The True History of Tom & Jerry
by Charles Hindley · English · Gutenberg #43504 · 505,050 chars · public domain (US)
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Title: The True History of Tom & Jerry
Author: Charles Hindley
Pierce Egan
W. T. Moncrieff
Illustrator: George Cruikshank
Robert Cruikshank
Release date: August 19, 2013 [eBook #43504]
Most recently updated: October 23, 2024
Language: English
Other information and formats: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/43504
Credits: Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images
generously made available by The Internet Archive.)
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE HISTORY OF TOM & JERRY ***
THE TRUE HISTORY
OF TOM & JERRY:
OR,
[Illustration: LIFE IN LONDON.]
LIFE IN LONDON, my boys, is a round of delight,
In frolics, I keep up, both the day and the night,
With my TOM and my JERRY, I try to “_get best_”
Of the COVES in the _East_--and the SWELLS at the _West_!
Such _pals_ in a _lark_, we the TOWN can defy, O!
Then join me in _chaunting_ our _precious_ TRIO.
[Illustration: BILLY WATERS.]
_Mags_ came thick, this made him merry;
Fortune changes in a crack--
Folks they went t’ see Tom and Jerry,
And on Billy turned their back.
One notable effect of “Life in London,” particularly in its dramatised
form must be recorded. It broke the heart of poor Billy Waters, the
one-legged musical negro, who died in St. Giles’s workhouse, whispering
with his ebbing breath, a mild anathema, which sounded very much like:
“Cuss him, dam Tom--meē--Tom--meē Jerry!”
Poor Billy endeavoured, up to the period of his last illness, to obtain
for a wife and two children what he termed, “An honest living by scraping
de cat-gut!” by which he originally collected considerable sums of money
at the West-end of the town, where his ribbon-decked cocked hat and
feathers, with the grin on his countenance, and sudden turn and kick out
of his wooden limb, and other antics and efforts to please, excited much
mirth and attention, and were well rewarded from the pockets of John Bull.
THE TRUE HISTORY
OF TOM AND JERRY;
OR,
THE DAY AND NIGHT SCENES,
OF LIFE IN LONDON
FROM THE START TO THE FINISH!
WITH A KEY TO THE PERSONS AND PLACES,
TOGETHER WITH A VOCABULARY AND GLOSSARY
OF THE
FLASH AND SLANG TERMS,
OCCURING IN THE COURSE OF THE WORK.
BY
CHARLES HINDLEY,
_Editor of “The Old Book Collector’s Miscellany; or,
a Collection of Readable Reprints of Literary Rarities”
“Works of John Taylor--the Water Poet,” “The Roxburghe
Ballads,” “The History of the Catnach Press,” “The
Curiosities of Street Literature,” “The Book of Ready
Made Speeches,” “Life and Times of James Catnach, late
of the Seven Dials, Ballad Monger,” “Tavern Anecdotes
and Sayings,” etc._
London:
CHARLES HINDLEY, 41, BOOKSELLERS’ ROW, ST. CLEMENT DANES,
STRAND, W.C.
[Illustration]
INTRODUCTION.
“Nothing succeeds like success”--or “Fails like failure.”
Prince Talleyrand _cum_ Baron Nicholson!
That PIERCE EGAN’S LIFE IN LONDON, or TOM AND JERRY, was a success, we
have plenty of printed evidence and ‘hearsay’! to prove. And we also
know--beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the news of its metropolitan fame
went forth with almost telegraphic speed throughout the provinces:--From
John o’Groat’s House to the Land’s End!--From Dan to Beersheba!--and back
_again_! With LIFE IN LONDON, its language became the language of the day;
drawing-rooms were turned into _chaffing cribs_, and rank and beauty
learned to patter flash _ad nauseam_.
The original work went through several editions in a very short time, and
the plates, by the Brothers Cruikshank, were considered so full of
amusement that they were transferred to a variety of articles without any
loss of time. The _Lady_ taking her _gunpowder_ was enabled to amuse her
visitors with the adventures of _Tom and Jerry_ on her highly-finished
tea-tray. The lovers of Irish _Blackguard_ experienced a double zest in
taking a pinch from a box, the lid of which exhibited the laughable phiz
of the eccentric BOB LOGIC. The country folks were delighted with the
handkerchief which displayed TOM getting the best of a Charley, and DUSTY
BOB and BLACK SAL “all happiness!” The _Female of Quality_ felt interested
with the lively scene of the light fantastic toe at Almack’s, when playing
with her elegant fan; and the _Connoisseur_, with a smile of satisfaction
on his countenance, contemplated his screen, on which were displayed the
motley groups of high and low characters continually on the move in the
metropolis.
Everybody talked of TOM AND JERRY, and crowds rushed to the theatres where
the uproarious adventures of these popular personages were represented in
a dramatic form. Mr. W. T. Moncrieff’s adaptation brought out at the
Adelphi Theatre, November 26th, 1821:--which, “_by-the way_,” was by far
the best of the whole _bunch_!--ran uninterruptedly through two seasons.
It then appeared in rapid succession at the Theatres all over England,
Ireland, Scotland, and Wales; likewise in most of the United States of
America, the West Indies, &c.
But although LIFE IN LONDON, or, TOM AND JERRY did make our grandfathers
so very--_very!_ merry in the first quarter of the Nineteenth Century, we
are constrained to admit; that it is a terrible dull and tedious work to
read through in the present day, and it is on that very account, that we
here place before our readers, what we are pleased to term--THE TRUE
HISTORY of TOM and JERRY; for the work has a history of its own, and to
exemplify the fact, we have in the first place, made numerous selections
from the original work, then given the principal scenes of Moncrieff’s
dramatic version of the same, the two concluding chapters of PIERCE EGAN’S
continuation of his LIFE IN LONDON which he entitles--THE FINISH TO THE
ADVENTURES OF TOM, JERRY, AND LOGIC, in their Pursuits through LIFE IN AND
OUT OF LONDON.[1] Together with a “KEY to PERSONS and PLACES, and an
Etymological and Critical Vocabulary and Glossary of _Flash_ and _Slang
Terms_ occurring in the course of this work,” as at once giving an
epitome of the whole: and to our mind, sufficient to be known of PIERCE
EGAN’S once popular work. To which we have added such historic facts and
scraps of information that have come to hand during our researches in
connection with the--RISE and PROGRESS--DECLINE and FALL of the BOOK and
its STORY. The present generation will find in some of the scenes depicted
in such glowing colours, many of the fashions, manners and customs, which
prevailed in the reign of King George the Fourth, together with certain
landmarks of the past, which no one need regret leaving far behind, and
ought to give every encouragement to those who live under the rule of
Queen Victoria to maintain a firm faith in the social progress of the age.
The first CHAPTER of LIFE IN LONDON, commences with what the author terms
AN INVOCATION, in which, after _invoking!_--“the pleasing, grateful,
inspiring, nay, golden advantages resulting from the smiles of that
supreme goddess of the gods, FAME!”--which he adds is the--“flattering
unction” that all authors _sigh_ to be anointed with. He then in
very--“merry-go-round--here we go round”--sort of a way calls to his aid
many of the past, and, also then, living authors, artists, publishers, and
public characters of the day--“to enrich his judgment--guide his
pen--inspire him with confidence--and in other ways assist him in the
arduous task he has undertaken.” And thus he ‘_invokes_.’ Laurence
Sterne--divine and humourist--(1713-68):--
--“It is to thee, STERNE, I first humbly bend my knee, and solicit thy
most powerful aid. If thou didst not _use up_ all thy stock of
SENSIBILITY before thou wert called away to enjoy the reward of thy
exertions in the bowers of Elysium, pray tell me where thou didst
deposit that most precious bottle, that I may with an eagerness
unexampled, uncork its treasures and apply every drop after thy rich
felicity: I have great need of it. And FIELDING, too, thou true
delineator of HUMAN NATURE, if only a small _remnant_ of thy MANTLE
has been left behind, let me but know it, that I may ransack every
piece-broker’s house in the kingdom, till I become the master of such
an invaluable stimulus to exertion. And, although another SOPHIA
WESTERN, perhaps, is not to be met with in the walks of the present
day, if it were my precise object, yet, let me but produce some
similarity towards the _double_ of a TOM JONES or a BOOTH, and the
highest pinnacle of my ambition is attained. SMOLLETT, thy touching
heartfelt qualities break in upon me so penetratingly, that I must
also invoke thy friendly shrine. And if a RORY RANDOM or a Lieutenant
BOWLING should ever cross my path, instruct me to portray their noble
traits with all that richness of colouring, and peculiar happiness of
style, that once embellished thy truly characteristic pen.
--“Advance, also the Metropolitan Heroes of Literary Renown, whether
of GENIUS great, either of _romantic_ style, or of _Poetry_ exquisite,
of DON JUAN or Lalla Rookh quality, it matters not, if _generosity_
lie within thine inkstands, and ye put forth your good wishes for my
success; show me your _passports_ to excellence, and put me in the
right road, that I may ultimately obtain your proud signatures and
arrive safe at the end of my journey.
--“REVIEWS, those terrific Censors of the timid writer, and arbiters
of the press, whether QUARTERLY,[2] or at EDINBURGH,[3] you who apply
the _knife_, bear it in mind that VAN BUTCHELL[4] _advertises_ to
perform _cures_ without _cutting_; and that ABERNETHY[5] is himself
alone! and also remember, thou _sages_ of the quill, that many an
unfortunate _homo_ who has been ‘damned to everlasting Fame’ and
disposed of in a _Jef_, in thy most omnipotent pages; yet has, from
the _resuscitating_ glossy aid of Messrs. DAY & MARTIN, become a
_shining_ Literary Character in Paternoster Row, and formed one of the
real Portraits of LIFE IN LONDON.
--“Come forth, my _Mag_ of BLACKWOOD[6]; thee, too, I must invoke!
thou _chiel_ of SATIRE, whose lively sallies and
‘laughing-in-the-sleeve greatness’ that would have paralysed the
pencil of a HOGARTH, or struck dumb the _piquant_ ridicule of a
CHURCHILL, if the grim King of Terrors had not deprived us of their
talents; I challenge thee to the _scratch_! ’Tis ONE OF THE FANCY
calls! But, from thy _lamb-like_ qualities and _playful_ artillery, it
must only be a private _set-to_ with the _gloves_. My hand grapples
with you in friendship--it possesses not _weight_ enough to combat
with thee, although the _pluck_, perhaps, attached to it may be always
_gay_. Be it remembered, that BLACKWOOD is always in _training_--he
_hits_ so very hard--and his BACKERS are likewise so numerous amongst
the Greeks, Latins, Hebrews, and Classics, that it would be two to one
against an open contest: therefore, good Mr. Blackwood, be just, nay,
be more, ‘be merciful. It is doubly bless’d’; and you know _Blacky_,
‘it blesseth him that _gives_ and him that _takes_.’ Then _floor_ me
not; but instead:--
Shoot thine arrow o’er thy house,--
And do not wound thy brother;
but whisper to the PACK, and particularly to the _whipper-in_, Old
Christopher North, that ‘’TIS I’--(your _flash-y_ friend of the
South). But let me entreat of you Mr. Blackwood, to _bottle-off_ a few
of thy little mastery touches (as full of fire as thy famed whisky),
and send them to me with all the speed of the mail, lest my stock of
_spirits_ should be exhausted, and that LIFE IN LONDON may be
enriched with the fine colouring of a _Meg Merrilees_, if it be only
in perspective.”
--“And MR. COLBURN (thou indefatigable promoter of literature), thy
assistance I most humbly crave! indeed, I feel assured that thy
spirited and liberal disposition will not permit thee to omit
informing those dashing belles and beaux, whose morning lounge gives
thy repository of the mind an air of fashion, that LIFE IN LONDON is
worthy of perusal.
