The Arabian Nights Entertainments — Volume 02
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Title: The Arabian Nights Entertainments — Volume 02
Translator: Jonathan Scott
Release date: May 1, 2004 [eBook #5665]
Most recently updated: June 28, 2026
Language: English
Other information and formats: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/5665
Credits: This eBook was produced by JC Byers
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ARABIAN NIGHTS ENTERTAINMENTS — VOLUME 02 ***
The "Aldine" Edition of
The Arabian Nights Entertainments
Illustrated by S. L. Wood
FROM THE TEXT OF DR. JONATHAN SCOTT
In Four Volumes
Volume 2
London
Pickering and Chatto
1890
Contents of Volume II.
The Story of the Little Hunch-Back
The Story Told by the Christian Merchant
The Story Told by the Sultan of Casgar's Purveyor
The Story Told by the Jewish Physician
The Story Told by the Tailor
The Story Told by the Barber
The Story Told by the Barber's Eldest Brother
The Story Told by the Barber's Second Brother
The Story Told by the Barber's Third Brother
The Story Told by the Barber's Fourth Brother
The Story Told by the Barber's Fifth Brother
The Story Told by the Barber's Sixth Brother
The History of Aboulhassen Ali Ebn Ecar, and Schemselnihar,
Favourite of Caliph Haroon Al Rusheed
The Story of the Loves of Kummir Al Zummaun, Prince of the Isles
of the Children of
Khaledan, and of Badoura, Princess of China
The Story of the Princes Amgiad and Assad
The Story of the Prince Amgiad and a Lady of the City of
Magicians
The Story of Noor Ad Deen and the Fair Persian
THE STORY OF THE LITTLE HUNCH-BACK.
There was in former times at Casgar, on the extreme boundaries of
Tartary, a tailor who had a pretty wife, whom he affectionately
loved, and by whom he was beloved with reciprocal tenderness. One
day while he was at work, a little hunch-back seated himself at
the shop door and began to sing, and play upon a tabor. The
tailor was pleased with his performance, and resolved to take him
to his house to entertain his wife: "This little fellow," said
he, "will divert us both this evening." He accordingly invited
him, and the other readily accepted the invitation: so the tailor
shut up his shop, and carried him home. Immediately after their
arrival the tailor's wife placed before them a good dish of fish;
but as the little man was eating, he unluckily swallowed a bone,
which, notwithstanding all that the tailor and his wife could do,
choked him. This accident greatly alarmed them both, dreading, if
the magistrates should hear of it, that they would be punished as
murderers. However, the husband devised a scheme to get rid of
the corpse. He reflected that a Jewish doctor lived just by, and
having formed his plan, his wife and he took the corpse, the one
by the feet and the other by the head, and carried it to the
physician's house. They knocked at the door, from which a steep
flight of stairs led to his chamber. The servant maid came down
without any light, and opening the door, asked what they wanted.
"Have the goodness," said the tailor, "to go up again, and tell
your master we have brought him a man who is very ill, and wants
his advice. Here," continued he, putting a piece of money into
her hand, "give him that beforehand, to convince him that we do
not mean to impose." While the servant was gone up to inform her
master, the tailor and his wife hastily conveyed the hunchbacked
corpse to the head of the stairs, and leaving it there, hurried
away.
In the mean time, the maid told the doctor, that a man and woman
waited for him at the door, desiring he would come down and look
at a sick man whom they had brought with them, and clapped into
his hand the money she had received. The doctor was transported
with joy; being paid beforehand, he thought it must needs be a
good patient, and should not be neglected. "Light, light," cried
he to the maid; "follow me quickly." As he spoke, he hastily ran
towards the head of the stairs without waiting for a light, and
came against the corpse with so much violence that he
precipitated it to the bottom, and had nearly fallen with it.
"Bring me a light," cried he to the maid; "quick, quick." At last
she brought one, and he went down stairs with her; but when he
saw that what he had kicked down was a dead man, he was so
frightened, that he invoked Moses, Aaron, Joshua, Esdras, and all
the other prophets of his nation. "Unhappy man that I am," said
he, "why did I attempt to come without a light! I have killed the
poor fellow who was brought to me to be cured: doubtless I am the
cause of his death, and unless Esdras's ass come to assist me, I
am ruined: Mercy on me, they will be here out of hand, and drag
me out of my house for a murderer."
Notwithstanding the perplexity and confusion into which he was
thrown, he had the precaution to shut his door, for fear any one
passing by should observe the accident of which he reckoned
himself to be the author. He then took the corpse into his wife's
chamber, who was ready to swoon at the sight. "Alas," cried she,
"we are utterly ruined and undone, unless we can devise some
expedient to get the corpse out of our house this night. If we
harbour it till morning we are lost. What a deplorable misfortune
is this! What have you done to kill this man?" "That is not now
the question," replied the Jew; "our business at present is, to
find a remedy for the evil which threatens us."
The doctor and his wife consulted how to dispose of the corpse
that night. The doctor racked his brain in vain, he could not
think of any stratagem to relieve his embarrassment; but his
wife, who was more fertile in invention, said, "A thought is just
come into my head; let us carry the corpse to the terrace of our
house, and throw it down the chimney of our Mussulmaun
neighbour."
This Mussulmaun was one of the sultan's purveyors for furnishing
oil, butter, and articles of a similar nature, and had a magazine
in his house, where the rats and mice made prodigious havoc.
The Jewish doctor approving the proposed expedient, the wife and
he took the little hunch-back up to the roof of the house; and
clapping ropes under his arm-pits, let him down the chimney into
the purveyor's chamber so dexterously that he stood upright
against the wall, as if he had been alive. When they found he had
reached the bottom, they pulled up the ropes, and left the corpse
in that posture. They were scarcely got down into their chamber,
when the purveyor, who had just returned from a wedding feast,
went into his room, with a lanthorn in his hand. He was not a
little surprised to discover a man standing in his chimney; but
being a stout fellow, and apprehending him to be a thief, he took
up a stick, and making straight up to the hunch-back, "Ah!" said
he, "I thought the rats and mice ate my butter and tallow; but it
is you who come down the chimney to rob me? However, I think you
will have no wish to come here again." Upon this he attacked
hunch-back, and struck him several times with his stick. The
corpse fell down flat on the ground, and the purveyor redoubled
his blows. But, observing that the body did not move, he stood a
little time to regard it; and then, perceiving it to be dead,
fear succeeded his anger. "Wretched man that I am," said he,
"what have I done! I have killed a man; alas, I have carried my
revenge too far. Good God, unless thou pity me my life is gone!
Cursed, ten thousand times accursed, be the fat and the oil that
occasioned me to commit so criminal an action." He stood pale and
thunderstruck; he fancied he already saw the officers come to
drag him to condign punishment, and could not tell what
resolution to take.
The sultan of Casgar's purveyor had never noticed the little
man's hump-back when he was beating him, but as soon as he
perceived it, he uttered a thousand imprecations against him.
"Ah, thou cursed hunch-back," cried he, "thou crooked wretch,
would to God thou hadst robbed me of all my fat, and I had not
found thee here. I then should not have been thrown into this
perplexity on account of this and thy vile hunch. Ye stars that
twinkle in the heavens, give your light to none but me in this
dangerous juncture." As soon as he had uttered these words, he
took the crooked corpse upon his shoulders, and carried it to the
end of the street, where he placed it in an upright posture
against a shop; he then returned without once looking behind him.
A few minutes before day-break, a Christian merchant, who was
very rich, and furnished the sultan's palace with various
articles, having sat up all night at a debauch, happened to come
from his house in this direction on his way to the bath. Though
he was intoxicated, he was sensible that the night was far spent,
and that the people would soon be called to morning prayers; he
therefore quickened his pace to get to the bath in time, lest
some Mussulmaun, in his way to the mosque, should meet him and
carry him to prison for a drunkard. When he came to the end of
the street, he had occasion to stop by the shop where the
sultan's purveyor had put the hunch-backed corpse; which being
jostled by him, tumbled upon the merchant's back. The merchant
thinking he was attacked by a robber, knocked it down, and after
redoubling his blows, cried out "Thieves!"
The outcry alarmed the watch, who came up immediately, and
finding a Christian beating a Mussulmaun (for hump-back was of
our religion), "What reason have you," said he, "to abuse a
Mussulmaun in this manner?" "He would have robbed me," replied
the merchant, "and jumped upon my back in order to take me by the
throat." "If he did," said the watch, "you have revenged yourself
sufficiently; come, get off him." At the same time he stretched
out his hand to help little hump-back up, but observing he was
dead, "Oh!" said he, "is it thus that a Christian dares to
assassinate a Mussulmaun?" So saying, he laid hold of the
Christian, and carried him to the house of the officer of the
police, where he was kept till the judge was stirring, and ready
to examine him. In the mean time, the Christian merchant became
sober, and the more he reflected upon his adventure, the less
could he conceive how such slight blows of his fist could have
killed the man.
The judge having heard the report of the watch, and viewed the
corpse, which they had taken care to bring to his house,
interrogated the Christian merchant, who could not deny the
crime, though he had not committed it. But the judge considering
that little hump-back belonged to the sultan, for he was one of
his buffoons, would not put the Christian to death till he knew
the sultan's pleasure. For this end he went to the palace, and
acquainted the sultan with what had happened; and received this
answer: "I have no mercy to show to a Christian who kills a
Mussulmaun." Upon this the judge ordered a stake to be prepared,
and sent criers all over the city to proclaim that they were
about to impale a Christian for killing a Mussulmaun.
At length the merchant was brought to the place of execution; and
the executioner was about to do his duty, when the sultan's
purveyor pushed through the crowd, calling to him to stop for
that the Christian had not committed the murder, but he himself
had done it. Upon that, the officer who attended the execution
began to question the purveyor, who told him every circumstance
of his having killed the little hunchback, and how he had
conveyed his corpse to the place where the Christian merchant had
found it. "You were about," added he, "to put to death an
innocent person; for how can he be guilty of the death of a man
who was dead before he touched him? It is enough for me to have
killed a Mussulmaun without loading my conscience with the death
of a Christian who is not guilty."
The sultan of Casgar's purveyor having publicly charged himself
with the death of the little hunchbacked man, the officer could
do no less than execute justice on the merchant. "Let the
Christian go," said he to the executioner, "and impale this man
in his stead, since it appears by his own confession that he is
guilty." Thereupon the executioner released the merchant, and
seized the purveyor; but just as he was going to impale him, he
heard the voice of the Jewish doctor, earnestly intreating him to
suspend the execution, and make room for him to approach.
When he appeared before the judge, "My lord," said he, "this
Mussulmaun you are going to execute is not guilty. I am the
criminal. Last night a man and a woman, unknown to me, came to my
door with a sick man; my maid went and opened it without a light,
and received from them a piece of money with a commission to come
and desire me, in their name, to step down and look at the
patient. While she was delivering her message, they conveyed the
sick person to the stair-head, and disappeared. I went, without
staying till my servant had lighted a candle, and in the dark
happened to stumble upon the sick person, and kick him down
stairs. At length I saw he was dead, and that it was the crooked
Mussulmaun whose death you are now about to avenge. My wife and I
took the corpse, and, after conveying it up to the roof of the
purveyor, our next neighbour, whom you were going to put to death
unjustly, let it down the chimney into his chamber. The purveyor
finding it in his house, took the little man for a thief, and
after beating him concluded he had killed him. But that it was
not so you will be convinced by this my deposition; I am the sole
author of the murder; and though it was committed undesignedly, I
am resolved to expiate my crime, that I may not have to charge
myself with the death of two Mussulmauns."
The chief justice being persuaded that the Jewish doctor was the
murderer, gave orders to the executioner to seize him and release
the purveyor. Accordingly the doctor was just going to be
impaled, when the tailor appeared, crying to the executioner to
hold his hand, and make room for him, that he might come and make
his confession to the chief judge. Room being made, "My lord,"
said he, "you have narrowly escaped taking away the lives of
three innocent persons; but if you will have the patience to hear
me, I will discover to you the real murderer of the crook backed
man. If his death is to be expiated by another, that must be
mine. Yesterday, towards the evening, as I was at work in my
shop, and was disposed to be merry, the little hunch-back came to
my door half-drunk, and sat down. He sung a little, and so I
invited him to pass the evening at my house. He accepted the
invitation and went in with me. We sat down to supper and I gave
him a plate of fish; but in eating, a bone stuck in his throat,
and though my wife and I did our utmost to relieve him, he died
in a few minutes. His death afflicted us extremely, and for fear
of being charged with it, we carried the corpse to the Jewish
doctor's house and knocked. The maid came. and opened the door; I
desired her to go up again and ask her master to come down and
give his advice to a sick person whom we had brought along with
us; and withal, to encourage him, I charged her to give him a
piece of money, which I put into her hand. When she was gone, I
carried the hunch-back up stairs, and laid him upon the uppermost
step, and then my wife and I made the best of our way home. The
doctor coming, threw the corpse down stairs, and concluded
himself to be the author of his death. This being the case,"
continued he, "release the doctor, and let me die in his stead."
The chief justice, and all the spectators, wondered at the
strange events which had ensued upon the death of the little
hunch-back. "Let the Jewish doctor go," said the judge, "and
seize the tailor, since he confesses the crime. It is certain
this history is very uncommon, and deserves to be recorded in
letters of gold." The executioner having dismissed the doctor
prepared to impale the tailor.
While the executioner was making ready to impale the tailor, the
sultan of Casgar, wanting the company of his crooked jester,
asked where he was; and one of his officers told him; "The hunch-
back, Sir, whom you inquire after, got drunk last night, and
contrary to his custom slipped out of the palace, and went
strolling about the city, and this morning was found dead. A man
was brought before the chief justice, and charged with the murder
of him; but when he was going to be impaled, up came a man, and
after him another, who took the charge upon themselves and
cleared one another, and the judge is now examining a third, who
gives himself out for the real author of the murder."
Upon this intelligence the sultan of Casgar sent an officer to
the place of execution. "Go," said he, "with all expedition, and
tell the judge to bring the accused persons before me immediately
and bring also the corpse of poor hunch-back, that I may see him
once more." Accordingly the officer went, and happened to arrive
at the place of execution at the very time that the executioner
had laid his hands upon the tailor. He called aloud to him to
suspend the execution. The executioner knowing the officer, did
not dare to proceed, but released the tailor; and then the
officer acquainted the judge with the sultan's pleasure. The
judge obeyed, and went directly to the palace accompanied by the
tailor, the Jewish doctor, and the Christian merchant; and made
four of his men carry the hunch-backed corpse along with him.
When they appeared in the sultan's presence, the judge threw
himself at the prince's feet and after recovering himself, gave
him a faithful relation of what he knew of the story of the
hunch-backed man. The story appeared so extraordinary to the
sultan, that he ordered his own historian to write it down with
all its circumstances. Then addressing himself to the audience;
"Did you ever hear," said he, "such a surprising event as has
happened on the account of my little crooked buffoon?" The
Christian merchant, after falling down, and touching the earth
with his forehead, spoke as follows: "Most puissant monarch, I
know a story yet more astonishing than this; if your majesty will
give me leave, I will relate it. The circumstances are such, that
no one can hear them without emotion." "Well," said the sultan,
"you have my permission:" and the merchant went on as follows:
The Story told by the Christian Merchant.
Sir, before I commence the recital of the story you have
permitted me to relate, I beg leave to acquaint you, that I have
not the honour to be born in any part of your majesty's empire. I
am a stranger, born at Cairo in Egypt, a Copt by nation, and by
religion a Christian. My father was a broker, and realized
considerable property, which he left me at his death. I followed
his example, and pursued the same employment. While I was
standing in the public inn frequented by the corn merchants,
there came up to me a handsome young man, well dressed, and
mounted on an ass. He saluted me, and pulling out a handkerchief,
in which he had a sample of sesame or Turkey corn, asked me how
much a bushel of such sesame would fetch.
I examined the corn the young man shewed me, and told him it was
worth a hundred dirhems of silver per bushel. "Pray," said he,
"look out for some merchant to take it at that price, and come to
me at the Victory gate, where you will see a khan at a distance
from the houses." So saying, he left me the sample, and I shewed
it to several merchants, who told me, that they would take as
much as I could spare at a hundred and ten dirhems per bushel, so
that I reckoned on getting ten dirhems per bushel for my
commission. Full of the expectation of this profit, I went to the
Victory gate, where I found the young merchant expecting me, and
he took me into his granary, which was full of sesame. He had
then a hundred and fifty bushels, which I measured out, and
having carried them off upon asses, sold them for five thousand
dirhems of silver. "Out of this sum," said the young man, "there
are five hundred dirhems coming to you, at the rate of ten
dirhems per bushel. This I give you; and as for the rest which
pertains to me, take it out of the merchants' hands, and keep it
till I call or send for it, for I have no occasion for it at
present." I answered, it should be ready for him whenever he
pleased to demand it; and so, kissing his hand, took leave of
him, with a grateful sense of his generosity.
A month passed before he came near me: then he asked for the sum
he had committed to my trust. I told him it was ready, and should
be counted to him immediately. He was mounted on his ass, and I
desired him to alight, and do me the honour to eat a mouthful
with me before he received his money. "No," said he, "I cannot
alight at present, I have urgent business that obliges me to be
at a place just by; but I will return this way, and then take the
money which I desired you would have in readiness." This said, he
disappeared, and I still expected his return, but it was a full
month before I saw him again. "This young merchant," thought I,
"has great confidence in me, leaving so great a sum in my hands
without knowing me; any other man would have been afraid I should
have run away with it." To be short, he came again at the end of
the third month, and was still mounted on his ass, but more
handsomely dressed than before.
As soon as I saw the young man, I intreated him to alight, and
asked him if he would not take his money? "There is no hurry,"
said he, with a pleasant easy air, "I know it is in good hands; I
will come and take it when my other money is all gone. Adieu,"
continued he, "I will return towards the end of the week." With
that he struck the ass, and soon disappeared. "Well," thought I,
"he says he will see me towards the end of the week, but he may
not perhaps return for a great while; I will make the most I can
of his money, which may bring me much profit."
As it happened, I was not deceived in my conjecture; for it was a
full year before I saw my young merchant again. He then appeared
as richly appareled as before, but seemed to have something on
his spirits. I asked him to do me the honour to walk into my
house. "For this time," replied he, "I will: but on this
condition, that you shall put yourself to no extraordinary charge
on my account." "I will do just as you please," said I, "only do
me the favour to alight and walk in." Accordingly he complied. I
gave orders to have a repast prepared, and while this was doing,
we entered into conversation. All things being ready, we sat
down. I observed he took the first mouthful with his left hand,
and not with the right. I was at a loss what to think of this.
"Ever since I have known this young man," said I inwardly, "he
has always appeared very polite; is it possible he can do this
out of contempt? What can be the reason he does not use his right
hand?"
After we had done eating, and every thing was taken away, we sat
upon a sofa, and I presented him with a lozenge by way of dainty;
but still he took it with his left hand. I said to him, "Pardon,
Sir, the liberty I take in asking you what reason you have for
not using your right hand? Perhaps you have some complaint in
that hand." Instead of answering, he heaved a deep sigh, and
pulling out his right arm, which he had hitherto kept under his
vest, shewed me, to my great astonishment, that it had been cut
off. "Doubtless you were displeased," said he, "to see me feed
myself with the left hand; but I leave you to judge, whether it
was in my power to do otherwise." "May one ask," said I, "by what
mischance you lost your right hand?" Upon that he burst into
tears, and after wiping his eyes, gave me the following relation.
You must know that I am a native of Bagdad, the son of a rich
merchant, the most eminent in that city for rank and opulence. I
had scarcely launched into the world, when falling into the
company of travellers, and hearing their wonderful accounts of
Egypt, especially of Grand Cairo, I was interested by their
discourse, and felt a strong desire to travel. But my father was
then alive, and would not grant me permission. At length he died;
and being then my own master, I resolved to take a journey to
Cairo. I laid out a large sum of money in the purchase of several
sorts of fine stuffs of Bagdad and Moussol. and departed.
