The Book of Good Manners; a Guide to Polite Usage for All Social Functions

by Walter Cox Green · English · Gutenberg #5255 · 366,516 chars · public domain (US)

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Title: The Book of Good Manners; a Guide to Polite Usage for All Social Functions

Author: Walter Cox Green

Release date: March 1, 2004 [eBook #5255]
Most recently updated: December 28, 2020

Language: English

Other information and formats: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/5255

Credits: Produced by Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BOOK OF GOOD MANNERS; A GUIDE TO POLITE USAGE FOR ALL SOCIAL FUNCTIONS ***

Produced by Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team

THE BOOK OF GOOD MANNERS

A GUIDE TO POLITE USAGE
FOR ALL SOCIAL FUNCTIONS

W. C. GREEN

THE BOOK OF GOOD MANNERS is a complete and authentic authority
on every single phase of social usage as practiced in America. The author
has compiled the matter in dictionary form in order to give the reader the
desired information as briefly and clearly as possible, and with the least
possible effort in searching through the pages.

ACCEPTING OR DECLINING INVITATIONS. See INVITATIONS,
ACCEPTING OR DECLINING.

ACCIDENTS. See STREET ETIQUETTE--MEN--ACCIDENTS.

ADDRESS. The address of a person may be stamped
on the stationery.

If the address is stamped, it is not customary
to stamp also the crest or monogram.

ADDRESSING ENVELOPES.

MEN. A man should be addressed as Mr. James
J, Wilson, or James J. Wilson, Esq. Either
the Mr. or the Esq. may be used, but not
the two together.

The title belonging to a man should be
given. It is not customary to use Mr. or
Esq. when Jr. or Sr. is used.

WOMEN. A woman's name should always have
the Miss or Mrs.

A woman should never be given her husband's
official title, as Mrs. Judge Wilson.

If a woman has a title of her own, she
should be addressed as Dr. Minnie Wilson,
when the letter is a professional one. If
a social letter, this should be Miss Minnie
Wilson, or Mrs. Minnie Wilson.

ADDRESSING PERSONS. Young girls should be spoken
of as Minnie Wilson, and not as Miss Minnie,
but are personally addressed as Miss Minnie.
Only the greatest intimacy warrants a man
in addressing a young girl as Minnie.

Parents should introduce their daughter
as My daughter Minnie, but should speak
of them before servants as Miss Minnie.

A married woman should be spoken of as
Mrs. Agnes Wilson, and personally addressed
as Mrs. Wilson.

ADDRESSING AND SIGNING LETTERS. All answers to
invitations should be addressed to the party
issuing them.

Letters to a woman who is a comparative
stranger may begin My dear Mrs. Wilson,
and to a closer acquaintance Dear Mrs.
Wilson.

Letters to a man who is a comparative
stranger may begin My dear Mr. Wilson,
and to a closer acquaintance Dear Mr.
Wilson.

For forms of addressing persons with titles,
as Mayor, see under that title--as, Mayor,
Governor.

The letters may end, Sincerely yours, or
Very truly yours, or I remain yours with
kindest regards.

The signature of a man should be John J.
Wilson or J. Jones Wilson.

An unmarried woman should sign social
letters as Minnie Wilson, and a business letter
as Miss Minnie Wilson. A married woman
should sign a social letter as Agnes Wilson.
In signing a business letter, a married woman
may either sign her name Mrs. Agnes Wilson,
or, preferably,

Agnes Wilson
(Mrs. John Wilson)

AFTERNOON CALLS. These should be made between
three and half-past five, and if possible on
regular at home days.

In making an afternoon call a man should
wear the regulation afternoon dress.

DRESS--MEN. Afternoon dress consists of a
double-breasted frock coat of dark material,
and waistcoat, either single or double-
breasted, of same, or of some fancy material
of late design. The trousers should be of
light color, avoiding of course extremes in
patterns.

White or delicate color linen shirts should
be worn, patent leather shoes, silk hat and
undressed kid gloves of dark color.

Afternoon dress is worn at weddings, afternoon
teas, receptions, garden parties, luncheons,
church funerals, and at all afternoon
functions.

See also EVENING DRESS--MEN. MORNING
DRESS--MEN.

AFTERNOON RECEPTIONS. See AFTERNOON TEAS.
GIVEN BY BACHELORS, See BACHELORS' TEAS.

AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL). These are very successful
as a rule, due perhaps to their small expense
and few exactions, and are given with
many purposes: to introduce young women
into society, to allow a hostess to entertain a
number of her friends, to honor some woman
of note, etc.

A formal afternoon tea is one for which
cards have been issued, naming set date.

Awnings and carpet should be provided
from curb to house. A man should be stationed
at the curb to open carriage doors and
call them when the guests leave, and another
African Teas man should be in attendance at the
front door to open it the moment a guest appears
at the top step and to direct him to the dressing-room.

A policeman should be detailed for the occasion
to keep back the onlookers, and should
receive a small fee for his services.

At the door of the drawing-room a man
should ask the name of each guest, which he
announces as the latter enters. The hostess
and those receiving with her should be just
within the door to receive the guests.

CARDS. Each guest should leave a card in the
tray in the hall.

A woman may leave the cards of the men
of her family who have been unable to attend.

Cards should be sent by mail or messenger
by those invited but unable to be present, and
should be timed so that they reach the house
during the function.

A husband and wife each send a card when
the invitation is issued in the name of the
hostess only, and two cards each when issued
in the name of hostess and her daughter. If
issued in the name of both husband and
wife, a husband should send two and his wife
should send one card.

DAUGHTERS. The daughters who have passed
the debutante age usually stand for an hour
beside their mother to receive the guests,
and afterward mingle with the guests to help
to make the function a success.

DEBUTANTE. When a tea is given in honor of
a debutante, she stands beside the hostess
(usually her mother), and each guest is introduced
to her. Flowers should be liberally
provided, and friends may contribute on such
an occasion.

The host and the men all wear the regulation
afternoon dress.

Women wear costumes appropriate to the
afternoon, more elegant in proportion to the
elaborateness of the function.

Guests may suit their convenience in
arriving, provided they do not come at the
opening hour nor at the very end.

After leaving their wraps in the dressing-
rooms, guests enter the drawing-room, leaving
their cards in the tray in the hall, and
then giving their names to the man at the
door, who announces them.

On entering the room, the women precede
the men.

After greeting the hostess and being introduced
to those receiving with her, the guests
move into the middle of the room.

Guests go the dining-room when they
wish without greeting the hostess.

It is not expected that guests at a large reception
will stay all the afternoon. Twenty
minutes is long enough. It is not necessary
to bid the hostess good-bye when leaving.
If guests take leave of host and hostess,
they should shake hands.

In the dining-room the men, assisted by
the waiters, help the women.

When the reception is a small formal one,
the guests may stay a longer time, and usually
it is better to take leave of the hostess,
unless she is much occupied at the time.

HOST. Except when a newly married couple
give a house-warming or a reception, the host
does not stand beside his wife, but spends
the time in making introductions, and doing
his best to make the function a success.

When some married woman or woman
guest of honor assists his wife to receive, he
should at the proper moment escort her to
the dining-room.

HOSTESS. The hostess and those receiving with
her should be just within the door, ready to
receive each guest as announced.

The hostess shakes hands with each guest,
and introduces them to those receiving with
her.

Friends assisting a hostess to entertain are
generally permitted to invite a few of their
own friends, and their cards are sent with
those of the hostess. A pretty feature is the
presence of a number of young women here
and there in the rooms to assist in receiving
the guests. Music is always appropriate.

HOURS. The hours are from 4 to 7 P.M.

INTRODUCTIONS. The hostess should introduce
her guests to those receiving with her.
See also INTRODUCTION.

INVITATIONS. Engraved invitations are sent a
week or ten days in advance, by mail or messenger.

They are usually issued in the name of the
hostess only, though they may be issued in
the name of both husband and wife.

In place of the visiting-card, an "At
Home" card may be used, or cards specially
engraved for the purpose.

When cards are sent to a married couple,
the cards are addressed to both husband and
wife.

Invitations are sent in two envelopes-the
inner one unsealed and bearing the name of
the guest, and the outer one sealed, with, the
street address.

INVITATIONS, ANSWERING. It is not necessary
to accept or decline these invitations, as the
guest accepts by his presence. If unable to
do so, he should send by mail or messenger
a visiting-card, to reach the hostess during
the ceremony.

When the invitation has been issued in the
name of the hostess only, a husband and wife
each send a card, and if in the name of hostess
and her daughter, each should send two
cards. If the invitation has been issued in
the name of the husband and wife, the wife
should send one and a husband two cards.

If the woman in the family is the only one
present at the function, she can leave cards
for the rest of the family.

MEN. Both the host and men wear the regulation
afternoon dress, consisting of the long
frock coat with single or double-breasted
waistcoat to match, or of some fancy cloth,
and gray trousers. White linen, a light tie,
a silk hat, gray gloves, and patent leather
shoes complete the costume.

The overcoat, hat, and cane are left in
the dressing-room, and the guest removes one
or both gloves as he pleases--remembering
that he must offer his ungloved right hand
to the hostess.

SHAKING HANDS. Guests on being presented to
the hostess should shake hands. If guest
takes leave of hostess, they should shake
hands. If the hostess is surrounded by
guests, a pleasant nod of farewell is admissible.

WOMEN. Women leave cards of their male relatives
as well as their own, even though their
names may be announced upon entering.
Guests leave their cards in a receptacle provided
for the purpose, or give them to the
servant at the door.

Women wear a costume appropriate for
the afternoon, and keep their hats and
gloves on.

AFTERNOON TEAS (INFORMAL). An afternoon tea is a
simple entertainment. Refreshments are
generally served to the guests. An innovation
lately introduced has become quite popular
--namely, young women, invited for
the purpose, wait upon the guests, bringing
in one dainty at a time.

An afternoon tea is called a formal afternoon
tea when engraved cards have been
issued, naming set date.

CARDS. Guests should leave cards in the hall, or
hand them to the servant. Women may
leave the cards of the men of her family.
Those unable to attend should send card the
same afternoon by mail or messenger.

See also GROOM-DRESS.

EXPENSES. The best man is the guest of the
groom, and in matters of expense this should
be borne in mind.

REPORTERS. If such is the wish of the family
of the bride, the best man attends to the reporters,
and furnishes them with the names
of groom, bride, relatives, friends, description
of gowns, and other details deemed
suitable for publication.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The best man escorts
the maid of honor, and they are usually
seated at the bridal table.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The best man stands
with the married couple, and is introduced
to the guests.

WEDDING TRIP. He should arrange beforehand
all details of the trip-as to tickets, parlor-car,
flowers, baggage, etc. He alone knows the
point of destination, and is in honor bound
not to betray it, save in case of emergencies.
He should see that the married couple
leave the house without any trouble, and if
the station is near, he should go in a separate
carriage (provided by the groom) to personally
attend to all details. He is the last
one to see the married couple, and should return
to the house to give their last message
to the parents.

BEST WISHES TO BRIDE. One should give best wishes
to the bride and congratulations to the
groom.

BICYCLING. A man bicycling with a woman should
extend to her all the courtesies practised
when riding or driving with her, such as
allowing her to set the pace, taking the lead
on unfamiliar roads and in dangerous
places, riding on the side nearest obstacles,
etc.

MEN--DRESS. A man should wear the regulation
suit coat, waistcoat, and knickerbockers
of gray or brown tweed, avoiding all
eccentricities of personal taste.

BIRTH (Announcement). If wishing to send congratulations
after a birth, cards should be left in
person or sent by a messenger. Cut flowers
may be sent with the card.

BISHOP OF THE ANGLICAN CHURCH--HOW ADDRESSED.
An official letter begins: My Lord, and ends:
I have the honor to remain your Lordship's
most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My Dear Lord
Bishop, and ends: I have the honor to remain,
my Dear Lord Bishop, faithfully yours.

The address on the envelope: To the Right
Rev. The Lord Bishop of Kent.

BISHOP (PROTESTANT)-HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: Right Reverend and Dear Sir,
and ends: I have the honor to remain your
obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Bishop Wilson,
and ends: I remain sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Right Reverend John J. Wilson, Bishop of,
Montana.

BISHOP (ROMAN CATHOLIC)--HOW ADDRESSED. An
official or social letter begins. Right Reverend
and Dear Sir, and ends: I have the honor
to remain your humble servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Right Reverend John J. Wilson, Bishop of
Ohio.

BONNETS (THEATRE). A woman of any consideration
should either wear no bonnet or remove it
when the curtain rises.

It would be in place for a man or a woman
to politely request a woman whose bonnet
obstructs the view to remove it, and, after
it was done, to thank the woman for so
doing.

BOUQUETS (WEDDING). The bouquet carried by the
bride is furnished by the groom, who should
also provide bouquets for the bridesmaids.

BOWING

MEN, When leaving a woman at the door of
her house, he bows and retires as the door
is opened.

When seeing a woman to her carriage, he
should raise his hat on closing the door.

On a railroad a man removes his hat in a
parlor-car, but not in a day coach.

In street-cars a man should raise his hat
when giving his seat to a woman; also when
rendering a service to a woman in public, in
answering a question, or in apologizing to a
woman.

In elevators, when women are present,
the hat should be removed.

In hotel halls or corridors a man passing
a woman should raise his hat.

Men do not raise their hats to one another,
save out of deference to an elderly person, a
person of note, or a clergyman.

In driving, if impossible to raise the hat,
he should touch it with his whip.

The hat is gracefully lifted from the head,
brought to the level of the chest, and the
body inclined forward, and then replaced in
passing.

It is the woman's privilege to bow first if
it is a mere acquaintance. If, however, a
woman bows, and the man fails to recognize
her, he should bow in return.