* * * * *
“But thou, O MURRAY! whose classic front defies, with terrific awe,
ill-starred, pale, wan, and _shabbily_-clad GENIUS from approaching
thy splendid threshold, retreat a little from thy rigid reserve, and
for once open thy doors, and take the unsophisticated JERRY HAWTHORN
by the hand; and although not a CHILDE HAROLD in birth, a CORSAIR
bold, or a HARDY VAUX, _wretched_ exile; yet let me solicit thee to
introduce him to thy numerous acquaintance, that, having once obtained
thy _smiling_ sanction, JERRY may not only have the honour of being
allowed to call again, but to offer his services throughout thy
extended circle. Grant me but this and whether in simple quires, in
humble boards, or in Russia, triumphantly gilt, so that thou promote
my fame, my gratitude attends thee, and values not the mode of thy
favours.”
“CHRISTIE, I am sure thy goodness will not refuse me the loan of thy
_erudite_ hammer, if not to _knock down_, yet to dispose of every
coarse and offensive article; nay more, let them not be numbered in
the _catalogue_ of my offences.”
“O SHAUGHNESSY, fashion me into thy fine attitudes and guard, to
protect me from assaults in all the hair-breath escapes I may have to
encounter in my day and midnight rambles. And thou, O mighty and
powerful champion, CRIBB, admired hero of the stage, teach me to make
a _hit_ of so KEAN a quality, that it may not only _tell_, but be long
remembered in the Metropolis. And Paternoster-row triumpet forth its
praise and excellence throughout the most distant provinces.”
“ACKERMAN, if ever thou didst _value_ the Tour of DR. SYNTAX, I call
upon thee now to lend thy friendly assistance and protection to
CORINTHIAN TOM and his rustic _protégé_ poor JERRY. Present a copy of
their SPREES and RAMBLES to the learned Doctor, and his ‘Picturesque’
brain will be all on fire for another tour, from the new scenes it
will develop to his unbounded thirst for enterprise and knowledge.”
“And thou, too, HONE, thou king of parodists! turn not a deaf ear to
my request, but condescendingly grant the petition of your most humble
suitor. In my diversity of research, teach me ‘how to tell my story,’
that I may not only woo the public with success and fame, but produce
that fine edge in _sharpening_ up my ideas, yet, withal so smooth and
_oily_, that instead of _wounding_ characters, I may merely _tickle_
them and create a smile!”
“_Tremblingly alive!_ nay, heavily oppressed with agitation and fear,
I now intrude myself into thy presence, thou renowned hero of the
police, TOWNSHEND. Do not frown upon me, but stretch out thine hand to
my assistance, thou bashaw of the _prigs_ and all-but _beak_! The
satellite of kings and princes, protector of the nobility, and one of
the _safe guards_ of the Metropolis. Listen to my application, I
entreat thee, ‘my knowing one,’ and for once let me take a _peep_ into
thy hiden invaluable secrets. It is only a _glance_ at thy _reader_[7]
that I request:--
Wherein of hundreds _topp’d_, thousands lagg’d;
And of the innumerable _teazings_ thou has book’d.
thy ‘Life in London,’ alone, is a history of such magnitude, that, if
once developed, the ‘Adventures of Robinson Crusoe’ must be forgotten.
O teach me, TOWNSEY, to be as _down_ in my portraits as thou art in
giving all the light and shade of criminality to the nightly mysteries
of the wary FENCE when pressing for a conviction; and likewise, to
keep as sharp a look out after _characters_ in the ball-room of the
CORINTHIANS as thy penetrating eyes scour the abodes of the great when
‘at home’ to make all right. I ask no more than:
Sit mihi fas audita loqui; sit numine vestro
Pandere res altâ terra et caligine mersas.”
PIERCE EGAN--THE AUTHOR--Then more particularly appeals to the Brothers R.
and G. CRUIKSHANK and to ☞ HIMSELF!!! as BOXIANA, thus:--
“In all your varied portraiture of the interesting scenes of Life, let
me invoke thy superior talents, BOB and GEORGE CRUIKSHANK (thou
_Gillray_[8] of the day, and of _Don Saltero_[9] greatness), to my
anxious aid. Indeed, I have need of all your illustrative touches; and
may we be hand-and-glove together in depicting the richness of nature,
which so wantonly, at times, plays off her freaks upon half-famished
bone-rakers and cinder sifters round the dust hill, that we may be
found, _en passant_, so identified with the scene in question, as
almost to form a part of the group. May you also, BOB and GEORGE,
_grapple_ with _Hogarthian_ energy, in displaying _tout a la monde_
the sublime and _finished_ part of creation, whether _screwed_ up to a
_semi-tone_ of ART, or in nobly delineating, what must always be a
welcome visitor at every residence, and likewise an admired portrait
over all the chimney-pieces in the kingdom--a PERFECT GENTLEMAN. But,
before I dismiss you to your studies, bear it in remembrance, ‘nothing
to extenuate, or set down aught in malice;’ yet be tremblingly alive
to the _shrug_ of the fastidious critic, who might, in his sneer,
remark, that CARICATURE would be as much out of time and place in
holding up to ridicule the interior of the religious good man’s
closet, as it is animatedly required in giving all the rusticity and
fun incident to the humours of a country life.”
--“And, thou, O BOXIANA! my dearest friend and well-wisher, thou
beloved companion of all my hours, thou ‘note book’ of my MIND, and
‘pen-and-ink remembrancer’ of my passing scenes, whether in splendid
palaces, lost in admiration over the fascinating works of art, or in
_diving_ into the humble cellar, passing an hour with some of
mankind’s worthiest children, poor, but contented and happy,--be thou
my guide and assistant! Do not desert me, at _peep o’ day_, when
drowsy Watchmen quit their posts, and coffee-shops _vomit_ forth their
_snoozing_ customers--those out-casts of society--to whom a table is a
luxury to rest their thoughtless heads upon, and whose:--
Dry desert of a leather pocket book does not contain
A solitary farthing!
Be also at my elbow, upon the _strut_ in Hyde Park, on Sunday’s stare,
when Sol’s bright rays over _Fashion’s_ splendid scene gives such a
brilliancy of appearance. And be thou near to me, should midnight
Covent Garden rows claim my attention, when _noisy rattles_ collect
together the dissipated ramblers _touched_ with the potent juice of
Bacchus, and entangled with _hoarse Cyprians_ in the last stage of
existence, till dragged to the watch-house, where the black hole gives
a _limit_ to their depravity of exclamation. In this respect, BOXIANA,
let thine ear be as nice as SPAGNIOLETTI’S; anxious, like this great
master of the Cremona, to give all the force and beauty of
composition, but carefully to avoid a note being out of tune. Then,
for once, let me entreat of thee, in soliciting thy assistance, that
thou wilt take off the _gloves_, quit the prize ring, put down thy
_steamer_, and for awhile dispense with thy DAFFY, but, above all,
stear clear from the _slang_,[10] except, indeed, where the instances
decidedly call it forth, in order to produce an effect, and _emphasis_
of character. Then, fare thee well?”
_Vive vale--si quid novisti rectius istis,
Candidus imperti; si non, his utere mecum._--HORACE.
--“Farewell and be happy--if you know of any precepts better than
these, be so candid as to communicate them, if not, partake of these
with me.”
----------“If a better system’s thine,
Impart it freely, or make use of mine.”
Early in the career of the publication of LIFE IN LONDON, there seems to
have been some adverse criticisms by at least a section of the Press on
the _slang_ of the Author; and the somewhat highly coloured and _spicey_
Plates of the Brothers Cruikshank, as in CHAPTER VI., page 84, Part III.,
there is the following apology, or, explanation printed as a foot-note
thus:--
--“I am aware that some of my readers of a higher class of society,
may feel, or seem to think, that I have introduced a little too much
of the _slang_; but I am anxious to render myself perfectly
intelligible to all parties. Half the world are _up_ to it; and it is
my intention to make the other half _down_ to it. LIFE IN LONDON
demands this sort of demonstration. A kind of _cant_ phraseology is
current from one end of the Metropolis to the other: indeed, even in
the time of Lord Chesterfield, he complained of it. In some females of
the highest rank, it is as strongly marked, as in _dingy_
draggled-tail SALL, who is compelled to dispose of a few sprats to
turn an honest penny: and while the latter, in smacking her lips,
talks of her _prime jackey_, an _out-and-out_ concern, a _bit of good
truth_, &c., the former, in her dislikes, tossing her head, observes,
it was _shocking_, _quite a bore_, _beastly, stuff_, &c. The Duchess,
at an Opera, informs the Countess of a ‘_row_’ which occurred on the
last evening with as much _sang-froid_, as CARROTTY POLL mentions to a
_Costardmonger_ the _lark_ she was engaged in, at a gin-spinner’s,
and, in being turned out of the _panny_, got her _ogles_ taken
_measure_ of for a _suit of mourning_. Therefore, some allowance must
be made for an author who is compelled to write under a subdued tone
of expression--in order to keep his promise made to the public in the
PROSPECTUS issued by him prior to the publication of the work. In fact
in many instances, the language of real Life is so very strong,
coarse, and even disgusting, that, in consequence of keeping the above
object in view, the points of many a rich scene are in great danger of
being nearly frittered away; nay, of being almost reduced to tameness
and insipidity. My ingenious friends, ROBERT and GEORGE CRUIKSHANK,
whose talents in representing “the living manners as they rise” stand
unrivalled in this peculiar line, feel as strongly impressed with the
value of _delicacy_ as I do. But if some of the plates should appear
rather _warm_, the purchaser of ‘LIFE IN LONDON’ may feel assured,
that nothing is added to them tending to _excite_, but, on the
contrary, they have most anxiously, on all occasions, given the
preference rather to ‘_extenuate_’ than to ‘set down aught in malice.’
All the Plates are the exact representations, as they occurred of the
various classes of society.”
* * * * *
The Prospectus alluded to at page xi., was after the following form.
--“The grand object of this Work is an attempt to portray what is
termed ‘SEEING LIFE’ in all its various bearings upon Society; from
the _high mettled_ CORINTHIAN of St. James’ _swaddled_ in luxury, down
to the _needy Flue-Faker_ of Wapping, _born without a shirt_, and
destitute of a _bit of scran_ to allay his piteous cravings. ‘LIFE IN
LONDON’ then, is the sport in view; and provided the _Chase_ is turned
to good account. ‘SEEING LIFE’ will be found to have its _advantages_.
No leaning upon the elbows is necessary to _imagine scenes_, after the
manner of the ‘Mysteries of Udolpho,’ neither has it been deemed
expedient to have a fairy stationed upon a Lake, during the thunder
and lightning of some dreadful night, in order to work up the mind of
the Writer to depict what he has seen, with a touch of the terrific.
“The DESIGNS have been sketched, as they occurred, and the Artists, in
conjunction with the Writer, have booked the ‘GLOWING SCENE, _fraught
with fun, gaiety, style_, anecdote, _and character_,’ at the moment it
presented itself, and which, if once lost sight of, perhaps, could
never have been retraced;--instead of trusting to their _recollection_
at an after period, which has too often been the cause of giving a
sort of _insipidity_ and _dulness_, characterizing ‘STILL’ instead of
the fire and animation that hovers over ‘_Real_’ LIFE.
“It will, also, be found that ‘JERRY’ had higher objects in view, than
_breaking a Watchman’s lantern_, and agitating a _tinkler_ to _queer_
the _Roosters_, or, that his energies and talents existed _only_ in a
Row. It is not necessary, however, to dilate on the merits of a Work
that affords such an inexhaustible scope, as ‘Life in London;’
neither, perhaps, is it too much to conclude, that it will be a
production, at which the GRAVE may smile, the GAY feel delight, the
COMICAL laugh heartily, and the PATHETIC have occasion for a wipe. The
MODEST it is trusted, will not have occasion to turn aside with
disgust, nor the MORALIST to shut the book offended. The CORINTHIANS
likewise, will have no occasion to be ashamed to acknowledge ‘TOM’ as
one of their party; the UNIVERSITIES not the slightest complaint to
_expel_, or even _rusticate_ ‘BOB LOGIC,’ nor the large Family of the
HAWTHORNS to disown--poor JERRY, for his SPREES and RAMBLES in the
METROPOLIS.”