Arriving at Cairo, I went to the khan, called the khan of
Mesrour, and there took lodgings, with a warehouse for my bales,
which I had brought with me upon camels. This done, I retired to
my chamber to rest, after the fatigue of my journey, and gave
some money to my servants, with orders to buy some provisions and
dress them. After I had eaten, I went to view the castle, some
mosques, the public squares, and the other most remarkable
places.
Next day I dressed myself, and ordered some of the finest and
richest of my bales to be selected and carried by my slaves to
the Circassian bazaar, whither I followed. I had no sooner made
my appearance, than I was surrounded with brokers and criers who
had heard of my arrival. I gave patterns of my stuffs to several
of the criers, who shewed them all over the bazaar; but none of
the merchants offered near so much as prime cost and carriage.
This vexed me, and the criers observing I was dissatisfied, said,
"If you will take our advice, we will put you in a way to sell
your goods without loss."
The brokers and the criers, having thus promised to put me in a
way of losing nothing by my goods, I asked them what course they
would have me pursue . "Divide your goods," said they, among
several merchants, they will sell them by retail; and twice a
week, that is on Mondays and Thursdays, you may receive what
money they may have taken. By this means, instead of losing, you
will turn your goods to advantage, and the merchants will gain by
you. In the mean while you will have time to take your pleasure
about the town or go upon the Nile."
I took their advice, and conducted them to my warehouse; from
whence I brought all my goods to the bazaar, and there divided
them among the merchants whom they represented as most reputable
and able to pay; and the merchants gave me a formal receipt
before witnesses, stipulating that I should not making any
demands upon them for the first month.
Having thus regulated my affairs, my mind was occupied with
ordinary pleasures. I contracted acquaintance with divers persons
of nearly the same age with myself, which made the time pass
agreeably. After the first month had expired, I began to visit my
merchants twice a week, taking with me a public officer to
inspect their books of sale, and a banker to see that they paid
me in good money, and to regulate the value of the several coins.
Every pay-day, I had a good sum of money to carry home to my
lodging at the khan of Mesrour. I went on other days to pass the
morning sometimes at one merchant's house, and sometimes at that
of another. In short, I amused myself in conversing with them,
and seeing what passed in the bazaar.
One Monday, as I was sitting in a merchant s shop, whose name
was Buddir ad Deen, a lady of quality, as might easily be
perceived by her air, her apparel, and by a well-dressed slave
attending her, came into the shop, and sat down by me. Her
external appearance, joined to a natural grace that shone in all
her actions, prepossessed me in her favour, and inspired me with
a desire to be better acquainted with her. I know not whether she
observed that I took pleasure in gazing on her, and whether this
attention on my part was not agreeable to her; but she let down
the crepe that hung over the muslin which covered her face, and
gave me the opportunity of seeing her large black eyes; which
perfectly charmed me. In fine, she inflamed my love to the height
by the agreeable sound of her voice, her graceful carriage in
saluting the merchant, and asking him how he did since she had
seen him last.
After conversing with him some time upon indifferent subjects,
she gave him to understand that she wanted a particular kind of
stuff with a gold ground; that she came to his shop, as affording
the best choice of any in all the bazaar; and that if he had any
such as she asked for, he would oblige her in showing them.
Buddir ad Deen produced several pieces, one of which she pitched
upon, and he asked for it eleven hundred dirhems of silver. "I
will," said she, "give you your price for it, but I have not
money enough about me; so I hope you will give me credit till to-
morrow, and in the mean time allow me to carry home the stuff. I
shall not fail," added she, "to send you tomorrow the eleven
hundred dirhems." "Madam," said Buddir ad Deen, "I would give you
credit with all my heart if the stuff were mine; but it belongs
to the young man you see here, and this is the day on which we
settle our accounts." "Why," said the lady in surprise, "do you
use me so? Am not I a customer to your shop And when I have
bought of you, and carried home the things without paying ready
money for them, did I in any instance fail to send you your money
next morning?" "Madam," said the merchant, "all this is true, but
this very day I have occasion for the money." "There," said she,
throwing the stuff to him, "take your stuff, I care not for you
nor any of the merchants. You are all alike; you respect no one."
As she spoke, she rose up in anger, and walked out.
When I saw that the lady walked away, I felt interested on her
behalf, and called her back, saying, "Madam, do me the favour to
return, perhaps I can find a way to satisfy you both." She
returned, saying, it was on my account that she complied. "Buddir
ad Deen," said I to the merchant, "what is the price you must
have for this stuff that belongs to me?" "I must have," replied
he, "eleven hundred dirhems, I cannot take less." "Give it to the
lady then," said I, "let her take it home with her; I allow a
hundred dirhems profit to yourself, and shall now write you a
note, empowering you to deduct that sum upon the produce of the
other goods you have of mine." In fine, I wrote, signed, and gave
him the note, and then delivered the stuff to the lady. "Madam,"
said I, "you may take the stuff with you, and as for the money,
you may either send it to-morrow or the next day; or, if you
will, accept it as a present from me." "Pardon me," returned she,
"I mean no such thing. You treat me with so much politeness, that
I should be unworthy to appear in the world again, were I to omit
making you my best acknowledgments. May God reward you, by an
increase of your fortune; may you live many years after I am
dead; may the gate of paradise be open to you when you remove to
the other world, and may all the city proclaim your generosity."
These words inspired me with some assurance. "Madam," I replied,
"I desire no other reward for the service I have done you than
the happiness of seeing your face; which will repay me with
interest." I had no sooner spoken than she turned towards me,
took off her veil, and discovered to me a wonderful beauty. I
became speechless with admiration. I could have gazed upon her
for ever; but fearing any one should observe her, she quickly
covered her face, and letting down the crepe, took up the piece
of stuff, and went away, leaving me in a very different state of
mind from that in which I had entered the shop. I continued for
some time in great confusion and perplexity. Before I took leave
of the merchant, I asked him, if he knew the lady; "Yes," said
he, "she is the daughter of an emir."
I went back to the khan of Mesrour, and sat down to supper, but
could not eat, neither could I shut my eyes all the night, which
seemed the longest in my life. As soon as it was day I arose, in
hopes of once more beholding the object that disturbed my repose:
and to engage her affection, I dressed myself much richer than I
had done the day before.
I had but just reached Buddir ad Deen's shop, when I saw the lady
coming in more magnificent apparel than before, and attended by
her slave. When she entered, she did not regard the merchant, but
addressing herself to me, said, "Sir, you see I am punctual to my
word. I am come for the express purpose of paying the sum you
were so kind as to pass your word for yesterday, though you had
no knowledge of me. Such uncommon generosity I shall never
forget."
"Madam," said I, "you had no occasion to be in such haste; I was
well satisfied as to my money, and am sorry you should put
yourself to so much trouble." "I had been very unjust," answered
she, "if I had abused your generosity." With these words she put
the money into my hand, and sat down by me.
Having this opportunity of conversing with her, I determined to
improve it, and mentioned to her the love I had for her; but she
rose and left me very abruptly, as if she had been angry with the
declaration I had made. I followed her with my eyes as long as
she continued in sight; then taking leave of the merchant walked
out of the bazaar, without knowing where I went. I was musing on
this adventure, when I felt somebody pulling me behind, and
turning to see who it was, I was agreeably surprised to perceive
it was the lady's slave. "My mistress," said she, "I mean the
young lady you spoke to in the merchant's shop, wants to speak
with you, if you please to give yourself the trouble to follow
me." Accordingly I followed her, and found her mistress sitting
waiting for me in a banker's shop.
She made me sit down by her, and spoke to this purpose. "Do not
be surprised, that I left you so abruptly. I thought it not
proper, before that merchant, to give a favourable answer to the
discovery you made of your affection for me. But to speak the
truth, I was so far from being offended at it, that it gave me
pleasure; and I account myself infinitely happy in having a man
of your merit for my lover. I do not know what impression the
first sight of me may have made on you, but I assure you, I had
no sooner beheld you than I found my heart moved with the
tenderest emotions of love. Since yesterday I have done nothing
but think of what you said to me; and my eagerness to seek you
this morning may convince you of my regard." "Madam," I replied,
transported with love and joy, "nothing can be more agreeable to
me than this declaration. No passion can exceed that with which I
love you. My eyes were dazzled with so many charms, that my heart
yielded without resistance." "Let us not trifle away the time in
needless discourse," said she, interrupting me; "make no doubt of
your sincerity, and you shall quickly be convinced of mine. Will
you do me the honour to come to my residence? Or if you will I
will go to yours." "Madam," I returned, "I am a stranger lodged
in a khan, which is not the proper place for the reception of a
lady of your quality. It is more proper, madam, that I should
visit you at your house; have the goodness to tell me where it
is." The lady consented; "Come," said she, "on Friday, which is
the day after to-morrow, after noon-prayers, and ask for the
house of Abon Schama, surnamed Bercour, late master of the emirs;
there you will find me." This said, we parted; and I passed the
next day in great impatience.
On Friday I put on my richest apparel, and took fifty pieces of
gold in my purse. I mounted an ass I had bespoken the day before,
and set out, accompanied by the man who let me the ass. I
directed the owner of the ass to inquire for the house I wanted;
he found it, and conducted me thither. I paid him liberally,
directing him to observe narrowly where he left me, and not to
fail to return next morning with the ass, to carry me again to
the khan of Mesrour.
I knocked at the door, and presently two little female slaves,
white as snow, and neatly dressed came and opened it. "Be pleased
to come in, Sir, said they, "our mistress expects you
impatiently; these two days she has talked of nothing but you. I
entered the court, and saw a pavilion raised seven steps, and
surrounded with iron rails that parted it from a very pleasant
garden. Besides the trees which only embellished the place, and
formed an agreeable shade, there was an infinite number of others
loaded with all sorts of fruit. I was charmed with the warbling
of a great number of birds, that joined their notes to the
murmurings of a fountain, in the middle of a parterre enamelled
with flowers. This fountain formed a very agreeable object; four
large gilded dragons at the angles of the basin, which was of a
square form, spouted out water clearer than rock-crystal. This
delicious place gave me a charming idea of the conquest I had
made. The two little slaves conducted me into a saloon
magnificently furnished; and while one of them went to acquaint
her mistress with my arrival, the other tarried with me, and
pointed out to me the beauties of the hall.
I did not wait long in the hall, ere the lady I loved appeared,
adorned with pearls and diamonds ; but the splendour of her eyes
far outshone that of her jewels. Her shape, which was now not
disguised by the habit she wore in the city, appeared the most
slender and delicate. I need not mention with what joy we met
once more; it far exceeded all expression. When the first
compliments were over, we sat down upon a sofa, and there
conversed together with the highest satisfaction. We had the most
delicious refreshments served up to us; and after eating,
continued our conversation till night. We then had excellent wine
brought up, and fruit adapted to promote drinking, and timed our
cups to the sound of musical instruments, joined to the voices of
the slaves. The lady of the house sung herself, and by her songs
raised my passion to the height. In short, I passed the night in
full enjoyment.
Next morning I slipped under the bolster of the bed the purse
with the fifty pieces of gold I had brought with me, and took
leave of the lady, who asked me when I would see her again.
"Madam," said I, "I give you my promise to return this night."
She seemed to be transported with my answer, and conducting me to
the door, conjured me at parting to be mindful of my promise.
The same man who had carried me thither waited for me with his
ass, which I mounted, and went directly to the khan; ordering the
man to come to me again in the afternoon at a certain hour, to
secure which, I deferred paying him till that time came.
As soon as I arrived at my lodging, my first care was to order my
people to buy a lamb, and several sorts of cakes, which I sent by
a porter as a present to the lady. When that was done I attended
to my business till the owner of the ass arrived. I then went
along with him to the lady's house, and was received by her with
as much joy as before, and entertained with equal magnificence.
Next morning I took leave, left her another purse with fifty
pieces of gold, and returned to my khan.
I continued to visit the lady every day, and to leave her every
time a purse with fifty pieces of gold, till the merchants whom I
employed to sell my goods, and whom I visited regularly twice a
week, had paid me the whole amount of my goods and, in short, I
came at last to be moneyless, and hopeless of having any more.
In this forlorn condition I walked out of my lodging, not knowing
what course to take, and by chance went towards the castle, where
there was a great crowd to witness a spectacle given by the
sultan of Egypt. As soon as I came up, I wedged in among the
crowd, and by chance happened to stand by a horseman well mounted
and handsomely clothed, who had upon the pommel of his saddle a
bag, half open, with a string of green silk hanging out of it. I
clapped my hand to the bag, concluding the silk-twist might be
the string of a purse within: in the mean time a porter, with a
load of wood upon his back, passed by on the other side of the
horse so near, that the rider was forced to turn his head towards
him, to avoid being hurt, or having his clothes torn by the wood.
In that moment the devil tempted me; I took the string in one
hand, and with the other pulled out the purse so dexterously,
that nobody perceived me. The purse was heavy, and I did not
doubt but it contained gold or silver.
As soon as the porter had passed, the horseman, who probably had
some suspicion of what I had done while his head was turned,
presently put his hand to his bag, and finding his purse was
gone, gave me such a blow, that he knocked me down. This violence
shocked all who saw it. Some took hold of the horse's bridle to
stop the gentleman, and asked him what reason he had to strike
me, or how he came to treat a Mussulmaun so rudely. "Do not you
trouble yourselves," said he briskly, "I had reason for what I
did; this fellow is a thief." At these words I started up, and
from my appearance every one took my part, and cried out he was a
liar, for that it was incredible a young man such as I was should
be guilty of so base an action: but while they were holding his
horse by the bridle to favour my escape, unfortunately passed by
the judge, who seeing such a crowd about the gentleman on
horseback, came up and asked what the matter was. Every body
present reflected on the gentleman for treating me so unjustly
upon the presence of robbery.
The judge did not give ear to all that was said; but asked the
cavalier if he suspected any body else beside me? The cavalier
told him he did not, and gave his reasons why he believed his
suspicions not to be groundless. Upon this the judge ordered his
followers to seize me, which they presently did; and finding the
purse upon me, exposed it to the view of all the people. The
disgrace was so great, I could not bear it, and I swooned away.
In the mean time the judge called for the purse.
When the judge had got the purse in his hand, he asked the
horseman if it was his, and how much money it contained. The
cavalier knew it to be his own, and assured the judge he had put
twenty sequins into it. Upon which the judge called me before
him; "Come, young man," said he, "confess the truth. Was it you
that took the gentleman's purse from him? Do not wait for the
torture to extort confession." Then with downcast eyes, thinking
that if I denied the fact, they, having found the purse upon me,
would convict me of a lie, to avoid a double punishment I looked
up and confessed my guilt. I had no sooner made the confession,
than the judge called people to witness it, and ordered my hand
to be cutoff. This sentence was immediately put in execution, to
the great regret of all the spectators; nay, I observed, by the
cavalier's countenance, that he was moved with pity as much as
the rest. The judge would likewise have ordered my foot to be cut
off, but I begged the cavalier to intercede for my pardon; which
he did, and obtained it.
When the judge was gone, the cavalier came up to me, and holding
out the purse, said, "I see plainly that necessity drove you to
an action so disgraceful and unworthy of such a young man as you
appear. Here, take that fatal purse; I freely give it you, and am
heartily sorry for the misfortune you have undergone." Having
thus spoken, he went away. Being very weak by loss of blood, some
of the good people of the neighbourhood had the kindness to carry
me into a house and give me a glass of cordial; they likewise
dressed my arm, and wrapped up the dismembered hand in a cloth,
which I carried away with me fastened to my girdle.
Had I returned to the khan of Mesrour in this melancholy
condition, I should not have found there such relief as I wanted;
and to offer to go to the young lady was running a great hazard,
it being likely she would not look upon me after being informed
of my disgrace. I resolved, however, to put her to the trial; and
to tire out the crowd that followed me, I turned down several by-
streets, and at last arrived at the lady's house very weak, and
so much fatigued, that I presently threw myself down upon a sofa,
keeping my right arm under my garment, for I took great care to
conceal my misfortune.
In the mean time the lady, hearing of my arrival, and that I was
not well, came to me in haste; and seeing me pale and dejected,
said, "My dear love, what is the matter with you?" "Madam," I
replied, dissembling, "I have a violent pain in my head." The
lady seemed to be much concerned, and asked me to sit down, for I
had arisen to receive her. "Tell me," said she, "how your illness
was occasioned. The last time I had the pleasure to see you, you
were very well. There must be something that you conceal from me,
let me know what it is." I stood silent, and instead of an
answer, tears trickled down my cheeks. "I cannot conceive,"
resumed she, "what it is that afflicts you. Have I unthinkingly
given you any occasion of uneasiness? Or do you come on purpose
to tell me you no longer love me?" "It is not that, madam," said
I, heaving a deep sigh; "your unjust suspicion adds to my
misfortune."
I could not think of discovering to her the true cause. When
night came, supper was brought, and she pressed me to eat; but
considering I could only feed myself with my left hand, I begged
to be excused upon the plea of having no appetite. "It will
return," said she, "if you would but discover what you so
obstinately conceal from me. Your want of appetite, without
doubt, is only owing to your irresolution."
"Alas! madam," returned I, "I find I must resolve at last." I had
no sooner spoken, than she filled me a cup full of wine, and
offering it to me, "Drink that," said she, "it will give you
courage." I reached out my left hand, and took the cup.
When I had taken the cup in my hand, I redoubled my tears and
sighs. "Why do you sigh and weep so bitterly?" asked the lady;
"and why do you take the cup with your left hand, rather than
your right?" "Ah! madam," I replied, "I beseech you excuse me; I
have a swelling in my right hand." "Let me see that swelling,"
said she; "I will open it." I desired to be excused, alleging it
was not ripe enough for such an operation; and drank off the cup,
which was very large. The fumes of the wine, joined to my
weakness and weariness, set me asleep, and I slept very soundly
till morning.
In the mean time the lady, curious to know what ailed my right
hand, lifted up my garment that covered it; and saw to her great
astonishment that it was cut off, and that I had brought it along
with me wrapped up in a cloth. She presently apprehended what was
my reason for declining a discovery, notwithstanding all her
pressing solicitation; and passed the night in the greatest
uneasiness on account of my disgrace, which she concluded had
been occasioned only by the love I bore to her.
When I awoke, I discerned by her countenance that she was
extremely grieved. However, that she might not increase my
uneasiness she said not a word. She called for jelly-broth of
fowl, which she had ordered to be prepared, and made me eat and
drink to recruit my strength. After that, I offered to take leave
of her; but she declared I should not go out of her doors.
"Though you tell me nothing of the matter," said she, "I am
persuaded I am the cause of the misfortune that has befallen you.
The grief that I feel on that account will soon end my days, but
before I die, I must execute a design for your benefit." She had
no sooner spoken, than she called for a judge and witnesses, and
ordered a writing to be drawn up, putting me in possession of her
whole property. After this was done, and every body dismissed,
she opened a large trunk where lay all the purses I had given her
from the commencement of our amour. "There they are all entire,"
said she; "I have not touched one of them. Here is the key ; take
it, for all is yours." After I had returned her thanks for her
generosity and goodness; "What I have done for you," said she,
"is nothing; I shall not be satisfied unless I die, to show how
much I love you." I conjured her, by all the powers of love, to
relinquish such a fatal resolution. But all my remonstrances were
ineffectual: she was so afflicted to see me have but one hand,
that she sickened, and died after five or six weeks' illness.
After mourning for her death as long as was decent, I took
possession of all her property, a particular account of which she
gave me before she died; and the corn you sold for me was part of
it.
"What I have now told you," said he, "will plead my excuse for
eating with my left hand. I am highly obliged to you for the
trouble you have given yourself on my account. I can never
sufficiently recompense your fidelity. Since I have still, thanks
to God, a competent estate, notwithstanding I have spent a great
deal, I beg you to accept of the sum now in your hand, as a
present from me. I have besides a proposal to make to you. As I
am obliged, on account of this fatal accident, to quit Cairo, I
am resolved never to return to it again. If you choose to
accompany me, we will trade together as equal partners, and share
the profits."