A man may bow first to a very intimate
friend.

Meeting a woman to whom he has been
introduced at an entertainment, he should
wait until she bows first.

After bowing to a woman, the man may
join her, and with her permission may walk
a short distance with her.

He should not stand in the street and converse
with her any length of time. She may
excuse herself and pass on. He should not
feel affronted.

If he meets a woman he does not know
accompanied by a man he does know, both
men bow.

The man accompanying her should bow
to every man or woman to whom she bows.

WOMEN. A woman's bow should be dignified--
a faint smile and a gentle inclination of the
head.

Women bow first to men when meeting in
the street. A man may bow first if the
acquaintance is intimate.

When walking with a man, and they meet
another unknown to her, but known to her
escort, both men bow. If she meets a friend,
man or woman, unknown to her escort, he
bows.

Unless an introduction has taken place at
any function, no recognition is customary.
It is the woman's privilege, however, to decide
for herself whether she will recognize
the guest or not.

A man bowing and joining a woman on
the street must ask permission to do so.
She is at perfect liberty to gracefully decline.

If a man stops to talk on the street, she
may excuse herself and pass on. If she
continues the conversation and he stands
with his hat in his hand, she may request
him to replace it. Such conversations should
be brief.

BREAD should be broken into small pieces, buttered,
and transferred with the fingers to the mouth.
The bread should be placed on the small
plate provided for the purpose.

BREAKFASTS. Breakfasts are generally given from
ten to twelve in the morning. Very formal
breakfasts are held at twelve o'clock.

CALLS. A call need not be made after a simple
breakfast, but obligatory after a formal one.

DRESS. Street costumes are worn by men and
women.

GUESTS. Guests leave half an hour after the
breakfast.

HOURS. The hour is from 12 to 12.30.

INVITATIONS. Cards are engraved and sent a
week in advance for formal breakfasts, but
for informal breakfasts they may be written.
If given in honor of a special guest, the
name is engraved on the card--as, TO MEET
MR. WILSON.

MEN. Men are usually invited, and they are
often given for men. Men wear street costume.

Guests should leave half an hour after
breakfast. A call is not necessary after a
simple breakfast, but obligatory after a formal
one.

MEN LEAVING CARDS. After a breakfast a man
should leave a card for host and hostess,
whether the invitation was accepted or not.
Or it may be sent by mail or messenger, with
an apology for so doing.

WOMEN. Women wear street costume, including
gloves, the latter being taken off at table.
Women remove their coats and wraps, but
not bonnets.

Guests should leave half an hour after
breakfast. A call is not necessary after a
simple breakfast, but obligatory after a formal
one.

WEDDING. See WEDDING RECEPTIONS OR BREAKFASTS.

BREAKING DINNER ENGAGEMENTS. When it is absolutely
necessary to break an engagement made for
a dinner, a letter should be sent as soon as
possible to the hostess, either by special delivery
or messenger, giving the reason and
expressing regrets.

BRIDE. The bride selects the church and the clergyman,
and can, if she wishes, ask the latter
personally or by note to perform the ceremony.
She selects the music for the ceremony
and the organist, names the wedding
day, and selects the ushers and the bridesmaids.
Of the bridesmaids, she may select
one, some near friend, as the maid of honor,
to act for her, as the best man does for the
groom.

She further designates one of the ushers to
be master of ceremonies, and should instruct
him minutely as to the details she desires
carried out-how the wedding party shall enter
the church, proceed up the aisle, etc.

A few days before the wedding she gives a
dinner to the bridesmaids and maid of honor,
who take this opportunity to examine the
trousseau. The ushers, best man, and groom
may come after the dinner to attend the wedding
rehearsal. These rehearsals should be
gone through carefully, and if they can be
held at the church so much the better. Each
person should be instructed by note as to their
duties, as this prevents confusion.

CHURCH. On the wedding-day, after receiving
the bridesmaids and maid of honor at her
house, she goes to the church with her father
(or nearest male relative), and leans upon his
arm as they proceed up the aisle, following
the bridesmaids, and carrying her bridal bouquet
(or, if she wishes, a prayer-book).

Arriving at the chancel, she leaves her
father and steps forward to take the left arm
of the groom, who advances from the chancel
to meet her. They stand before the clergyman,
and, if they wish, may kneel, and upon
rising stand about a foot apart.

At the words of the ceremony, "Who giveth
this woman away?" or, "To be married to this
man?" her father advances and places her
right hand in that of the clergyman, who
places it in the groom's right hand. After
this her father retires to his seat in the pew
with his family.

When the plighting of the troth comes, the
groom receives the ring from the best man
and hands it to the bride, who gives it to the
clergyman. He returns it to the groom, who
then places it on the third finger of the bride's
left hand. When plighting the troth, the
bride gives her glove and bouquet to the maid
of honor, or, what is better, the finger of the
glove may be cut to allow the ring to be placed
on without the glove being removed.

The kiss at the altar is no longer in good
form.

At the end of the ceremony, after the clergyman
has congratulated the married couple,
the bride takes her husband's right arm and
they lead the procession to the vestibule, where
they receive the congratulations of near
friends. Here the maid of honor and bridesmaids
cloak and prepare the bride for the trip
home in the groom's carriage.

DRESS. The bride is veiled, and is dressed in
white-full dress, day or evening. Gloves
need not be worn in the church. The bridesmaids
provide their own outfit, unless the
bride asks them to dress in a style of her own
selecting. In this case, she supplies them
gowns, hats, gloves, and shoes, as she may
wish.

FAREWELL LUNCHEON. While a farewell luncheon
given to the bridesmaids by the bride
is not necessary, yet it is a pleasant way for a
woman to entertain her female friends the
last time in her father's house.

On this occasion it is a good plan for the
bride to give to the maid of honor and brides-maids
her souvenirs, which, of course, should
be alike, and of use at the wedding ceremony.

GIFTS. The bride may give to the groom a ring
as an engagement ring if she wishes. She
should make suitable gifts to the bridesmaids
as souvenirs of the occasion, and may also
present them with flowers. If she presents
boutonnieres to the best man and the ushers,
they should appear at her house before the
ceremony and have her place them in the
lapel of their coats.

She should acknowledge immediately the
receipt of all wedding gifts.

GLOVES. The bride need not wear gloves in the
church.

INVITATIONS. At a church wedding the bride
usually provides the bridesmaids with extra
invitations for their personal use.

KISS. Only the parents of the bride and her
most intimate relatives should kiss the bride.
It is now no longer good form for all to do so.

SEEING GROOM ON WEDDING-DAY. It is not
customary for the bride to see the groom on
the wedding-day till she meets him at the
altar.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The bride and groom
occupy the centre one of the small tables.

At all wedding breakfasts it is customary
for the guests to assemble in the drawing-room,
and then to enter the breakfast-room
together--the bride and groom leading the
way.

It is not usual to have the bridal cake at
a wedding breakfast, but if such is the case,
the bride makes the first cut, and the slices
are given first to those at the bridal table.

WEDDING RECEPTION. She should stand by her
husband's side to receive the best wishes of all
present. The guests are not announced, but
are introduced by the ushers to the bride if
not known to her.

The bride should not leave her place to
mingle with the guests until all have been
introduced to her.

BRIDE'S FAMILY. See FAMILY OF BRIDE.

BRIDE'S FATHER. See FATHER OF BRIDE.

BRIDE'S MOTHER. See MOTHER OF BRIDE.

BRIDEGROOM. See GROOM.

BRIDESMAIDS. The bridesmaids are selected by the
bride, and number six, eight, or twelve--
mostly eight. She usually gives them a
dinner a few days before the wedding, at
which she shows them the trousseau and discusses
the details of the wedding.

The ushers and the groom are invited to
come after the dinner, and then the rehearsal
takes place. The bridesmaids should be
present at this and all other rehearsals, and
if unable to be present at the wedding should
give the bride ample notice, that a substitute
may be secured.

CALLS. They call upon the mother of the bride
within a week or ten days after the ceremony,
and upon the bride, in her own home, after
her return from her wedding trip.

CARRIAGES. A carriage provided by the family
of the bride calls for the bridesmaid on the
wedding-day, and takes her to the bride's
house. Her carriage follows the bride's to the
church, and, after the ceremony, takes her to
the wedding breakfast or reception.

CHURCH. They meet at the house of the bride,
and there take their carriages to the church.
While their carriages follow that of the bride,
they alight first and receive her in the vestibule.
They may carry bouquets supplied by
the bride's family or the groom.

In the procession up the aisle they follow
the ushers, walking two by two, and as the
ushers approach the altar they divide--one-half
to the right and one-half to the left. The
bridesmaids do likewise, leaving space for
the bridal party to pass.

In the procession down the aisle they follow
the best man and maid of honor to the
vestibule, where, after giving their best wishes
to the bride, and congratulations to the
groom, they return to the bride's home to
assist in entertaining the guests at the reception
or breakfast.

DANCING. At the wedding breakfast or reception
dancing is sometimes indulged in.

DINNER TO MARRIED COUPLE. The bridesmaids
usually give a dinner to the married couple
on the latter's return from their wedding trip.

DRESS. They usually follow the wishes of the
bride in the matter of dress. Should she
desire any particular style of dress, entailing
considerable expense, on account of novelty
or oddity, she usually presents them the outfit,
which it is permissible for them to accept.

If the bride has no particular wish, they
decide the matter among themselves, always
bearing in mind that their style of dress and
material must be subordinated to that of the
bride, and that there could be no greater exhibition
of lack of refinement and good taste
than for any bridesmaid to make herself in
any way more attractive than the bride.

GIFTS. It is customary for them to send a wedding
gift to the bride.

They usually receive a pretty souvenir
from the bride and a bouquet from the
groom.

INVITATIONS. At a large church wedding several
invitations are usually given to the
bridesmaids for their own personal use.

REHEARSALS. They should be present at all
rehearsals.

WEDDING BREAKFASTS. They pair off with the
ushers, and are usually seated at a table by
themselves.

WEDDING RECEPTIONS. They stand beside the
married couple, and are introduced to the
guests.

BROTHER AT DEBUT. A brother, when his sister's
debut takes the form of a supper or dinner,
should take his sister (the debutante) into
dinner or supper.

BUTLER--TIPS. It is customary for a man leaving a
house-party where he has been a guest to
tip the butler who acted as a valet.

CABINET ( U. S,), MEMBER OF--HOW ADDRESSED. An
official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have,
sir, the honor to remain your most obedient
servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson,
and ends: I have the honor to remain
most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Hon. John
J. Wilson, Secretary of State.

CAKE. is broken into pieces, the size of a mouthful,
and then eaten with fingers or fork.

CALLS. Unless close intimacy exists, calls should
only be made on the specified days.

ASKING MEN TO CALL ON WOMEN. A debutante
should leave this matter to her mother
or chaperone.

A young woman, until she has had some
experience in society, should be very careful
in inviting men to call.

She should not invite a man to call whom
she has met for the first time. No man
should be invited to call until she is assured
of his social standing and character.

In some parts of the country men first ask
permission to call, and in other parts women
first ask men to call.

ASKING WOMEN TO CALL ON WOMEN. It is
generally the custom for the married or elder
woman to ask the unmarried or younger
woman to call.

BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS
--CALLS.

BREAKFAST. See BREAKFASTS--CALLS.

BEST MAN. See BEST MAN--CALLS

BRIDESMAIDS. See BRIDESMAIDS--CALLS.

CHAPERONES. See CHAPERONES--MEN CALLING.

BUSINESS. A business man may call in street
dress upon a woman before six o'clock.

Social visits may be made in the same
manner.

DAYS AT HOME. Calls should only be made on
the regular "At Home" days, and the
hostess should always be present on that day.
Very intimate friends may set aside this rule.

DEBUTANTE. See DEBUTANTE--CALLS.

DRESS. When making an afternoon call, a man
would wear afternoon dress, and evening
dress in making an evening call.

HIGH TEA. See HIGH TEA--CALLS.

HOURS. When no special day for receiving is
indicated, calls may be made at any proper
hour, according to the custom of the locality.
Men of leisure may call at the fashionable
hours from two till five in the afternoon, while
business and professional men may call between
eight and nine in the evening, as their
obligations prevent them from observing the
fashionable hours.

LENGTH. A formal call may last from fifteen to
thirty minutes. Old friends may stay longer.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEON--CALLS.

MEN. AFTER ENTERTAINMENTS. After an entertainment
a man should call in person on
host and hostess, whether the invitation was
accepted or not. If a card is sent or mailed,
it should be accompanied with an apology.

To call on an acquaintance in an opera
box does not relieve one of the duty of making
a formal call in return for social favors.

When calling on the hostess but not on
the host, a man should leave a card for him.
If the hostess be out, he should leave two
cards.

Married men can return their social obligations
to women by personal calls, or the
women of the family can leave the men's
cards with their own.

A call should be made the day following a
luncheon or a breakfast; the same after a
dinner, or at least within a week. A call
should be made within a week after a ball.

After a theatre party given by a man, he
should call within three days on the woman
he escorted, or leave his card, and should
call within a week on the remainder of his
guests.

MEN CALLING ON MEN. At the beginning of
the season it is usual to leave a card for each
member of a family called on--one card for
husband, wife, "misses," and guest, or rest
of the family. Sometimes two cards answer
the purpose.

They may be sent by mail or messenger.

MEN CALLING ON WOMEN. A man should call
only on "At Home" days, especially when
making the first call, unless specially invited.
He should call at the hour appointed.

When no special day for receiving is indicated,
calls may be made at any proper hour,
according to the custom of the locality. Men
of leisure may call at the fashionable hours
--from two till five o'clock.