* * * * *
During the periodic publication of LIFE IN LONDON it was generally
supposed that the character-parts! of TOM, JERRY and LOGIC, were portraits
of particular individuals, and there was much speculation and ink-slinging
in respect to “_Who is Who?_” In the House of Lords it was whispered that
the gallant and daring TOM represented his Grace the Duke of Wellington;
JERRY, his Grace the Duke of Buckingham; and LOGIC, no less a personage
than the Lord Chancellor. In the House of Commons it was said that TOM was
intended for that worthy legal bibliophile, Mr. Butterworth, the pious
member for Coventry; that Mr. Martin of Galway, pleaded guilty to JERRY;
and the acute and knowing Mr. Hume sat for the all-awake leary LOGIC. On
the other hand it was positively asserted at the West-end that TOM
_type-ified_ the elegant and spirited Colonel Berkeley; that the
unsophisticated hopeful sprig of rurality, JERRY, was drawn, _ad vivum_,
from Mr. Pea-Green Hayne,[11] while LOGIC absolutely personated that
notorious _modern Greek scholar_, the _learned, larking, laconic, Parson
Colton_.[12]
In the City, _per contra_, it was _currently reported on ’Change_ that
TOM, from his love of fun, and knowledge of good living, was the _locum
tenens_ of that _great_ and _learned_ man, and most facetious Banking
Baronet, Sir William--more succinctly and familiarly _Billy_--Curtis, of
the “_three R.’s_” notoriety;[13]--that JERRY was the picture of Mr.
_Treble_, _X_ Sheriff Parkins; and that LOGIC was an outline of Mr.
Alderman Wood. But, Mr. W. T. Moncrieff states that he can, however,
safely assert that all these suppositions are totally unfounded, as the
characters of TOM, JERRY and LOGIC, were autobiographical sketches of the
_artists_ to whom they severally originally owe their being. The talented,
spirited George Cruikshank was himself, in all the better points, the
TOM--of the Corinthian Order; he is so admirably delineated; his very
clever brother Isaac Robert, then perhaps less experienced, condescended
to pass for JERRY, and the _downey_ Pierce Egan--“‘None but himself can be
his parallel’[14]--was his own LOGIC--the Oxonian in green
specs--gig-lamps!” Mr. Moncrieff continues--“they having _tria juncta in
uno_ produced the admirable foundation of this Piece.[15] May they
speedily furnish the public with some more of their _larks_, _sprees_ and
_rambles_--the world will thank them for the gift.”
It is now a matter of history that the Brothers Cruikshank, first designed
and engraved the Plates for the original Edition of LIFE IN LONDON, and,
then, Pierce Egan wrote the letter-press up to them from month to month to
the completion of the work in July, 1821.
To this order of things there was, however, one exception, namely in
December, 1820,--“’twas Christmas, merry Christmas time, when ‘Man being
reasonable, must get drunk,’” and Pierce Egan, admitted that he got too
much _Daffy_ aboard the over night, and that on waking up late the next
morning he found his pocket-book containing his _Notes!_ _i.e._, “copy”
absent without leave. He therefore published at page 275 as follows:--
TO THE SUBSCRIBERS TO “LIFE IN LONDON.”
THE AUTHOR IN DISTRESS![16]
He jests at a “LARK” that never felt a SCRATCH!
My numerous and dearest Friends:--
Of necessity, I am compelled to state to you, that having accepted an
invitation from BOB LOGIC, about three weeks since, to spend an
evening with him and a few of his _Swell Pals_, at the _Albany_, I
pleaded business, and that the “_First of the Month_” must come. “I
know it,” replied BOB, “but it shall be a _sober_ set-out: PIERCE, you
shall _tipple_ as you like.” In consequence of BOB’S _plausibility_, I
was _gammoned_ to be one of the _squad_. Mixed liquors and _steamers_
were the order of the _darkey_. But he praised so highly a cargo of
_daffy_, which he had just received from the NONPAREIL[17] that
_Daffy_ and _water_ was the preferred _suit_. After a glass or two had
been _sluiced_ over the _ivories_ of the party, which made some of
them begin loudly to _chaff_, BOB gave the _wink_ to his _slavey_,
observing that more hot water was wanted. A large kettle, boiling at
the spout, was speedily introduced, but instead of _water_ read
_boiling Daffy_. The assumed gravity of BOB’S _mug_ upon playing off
this _trick_ was quite a treat, but I am happy to say _Crooky
booked_[18] it. “Come, gents,” said BOB, “please yourselves, here is
plenty of water, now mix away.” It had the desired effect. The glass
was pushed about so quickly; that the “First of the Month” was soon
_forgotten_, and we kept it up till very long after the REGULARS had
been _tucked_ up in their _dabs_, and only the _Roosters_ and the
“_Peep-o’-Day-Boys_” were out on the prowl for a _spree_. At length a
_move_ was made, but not a _rattler_ was to be had. BOB and the party,
_chaffing_, proposed to see the _Author_ safe to his _sky-parlour_.
The boys were _primed_ for anything. Upon turning the corner of
_Sydney’s Alley_, into Leicester-Fields,[19] we were assailed by some
_trouble customers_, and a _turn-up_ was the result (as the Plate[20]
most accurately represents). BOB got a _stinker_, and poor I received
a _chancery-suit_ upon the _nob_. How I reached the _upper-story_, I
know not; but, on waking late in the day, I found my pocket-book was
absent--without leave. I was in great grief at its loss, not on
account of the _blunt_ it contained--much worse--the _notes_ in it
were dearer than gold to me. The account of JERRY’S introduction to
the Marchioness of Diamonds, the Duchess of Hearts, Lady Wanton, Dick
Trifle, Bill Dash, &c., &c., on his appearance in Rotten Row with the
CORINTHIAN, _booked_ on the spot. I was in a complete _funk_. I
immediately went to _sartain persons_, and communicated my loss;
_how_, _where_, and _when_; and I was consoled, that, if it were safe,
PIERCE EGAN should have it. Day after day passed, and no account of
it;--I gave it up for lost, and scratched my _moppery_, again and
_again_, but could not recollect _accurately_, the substance of my
notes. I was sorry for myself;--I was sorry for the public. However,
on Friday morning last, taking a _turn_ into Paternoster Row, my
friend Jones[21] smiling, said he had got the Book:--as he is fond of
a bit of _gig_, I thought he was in _fun_,--but, on handing it over to
me, with the following letter, my _peepers_ twinkled again with
delight.
_To the care of Mr. Jones, for_ P. EGAN.
Sir,--You see as how I have sent that ere _Litter_.[22] Pocket-Book,
which so much _row_ has been _kicked_ up about amongst us. Vy it an’t
vorth a single _tonic_,[23] _Who’s_ to understand it? vy it’s full of
pot-hooks and hangers[24]--and not a _screen_[25] in it. You are
determined nobody shall _nose_ your _idears_. If your name had not
been _chaunted_ in it, it would have been _dinged_ into the _dunagan_.
But remember, no _conking_.
From yours, &c.,
TIM HUSTLE.
Dec. 20, 1820.
The joy I felt on recovering my Pocket-Book I cannot communicate. The
return of it, however, arrived too late to prevent the following:--
APOLOGY.
In consequence of BOB LOGIC’S _Daffy_, only one sheet of Letter Press
accompanies the Plates of No. 5; but, to make up for this unavoidable
deficiency, THREE SHEETS of Letter Press will be given in No. 6.
I therefore trust, under the circumstances of the case, a liberal
allowance will be made, when it is recollected that such RAMBLES and
SPREES FIRST gave the Author an idea of detailing some of the “_rich
scenes_” which are only to be found in
LIFE IN LONDON.
Wishing health and happiness, united with the compliments of the
season, to all my numerous Subscribers,
I remain,
Your much obliged and humble servant,
P. EGAN.
_Sky-Parlour,
January 1, 1821._
In CHAPTER XIV. of the original LIFE IN LONDON, there is such a graphic
description of TOM, JERRY and LOGIC--the _Oxonian_; making a “_jolly_
NIGHT _of it_” at the once famed Vauxhall Gardens: written in so truly a
_Piercy Egania!!!_ style that we are tempted to reproduce it in its
entirety for the benefit of our readers, together with a few _Notes_ of
our own to follow.
----“I perceive,” said TOM, “on perusing the newspaper, Vauxhall
Gardens are open, and therefore, JERRY, to-night we will pay them a
visit.” “It is an extraordinary place, indeed,” replied HAWTHORN, “if
my _Old Dad_ and _Mam_ have not exaggerated its grandeur; but, as the
_old people_ have not been used to _sights_, it may account for their
astonishment and rapture in speaking about them.” “I am not surprised
at that,” answered TOM, smiling; “in my humble opinion, it has not its
equal in the world. There is nothing like it in Paris. PLEASURE holds
her court at _Vauxhall_. In those gay regions, you are liable to
jostle against the _gods_ and _goddesses_--BACCHUS you will find
frequently at your elbow--VENUS and the _Graces_ passing and
repassing, yet condescendingly _smiling_ upon you--MOMUS surrounded by
fun and laughter--TERPSICHORE attending upon your _steps_--and APOLLO
winding up the whole with the most pleasing harmony.” “NO LETHE, then
is necessary at Vauxhall, I suppose,” said JERRY, ironically,
interrupting TOM. “Yes, my dear COZ,” answered the CORINTHIAN. “It
might be inferred that nearly, if not all the visitors, upon entering
Vauxhall Gardens, had drank of the waters of LETHE, for everything
else seems to be _forgotten_ on joining this enchanting scene:
however, I can speak for myself in this respect.” “Excellently well
defined, TOM,” replied LOGIC. “To me, Vauxhall is the festival of LOVE
and HARMONY, and produces a most happy mixture of society. There is no
_precision_ about it, and every person can be _accommodated_, however
_substantial_, or _light_ and _airy_ their _palates_. If _eating_, my
dear JERRY, is the object in view, you will perceive tables laid out
in every box, and the order is only wanted by the waiter instantly to
gratify the appetite. If _drinking_, the _punch_ is so prime, and
immediately follows the call, that it will soon make you as lively as
a harlequin. If inclined to _waltz_ or to _reel_, partners can be
procured without the formality of a master of the ceremonies. If you
are fond of _singing_, the notes of that ever-green, MRS. BLAND, never
fail to touch the heart. If attached to _music_, the able performers
in the orchestra, the Pandean minstrels, and regimental bands, in
various parts of the gardens, prove quite a treat. If _promenading_ is
your _forte_, you will find illuminated walks of the most interesting
and animated description. Numerous persons of the highest quality:
myriads of lovely females, with gaiety beaming upon every countenance;
and the pleasure of meeting with old friends and acquaintances, render
the _tout ensemble_ impressively elegant and fascinating. Even the
_connoisseur_ in paintings may find subjects at Vauxhall too rich to
be passed over in haste. In short, there is such an endless variety of
amusements, in rapid succession, from the song to the dance--from
refreshment to the glass--from the cascade to the fireworks, that time
positively flies in these Gardens. _Reflection_ is not admitted; and
the _senses_ are all upon the alert. You may be as _extravagant_ as
you please, or you need not spend a single _farthing_, if economy is
your object, and not be found fault with neither. If you like it so
best,” continued the _Oxonian_, smiling, “you may be as gay as a
dancing-master, and enter into all the fun and frolic by which you are
surrounded; or you can be as _decorous_ as a parson in his pulpit, and
be nothing more than a common observer. But if _enjoyment_ is your
_motto_, you may make the most of an evening in these Gardens more
than at any other place in the Metropolis. It is all free and
easy--stay as long as you like, and depart when you think proper.”