I thanked the young man for the present he had made me, and I
willingly embraced the proposal of travelling with him, assuring
him, that his interest should always be as dear to me as my own.
We fixed a day for our departure, and accordingly entered upon
our travels. We passed through Syria and Mesopotamia, travelled
over Persia, and after stopping at several cities, came at last,
sir, to your capital. Some time after our arrival here, the young
man having formed a design of returning to Persia, and settling
there, we balanced our accounts, and parted very good friends. He
went from hence, and I, sir, continue here in your majesty's
service. This is the story I had to relate. Does not your majesty
find it more surprising than that of the hunch-back buffoon?
The sultan of Casgar fell into a passion against the Christian
merchant. "Thou art a presumptuous fellow," said he, "to tell me
a story so little worth hearing, and then to compare it to that
of my jester. Canst thou flatter thyself so far as to believe
that the trifling adventures of a young debauchee are more
interesting than those of my jester? I will have you all four
impaled, to revenge his death.
Hearing this, the purveyor prostrated himself at the sultan's
feet. "Sir," said he, "I humbly beseech your majesty to suspend
your wrath, and hear my story; and if it appears to be more
extraordinary than that of your jester, to pardon us." The sultan
having granted his request, the purveyor began thus.
The Story told by the Sultan of Casgar's Purveyor.
Sir, a person of quality invited me yesterday to his daughter's
wedding. I went to his house in the evening at the hour
appointed, and found there a large company of men of the law,
ministers of justice, and others of the first rank in the city.
After the ceremony was over, we partook of a splendid feast.
Among other dishes set upon the table, there was one seasoned
with garlic, which was very delicious, and generally relished. We
observed, however, that one of the guests did not touch it,
though it stood just before him. We invited him to taste it, but
he intreated us not to press him. "I will take good care," said
he, "how I touch any dish that is seasoned with garlic; I have
not yet forgotten what the tasting of such a dish once cost me."
We requested him to inform us what the reason was of his aversion
to garlic. But before he had time to answer, the master of the
house exclaimed, "Is it thus you honour my table? This dish is
excellent, do not expect to be excused from eating of it; you
must do me that favour as well as the rest." "Sir," said the
gentleman, who was a Bagdad merchant, "I hope you do not think my
refusal proceeds from any mistaken delicacy; if you insist on my
compliance I will submit, but it must be on this condition, that
after having eaten, I may, with your permission, wash my hands
with alkali forty times, forty times more with ashes, and forty
times again with soap. I hope you will not feel displeased at
this stipulation, as I have made an oath never to taste garlic
but on these terms."
As the master of the house, continued the purveyor of the sultan
of Casgar, would not dispense with the merchant's partaking of
the dish seasoned with garlic, he ordered his servants to provide
a basin of water, together with some alkali, the ashes, and soap,
that the merchant might wash as often as he pleased. After he had
given these instructions, he addressed the merchant and said, "I
hope you will now do as we do."
The merchant, apparently displeased with the constraint put upon
him, took up a bit, which he put to his mouth trembling, and ate
with a reluctance that astonished us. But what surprised us yet
more was, that he had no thumb; which none of us had observed
before, though he had eaten of other dishes. "You have lost your
thumb," said the master of the house. "This must have been
occasioned by some extraordinary accident, a relation of which
will be agreeable to the company." "Sir," replied the merchant,
"I have no thumb on either the right or the left hand." As he
spoke he put out his left hand, and shewed us that what he said
was true. "But this is not all," continued he: "I have no great
toe on either of my feet: I was maimed in this manner by an
unheard-of adventure, which I am willing to relate, if you will
have the patience to hear me. The account will excite at once
your astonishment and your pity. Only allow me first to wash my
hands." With this he rose from the table, and after washing his
hands a hundred and twenty times, reseated himself, and proceeded
with his narrative as follows.
In the reign of the caliph Haroon al Rusheed, my father lived at
Bagdad, the place of my nativity, and was reputed one of the
richest merchants in the city. But being a man addicted to his
pleasures, and neglecting his private affairs, instead of leaving
me an ample fortune, he died in such embarrassed circumstances,
that I was reduced to the necessity of using all the economy
possible to discharge the debts he had contracted. I at last,
however, paid them all; and by care and good management my little
fortune began to wear a smiling aspect.
One morning, as I opened my shop, a lady mounted upon a mule, and
attended by an eunuch and two slaves, stopped near my door, and
with the assistance of the eunuch alighted. "Madam," said the
eunuch, "I told you you would be too early; you see there is no
one yet in the bazaar: had you taken my advice, you might have
saved yourself the trouble of waiting here." The lady looked and
perceiving no shop open but mine, asked permission to sit in it
till the other merchants arrived. With this request I of course
readily complied.
The lady took a seat in my shop, and observing there was no one
in the bazaar but the eunuch and myself, uncovered her face to
take the air. I had never beheld any thing so beautiful. I became
instantly enamoured, and kept my eyes fixed upon her. I flattered
myself that my attention was not unpleasant to her; for she
allowed me time to view her deliberately, and only concealed her
face so far as she thought necessary to avoid being observed.
After she had again lowered her veil, she told me she wanted
several sorts of the richest and finest stuffs, and asked me if I
had them. "Alas! madam," I replied, "I am but a young man just
beginning the world; I have not capital sufficient for such
extensive traffic. I am much mortified not to be able to
accommodate you with the articles you want. But to save you the
trouble of going from shop to shop, when the merchants arrive, I
will, if you please, go and get those articles from them, and
ascertain the lowest prices." She assented to this proposal, and
entered into conversation with me, which I prolonged, making her
believe the merchants that could furnish what she wanted were not
yet come.
I was not less charmed with her wit than I had been before with
the beauty of her face; but was obliged to forego the pleasure of
her conversation. I ran for the stuffs she wanted, and after she
had fixed upon what she liked, we agreed for five thousand
dirhems of coined silver; I wrapped up the stuffs in a small
bundle, and gave it to the eunuch, who put it under his arm. She
then rose and took leave. I followed her with my eyes till she
had reached the bazaar gate, and even after she had remounted her
mule.
The lady had no sooner disappeared, than I perceived that love
had led me to a serious oversight. It had so engrossed my
thoughts, that I did not reflect that she went away without
paying, and that I had not informed myself who she was, or where
she resided. I soon felt sensible, however, that I was
accountable for a large sum to the merchants, who, perhaps, would
not have patience to wait for their money: I went to them, and
made the best excuse I could, pretending that I knew the lady;
and then returned home, equally affected with love, and with the
burden of such a heavy debt.
I had desired my creditors to wait eight days for their money:
when this period had elapsed, they did not fail to dun me. I then
intreated them to give me eight days more, to which they
consented; but the next day I saw the lady enter the bazaar,
mounted on her mule, with the same attendants as before, and
exactly the same hour of the day.
She came straight to my shop. "I have made you wait some time,"
said she, "but here is your money at last; carry it to the
banker, and see that it is all good and right." The eunuch who
carried the money went along with me to the banker, and we found
it quite right. I returned, and had the happiness of conversing
with the lady till all the shops of the bazaar were open. Though
we talked but of ordinary things, she gave them such a turn, that
they appeared new and uncommon; and convinced me that I was not
mistaken in admiring her wit at our first interview.
As soon as the merchants had arrived and opened their shops, I
carried to the respective owners the money due for their stuffs,
and was readily intrusted with more, which the lady had desired
to see. She chose some from these to the value of one thousand
pieces of gold, and carried them away as before without paying;
nay, without speaking a word, or informing me who she was. What
distressed me was the consideration that while at this rate she
risked nothing, she left me without any security against being
made answerable for the goods in case she did not return. "She
has paid me," thought I, "a considerable sum; but she leaves me
responsible for a greater, Surely she cannot be a cheat. The
merchants do not know her, they will all come upon me." In short,
my love was not so powerful as to stifle the uneasiness I felt,
when I reflected upon the circumstances in which I was placed. A
whole month passed before I heard any thing of the lady again;
and during that time my alarm increased. The merchants were
impatient for their money, and to satisfy them, I was going to
sell off all I had, when one morning the lady returned with the
same equipage as before.
"Take your weights," said she, "and weigh the gold I have brought
you." These words dispelled my fear, and inflamed my love. Before
we counted the money, she asked me several questions, and
particularly if I was married. I answered I never had been. Then
reaching out the gold to the eunuch, "Let us have your
interposition," said she, "to accommodate our matters." Upon
which the eunuch fell a laughing, and calling me aside, made me
weigh the gold. While I was thus occupied, the eunuch whispered
in my ear, "I know by your eyes you love this lady, and I am
surprised that you have not the courage to disclose your passion.
She loves you more ardently than you do her. Do not imagine that
she has any real occasion for your stuffs. She only makes this
her presence to come here, because you have inspired her with a
violent passion. It was for this reason she asked you if you were
married. It will be your own fault, if you do not marry her." "It
is true," I replied, "I have loved her since I first beheld her;
but I durst not aspire to the happiness of thinking my attachment
could meet her approbation. I am entirely hers, and shall not
fail to retain a grateful sense of your good offices in this
affair."
I finished weighing the gold, and while I was putting it into the
bag, the eunuch turned to the lady, and told her I was satisfied;
that being the word they had agreed upon between themselves.
Presently after, the lady rose and took her leave; telling me she
would send her eunuch to me, and that I had only to obey the
directions he might give me in her name.
I carried each of the merchants their money, and waited some days
with impatience for the eunuch. At last he came.
I received the eunuch very kindly, and inquired after his
mistress's health. "You are," said he, "the happiest lover in the
world; she is impatient to see you; aud were she mistress of her
own conduct, would not fail to come to you herself, and willingly
pass in your society all the days of her life." "Her noble mien
and graceful carriage," I replied, "convinced me, that she was a
lady beyond the common rank." "You have not erred in your
judgment on that head," said the eunuch; "she is the favourite of
Zobeide the caliph's wife, who is the more affectionately
attached to her from having brought her up from her infancy, and
intrusts her with all her affairs. Having a wish to marry, she
has declared to her mistress that she has fixed her affections
upon you, and has desired her consent. Zobeide told her, she
would not withhold her consent; but that she would see you first,
in order to judge if she had made a good choice; in which case
she meant herself to defray the expenses of the wedding. Thus you
see your felicity is certain; since you have pleased the
favourite, you will be equally agreeable to the mistress, who
seeks only to oblige her, and would by no means thwart her
inclination. All you have to do is to come to the palace. I am
sent hither to invite you." "My resolution is already formed,"
said I, "and I am ready to follow you whithersoever you please."
"Very well," said the eunuch; "but you know men are not allowed
to enter the ladies' apartments in the palace, and you must be
introduced with great secrecy. The favourite lady has contrived
the matter well. On your side you must act your part discreetly;
for if you do not, your life is at stake."
I gave him repeated assurances punctually to perform whatever he
might require. "Then," said he, "in the evening, you must be at
the mosque built by the caliph's lady on the bank of the Tigris,
and wait there till somebody comes to conduct you." To this I
agreed; and after passing the day in great impatience, went in
the evening to the prayer that is said an hour and a half after
sun-set in the mosque, and remained there after all the people
had departed.
Soon after I saw a boat making up to the mosque, the rowers of
which were all eunuchs, who came on shore, put several large
trunks into the mosque, and then retired. One of them stayed
behind, whom I perceived to be the eunuch that had accompanied
the lady, and had been with me that morning. I saw the lady also
enter the mosque; and approaching her, told her I was ready to
obey her orders. "We have no time to lose," said she; and opening
one of the trunks, desired me to get into it, that being
necessary both for her safety and mine. "Fear nothing," added
she, "leave the management of all to me." I considered with
myself that I had gone too far to recede, and obeyed her orders;
when she immediately locked the trunk. This done, the eunuch her
confidant called the other eunuchs who had brought in the trunks,
and ordered them to carry them on board again. The lady and the
eunuch re-embarked, and the boatmen rowed to Zobeide's apartment.
In the meantime I reflected very seriously upon the danger to
which I had exposed myself, and made vows and prayers, though it
was then too late.
The boat stopped at the palace-gate, and the trunks were carried
into the apartment of the officer of the eunuchs, who keeps the
key of the ladies' apartments, and suffers nothing to enter
without a narrow inspection. The officer was then in bed, and it
was necessary to call him up.
The officer of the eunuchs was displeased at having his rest
disturbed, and severely chid the favourite lady for coming home
so late. "You shall not come off so easily as you think," said
he: "not one of these trunks shall pass till I have opened it."
At the same time he commanded the eunuchs to bring them before
him, and open them one by one. The first they took was that
wherein I lay, which put me into inexpressible fear.
The favourite lady, who had the key, protested it should not be
opened. "You know very well," said she, "I bring nothing hither
but what is for the use of Zobeide, your mistress and mine. This
trunk is filled with rich goods, which I purchased from some
merchants lately arrived, besides a number of bottles of Zemzem
water sent from Mecca; and if any of these should happen to
break, the goods will be spoiled, and you must answer for them;
depend upon it, Zobeide will resent your insolence." She insisted
upon this in such peremptory terms, that the officer did not dare
to open any of the trunks. "Let them go," said he angrily; "you
may take them away." Upon this the door of the women's apartment
was opened, and all the trunks were carried in.
This had been scarcely accomplished, when I heard the people cry,
"Here is the caliph! Here comes the caliph!" This put me in such
alarm, that I wonder I did not die upon the spot; for as they
announced, it proved to be the caliph. "What hast thou got in
these trunks?" said he to the favourite. "Some stuffs," she
replied, "lately arrived, which the empress wishes to see." "Open
them," cried he, "and let me see them." She excused herself,
alleging the stuffs were only proper for ladies, and that by
opening them, his lady would be deprived of the pleasure of
seeing them first. "I say open them," resumed the caliph; "I will
see them." She still represented that her mistress would be angry
with her, if she complied: "No, no," said he, "I will engage she
shall not say a word to you. Come, come, open them, and do not
keep me waiting."
It was necessary to obey, which gave me such alarm, that I
tremble every time I recollect my situation. The caliph sat down;
and the favourite ordered all the trunks to be brought before him
one after another. She opened some of them; and to lengthen out
the time, displayed the beauties of each particular stuff,
thinking in this manner to tire out his patience; but her
stratagem did not succeed. Being as unwilling as myself to have
the trunk where I lay opened, she left that to the last. When all
the rest were viewed, "Come," said the caliph, "let us see what
is in that." I am at a loss to tell you whether I was dead or
alive that moment; for I little thought of escaping such imminent
danger.
When Zobeide's favourite saw that the caliph persisted in having
this trunk opened: "As for this," said she, "your majesty will
please to dispense with the opening of it; there are some things
in it which I cannot shew you without your lady be present."
"Well, well," said the caliph, "since that is the case, I am
satisfied; order the trunks to be carried away." The words were
no sooner spoken than they were moved into her chamber, where I
began to revive again.
As soon as the eunuchs, who had brought them, were gone, she
opened the trunk in which I was confined. "Come out," said she;
"go up these stairs that lead to an upper room, and wait there
till I come to you." The door, which led to the stairs, she
locked after me; and that was no sooner done, than the caliph
came and sat down on the very trunk which had been my prison. The
occasion of this visit did not respect me. He wished to question
the lady about what she had seen or heard in the city. So they
conversed together some time; he then left her, and retired to
his apartment.
When she found the coast clear, she came to the chamber where I
lay concealed, and made many apologies for the alarms she had
given me. "My uneasiness," said she, "was no less than yours; you
cannot well doubt of that, since I have run the same risk out of
love to you. Perhaps another person in my situation would not,
upon so delicate an occasion, have had the presence of mind to
manage so difficult a business with so much dexterity; nothing
less than the love I had for you could have inspired me with
courage to do what I have. But come, take heart, the danger is
now over." After much tender conversation, she told me it was
time to go to rest, and that she would not fail to introduce me
to Zobeide her mistress, some hour on the morrow, "which will be
very easy," added she; "for the caliph never sees her but at
night." Encouraged by these words, I slept very well, or if my
sleep was interrupted, it was by agreeable disquietudes, caused
by the hopes of possessing a lady blest with so much wit and
beauty.
The next day, before I was introduced to Zobeide, her favourite
instructed me how to conduct myself, mentioning what questions
she would probably put to me, and dictating the answers I was to
return. She then carried me into a very magnificent and richly
furnished hall. I had no sooner entered, than twenty female
slaves, advanced in age, dressed in rich and uniform habits, came
out of Zobeide's apartment, and placed themselves before the
throne in two equal rows; they were followed by twenty other
younger ladies, clothed after the same fashion, only their habits
appeared somewhat gayer. In the middle of these appeared Zobeide
with a majestic air, and so laden with jewels, that she could
scarcely walk. She ascended the throne, and the favourite lady,
who had accompanied her, stood just by her right hand; the other
ladies, who were slaves, being placed at some distance on each
side of the throne.
As soon as the caliph's lady was seated, the slaves who came in
first made a sign for me to approach. I advanced between the two
rows they had formed, and prostrated myself upon the carpet that
was under the princess's feet. She ordered me to rise, did me the
honour to ask my name, my family, and the state of my fortune; to
all which I gave her satisfactory answers, as I perceived, not
only by her countenance, but by her words. "I am glad," said she,
"that my daughter," (so she used to call the favourite lady,)
"for I look upon her as such after the care I have take of her
education, has made this choice; I approve of it, and consent to
your marriage. I will myself give orders for having it
solemnized; but I wish my daughter to remain with me ten days
before the solemnity; in that time I will speak to the caliph,
and obtain his consent: mean while do you remain here; you shall
be taken care of."
Pursuant to the commands of the caliph's lady, I remained ten
days in the women's apartments, and during that time was deprived
of the pleasure of seeing the favourite lady: but was so well
used by her orders, that I had no reason to be dissatisfied.
Zobeide told the caliph her resolution of marrying the favourite
lady; and the caliph leaving to her the liberty to act in the
business as she thought proper, granted the favourite a
considerable sum by way of settlement. When the ten days were
expired, Zobeide ordered the contract of marriage to be drawn up
and brought to her, and the necessary preparations being made for
the solemnity, the musicians and the dancers, both male and
female, were called in, and there were great rejoicings in the
palace for nine days. The tenth day being appointed for the last
ceremony of the marriage, the favourite lady was conducted to a
bath, and I to another. At night I had all manner of dishes
served up to me, and among others, one seasoned with garlic, such
as you have now forced me to eat. This I liked so well, that I
scarcely touched any of the other dishes. But to my misfortune,
when I rose from table, instead of washing my hands well, I only
wiped them; a piece of negligence of which I had never before
been guilty.
As it was then night, the whole apartment of the ladies was
lighted up so as to equal the brightness of day. Nothing was to
be heard through the palace but musical instruments, dances, and
acclamations of joy. My bride and I were introduced into a great
hall, where we were placed upon two thrones. The women who
attended her made her robe herself several times, according to
the usual custom on wedding days; and they shewed her to me every
time she changed her habit.
All these ceremonies being over, we were conducted to the nuptial
chamber: as soon as the company retired, I approached my wife;
but instead of returning my transports, she pushed me away, and
cried out, upon which all the ladies of the apartment came
running in to inquire the cause: and for my own part, I was so
thunderstruck, that I stood like a statue, without the power of
even asking what she meant. "Dear sister," said they to her,
"what has happened since we left you? Let us know, that we may
try to relieve you." "Take," said she, "take that vile fellow out
of my sight." "Why, madam?" I asked, "wherein have I deserved
your displeasure?" "You are a villain," said she in a furious
passion, "to eat garlic, and not wash your hands! Do you think I
would suffer such a polluted wretch to poison me? Down with him,
down with him on the ground," continued she, addressing herself
to the ladies, "and bring me a bastinado." They immediately did
as they were desired; and while some held my hands, and others my
feet, my wife, who was presently furnished with a weapon, laid on
me as long as she could stand. She then said to the ladies, "Take
him, send him to the judge, and let the hand be cut off with
which he fed upon the garlic dish."
"Alas!" cried I, "must I be beaten unmercifully, and, to complete
my affliction, have my hand cut off, for partaking of a dish
seasoned with garlic, and forgetting to wash my hands? What
proportion is there between the punishment and the crime? Curse
on the dish, on the cook who dressed it, and on him who served it
up."