Business and professional men may call
between eight and nine o'clock, as their obligations
prevent them from observing the
fashionable hours.

A business man may call in street dress
before six o'clock, and the same dress in the
evening, if intimately acquainted.

Informal calls may be made on Sunday
after three o'clock by business and professional
men, provided there are no religious or
other scruples on the part of those receiving
the calls.

Evening or other than mere formal calls
should not be made, save by special invitation.

The first call should last not longer than
ten or fifteen minutes. It is correct to ask
for all the women of the family.

At the first call he should give his card at
the door. At following calls it is optional
whether to give a card or merely the name,
asking at the same time for the person one
desires to see. When the servant's intelligence
seems doubtful, or the name is an
unusual one, it is safer to give a card.

When a woman invites a man to call without
specifying when, it is not considered as
an invitation at all, but merely as a formal
courtesy.

It is bad form to solicit by innuendo or
otherwise an invitation to call from a woman.
It is her privilege to make the first move in
such matters; otherwise she would be placed
in an embarrassing position.

When an invitation specifies the hour,
every effort should be made to be punctual.
It is impolite to be too early or too late.

At a formal call, when others are present,
a man should not be seated unless invited to
do so. He should leave as others come in,
and not remain longer than ten or fifteen
minutes.

A man having a card or letter of introduction
to a young woman should present it in
person to the chaperone. If she is out, he
should mail it to her, and she should at once
notify him whether he may call.

If a caller is a stranger to the young
woman's hostess, he should send his card to
the latter and ask to see her.

The chaperone may, if desirable, give a
man permission to call upon the woman
under her charge.

A man should not call upon an unmarried
woman until invited by her to do so. He
may ask a married woman who has a family
for permission to call.

GLOVES. Gloves need not be removed at a formal
or brief call.

ENTERTAINMENTS. At entertainments a man
should give his card to the servant at the
door or leave it in the hall.

A few appropriate words of greeting should
be addressed to the hostess and host as soon
after entering as possible.

Personal introductions are not absolutely
required at musicales, teas, "At Homes," etc.
One may converse with those nearest, but
this does not warrant future recognition.

When light repasts are served, as teas, ices,
etc, a man should put his napkin on his
knee and hold the plate in his hand.

He should depart with as little ceremony
as possible--a bow and a smile, if host and
hostess are engaged, are sufficient. He
should not shake hands and try to speak unless
it can be done without becoming conspicuous.

MEN CALLING ON WOMEN--HAT. A man making
a formal or brief call should carry his
hat in his hand into the parlor.

SHAKING HANDS. A man should not offer to
shake hands first, as that is the privilege of
the women.

MEN--DRESS. In making ceremonious calls, men
wear afternoon dress, and after six o'clock
evening dress.

See also AFTERNOON DRESS--MEN. EVENING
DRESS--MEN.

PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS--CALLS.

THEATRE. See THEATRE--CALLS.

USHERS. See USHERS--CALLS.

WEDDING INVITATIONS. Very intimate friends
can call personally. Friends of the groom
who have no acquaintance with the bride's
family should send their cards to those inviting
them.

Those who do not receive wedding invitations,
announcement, or "At Home" cards
should not call on the married couple, but
consider themselves as dropped from their
circle of acquaintance.

WOMEN RECEIVING AND INVITING MEN. The
invitation to call should be extended by the
woman, and if she does not specify the time,
will naturally be considered as an act of
courtesy, but not as an invitation.

These invitations should be given with great
care by young women. It is better to have
the invitation extended by her mother or
chaperone.

A married woman may ask a man to call,
especially if she have unmarried daughters.
An afternoon tea is an appropriate time to
specify. A man may ask a married woman
who has a family for permission to call.

At the beginning of a season, a man who
desires the further acquaintance of a woman
should leave his card in person for all the
members of the family.

A formal call, or the first call of the season,
should, mot last longer than ten or fifteen
minutes. It is proper for the man to inquire
for all the women of the family.

A man should call only on "At Home"
days, unless especially invited to come at
other times. The hostess should be home on
all "At Home" days, unless sickness or
other good cause prevents.

In the absence of "At Home" days, or
specified time, calls may be received at any
proper hour, according to the locality of the
place.

When men make a formal call at other than
specified time, the hostess may justly excuse
herself. The caller would have no ground
for offense.

Intimate friends need not hold to formal
hours for paying calls.

Men of leisure should call only at fashionable
hours--from two to five in the afternoon.

Evening calls should not be made by other
than business or professional men, unless the
acquaintance be an intimate one, or unless
they are specially invited.

Business and professional men may call between
eight and nine o'clock, as their obligations
prevent them from observing the fashionable
hours.

Informal calls may be made on Sunday
after three o'clock by business and professional
men, provided there are no religious or other
scruples on the part of those receiving the
calls.

A business man may call in street dress
before six o'clock in the evening, or thereafter
if intimacy warrants.

Evening, or other than mere formal calls,
should not be made, save by special invitation.

A man should leave his card when calling.
If his hostess is married, he should leave
one also for the host. If she is out, he
should leave two.

When calling upon a young woman whose
hostess is not known to the man, he should
send his card to her.

If the woman is seated when a man enters
the room, she rises to greet him, and, if
she wishes, shakes hands. It is her option
to shake hands or not, and she should make
the first advances. It is bad form for him
to do so.

During a formal call, when other guests
are present, a man should remain standing
and depart upon the entrance of others. If
the hostess is seated at the time, she need not
rise or shake hands, but merely bow.

The hostess should not accompany a caller
to the door of the parlor, but bow from her
chair.

Dropping in at a theatre or opera party
does not relieve a man from making formal
calls that may be due.

A woman's escort to a theatre party should
call upon her within a week. If she were
his guest, he should do so within three days,
or send his card, with an apology.

Business calls are privileged, and can be
made when convenient, although preferably
by appointment.

WOMEN RECEIVING--INTRODUCTIONS. At formal
calls conversation should be general among
the guests. Introductions are unnecessary.

AFTERNOON. See AFTERNOON CALLS.

COUNTRY. See COUNTRY CALLS.

EVENING. See EVENING CALLS.

FIRST. See FIRST CALLS.

INVALID'S. See INVALID'S CALLS.

SUNDAY. See SUNDAY CALLS.

CANCELING DINNERS. When it becomes necessary for
a hostess to cancel or postpone a dinner, she
should send as soon as possible, either by
special delivery or messenger, a letter to each
guest who has accepted the invitation. The
letter, written either in the first or third person,
should state the reason and express
regrets.

CANCELING WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS-INVITATIONS
RECALLED.

CANES. A cane is the correct thing for a man when
walking, except when engaged in business.
It should be held a few inches below the
knob, ferrule down, and should, like umbrellas,
be carried vertically.

CALLING. When making a formal or brief call
the cane should be left in the hall.

CARDINAL-HOW ADDRESSED. A letter, official or
social, begins: Your Eminence, and ends: I
have the honor to remain your humble servant.
The address on the envelope is: His Eminence
Cardinal Wilson.

CARDS.

DEBUT. See DEBUT CARDS.

DEBUTANTS. See DEBUTANTE CARDS.

INFANT. See INFANT'S CARDS.

IN MEMORIAM. See IN MEMORIAM CARDS.

MOURNING. See MOURNING CARDS.

CARDS, VISITING.

ADDRESSING. See ADDRESSING CARDS (VISITING).

AFTERNOON TEAS. See CARDS (VISITING), LEAVING
IN PERSON--AFTERNOON TEAS. CARDS (VISITING),
MAIL OR MESSENGER-AFTERNOON TEAS.

AT HOME. See AT HOME-CARDS.

BIRTH (ANNOUNCEMENT). See CARDS (VISITING),
LEAVING IN PERSON--BIRTH.

CONDOLENCE. See CONDOLENCE--CARDS.

DAUGHTER. See DAUGHTERS--CARDS (VISITING).

GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES--CARDS.

HUSBAND AND WIFE. When the wife is calling,
she can leave cards of the husband and
sons if it is impossible for them to do so
themselves.

After an entertainment, cards of the family
can be left for the host and hostess by either
the wife or any of the daughters.
See Also MR. AND MRS. CARD.

LEAVING IN PERSON. When cards with a message
of congratulation are left in person,
nothing should be written on it.

LEAVING IN PERSON--AFTERNOON TEAS.
Women leave cards of their male relatives
as well as their own, although their names
may be announced upon entering the drawing-room.
Guests leave their cards in a receptacle
provided, or give them to the servant
at the door.

MEN. A bachelor should not use AT HOME
cards as a woman does, nor to invite his
friends by writing a date and MUSIC AT FOUR
on his calling card in place of an invitation.

MEN--LEAVING IN PERSON. When returning
to town after a long absence, a man should
leave cards having his address.

When calling upon a young woman whose
hostess is not known by the man, he should
send his card to her.

At the beginning of a season, a man should
leave two cards for all those whose entertainments
he is in the habit of attending, or on
whom he pays social calls. These cards
may also be mailed. If left in person, there
should be one for each member of the family
called upon, or only two cards. In the
former there should be left one card for the
host, one for the hostess, one for the
"misses," and one for the rest of the family
and their guest.

Men of leisure should leave their own
cards, while business men can have them
left by the women of the family.

The corner of the card should not be
turned down.

Cards are now left in the hall by the servant
and the caller is announced. In business
calls the card is taken to the person for
whom the caller asked.

When calling, a man should leave a card
whether the hostess is at home or not.

P. P. C. card's may be left in person or
sent by mail upon departure from city, or
on leaving winter or summer resort.

When a man calls upon a young woman
whom a hostess is entertaining, he should
leave cards for both.

When a man calls upon another man, if he
is not at home, he should leave a card.

When a man calls on the hostess but not
the host he should leave a card for him.
If the hostess is out, he should leave two
cards--one for each.

BREAKFASTS, LUNCHEONS, DINNERS. A man
should leave a card the day after a breakfast,
luncheon, or dinner for the host and hostess,
whether the invitation was accepted or not.
They may also be sent by mail or messenger,
with an apology for so doing.

BALLS, SUBSCRIPTION. Shortly after receiving
an invitation to a subscription ball, a man
should leave a card for the patroness inviting
him.

DEBUTANTE. When calling upon a debutante a
man should leave cards for her mother,
whether the entertainment was attended or
not.

ENTERTAINMENT BY MEN. After a man's formal
entertainment for men, a man should leave a
card within one week, whether the event was
attended or not. It can be sent by mail or
messenger.

RECEPTION. When the host and hostess receive
together, a man should leave one card for
both, and if not present at the reception, he
should send two cards.

THEATRE. After a theatre party given by a
man, he should call within three days on the
woman he escorted or leave his card.

WEDDING RECEPTION. After a wedding reception
a man should leave a card for the host
and hostess, and another for the bridal
couple.

If a man has been invited to the church
but not to the wedding reception, he should
leave a card for the bride's parents and the
bridal couple, or should mail a card.

SENDING BY MAIL, OR MESSENGER. After an
entertainment a man should call in person on
host and hostess, whether the invitation was
accepted or not. If a card is mailed or sent,
it should be accompanied with an apology.

At the beginning of the season a man
should leave cards for all those whose entertainments
he is in the habit of attending, or
on whom he pays social calls. These cards
may also be mailed. If left in person, there
should be one for each member of the household
or only two cards.

In the former case, there should be left one
card for the host, one for the hostess, one for
the "misses," and one for the rest of the
family and the guest.

If a man is unable to make a formal call
upon a debutante and her mother at her
debut, he should send his card by mail or
messenger.

A man may mail his card to a woman
engaged to be married, if acquaintance
warrants.

Visitors to town should send cards to every
one whom they desire to see. The address
should be written on them.

AFTERNOON TEA. If a man is unable to be
present at an afternoon tea, he should send a
card the same afternoon.

BREAKFASTS, LUNCHEONS, DINNERS. A man
should leave a card the day after a breakfast,
luncheon, or dinner for the host and hostess,
whether the invitation was accepted or not.
They may be sent by mail or messenger with
an apology for so doing.

ENTERTAINMENT BY MEN. After a man's formal
entertainment for men, a man should leave a
card within one week, whether the event was
attended or not. It can be sent by mail or
messenger.

P. P. C. cards may be sent by mail or messenger
upon departure from city, or on leaving
winter or summer resort.

RECEPTION. When the host and hostess receive
together, a man should leave one card for
both, and, if not present at the reception, he
should send two cards.

WEDDING RECEPTION. If a man has been invited
to the church but not the wedding
reception, he should leave or mail a card to
the bride's parents, and also to the bridal
couple.

STYLE. The full name should be used, and if
too long, the initials only. The club address
is put in the lower left-hand corner, and if
not living at a club, the home address should
be in lower right-hand corner. In the absence
of a title, Mr. is always used on an
engraved but not a written card.

Cards should be engraved in plain letter,
according to prevailing fashion.

Facsimile cards engraved are no longer
used.

Written cards are in bad taste, but in case
of necessity they may be used. The name
should be written in full if not too long, and
should be the autograph of the sender.

Messages or writing should not appear on
men's cards. If address is changed, new
cards should be engraved. In an emergency
only the new address may be written.

MOURNING CARDS are the same size as visiting-
cards, and a black border is used--the width
to be regulated by the relationship of the
deceased relative.

MEN--STYLE, TITLES. Men having titles use
them before their names--as, Reverend, Rev.,
Mr., Dr., Army and Navy titles, and officers
on retired list. L.L.D. and all professional
titles are placed after the name. Political
and judicial titles are always omitted.

Physicians may use Dr. before or M.D.
after the name. On cards intended for social
use, office hours and other professional
matter are omitted.

MR. AND MRS. See MR. AND MRS. CARDS.