“Your description is so flattering,” replied JERRY, “that I do not
care how soon the time arrives for us to start.” LOGIC proposed a “bit
of a stroll,” in order to get rid of an hour or two, which was
immediately accepted by TOM and JERRY. A _turn_ or two in Bond
Street--a _stroll_ through Piccadilly--a “_look in_” at
Tattersall’s--a _ramble_ through Pall Mall--and a _strut_ on the
_Corinthian Path_, fully occupied the time of our heroes till the hour
for dinner arrived, when a few glasses of TOM’S rich wines soon put
them on the _qui vive_; VAUXHALL was then the object in view, and the
TRIO started, bent upon enjoying all the pleasures which this place so
amply affords to its visitors.
“It is really delightful,” exclaimed JERRY, on his entering the
Gardens, during the first act of the concert; “I was, on my first
visit, enraptured with Sydney Gardens, at Bath; but, I must confess,
that the brilliancy of this scene is so superior that it appears to me
like a NEW WORLD, and you have not, my friends, _overrated_ it.”
HAWTHORN, under the guidance of his _pals_, was not long in exploring
the illuminated walks, the rotunda, and everything belonging to this
fashionable place of resort. Our hero was in high spirits; LOGIC was
also _ripe_ for a _spree_; and the CORINTHIAN so agreeable in
disposition, that he made known to his two friends he was ready to
_accommodate_ them in any proposition they might feel inclined to
make. JERRY expressed himself much pleased with the arrangement and
performance of the concert; and he likewise observed, the music of the
songs reflected considerable credit on the talents of the
composer.[26] On passing through the rooms attached to the rotunda, in
which the paintings of _Hogarth_ and _Hayman_[27] are exhibited, and
also the portraits of the late King and Queen, on their coming to the
throne, JERRY, with a smile, retorted upon LOGIC, “that those
paintings certainly could not be passed over in haste, if the
proprietors of the _Gardens_ thought _catalogues_ were not necessary,
it would, however, prove much more pleasing to the visitors if a few
lines were painted under them, by way of _explanation_.” “I must agree
with your remarks,” replied LOGIC; “no visitor ought to be suffered to
remain in the _dark_ on any subject amidst such a blaze of
illumination. Never mind criticising any more about these pictures;
let us retire to a nice little box, for I assure you my _ogles_ have
feasted enough, and I stand in need of much more substantial
refreshment. Some burnt-wine, _ham shavings_,[28] chickens, sherry,
and a lively drop of arrack-punch, my boys, will enable us to finish
the evening like _trumps_.” “A good proposition,” cried TOM. “It is,”
said JERRY; “and I second it.” The TRIO immediately left the _gay_
scene, for a short period, to partake of all the _choice_ articles
which the larder could produce to please their palates. The _bottle_
was not suffered to stand still by our heroes, and the _punch_ also
moved off with great facility, till the lively military band invited
them once more to join the merry dance, when LOGIC, full of fun and
laughter, said, “he was now able to _reel_ with any lady or gentleman
in the Gardens.” “Yes,” replied TOM, laughing heartily, “I’ll back you
on that score, BOB; but not to _dance_.” The elegant appearance and
address of the CORINTHIAN soon procured him lots of dashing partners:
JERRY was not behind his COZ in that respect; and the agility both our
heroes displayed on the “light fantastic toe” attracted numerous
_gazers_. LOGIC, who was for “pushing along, keep moving,” as he
termed it, was interrupted in his pursuit by a _jack-o’-dandy_ hero,
and who also quizzed the _Oxonian_ with the appellation of “_Old
Barnacles_.” Some sharp words passed in reply from LOGIC, when the
_dandy_, who was rather _snuffy_, as well as impudent, put himself
into a posture of defence, crying out, “Come on my fine _fealow_, I’ll
soon spoil your daylights.” The _Oxonian_ immediately gave the _dandy_
so severe a blow on his head that he measured his length on the ground
like a log of wood: and, on LOGIC perceiving the fallen _dandy_ quite
terrified, he assumed to be in a most violent rage, and addressing two
of the sisterhood near him, with “My dears, if you do not hold my
arms, I am so tremendous a fellow, I shall certainly do him a
mischief.” This piece of bombast had the desired effect; and the
_dandy_, amidst roars of laughter, endeavoured to get up and run away;
but LOGIC held him, and said, “That was the way he took to _correct_
fellows who addressed him improperly; and, to prevent mistakes in
future, he advised him to remember Mr. _Green Specs_.” The _Oxonian_,
anxious to keep up the fun, pretended, all of a sudden, to be in great
agony, and, putting up his hand to his head, exclaimed, in a piteous
tone, “I have got the worst of it after all; I have lost an eye.” “I
hope not,” said a lady, a little advanced in years, who was an
observer of the scene, apparently much grieved at his misfortune.
“Never mind, my love,” replied LOGIC; “it is only a _green_ one; I can
get another,” showing his spectacles, with one of his glasses out. BOB
now _reeled_ off, receiving the applause of the spectators as a very
funny fellow. On the conclusion of the dance, TOM and JERRY traversed
the Gardens, and enjoyed themselves to the utmost extent in all the
variety they afforded, till day-light had long given them the hint it
was time to think of home. LOGIC, as upon former occasions, was not to
be found; and the CORINTHIAN and his COZ were compelled to leave
Vauxhall without him.
[Illustration]
Under the Especial Patronage of HIS MAJESTY.
ROYAL GARDENS, VAUXHALL.--The Proprietors respectfully beg leave to
acquaint the Public that these Gardens having been newly and fancifully
decorated, are now open for the SEASON, every Monday, Wednesday, and
Friday Evenings. TO-MORROW, June 11, Wednesday and Friday Evenings next, a
Vaudeville, written by Mr. Moncrieffe, called ACTORS’ AL FRESCO; or, the
Play in the Pleasure Grounds. With principally original Music composed by
Messrs. T. Cooke, Blewitt, and Horn. Sir Udolph Honeysuckle, Mr. S.
Bennett; Orlando Saville, Mr. Horn; Signor Patrick O’Diddle, Mr.
Fitzwilliam; Jeremy Crambo, Mr. Woulds; Miss Frances Honeysuckle, Miss
Graddon; Miss Penelope Honeysuckle, Miss Pearce; Sally Larkspur, Mrs.
Fitzwilliam; Villagers, &c., &c.--The Vaudeville will begin at a quarter
past eight.--Author and Stage Manager, Mr. Moncrieffe.
An Entirely NEW DIVERTISEMENT (composed by Mr. Ridgway), for which a
numerous Corps de Ballet is engaged.
In the course of the Evening, Mr. BLACKMORE will perform his astonishing
Feats on the Slack Rope.
The FIRE-WORKS, with the wonderful Ascent on the Rope, by BLACKMORE, will
be exhibited with their usual splendour, by those celebrated Artists,
SOUTHBY and D’ERNST.
The CONCERT, which has ever formed a prominent feature, will be performed
as heretofore, in the original and much admired Orchestra, in the open
Gardens; and will consist of entirely new Songs, Duets, Glees, &c.,
composed by Cooke, Blewitt, and Horn, and sung by Messrs. Woulds, Horn,
Benson, Tinney, and Fitzwilliam, Miss Graddon, Mrs. Austin, and Mrs.
Fitzwilliam.
The Military and Scotch Bands, under the direction of Mr. Hopkins will be
in attendance.--Director and Leader of the Music, Mr. T. Cooke; Composers,
Messrs. T. Cooke, Blewitt, and Horn.
The Scenery and Decorations by Messrs. Thorn, Cox, and Assistants.
Mechanists, Messrs. Shaw, Lowe, &c.
A Spectacle of an extraordinary nature, on a scale of magnitude never yet
attempted in any Country, is in preparation, and will speedily be
announced.--Doors open at Seven.--Admission, 4s.
_VAUXHALL._
Vauxhall Gardens--the gay and favourite spot of metropolitan amusement,
and of fashionable resort in the summer season--commenced their
attractions to the public on Monday. The weather was highly favourable.
The entertainments of the evening commenced with a _petit_ piece _Actors’
Al Fresco; or, The Play in The Pleasure Grounds_, by Mr. Moncrieffe. It
was received favourably, though certainly not possessing such claims to
public favour as one might expect from the popular author of _Tom and
Jerry, Don Giovanni, &c._ The Concert consisted of entirely new songs,
duets, glees, &c., composed by Horn, Cooke, and Blewitt; one of the
songs--a comic one--the composition of Blewitt, possessed more merit, both
as to the words and the music, than compositions for a temporary occasion,
like the present, usually do. The space afforded to the public for a view
of the fire-works was more limited than hitherto. This contracted
allowance of accommodation, we understand, is attributable to arrangements
which are making to celebrate the approaching anniversary of the Battle of
Waterloo, on a scale of unequalled brilliancy and splendour. The boxes and
several compartments in the gardens are painted in a pleasing light
colour--a mixture of green and white--which imparts a freshness and rural
appearance to the scene, far more agreeable to the eye than the gaudy
tints which were adopted in the previous decorations.--_Bell’s Life in
London._
[Illustration]
GRAND CORONATION FETE!
UNDER THE SPECIAL PATRONAGE OF HIS MAJESTY.
ROYAL GARDENS, VAUXHALL.--The Proprietors respectfully acquaint the
Public, that it is their intention to celebrate this Anniversary
TO-MORROW, Monday, 21st July, 1828, in a style very superior indeed to any
Gala it has ever been in their power of producing, as they are enabled to
embrace all the distinguished characteristics of the Spanish Fete, in
which the Royal, Noble, and distinguished Visitors were so highly
delighted on the 8th instant. The ANNIVERSARY of the CORONATION of His
MAJESTY may therefore be termed a Superb Repetition of the brilliant
Illuminations, extensive and novel Decorations, &c., &c., of that night;
and the Public are assured, that the most splendid preparations are in
progress, to entertain, delight, and surprise the Visitors. The Gardens
will be made one entire scene of light, by every avenue and walk
exhibiting illuminated Ornaments, Mottoes, &c., &c., in variegated Lamps
and Transparencies; and the following is a slight Programme of the Night’s
Amusements:--
THE HYDROPYRIC EXHIBITION, which increases nightly in the favour of the
Public, will be performed with all its numerous cascades of coloured fire
and variegated water.
A NEW VAUDEVILLE, in the Rotunda Theatre. The Songs, Duets, &c., adapted
to familiar Airs; previously to which Master Charles will perform a Solo
on the Violin.
RAMO SAMEE, the wonderful Indian Juggler, will delight the Company with
his surprising performances with Knives, Balls, Pyramids, &c., &c.
A SUPERB DISPLAY of FIRE-WORKS will take place immediately after the
Concert. The Proprietors pride themselves much upon the universal
approbation and delight afforded by the displays of Fire-Works at
Vauxhall, and which can be witnessed at no other place of amusement in the
kingdom; and they pledge themselves that the Fire-Works of this Evening
shall be of the very first character. The Artist has directions
(regardless of expense) to produce the most splendid display.
Under the especial Patronage of HIS MAJESTY.
ROYAL GARDENS, VAUXHALL.--TO-MORROW, June 29, Wednesday, July 1, Friday
July 3, will be presented, in the Rotunda, an entirely New Vaudeville,
called
A DAY UP THE RIVER,
With New Music, composed by Mr. T. Cooke and Mr. Blewitt. The characters
by Messrs. T. Cooke, Weekes, G. Smith, Robinson, W. H. Williams; Miss P.
Horton, and Miss Helme.
A CONCERT,
In the open Orchestra, in which several New songs will be introduced for
the first time.
A New Pantomime (first time), called
THE YELLOW DWARF; or Harlequin Knight of the Lion.
Under the direction of Mons. Hullin.
Mr. GREY, having been honoured every Evening with the most unbounded
applause, will continue to exhibit his unrivalled
FANTOCCINI.
The Amusements will terminate with a display of
FIRE-WORKS
Towards the close of which will be exhibited an HYDROPYRIC TEMPLE, from
which will issue a Grand Discharge of Fire, interspersed with Waterfalls,
Cascades, Jets d’Eaux, &c.