"All the ladies who had seen me receive the thousand strokes,
took pity on me, when they heard the cutting off of my hand
mentioned. "Dear madam, dear sister," said they to the favourite
lady, "you carry your resentment too far. We own he is a man
quite ignorant of the world, of your quality, and the respect
that is due to you: but we beseech you to overlook and pardon his
fault." "I have not received adequate satisfaction," said she; "I
will teach him to know the world; I will make him bear sensible
marks of his impertinence, and be cautious hereafter how he
tastes a dish seasoned with garlic without washing his hands."
They renewed their solicitations, fell down at her feet, and
kissing her fair hands, said, "Good madam, moderate your anger,
and grant us the favour we supplicate." She made no reply, but
got up, and after uttering a thousand reproaches against me,
walked out of the chamber: all the ladies followed her, leaving
me in inconceivable affliction.
I continued thus ten days, without seeing any body but an old
female slave that brought me victuals. I asked her what was
become of the favourite lady. "She is sick," said the old woman;
"she is sick of the poisoned smell with which you infected her.
Why did you not take care to wash your hands after eating of that
cursed dish?" "Is it possible," thought I, "that these ladies
can be so nice, and so vindictive for such a trifling fault!" I
loved my wife notwithstanding all her cruelty, and could not help
pitying her.
One day the old woman told me my spouse was recovered, and gone
to bathe, and would come to see me the next day. "So," said she,
"I would have you call up your patience, and endeavour to
accommodate yourself to her humour. For she is in other respects
a woman of good sense and discretion, and beloved by all the
ladies about the court of our respected mistress Zobeide."
My wife accordingly came on the following evening, and accosted
me thus: "You perceive that I must possess much tenderness to
you, after the affront you have offered me: but still I cannot be
reconciled till I have punished you according to your demerit, in
not washing your hands after eating of the garlic dish." She then
called the ladies, who, by her order, threw me upon the ground;
and after binding me fast, she had the barbarity to cut off my
thumbs and great toes herself, with a razor. One of the ladies
applied a certain root to staunch the blood; but by bleeding and
by the pain, I swooned away.
When I came to myself, they gave me wine to drink, to recruit my
strength. "Ah! madam," said I to my wife, "if ever I again eat of
a dish with garlic in it, I solemnly swear to wash my hands a
hundred and twenty times with alkali, with ashes, and with soap."
"Well," replied she, "upon that condition I am willing to forget
what is past, and live with you as my husband."
"This," continued the Bagdad merchant, addressing himself to the
company, "is the reason why I refused to eat of the dish seasoned
with what is now on the table."
The ladies applied to my wounds not only the root I mentioned,
but likewise some balsam of Mecca, which they were well assured
was not adulterated, because they had it out of the caliph's own
dispensatory. By virtue of that admirable balsam, I was in a few
days perfectly cured, and my wife and I lived together as
agreeably as if I had never eaten of the garlic dish. But having
been all my lifetime used to enjoy my liberty, I grew weary of
being confined to the caliph's palace; yet I said nothing to my
wife on the subject, for fear of displeasing her. However, she
suspected my feelings; and eagerly wished for liberty herself,
for it was gratitude alone that made her continue with Zobeide.
She represented to her mistress in such lively terms the
constraint I was under, in not living in the city with people of
my own rank, as I had always done, that the good princess chose
rather to deprive herself of the pleasure of having her favourite
about her than not to grant what we both equally desired.
A month after our marriage, my wife came into my room with
several eunuchs, each carrying a bag of silver. When the eunuchs
were gone; "You never told me," said she, "that you were uneasy
in being confined to court; but I perceived it, and have happily
found means to make you contented. My mistress Zobeide gives us
permission to quit the palace; and here are fifty thousand
sequins, of which she has made us a present, in order to enable
us to live comfortably in the city. Take ten thousand of them,
and go and buy us a house."
I quickly found a house for the money, and after furnishing it
richly, we went to reside in it, kept a great many slaves of both
sexes, and made a good figure. We thus began to live in a very
agreeable manner: but my felicity was of short continuance; for
at the end of a year my wife fell sick and died.
I might have married again, and lived honourably at Bagdad; but
curiosity to see the world put me upon another plan. I sold my
house, and after purchasing several kinds of merchandize, went
with a caravan to Persia; from Persia I travelled to Samarcand,
and from thence to this city.
"This," said the purveyor to the sultan of Casgar, "is the story
that the Bagdad merchant related in a company where I was
yesterday." "This story," said the sultan, "has something in it
extraordinary; but it does not come near that of the little
hunch-back." The Jewish physician prostrated himself before the
sultan's throne, and addressed the prince in the following
manner: "Sir, if you will be so good as to hear me, I flatter
myself you will be pleased with a story I have to tell you."
"Well spoken," said the sultan; "but if it be not more surprising
than that of little hunch-back, you must not expect to live."
The Jewish physician, finding the sultan of Casgar disposed to
hear him, gave the following relation.
The Story told by the Jewish Physician.
When I was studying physic at Damascus, and was just beginning to
practise that noble profession with some reputation, a slave
called me to see a patient in the governor of the city's family.
Accordingly I went, and was conducted into a room, where I found
a very handsome young man, much dejected by his disorder. I
saluted him, and sat down by him; but he made no return to my
compliments, only a sign with his eyes that he heard me, and
thanked me. "Pray, sir," said I, "give me your hand, that I may
feel your pulse." But instead of stretching out his right, he
gave me his left hand, at which I was extremely surprised.
However, I felt his pulse, wrote him a prescription, and took
leave.
I continued my visits for nine days, and every time I felt his
pulse, he still gave me his left hand. On the tenth day he seemed
to be so far recovered, that I only deemed it necessary to
prescribe bathing to him. The governor of Damascus, who was by,
in testimony of his satisfaction with my service, invested me
with a very rich robe, saying, he had appointed me a physician of
the city hospital, and physician in ordinary to his house, where
I might eat at his table when I pleased.
The young man likewise shewed me many civilities, and asked me to
accompany him to the bath. Accordingly we went together, and when
his attendants had undressed him, I perceived he wanted the right
hand, and that it had not long been cut off, which had been the
occasion of his disorder, though concealed from me; for while the
people about him were applying proper remedies externally, they
had called me to prevent the ill consequence of the fever which
was on him. I was much surprised and concerned on seeing his
misfortune; which he observed by my countenance. "Doctor," cried
he, "do not be astonished that my hand is cut off; some day or
other I will tell you the cause; and in that relation you will
hear very surprising adventures."
After we had returned from the bath, we sat down to a collation;
and he asked me if it would be any prejudice to his health if he
went and took a walk out of town in the governor's garden? I made
answer, that the air would be of service to him. "Then," said he,
"if you will give me your company, I will recount to you my
history." I replied I was at his command for all that day. Upon
which he presently called his servants, and we went to the
governor's garden. Having taken two or three turns there, we
seated ourselves on a carpet that his servants had spread under a
tree, which gave a pleasant shade. The young man then gave me his
history in the following terms;
I was born at Moussol, of one of the most considerable families
in the city. My father was the eldest of ten brothers, who were
all alive and married when my grandfather died. All the brothers
were childless, except my father; and he had no child but me. He
took particular care of my education; and made me learn every
thing proper for my rank.
When I was grown up, and began to enter into the world, I
happened one Friday to be at noon-prayers with my father and my
uncles in the great mosque of Moussol. After prayers were over,
the rest of the company going away, my father and my uncles
continued sitting upon the best carpet in the mosque; and I sat
down by them. They discoursed of several things, but the
conversation fell insensibly, I know not how, upon the subject of
travelling. They extolled the beauties and peculiar rarities of
some kingdoms, and of their principal cities. But one of my
uncles said, that according to the uniform report of an infinite
number of voyagers, there was not in the world a pleasanter
country than Egypt, on account of the Nile; and the description
he gave infused into me such high admiration, that from that
moment I had a desire to travel thither. Whatever my other uncles
said, by way of preference to Bagdad and the Tigris, in calling
Bagdad the residence of the Mussulmaun religion, and the
metropolis of all the cities of the earth, made no impression
upon me. My father joined in opinion with those of his brothers
who had spoken in favour of Egypt; which filled me with joy. "Say
what you will," said he, "the man that has not seen Egypt has not
seen the greatest rarity in the world. All the land there is
golden; I mean, it is so fertile, that it enriches its
inhabitants. All the women of that country charm you by their
beauty and their agreeable carriage. If you speak of the Nile,
where is there a more wonderful river? What water was ever
lighter or more delicious? The very slime it carries along in its
overflowing fattens the fields, which produce a thousand times
more than other countries that are cultivated with the greatest
labour. Observe what a poet said of the Egyptians, when he was
obliged to depart from Egypt: Your Nile loads you with blessings
every day; it is for you only that it runs from such a distance.
Alas! in removing from you, my tears will flow as abundantly as
its waters; you are to continue in the enjoyment of its
sweetnesses, while I am condemned to deprive myself of them
against my will.'
"If you look," added my father, "towards the island that is
formed by the two greatest branches of the Nile, what variety of
verdure! What enamel of all sorts of flowers! What a prodigious
number of cities, villages, canals, and a thousand other
agreeable objects! If you turn your eyes on the other side, up
towards Ethiopia, how many other subjects of admiration! I cannot
compare the verdure of so many plains, watered by the different
canals of the island, better than to brilliant emeralds set in
silver. Is not Grand Cairo the largest, the most populous, and
the richest city in the world? What a number of magnificent
edifices both public and private! If you view the pyramids, you
will be filled with astonishment at the sight of the masses of
stone of an enormous thickness, which rear their heads to the
skies! You will be obliged to confess, that the Pharaohs, who
employed such riches, and so many men in building them, must have
surpassed in magnificence and invention all the monarchs who have
appeared since, not only in Egypt, but in all the world, for
having left monuments so worthy of their memory: monuments so
ancient, that the learned cannot agree upon the date of their
erection; yet such as will last to the end of time. I pass over
in silence the maritime cities of the kingdom of Egypt, such as
Damietta, Rosetta, and Alexandria, where nations come for various
sorts of grain, cloth, and an infinite number of commodities
calculated for accommodation and delight. I speak of what I know;
for I spent some years there in my youth, which I shall always
reckon the most agreeable part of my life."
My uncles could make no reply, and assented to all my father had
said of the Nile, of Cairo, and of the whole kingdom of Egypt. My
imagination was so full of these subjects, I could not sleep that
night. Soon after, my uncles declared how much they were struck
with my father's account. They made a proposal to him, that they
should travel all together into Egypt. To this he assented; and
being rich merchants, they resolved to carry with them such
commodities as were likely to suit the market. When I found that
they were making preparations for their departure, I went to my
father, and begged of him, with tears in my eyes, that he would
suffer me to make one of the party, and allow me some stock of
goods to trade with on my own account. "You are too young," said
he, "to travel into Egypt; the fatigue is too great for you; and,
besides, I am sure you will come off a loser in your traffic."
These words, however, did not suppress my eager desire to travel.
I made use of my uncles' interest with my father, who at last
granted me permission to go as far as Damascus, where they were
to leave me, till they had travelled through Egypt. "The city of
Damascus," said my father, "may likewise glory in its beauties,
and my son must be content with leave to go so far." Though my
curiosity to see Egypt was very pressing, I considered he was my
father, and submitted to his will.
I set out from Moussol in company with him and my uncles. We
travelled through Mesopotamia, passed the Euphrates, and arrived
at Aleppo, where we stayed some days. From thence we went to
Damascus, the first sight of which struck me with agreeable
surprise We lodged all together in one khan; and I had the view
of a city that was large, populous, full of handsome people, and
well fortified. We employed some days in walking up and down the
delicious gardens that surrounded it; and we all agreed that
Damascus was justly said to be seated in a paradise. At last my
uncles thought of pursuing their journey; but took care, before
they went, to sell my goods so advantageously for me, that I
gained by them five hundred per cent. This sale brought me a sum
so considerable, as to fill me with delight.
My father and my uncles left me in Damascus, and pursued their
journey. After their departure, I used great caution not to lay
out my money idly. But at the same time I took a stately house,
built of marble, adorned with paintings of gold, silver foliage,
and a garden with fine water-works. I furnished it, not so richly
indeed as the magnificence of the place deserved, but at least
handsomely enough for a young man of my rank. It formerly
belonged to one of the principal lords of the city; but was then
the property of a rich jewel-merchant, to whom I paid for it only
two sherifs a month. I had a number of domestics, and lived
honourably; sometimes I gave entertainments to such people as I
had made an acquaintance with, and sometimes was treated by them.
Thus did I spend my time at Damascus, waiting for my father's
return; no passion disturbed my repose, and my only employment
was conversing with people of credit.
One day, as I sat taking the cool air at my gate, a very
handsome, well-dressed lady came to me, and asked if I did not
sell stuffs? She had no sooner spoken the words, than she went
into my house.
When I saw that the lady had entered the house, I rose, and
having shut the gate, conducted into a hall, and prayed her to
sit down. "Madam," said I, "I have had stuffs fit to be strewn to
you, but at present, I am sorry to say, I have none." She removed
the veil from her face, and discovered such beauty as affected me
with emotions I had never felt before. "I have no occasion for
stuffs," replied she, "I only come to see you, and, if you
please, to pass the evening in your company; all I ask of you is
a light collation."
Transported with joy, I ordered the servants to bring us several
sorts of fruit, and some bottles of wine. These being speedily
served, we ate, drank, and made merry till midnight. In short, I
had not before passed a night so agreeably as this. Next morning
I would have put ten sherifs into the lady's hands, but she drew
back instantly. "I am not come to see you," said she, "from
interested motives; you therefore do me wrong. So far from
receiving money from you, I must insist on your taking some from
me, or else I will see you no more." In speaking this, she put
her hand into her purse, took out ten sherifs, and forced me to
take them, saying, "You may expect me three days hence after sun-
set. She then took leave of me, and I felt that when she went she
carried my heart along with her."
She did not fail to return at the appointed hour three days
after; and I received her with all the joy of a person who waited
impatiently for her arrival. The evening and the night we spent
as before; and next day at parting she promised to return the
third day after. She did not, however, leave me without forcing
me to take ten sherifs more.
She returned a third time; and at that interview, when we were
both warm with wine, she spoke thus: "My dear love, what do you
think of me? Am I not handsome and agreeable?" "Madam," I
replied, "I think this an unnecessary question: the love which I
shew you ought to persuade you that I admire you; I am charmed to
see and to possess you. You are my queen, my sultaness; in you
lies all the felicity of my life." "Ah!" returned she, "I am sure
you would speak otherwise, if you saw a certain lady of my
acquaintance, who is younger and handsomer than I am. She is of
such a pleasant lively temper, that she would make the most
melancholy people merry: I must bring her hither; I spoke of you
to her, and from the account I have given of you she is dying
with desire to see you. She intreated me to procure her that
pleasure, but I did not dare to promise her without speaking to
you beforehand." "Madam," said I, "do what you please; but
whatever you may say of your friend, I defy all her charms to
tear my heart from you, to whom it is so inviolably attached,
that nothing can disengage it." "Be not too positive," returned
she; "I now tell you, I am about to put your heart to a severe
trial."
We continued together all night, and next morning at parting,
instead of ten sherifs she gave me fifteen, which I was forced to
accept. "Remember," said she, "that in two days' time you are to
have a new guest; pray take care to give her a good reception: we
will come at the usual hour." I had my hall put in great order,
and a handsome collation prepared against they came.
I waited for the two ladies with impatience and at last they
arrived at the close of the day. They both unveiled, and as I had
been surprised with the beauty of the first, I had reason to be
much more so when I saw her friend. She had regular features, an
elegant person, and such sparkling eyes, that I could hardly bear
their splendour. I thanked her for the honour she did me, and
entreated her to excuse me if I did not give her the reception
she deserved. "No compliments," replied she; "it should be my
part to make them to you, for allowing my friend to bring me
hither. But since you are pleased to suffer it, let us lay aside
all ceremony, and think only of amusing ourselves."
I had given orders, as soon as the ladies arrived, to have the
collation served up, and we soon sat down to our entertainment. I
placed myself opposite the stranger, who never ceased looking
upon me with a smiling countenance. I could not resist her
conquering eyes, and she made herself mistress of my heart,
without opposition. But while she inspired me with a flame, she
caught it herself; and so far from appearing to be under any
constraint, she conversed in very free and lively language.
The other lady, who observed us, did nothing at first but laugh.
"I told you," said she, addressing herself to me, "you would find
my friend full of charms; and I perceive you have already
violated the oath you made of being faithful to me." "Madam,"
replied I, laughing as well as she, "you would have reason to
complain, if I were wanting in civility to a lady whom you
brought hither, and who is your intimate friend; both of you
might then upbraid me for not performing duly the rites of
hospitality."
We continued to drink; but as the wine warmed us, the strange
lady and I ogled one another with so little reserve, that her
friend grew jealous, and quickly gave us a dismal proof of the
inveteracy of her feelings. She rose from the table and went out,
saying, she would be with us presently again: but in a few
moments after, the lady who stayed with me changed countenance,
fell into violent convulsions, and expired in my arms while I was
calling for assistance to relieve her. I went out immediately,
and enquired for the other lady; when my people told me, she had
opened the street door and was gone. I then suspected what was
but too true, that she had been the cause of her friend's death.
She had the dexterity, and the malice, to put some very strong
poison into the last glass, which she gave her with her own hand.
I was afflicted beyond measure with the accident. "What shall I
do?" I exclaimed in agony. "What will become of me?" I considered
there was no time to lose, and it being then moon-light, I
ordered my servants to take up one of the large pieces of marble,
with which the court of my house was paved, dig a hole, and there
inter the corpse of the young lady. After replacing the stone, I
put on a travelling suit, took what money I had; and having
locked up every thing, affixed my own seal on the door of my
house. This done I went to the jewel-merchant my landlord, paid
him what I owed, with a year's rent in advance and giving him the
key, prayed him to keep it for me. "A very urgent affair," said
I, "obliges me to be absent for some time; I am under the
necessity of going to visit my uncles at Cairo." I took my leave
of him, immediately mounted my horse, and departed with my
attendants from Damascus.
I had a good journey, and arrived at Cairo without any accident.
There I met with my uncles, who were much surprised to see me. To
excuse myself, I pretended I was tired of waiting; and hearing
nothing of them, was so uneasy, that I could not be satisfied
without coming to Cairo. They received me kindly, and promised
that my father should not be displeased with me for leaving
Damascus without his permission. I lodged in the same khan with
them, and saw all the curiosities of Cairo.
Having finished their traffic, they began to talk of returning to
Moussol, and to make preparations for their departure; but I,
having a wish to view in Egypt what I had not yet seen, left my
uncles, and went to lodge in another quarter at a distance from
their khan, and did not appear any more till they were gone. They
sought for me all over the city; but not finding me, supposed
remorse for having come to Egypt without my father's consent had
occasioned me to return to Damascus, without saying any thing to
them. So they began their journey, expecting to find me at
Damascus, and there to take me up.
After their departure I continued at Cairo three years, more
completely to indulge my curiosity in seeing all the wonders of
Egypt. During that time I took care to remit money to the jewel-
merchant, ordering him to keep my house for me; for I designed to
return to Damascus, and reside there some years longer. I had no
adventure at Cairo worth relating; but doubtless you will be much
surprised at that which befell me on my return to Damascus.
Arriving at this city, I went to the jewel-merchant's, who
received me joyfully, and would accompany me to my house, to shew
me that no one had entered it whilst I was absent. The seal was
still entire upon the lock; and when I went in, I found every
thing in the order in which I had left it.
In sweeping and cleaning out the hall where I had eaten with the
ladies, one of my servants found a gold chain necklace, with ten
very large and perfect pearls strung upon it at certain
distances. He brought it to me, when I knew it to be the same I
had seen upon the lady's neck who was poisoned; and concluded it
had broken off and fallen. I could not look upon it without
shedding tears, when I called to mind the lovely creature I had
seen die in such a shocking manner. I wrapped it up, and put it
in my bosom.