P. P. C. See P. P. C. CARDS.

SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER. If after
accepting an invitation it is necessary to
decline, a card should be sent the evening of
the entertainment, with an explanatory note
the day following.

When an invitation has been received to
an "At Home" debut, and one has not been
able to attend, cards should be sent by mail
or messenger, to arrive at the time of the
ceremony.

A card should be mailed to a man engaged
to be married.

AFTERNOON TEAS. The invitations to a formal
afternoon tea are sent a week or ten days in
advance by mail or messenger. No reply is
necessary, but if unable to be present, a card
should be sent the day of the entertainment.

For an afternoon tea a visiting-card may
be used, with the hour for the "tea" written
or engraved over the date beneath the fixed
day of that week. They may be sent by mail
or messenger.

Persons unable to attend should send cards
the same afternoon.

BIRTH (ANNOUNCEMENT). If wishing to congratulate
after a birth, cards should be left in
person or sent by a messenger. Cut flowers
may be sent with the card.

CONDOLENCE. After a death in the family of
an acquaintance, a card with the word
Condolence written on it should be left in person or
by messenger. For very intimate acquaintances,
cut flowers may be left in person or
sent, together with a card or letter.

When unable to leave in person a card
with Condolence written on it, send it to intimate
friends only with a note of apology. If
out of town, it should be sent with a letter of
condolence.

TRAVELERS. A woman visiting a place for a
length of time should mail to her friends a
visiting-card which contains her temporary
address.

A man in similar situation should call upon
his friends, and if he does not find them at
home, should leave his card.

WEDDING INVITATIONS. Those present at the
ceremony should leave cards for those inviting
them, and if this is not possible, they can
be sent by mail or messenger.

Those invited but not present should send
cards.

WIDOW. See WIDOWS--CARDS.

WIFE. Only the wife of the oldest member of
the oldest branch may use her husband's
name without the initials.

WOMEN. Mrs. or Miss should always be used
before the names. The cards of single
women are smaller than those of married
women.

The husband's name should be used in
full, unless too long, when the initials are
used. Only the wife of the oldest member
of the oldest branch may use her husband's
name without initials.

Reception days should appear in the lower
left-hand corner, limiting dates--as, Until
Lent, or in January, may be either engraved
or written.

If a special function is allotted to any
reception days--as, the entertaining of special
guests--the hour of the reception day may be
written above the day and the date beneath it.

DAUGHTERS. See DAUGHTERS--CARDS.

LEAVING IN PERSON--BIRTH, ANNOUNCEMENT OF.
If wishing to send congratulations,
after receipt of a birth announcement card,
cards should be left in person or sent by a
messenger; cut flowers may be sent with the
card.

Before the wedding cards are issued, an
engaged woman should leave her card
personally upon her friends without entering the
house.

When calling at the beginning of the season
a woman should leave her own card,
those of the men of the family, and two of
her husband's.

After formal invitations, a woman should
leave her own card and those of the men of
the family who were invited, whether they
attended or not.

When calling formally a woman should
leave a card, whether the hostess is at home
or not.

When a woman calls upon a well-known
friend, it is not necessary to send up a card.

When making a call at a hotel or other
public place, the name of the person called
upon should be written in the upper left-
hand corner of the card--as:

For Mrs. Jane Wilson

The corner of the card should not be
turned down.

P. P. C. cards may be left in person or
sent by mail upon departure from city, or
on leaving winter or summer resort.

The corner of the card should not be
turned down.

RECEPTION. At receptions a woman should
leave the cards in the hall or hand them to
the servant.

At a "coming-out reception" a woman
should leave cards for the mother and
daughter.

A married man returns his social obligations
to women by personal calls, or his wife
can do it for him by leaving his card with
her own.

MOTHER AND DAUGHTER. After her debut the
younger of the two daughters has no card of
her own, as her full baptismal name appears
on her mother's card beneath her name. A
year after her first appearance she may have
a card of her own.

When a mother leaves her daughter's card,
it is for the hostess only.

If reception day appear on the mother's
card, the daughters also receive on that date,
as the daughters have no reception days of
their own.

MOTHER AND SON. When a mother is calling,
she can leave cards of her son for the host
and hostess if it is impossible for him to do so
himself.

A son entering society can have his cards
left by his mother upon a host and hostess.
Invitations to entertainments will follow.

RETURNING TO TOWN. Cards of the entire
family should be sent by mail to all
acquaintances when returning after a
prolonged absence.

When using cards, if out of town, the
place of a woman's permanent residence can
be written on the card--thus: New York.
Philadelphia.

SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER. A woman
visiting a place for a length of time should
mail to her friends her visiting-card
containing her temporary address.

P. P. C. cards may be sent by mail or
messenger upon departure from city, or
on leaving winter or summer resort.

After a change of residence the cards of
the entire family should be sent out as soon
as possible.

At the beginning of the season both married
and single women should send their cards
to all their acquaintances.

Visitors to town should send cards to every
one whom they desire to see, with the address
written on the cards.

For afternoon tea a visiting-card may be
used. The hour for the tea is written or
engraved over, and the date beneath the fixed
day of the week. They may be sent by mail
or messenger.

The cards of a debutante may be sent by
mail or messenger.

Mourning cards should be sent to indicate
temporary retirement from society. Later
cards should be sent to indicate return to
society.

AFTERNOON TEA. If a woman is unable to be
present at an afternoon tea she should send
her card the same afternoon.

WEDDING RECEPTION. When invitations have
been received to the church but not to the
wedding reception, cards should be sent to
the bride's parents and to the bridal couple.

WOMEN--STYLE, TITLES. Women having titles
should use them before the name--as,
Reverend or Rev. Mrs. Smith. Physicians use Dr.
before or M.D. after the name. Office hours
and other professional matters are omitted on
cards for social use. Husband's titles should
never be used. The home address is put in
the lower right-hand and the club address in
the lower left-hand corner.

The card of the eldest daughter in society
is simply Miss Wilson.

CARDS OF ADMISSION TO CHURCH WEDDINGS. These
cards are used at all public weddings held in
churches, and when they are used no one
should be admitted to the church without
one. They are sent with the wedding invitations.

CARRIAGES.

BALLS. See BALLS-CARRIAGES.

DANCES. See DANCES-CARRIAGES.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS-CARRIAGES.

MEN. In a general way a man should provide a
carriage when escorting a woman in evening
dress to any function. If she does not wear
evening dress, and they are going to an informal
affair, it would be proper to take a
street-car.

SUPPERS. See SUPPER AND THEATRE PARTIES--MEN--CARRIAGES.

THEATRES. See THEATRES AND OPERA PARTIES GIVEN BY MEN--CARRIAGES.

WOMEN. A woman accepting, with her mother's
or chaperone's consent, a man's invitation to
the theatre may, with propriety, request him
not to provide a carriage unless full dress on
her part is requested.

CATHOLIC PRIEST--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter
begins: Reverend and Dear Sir, and ends: I
have the honor to remain your humble servant.
A social letter begins: Dear Father Wilson,
and ends: I beg to remain faithfully yours,
The address on the envelope is: The Reverend
John J. Wilson. But if he holds the
degree of D.D. (Doctor of Divinity), the
address is: Reverend John J. Wilson, D.D.,
or Reverend Dr. John J. Wilson.

CELERY is eaten with the fingers.

CHANGE OF RESIDENCE. WOMEN. After a change of
residence, the cards of the entire family
should be sent out as soon as possible.

CHAPERONE. A chaperone takes precedence of her
charge in entering drawing or dancing rooms
and on ceremonious occasions. At an entertainment
both enter together, and the chaperone
should introduce her protege to the
hostess and to others. The two should remain
together during the evening. In a
general way the chaperon takes under her
charge the social welfare of her protege.

BALLS. A mother should attend balls with her
daughters, going and returning with them,
and if she is not invited, it is in good taste
for the daughters to decline the invitation.
A father can act as escort, if need be, instead
of the mother. A mother can delegate her
powers to some one else when requested to
act as a chaperone.

MEN CALLING. A man should ask the chaperone's
permission to call upon her protege,
and once it is granted no further permission
is necessary. The chaperone should be present
while a debutante receives male callers
the first year, and when the first call is made
she should be present throughout the evening
and should decide as to the necessity
of her presence during subsequent visits.

CARDS. A chaperone introducing and accompanying
young women should leave her own
card with that of her protege.

DANCES. The chaperone should give her
permission to a man who desires to dance,
promenade, or go to supper with her charge,
who should not converse with him at length
save at the chaperon's side, and the chaperon
should accompany both to supper. If without
an escort, the young woman may accept
the invitation of her last partner before
supper is announced.

INTRODUCTIONS. A man should never be introduced
direct by card or letter to a young
unmarried woman. If he desires to be
introduced, the letter or card of introduction
should be addressed to her chaperone or
mother, who may then introduce him to the
young woman if she deems it advisable.

At an entertainment a chaperone may ask
a young man if he wishes to be introduced
to the one under her care.

LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION. A man having a
letter of introduction to a young woman
should present it in person to the chaperone.
If the latter is out when he calls, he should
mail it to her, and she may then notify him
when he may call, and should herself be
present.

SUPPER, TEA, DINNER. A young woman receiving an
invitation to a man's supper, tea,
or dinner may accept if she has the consent
of her mother or chaperone, and is assured
that a chaperone will be present.

THEATRES. A chaperone's permission should be
asked before a man's invitation to the theatre
can be accepted. The chaperone can also
accept, on behalf of her protege, invitations
from men to theatre parties or suppers,
if she too is invited.

The chaperone should be present at mixed
theatre parties--one for small, and two or
more for larger parties and suppers. The
chaperones may use their own carriage to
call for the guests, and then meet the men at
the places of entertainment. The chaperone
should say when the entertainment shall
close.

UNABLE TO BE PRESENT. When a chaperone
is unable to fulfill her duties, she may delegate
them to another, provided it is agreeable
to all concerned.

CHEESE is first cut into small bits, then placed on
pieces of bread or cracker, and lifted by the
fingers to the mouth.

CHINA WEDDING. This is the twentieth wedding anniversary,
and is not usually celebrated; but
if it is, the invitation may bear the words
NO PRESENTS RECEIVED, and congratulations may
be extended in accepting or declining the
invitation. An entertainment is usually
provided for. Any article of china is appropriate
as a gift.

CHOIR-BOYS AT WEDDINGS. These form a brilliant
addition to a church wedding, and when
employed they meet the bridal party in the
vestibule, and precede them to the altar,
singing a hymn or other appropriate selection.

CHRISTENING.

DRESS. The mother wears an elaborate reception
gown to the church, with white gloves and
a light hat or bonnet.

If the ceremony is at the house, she can
wear an elaborate tea-gown.

The guests wear afternoon or evening
dress, according whether the ceremony comes
before or after 6 P.M.

FLOWERS. A christening ceremony offers a good
opportunity for the guests who desire to
present flowers to the mother. This is not
obligatory, however, and must remain a
matter of personal taste.

GIFTS. A christening ceremony offers a good
opportunity for the invited guests, if they
desire, to send a present to the baby.

These should be sent a day or two before
the ceremony, and if of silver should be
marked with the child's name, initials, or
monogram.

GUESTS. The invitations should be promptly
answered.

At a church ceremony the guests, as they
are few in number, assemble in the front
pews.

At a large house christening the affair is
conducted somewhat like an afternoon reception.
Wine is drunk to the child's health,
and the guests take leave of the hostess.

INVITATIONS are issued by the wife only to intimate
friends, and should be promptly answered.

If the christening is made a formal entertainment,
to take place in the drawing-room,
the invitations may be engraved.

MEN. If the ceremony is in the afternoon they
wear afternoon dress, but at an evening
affair evening dress.

At an afternoon ceremony in the summer
it is allowable for the men to wear straw
hats and light flannel suits.

At a large house christening the affair
should be conducted somewhat like a reception,
and men on departing should take leave
of the hostess.

WOMEN dress as they would for an afternoon reception
if the ceremony comes in the afternoon, and if it comes
after breakfast or luncheon, as they would for a breakfast
or luncheon.

At a large house christening the affair
should be conducted like a reception, and
women should take leave of the hostess on
their departure.

CHURCH. A man usually follows the woman, who
leads to the pew, and he enters after her,
closing the door as he does so.

He should find the places in the service
book for her.

This same courtesy he should extend to a
woman who is a stranger to him.

CLERGYMAN.

CHRISTENING FEES. It is customary to send a
fee to the officiating clergyman, unless he is
a relative or a near friend.

EVENING DRESS. Custom permits a clergyman
to wear his clerical dress at all functions at
which other men wear evening dress; or,
if he wishes, he may also wear the regulation
full dress. The wearing of either is a matter
of taste.

HOW ADDRESSED. All mail and correspondence
should be addressed to Rev. Mr. Smith, but
in conversation a clergyman should be addressed
as Mr. Smith. If he has received the degree of D.D.
(Doctor of Divinity)from some educational institution,
then he is addressed as Dr. Smith, and his mail should
be addressed as Rev. Dr. Smith.

WEDDING CEREMONY. The officiating clergyman (minister or priest)
is selected by the bride, who usually chooses
her family minister, and the latter is then called
upon by the groom with regard to the details. If a
very intimate friend or relative of the groom is a
clergyman, it is in good taste for the bride to ask
him either to officiate or to assist.
If from any cause--as, living outside the State--the
clergyman is unable to legally perform the ceremony,
a magistrate should be present to legalize the ceremony,
and should receive a fee.

CARRIAGE. A carriage should be provided by
the groom to take the clergyman to the
church, then to the reception, and thence to
his house.

