argument," replied Jack.

"The service will admit of none, my dear boy: recollect that, even on
shore, we have two laws, that which is written, and the 'lex non
scripta,' which is custom; of course we have it in the service, for
the articles of war cannot provide for everything."

"They provide a court-martial for everything though," replied Jack.

"Yes, with death or dismissal from the service--neither of which would
be very agreeable.  You have got yourself into a scrape, and although
the captain is evidently your friend, he cannot overlook it:
fortunately, it is with the master, which is of less consequence than
with the other officers; but still you will have to submit, for the
captain cannot overlook it."

"I'll tell you what, Jolliffe," replied Jack, "my eyes now begin to be
opened to a great many things.  The captain tells me, when I am
astonished at bad language, that it is all zeal, and then I found out
that what is all zeal in a superior to an inferior, is insolence when
reversed.  He tells me, that the articles of war are made to equally
guide us all--the master breaks what is positively mentioned in the
second article twenty times over, and goes scot free, while I am to be
punished because I do not comply with what the articles do not
mention.  How was I to know that I ought to go to the mast-head for
punishment? particularly when the captain tells me that he alone is to
punish in the ship. If I obey an order in opposition to the captain's
order, is not that as bad as disobeying the captain?  I think that I
have made out a very strong case, and my arguments are not to be
confuted."

"I am afraid that the master will make out a very strong case, and
that your arguments will never be heard."

"That will be contrary to all the rules of justice." "But according to
all the rules of service."

"I do believe that I am a great fool," observed Jack, after a pause.
"What do you imagine made me come to sea, Jolliffe?"

"Because you did not know when you were well off," replied the mate,
drily.

"That's true enough; but my reason was, because I thought I should
find that equality here that I could not find on shore." Jolliffe
stared. "My dear boy, I heard you say that you obtained those opinions
from your father; I mean no disrespect to him, but he must be either
mad or foolish, if at his age he has not discovered, that there is no
such thing in existence."

"I begin to think so," replied Jack; "but that does not prove that
there ought not to be."

"I beg your pardon; the very non-existence proves that it ought not to
be--'whatever is, is right', you might as well expect to find perfect
happiness or perfection in the individual.  Your father must be a
visionary."

"The best thing that I can do is to go home again."

"No, my dear Easy, the best thing that you can do is, to stay in the
service, for it will soon put an end to all such nonsensical ideas;
and it will make you a clever, sensible fellow.  The service is a
rough, but a good school, where everybody finds his level,--not the
level of equality, but the level which his natural talent and
acquirements will rise or sink him to, in proportion as they are plus
or minus.  It is a noble service, but has its imperfections, as
everything in this world must have. I have little reason to speak in
its favour, as far as I am concerned, for it has been hard bread to
me; but there must be exceptions in every rule.  Do not think of
quitting the service until you have given it a fair trial.  I am aware
that you are an only son, and your father is a man of property, and,
therefore, in the common parlance of the world, you are independent;
but, believe me, no man, however rich, is independent, unless he has a
profession, and you will find no better than this, notwithstanding--"

"What?"

"That you will be, most certainly, sent to the mast-head to-morrow."

"We'll argue that point," replied Jack; "at all events, I will go and
turn in to-night."




CHAPTER XIII

In which our hero begins to act and think for himself.


Whatever may have been Jack's thoughts, at all events they did not
spoil his rest.  He possessed in himself all the materials of a true
philosopher, but there was a great deal of weeding still required.
Joliffe's arguments, sensible as they were, had very little effect
upon him; for, strange to say, it is much more easy to shake a man's
opinions when he is wrong, than when he is right; proving that we are
all of a very perverse nature.  "Well," thought Jack, "if I am to go
to the mast-head, I am, that's all; but it does not prove that my
arguments are not good, only that they will not be listened to"; and
then Jack shut his eyes, and in a few minutes was fast asleep.

The master had reported to the first lieutenant, and the first
lieutenant to the captain, when he came on board the next morning, the
conduct of Mr Easy, who was sent for in the cabin, to hear if he had
anything to offer in extenuation of his offence.  Jack made an
oration, which lasted more than half an hour, in which all the
arguments he had brought forward to Jolliffe in the preceding chapter
were entered fully into.  Mr Jolliffe was then examined, and also Mr
Smallsole was interrogated: after which the captain and the first
lieutenant were left alone.