I rested some days to recover from the fatigues of my journey;
after which, I began to visit my former acquaintance. I abandoned
myself to every species of pleasure, and gradually squandered
away all my money. Being thus reduced, instead of selling my
furniture, I resolved to part with the necklace; but I had so
little skill in pearls, that I took my measures very ill, as you
shall hear.
I went to the bazaar, where I called a crier aside, and strewing
him the necklace, told him I wished to sell it, and desired him
to show it to the principal jewellers. The crier was surprised to
see such a valuable ornament. "How beautiful," exclaimed he,
gazing upon it with admiration, "never did our merchants see any
thing so rich; I am sure I shall oblige them highly in strewing
it to them; and you need not doubt they will set a high price
upon it, in emulation of each other." He carried me to a shop
which proved to be my landlord's: "Stop here," said the crier, "I
will return presently and bring you an answer."
While he was running about to shew the necklace, I sat with the
jeweller, who was glad to see me, and we conversed on different
subjects. The crier returned, and calling me aside, instead of
telling me the necklace was valued at two thousand sherifs,
assured me nobody would give me more than fifty. "The reason is,"
added he, "the pearls are false; consider if you will part with
it at that price." I took him at his word, wanting money. "Go,"
said I, "I take your word, and that of those who know better than
myself; deliver it to them, and bring me the money immediately."
The crier had been ordered to offer me fifty sherifs by one of
the richest jewellers in town who had only made that offer to
sound me, and try if I was well acquainted with the value of the
pearls. He had no sooner received my answer, than he carried the
crier to the judge, and shewing him the necklace; "Sir," said he,
"here is a necklace which was stolen from me, and the thief,
under the character of a merchant, has had the impudence to offer
it to sale, and is at this minute in the bazaar. He is willing to
take fifty sherifs for a necklace that is worth two thousand
which is a clear proof of his having stolen it."
The Judge sent immediately to seize me, and when I came before
him, he asked me if the necklace he had in his hand was not the
same that I had exposed to sale in the bazaar. I told him it was.
"Is it true," demanded he, "that you are willing to sell it for
fifty sherifs,?" I answered I was. "Well," continued he, in a
scoffing way "give him the bastinado; he will quickly confess
notwithstanding his merchant's disguise, that he is only an
artful thief; let him be beaten till he owns his guilt." The pain
of the torture made me tell a lie; I confessed, though it was not
true that I had stolen the necklace; and the judge ordered my
hand to be cut off according to the sentence of our law.
This made a great noise in the bazaar, and I was scarcely
returned to my house when my landlord came. "My son," said he,
"you seem to be a young man well educated, and of good sense; how
is it possible you could be guilty of such an unworthy action, as
that I hear talked of? You gave me an account of your property
yourself, and I do not doubt but the account was just. Why did
not you request money of me, and I would have lent it you?
However, after what has happened, I cannot allow you to remain
longer in my house; you must go and seek for other lodgings." I
was extremely troubled at this; and entreated the jeweller, with
tears in my eyes, to let me stay three days longer; which he
granted.
"Alas," thought I, "this misfortune and affront are unsufferable;
how shall I dare to return to Moussol? Nothing I can say to my
father will persuade him that I am innocent."
Three hours after this fatal accident my house was forcibly
entered by the judge's officers, accompanied by my landlord, and
the merchant who had falsely accused me of having stolen the
necklace. I asked them, what brought them there? But instead of
giving me any answer, they bound and gagged me, calling me a
thousand abusive names, and telling me the necklace belonged to
the governor of Damascus, who had lost it above three years
before, and that one of his daughters had not been heard of
since. Judge of my sensations when I heard this intelligence.
However, I summoned all my resolution, "I will," thought I, "tell
the governor the truth, and it will rest with him either to put
me to death, or to protect my innocence."
When I was brought before him, I observed he looked upon me with
an eye of compassion, from whence I augured well. He ordered me
to be untied, and addressing himself to the jeweller who accused
me, and to my landlord: "Is this the man," asked he, "that sold
the pearl necklace?" They had no sooner answered yes, than he
continued, "I am sure he did not steal the necklace, and I am
much astonished at the injustice that has been done him." These
words giving me courage: "Sir," said I, "I do assure you I am
perfectly innocent. I am likewise fully persuaded the necklace
never did belong to my accuser, whom I never saw, and whose
horrible perfidy is the cause of my unjust treatment. It is true,
I made a confession as if I had stolen it; but this I did
contrary to my conscience, through the force of torture, and for
another reason that I am ready to give you, if you will have the
goodness to hear me." "I know enough of it already," replied the
governor, "to do you one part of the justice to which you are
entitled. Take from hence," continued he, "the false accuser; let
him undergo the same punishment as he caused to be inflicted on
this young man, whose innocence is known to myself."
The governor's orders were immediately put in execution; the
jeweller was punished as he deserved. Then the governor, having
ordered all present to withdraw, said to me: "My son, tell me
without fear how this necklace fell into your hands, conceal
nothing from me." I related plainly all that had passed, and
declared I had chosen rather to pass for a thief than to reveal
that tragical adventure. "Good God," exclaimed the governor, "thy
judgments are incomprehensible, and we ought to submit to them
without murmuring. I receive, with entire submission, the stroke
thou hast been pleased to inflict upon me." Then directing his
discourse to me: "My son," said he, "having now heard the cause
of your disgrace, for which I am truly concerned, I will give you
an account of the affliction which has befallen myself. Know
then, that I am the father of both the young ladies you were
speaking of. The first lady, who had the impudence to come to
your house, was my eldest daughter. I had given her in marriage
at Cairo to one of her cousins, my brother's son. Her husband
died, and she returned home corrupted by every vice too often
contracted in Egypt. Before I took her home, her younger sister,
who died in that deplorable manner in your arms, was a truly
virtuous girl, and had never given me any occasion to complain of
her conduce. But after that, the elder sister became very
intimate with her, and insensibly made her as wicked as herself.
The day after the death of the younger not finding her at home, I
asked her elder sister what was become of her; but she, instead
of answering, affected to weep bitterly; from whence I formed a
fatal presage. I pressed her to inform me of what she knew
respecting her sister Father,' replied she, sobbing, I can tell
you no more than that my sister put on yesterday her richest
dress, with her valuable pearl necklace, went out, and has not
been heard of since.' I searched for her all over the town, but
could learn nothing of her unhappy fate. In the mean time the
elder, who doubtless repented of her jealous fury, became
melancholy, and incessantly bewailed the death of her sister; she
denied her self all manner of food, and so put an end to her
deplorable days. Such is the condition of mankind! such are the
misfortunes to which we are exposed! However, my son," added he,
"since we are both of us equally unfortunate, let us unite our
sorrow, and not abandon one another. I will give you in marriage
a third daughter I have still left, she is younger than her
sisters, and in no respect imitates their conduct; besides, she
is handsomer, and I assure you is of a disposition calculated to
make you happy. You shall have no other house but mine, and,
after my death, you and she shall be heirs to all my property."
"My lord," I replied, "I am overcome by your favours, and shall
never be able to make a sufficient acknowledgment." "Enough,"
said he, interrupting me, "let us not waste time in idle words."
He then called for witnesses, ordered the contract of marriage to
be drawn, and I became the husband of his third daughter. He was
not satisfied with punishing the jeweller, who had falsely
accused me, but confiscated for my use all his property, which
was very considerable. As for the rest, since you have been
called to the governor's house, you may have seen what respect
they pay me there. I must tell you further, that a person
despatched by my uncles to Egypt, on purpose to inquire for me
there, passing through this city found me out last night, and
delivered me a letter from them. They inform me of my father's
death, and invite me to come and take possession of his property
at Moussol. But as the alliance and friendship of the governor
have fixed me here, and will not suffer me to leave him, I have
sent back the express with a power, which will secure to me my
inheritance. After what you have heard, I hope you will pardon my
seeming incivility during the course of my illness, in giving you
my left instead of my right hand.
" This," said the Jewish physician, "is the story I heard from
the young man of Moussol. I continued at Damascus as long as the
governor lived; after his death, being still in the vigour of my
age, I had the curiosity to travel. Accordingly I went through
Persia to the Indies, and came at last to settle in this your
capital, where I have practised physic with reputation."
The sultan of Casgar was well pleased with this story. "I must
confess," said he to the Jew, "the story you have told me is very
singular; but I declare freely, that of the little hump-back is:
yet more extraordinary, and much more diverting; so you are not
to expect that I will give you your life, any more than the rest.
I will have you all four executed." "Pray, sir, stay a minute,"
said the tailor, advancing, and prostrating himself at the
sultan's feet. "Since your majesty loves pleasant stories, I have
one to tell you that will not displease you." "Well, I will hear
thee too," said the sultan; "but do not flatter thyself that I
will suffer thee to live, unless thou tellest me some adventure
that is yet more diverting than that of my hump-backed jester."
Upon this the tailor, as if he had been sure of success, spoke
boldly to the following purpose.
The Story told by the Tailor.
A citizen of this city did me the honour two days ago to invite
me to an entertainment, which he was to give to his friends
yesterday morning. Accordingly I went early, and found there
about twenty persons.
The master of the house was gone out upon some business, but in a
short time returned, and brought with him a young man, a
stranger, very well dressed, and handsome, but lame. When he
entered, we all rose, and out of respect to the master of the
house, invited the young man to sit down with us upon the
estrade. He was going to comply; but suddenly perceiving a barber
in our company, flew backwards, and made towards the door. The
master of the house, surprised at his behaviour, stopped him.
"Where are you going?" demanded he. "I bring you along with me to
do me the honour of being my guest among the rest of my friends,
and you are no sooner got into my house, than you are for running
away." "Sir," replied the young man, "for God's sake do not stop
me, let me go, I cannot without horror look upon that abominable
barber, who, though he was born in a country where all the
natives are white, resembles an Ethiopian; and his soul is yet
blacker and more horrible than his face."
We were all surprised to hear the young man speak in this manner,
and began to have a very bad opinion of the barber, without
knowing what ground the young man had for what he said. Nay, we
protested we would not suffer any one to remain in our company,
who bore so horrid a character. The master of the house intreated
the stranger to tell us what reason he had for hating the barber.
"Gentlemen," resumed the young man, "you must know this cursed
barber is the cause of my being lame, and having fallen into the
most ridiculous and teasing situation you can imagine. For this
reason I have sworn to avoid all the places where he is, and even
not to stay in the cities where he resides. It was for this
reason that I left Bagdad, where he then dwelt; and travelled so
far to settle in this city, at the extremity of Tartary; a place
where I flattered myself I should never see him. And now, after
all, contrary to my expectation, I find him here. This obliges
me, gentlemen, against my will, to deprive myself of the honour
of being merry with you. This very day I shall take leave of your
town, and go, if I can, to hide my head where he cannot come."
This said, he would have left us, but the master of the house
earnestly intreated him to stay, and tell us the cause of his
aversion for the barber, who all this while looked down and said
not a word. We joined with the master of the house in his
request; and at last the young man, yielding to our
importunities, sat down; and, after turning his back on the
barber, that he might not see him, gave us the following
narrative of his adventures.
My father's quality might have entitled him to the highest posts
in the city of Bagdad, but he always preferred a quiet life to
the honours of a public station. I was his only child, and when
he died I had finished my education, and was of age to dispose of
the plentiful fortune he had left me; which I did not squander
away foolishly, but applied to such uses as obtained for me
everybody's respect. I had not yet been disturbed by any passion:
I was so far from being sensible of love, that I bashfully
avoided the conversation of women. One day, walking in the
streets, I saw a large party of ladies before me; and that I
might not meet them, I turned down a narrow lane, and sat down
upon a bench by a door. I was placed opposite a window, where
stood a pot of beautiful flowers, on which I had my eyes fixed,
when the window opened, and a young lady appeared, whose beauty
struck me. Immediately she fixed her eyes upon me; and in
watering the flowerpot with a hand whiter than alabaster, looked
upon me with a smile, that inspired me with as much love for her
as I had formerly aversion for all women. After having watered
her flowers, and darted upon me a glance full of charms that
pierced my heart, she shut the window, and left me in
inconceivable perplexity, from which I should not have recovered,
if a noise in the street had not brought me to myself. I lifted
up my head, and turning, saw the first cauzee of the city,
mounted on a mule, and attended by five or six servants: he
alighted at the door of the house, where the young lady had
opened the window, and went in; from whence I concluded he was
her father. I went home in an altered state of mind; agitated by
a passion the more violent, as I had never felt its assaults
before: I retired to bed in a violent fever, at which all the
family were much concerned. My relations, who had a great
affection for me, were so alarmed by the sudden disorder, that
they importuned me to tell the cause; which I took care not to
discover. My silence created an uneasiness that the physicians
could not dispel, because they knew nothing of my distemper, and
by their medicines rather inflamed than checked it. My relations
began to despair of my life, when an old lady of our
acquaintance, hearing I was ill, came to see me. She considered
me with great attention, and after having examined me,
penetrated, I know not how, into the real cause of my illness.
She took my relations aside, and desired all my people would
retire out of the room, and leave her with me alone.
When the room was clear, she sat down on the side of my bed. "My
son," said she, "you have obstinately concealed the cause of your
illness; but you have no occasion to reveal it to me. I have
experience enough to penetrate into a secret; you will not deny
when I tell you it is love that makes you sick. I can find a way
to cure you, if you will but inform me who that happy lady is,
that could move a heart so insensible as yours; for you have the
character of a woman-hater, and I was not the last who perceived
that such was your disposition; but what I foresaw has come to
pass, and I am now glad of the opportunity to employ my talents
in relieving your pain."
The old lady having thus spoken, paused, expecting my answer; but
though what she had said had made a strong impression upon me, I
durst not lay open to her the bottom of my heart; I only turned
to her, and heaved a deep sigh, without replying a word. "Is it
bashfulness," said she, "that keeps you silent? Or is it want of
confidence in me? Do you doubt the effect of my promise? I could
mention to you a number of young men of your acquaintance, who
have been in the same condition with yourself, and have received
relief from me."
The good lady told me so many more circumstances that I broke
silence, declared to her my complaint, pointed out to her the
place where I had seen the object which occasioned it, and
unravelled all the circumstances of my adventure. "If you
succeed," added I, "and procure me the happiness of seeing that
charming beauty, and revealing to her the passion with which I
burn for her, you may depend upon it I will be grateful." "My
son," replied the old woman, "I know the lady you speak of; she
is, as you rightly judged, the daughter of the first cauzee of
this city: I am not surprised that you are in love with her. She
is the handsomest and most lovely lady in Bagdad, but very proud,
and of difficult access. You know how strict our judges are, in
enjoining the punctual observance of the severe laws that confine
women; and they are yet more strict in the observation of them in
their own families; the cauzee you saw is more rigid in that
point than any of the other magistrates. They are always
preaching to their daughters what a heinous crime it is to shew
themselves to men; and the girls themselves are so prepossessed
with the notion, that they make no other use of their own eves
but to conduct them along the street, when necessity obliges them
to go abroad. I do not say absolutely that the first cauzee's
daughter is of that humour; but that does not hinder my fearing
to meet with as great obstacles on her side, as on her father's.
Would to God you had loved any other, then I should not have had
so many difficulties to surmount. However, I will employ all my
wits to compass the matter; but it requires time. In the mean
while take courage and trust to me."
The old woman took leave; and as I weighed within myself all the
obstacles she had been talking of, the fear of her not succeeding
in her undertaking inflamed my disorder. Next day she came again,
and I read in her countenance that she had no favourable news to
impart. She spoke thus: "My son, I was not mistaken, I have
somewhat else to conquer besides the vigilance of a father. You
love an insensible object, who takes pleasure in making every one
miserable who suffers himself to be charmed by her; she will not
deign them the least comfort: she heard me with pleasure, when I
spoke of nothing but the torment she made you undergo; but I no
sooner opened my mouth to engage her to allow you to see her, and
converse with her, but casting at me a terrible look, You are
very presumptuous,' said she, to make such a proposal to me; I
charge you never to insult me again with such language.'
"Do not let this cast you down," continued she; "I am not easily
disheartened, and am not without hope but I shall compass my
end." To shorten my story, this good woman made several fruitless
attacks in my behalf on the proud enemy of my rest. The vexation
I suffered inflamed my distemper to that degree, that my
physicians gave me over. I was considered as a dead man, when the
old woman came to recall me to life.
That no one might hear what was said, she whispered in my ear;
"Remember the present you owe for the good news I bring you."
These words produced a marvellous effect; I raised myself up in
the bed, and with transport replied, "You shall not go without a
present; but what is the news you bring me?" "Dear sir," said she
"you shall not die; I shall speedily have the pleasure to see you
in perfect health, and very well satisfied with me. Yesterday I
went to see the lady you love, and found her in good humour. As
soon as I entered, I put on a sad countenance heaved many deep
sighs, and began to squeeze out some tears. My good mother,'
demanded she what is the matter with you, why are you so cast
down?' Alas, my dear and honourable lady,' I replied, I have
just been with the young gentleman of whom I spoke to you the
other day, who is dying on your account.' I am at a loss to
know,' said she, how you make me to be the cause of his death.
How can I have contributed to it?' How?' replied I; did not you
tell me the other day, that he sat down before your window when
you opened it to water your flower-pot? He then saw that prodigy
of beauty, those charms that your mirror daily represents to you.
From that moment he languished, and his disorder has so
increased, that he is reduced to the deplorable condition I have
mentioned.'
"You well remember,' added I, how harshly you treated me at our
last interview; when I was speaking to you of his illness, and
proposing a way to save him from the threatened consequences of
his complaint. After I left you I went directly to his house, and
he no sooner learnt from my countenance that I had brought no
favourable answer than his distemper increased. From that time,
madam, he has been at the point of death; and I doubt whether
your compassion would not now come too late to save his life.'
The fear of your death alarmed her, and I saw her face change
colour. Is your account true?' she asked. Has he actually no
other disorder than what is occasioned by his love of me?' Ah,
madam!' I replied, it is too true; would it were false!' Do you
believe,' said she, that the hopes of seeing me would at all
contribute to rescue him from his danger?' I answered, Perhaps
it may, and if you will permit me, I will try the remedy.'?
Well,' resumed she, sighing, give him hopes of seeing me; but
he must pretend to no other favours, unless he aspire to marry
me, and obtains my father's consent.' Madam,' replied I. your
goodness overcomes me; I will instantly seek the young gentleman,
and tell him he is to have the pleasure of an interview with
you.' The best opportunity I can think of,' said she, for
granting him that favour, will be next Friday at the hour of noon
prayers. Let him observe when my father goes out, and then, if
his health permits him to be abroad, come and place himself
opposite the house. I shall then see him from my window, and will
come down and open the door for him: we will converse together
during prayer-time; but he must depart before my father returns.'
"It is now Tuesday," continued the old lady "you have the
interval between this and Friday to recover your strength, and
make the necessary dispositions for the interview." While the
good old lady was speaking, I felt my illness decrease, or
rather, by the time she had done, I found myself perfectly
recovered. "Here, take this," said I, reaching out to her my
purse, which was full, "it is to you alone that I owe my cure. I
reckon this money better employed than all that I gave the
physicians, who have only tormented me during my illness."
When the lady was gone, I found I had strength enough to get up:
and my relations finding me so well, complimented me on the
occasion, and went home.
On Friday morning the old woman came, just as I was dressing, and
choosing out the richest clothes in my wardrobe, said, "I do not
ask you how you are, what you are about is intimation enough of
your health; but will not you bathe before you go?" "That will
take up too much time," I replied; "I will content myself with
sending for a barber, to shave my head." Immediately I ordered
one of my slaves to call a barber that could do his business
cleverly and expeditiously.