FEE. A fee should be paid the clergyman by
the groom through the best man, who should
hand it to him immediately after the ceremony.
If two or three clergymen are present
and assist, the fee of the officiating clergyman
is double that of the others. The clergyman
should receive at least five dollars in gold,
clean bills, or check, in a sealed envelope,
or more, in proportion to the groom's financial
condition and social position.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The clergyman should
always be invited to the reception.

CLUB.

ADDRESS. If residing at a club, a man's visiting-
card should have his club's name in the lower
right-hand corner; if not, the name should
be put in lower left-hand corner.

STATIONERY. This is always in good form for
social correspondence by men.

COACHING. See DRIVING.

COACHMAN-TIPS. It is customary when a guest
leaves a house party after a visit to give the
coachman a tip.

COLLEGE DEGREES. Custom, good taste, and the fitness
of things forbid a college man having engraved,
on his visiting-card, his college degrees--as,
A.B., A.M., etc.

COMMERCE, Secretary of--How Addressed. An official
letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir,
the honor to remain your most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson,
and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely
yours.
The address on the envelope is: Hon. John
J. Wilson, Secretary of Commerce.

COMMITTEES-PUBLIC BALLS. Public balls are conducted
like private ones, and the etiquette is the
same for the guests. The difference in their
management is that, in place of a hostess, her
functions and duties are filled by committees
selected by the organization giving the ball.

CONCLUSION OF A LETTER. The standard conclusions of
letters are: I remain sincerely yours, or; Believe
me faithfully yours.

For business correspondence the standard
conclusions are: Yours truly, or; Very truly yours.

For relatives and dear friends the standard
forms are: Affectionately yours, or; Devotedly yours.

One should avoid signing a letter with only initials,
Christian name, surnames, or diminutives.

MEN. In writing formally on business to a
woman he knows slightly, a man could say:
I am respectfully yours. When not on business
he could write: I beg to remain yours to command.

He should avoid a signature like: J. Jones
Wilson, but write: James J. Wilson

WOMEN. In social correspondence a married woman should
sign: Minnie Wilson, and not: Mrs. John Wilson.
If she wants to make known in a business letter
the fact of her being married, and may not know
if the person addressed knows the fact, she may write:
Minnie Wilson
(Mrs. John Wilson)
An unmarried woman would sign her name as:
Minnie Wilson, and if wishing not to be taken
for a widow would sign: Miss Minnie Wilson.

CONDOLENCE.

CALLS. When death occurs in the family of a friend,
one should call in person and make kindly
inquiries for the family and leave a card,
but should not ask to see those in trouble
unless a very near and dear acquaintanceship warrants.

For a very intimate acquaintance, cut flowers
may be left in person or sent, together
with a card, unless the request has been made
to send none.

CARDS. A visiting-card is used with the word
CONDOLENCE written on it, and should be left
in person if possible, but may be sent or
mailed to intimate friends only if accompanied
by a note of apology. If out of town, it
should be sent by mail with letter of condolence.

A MR. and MRS. card may be used at any
time for condolence, except for intimate
friends.

LETTERS. Only the most intimate and dear
friends should send letters of condolence, and
they may send flowers with the note unless
the request has been made to send none.

CONGRATULATIONS.

BIRTH, ANNOUNCEMENT OF. If wishing to
send congratulations after a birth, cards
should be left in person or sent by messenger.
Cut flowers may be sent with the card.

CARDS. A MR. and MRS. card can be used at any
time for congratulations. If left in person,
which is preferable, the card should be accompanied
by a kindly message, and, if sent
by mail or messenger' the word CONGRATULATIONS
should be written on it. Business and professional
men are not required to make personal calls, and
so may send their cards. A Mr. and Mrs. card can
be used for all but near friends.

When a card is left in person, with a message
of congratulations, nothing should be
written thereon.

A man may mail his card to a woman engaged
to be married, if acquaintance warrants
the action.

Congratulations upon the birth of a child
may be expressed by a man to its father by
sending a card with the word Congratulations
written on it, or by leaving it in
person.

A card should be mailed to a man engaged
to be married.

WEDDINGS. Congratulations may be sent with
letter of acceptance or declination to a wedding
to those sending the invitations. And
if acquaintance with bride and groom warrant,
a note of congratulations may be sent to
them also.

Guests in personal conversation with the
latter give best wishes to the bride and
congratulations to the groom.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES. In accepting or
declining invitations to wedding anniversaries,
congratulations may be extended.

CONVERSATION AT DINNERS. Aim at bright and general
conversation, avoiding all personalities and
any subject that all cannot join in. This
is largely determined by the character of the
company. The guests should accommodate
themselves to their surroundings.

COOKS-TIPS. It is customary for men who have
been guests at a house party when they
leave to remember the cook by sending her
a tip.

CORN ON THE COB is eaten with the fingers of one hand.
A good plan is to cut off the kernels and eat
them with the aid of a fork.

CORNER OF CARD TURNED DOWN. This is no longer
done by persons when calling and leaving
cards.

CORRESPONDENCE. How to address official and social
letters. See under title of person addressed
--as, ARCHBISHOP, etc.

COSTUME BALLS.--INVITATIONS. Invitations are similar
to invitations to balls, except that they have
in place of DANCING in the lower left-hand
corner. COSTUME OF THE XVIIIth CENTURY, BAL
MASQUE, OR BAL POUDRE.

COTILLIONS. Germans are less formal than balls.
Supper precedes the dancing. Those who
do not dance or enjoy it can leave before
that time.

The etiquette is the same as for balls.

DRESS. The regulation evening dress is worn.

HOSTESS. The rules governing a hostess when
giving a ball are the same for a cotillion,
with this addition--that there should be an
even number of men and women, and, failing
this, more men than women.

It is for the hostess to choose the leader
of the cotillion, and to him are entrusted all
its details.

At the conclusion of the cotillion the hostess
stands at the door with the leader at
her side, to receive the greetings and the compliments
of the guests.

See also DEBUTS.

DEBUTS. A debut may be made at a dinner,
reception, or ball. The debutante's card
should be enclosed with the invitation, reading:
Miss Wilson; or, if a younger daughter,
Miss Minnie Wilson. For an "At
Home" debut, the least formal of all these
entertainments, the name of the debutante is
engraved below that of her mother.

The mother and elder unmarried sisters
prior to the debut should call formally upon
those whom they wish to invite to the ceremony.
Cards of the family are left, including
those of father and brothers.

BALLS--INVITATIONS. When a young woman is
to be introduced into society by a ball given
in her honor, the parents may use a Mr. and
Mrs. calling card, with the words added in
writing: Dancing at ten o'clock, with card of
the debutante enclosed.

Or the parents may use a specially engraved
invitation.

CARDS, LEAVING. At the entertainments at a
debut, as at a supper, cards should be left for
the mother and daughter, and if guests are
unable to be present, they should send them
the day of the entertainment.

ENTERTAINMENTS. Debuts may be an "At
Home," supper, or dinner, the latter being
more formal, and only intimate friends being
invited. When making her debut, the debutante
should stand beside her mother in the
drawing-room, near the door, and be introduced
by her. On formal occasions the
father stands with them. The debutante
may receive flowers from intimate friends
only.

AT HOMES. These are the least formal.

SUPPERS OR DINNERS. If the debut takes the
form of a supper or dinner, the brother takes
in the debutante, and the father the most
distinguished woman; or, if there is no
brother, he takes in the debutante himself,
and she is seated at his left hand. The
mother is escorted by the most distinguished
man.

Should dancing follow, the mother should
select the first partner, who dances but once,
when others are at liberty to follow.

GUESTS. Guests should offer congratulations to
a debutante at her debut in a few well-chosen
words, and also to the parents. A few
moments of conversation with her only is admissible.

INVITATIONS. Invitations are engraved, and
should be sent by mail or messenger two
weeks in advance, addressed to Mr. and Mrs.
A, or Mrs. B, or The Misses A. While the
invitations to a family may be enclosed in
one envelope and sent to the principal one
of the family, the son of the family should
receive a separate invitation. Men should
receive separate invitations and acknowledge
them, in person.

Acknowledgment is mot necessary for an
"At Home" debut occurring in the afternoon,
but would be for a formal one in the
evening, for which special engraved invitations
had been sent.

If invitations for an afternoon "At Home"
reception are accepted, cards should be left
for mother and daughter. And, if not attending,
cards should be sent by mail or
messenger.

DIAMOND WEDDINGS. These occur after seventy-
five years of married life, and naturally are
of very rare occurrence. If they are celebrated,
the invitation may bear the words:
NO PRESENTS RECEIVED, and congratulations
may be extended in accepting or declining
the invitation. An entertainment should be
provided for. Any article of diamonds or
precious stones is appropriate as a gift.

DINNERS. If the circle of acquaintances is large,
a series of dinners is necessary during the
season.

Dinners should begin at an hour between
seven-thirty and eight-thirty.

The dining-room should be bright and
attractive, well lighted, and artistically decorated
with flowers.

The success of a dinner lies in the selection
of the guests, with regard to their
congeniality to each other, and their conversational
powers and varying attainments. It
is better to have a few at a time, perhaps
eight, as a larger number is unmanageable.

CALLS. Guests should call soon after the dinner.

DRESS. Full dress is worn by both men and
women.

GUESTS. When guests are not congenial, or have
dislikes, they should not show it, but appear
as if the contrary were the case.

Guests should be prompt in arriving at the
hour named.

At the table it is in good taste to accept
whatever is offered, eating it or not, as one
desires. Wines should be accepted, even if
one does not partake of them. And if a toast
is offered, a guest should recognize the courtesy
by raising his glass.

Conversing across the table is permissible,
provided the distance does not require the
voice to be unduly raised.

When coffee is served in the drawing-room,
young women serve, and the men hand it to
the guests.

When the men re-enter the drawing-room
after the coffee, the guests should retire,
unless some further entertainment follows.
This is usually about eleven o'clock. When
leaving, a guest should thank the host and
hostess, making some agreeable and appropriate
remark suitable to the occasion.

HOST. When dinner is announced, the host
offers his left arm to the woman he escorts.
She may be the special invited guest, or the
most prominent guest present.

The signal for all to rise is given by the
hostess, who bows to the woman on the host's
right. The men escort the women to the
door or drawing-room, after which they return,
and cigars and liquors are offered.

The host wears full dress.

GUEST LATE. The host should always come
forward to shake hands with the late-comer,
and help him to find his seat, and do all in
his power to make his late-coming quickly
overlooked.

HOSTESS. The hostess receives her guest at the
parlor entrance.

At table the guests should remain standing
until all have found their places, when the
host and hostess seat themselves, after which
the others follow. The men should assist the
women they escort before taking their own
seats.

At an informal dinner a hostess should introduce
a man to the woman he is to escort
to dinner, informing him whether he is to sit
on the right or left hand of the host.

When the dinner is announced the host
with his escort leads the way, followed by the
guests, and the hostess and her escort come
last.

GUEST LATE. The hostess should always bow
and shake hands with a guest arriving late,
but does not rise unless the guest is a woman.

HOURS. Dinners begin from 7 to 8 P.M., and
usually last from one hour to an hour and a
half.

INTRODUCTIONS. If a man is not acquainted with
the woman assigned to him, the hostess
should introduce him to the woman.

INVITATIONS. These should be acknowledged
immediately by a letter of acceptance, or declining
with regret.

The invitations are given in the name of
husband and wife, and should be sent out
two or four weeks in advance. R. S. V. P.
is not used, and they should be answered
immediately.

Invitations to a dinner in honor of a special
guest are engraved, and state this fact. If
for good reasons there is not sufficient time
to engrave, an ordinary invitation may be
used, and a visiting-card enclosed, upon which
is written: To meet Miss Wilson.

For ceremonious dinners, cards may be engraved,
with place for guest's name left blank
and filled in by hand.

When frequent dinners are given, invitations
may be engraved, with blanks to be
filled with dates, etc.

Written invitations are also proper to indicate
an unceremonious dinner. Note sheets
can be used.

HUSBAND AND WIFE. Both the husband and
wife should always be invited to a dinner.

When a husband and wife are invited to
dinner, and the former does not accept, the
wife should decline, giving her reason. The
hostess can then invite the wife only, who
may accept.

MEN. Full dress is necessary for all except informal
dinners.

The man at the door, after asking the
guest's name, hands him an envelope, with
his name upon it, enclosing a card with the
name of the woman he is to escort to dinner;
or these envelopes may be in the dressing-
rooms, if preferred. It will also be designated
at which side of the table (right or
left) a man is to sit; or a diagram of the
table, with the names of the guests, should
be hung in each dressing-room. The guests
pair off as indicated.

As soon as possible a man should seek the
woman assigned to him, and inform her that
he will be pleased to act as her escort, disguising
any personal preference he may have
otherwise.

He should offer his left arm when escorting
her to dinner.

When the dinner is announced, the host
leads the way with the woman he escorts,
and the rest follow. To avoid confusion, a
man should remember on which side of the
table he is to sit, his place being indicated by
a dinner card.

If unacquainted with the woman a man is
to escort to dinner, he should seek an introduction
from the hostess.

When the women rise to leave, the men
rise and remain standing until the women
leave the dining-room, or they may accompany
them to the drawing-room, and then
return for coffee and cigars. They should
not remain longer than half an hour.

LEAVING CARDS. After a dinner a man should
leave a card for host and hostess, whether
the invitation was accepted or not; or it
may be sent by mail or messenger, with an
apology for so doing.

PRECEDENCE. The host offers his right arm to
the woman who is the guest, or the most distinguished
woman, or the eldest, or the one
invited for the first time. If the dinner is
given in honor of a married couple, the host
would take in the wife, and the husband
would accompany the hostess, who comes
last in the procession into the dining-room.