"Sawbridge," said Captain Wilson, "How true it is that any deviation
from what is right invariably leads us into a scrape. I have done
wrong: wishing to get this boy out of his father's hands, and fearful
that he would not join the ship, and imagining him to be by no means
the shrewd fellow that he is in reality, I represented the service in
a much more favourable light than I should have done; all that he says
I told him I did tell him, and it is I who really led the boy into
error. Mr Smallsole has behaved tyrannically and unjustly; he punished
the lad for no crime; so that between the master and me, I am now on
the horns of a dilemma.  If I punish the boy, I feel that I am
punishing him more for my own fault and the fault of others, than his
own.  If I do not punish him, I allow a flagrant and open violation of
discipline to pass uncensured, which will be injurious to the service."

"He must be punished, sir," replied Sawbridge.

"Send for him," said the captain.

Jack made his appearance, with a very polite bow.

"Mr Easy, as you suppose that the articles of war contained all the
rules and regulations of the service, I take it for granted that you
have erred through ignorance.  But recollect, that although you have
erred through ignorance, such a violation of discipline, if passed
unnoticed, will have a very injurious effect with the men, whose
obedience is enforced by the example shown to them by the officers. I
feel so convinced of your zeal, which you showed the other day in the
case of Easthupp, that I am sure you will see the propriety of my
proving to the men, by punishing you, that discipline must be
enforced, and I shall therefore send for you on the quarter-deck, and
order you to go to the mast-head in presence of the ship's company, as
it was in presence of the ship's company that you refused."

"With the greatest pleasure, Captain Wilson," replied Jack.

"And in future, Mr Easy, although I shall ever set my face against it,
recollect that if any officer punishes you, and you imagine that you are
unfairly treated, you will submit to the punishment, and then apply to
me for redress."

"Certainly, sir," replied Jack, "now that I am aware of your wishes."

"You will oblige me, Mr Easy, by going on the quarter-deck, and wait
there till I come up." Jack made his best bow, and exit.

"Old Jolliffe told me that I should have to go," said Jack to himself,
"and he was right, so far; but hang me if I hadn't the best of the
argument, and that's all I care about."

Captain Wilson sent for the master, and reprimanded him for his
oppression, as it was evident that there was no ground for punishment,
and he forbade him ever to mast-head another midshipman, but to report
his conduct to the first lieutenant or himself.  He then proceeded to
the quarter-deck, and, calling for Mr Easy, gave him what appeared to
be a very severe reprimand, which Jack looked upon very quietly,
because it was all zeal on the captain's part to give it, and all zeal
on his own to take it.  Our hero was then ordered up to the mast-head.

Jack took off his hat, and took three or four steps, in obedience to
the order--and then returned and made his best bow--inquired of
Captain Wilson whether he wished him to go to the fore or to the
mainmast head.

"To the main, Mr Easy," replied the captain, biting his lips. Jack
ascended three spokes of the Jacob's ladder, when he again stopped,
and took off his hat.

"I beg your pardon, Captain Wilson-you have not informed me whether it
was your wish that I should go to the topmast, or the top-gallant
cross-trees."

"To the top-gallant cross-trees, Mr Easy," replied the captain.

Jack ascended, taking it very easy; he stopped at the main-top for
breath; at the main-topmast head, to look about him; and, at last,
gained the spot agreed upon, where he seated himself, and, taking out
the articles of war, commenced them again to ascertain whether he
could not have strengthened his arguments.  He had not, however, read
through the seventh article before the hands were turned up--"Up
anchor!" and Mr Sawbridge called, "All hands down from aloft!" Jack
took the hint, folded up his documents, and came down as leisurely as
he went up.  Jack was a much better philosopher than his father.

The Harpy was soon under way, and made all sail, steering for Cape de
Catte, where Captain Wilson hoped to pick up a Spanish vessel or two,
on his way to Toulon to receive orders of the Admiral.

A succession of light breezes and calms rendered the passage very
tedious; but the boats were constantly out, chasing the vessels along
shore, and Jack usually asked to be employed on this service; indeed,
although so short a time afloat, he was, from his age and strength,
one of the most effective midshipmen, and to be trusted, provided a
whim did not come into his head; but hitherto Jack had always been
under orders, and had always acquitted himself very well.

When the Harpy was at Tarragona, it so happened that there were
several cases of dysentery in the ship, and Mr Asper and Mr Jolliffe
were two of those who were suffering.  This reduced the number of
officers; and, at the same time, they had received information from
the men of a fishing-boat, who, to obtain their own release, had given
the intelligence, that a small convoy was coming down from Rosas as
soon as the wind was fair, under the protection of two gun-boats.