The slave brought me the wretch you see here, who came, and after
saluting me, said, "Sir, you look as if you were not well." I
told him I was just recovered from a fit of sickness. "May God,"
resumed he, "deliver you from all mischance; may his grace always
go along with you." "I hope he will grant your wish, for which I
am obliged to you." "Since you are recovering from a fit of
sickness," he continued, "I pray God preserve your health; but
now let me know what I am to do; I have brought my razors and my
lancets, do you desire to be shaved or to be bled?" I replied, "I
am just recovered from a fit of sickness, and you may readily
judge I only want to be shaved: come, do not lose time in
prattling; for I am in haste, and have an appointment precisely
at noon."
The barber spent much time in opening his case, and preparing his
razors Instead of putting water into the basin, he took a very
handsome astrolabe out of his case, and went very gravely out of
my room to the middle of the court to take the height of the sun:
he returned with the same grave pace, and entering my room, said,
"Sir, you will be pleased to know this day is Friday the 18th of
the moon Suffir, in the year 653, from the retreat of our great
prophet from Mecca to Medina, and in the year 7320 of the epocha
of the great Iskender with two horns; and that the conjunction of
Mars and Mercury signifies you cannot choose a better time than
this very day and hour for being shaved. But, on the other hand,
the same conjunction is a bad presage to you. I learn from it,
that this day you run a great risk, not indeed of losing your
life, but of an inconvenience which will attend you while you
live. You are obliged to me for the advice I now give you, to
avoid this accident; I shall be sorry if it befall you."
You may guess, gentlemen, how vexed I was at having fallen into
the hands of such a prattling, impertinent fellow; what an
unseasonable adventure was it for a lover preparing for an
interview with his mistress! I was quite irritated. "I care not,"
said I, in anger, "for your advice and predictions; I did not
call you to consult your astrology; you came hither to shave me;
shave me, or begone." "I will call another barber, sir," replied
he, with a coolness that put me out of all patience; "what reason
have you to be angry with me? You do not know, that all of my
profession are not like me; and that if you made it your business
to search, you would not find such another. You only sent for a
barber; but here, in my person, you have the best barber in
Bagdad, an experienced physician, a profound chemist, an
infallible astrologer, a finished grammarian, a complete orator,
a subtle logician, a mathematician perfectly well versed in
geometry, arithmetic, astronomy, and all the refinements of
algebra; an historian fully master of the histories of all the
kingdoms of the universe. Besides, I understand all parts of
philosophy. I have all our sacred traditions by heart. I am a
poet, I am an architect; and what is it I am not? There is
nothing in nature hidden from me. Your deceased father, to whose
memory I pay a tribute of tears every time I think of him, was
fully convinced of my merit; he was fond of me, and spoke of me
in all companies as the first man in the world. Out of gratitude
and friendship for him, I am willing to attach myself to you, to
take you under my protection, and guard you from all the evils
that your stars may threaten."
When I heard all this jargon, I could not forbear laughing,
notwithstanding my anger. "You impertinent prattler!" said I,
"will you have done, and begin to shave me?"
"Sir," replied the barber, "you affront me in calling me a
prattler; on the contrary, all the world gives me the honourable
title of Silent. I had six brothers, whom you might justly have
called prattlers. These indeed were impertinent chatterers, but
for me, who am a younger brother, I am grave and concise in my
discourse."
For God's sake, gentlemen, do but suppose you had been in my
place. What could I say when I saw myself so cruelly delayed?
"Give him three pieces of gold," said I to the slave who was my
housekeeper, "and send him away, that he may disturb me no more;
I will not be shaved this day." "Sir," said the barber, "pray
what do you mean? I did not come to seek for you, you sent for
me; and as that is the case I swear by the faith of a Moosulmaun,
I will not stir out of these doors till I have shaved you. If you
do not know my value, it is not my fault. Your deceased father
did me more justice. Every time he sent for me to let him blood,
he made me sit down by him, and was charmed with hearing what
witty things I said. I kept him in a continual strain of
admiration; I elevated him; and when I had finished my discourse,
My God,' he would exclaim, you are an inexhaustible source of
science, no man can reach the depth of your knowledge.' My dear
sir,' I would answer, you do me more honour than deserve. If I
say anything that is worth hearing, it is owing to the favourable
audience you vouchsafe me; it is your liberality that inspires me
with the sublime thoughts which have the happiness to please
you.' One day, when he was charmed with an admirable discourse I
had made him, he said, Give him a hundred pieces of gold, and
invest him with one of my richest robes.' I instantly received
the present. I then drew his horoscope, and found it the happiest
in the world. Nav. I carried my gratitude further; I let him
blood with cupping-glasses."
This was not all; he spun out another harangue that was a full
half hour long. Tired with hearing him, and fretted at the loss
of time, which was almost spent before I was half ready, I did
not know what to say. "It is impossible," I exclaimed, "there
should be such another man in the world who takes pleasure, as
you do, in making people mad."
I thought I might perhaps succeed better if I dealt mildly with
my barber. "In the name of God," said I, "leave off talking, and
shave me directly: business of the last importance calls me, as I
have already told you." At these words he fell a laughing: "It
would be fortunate," said he, "if our minds were always in the
same state; if we were always wise and prudent. I am willing,
however, to believe, that if you are angry with me, it is your
disorder that has caused the change in your temper, for which
reason you stand in need of some instructions, and you cannot do
better than follow the example of your father and grandfather.
They came and consulted me upon all occasions, and I can say,
without vanity, that they always highly prized my advice. Pray
observe, sir, men never succeed in their undertakings without the
counsel of persons of understanding. A man cannot, says the
proverb, be wise without receiving advice from the wise. I am
entirely at service, and you have only to command me."
"What! cannot I prevail with you then," I demanded,, interrupting
him, "to leave off these long speeches, that tend to nothing but
to distract my head, and detain me from my business? Shave me, I
say, or begone:" with that I started up in anger, stamping my
foot against the ground.
When he saw I was in earnest, he said, "Sir, do not be angry, we
are going to begin." He lathered my head, and began to shave me;
but had not given four strokes with his razor before he stopped,
and addressed me, "Sir, you are hasty, you should avoid these
transports that only come from the devil. I am entitled to some
consideration on account of my age, my knowledge, and my great
virtues."
"Go on and shave me," said I, interrupting him again, "and talk
no more." "That is to say," replied he, "you have some urgent
business to go about; I will lay you a wager I guess right." "Why
I told you two hours ago," I returned, "you ought to have shaved
me before." "Moderate your passion," replied he; "perhaps you
have not maturely weighed what you are going about; when things
are done precipitately, they are generally repented of. I wish
you would tell me what mighty business this is you are so earnest
upon. I would tell you my opinion of it; besides, you have time
enough, since your appointment is not till noon, and it wants
three hours of that yet." "I do not mind that," said I; "persons
of honour and of their word are rather before their time than
after. But I forget that by reasoning with you, I give into the
faults of you prattling barbers; have done, have done; shave me."
The more haste I was in, the less speed he made. He laid down the
razor, and took up his astrolabe; then laid down his astrolabe,
and took up his razor again.
The barber quitted his razor again, and took up his astrolabe a
second time; and so left me half shaved, to go and see precisely
what hour it was. Back he came, and exclaimed, "Sir, I knew I was
not mistaken, it wants three hours of noon. I am sure of it, or
else all the rules of astronomy are false." "Just heaven!" cried
I, "my patience is exhausted, I can bear this no longer. You
cursed barber, you barber of mischief, I can scarcely forbear
falling upon you and strangling you." "Softly, sir," said he,
very calmly, without being moved by my anger: "are you not afraid
of a relapse? Be not in a passion, I am going to shave you this
minute." In speaking these words, he clapped his astrolabe in his
case, took up his razor, and passing it over the strap which was
fixed to his belt, fell to shaving me again; but all the while he
was thus employed, the dog could not forbear prattling. "If you
would be pleased, sir," said he, "to tell me what the business is
you are going about at noon, I could give you some advice that
might be of use to you." To satisfy the fellow, I told him I was
going to meet some friends at an entertainment at noon, to make
merry with me on the recovery of ray health.
When the barber heard me talk of regaling; "God bless you this
day, as well as all other days!" he cried: "you put me in mind
that yesterday I invited four or five friends to come and eat
with me as this day; indeed I had forgotten the engagement, and
have made no preparation for them." "Do not let that trouble
you," said I; "though I dine abroad, my larder is always well
furnished. I make you a present of all that it contains; and
besides, I will order you as much wine as you have occasion for;
I have excellent wine in my cellar; only you must hasten to
finish shaving me: and pray remember, as my father made you
presents to encourage you to speak, I give you mine to induce you
to be silent."
He was not satisfied with my promise, but exclaimed, "God reward
you, sir, for your kindness: pray shew me these provisions now,
that I may see if there will be enough to entertain my friends. I
would have them satisfied with the good fare I make them." "I
have," said I, "a lamb, six capons, a dozen chickens, and enough
to make four courses." I ordered a slave to bring all before him,
with four great pitchers of wine. "It is very well," returned the
barber; "but we shall want fruit, and sauce for the meat." These
I ordered likewise; but then he left off shaving, to look over
every thing one after another; and this survey lasted almost half
an hour. I raged and stormed like a madman; but it signified
nothing, the wretch made no more haste. However, he took up his
razor again, and shaved me for some minutes; then stopping
suddenly, exclaimed, "I could not have believed, sir, that you
would have been so liberal; I begin to perceive that your
deceased father lives again in you. Most certainly, I do not
deserve the favours with which you have loaded me; and I assure
you I shall have them in perpetual remembrance; for, sir, to let
you know, I have nothing but what I obtain from the generosity of
such gentlemen as you: in which respect, I am like to Zantout,
who rubs the people in the baths; to Sali, who cries boiled peas
in the streets; to Salout, who sells beans; to Akerscha, who
sells greens; to Aboumecarez, who sprinkles the streets to lay
the dust; and to Cassem, the caliph's lifeguard man. Of all these
persons, not one is apt so be melancholy; they are neither
impertinent nor quarrelsome; they are more contented with their
lot, than the caliph in the midst of his court; they are always
gay, ready to sing and dance, and have each of them their
peculiar song and dance, with which they divert the city of
Bagdad; but what I esteem most in them is, that they are no great
talkers, any more than your slave, that has bow the honour to
speak to you. Here, sir, is the song and dance of Zantout, who
rubs the people in the baths; mind me, pray, and see if I do not
imitate it exactly."
The barber sung the song, and danced the dance of Zantout; and
let me say what I could to oblige him to finish his buffooneries,
he did not cease till he had imitated, in like manner, the songs
and dances of the other persons he had named. "After that,"
addressing himself to me, "I am going," said he, "to invite all
these honest men to my house; if you will take my advice you will
join us, and disappoint your friends, who perhaps are great
talkers. They will only teaze you to death with their impertinent
discourse, and make you relapse into a disorder worse than that
from which you are so lately recovered; whereas at my house you
shall have nothing but pleasure."
Notwithstanding my anger, I could not forbear laughing at the
fellow's impertinence. "I wish I had no business upon my hands,"
I replied, "I would accept your invitation, and go with all my
heart to partake of your entertainment; but I beg to be excused,
I am too much engaged; another day I shall be more at leisure,
and then we will make up the same party. Come, finish shaving me,
and make haste home; perhaps your friends are already arrived at
your house." "Sir," replied he, "do not refuse me the favour I
ask of you; were you but once in our company, it would afford you
so much pleasure as abundantly to compensate you for forsaking
your friends." "Let us talk no more of that," said I; "I cannot
be your guest."
I found I gained no ground by mild terms. "Since you will not
come to my house," replied the barber, "you must allow me to go
along with you: I will carry these things to my house, where my
friends may eat of them if they like, and I will return
immediately; I would not be so uncivil as to leave you alone. You
deserve this piece of complaisance at my hands." "Heavens!" cried
I, "then I shall not get clear of this troublesome fellow to-day.
In the name of the living God, leave off your unreasonable
jargon; go to your friends, drink, eat, and be merry with them,
and leave me at liberty to go to mine. I must go alone, I have no
occasion for company; besides, I must needs tell you, the place
to which I go is not one where you can be received." "You jest,
sir," said he; "if your friends have invited you to a feast, what
should prevent you from allowing me to go with you? You will
please them, I am sure, by introducing to them a man who can talk
wittily like me, and knows how to divert company. But say what
you will, I am determined to accompany you."
These words, gentlemen, perplexed me much. "How," thought I,
"shall I get rid of this cursed barber? If I persist in
contradicting him, we shall never have done."
Besides, I heard at this instant the first call to noon-prayers,
and it was time for me to go. In fine, I resolved to say nothing,
and to make as if I consented to his accompanying me. He then
finished shaving me, and I said to him, "Take some of my servants
to carry these provisions along with you, and return hither; I
will stay for you, and shall not go without you."
At last he went, and I dressed myself as expeditiously as I
could. I heard the last call to prayers, and hastened to set out:
but the malicious barber, who guessed my intention, went with my
servants only within sight of the house and stood there till he
saw them enter it, after which he concealed himself at the corner
of the street, with an intent to observe and follow me. In fine,
when I arrived at the cauzee's door, I looked back and saw him at
the head of the street which alarmed me to the last degree.
The cauzee's door was half open, and as I went in I saw an old
woman waiting for me, who, after she had shut the door, conducted
me to the chamber of the young lady who was the object of my
love; but we had scarcely begun to converse, when we heard a
noise in the streets. The young lady put her head to the window,
and saw through the gate that it was her father already returning
from prayers. At the same time I looked, and saw the barber
sitting over-against the house, on the bench from which I had
first seen the young lady.
I had then two things to fear, the arrival of the cauzee, and the
presence of the barber. The young lady mitigated my apprehension
on the first head, by assuring me the cauzee, came but seldom to
her chamber, and as she had forseen that this misadventure might
happen, she had contrived a way to convey me out safely: but the
indiscretion of the accursed barber made me very uneasy; and you
shall hear that my uneasiness was not without ground.
As soon as the cauzee was come in, he caned one of his slaves,
who had deserved chastisement. This slave made a horrid noise,
which was heard in the streets; the barber thought it was I who
cried out, and was maltreated. Prepossessed with this thought, he
roared out aloud, rent his clothes, threw dust upon his head, and
called the neighbourhood to his assistance. The neighbours
collected, and asked what assistance he wanted? "Alas!" cried he,
"they are assassinating my master, my dear patron;" and without
saying anything more, he ran all the way to my house, with the
very same cry in his mouth. From thence he returned, followed by
all my domestics armed with sticks. They knocked with
inconceivable fury at the door, and the cauzee sent slave to see
what was the matter; but the slave being frightened, returned to
his master, crying, "Sir, above ten thousand men are going to
break into your house by force."
Immediately the cauzee himself ran, opened the door, and asked
what they wanted. His venerable presence could not inspire them
with respect. They insolently said to him, "You cursed cauzee,
what reason have you to assassinate our master? What has he done
to you?" "Good people," replied the magistrate, "for what should
I assassinate your master, whom I do not know and who has done me
no harm? my house is open to you, come and search." "You
bastinadoed him," said the barber; "I heard his cries not a
minute ago." "What harm could your master do to me," replied the
cauzee, "to oblige me to abuse him at that rate? Is he in my
house? If he is, how came he in, or who could have introduced
him?" "Ah! wretched cauzee, cried the barber, "you and your long
beard shall never make me believe you; I know your daughter is in
love with our master, and appointed him a meeting during the time
of noon-prayer, you without doubt have had notice of it, returned
home, and surprised him, and made your slaves bastinado him: but
this your wicked action shall not pass with impunity; the caliph
shall be acquainted with it, and he will give true and brief
justice. Let him come out, deliver him to us immediately; or if
you do not, we will go in and take him out to your shame." "There
is no occasion for so many words," replied the cauzee, "nor to
make so great a noise: if what you say is true, go and find him
out, I give you free liberty." Thereupon the barber and my
domestics rushed into the house like furies, and looked for me
all about.
As I heard all that the barber said to the cauzee, I sought for a
place to conceal myself, and could find nothing but a large empty
trunk, in which I lay down, and shut it upon me. The barber,
after he had searched everywhere, came into the chamber where I
was, and opened the trunk. As soon as he saw me, he took it upon
his head and carried it away. He descended a high staircase into
a court, which he crossed hastily, and at length reached the
street door. While he was carrying me, the trunk unfortunately
flew open, and not being able to endure the shame of being
exposed to the view and shouts of the mob who followed us, I
leaped out into the street with so much haste, that I have been
lame ever since. I was not sensible of the hurt at first, and
therefore got up quickly to avoid the people, who laughed at me;
nay, I threw handfuls of gold and silver among them, and whilst
they were gathering it up, I made my escape by cross streets and
alleys. But the cursed barber followed me close, crying, "Stay,
sir; why do you run so fast? If you knew how much I am afflicted
at the ill treatment you received from the cauzee, you, who are
so generous, and to whom I and my friends are so much obliged!
Did I not tell you truly, that you would expose your life by your
obstinate refusal to let me go with you? See what has happened to
you, by your own fault; and if I had not resolutely followed, to
see whither you went, what would have become of you? Whither do
you go, sir? Stay for me."
Thus the barber cried aloud in the street it was not enough for
him to have occasioned so great a scandal in the quarter where
the cauzee lived, but he would have it known through the whole
town. I was in such a rage, that I had a great mind to stop and
cut his throat; but considering this would have perplexed me
farther, I chose another course. Perceiving that his calling
after me exposed me to vast numbers of people, who crowded to the
doors or windows, or stopped in the street to gaze at me, I
entered an inn, the chamberlain of which knew me, and finding him
at the gate, whither the noise had brought him, I prayed him, for
the sake of heaven, to hinder that madman from coming in after
me. He promised to do so, and was as good as his word, but not
without a great deal of trouble; for the obstinate barber would
enter in spite of him, and did not retire without calling him a
thousand names. After the chamberlain had shut the gate, the
barber continued telling all he met what great service he had
done me. Thus I rid myself of that troublesome fellow. After
this, the chamberlain prayed me to tell him my adventure, which I
did, and then desired him to let me have an apartment until I was
cured . "But sir," said he, "will it not be more convenient for
you to go home?" "I will not return thither," replied I: "for the
detestable barber will continue plaguing me there, and I shall
die of vexation to be continually teazed by him. Besides, after
what has befallen me to-day, I cannot think of staying any longer
in this town; I must go whither my ill-fortune leads me."
Accordingly, when I was. cured, I took all the money I thought
necessary for my travels, and divided the rest of my property
among my kindred.
Thus, gentlemen, I left Bagdad, and came hither. I had ground to
hope that I should not meet this pernicious barber in a country
so far from my own, and yet I find him amongst you. Be not
surprised then at my haste to be gone: you may easily judge how
unpleasant to me is the sight of a man who was the occasion of my
lameness, and of my being reduced to the melancholy necessity of
living so far from my kindred, friends, and country.
When he had spoken these words, the lame young man rose up and
went out; the master of the house conducted him to the gate, and
told him, he was sorry that he had given him, though innocently,
so great a subject of mortification.
When the young man was gone, continued the tailor, we were all
astonished at the story, and turning to the barber, told him he
was very much to-blame, if what we had just heard was true.
"Gentlemen," answered he, raising up his head, which till then he
had held down, "my silence during the young man's discourse is
sufficient to testify that he advanced nothing that was not true:
but for all that he has said to you, I maintain that I ought to
have done what I did; I leave you to be judges. Did not he throw
himself into danger, and could he have come off so well without
my assistance? He may think himself happy to have escaped with
the lame leg Did not I expose myself to greater danger to get him
out of a house where I thought he was ill-treated? Has he any
reason to complain of and abuse me? This is what one gets by
serving unthankful people. He accuses me of being a prattling
fellow, which is a mere slander: of seven brothers, I speak
least, and have most wit to my share; and to convince you of
this, gentlemen, I need only relate my own story and theirs.
Honour me, I beseech you, with your attention."
The Story of the Barber.
In the reign of the caliph Mustunsir Billah, that is, seeking
victory of God, a prince so famous for his liberality towards the
poor, ten highwaymen infested the roads about Bagdad, and for a
long time committed unheard-of robberies and cruelties. The
caliph, having notice of this, sent for the judge of the police,
some days before the feast of Bairam, and ordered him, on pain of
death, to bring all the ten to him.