Admission for the Season and Nightly Cards may be had at 23, Ludgate-hill;
141, Fleet-street; 8, Charing-cross; 146, Oxford-street; and at the
Gardens.
Books, descriptive of the Amusements and Songs of the Opera and Concert,
to be had in the Gardens only.
The Gardens are opened every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Parties desirous of Dining in the Gardens can be accommodated at or after
Six o’clock.
Doors open at Seven.--Admission 4s.
Under the especial Patronage of HIS MAJESTY.
ROYAL GARDENS, VAUXHALL.--The Proprietors respectfully acquaint the
Public, That these GARDENS WILL OPEN for the SEASON TO-MORROW, Monday,
June 1, and will continue open during the Summer, every Monday, Wednesday
and Friday; and they have the pleasure of announcing that they have
succeeded in obtaining for a few Nights the powerful aid of Miss Fanny
Ayton, Mesdames, Castelli and De Angioli, Signor Torri, Guiberlel, De
Angiolli, and Pelegrini, to sing in
ITALIAN OPERA BUFFA.
These performers will have the honour of appearing on the first night, in
Rossini’s celebrated Opera of Il Barbiere di Seviglia, which will be given
in the Rotunda Theatre. The Musical Department under the direction of Mr.
T. Cooke; Conductor Mr. Blewitt.
A CONCERT,
As heretofore, in the original Orchestra in the open Gardens, consisting
of New Songs, Duets, &c., to be sung by Mr. W. H. Williams, Mr. Robinson,
Mr. G. Smith, and Mr. Weekes (from the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane), Miss P.
Horton (Pupil of Mr. Blewitt), and Miss Helme.
An entire new COMIC BALLET will be performed in the open Theatre, under
the direction of Mons. Hullin, called
POLICHINEL VAMPIRE.
The Dancers principally from the Opera Theatre, assisted by numerous corps
de ballet. Leader of the Ballet, Mr. R. Hughes.
The Scenery, with various paintings and many New Cosmoramas, dispersed
about the Gardens, by Mr. Cocks and Assistants. The amusements will
terminate with a display of
FIRE-WORKS.
Towards the close of which will be exhibited an HYDROPYRIC TEMPLE, from
which will issue a Grand Discharge of Fire, interspersed with Waterfalls,
Cascades, Jets d’Eaux, &c. The Fire-Works’ Artists are Mr. Southby and Mr.
D’Ernst, whose inimitable displays have given such unmixed satisfaction
for several successive Seasons.--The Military and Scotch Bands under the
direction of Mr. Hopkins.
Admission for the Season and Nightly Cards may be had at 23, Ludgate-hill;
141, Fleet-street; 148, Oxford-street; and at the Gardens.
Books, descriptive of the Amusements and Songs of the Opera and Concerts,
to be had in the Gardens only.
The Italian Opera will begin at Ten o’clock. Doors open at
Seven.--Admission, 4s.
[Illustration]
UNDER THE ESPECIAL PATRONAGE OF HIS MAJESTY.
ROYAL GARDENS, VAUXHALL.--OPEN EVERY MONDAY, WEDNESDAY, and
FRIDAY.--TO-MORROW (Monday), 14th July, a variety Entertainment will be
given, consisting of an entirely New Vaudeville, entitled SHE WOULD IF SHE
COULD. Adapted to favourite and familiar Airs. Characters by Mr. T. Cooke,
Mr. S. Bennett, Mr W. H. Williams, Miss Knight, Miss Helme, and Mrs.
Younge, &c., &c., &c.--The New Pantomime, called HARLEQUIN IN THE
BOTTLE.--A Concert in the open Orchestra. The Dioramic Pictures,
Cosmoramas, and Spectre Grove. The unrivalled Performances of the
celebrated CHING LAURO.--To conclude with the GRAND NOVELTY of the
HYDROPYRIC EXHIBITION, which is received with the most tumultuous marks of
approbation, forming a display of Water and Fire-Works never before
attempted in any country. The Military and Scotch Bands as usual.--Doors
open at Seven.--Admission, 4s.--Books, with all the particulars of the
Performance, in the Rotunda Theatre, Ballet, open Orchestra, &c., &c., to
be had only in the Gardens.--Beware of spurious Pamphlets, pressed upon
the Public at the entrance.
UNDER THE ESPECIAL PATRONAGE OF HIS MAJESTY.
ROYAL GARDENS, VAUXHALL.--For a FEW NIGHTS LONGER.--The Proprietors
respectfully inform the Public, that in consequence of the decided
favourable state of the Weather, the Gardens will be Open TO-MORROW,
Wednesday and Friday, when the UNION GALA will be repeated with (if
possible) increased splendour and effect. The whole of the Illuminations,
Decorations, Mottoes, &c., which afforded so much delight last Evening,
will be again exhibited, and a continual succession of Entertainments take
place from the time the doors open, including the amusing LOTTERY
PRESENTS.--Doors open at Seven. Admission, 4s.
SURREY THEATRE.--Under the direction of Mr. ELLISTON, TO-MORROW, June 16,
will be presented THE MILLER’S MAID. Giles, Mr. Rayner; Phoebe, Mrs.
Fitzwilliam. With DIE NACHTIGAL UND DER RABE. And THE INCHCAPE BELL. Hans
Hattock, Mr. Osbaldiston; Guy Ruthven, Mr. Rayner.--Tuesday, Inkle and
Yarico. With Die Nachtigal und Der Rabe. And Giovanni in
London.--Wednesday, 1st time at this Theatre, the extravaganza of Tom and
Jerry; or, Life in London. After which Master Burns will appear (for the
1st time) in six characters in A Day after the Fair. With the Inchcape
Bell.--Thursday, Tom and Jerry. With Die Nachtigal und Der Rabe. And The
Inchcape Bell.--Friday, Tom and Jerry. With Die Nachtigal und Der Rabe.
And The Inchcape Bell.--Saturday, Tom and Jerry With Die Nachtigal und Der
Rabe. And Love’s Frailties.
[Illustration]
GRAND MASQUERADE, Argyll Rooms, first of the Season.--The brilliant éclat
which has lately attended this peculiar and popular species of
entertainment, urges as early re-commencement of such festive gaieties,
and in compliance with the general wish, TO-MORROW, Monday, November 30,
is appointed for the first GRAND FESTA DI BALLO. The Splendid Suite of
Rooms will be newly Embellished, Decorated, and Brilliantly Illuminated.
LITOLF and ADAMS’ BAND, with the New Massaroni Quadrilles! arranged from
the popular Music of “The Brigand,” now performing with great success at
the Theatre Royal, Drury-lane, will be stationed in the Grand Ball Room,
newly decorated as LE SALON DE MARS! The Emblematic Devices, Banners,
Trophies, &c., &c., by the most Eminent Artists.
Numerous Professional Dancers, from the Italian Opera House, and Theatres
Royal, are Expressly Engaged, to enliven the scene with a constant
succession of French, English, Italian, Irish, German and Scotch, Dances,
particularly THE GALLOPADE! which will be introduced immediately after
Supper.
The Court of Momus will be furnished with an Effective Band for Country
Dances! and occasionally enlivened with the Eccentric Efforts of numerous
Artists, expressly engaged for this SPLENDID CARNIVAL.
“All kinds of dresses splendid and fantastical;
Masks of all times and nations, Turks and Jews,
Mimes, Harlequins and Clowns, with feats gymnastical;
Greeks, Romans, Yankeedoodles and Hindoos.”--Lord Byron.
AN ELEGANT SUPPER will be provided under the superintendence of Mr.
Phillips, of Steyne House, Brighton, and Oxford-street, London; and the
Room will be opened at One o’Clock--to enliven which PROFESSIONAL GLEE
SINGERS will be engaged, and at intervals a GRAND MILITARY BAND will
perform some of the most favourite Overtures from La Muette de Portici,
Siège de Corinth, Crociato in Egitto, &c., &c.
[Illustration: _CHARLES WRIGHT’S Apparition appearing to an
Hypochondriac._]
Dans l’age heureux de la folie
En fêtes, dissipant nos jours.
Nous suivons la route embellie,
Par les Muses et les Amours.
Au refrein des Tambourins,
Au tic tac des Castignettes,
Au jug jug du jus divin,
Amis, chassons le chagrin
Lorsque le Champagne.
Fait eu s’echappant Pan! Pan!
Ce doux bruit me gagne
L’ame et le tympane.
Further particulars will be duly announced.--Masks, Dominoes, Character
and Fancy Dresses, to be had at the Masquerade Warehouse, Opera Colonade,
Haymarket.
Tickets of Admission, One Guinea each; for Supper Tickets, 7s. 6d. each;
and Private Boxes to view the Masquerade without mixing in the Motley
Group, Domino, and Character Tickets, apply to Mr. Charles Wright, next
the King’s Theatre, Opera Colonade, Haymarket.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
DUCROW’S BENEFIT.
ROYAL AMPHITHEATRE (ASTLEY’S).--MR. DUCROW has the honour of announcing
his BENEFIT REPRESENTATION TO-MORROW EVENING, Sept. 7. For the full detail
of the Novelties prepared, it will be necessary to refer to the hand
bills, but the three following are leading features totally new, and have
never been performed, viz.:--BONAPARTE’S PASSAGE OF THE MOUNT ST. BERNARD,
for the Stage; to commence at a Quarter-past Six; and Mr. Ducrow’s two new
Scenes for the Circle, of St. George and the Dragon, with its splendid
Pageant, in honour of the Champion’s brave and puissant deed. With “Make
way for Liberty; or, the Flight of the Saracens.” In addition to these he
will represent the Animated Venetian Statue; or, Living Models of
Antiques; and will appear with Miss Woolford on the Double Tight Rope. The
exercises of the German Rider, Herr Berg, and a variety of other
Entertainments.--To conclude with the Grand Romantic Spectacle of THE
CATARACT OF THE GANGES.--Tickets to be had and places secured at the Box
Office, from Eleven till Four.
To give the present generation of playgoers an insight into the manners
and customs of the so-called “good old days:” and in the “hot youth” of
our great grandfathers--and mothers: when George the Fourth was King of
England: the dramatic version of TOM AND JERRY; OR, LIFE IN LONDON, is
occasionally revived at one or other of the Metropolitan Minor Theatres.
In 1868 Mr. Joseph A. Cave produced with distinguished success Moncrieff’s
Adelphi adaptation, carefully revised at the:--
VICTORIA THEATRE.
It was announced thus:--
The Performance will commence with the Rattling, Rollicking, Rumantic
and Picturesque Drama of every-day Society, in its highest and lowest
phases, written by that celebrated reviewer of Mankind, the late W. T.
Moncrieff, entitled
TOM AND JERRY;
OR,
Life in London Fifty Years Ago!
Squire Hawthorn An Old English Gentleman,
one of the olden time Mr. J. BRADSHAW
Jerry Hawthorn His Nephew, rather verdant,
until brought out Mr. JAMES FAWN
Farmer Cornflower--Mr. MILLER Sir Harry Blood--a Buck--Mr. FASHION
Bill Pointer--an awkward one--Mr. TERRIER Claw--a Lawyer--Mr. J. BAKER
Tom, alias Corinthian Tom--a blood of the
first water-- Mr. J. H. FITZPATRICK
Regular a Tiger, who knows his business Miss HUNT Servant--Mr. ALFREDS
SPORTSMAN’S CABINET,
HAWTHORN HALL.
Life in the Country--the party--preparations for the Departure of
Jerry.
“_Horses sound, dogs healthy, | Earths stopped, and foxes plenty._”
A Country Gentleman’s Idea of London Life.
Tom sets them on the right road--the word pledged--he shall go--one
gone already--who? why, the Village Lawyer--Where? under the Table.