Captain Wilson kept well off-shore until the wind changed, and then,
allowing for the time that the vessels would take to run down the
distance between Tarragona and Rosas, steered in the night to
intercept them; but it again fell calm, and the boats were therefore
hoisted out, with directions to proceed along the shore, as it was
supposed that the vessels could not now be far distant.  Mr Sawbridge
had the command of the expedition in the pinnace; the first cutter was
in charge of the gunner, Mr Linus; and, as the other officers were
sick, Mr Sawbridge, who liked Jack more and more every day, at his
particular request gave him the command of the second cutter. As soon
as he heard of it, Mesty declared to our hero that he would go with
him; but without permission that was not possible.  Jack obtained
leave for Mesty to go in lieu of a marine; there were many men sick of
the dysentery, and Mr Sawbridge was not sorry to take an idler out of
the ship instead of a working man, especially as Mesty was known to be
a good hand.

It was ten o'clock at night when the boats quitted the ship; and, as
it was possible that they might not return till late the next day, one
day's biscuit and rum were put on board each, that the crews might not
suffer from exhaustion.  The boats pulled in-shore, and then coasted
for three hours without seeing anything: the night was fine overhead,
but there was no moon.  It still continued calm, and the men began to
feel fatigued, when, just as they were within a mile of a low point,
they perceived the convoy over the land, coming down with their sails
squared, before a light breeze.

Mr Sawbridge immediately ordered the boats to lie upon their oars,
awaiting their coming, and arranging for the attack.

The white lateen sails of the gun-boat in advance were now plainly
distinguishable from the rest, which were all huddled together in her
wake.  Down she came like a beautiful swan in the water, her sails
just filled with the wind, and running about three knots an hour.  Mr
Sawbridge kept her three masts in one, that they might not be
perceived, and winded the boats with their heads the same way, so that
they might dash on board of her with a few strokes of the oars.  So
favourable was the course of the gun-boat, that she stood right
between the launch on one bow, and the two cutters on the other; and
they were not perceived until they were actually alongside; the
resistance was trifling, but some muskets and pistols had been fired,
and the alarm was given.  Mr Sawbridge took possession, with the crew
of the launch, and brought the vessel to the wind, as he perceived
that at the alarm all the convoy had done the same, directing the
cutters to board the largest vessels, and secure as many as they
could, while he would do the same with the launch, as he brought them
to: but the other gun-boat, which had not yet been seen, and had been
forgotten, now made her appearance, and came down in a gallant manner
to the support of her comrade.

Mr Sawbridge threw half his men into the launch, as she carried a
heavy carronade, and sent her to assist the cutters, which had made
right for the gun-boat.  A smart firing of round and grape was opened
upon the boats, which continued to advance upon her; but the officer
commanding that gun-boat, finding that he had no support from his
consort, and concluding that she had been captured, hauled his wind
again, and stood out in the offing.  Our hero pulled after her,
although he could not see the other boats; but the breeze had
freshened, and all pursuit was useless: he therefore directed his
course to the convoy, and after a hard pull, contrived to get on board
of a one-masted xebeque, of about fifty tons.  Mesty, who had eyes as
sharp as a needle, had observed that, when the alarm was given,
several of the convoy had not rounded the point, and he therefore
proposed, as this vessel was very light, that they should make short
tacks with her, to weather the point, as if they were escaping, and by
that means be able, particularly if it fell calm again, to capture
some others. Jack thought this advice good.  The convoy who had
rounded the point had all stood out to seaward with the gun-boat, and
had now a fresh breeze.  To chase them was therefore useless; and the
only chance was to do as Mesty had proposed.  He therefore stood out
into the breeze, and, after half an hour, tacked in-shore, and fetched
well to windward of the low point; but, finding no vessels, he stood
out again. Thus had he made three or four tacks, and had gained,
perhaps, six or seven miles, when he perceived signals of recall made
to leeward, enforced with guns.

"Mr Sawbridge wants us to come back, Mesty."

"Mr Sawbridge mind him own business," replied Mesty, "we nebber take
all dis trubble to ply to windward for noting."

"But, Mesty, we must obey orders."

"Yes, sar, when he have him thumb upon you; but now, must do what tink
most proper.  By de powers, he catch me 'fore I go back."

"But we shall lose the ship."

"Find her again, by-and-bye, Massa Easy."

"But they will think that we are lost."

"So much the better, nebba look after us, Massa Easy; I guess we have
a fine cruise anyhow.  Morrow we take large vessel--make sail, take
more, den we go to Toulon."

"But I don't know my way to Toulon; I know it lies up this way, and
that's all."