The judge of the police used so much diligence, and sent so many
people in pursuit of the ten robbers, that they were taken on the
very day of Bairam. I was walking at the time on the banks of the
Tigris, and saw ten men richly appareled go into a boat. Had I
but observed the guards who had them in custody, I might have
concluded they were robbers; but my attention was fixed on the
men themselves, and thinking they were people who designed to
spend the festival in jollity, I entered the boat with them,
hoping they would not object to my making one of the company. We
descended the Tigris, and landed before the caliph's palace: I
had by this time had leisure to reflect, and to discover my
mistake. When we quitted the boat, we were surrounded by a new
troop of the judge of the police's guard, who bound us all, and
carried us before the caliph. I suffered myself to be bound as
well as the rest, without speaking one word: for what would it
have availed to have spoken, or made any resistance? That had
been the way to have got myself ill-treated by the guards, who
would not have listened to me, for they are brutish fellows, who
will hear no reason: I was with the robbers, and that was enough
to make them believe me to be one of their number.
When we had been brought before the caliph, he ordered the ten
highwaymen's heads to be cut off immediately. The executioner
drew us up in a file within reach of his arm, and by good fortune
I was placed last. He cut off the heads of the ten highwaymen,
beginning at the first; and when he came to me, he stopped. The
caliph perceiving that he did not strike me, grew angry: "Did not
I command thee," said he, "to cut off the heads of ten
highwaymen, and why hast thou cut off but nine?" "Commander of
the faithful," he replied, "Heaven preserve me from disobeying
your majesty's orders: here are ten bodies upon the ground, and
as many heads which I have cut off; your majesty may count them."
When the caliph saw that what the executioner said was true, he
looked at me with amazement, and perceiving that I had not the
face of a highwayman, said to me, "Good old man, how came you to
be among those wretches, who have deserved a thousand deaths?" I
answered, "Commander of the faithful, I will make a true
confession. This morning I saw those ten persons, whose
punishment is a proof of your majesty's justice, take boat: I
embarked with them, thinking they were men going to celebrate
this day, which is the most distinguished in our religion." The
caliph could not forbear laughing at my adventure; and instead of
treating me as a prattling fellow, as this lame young man did, he
admired my discretion and taciturnity. "Commander of the
faithful," I resumed, "your majesty need not wonder at my silence
on such an occasion, as would have made another apt to speak. I
make a particular profession of holding my peace, and on that
account have acquired the glorious title of Silent; by which I am
distinguished from my six brothers. This is the effect of my
philosophy; and, in a word, in this virtue consists my glory and
happiness." "I am glad," said the caliph, smiling, "that they
gave you a title which you know so well how to use. But tell me
what sort of men were your brothers, were they like you?" "By no
means," I replied; "they were all of them loquacious, prating
fellows. And as to their persons, there was still a greater
difference betwixt them and me. The first was hump-backed; the
second had rotten teeth; the third had but one eye; the fourth
was blind; the fifth had his ears cut off; and the sixth had
hare-lips. They had met with such adventures as would enable you
to judge of their characters, had I the honour of relating them
to your majesty:" and the caliph seemed desirous to hear their
several stories, I went on without waiting his commands.
The Story of the Barber's Eldest Brother.
My eldest brother, whose name was Bacbouc the hump-back, was a
tailor: when he came out of his apprenticeship, he hired a shop
opposite a mill, and having but very little business, could
scarcely maintain himself. The miller, on the contrary, was very
wealthy, and had a handsome wife. One day as my brother was at
work in his shop, he saw the miller's wife looking out of the
window, and was charmed with her beauty. The woman took no notice
of him, but shut her window, and made her appearance no more that
day The poor tailor did nothing all day long but lift up his eyes
towards the mill. He pricked his finger oftener than once, and
his work was not very regular. At night, when he was to shut his
shop, he could scarcely tell how to do it, because he still hoped
the miller's wife would once more come to the window; but at last
he was forced to shut up, and go home, where he passed but a very
uncomfortable night. He arose betimes in the morning, and ran to
his shop, in hopes to see his mistress; but he was no happier
than the day before, for the miller's wife did not appear at the
window above a minute in the course of the day, but that minute
made the tailor the most amorous man that ever lived. The third
day he had more ground of satisfaction, for the miller's wife
cast her eyes upon him by chance, and surprised him as he was
gazing at her, which convinced her of what passed in his mind.
No sooner did the miller's wife perceive my brother's
inclination, than, instead of allowing it to excite her
resentment, she resolved to divert herself with it. She looked at
him with a smiling countenance, and my brother returned her
smile, but in so ludicrous a way, that the miller's wife hastily
shut her window, lest her loud laughter should make him sensible
that she only ridiculed him. Poor Bacbouc interpreted her
carriage to his own advantage, and flattered himself that she
looked upon him with pleasure.
The miller's wife resolved to have sport with my brother: she had
a piece of very fine stuff, with which she had a long time
designed to make a vest; she wrapped it up in a fine embroidered
silk handkerchief, and sent it to him by a young slave whom she
kept; who being taught her lesson, went to the tailor's shop, and
told him, "My mistress gives you her service, and prays you to
make her a vest of this stuff according to this pattern; she
changes her dress often, so that her custom will be profitable to
you." My brother doubted not but the miller's wife loved him, and
thought she had sent him work so soon after what had passed
betwixt them, only to signify that she knew his mind, and
convince him that he had obtained her favour. He charged the
slave to tell her mistress, that he would lay aside all work for
hers and that the vest should be ready next morning. He worked at
it with so much diligence, that he finished it in the course of
the same day. Next morning the young slave came to see if the
vest was ready. Bacbouc delivered it to her neatly folded up,
telling her, "I am too much concerned to please your mistress to
neglect her work; I would engage her by my diligence to employ no
other than myself for the time to come." The young slave went
some steps as if she had intended to go away, and then coming
back, whispered to my brother, "I had forgotten part of my
commission; my mistress charged me to make her compliments to
you, and to ask how you passed the night; as for her, poor woman,
she loves you to that degree that she could not sleep." "Tell
her," answered my silly brother, "I have so strong a passion for
her, that for these four nights I have not slept one wink." After
such a compliment from the miller's wife, my brother thought she
would not let him languish long in expectation of her favours.
About a quarter of an hour after, the slave returned to my
brother with a piece of satin: "My mistress," said she, "is very
well pleased with her vest, nothing in the world can fit her
better, and as it is very handsome, she will not wear it without
a new pair of drawers; she prays you to make her one, as soon as
you can, of this piece of satin." "Enough," said Bacbouc, "I will
do it before I leave my shop: you shall have it in the evening."
The miller's wife shewed herself often at her window, and was
very prodigal of her charms, to encourage my brother. You would
have laughed to see him work. The pair of drawers was soon made,
and the slave came for it, but brought the tailor no money,
neither for the trimming he had bought for the vest, nor for the
making. In the mean time, this unfortunate lover, whom they only
amused, though he could not see it, had eaten nothing all that
day, and was forced to borrow money at night to buy his supper.
Next morning, as soon as he arrived at his shop, the young slave
came to tell him that the miller wanted to speak to him. "My
mistress," said she, "spoke to him so much in your praise, when
she shewed him your work, that he has a mind you should work for
him also; she does this on purpose, that the connection she
wishes to form betwixt you and him may crown your mutual wishes
with success." My brother was easily persuaded, and went to the
mill with the slave. The miller received him very kindly, and
shewed him a piece of cloth, and told him he wanted shirts, bade
him make it into twenty, and return him again what was left.
My brother had work enough for five or six days to make twenty
shirts for the miller, who afterwards gave him another piece of
cloth to make him as many pair of drawers. When they were
finished, Bacbouc carried them to the miller, who asked him what
he must have for his pains. My brother answered, he would be
content with twenty dirhems of silver. The miller immediately
called the young slave, and bade her bring him his weights to see
if his money was right. The slave, who had her lesson, looked at
my brother with an angry countenance, to signify to him, that he
would spoil all if he took money. He knew her meaning, and
refused to take any, though he wanted it so much that he was
forced to borrow some to buy the thread to sew the shirts and
drawers. When he left the miller, he came to me to borrow money
to purchase provisions, and told me they did not pay him. I gave
him some copper money I had in my purse, and upon that he
subsisted for some days. It is true, indeed, he lived upon
nothing but broth, nor had he his fill of that.
One day he went to the miller, who was busy at his work, and
thinking my brother came for money, offered him some; but the
young slave being present, made him another sign not to take it,
which he complied with, and told the miller he did not come for
his money, but only to know how he did. The miller thanked him,
and gave him an upper garment to make. Bacbouc carried it to him
the next day. When the miller drew out his purse, the young slave
gave my brother the usual sign, on which he said to the miller,
"Neighbour, there is no haste, we will reckon another time;" so
that the poor ninny went to his shop again, with three terrible
distempers, love, hunger, and an empty purse. The miller's wife
was not only avaricious, but ill-natured; for, not content with
cheating my brother of his due, she provoked her husband to
revenge himself upon him for making love to her, which they
accomplished thus. The miller invited Bacbouc one night to
supper, and after giving him a very sorry treat, said to him,
"Brother, it is too late for you to return home, you had better
stay here all night," and then took him to a place in the mill,
where there was a bed; there he left him, and went to bed with
his wife. About the middle of the night, the miller came to my
brother, and said, "Neighbour, are you asleep? My mule is ill,
and I have a quantity of corn to grind; you will do me a great
kindness if you will turn the mill in her stead." Bacbouc, to
shew his good nature, told him, he was ready to do him that
service, if he would shew him how. The miller tied him by the
middle in the mule's place, and whipping him soundly over the
back, said to him, "Go on, neighbour." "Ho!" exclaimed my
brother, "why do you beat me?" "It is to make you brisk," replied
the miller, "for without a whip my mule will not go." Bacbouc was
amazed at this treatment, but durst not complain. When he had
gone five or six rounds, he would fain have rested; but the
miller gave him a dozen sound lashes, saying, "Courage,
neighbour! do not stop, pray; you must go on without taking
breath, otherwise you will spoil my meal."
The miller obliged my brother to turn the mill thus all night.
About break of day he left him without untying him, and went to
his wife's chamber. Bacbouc continued there for some time, and at
last the young slave came and untied him. "Ah!" said the
treacherous wretch, "how my mistress and I pitied you! We had no
hand in this wicked trick which her husband has played you." The
wretched Bacbouc answered not a word, he was so much fatigued
with work and blows; but crept home to his house, resolving never
to think more of the miller's wife.
The telling of this story, continued the barber, made the caliph
laugh. "Go home," said he to me, "I have ordered something to be
given you to make up for the loss of the good dinner you
expected." "Commander of the faithful," I replied, "I pray your
majesty to let me stay till I have told the story of my other
brothers." The caliph having signified by his silence that he was
willing to hear me, I went on thus.
The Story of the Barber's Second Brother.
My second brother, who was called Backbarah the Toothless, going
one day through the city, met in a distant street an old woman,
who came up to him, and said, "I want one word with you, pray
stop a moment." He did so, and asked what she would have. "If you
have time to come with me," said she, "I will bring you into a
stately palace, where you shall see a lady as fair as the day.
She will receive you with much pleasure, and treat you with
excellent wine. I need say no more." "But is what you say true?"
demanded my brother. "I am no lying hussy," replied the old
woman. "I say nothing to you but what is true. But hark, I have
something to ask of you. You must be prudent, say but little, and
be extremely polite." Backbarah agreed to all this. The old woman
went on, and he followed her. They came to the gate of a great
palace, where there was a number of officers and domestics. Some
of them would have stopped my brother, but no sooner did the old
woman speak to them than they let him pass. Then turning to my
brother, she said to him, "You must remember that the young lady
I bring you to loves good-nature and modesty, and cannot endure
to be contradicted; if you please her in these respects, you may
be sure to obtain of her what you please." Backbarah thanked her
for this advice, and promised to follow it.
She brought him into a superb court, answerable to the
magnificence of the palace. There was a gallery round it, and a
garden in the middle. The old woman made him sit down on a
handsome sofa, and bade him stay a moment, till she went to
acquaint the young lady with his arrival.
My brother, who had never been in such a stately palace before,
gazed on the fine things that he saw; and judging of his good
fortune by the magnificence of the palace, he was scarcely able
to contain himself for joy. In a short time he heard a great
noise, occasioned by a troop of merry slaves, who came towards
him with loud fits of laughter; and in the middle of them he
perceived a young lady of extraordinary beauty, who was easily
known to be their mistress by the respect they paid her.
Backbarah, who expected private conversation with the lady, was
extremely surprised when he saw so much company with her. In the
mean time, the slaves, as they drew near, put on a grave
countenance; and when the young lady came up to the sofa, my
brother rose and made her a low obeisance. She took the upper
seat, prayed him to sit down, and said to him with a smiling
countenance, "I am much pleased to see you, and wish you all the
happiness you can desire." "Madam," replied Backbarah, "I cannot
desire a greater happiness than to be in your company." "You seem
to be of a pleasant humour," said she, "and to be disposed to
pass the time agreeably."
She commanded a collation to be brought; and immediately a table
was covered with several baskets of fruit and sweetmeats. The
lady sat down at the table with the slaves and my brother; and he
being placed just opposite to her, when he opened his mouth to
eat, she perceived he had no teeth; and taking notice of this to
her slaves, she and they laughed heartily. Backbarah, from time
to time, lifted up his head to look at her, and perceiving her
laugh, concluded it was from the pleasure she derived from his
company, and flattered himself that she would speedily send away
her slaves, and remain with him alone. She guessed his thoughts,
and amusing herself to flatter him in this mistake, addressed him
in the most pleasant language, and presented him the best of
every thing with her own hand. The entertainment being finished,
they rose from the table; ten slaves took musical instruments,
and began to play and sing, and others to dance. My brother, to
please them, danced likewise, and the lady danced with them.
After they had danced some time, they sat down to take breath,
and the young lady calling for a glass of wine, looked upon my
brother with a smiling countenance, to signify that she was going
to drink his health. He rose and stood while she drank. When she
had done instead of giving back the glass, she ordered it to be
filled, and presented it to my brother, that he might pledge her.
My brother took the glass from the young lady's hand, which he
kissed at the same time and stood and drank to her, in return for
the favour she had done him. The lady then made him sit down by
her, and began to caress him. She put her hand behind his head,
and gave him some tips from time to time with her fingers:
ravished with these favours, he thought himself the happiest man
in the world, and felt disposed to kiss the charming lady, but
durst not take that liberty before so many slaves, who had their
eyes upon him, and laughed at their lady's wanton tricks. The
young lady continued to tip him with her fingers, but at last
gave him such a sound box on the ear, that he grew angry; the
colour came into his face, and he rose up to remove to a greater
distance from such a rude playfellow. Then the old woman, who
brought him thither, gave him a look, to let him know that he was
in the wrong, and that he had forgotten her advice, to be very
complaisant. He owned his fault, and to make amends, went near
the young lady again, pretending that he did not remove out of
any ill-humour. She drew him by the arm, made him sit down by
her, and gave him a thousand malicious squeezes. Her slaves took
their part in the diversion; one gave poor Backbarah several
fillips on the nose with all her might; another pulled him by the
ears, as if she would have pulled them off; and others boxed him
in a manner that might have made it appear they were not in jest.
My brother bore all this with admirable patience, affecting a gay
air, and looking at the old woman, said to her with a forced
smile, "You told me, indeed, that I should find the lady
perfectly kind, pleasant, and charming; I am mightily obliged to
you!" "All this is nothing," replied the old woman; "let her go
on, you will see other things by and by." Then the young lady
said to him, "Brother, you are a brave man; I am glad to find you
are so good-humoured and complaisant to bear with my little
caprices, and that your humour is so conformable to mine."
"Madam," replied Backbarah, who was charmed with this address, "l
am no more at my own disposal, I am wholly yours, you may do with
me as you please." "How you oblige me," returned the lady, "by
such submission! I am well pleased with you, and would have you
be so with me: bring him perfume, and rose-water." Upon this, two
slaves went out and returned speedily, one with a silver casket,
filled with the best of aloes wood, with which she perfumed him;
and the other with rose-water, which she sprinkled on his face
and hands. My brother was quite enraptured with this handsome
treatment. After this ceremony, the young lady commanded the
slaves, who had already played on their instruments and sung, to
renew their concerts. They obeyed, and while they were thus
employed, the lady called another slave, and ordered her to take
my brother with her, and do what she knew, and bring him back to
her again. Backbarah, who heard this order, got up quickly, and
going to the old woman, who also rose to accompany him and the
slave, prayed her to inform him what they were to do with him.
"My mistress is only curious," replied the old woman softly; "she
has a mind to see how you look in a woman's dress, and this
slave, who is desired to take you with her, has orders to paint
your eyebrows, to cut off your whiskers, and to dress you like a
woman." "You may paint my eyebrows as much as you please," said
my brother, "I consent to that, because I can wash it off again;
but to shave me, you know I must not permit. How can I appear
abroad again without moustaches?" "Beware of refusing what is
asked of you," returned the old woman, you will spoil your
fortune, which is now in as favourable a train as heart can wish.
The lady loves you, and has a mind to make you happy; and will
you, for a nasty whisker, renounce the most delicious favours
that man can obtain?" Backbarah listened to the old woman, and
without saying a word went to a chamber with the slave, where
they painted his eyebrows with red, cut off his whiskers, and
were going to do the like with his beard.. My brother's patience
then began to fail: "Oh!" said he, "I will never part with my
beard." The slave told him, that it was to no purpose to have
parted with his whiskers, if he would not also part with his
beard, which could never comport with "woman's dress; and she
wondered that a man, who was upon the point of being loved by the
finest lady in Bagdad, should be concerned about his beard. The
old woman threatened him with the loss of the young lady's
favour; so that at last he allowed them to do what they would.
When he was dressed in female attire, they brought him before the
young lady, who laughed so heartily when she saw him, that she
fell backward on the sofa. The slaves laughed and clapped their
hands, so that my brother was quite out of countenance. The young
lady got up, and still laughing, said to him, "After so much
complaisance, I should be very much to blame not to love you with
all my heart: but there is one thing more you must do for me, and
that is, to dance as we do." He obeyed, and the young lady and
her slaves danced with him, laughing as if they had been mad.
After they had danced some time, they all fell upon the poor
wretch, and did so box and kick him, that he fell down like one
out of his senses. The old woman helped him up again: and that he
might not have time to think of his ill-treatment, bade him take
courage, and whispered in his ear, that all his sufferings were
at an end, and that he was just about to receive his reward.
The old woman continued her discourse to Backbarah thus: "You
have only one thing more to do, and that is but a small one. You
must know that my mistress has a custom, when she has drunk a
little, as you see she has done to-day, to let no one that she
loves come near her, except they be stripped to their shirt; and
when they have done so, she takes a little advantage of them and
begins running before them through the gallery, and from chamber
to chamber, till they catch her. This is one more of her humours:
what advantage soever she takes of you, considering your
nimbleness, you will soon overtake her; strip yourself then to
your shirt, undress yourself without ceremony."
My silly brother had done too much to hesitate at anything now.
He undressed himself; and in the mean time the young lady was
stripped to her shift and drawers, that she might run the more
nimbly. When they were ready, the young lady took the advantage
of twenty paces, and then began to run with surprising swiftness:
my brother followed as fast as he could, the slaves in the mean
time laughing heartily and clapping their hands. The young lady,
instead of losing ground, gained upon my brother: she made him
run two or three times round the gallery, and then entering a
long dark passage, made her escape. Backbarah, who still
followed, having lost sight of her in the passage, was obliged to
slacken his pace, because of the darkness of the place: at last
perceiving a light, he ran towards it, and went out at a door,
which was immediately shut after him. You may imagine how he was
surprised to find himself in a street inhabited by curriers, and
they were no less surprised to see him in his shirt, his eyes
painted red, and without beard or moustaches: they began to clap
their hands and shout at him, and some of them ran after him and
lashed his back with leather straps. They then took him and set
him upon an ass which they met by chance, and carried him through
the town exposed to the laughter of the people.