_A Country Lane! Life and Love in a Cottage!_
Jane a blossom of affection Miss HARRIET FARREN
Sue in love with Jerry Miss FLORENCE FARREN
Kate in love with Tom, and resolved
upon reclaiming him Miss LIZZIE GRAY
Tom’s Sanctum in Corinthian Lodge.
Bob, otherwise Dr. Logic--a fly individual, fully acquainted with the
classical language of the Holy Land, or in other words St. Giles’s
Greek Mr. W. H. HARMER
Primefit--a West-end Tailor, in other words, a sufferer--Mr. J. BAKER
Jerry gets an Introduction to Fast Life--Tom’s Advice and Lesson--How
the Trio started for Enjoyment.
BURLINGTON ARCADE.
The Lovers in Ambush--the Note--Tom receives a chaffing from Logic.
Jemmy Green from the City Mr. F. MITCHELL
Mr. Tattersall well known Mr. M. ROBERTS
Cope and Gullum Touters Messrs. BAKER & WARE
Prance an Ostler Mr. ARTHUR
Jockeys, Yorkshire Coves, Black Legs, &c.
A look in at Tattersall’s--Tom and Jerry’s judgment in purchasing a
Prad--how Jemmy Green bought a horse and was taken home and in by it.
HYDE PARK CORNER.
Tom and Jerry express their opinion strongly--the assignation--Tom’s
appointment--Logic improves Jerry’s opinion of Town Education.
LIFE IN THE WEST
(ALMACK’S).
Act 2.
LIFE IN THE EAST
(ALL-MAX).
Dusty Bob Mr. R. H. KITCHEN
Black Sal Mr. T. LAMB
Mr. Mace Mine Host Mr. M. ROBERTS
Rosin a Fiddler Mr. SCRAPE
Mahogany Mary Miss BROWN
Mr. & Mrs. Lillywhite Mr. & Miss BLACK
Bob, Tom and Logic in prime trim--the Treat--Put round the Lush--Dusty
Bob and his Sarah.
Pas de Deux Messrs. R. H. KITCHEN & T. LAMB.
Act 3.
Life amongst the Fancy!
Tom Crib England’s well-known Champion Mr. G. CARTER
Swell Coves, Millers, &c., &c.
Tom and Jerry in a new phase--true admirers of English pluck--a Toast,
“Long Life to Gallant Tom Crib.”
A STREET.
Tim O’Boozle Mr. J. BAKER
Mrs. Tartar Miss ANNETTE VINCENT
“Past Twelve o’clock and a Cloudy Night”--The Bucks revel--Mrs. Tartar
in a fix--Help! Help! Help!
TEMPLE BAR BY NIGHT!
Teddy McLush an Irish Watchman Mr. J. BRADSHAW
Mr. Tartar Constable of the Night Mr. M. ROBERTS
A Row--a rally, and a Rescue--how to box a Watchman--Tom and Jerry get
the best of a Charley--Tom and Jerry in trouble after a spree.
INTERIOR OF ST. DUNSTAN’S WATCHHOUSE.
BACK SLUMS IN THE HOLY LAND.
Mr. Jenkins King of the Cadgers, with a flash Medley Mr. J. BRADSHAW
Billy Waters a well-known character Mr. F. MITCHELL
Little Jemmy a cripple Mr. WEST
Creeping Jack a beggar Mr. SMALLALMS
Ragged Dick a fly one Mr. SHREDS
Dingey Bet Miss NABEM
Soldier Suke Miss LIST
Landlord of the Drum Mr. CHALK
Kate, Sue and Jane in new characters--Tom, Jerry and Logic up to their
larks--the Thieves’ Supper (without cant)--the raid upon the
Sanctuary--a terrific mill--Tom and Jerry in their glory--TABLEAU.
LEICESTER SQUARE.
Real Old Grimaldi Comic Scene.
Clown, Mr. R. H. KITCHEN Pantaloon, Mr. TOM LAMB
Here! Hollo! Now for Fun.
VAUXHALL GARDENS
☞ Magnificently Illuminated for a Fete. ☜
The Recognition--all happy--the Lovers united--grand gallop--end of
Tom and Jerry’s Life in London.
Brilliant Shower of Fire by Professor Wells.
GRAND DENOUEMENT!
In consequence of the great success of the revival of TOM and JERRY at
the VICTORIA THEATRE--where it ran nine weeks: Mr. Conquest, of the
GRECIAN, and Mrs. Lane, of the BRITANNIA THEATRE, directly afterwards
produced a version of the same. A year or two after that Mr. William
Holland, of the SURREY THEATRE, assisted by Mr. J. A. Cave, also
staged it successfully.
In May, 1886, Mr. J. A. Cave re-produced the same at The Elephant and
Castle Theatre, which was set forth thus:--
ELEPHANT & CASTLE THEATRE, S.E.
GRAND THEATRE.
LESSEE AND MANAGER MR. J. A. CAVE.
_Trains, Trams and Buses From all Parts Stop at the Doors._
TOM AND JERRY A BIG SUCCESS;
GRAND REVIVAL OF LIFE IN LONDON 100 YEARS AGO.
Cruikshank’s far-famed Pictures Realised.--Manners and Customs of the
Period.--Old Haunts of London. Life in the East. Life in the
West.--Larks by Day.--Sprees by Night. Betting Cribs.--Sparring
Cribs.--All the Noted Characters in Costumes of the time.--The most
Novel, Picturesque, and Amusing Entertainment in London. See DAILY
TELEGRAPH, GLOBE, MORNING POST, SPORTING LIFE, DISPATCH, LLOYDS, &c.
POWERFUL CAST. ALL THE ORIGINAL SENSATIONAL EFFECTS
_Early Pass Doors open Nightly at 6.30._
SATURDAY, MAY 29TH, 1886, AND NIGHTLY AT 7
TOM AND JERRY;
OR,
LIFE IN LONDON.
ALL THE ORIGINAL MUSIC, SONGS, DUETS, CHORUSES, AND DANCES.
PRODUCED FROM THE ORIGINAL ADELPHI MANUSCRIPT, BY MR. J. A. CAVE.
THE SCENES OF OLD LONDON, &C., BY MR. HEDLEY CHURCHWARD.
To conclude with, for the first time here, an Original Domestic Drama,
of intense interest, entitled THE
WREN BOYS;
OR, THE NIGHT BIRDS OF KERRY.
Introducing the entire Company.
STAGE MANAGER, Mr. George Skinner.
MUSICAL DIRECTOR, Mr. Henri G. French.
Williams & Strahan, Printers, 74, New Cut, Lambeth.
[Illustration]
JESTERS AND PAINTED SCENERY.
Messrs. Hodson, Smart, West, Marks, Fairburn, Park, Skelt, and other
publishers made a rich harvest out of the--“Price 1d. Plain and 2d.
Coloured Characters of TOM AND JERRY; or, Life in London,” together
with miniature stages, and “BOOK OF THE WORDS” for the juvenile
home-performing version of the drama.
How delightful the book, and the pictures!
--oh! the pictures are noble still!--was to the youths of England, and how
eagerly all its promised feasts of pleasure were devoured by them,
Thackeray has told us in his Roundabout Paper, “DE JUVENTURE” in the
_Cornhill Magazine_ for October, 1860.
[Illustration: THE TRUE HISTORY OF TOM & JERRY: OR, _The Day and Night
Scenes_ OF LIFE IN LONDON, BY PIERCE EGAN.]
[Illustration]
Eye Nature’s walk, shoot folly as it flies,
And catch the manners living as they rise.
A man is thirty years old before he has any settled thoughts of his
Fortune: and if it is not completed before fifty; he falls a building in
his old age, and dies by that time his House is in a condition to be
painted and glazed.
HISTORY OF THE
LIFE IN LONDON;
OR, THE
DAY AND NIGHT SCENES
OF TOM AND JERRY.
“Of Life in London, Tom, Jerry and Logic I sing.”
To the Strand then I toddled--the mob was great--
My watch I found gone--pockets undone:
I fretted at first, and rail’d against fate,
For I paid well to see “LIFE IN LONDON.”
In the early part of the year 1820, the British public were informed
through the then existing usual advertising mediums that there was about
to be published, in monthly parts, “PIERCE EGAN’S LIFE IN LONDON; or, the
Day and Night Scenes of Jerry Hawthorn, Esq.; and his elegant friend
Corinthian Tom, accompanied by Bob Logic, the Oxonian, in their Rambles
and Sprees through the Metropolis. Embellished with thirty-six Scenes from
Real Life, designed and etched by I. R. and G. Cruikshank, and enriched
with numerous original Designs on Wood by the same Artists.”
Some time previous to its appearance a great taste had exhibited itself
amongst fashionable bloods for sporting works--books upon the chase, upon
racing, upon boxing, and ‘sport’ generally. The demand soon brought an
excellent supply, and “BOXIANA,” in its own peculiar department, at once
became a great favourite. Artists, too, arose, who devoted all their
powers to hunting subjects, to racing favourites, and pugilistic
encounters. Amongst these the names of Alkén, Dighton, Heath, Brooke,
Rowlandson, &c., became very popular. One day it occurred to the editor of
‘Boxiana’ that if Londoners were so anxious for books about country and
out-of-door sports, why should not Provincials and even Cockneys
themselves be equally anxious to know something of “Life in London?” The
editor of ‘Boxiana’ was Mr. Pierce Egan, who as the literary
representative of sport and high life, had already been introduced to
George IV., the character of the proposed work was mentioned to the King
and his Gracious Majesty seems to have heartily approved of it, for he at
once gave permission for it to be dedicated to himself. The services of
Messrs. George and Robert Cruikshank were secured as illustrators.
And on the 15th July, the first number, price one shilling, was published
by Messrs. Sherwood, Neely, and Jones, of Paternoster Row. This sample, or
first instalment, of the entire work was quite enough for society to
judge by. It took both town and country by storm. It was found to be the
exact thing in literature that the readers of those days wanted. Edition
after edition was called for--and supplied, as fast as the illustrations
could be got away from the small army of women and children who were
colouring them. With the appearance of numbers two and three, the demand
increased, and a revolution in our literature, in our drama, and even in
our nomenclature began to develope itself. All the announcements from
Paternoster Row were of books, great and small, depicting life in London;
dramatists at once turned their attention to the same subject, and
tailors, bootmakers, and hatters, recommended nothing but Corinthian
shapes, and Tom and Jerry patterns.[29]
Immediately Messrs. Sherwood and Co. issued the first shilling number of
Mr. Pierce Egan’s work, out came Jones and Co., of Finsbury Square, with
the following in sixpenny numbers:--
REAL LIFE IN LONDON;
or, The Rambles and Adventures of BOB TALLYHO, Esq., and his Cousin, the
Hon. TOM DASHALL, through the Metropolis. Exhibiting a Living Picture of
Fashionable Characters, Manners, Amusements in High and Low Life, by an
Amateur. Embellished and Illustrated with a Series of Coloured Prints,
Designed and Engraved by Messrs. Heath, Alkén, Dighton, Rowlandson, &c.
As may be readily conceived, the stage soon claimed “Tom and Jerry.” The
first drama founded upon the work was from the pen of Mr. Barrymore, and
thus announced in the bill:--“ROYAL AMPHITHEATRE. Extraordinary Novelty
and Eccentric Production. Monday, September 17, 1821, at half-past six
o’clock precisely, will be presented, never acted, an entirely New,
Whimsical, Local, Melo-Dramatic, Pantomimical Drama, with new scenery,
dresses, and mechanical changes, founded on Pierce Egan’s popular work,
which has lately engrossed the attention of all London, called ‘LIFE IN
LONDON;’ or, Day and Night Scenes of Tom and Jerry, in their Rambles and
Sprees through the Metropolis.” The piece prepared for stage
representation by Mr. W. Barrymore.[30]
“Corinthian Tom, Mr. Gomersal; Jerry Hawthorn, Mr. Jones; and Bob Logic,
Mr. Herring.”