It is a fixed rule that relatives, or husbands
and wives, are never seated together.

If possible, there should be an equal number
of men and women, and if the latter outnumber
the former, the hostess enters alone.

SECOND HELPING. At formal dinner parties,
luncheons, and breakfasts, second helpings
are never offered by the host or hostess, and
should not be asked for by the guests. This
is only permissible at a small dinner party
or at the daily family meal.

Of course, this does not apply to a second
glass of water for which the guest might ask,
or for wine, for which the butler should keep
a good lookout.

TABLE ETIQUETTE. See TABLE ETIQUETTE.

WOMEN. When wraps have been removed, and
the woman leaves the dressing-room, the escort
chosen by the hostess approaches and makes
known the fact, accompanying her to the
table. If the escort is not thoroughly agreeable
to the woman, she should conceal the
fact.

At the conclusion of a dinner the hostess rises
and the women follow, leaving their napkins
unfolded. They retire to the drawing-room,
while the men remain for coffee and cigars.
If the men prefer, they may escort them to
the drawing-room, where they bow and return.

GLOVES. Women may remove their gloves at
table, and it is not necessary to replace them.
They should be laid in the lap. The hostess
generally determines whether the women
should resume their gloves or not by her own
actions.

Full dress is worn.

GIVEN BY MEN--WOMEN. A young woman may
accept a man's invitation, provided she has
the consent of her mother or guardian, and
is assured that there will be present a chaperone.

GIVEN BY BACHELORS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS.

DINNER DANCE.

INVITATIONS. The hostess issues two sets of
invitations--one for those invited to both the
dinner and the dance, and one for those invited
to the dance only.

For the former she could use her usual
engraved dinner cards with the words: Dancing
at eleven, and for the latter her usual
engraved At Home cards with the words:
Dancing at eleven.

A less formal way for the latter invitation
is to use the Mr. and Mrs. card or Mrs. and
Miss card, and to write on it in the lower left
hand corner: Dancing at ten, February the
tenth.

DOCTOR--HOW ADDRESSED. A doctor or physician
should be addressed as Dr. both by correspondence
and in conversation.

This title of Dr. must not be confounded
with the honorary degree of Doctor of Divinity,
conferred upon clergymen by educational
institutions, and the degree of Doctor of
Philosophy, conferred upon college professors
after certain conditions of study have been
complied with.

DOWAGER DUCHESS. See DUCHESS, DOWAGER.

DOWAGER MARCHIONESS. See MARCHIONESS, DOWAGER.

DRESS.

AFTERNOON. See AFTERNOON--DRESS.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS--DRESS.

AT HOMES. See AT HOMES--DRESS.

BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELOR'S DINNERS--
DRESS.

BACHELORS' TEAS. See BACHELOR'S TEAS--DRESS.

BALLS. See BALLS--DRESS.

BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS--DRESS.

CHRISTENINGS. See CHRISTENING--DRESS.

COTILLIONS. See COTILLIONS--DRESS.

COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS. See COTILLIONS
BY SUBSCRIPTIONS--DRESS.

DANCES. See DANCES--DRESS.

DINNERS. See DINNERS--DRESS.

EVENING. See EVENING DRESS.

GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES--DRESS.

HIGH TEAS. See HIGH TEAS--DRESS.

HOUSE PARTIES. See HOUSE PARTIES--DRESS.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS--DRESS.

MATINEES. See MATINEES--DRESS.

MUSICALES. See MUSICALES--DRESS.

THEATRES. See THEATRES--DRESS.

WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS--DRESS.

DRESS--MEN AND WOMEN. For particulars as to dress
at different functions, see each entertainment
--as, Balls, Dinners, At Homes, Theatres,
Breakfasts, etc.

DRESS--WOMEN.

BRIDE. See BRIDE--DRESS.

BRIDESMAIDS. See BRIDESMAIDS--DRESS.

CALLS. See CALLS--WOMEN--DRESS.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS--WOMEN--DRESS.

MAID OF HONOR. See MAID OF HONOR--DRESS.

MOURNING. See MOURNING--DRESS, WOMEN.

DRESSING-ROOMS. At all entertainments,
dressing-rooms should be provided for both
the men and for the women, with suitable
attendants, where all outer wraps, coats, over-
shoes, etc., should be left.

DRIVING

MEN. When driving with a woman, a man should
be careful that the carriage is well drawn up
to the steps, and that she be given time in
which to comfortably seat herself before he
begins to drive.

A man when driving with a woman should
refrain from asking her permission to smoke,
and, of course, would never do so without her
permission.

He should be careful to lift his hat as if he
were on the street, and if this is not possible,
to touch it with the whip in place of a bow.

The host of a coaching party, if he is also
the whip, would give the chaperone the seat
on the box at the left of his, unless he wished
that seat to be occupied by some special young
woman. The person occupying this seat
should always be helped by the host to climb
to her place.

It is customary when the coach is a high
one to seat a woman between two men, and
they would ascend and descend in the order
in which they were seated.

Even if the woman asks a man to drive with
her, he should help her to her seat, and be
ready to step down when a halt is made to
assist her to alight.

It is not customary when a woman has
asked a man to drive with her for her to call
for him at his club or home, but to meet him
at her house.

DRESS. The whip wears a gray suit with a gray
high hat and gray gloves, with a white silk
tie and white linen. But in summer this costume
is often made lighter and more comfortable
to suit the weather, and a straw hat
or panama, with flannel trousers and dark
serge sacque coat, would be in good taste.

There are no hard and fast rules governing
the dress of men when driving.

WOMEN. The etiquette in general is the same
for a woman as for a man.

When a woman asks a man or a male relative
to drive with her, she does not call for
him, but meets him at her door. Even if a
groom is present, he should help her to
mount to her seat, and at the proper time
descend before her and help her to alight.

DUCHESS--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins:
Madam, may it please Your Grace, and ends:
I have the honor to remain your Grace's obedient
servant.

A social letter begins: My Dear Duchess of
Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Duchess,
yours very truly.

The address on the envelope is: To Her
Grace, The Duchess of Kent.

DUCHESS, DOWAGER--HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: May it please YOUR Grace, and
ends: I have the honor to remain your Grace's
obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Duchess
Of Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Duchess,
yours very truly.

The address on the envelope is: To Her
Grace, The Dowager Duchess of Kent, or, To
Her Grace, Minnie, Duchess of Kent.

DUKE--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins:
My Lord Duke, may it please your grace, and
ends: I have the honor to be your grace's most
obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Duke of
Kent, and ends: believe me, dear Duke, your
Grace's very faithfully.

The address on the envelope is: To His
Grace, The Duke of Kent.

DAUGHTER OF. See Daughter of Duke.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF. See Wife of
Younger Son of Duke.

YOUNGER SON OF. See Son (Younger) of Duke.

EARL--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins:
My Lord, and ends: I have the honor to be
your lordship's obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Right Honorable The Earl Of Kent.

A social letter begins: Dear Lord Kent,
and ends: Believe me my dear Lord Kent,
very sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Earl of Kent

DAUGHTER OF. See Daughter of Earl.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON. See Wife of Younger
Son of Earl.

YOUNGER SON OF. See Son (Younger) of Earl.

EGGS are usually broken into a glass and eaten with
a spoon.

ELEVATOR. Men should remove their hats when
riding in an elevator with women, although
it is held by some that an elevator is as much
a public conveyance as a car, and this act of
courtesy as unnecessary in the one place as
in the other. Women enter and leave before
men.

ENGAGEMENT.

MEN It is his duty to see the woman's parents
or guardian, and to make known his
intentions, and to tell them fully and frankly
about himself, his family, his social position,
and business prospects. He should court the
fullest investigation, and take his own family
into his confidence, but not mention it to
others.

PARENTS OF MAN. They should send their
pleasant greetings and congratulations,
accompanied with flowers, and if both families
are old acquaintances, a present may be sent
to the prospective bride.

PARENTS OF WOMAN. The first step is to bring
together both parents in social intercourse--
as, by a dinner given by the man's or woman's
family, when friends may be invited, by
interchange of notes and congratulations, by
any social visit, or by any function that good
taste may dictate.

If one family lives out of town, it may
invite various members of the other family
living in the city to make visits of some
duration, as a week or more. These visits should
be returned.

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT. This item of news is
rarely published in the papers, but if it is,
the expense is borne by the family of the
woman. The public announcement is usually
made at some social entertainment--as, a
dinner, tea, or an "At Home," given by either
family.

At a formal dinner given by the family of
the woman, the father takes out his daughter
first and her fiance escorts her mother. At
the proper time the father drinks his future
son-in-law's health and announces the
engagement. All rise, and congratulations
follow.

Notes may be written to intimate friends
informing them of the happy event.

WOMEN. A woman should at once confide in
her parents, and trust to their future
guidance and to their making a full investigation
of the man, his social condition, and business
prospects. They should not mention the
matter to others.

Immediately after the engagement, each of
the two parties should be introduced to the
family of the other party. Before the wedding-cards
are issued the woman should leave her
card personally at the homes of her friends,
but without entering. After the wedding-cards
are issued she should not appear at any
social function, or make any personal visits,
or be seen at any place of amusement.

It is not wise for her to call at the place of
business of her fiance, and if a meeting is
necessary, it is better to make an appointment
elsewhere.

RING. The ring is given by the man immediately
after the announcement of the engagement
to the woman, who wears it on the third finger
of her left hand. It should be a small and
unostentatious one. Diamonds, rubies,
moonstones, sapphires, and other precious stones
may be used.

He may ask the woman to aid him in the
selection, but it is better for him to make the
selection alone. The woman may give the
man an engagement ring or a gift if she
wishes.

ENTERTAINMENTS--CALLS AFTER. See CALLS--MEN--AFTER
ENTERTAINMENTS.

ENVELOPES, ADDRESSING. See ADDRESSING ENVELOPES.

ESQUIRE. Either ESQ. or MR. may be used in
addressing a letter, but never the two at the
same time.

EVENING CALLS. When no special day for receiving
is indicated, calls may be made at any proper
hour, according to the custom of the locality.
Men of leisure may call at the fashionable
hours, from two till five o'clock in the
afternoon, while business and professional men
may call between eight and nine in the
evening, as their obligations prevent them from
observing the fashionable hours.

EVENING DRESS.

Men. Evening dress should be worn on all
formal occasions, consisting of the swallow-
tail coat of black material, made in the
prevailing fashion, with waistcoat and trousers
of the same material; or a white vest may
be worn.

The linen must be white. Studs or shirt-
buttons may be worn, according to fashion.
The collar should be high, and the cravat
white. Low patent-leather shoes and white
kid gloves complete the costume.

Evening dress should be worn at all formal
functions after six o'clock--as, balls, dinners,
suppers, receptions, germans, formal
stag parties, theatre, opera, and fashionable
evening calls where women are present.

The phrase, "evening dress," is now used
in place of full dress.

A Tuxedo should never be worn when
women are present.

See also TUXEDO. CLERGYMAN--EVENING
DRESS.

WEDDINGS, EVENING. Full evening dress is
worn by the groom and ushers. Guests are
likewise in evening dress.

CLERGYMAN. Custom permits a clergyman to
wear his clerical dress at all functions where
other men wear evening dress, or he may
wear evening dress.

EVENING RECEPTIONS. The etiquette is the same as
for an afternoon tea (formal), save that no
cards are left by the guests, and that they
wear evening dress.

See AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL).

FACSIMILE CARDS, engraved, are no longer used.

FAMILY OF BRIDE. The family, except the father,
leave the house first, then the bridesmaids,
the maid of honor with the mother, and last
the bride with her father or nearest male
relative. At church the family is seated by the
ushers.

At the conclusion of the ceremony they are
the first to be escorted from their pew and to
take their carriage for the wedding reception
or breakfast.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The bride's father or
her nearest male relative takes in the groom's
mother, and the bride's mother, as hostess, is
taken in by the groom's father.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The parents of both
bride and groom stand up with the married
couple, and are introduced to the guests.

FAMILY OF GROOM. At the church the family and
relatives of the groom are seated on one side,
while the family of the bride and her
relatives are seated on the other.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The groom's mother is
taken in by the bride's father, and the groom's
father takes in the bride's mother, who,
acting as hostess, comes last.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The parents of both
bride and groom stand up with the married
couple, and are introduced to the guests.

FAREWELL BACHELOR DINNER. See BACHELOR'S FAREWELL
DINNERS.

FAREWELL BRIDAL LUNCHEON. See BRIDE--FAREWELL
LUNCHEON.

FATHER OF BRIDE.

DEBUTS. When the debut is a formal one, he
stands beside his wife and daughter, and
receives the congratulations of the guests. At
a supper or dinner he escorts the most
distinguished woman. If there is no brother to
escort the debutante, he does so, and she is
seated at his left hand.

DINNER, ENGAGEMENT. At a formal dinner
given by the family of the engaged woman
the father takes out his daughter first and
her fiance escorts her mother. At the proper
time the father drinks to the health of his
future son-in-law, and announces the
engagement. All rise, and congratulations follow.

He wears evening dress.

The father of the bride, or her nearest
male relative, drives to the church with her,
and is there received by the ushers and
bridesmaids, and escorts her in the
procession up the aisle.

After the procession has arrived at the
chancel and the groom comes forward to
take the bride's hand, he steps back a little
way and waits for the clergyman's words:
"Who giveth this woman away?" He
then places the bride's right hand in that of
the clergyman, and retires to his seat in the
pew with his family.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. He takes in the mother
of the groom, following the ushers and the
maids of honor.

WEDDING RECEPTION. He escorts the groom's
mother, and receives with the married couple.

FATHER OF GROOM. At a wedding breakfast he should
take in the mother of the bride, and at a
wedding reception he receives with the bride
and groom.