"Dat enough, what you want more?  Massa Easy, 'pose you not find
fleet, fleet soon find you.  By God, nobody nebba lost here.  Now,
Massa Easy, let um go 'bout 'gain.  Somebody else burn biscuit and
boil kettle to-morrow for de gentlemen.  Murder Irish! only tink,
Massa Easy--I boil kettle, and prince in my own country!"

Easy was very much of a mind with Mesty; "for," argued Jack, "if I go
back now, I only bring a small vessel half-full of beans, and I shall
be ashamed to show my face.  Now it is true, that they may suppose
that we have been sunk by the fire of the gun-boat.  Well, what then?
they have a gun-boat to show for their night's work, and it will
appear that there was harder fighting than there has been, and Mr
Sawbridge may benefit by it."  (Jack was a very knowing fellow to have
leant so much about the service already.) "Well, and when they
discover that we are not lost, how glad they will be to find us,
especially if we bring some prizes--which I will do, or I'll not go
back again.  It's not often that one gets a command before being two
months at sea, and, hang me, now I've got it if I won't keep it; and
Mr Smallsole may mast-head whom he pleases.  I'm sorry for poor
Gossett, though; if Vigors supposes me dead, how he will murder the
poor little fellow--however, it is all for the good of the service,
and I'll revenge him when I come back.  Hang me if I won't take a
cruise."

"I talk to the men, they say they all tick to you like leech. Now dat
job settled, I tink we better go 'bout again."

A short time after this decision on the part of our hero, the day
broke: Jack first looked to leeward, and perceived the gun-boat and
convoy standing in for the shore about ten miles distant, followed by
the Harpy, under all sail.  He could also perceive the captured
gun-boat lying-to in-shore to prevent their escape.

"Harpy hab um all, by Gosh!" cried Mesty; "I ab notion dat she soon
settle um hash."

They were so busy looking at the Harpy and the convoy that, for some
time, they quite forgot to look to windward.  At last Mesty turned his
eyes that way.

"Dam um, I see right last night; look, Massa Easy--one ship, one brig,
tree lateen--dem for us.  By de power, but we make bot prize
to-night."

The vessels found out by Mesty were not above three miles to windward;
they were under all sail, beating up for the protection of a battery,
not far distant.

"Now, Massa, suppose they see our boat, dey tink something; keep boat
alongside, and shift her when we go 'bout every time: better not sail
so fast now--keep further off till they drop anchor for de night; and
den, when it dark, we take 'em."

All Mesty's advice was good, with the exception perhaps of advising
our hero how to disobey orders and take a cruise.  To prevent the
vessel from approaching too near the others, and at the same time to
let her have the appearance of doing her best, a sail was towed
overboard under the bows, and after that they watched the motions of
the Harpy.

The distance was too great to distinguish very clearly, but Mesty
shinned up the mast of the vessel, and reported progress.

"By Jesus, dare one gun--two gun--go it, Harpy.  Won't she ab um, sure
enough.  Now gun-boat fire--dat our gun-boat--no, dat not ours. Now
our gun-boat fire--dat pretty--fire away.  Ah, now de Harpy cum up.
All'mung'em.  Bung, bung, bung--rattle de grape, by gosh. I ab notion
de Spaniard is very pretty considerable trouble just now, anyhow.  All
hove-to, so help me gosh--not more firing; Harpy take um all--dare
gun-boat hove-to, she strike um colours.  By all powers, but suppose
dey link we no share prize-money--they find it not little mistake.
Now, my lads, it all over, and," continued Mesty, sliding down the
mast, "I tink you better not show yourself too much; only two men stay
on deck, and dem two take off um jackets."

Mesty's report was correct; the Harpy had captured the other gun-boat,
and the whole convoy.  The only drawback to their good fortune was the
disappearance of Mr Easy and the cutter: it was supposed that a shot
from the gun-boat must have sunk her, and that the whole crew were
drowned.  Captain Wilson and Mr Sawbridge seriously regretted the loss
of our hero, as they thought that he would have turned out a shining
character as soon as he had sown his wild oats; so did Mr Asper,
because our hero's purse went with him; so did Jolliffe, because he
had taken an affection for him; so did little Gossett, because he
anticipated no mercy from Vigors.  On the other hand, there were some
who were glad that he was gone; and as for the ship's company in
general, they lamented the loss of the poor cutter's crew for
twenty-four hours, which, in a man-of-war, is a very long while, and
then they thought no more about them.  We must leave the Harpy to make
the best of her way to Toulon, and now follow our hero.

The cutter's crew knew very well that Jack was acting contrary to
orders, but anything was to them a change from the monotony of a
m

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