To complete his misfortune, as he went by the judge's house, he
would needs know the cause of the tumult. The curriers told him,
that they saw him come in that condition from the gate of the
apartments of the grand vizier's women, which opened into their
street; upon which the judge ordered unfortunate Backbarah to
have a hundred blows with a cane on the soles of his feet, and
sent him out of the town with orders never to return.
"Thus, commander of the faithful," said I to the caliph, "I have
given an account of the adventure of my second brother, who did
not know that our greatest ladies divert themselves sometimes by
putting such tricks upon young people, who are so foolish as to
be caught in the snare."
The barber, without breaking off, told the story of his third
brother in the following manner.
The Story of the Barber's Third Brother.
Commander of the faithful, my third brother, whose name was
Backbac, was blind, and his evil destiny reduced him to beg from
door to door. He had been so long accustomed to walk through the
streets alone, that he wanted none to lead him: he had a custom
to knock at people's doors, and not to answer till they opened to
him. One day he knocked thus, and the master of the house, who
was alone, cried, "Who is there?" My brother made no answer, and
knocked a second time: the master of the house asked again and
again, "Who is there?" but to no purpose, no one answered; upon
which he came down, opened the door, and asked my brother what he
wanted? "Give me something for Heaven's sake," said Backbac. "You
seem to be blind," replied the master of the house. "Yes, to my
sorrow," answered my brother. "Give me your hand," resumed the
master of the house. My brother did so, thinking he was going to
give him alms; but he only took him by the hand to lead him up to
his chamber. Backbac thought he had been carrying him to dine
with him, as many other people had done. When they reached the
chamber, the man let go his hand, and sitting down, asked him
again what he wanted? "I have already told you," said Backbac,
"that I want something for God's sake." "Good blind man," replied
the master of the house, "all that I can do for you is to wish
that God may restore you your sight." "You might have told me
that at the door," replied my brother, "and not have given me the
trouble to come up stairs." "And why, fool," said the man of the
house, "do not you answer at first, when people ask you who is
there? Why do you give any body the trouble to come and open the
door when they speak to you?" "What will you do with me then?"
asked my brother. "I tell you again," said the man of the house,
"I have nothing to give you." "Help me down the stairs then, as
you brought me up." "The stairs are before you," said the man of
the house, "and you may go down by yourself if you will." My
brother attempted to descend, but missing a step about the middle
of the stairs, fell to the bottom and hurt his head and his back:
he got up again with much difficulty, and went out cursing the
master of the house. who laughed at his fall.
As my brother went out of the house, two blind men, his
companions, were going by, knew him by his voice, and asked him
what was the matter? He told them what had happened; and
afterwards said, "I have eaten nothing to-day; I conjure you to
go along with me to my house, that I may take some of the money
that we three have in common to buy me something for supper." The
two blind men agreed, and they went home with him.
You must know that the master of the house where my brother was
so ill used was a robber, and of a cunning and malicious
disposition. He overheard from his window what Backbac had said
to his companions, and came down and followed them to my
brother's house. The blind men being seated, Backbac said to
them, "Brothers, we must shut the door, and take care there be no
stranger with us." At this the robber was much perplexed, but
perceiving a rope hanging down from a beam, he caught hold of it,
and hung by it, while the blind men shut the door, and felt about
the room with their sticks. When they had done, and had sat down
again in their places, the robber left his rope, and seated
himself softly by my brother, who thinking himself alone with his
blind comrades, said to them, "Brothers, since you have trusted
me with the money, which we have been a long time gathering, I
will show you that I am not unworthy of the confidence you repose
in me. The last time we reckoned, you know we had ten thousand
dirhems, and that we put them into ten bags; I will shew you that
I have not touched one of them:" having so said, he put his hand
among some old clothes, and taking out the bags one after
another, gave them to his comrades, saying, "There they are; you
may judge by their weight that they are whole, or you may tell
them if you please." His comrades answered there was no need,
they did not mistrust him; so he opened one of the bags, and took
out ten dirhems, and each of the other blind men did the like.
My brother put the bags into their place again: after which, one
of the blind men said to him, "There is no need to lay out
anything for supper, for I have collected as much victuals from
good people as will serve us all." At the same time he took out
of his bag bread and cheese, and some fruit, and putting all upon
the table, they began to eat, The robber, who sat at my brother's
right hand, picked out the best, and eat with them; but whatever
care he took to make no noise, Backbac heard his chaps going, and
cried out immediately, "We are undone, there is a stranger among
us:" having so said, he stretched out his hand, and caught hold
of the robber by the arm, cried out "Thieves!" fell upon him, and
struck him. The other blind men fell upon him in like manner; the
robber defended himself as well as he could, and being young and
vigorous, besides having the advantage of his eyes, gave furious
blows, sometimes to one, sometimes to another, and cried out
"Thieves!" louder than they did. The neighbours came running at
the noise, broke open the door, and had much ado to separate the
combatants; but having at last succeeded, they asked the cause of
their quarrel. My brother, who still had hold of the robber,
cried out, "Gentlemen, this man I have hold of is a thief, and
stole in with us on purpose to rob us of the little money we
have." The thief, who shut his eyes as soon as the neighbours
came, feigned himself blind, and exclaimed, "Gentlemen, he is a
liar. I swear to you by heaven, and by the life of the caliph,
that I am their companion, and they refuse to give me my just
share. They have all three fallen upon me, and I demand justice."
The neighbours would not interfere in their quarrel, but carried
them all before the judge.
When they came before the magistrate, the robber, without staying
to be examined, cried out, still feigning himself blind, "Sir,
since you are deputed to administer justice by the caliph, whom
God prosper, I declare to you that we are equally criminal, my
three comrades and I; but we have all engaged, upon oath, to
confess nothing except we be bastinadoed; so that if you would
know our crime, you need only order us to be bastinadoed, and
begin with me." My brother would have spoken, but was not allowed
to do so: and the robber was put under the bastinado.
The robber being under the bastinado, had the courage to bear
twenty or thirty blows; when, pretended to be overcome with pain,
he first opened one eve, and then the other, and crying out for
mercy, begged the judge would put a stop to the blows. The judge
perceiving that he looked upon him with his eyes open, was much
surprised, and said to him, "Rogue, what is the meaning of this
miracle?" "Sir," replied the robber, "I will discover to you an
important secret, if you will pardon me, and give me, as a pledge
that you will keep your word, the seal-ring which you have on
your finger." The judge consented, gave him his ring, and
promised him pardon. "Under this promise," continued the robber,
"I must confess to you sir, that I and my three comrades do all
of us see very well. We feigned ourselves to be blind, that we
might freely enter people's houses, and women's apartments, where
we abuse their weakness. I must farther confess to you, that by
this trick we have gained together ten thousand dirhems. This day
I demanded of my partners two thousand five hundred that belonged
to my share, but they refused because I told them I would leave
them; and they were afraid I should accuse them. Upon my pressing
still to have my share, they fell upon me; for which I appeal to
those people who brought us before you. I expect from your
justice, sir, that you will make them deliver me the two thousand
five hundred dirhems which is my due; and if you have a mind that
my comrades should confess the truth, you must order them three
times as many blows as I have had, and you will find they will
open their eyes as well as I have done."
My brother and the other two blind men would have cleared
themselves of this horrid charge, but the judge would not hear
them: "Villains," said he, "do you feign yourselves blind then,
and, under that pretext of moving their compassion, cheat people,
and commit such crimes?" "He is an impostor," cried my brother,
"and we take God to witness that none of us can see."
All that my brother could say was in vain, his comrades and he
received each of them two hundred blows. The judge expected them
to open their eyes, and ascribed to their obstinacy what really
they could not do. All the while the robber said to the blind
men, "Poor fools that you are, open your eyes, and do not suffer
yourselves to be beaten to death." Then addressing himself to the
judge, said, "I perceive, sir, that they will be maliciously
obstinate to the last, and will never open their eyes. They wish
certainly to avoid the shame of reading their own condemnation in
the face of every one that looks upon them; it were better, if
you think fit, to pardon them, and to send some person along with
me for the ten thousand dirhems they have hidden."
The judge consented to give the robber two thousand five hundred
dirhems, and kept the rest himself; and as for my brother and his
two companions, he thought he shewed them pity by sentencing them
only to be banished. As soon as I heard what had befallen my
brother, I went to him; he told me his misfortune, and I brought
him back secretly to the town. I could easily have justified him
to the judge, and have had the robber punished as he deserved,
but durst not make the attempt, for fear of bringing myself into
danger of assassination. Thus I finished the sad adventure of my
honest blind brother. The caliph laughed at it, as much as at
those he had heard before, and ordered again that something
should be given me; but without staying for it, I began the story
of my fourth brother.
The Story of the Barber's Fourth Brother.
Alcouz was the name of the fourth brother who lost one of his
eyes, upon an occasion that I shall have the honour to relate to
your majesty. He was a butcher by profession, and had a
particular way of teaching rams to fight, by which he gained the
acquaintance and friendship of the chief lords of the country,
who loved that sport, and for that end kept rams at their houses.
He had besides a very good trade, and had his shop always full of
the best meat, because he spared no cost for the prime of every
sort. One day when he was in his shop, an old man with a long
white beard came and bought six pounds of meat of him, gave him
money for it, and went his way. My brother thought the money so
pure and well coined, that he put it apart by itself: the same
old man came every day for five months together, bought a like
quantity of meat, and paid for it in the same kind of money,
which my brother continued to lay apart.
At the end of five months, Alcouz having a mind to buy a lot of
sheep, and to pay for them in this money, opened his chest; but
instead of finding his money, was extremely surprised to see
nothing in the place where he had laid it, but a parcel of leaves
clipped round. He beat his head, and cried out aloud, which
presently brought the neighbours about him, who were as much
surprised as he, when he told them the story. "O!" cried my
brother, weeping, "that this treacherous old fellow would come
now with his hypocritical looks!" He had scarcely spoken, when he
saw him at a distance; he ran to him, and laid hands on him;
"Moosulmauns," cried he, as loud as he could, "help! hear what a
cheat this wicked fellow has put upon me," and at the same time
told a great crowd of people, who came about him, what he had
formerly told his neighbours. When he had done, the old man said
to him very gravely and calmly, "You had better let me go, and by
that means make amends for the affront you have put upon me
before so many people, for fear I should put a greater affront
upon you, which I should be sorry to do." "How," said my brother,
"what have you to say against me? I am an honest man in my
business, and fear not you, nor any body." "You would have me
speak out then," resumed the old man in the same tone; and
turning to the crowd, said to them, "Know, good people, that this
fellow, instead of selling mutton as he ought to do, sells human
flesh." "You are a cheat," said my brother. "No, no," continued
the old man; "good people, this very minute while I am speaking
to him, there is a man with his throat cut hung up in the shop
like a sheep; do any of you go thither, and see if what I say be
not true."
Just before my brother had opened his chest he had killed a
sheep, dressed it, and exposed it in the shop, according to
custom: he protested that what the old man said was false; but
notwithstanding all his protestations, the credulous mob,
prejudiced against a man accused of such a heinous crime, would
go to see whether the charge were true. They obliged my brother
to quit the old man, laid hold of him, and ran like madmen into
his shop, where they saw, to all appearance, a man hung up with
his throat cut, as the old man had told them; for he was a
magician, and deceived the eyes of all people, as he did my
brother, when he made him take leaves instead of money. At this
sight, one of those who held Alcouz gave him a violent blow with
his fist, and said to him, "Thou wicked villain, dost thou make
us eat man's flesh instead of mutton?" And at the same time the
old man gave him another blow, which beat out one of his eyes.
Every body that could get near him struck him; and not content
with that, they carried him before a judge, with the pretended
carcase of the man, to be evidence against him." "Sir," said the
old magician to the judge, "we have brought you a man, who is so
barbarous as to murder people, and to sell their flesh instead of
mutton. The public expects that you will punish him in an
exemplary manner." The judge heard my brother with patience, but
would believe nothing of the story of the money changed into
leaves, called my brother a cheat, told him he would believe his
own eyes, and ordered him to receive five hundred blows. He
afterwards made him tell him where his money was, took it all
from him, and banished him for ever, after having made him ride
three days through the city upon a camel, exposed to the insults
of the people.
I was not at Bagdad when this tragical adventure befell my fourth
brother. He retired into a remote place, where he lay concealed
till he was cured of the blows with which his back was terribly
mangled. When he was able to walk, he went by night to a certain
town where nobody knew him; and there he took a lodging, from
whence he seldom moved; but being weary of this confined life, he
went to walk in one of the suburbs, where suddenly he heard a
noise of horsemen coming behind him. He was then by chance near
the gate of a house, and fearing, after what had befallen him,
that these horsemen were pursuing him, he opened the gate in
order to hide himself, and after he had shut it, entered a court,
where immediately two servants came and collared him, saying,
"Heaven be praised, that you have come of your own accord to
surrender yourself; you have alarmed us so much these three last
nights, that we could not sleep; nor would you have spared our
lives, if we had not prevented your design." You may well imagine
my brother was much surprised. "Good people," said he, "I know
not what you mean; you certainly take me for somebody else." "No,
no," replied they, "we know that you and your comrades are
robbers: you were not contented to rob our master of all that he
had, and to reduce him to beggary, but you conspired to take his
life. Let us see if you have not a knife about you, which you had
in your hand when you pursued us last night." Having said thus,
they searched him, and found he had a knife. "Ho! ho!" cried
they, laying hold of him, "and dare you say that you are not a
robber?" "Why," said my brother, "cannot a man carry a knife
about him without being a robber? If you will hearken to my
story, instead of having so bad an opinion of me, you will be
touched with compassion at my misfortunes." But far from
attending to him, they fell upon him, trod upon him, took away
his clothes, and tore his shirt. Then seeing the scars on his
back, "O dog," said they, redoubling their blows, "would you have
us believe you are an honest man, when your back shews us the
contrary?" "Alas!" said my brother, "my crimes must be very
great, since, after having been abused already so unjustly, I am
thus treated a second time without being more culpable!"
The two servants, no way moved with his complaint, carried him
before the judge, who asked him how he durst presume to go into
their house, and pursue them with a drawn knife? "Sir," replied
the unfortunate Alcouz, "I am the most innocent man in the world,
and am undone if you will not be pleased to hear me patiently: no
one deserves more compassion." "Sir," exclaimed one of the
domestics, "will you listen to a robber, who enters people's
houses to plunder and murder them? If you will not believe us,
only look upon his back;" and while he said so he uncovered my
brother's back, and shewed it to the judge, who, without any
other information, commanded his officers immediately to give him
a hundred lashes over the shoulders, and made him afterwards be
carried through the town on a camel, with one crying before him,
"Thus are men punished who enter people's houses by force." After
having treated him thus, they banished him the town, and forbad
him ever to return. Some people, who met him after the second
misfortune, brought me word where he was; I went, brought him to
Bagdad privately, and gave him all the assistance I could. The
caliph did not laugh so much at this story as at the other. He
was pleased to pity the unfortunate Alcouz, and ordered something
to be given me. But without giving his servants time to obey his
orders, I continued my discourse, and said to him: "My sovereign
lord and master, you see that I do not talk much; and since your
majesty has been pleased to do me the favour to listen to me so
far, I beg you would likewise hear the adventures of my two other
brothers; I hope they will be as diverting as those of the
former. You may make a complete history of them, that will not be
unworthy of your library: I shall do myself the honour then to
acquaint you, that the fifth brother was called Alnaschar."
The Story of the Barber's Fifth Brother.
Alnaschar, as long as our father lived, was very lazy; instead of
working he used to beg in the evening, and live upon what he got.
Our father died at a very old age, and left among us seven
hundred dirhems: we divided equally, so that each of us had a
hundred for his share. Alnaschar, who had never before possessed
so much money, was much perplexed to know what he should do with
it. He consulted a long time with himself, and at last resolved
to lay it out in glass-ware which he bought of a wholesale
dealer. He put all in an open basket, and sat with it before him,
and his back against a wall, in a place where he might sell it.
In this posture, with his eyes fixed on his basket, he began to
meditate; during which he spoke as follows: "This basket cost me
a hundred dirhems, which is all I have in the world. I shall make
two hundred of them by retailing my glass, and of these two
hundred, which I will again lay out in glass-ware, I shall make
four hundred; and going on thus, I shall at last make four
thousand dirhems; of four thousand I shall easily make eight
thousand, and when I come to ten thousand, I will leave off
selling glass and turn jeweller; I will trade in diamonds,
pearls, and all sorts of precious stones: then when I am as rich
as I can wish, I will buy a fine mansion, a great estate, slaves,
eunuchs, and horses. I will keep a good house, and make a great
figure in the world; I will send for all the musicians and
dancers of both sexes in town. Nor will I stop here, for, I will,
by the favour of Heaven, go on till I get one hundred thousand
dirhems, and when I have amassed so much, I will send to demand
the grand vizier's daughter in marriage; and represent to that
minister, that I have heard much of the wonderful beauty,
understanding, wit, and all the other qualities of his daughter;
in a word, that I will give him a thousand pieces of gold the
first night after we are married; and if the vizier be so uncivil
as to refuse his daughter, which cannot be supposed, I will go
and carry her off before his face, and take her to my house
whether he will or no. As soon as I have married the grand
vizier's daughter, I will buy her ten young black eunuchs, the
handsomest that can be had; I will clothe my self like a prince,
and mounted upon a fine horse, with a saddle of fine gold, with
housings of cloth of gold, finely embroidered with diamonds and
pearls, I will ride through the city, attended by slaves before
and behind. I will go to the vizier's palace in view of all the
people great and small, who will show me the most profound
respect. When I alight at the foot of the vizier's staircase, I
will ascend through my own people, ranged in files on the right
and left; and the grand vizier, receiving me as his son-in-law,
shall give me the right hand and set me above him, to do me the
more honour. If this comes to pass, as I hope it will, two of my
people shall each of them have a purse with a thousand pieces of
gold, which they shall carry with them. I will take one, and
presenting it to the grand vizier, tell him, There is the
thousand pieces of gold that I promised the first night of
marriage:' and I will offer him the other and say to him, There
is as much more, to shew you that I am a man of my word, and even
better than my promise.' After such an action as this, all the
world will talk of my generosity. I will return to my own house
in the same pomp. My wife will send some officer to compliment
me, on account of my visit to the vizier, her father: I will
honour the officer with a fine robe, and send him back with a
rich present. If she send me a present, I will not accept it, but
dismiss the bearer. I will not suffer her to go out of her
apartment on any account whatever, without giving me notice: and
when I have a mind to come to her apartment, it shall be in such
a manner as to make her respect me. In short, no house shall be
better ordered than mine. I will be always richly clad. When I
retire with my wife in the evening, I will sit on the upper seat,
I will affect a grave air, without turning my head to one side or
the other. I will speak little; and whilst my wife, beautiful as
the full moon, stands before me in all her charms, I will make as
if I did not see her. Her women about her will say to me, Our
dear lord and master, here is your spouse, your humble servant,
before you, ready to receive your caresses, but much mortified
that you do not vouchsafe to look upon her; she is wearied with
standing so long, bid her, at least, sit down.' I will make no
answer, which will increase their surprise and grief. They will
prostrate themselves at my feet; and after they have for a
considerable time entreated me to relent, I will at last lift up
my head, give her a careless look, and resume my former posture:
they will suppose that my wife is not handsomely enough dressed,
and will carry her to her closet to change her apparel. At the
same time I will get up and put on a more magnificent suit; they
will return and address me as before, but I will not so much as
look upon my wife, till they have prayed and entreated as long as
they did at first. Thus I will begin on the first day of
marriage, to teach her what she is to expect during the rest of
her life.
"After the ceremonies of the marriage, I will take from one of my
servants, who shall be about me, a purse of five hundred pieces
of gold, which I will give to the tire-women, that they may leave
me alone with my spouse: when they are gone, my wife shall go to
bed first; then I will lie down by her with my back towards her,
and will not say one wore to her all night. The next morning she
will certainly complain of my contempt and of my pride, to her
mother the grand vizier's wife, which will rejoice my heart. Her
mother will come to wait upon me,
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