At a church wedding he is, of course, given
a front seat among those reserved for the
groom's family.

He should wear afternoon dress for an
afternoon wedding, and evening dress at an
evening wedding.

FEES.

CHRISTENING. See CHRISTENING--FEES

WEDDING. The wedding fee, preferably gold or
clean bills in sealed envelope, is given by the
best man to the officiating clergyman. Custom
leaves the amount to the groom, who
should give at least five dollars or more, in
proportion to his income and social position.
The clergyman usually gives the fee to his
wife.

A fee should also be paid to the sexton and
the organist

FIANCE, MOURNING FOR. In the event of the death
of a woman's betrothed shortly before the
date of the wedding, she may wear black for
a short period or full mourning for a year.

FINGER-BOWL. The fingers should be dipped in the
water and gently rubbed together, and dried
on the napkins.

FIRST CALLS. Newcomers and brides are called upon
first.

After a country visit, the visitor should call
first upon the hostess when the latter returns
to town.

Other things being equal, the younger or
unmarried woman calls first upon the older
or married woman.

A woman returning to town before another
one would make the first call.

If one woman issues her AT HOME card
before another, she should receive the first
call.

FISH should be eaten with a fork held in the right
hand and a piece of bread held in the left hand.
The bones should be removed from the
mouth with the aid of a fork or with the
fingers. If by the latter, great delicacy
should be used.

FLOWER GIRL. The flower girls--one or two, as may
be the case--follow the maid of honor up the
isle and strew flowers in the path of the
bride, who follows after.

In the procession down the isle they should
follow the bride.

Flower girls and pages are not used now
as much as formerly.

FLOWERS. Between friends, flowers may be sent as
an expression of sympathy in either joy or
sorrow.

BIRTH, ANNOUNCEMENT OF. If wishing to send
congratulations after a birth, cards should be
left in person or sent by a messenger. Cut
flowers may be sent with the card.

BRIDE. If she wishes, a bride may present flowers
to her bridesmaids, and also to the best
man and ushers.

CHRISTENING. A christening ceremony offers a
good opportunity for the guests who desire
to present flowers to the mother. This is
not obligatory, however, and must remain a
matter of personal taste.

CONDOLENCE CALLS. When making a condolence
call upon a very intimate friend, cut
flowers may be left in person or sent,
together with a card, unless request has been
made to send none.

DEBUTANTE. Friends should send flowers to a
debutante at a formal tea given in her honor.

ENGAGEMENT. Flowers should accompany the
greetings from the parents of the man to the
parents of the woman.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS--FLOWERS.

GROOM. He pays for the bridal bouquet carried
by the bride at the wedding ceremony, and, if
he wishes, for the bouquets carried by the
bridesmaids.

MEN. If well acquainted with a debutante's
family, a man may send her flowers at the
time of her debut.

After a slightly intimate acquaintance, a
man can present flowers to a young
unmarried woman as a token of sympathy either of
joy or sorrow.

It is not usual for a man to send flowers to
a woman who is a mere acquaintance.

BALLS. It is permissible for a man, if he wishes,
to send flowers to a woman he is to escort to
a ball.

THEATRE OR OPERA. It is permissible, but not
necessary, for a man to send flowers to the
woman he is to take to the theatre or to the
opera.

WEDDING TRIP. The best man should arrange
beforehand all the details of the trip--such as
the tickets, parlor-car, flowers, baggage, etc.

PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS--FLOWERS.

FORK AND KNIFE. See KNIFE AND FORK.

FORMAL AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL).

FORMAL DANCES. See DANCES (FORMAL).

FRUIT. All raw fruit, except melons, berries, and
grapefruit, are eaten with the fingers.
Canned fruits are eaten with a spoon.

FULL DRESS. This phrase is now no longer in good
usage, and instead should be used the term:
"Evening Dress," which SEE.

FUNERALS. A member of the family, or very near
relative, should take charge of the ceremony
and direct the undertaker. A large funeral
should be avoided, and the ceremony confined
to the immediate family and nearest relatives,
and, if possible, the service should be at the
church.

All the details of the funeral should be
carefully considered and carried out, with the
ceremony started at the hour set, and with
all appearance of confusion avoided.

It is not now customary to watch by the
dead at night.

Funerals should be private, and only those
intimately interested should be invited.

CARRIAGES. A carriage should always be
provided to call for the clergyman and to take
him from the church or cemetery back to his
house. Carriages should also be provided to
take the friends, mourners, and pall-bearers
from the house to the church, and then to the
cemetery and return. These are provided by
the family.

DRESS. See FUNERALS--MEN.

EXPENSES. Though it is not customary for
the clergyman in Protestant churches to
expect or to receive fees for conducting funerals,
yet it is in perfectly good taste to offer him a
fee. In the Roman Catholic Church the rate
of fees for funerals is fixed. There are,
besides, fees for the sexton, the organist, and the
singers.

FLOWERS. The family, in publishing notice of
funeral, may add: "Kindly omit flowers."
However, in the absence of such a notice,
at the public funerals of prominent persons
elaborate designs may be sent. But at a
private funeral, if flowers are sent, they
should be choice and delicate.

The custom is growing of having fewer
flowers, and it is no longer in good taste to
have a carriage in the procession carrying
flowers and set pieces. A good use of the
large set pieces is to send them afterward to
the hospitals.

If any flowers are laid upon the grave
they should be those given by the nearest
relatives.

INVITATIONS. A church funeral can be attended
by any one, friend or acquaintance, and no
slight should be felt at the non-receipt of an
invitation. Those attending should take
especial pains to be in the church before the
funeral procession arrives, and that they do
nothing to distract from the solemnity of the
occasion.

Notice of death and date of funeral may be
printed on heavy bordered cards, or on
mourning paper, and sent to friends.
Sometimes a notice is written and sent to most
intimate friends.

MEN--DRESS. A man should wear either a black
frock coat or a black cutaway, with the
necktie, gloves, and other parts of the dress as
subdued as possible. Under no conditions
should light ties or light-colored linen be
worn.

PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS.

PRECEDENCE. At a church funeral the parents,
arm in arm, follow the body of their child,
and the children come next in the order of
their age.

A widow, leaning on the arm of her eldest
son, follows the body of her husband, and
the other children come after.

A widower, attended by his eldest daughter
or son, follows the body of his wife, and the
children come after.

The elder children always precede the
younger. The pall-bearers are seated at the
left of the main isle, and the near relatives
at the right.

PUBLIC NOTICE. When the date of the funeral
has been determined upon, notice should be
published in the papers, giving date, place,
and time of funeral--also date of birth and
late place of residence of deceased. Such
announcement may contain notice that
the interment is private, and also the words:
"Kindly omit flowers."

A notice of death and date of funeral may
be printed on heavy bordered cards or mourning
paper, and sent to friends. Sometimes
a notice is written and sent to most intimate
friends.

CHURCH. The pall-bearers and the nearest relatives
meet at the house. At the appointed
hour the procession leaves the house, the
casket borne on the shoulders of the undertaker's
assistants, followed by the pall-bearers,
relatives, and friends.

The same order is followed in the procession
up the aisle, the relatives occupying
the first pews on the right, the pall-bearers
the first pews on the left, of the middle aisle.
At the conclusion of the ceremony the friends
wait until the family and pall-bearers have
left, and then quietly retire.

HOUSE. At a house funeral, some one representing
the family should receive the people
as they enter and direct them where to go,
it being customary for the family and relatives
to be in one room and the friends in
another.

Usually there are no pall-bearers; but if
there are, their duties are the same as at a
church funeral. The clergyman should stand
near the casket, and if there are musicians
they should be so stationed that, while they
are not seen, they are easily heard. At the
conclusion of the ceremony the friends depart,
and thus allow the family and relatives
to take the last leave of the deceased
before they take the carriages for the cemetery.

It is customary for the family to be in
retirement at the hour of the funeral, and
they are the first to enter the carriages.

Those in charge of the house should, after
the funeral party has left, arrange the
apartments to make them as cheerful as possible,
and also provide a substantial meal for
the mourners on their return.

GARDEN PARTIES.

CARDS. Guests leave their cards in the hall either
when entering or leaving only at large garden
parties.

DRESS. It is customary for women to wear light
afternoon dresses.

Men wear summer business suits, yachting
flannels, and straw hats, and even white duck
trousers. Gloves are not worn.

The regulation frock coat and high hat is
not worn, save by men from the city or at
some extremely fashionable affair.

GUESTS. After leaving their outer garments in
the dressing-rooms, the guests should pay
their respects to the hostess, after which
they are free to enjoy themselves as they
please.

The usual length of stay is about half an
hour or the whole afternoon.

While guests may arrive at their own convenient
time, they would do well to remember
that they have not the same freedom to come
and go as at an afternoon reception.

Guests should take leave of the hostess unless
she is very much engaged.

HOSTESS. The hostess wears afternoon dress,
and usually one that is dainty and delicate--
suitable for a summer afternoon.

She receives on the lawn, shakes hands
with each guest, and makes introductions
when deemed essential.

She may, if she so desires, receive with
some member of her family.

HOURS. These are from 3 to 7 P.M.

INVITATIONS. These are issued in the name of
the hostess, and may be engraved or written.
Sometimes the hostess writes on her card:
GARDEN PARTY, JULY 17, FROM 4 TO 7, or she
may use an AT HOME card, and in the lower
left-hand corner write: GARDEN PARTY. The
engraved card usually indicates an elaborate
affair.

These invitations may be sent by mail or
messenger.

It is a good plan to add to the invitations
some information regarding the trains, or to
enclose a time-table.

All such invitations should be promptly
acknowledged or declined.

MEN. Men wear summer business suits, white
ducks, or yachting flannels, A tennis suit
would be permissible.

The regulation frock coat and high hat
should be worn only by men from the city
attending an affair in the country, or at some
extremely fashionable affair.

Men should greet the hostess both on their
arrival and departure.

Visiting-cards are left only at large garden
parties.

WOMEN. Women wear light, delicate, afternoon
dresses.

They should greet the hostess, both on their
arrival and departure.

Visiting-cards are left only at large and
formal outdoor affairs.

GERMANS. See COTILLIONS.

GIFTS.

AFTER HOUSE PARTY. While not necessary, a
guest after a house party may send some
trifle to the hostess as a token of pleasure
and appreciation.

BEST MAN. After the groom selects the best
man, the latter should send a gift to the
bride, and may, if he wish, send it to the
groom, a custom not yet clearly established.

CHRISTENING. A christening ceremony offers a
good opportunity for the invited guests so
wishing to send a gift to the baby. These
should be sent a day or two before the
ceremony, and, if of silver, should be suitably
marked with the child's name, initials, or
monogram.

ENGAGEMENT. If both families of the engaged
couple are old acquaintances, the parents of
the man may send a gift along with their
greetings and congratulations.

WEDDING. See WEDDINGS--GIFTS.

GIFTS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN. Books, flowers,
and other small articles of decoration are
proper gifts to accept.

Sending valuable gifts of jewelry, or any
other article, depends largely upon the
relationships of the parties, and should not be
done unless the sender is sure of its
acceptance. Such gifts should not be accepted
from mere acquaintances or friends.

It is bad form for a man to send expensive
presents to a woman who may be compelled
to return them.

GLOVES.

MEN. At the opera or theatre, if in full dress,
gloves may be dispensed with, but they are
worn with street dress. With formal evening
dress, white kid gloves should be worn.

For afternoon dress, gloves should be of
undressed kid, gray, tan, or brown. When
calling, the glove of the right hand should
be removed upon entering the drawing-room.

Gloves should not be worn at high teas.

MEN--AFTERNOON DRESS. Undressed kid
gloves of a dark color are worn.

MEN-BALLS. Men should always wear gloves
at all balls, in summer or winter, in town or
city.

MEN-CALLING ON WOMEN. Gloves need not
be removed at a formal or brief call.

MEN-DANCES. Gloves should be worn at formal
dances, and should be put on before entering
the room.

MEN-HIGH TEA. Men do not wear gloves.

MEN-MOURNING. Black or dark-colored gloves
should be worn.

MEN--SHAKING HANDS. At weddings, operas,
or dances, and on all very formal occasions,
men wear gloves. In shaking hands with
women on these occasions gloves should not
be removed.

If a hostess wears gloves at any formal
affair, a man wears his when he shakes hands
with her.

A man with hands gloved should never
shake hands with a woman without an apology
for so doing, unless she likewise wears gloves.
A sudden meeting, etc., may make a hand-shaking
in gloves unavoidable. Unless the
other party is also gloved, a man should say:
"Please excuse my glove."

WOMEN. Gloves should always be worn on the
street.

At dinners, or formal teas, women should
remove their gloves at the table and place
them in their laps.

At dinners and formal teas, when the
women have retired to the drawing-room,
they may resume their gloves or not, or
follow the example of the hostess.

At informal teas or "At Homes" the
hostess need not wear gloves.

BREAKFAST. Gloves should be removed at table.

DINNER. Women may remove their gloves at
table, and it is not necessary to replace
them. They should be laid in the lap. The
hostess generally determines by her own
actions whether the women should resume
gloves or not.

MOURNING. Gloves may be of black kid, suede,
or black silk. In the evening, black suede
or glace, or white suede should be worn.
White gloves with black stitching should not
be worn in the evening.

BRIDE. See BRIDE--GLOVES.

GROOM. See GROOM--GLOVES.

USHERS. See USHERS--GLOVES.

GODFATHER. A man asked to be one of the sponsors
at a christening ceremony should reply by a
written note or by calling in person.

He should call immediately on the parents
and send flowers to the mother, and express
himself as pleased at the compliment.