The second dramatic version was written for the Olympic Theatre, by
Charles Dibden, and thus set forth in the bill:--“OLYMPIC THEATRE. On
Monday, November 12, 1821, and following evenings, will be presented a New
Extravaganza of Fun, founded on Pierce Egan’s highly popular work, and
interspersed with a variety of Airs and Graces, called “LIFE IN LONDON.”
“TOM (a Capital of the Corinthian Order) Mr. Baker.
“JERRY HAWTHORN (out of Order, and more of the Composite than Corinthian,
never intended for the Church, though fond of a Steeple-chase). Mr.
Oxberry.
“LOGIC (a Chopping Boy, ‘full of wise saws and modern instances’)., by Mr.
Vale.”
[Illustration: LIFE IN LONDON]
A DESCRIPTION OF THE METROPOLIS
_Written and Set to Music by_
CORINTHIAN TOM.
LONDON TOWN’S a dashing place--For ev’ry thing that’s going,
There’s _fun_ and _gig_ in every face--so natty and so _knowing_.
Where NOVELTY is all the rage--From high to low degree,
Such pretty _lounges_ to engage--Only come and see!:--
What charming sights--On gala nights,
Masquerades--Grand parades,
Famed gas lights--Knowing fights,
RANDALL and CRIBB--Know how to _fib_.
Tothill-fields--Pleasure yields.
The Norwich bull--With antics full.
Plenty of news--All to amuse;
The Monkey “JACCO”--All the crack O!
Ambroghetti’s squall--Match girl’s bawl!
Put on the _gloves_--Playful as doves
Then show your _forte_--At the FIVES’ COURT;
Conjurors rare--At _Bartlemy_ fair;
POLITO’S beasts--See city feasts,
Lord Mayor’s day--Then the play,
Adelphi Theatre--Pretty feature!
Rotton Row--All the Go!
In the Bench--Keep your wench.
When next you roam--Mathew’s “AT HOME!”
Such prime joking--Lots of smoking;
Here all dash on--In the fashion.
CHORUS--Dancing, singing, full of glee,
O London, London town for me!
From ev’ry part the natives run,
To view this spot of land;
All are delighted with the fun,
_Astonish’d_ ’tis so grand!
To Vauxhall haste to see the blaze.
Such variegated lights;
The ladies’ charms are all the gaze--
No _artificial_ sights!:--
Lovely Faces--Full of graces,
Heavenly charms--Create alarms!
Such glances--And dances.
To the sky--See SAQUI fly--
In the blaze--All to amaze.
Cyprians fine--_Kids_ full of wine,
Orchestre grand--Pandean band;
Charming singing--Pleasure bringing;
Great attraction--And satisfaction:
Plenty of _hoaxing_--Strong coaxing;
Beautiful shapes--Beaux and apes,
Prone to quiz--Every phiz!
Dashing glasses--Queering lasses;
Flashy cits--Numerous wits;
Loud talking--Thousands walking:
Rare treating--Numbers eating;
Punch and wine--Every thing prime,
Grand CASCADE--Once displayed;
Duke and groom--In one room;
Here all dash on--In the fashion!
CHORUS--Dancing, singing, full of glee,
O London, London town for me!
And various _fancies_ there display’d,
To please and cheer the mind;
They captivate both man and maid,
All polite and kind,
See fashion driving through each street,
With splendour and renown:
Pedestrians, too, with _shining_ feet;
O, what a charming town!:--
Four-in-hand--Down the Strand!
Funny gigs--With knowing wigs;
BAXTER’S hats--That queer the flats;
Flashy whips--With silver tips,
Leathern breech--Pretty stitch!
High-bred cattle--Tittle tattle,
TATTERSALL sell--Peep into “HELL!”
Full of play--And make a stay;
Hear KEAN speak, GRIMALDI squeak!
Courts of law--Full of jaw;
BROUGHAM plead--MACAULEY read;
And Old Borum--At the Forum;
To Opera prance--See Vestris dance,
At Free and Easy--Full and greasy;
Prime song and catch--The Trotting-match
LONDON CRIES--O rare hot pies!
Sadler’s Wells--In summer tells;
Quick approach--In Hackney-coach;
Take your _Daffy_--All be happy:
And then dash on--In the fashion.
CHORUS--Dancing, singing, full of glee,
O London, London town for me!
Mr. W. T. Moncrieff--one of the most successful and prolific writers of
the day--appeared as the third on the list of dramatists, and it was
announced at the Adelphi Theatre in the following style:--“On Monday, Nov.
26th, 1821, will be presented for the first time, on a scale of
unprecedented extent (having been many weeks in preparation, under the
superintendence of several of the most celebrated Artists, both in the
_Ups and Downs_ of Life, who have all kindly come forward to assist the
Proprietors in their endeavours to render this Piece a complete
out-and-outer), an entirely new Classic, Comic, Operatic, Didactic,
Aristophanic, Localic, Analytic, Panoramic, Camera-Obscura-ic,
Extravaganza Burletta of Fun, Frolic, Fashion, and Flash, in three acts,
called ‘TOM and JERRY; or, LIFE IN LONDON.’ Replete with Prime Chaunts,
Rum Glees, and Kiddy Catches, founded on Pierce Egan’s well-known and
highly popular work of the same name, by a celebrated extravagant erratic
Author. The Music selected and modified by him, from the most eminent
composers, ancient and modern, and every Air furnished with an attendant
train of Graces. The costume and scenery superintended by Mr. I. R.
Cruikshank, from the Drawings by himself and his brother, Mr. George
Cruikshank, the celebrated Artists of the original work.”
TOM AND JERRY;
OR, LIFE IN LONDON.
AN OPERATIC EXTRAVAGANZA
BY W. T. MONCRIEFF.
[Illustration:
HARK! the watchman springs his rattle,
Now the midnight lark’s begun.]
Dramatis Personæ.
_As performed at the Adelphi Theatre._
CORINTHIAN TOM Mr. Wrench.
JERRY HAWTHORN Mr. W. Burrough & Mr. J. Reeve.
LOGIC Mr. Wilkinson.
JEMMY GREEN Mr. Keeley & Mr. Brown.
HON. DICK TRIFLE Mr. Bellamy.
SQUIRE HAWTHORN Mr. Buckingham.
PRIMEFIT Mr. Waylett.
REGULAR Mr. Smith.
TATTERSAL Mr. Philips.
MACE Mr. Maxwell.
BILLY WATERS Mr. Paulo.
LITTLE JEMMY Mr. Cooper.
DUSTY BOB Mr. Walbourn.
KATE (otherwise the HON. MISS TRIFLE), Mrs. Baker.
SUE (otherwise the HON. MISS TRIFLE), Mrs. Waylett.
JANE (otherwise the HON. MISS TRIFLE), Miss Hammersley.
MRS. TARTAR Mrs. Daly.
AFRICAN SAL Mr. Sanders.
Many of the names in the above cast will be familiar to old playgoers, as
most of the persons engaged in the performance became great favourites
with the public, and remained on the British stage for the remaining part
of their respective lives. Now:--
“All, all are gone, the old familiar faces.”
TOM AND JERRY.
[Illustration]
From over the hills and far away,
Where rustic sports employ each day
Young Jerry came with cousin Tom,
To see the rigs of London Town.
Of all that e’er he did or saw,
A faithful picture here we draw.
SCENE--_Chaffing Crib in Corinthian House.--Table, Boxing Gloves, Chairs,
Foils, &c., &c._
_Enter_ TOM _and_ JERRY, _as just arrived_.
_Tom._ Ya! hip! come along, Jerry; here we are safe arrived, my boy.
Welcome, my dear Jerry, to Corinthian Hall--to my snug chaffing
crib--where, I hope, we shall have many a rare bit of gig together.
_Jerry._ Chaffing crib! I’m at fault, coz, can’t follow.
_Tom._ My prattling parlour--my head quarters, coz--where I unbend with my
pals. You are now in London the bang-up spot of the world for fun, frolic,
and out-and-out-ing. Here it shall be my care, Jerry, to introduce you to
all sorts of life--from the flowers of society, the roses, pinks, and
tulips, of one court, to the mechanical tag-rag and
bobtail--vegetables--bunches of turnips--and strings of ing-ens, of
another: for without a proper introduction, London, gay, bustling,
various, as it is, would be no more than an immense wilderness.
_Jerry._ I suppose not. I’ll do as much for you another time.
_Tom._ We must make the best use of our time; I have seen a great deal of
life myself; still I have a great deal yet to see. But let me give you a
caution or two before we set out; never be too confident--rather at all
times plead ignorance than show it; never disgrace the character of a
friend, in that family where you are introduced as a friend; let the
honour of the husband and the peace of the father be preserved inviolable;
and never have the once friendly door be shut against you, either as a
seducer--a hypocrite--or a scoundrel. But I say, my dear fellow, what do
you call all this?--this toggery of yours will never fit--you must have a
new rig-out.
_Jerry._ Eh! oh! I understand. You think the cut of my clothes rather too
rustic--eh?
_Tom._ Exactly; dress is the order of the day. A man must have the _look_
of a gentleman, if he has nothing else. We must assume a style if we have
it not. This, what do you call it?--this cover-me-decently, was all very
well at Hawthorn Hall, I dare say; but here, among the pinks in
Rotten-row, the ladybirds in the Saloon, the angelics at Almack’s,
the-top-of-the-tree heroes, the legs and levanters at Tattersall’s, nay,
even among the millers at the Fives, it would be taken for nothing less
than the index of a complete flat.
_Jerry._ I suppose not--what’s to be done?
_Tom._ I’ll tell you; before we start on our sprees and rambles, I’ll send
for that kiddy-artist, Dicky Primefit, the dandy habit maker, of
Regent-street. He shall rig you out in grand twig, in no time. Here,
Regular! (_Calls_).
_Reg._ Here I am sir.
_Tom._ Send for Dicky Primefit, directly.
_Reg._ What! the sufferer, Sir?
_Tom._ Yes, that’s the fellow; tell him to bring his card of address with
him.
_Jerry._ Sufferer! I’m at fault again, Tom; can’t follow.
_Tom._ The tailor, Jerry: we do make them suffer sometimes.
_Reg._ Yes, sir, the tailor bless me, how very uneducated; I thought every
gentleman knew his tailor was the sufferer; I’m sure I know mine is, and
to some tune too, I’ll chivey the rascal here directly, sir.
[_Exit._
_Tom._ You shall go into training for a swell at once.
_Jerry._ A swell! I’m at fault again.
_Tom._ A swell, my dear Jerry----
_Log._ (_Speaks without_). Just arrived, eh, very well. I’ll go up!
_Tom._ But stay; here comes my friend Bob Logic; he shall tell you what a
swell is--his head contains all the learning--I beg his pardon--all the
larks extant; he is a complete walking map of the metropolis--a perfect
pocket dictionary of all the flash cant, and slang patter, either of St.
James’s or St. Giles’s; only twig him. Welcome, my dear Bob; ten thousand
welcomes.
[Illustration]
+----------------------------+
| MR. ROBERT LOGIC. |
| _Albany._ |
|_A_, _No. 9._|
+----------------------------+
_Enter_ LOGIC.
_Log._ Thankye, my dear Tom--thankye. Seeing your natty gig and fast
trotter at the door, as I passed, I couldn’t avoid popping in to welcome
you back to town. You’ve been sadly miss’d among the big ones since
you’ve been away. Lots of chaffing about you at Daffy’s.
_Tom._ I suppose so. You couldn’t have popped in more opportunely! Allow
me to introduce to you my companion and cousin, Jeremiah Hawthorn,
Esquire, from Somersetshire; Jerry Hawthorn, Doctor Logic, commonly called
Bob Logic--Doctor Logic, Jerry Hawthorn. Bob is the most finished man of
all the pavé, Jerry, whether for drinking, roving, getting in a row or
getting out of one.
_Log._ Oh, you flatter me! I yield the palm to you in those particulars.
To be sure I always was a knowing one.
_Tom._ You were, Bob.