He should send a present to the child,
usually a piece of jewelry or some silver, and,
if a wealthy relative, may deposit a sum of
money to the child's credit, and present him
with the bank-book.

He should also send with his present one
of his calling cards, on which is written some
appropriate sentiment.

It is his privilege, when the wine is about
to be drunk after the ceremony, to first
propose the health of the child and then the
health of the mother.

The duties of the godfather at the ceremony
consist of assenting to the vows.

GODMOTHER. A woman asked to be a sponsor at a
christening should immediately accept or
decline the invitation either by a written note
or a call.

She should also call on the parents and send
flowers to the mother, and express pleasure
at the compliment paid to her.

It is always customary for the godmother
to give the child a gift, such as a christening
robe, a cradle, or some piece of silver. If
the latter is sent, it should have the child's
name on it. With the gift should be sent
the sponsor's calling card, with some
appropriate sentiment on it. It is customary to
send the gift to the child itself.

GOLDEN WEDDINGS. Fifty years after the wedding-day
comes the Golden Wedding. The invitations
may bear the words: NO PRESENTS
RECEIVED, and congratulations may be extended
in accepting or declining the invitation. An
entertainment is usually provided for.

The gifts are, appropriately, articles of
gold, and this is a fitting occasion for giving
fifty gold pieces of either, five, ten, or twenty
dollar denomination. The invitations are
appropriately engraved in gold, and the
decorations golden in color.

GOVERNOR OF A STATE--HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have the honor,
sir, to remain your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Governor
Wilson, and ends: Believe me, most sincerely
yours.

The address on the envelope is: Governor
John J. Wilson.

GRAPES AND PLUMS should be eaten one by one, and
the pits allowed to fall noiselessly into the
half-closed hand and then transferred to the
plate.

GROOM. The groom selects his best man, usually
an unmarried intimate friend, though a married
man or widower is permissible. After
consultation with the bride he calls upon the
clergyman, the organist, the sexton, and invites
the ushers.

When he is informed by his bride of the
day selected for the wedding, he should ask
her mother to accept the day agreed upon.

He may make what present he desires to
the bride, and, if he also wishes, to the brides-
maids. If any gifts are sent to the groom,
they should bear his name or cipher.

He should furnish the bride's family with
a list of names of persons to whom he desires
to have invitations sent, designating his
preference for those to be asked to the wedding
breakfast or reception.

BEFORE CEREMONY. The day before the ceremony,
or sooner, he gives into the safe-
keeping of the best man the ring and the fee
for the clergyman.

He also sends or hands the marriage license
(if one is needed) to the officiating
clergyman before the ceremony.

CHURCH, It is not customary for the groom to
see his bride on the wedding-day till he
meets her at the altar. The groom and the
best man usually breakfast together on the
wedding-day and arrive in ample time at the
church.

Upon the arrival of the bride in the
vestibule, the clergyman enters the chancel,
followed by the groom and the best man. The
groom then steps forward, and stands at the
left of the clergyman, facing the audience. It
is a good plan for both the groom and best
man to leave their hats in the vestry, but if
the groom has not done so, he gives his hat
and gloves to the best man on the approach
of the bride, and advances to meet her. He
gives her his left arm, and together they stand
before the clergyman.

At the proper moment he receives the ring
from the best man and hands it to the bride.
It is no longer in good form for him to kiss
the bride after the ceremony, but after receiving
the congratulations of the clergyman
to give her his right arm, and together they
lead the procession to the vestibule.

CLERGYMAN. While the bride selects the officiating
clergyman, it is the place of the groom
to call upon him in regard to the details, and
to pay him the fee.

If the clergyman from any cause--as, living
outside of the State--cannot legally perform
the ceremony, a magistrate should be present
to legalize the marriage, and should receive
a fee.

DRESS-EVENING WEDDING. He wears full
evening dress.

DRESS-MORNING OR AFTERNOON WEDDING.
He wears afternoon dress, consisting of a
double-breasted frock coat of dark material,
waistcoat, single or double (preferably the
latter), of same material, or more usually of
some fancy material of late design. The
trousers should be of light pattern, avoiding
extremes. The linen should be white, and
the tie white or light material, and the gloves
of gray suede. These, with patent-leather
shoes and a silk hat, complete the costume.

EXPENSES. He pays for the license fee, the
organist's fee, and a fee to the sexton.

Nothing less than five dollars in gold,
clean bills, or a check in a sealed envelope,
or more, according to social position and
financial income, should be the clergyman's
fee. Should there be one or two additional
clergymen, he pays a fee to each, the fee of
the officiating clergyman being double that
of the others.

He pays for the carriages of the ushers,
the one for himself and the best man, and
the one which takes away the married couple
on their wedding trip.

He pays for the bouquet carried by the
bride, and, if he wishes, for the bouquets
carried by the bridesmaids. He also pays for
the cuff-buttons or scarf-pins, and, if he
wishes, for the gloves and neckties given
to the ushers and the best man.

He pays for the wedding-ring--a plain gold
one, with initials of bride and groom and
date of marriage engraved thereon. He may
also present some souvenirs to the
bridesmaids.

He may give a farewell dinner a few
evenings before the wedding to his best man,
ushers, and a few intimate friends. He sits
at the head of the table and the best man
opposite, and on this occasion he may give
the scarf-pins or cuff-buttons, also neckties
and gloves, if he wishes, to the best man and
ushers.

FAREWELL DINNER. See BACHELOR'S FAREWELL
DINNER.

GLOVES. At a morning or afternoon wedding,
the groom wears gray suede gloves.

At an evening wedding he wears white kid
gloves.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The bride and groom
enter first, and are seated at the principal
table.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The groom and his bride
stand side by side and receive the
congratulations of all present. The guests serve
them refreshments.

See also BEST MAN. BRIDE. USHERS. All
items under WEDDINGS.

GROOM'S FAMILY. See FAMILY OF GROOM.

GROOM'S FATHER. See FATHER OF GROOM.

GROOM'S MOTHER. See MOTHER OF GROOM.

GUESTS.

GUEST OF HONOR AT BALLS, if the ball is given
in honor of some special person, he should be
met on his arrival, introduced to the women
of the reception committee, escorted to the
seat prepared for him, and be attended to the
whole evening by the management of the ball.

At the end of the ball, he should be escorted
to his carriage.

LATE AT DINNERS. When a guest arrives late
he should make a short and suitable apology
to the hostess, and then take his seat as
quickly and as quietly as possible.

The hostess shakes hands with the guest,
but does not rise unless the guest is a woman.

The host should in either case rise and
meet the guest, and assist him in finding his
seat, and endeavor, by making the conversation
general, to distract attention from the
event.

For duties of guests, see other functions--
as, BALLS--GUESTS, CHRISTENINGS--GUESTS, etc.

HAND-SHAKING--INTRODUCTIONS. Women and men on
being introduced may shake hands, but it is
not good form. A polite bow, a smile, and
friendly recognition is more correct. If an
advance is made by either party, it should be
immediately accepted.

HAT.

MEN--CALLING. When making a formal or
brief call, the hat should be carried in the
hand into the parlor.

In apologizing to a woman, opening a door,
or rendering any service to a woman in public,
or in answering a question, the hat should
be raised.

When seeing a woman to her carriage, he
should raise his hat upon closing the
carriage door. When attentions are offered by
another man to a woman whom he is escorting,
a man raises his hat in acknowledgment
of the courtesy and thanks the party.

In a street-car a man raises his hat when
giving his seat to a woman.

On the railroad a man removes his hat in
the parlor-car, but not in the day coach.

In an elevator a man should remove his
hat in the presence of women.

In hotels where corridors are reserved and
used as places of meeting and recreation by
the guests, no hats should be worn. Standing
uncovered when talking to a woman on
the street is generally embarrassing to her,
and it is better to make a polite bow and
replace it after a few seconds.

MOURNING. A crape band around the hat should
be worn--the width of the band being
determined by the character of the bereavement.

HIGH TEA. This is an elaborate entertainment,
and an elaborate menu is generally served.

CALLS. Calls should be made in person one week
after the event.

GUESTS. Guests wear evening dress, and should
not remain more than half an hour.

INVITATIONS. These are engraved, and the
hour for the entertainment specified. They
should be issued in the name of the hostess
only, except in such cases when the entertainment
is the occasion of a debut or another
woman assists, in which event her
name appears likewise.

The invitations should be promptly accepted
or declined.

MEN. Full dress is worn, but men do not wear
gloves.

WOMEN. Full dress is worn.

HOME WEDDINGS. Weddings at the homes of the
brides vary much, according to the taste of
the participants. The ushers, bridesmaids,
best man, and maid of honor are generally
dispensed with; but if present, their duties
are the same as at a church wedding, with
minor differences.

The clergyman stands in a large room
decorated with flowers, facing the audience,
with the groom beside him. The bride enters
on the arm of her father, followed by the
bridesmaids and ushers, and the ceremony
proceeds as at a church, with the usual
congratulations to the groom and best wishes to
the bride.

Refreshments are served, either formal or
informal. At an afternoon ceremony men
wear the regulation afternoon dress, and if
in the evening, the usual evening dress.

HONEYMOON, See WEDDING TRIP.

HONOR, SEAT OF. The seat of honor is at the right
of the host.

HOST.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS--HOST.

BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS--
HOST.

BACHELORS' TEAS. See BACHELORS' TEAS--HOST.

BALLS. See BALLS--HOST.

DANCES. See DANCES (FORMAL)--HOST.

DINNERS. See DINNERS--HOST.

MATINEES. See MATINEES--HOST.

THEATRES. See THEATRE AND OPERA PARTIES
GIVEN BY MEN.

HOSTESS.

INTRODUCTIONS. Introductions to the hostess at
an "At Home" or reception by women
assisting hostess, to those who have been invited
to the entertainment by them, are not
recognized thereafter unless by mutual consent.

The hostess receiving in her own home
should offer her hand to all to whom she is
introduced.

The hostess introduces her immediate family
to all her guests. No formal permission
is necessary.

In the case of one woman desiring an introduction
to another, the hostess should be
asked to bring this about.

INTRODUCTIONS BY CHAPERONES. At entertainments
both the chaperone and her protege
should enter together, and the chaperone
should introduce her protege to the hostess.

WOMEN CALLING UPON. When calling formally
upon a hostess, a woman should leave a card,
whether the hostess was at home or not.

When a son enters society, his mother,
when calling, can leave his cards for him, and
invitations to entertainments will follow. If
it is impossible for him to leave cards for himself
she may continue to do so.

WOMEN LEAVING CARDS ON. When a mother
leaves her daughter's card, it is for the hostess
only.

HIGH TEAS. See HIGH TEAS--HOSTESS.

HOUSE PARTIES. See HOUSE PARTIES--HOSTESS.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS--HOSTESS.

MATINEES. See MATINEES--HOSTESS.

SHAKING HANDS. See SHAKING HANDS--HOST.

WEDDINGS. See MOTHER OF BRIDE.

HOURS.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS--HOURS.

BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS--HOURS.

CALLS. See CALLS--HOURS.

DINNERS. See DINNERS--HOURS.

GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES--HOURS.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS--HOURS.

MUSICALES. See MUSICALES--HOURS.

RECEPTIONS. See RECEPTIONS--HOURS.

WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS--HOURS.

HOUSE FUNERALS. See FUNERALS--HOUSE.

HOUSE PARTIES. These usually refer to a group of congenial
persons, numbering from four to
twenty-four, and visiting country homes,
making a stay of a few days or a few weeks.

DRESS. The length of the visit and the nature
of the house party determines the extent of
wardrobe necessary. A guest should carry
at least three changes of suits--one for the
morning, one suitable for afternoon entertainments,
picnics, etc., and the regulation
evening dress.

GUEST. To be a welcome guest the visitor
should accommodate himself as much as possible
to the plans of his hostess and the ways
of the home life.

A visitor should avoid the common mistake
of refusing to make a choice when a
choice is offered.

A guest should try to be congenial with
the other guests, kind to the servants, and
to be considerate of all others.

EXPENSES. The hostess should furnish transportation
for both guests and baggage to and
from the station.

Each guest should pay for all expenses incurred
by him, and be especially careful, in
the case of sickness or misfortune, that some
items are not overlooked.

LETTER AFTER DEPARTURE. If the visit has
been more than two days, the guest should
write a short letter to the hostess, telling
of the pleasure the visit gave them and their
safe journey home.

A guest so desiring might send some trifle
as a gift to the hostess.

TIPPING SERVANTS. Unless a hostess positively
requests her guests not to tip, a guest,
when leaving at the end of a visit at a private
house, should remember the servants.
The average American, from lack of a definite
standard, too often errs on the side of
giving too much.

Those giving personal service should be
remembered, as well as those who render service--
as, the coachman and outside servants.

HOSTESS. While careful to provide entertainment
for her guests, a hostess should be careful
not to overentertain, and to allow each guest
ample time in which to enjoy themselves
any way they please. If an entertainment
is planned for the afternoon, it is well to
leave the mornings open, and VICE VERSA.

The success of the hostess depends on her
making the guests feel free from care and
ENNUI.

CARING FOR THE SICK. In addition to the regular
care of the guest's room and attention to
his comfort and pleasure, a hostess should
double her energies in case her guest is sick.

She is not called upon to pay for the expenses
of telegrams, doctor's bills, medicines,
etc., contracted by the guest. If a
guest departed without attending to these
matters, the hostess would have to pay for
them.

GIVING FAREWELL, To VISITORS. A hostess
should, in bidding farewell to her visitors,
see that she does not overdo it.

While it is not strictly necessary that a
hostess should accompany a guest to the depot,
yet many still follow this rule, especially in
the case of an unmarried woman, and

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