_Log._ (_To Jerry_). Your most obedient, sir; happy to see you. Where did
you pick him up? (_To Tom_).
_Tom._ A slip from the chawbacons; rescued him from yokels. The business
is this; bred up in Somersetshire. Jerry has never before crossed
Claverton Downs. He is now come to see life, and rub off a little of the
rust. In effecting this desirable consummation you can materially assist;
under so skilful a professor of the flash as you, Bob--
_Jerry._ Flash! I’m at fault again, Tom.
_Tom._ Explain, Bob.
_Log._ Flash, my young friend, or slang as others call it, is the
classical language of the Holy Land; in other words, St. Giles’s Greek.
_Jerry._ St. Giles’s Greek; that is a language, doctor, with which I am
totally unacquainted, although I was brought up at a Grammar School.
_Log._ You are not particular in that respect; many great scholars, and
better linguists than you, are quite as ignorant of it, it being studied
more in the Hammer Schools than the Grammar Schools. Flash, my young
friend, or slang, as others call it, is a species of cant in which the
knowing ones conceal their roguery from the flats; and it is one of the
advantages of seeing Life in London, that you may learn to talk to a rogue
in his own language, and fight him with his own weapons.
_Tom._ I was telling him before you came in, Bob, that he must go in
training for a swell, and he didn’t understand what I meant.
_Jerry._ Oh, yes, I did, Tom.
_Tom._ No, no, you didn’t; come, confess your ignorance.
_Log._ Not know what a swell meant?
_Tom._ No: he wasn’t up.
_Jerry._ Not up?
_Log._ That is, you were not down.
_Jerry._ Not down!
_Tom._ No; you’re green!
_Jerry._ Green!
_Log._ Ah! not fly!
_Tom._ Yes, not awake!
_Jerry._ “Green! fly! awake!” D--me, but I’m at fault. I don’t understand
one word you are saying.
_Log._ We know you don’t, and that’s what we’re telling you. Poor young
man--very uninformed.
_Tom._ Quite ignorant, isn’t he, Bob?
_Log._ Melancholy to think of--quite lamentable.
_Tom._ You must go to school, again, Jerry.
_Jerry._ What! the Hammer School?
_Log._ Yes, take your degrees under the classical Captain Grose. A swell,
my dear boy, or rather an empty swell, is an animal very plentiful in the
fashionable world; which, like the frog in the fable, wishing to appear
greater than it is, and vie with the substantial John Bulls of the
Exchange, keeps puffing and puffing itself out, till it bursts in the
attempt, and proves its appearance, like itself, a bubble.
_Enter_ REGULAR.
_Reg._ The sufferer’s carriage is at the door, sir.
_Tom._ What, Dicky Primefit? trundle him in.
_Reg._ This way, Mr. Primefit.
_Prime._ (_Without_). Have the goodness, young man, to desire my footman
to tell my coachman to turn the horses heads towards the Military Club
House:--
_Enter_ PRIMEFIT.
And take that pair of buckskins from under the seat, that I’m going to
take home to the Duke of Dolittle.
_Reg._ Very well Mr. Thing-emy. Must stick it into him for a new pair of
_kickses_, by-and-by.
[_Exit._
_Prime._ Gentlemen, your most obedient. Mr. Corinthian, yours. What are
your commands? was it your little bill you wanted? because if it is, I’ve
got it all ready--’tis but a small account! (_Unrolls long bill_).
_Tom._ Eh! (_Looking at it_). Oh, d--n your bill!
_Log._ (_After looking at it_). Ah, d--n your bill! (_Throws himself on
sofa_).
_Jerry._ (_Walking round it_). Yes, d--n your bill!--I’m up, down, and
see--I’m fly!
_Prime._ Very well, gentlemen, with all my heart--dem the bill; I’ll take
care of the receipt though; (_aside._) as you don’t want to discharge your
account, Mr. Corinthian, perhaps you wish to add to it; if so, I’ll take
your orders with pleasure.
JERRY IN TRAINING FOR A SWELL.
[Illustration]
Now Jerry must needs be a swell,
His coat must have a swallow-tail,
And Mr. Snip, so handy, O,
Soon rigg’d him out a Dandy, O.
Then hey for Life and London Town,
To swagger Bond Street up and down,
And wink at every pretty maid
They meet in Burlington Arcade.
_Tom._ You’ve nicked it; the fact is this, Dicky--you must turn
missionary. Here is a young native from the country, just caught, whom you
must civilise.
_Prime._ Oh! I understand. From the cut of the gentleman’s clothes, I
presume he’s lately come from the Esquimaux Islands.
_Tom._ Ha! ha! very good Primefit; I say, Jerry--you see he’s down upon
you.
_Jerry._ Yes, he’s up, he’s awake, he’s fly--Ha! ha!
_Tom._ Now Dicky, out with your rainbow.
_Prime._ Here are the patterns, gentlemen, the very last fashions, every
one; you can choose for yourself; but this is the colour most in
vogue--generally greens.
_Jerry._ Yes, I’m told you London tailors are particularly fond of
greens--cabbage to wit. But I am not very particular; only let me have
something of this cut. (_Turning round and showing himself_).
_Tom._ Oh, no, hang that cut; the colour may fit; but the cut never will.
_Prime._ By the by, if the gentleman’s in a hurry, I’ve a suit of clothes
in my carriage, that I was about to take home to the Marquis of Squander,
which I think will fit him exactly.
_Tom._ Eh, the Marquis of Squander--just Jerry’s diameter; why that will
be the very thing. Let it be laid on the table directly.
_Prime._ Young man, bring that there bundle, into this here room.
(_Regular brings on bundle_). You will find these perfectly _comme il
faut_, I can assure you.
_Tom._ Come, Jerry, cast your skin--peel--slip into the swell case at
once, my boy--are you up?
_Jerry._ Peel! oh, I know--I’m down, Tom, I’m fly.
_Tom._ Come, Dicky, put him all right--screw him into them.
_Prime._ You may rely upon me, Mr. Corinthian.
(_Jerry is fitted with Coat and Waistcoat; meantime, Tom and Regular box
with gloves.--When Jerry is dressed he struts along the front of the
stage_).
_Jerry._ A tight fit, not much hunting room,--no matter,--there, Tom I’m
all fly.
_Tom._ I knew Dicky would finish him, There’s not a better snyder in
England, taking Nugee, Dollman, the Baron, and Rowlands into the bargain
against him. That will do--now then Dicky, mizzle!--be scarce!--broom.
_Prime._ Wouldn’t intrude a moment, gentlemen, good morning--order my
carriage, there, John--I’ll just take an ice, and then for the Duke.
[_Exit._
_Jerry._ The Duke and an ice--cursed cool--if these are the London
tailors, what must be their customers?
_Log._ It’s the blunt that does it--blunt makes the man, Jerry.
_Jerry._ Blunt! I’m at fault again.
_Tom._ Explain, Bob----
_Log._ Blunt, my dear boy, is--in short what is it not? It’s every thing
now o’days--to be able to flash the screens--sport the rhino--show the
needful--post the pony--nap the rent--stump the pewter--tip the brads--and
down with the dust, is to be at once good, great, handsome, accomplished,
and everything that’s desirable--money, money, is your universal
God,--only get into Tip Street, Jerry.
_Tom._ Well, come let’s make a start of it--where shall we go? No matter.
I commit him to your care, Bob--use him well, remember he is not out of
pupil’s straits, and musn’t be blown up at point nonplus yet.
_Jerry._ Why on London points I confess I am miserably ignorant. But for
anything in the country, now--such as leaping a five-barred gate, jumping
a ditch, trotting my pony against anything alive, wrestling, cudgelling,
or kissing in the ring, depend on it, Tom, you’ll find me--fly.
_Log._ He’s a fine-spirited youth, and will soon make a tie of it with
us--we’ll start first to the show shop of the metropolis, Hyde
Park!--promenade it down the grand strut, take a ride with the pinks in
Rotten Row, where dukes and dealers in queer--heavy plodders and
operators--noblemen, and yokels--barber’s clerks, costard-mongers--swell
coves, and rainbows, all jostle one another; then we’ll have a stroll
through Burlington Arcade, peep in at Tattersal’s, and finish as fancy
leads us.
_Tom._ Bravo! Hyde Park! Burlington Arcade! nothing can be better.
_Log._ No; Arcades are all the go now.
SONG.
AIR.--“_Carnival of Venice._”
_Bazaars have long since had their day,
Are common grown and low;
And now, at powerful Fashion’s sway,
Arcades are all the go.
Then let’s to Piccadilly haste,
And wander through the shade;
And half an hour of pleasure taste,
In Burlington Arcade._
_Tom._ Now, my dear Jerry, to introduce you to another scene of Life in
London;--you have taken a ride among the pinks in Rotten Row, have dipped
into the Westminster pit, sported your blunt with the flue-fakers and gay
tyke boys on the phenomenon monkey[31]--seen that gamest of all buffers,
Rumpty-tum, with the rats; and now you can make assignation with some of
our dashing straw-chippers and nob-thatchers in Burlington Arcade:--This
is the very walk of Cupid and here----
[_Jane slips the letter into his hand and runs off._
_Tom._ I say, you messenger of Cupid--hey, why zounds, she’s bolted!
_Log._ You’ll give chase, Tom?
_Tom._ To be sure I will, Bob.
_Jerry._ I see her, clearing the corner of yonder street--I’m not at fault
now.
_Tom._ Tip us the view hallo! then, Jerry.
_Jerry._ Yoicks! yoicks!
_Exeunt Omnes._
[Illustration]
SCENE.--_Tattersall’s.--Grooms, Jockeys, I’s Yorkshire-Coves, Blacklegs._
SOLO AND CHORUS.
AIR.--“_Gee ho, Dobbin._”
_Grooms, Jockies, and Chaunters, to Tattersal’s bring,
Your lame and blind spavin’d prads in a string.
Knowing ones, that have no legs to go on, may scoff,
But we I’s Yorkshire coves here can make them go off.
Gee ho, Dobbin! Gee ho, Dobbin!
Gee ho, Dobbin! Gee up, and gee ho!_
_Cope._ Well, Master Gull’em, do you think we shall get the flat-catcher
off to-day?
_Gul._ As sure as your name is Simon Cope, only wait till the flats
come--have you given his pedigree to Tattersall?
_Cope._ Yes; and he’s promised to put him up first.
_Gul._ Mind, you’re the seller,--I’m the bidder--hallo! here’s three
swells coming this way--that one in the middle, looks like a flat, we must
try it on upon him.
_Cope._ Hush! don’t let’s appear to know one another.
_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC.
_Tom._ Confound the little gipsy, she has fairly given us the slip, by
Jupiter--however, the assignation must be attended to.--Almack’s! smacks
well. You are now at Tattersall’s, Jerry, a very worthy fellow, who made
his fortune by a horse called Highflyer. In remembrance of whom the
following epitaph was written:--
HERE LIETH
The perfect and beautiful symmetry
Of the much-lamented
HIGHFLYER;
By whom, and his wonderful offspring,
The celebrated TATTERSALL acquired a noble fortune,
But he was not ashamed to acknowledge it.
In gratitude to this famous
STALLION
He called an elegant mansion he built
HIGHFLYER HALL.
_Jerry._ Hum! and if one may judge from the splendour and extent of his
premises, he seems to be no small highflyer himself.
_Tom._ You are right, Jerry--I shall here buy a bit of cavalry--that is a
prad, on your judgment.
_Jerry._ You’ll not find me at fault here, depend on’t.
_Tom._ What you’re up, eh?
_Jerry._ Yes, quite fly, depend on’t.
_Gul._ I beg pardon, gemmen--want to buy a prad? here’s one a gentleman
wants to sell--you can’t have a better, Sir; here, you Bob, bring him out.
There’s action for you--there’s one to tip ’em the go-bye at a
mill,--there’s earth-stoppers--quiet to drive, quiet in harness, trots
fifteen miles in less than an hour. Warranted sound--he would be cheap at
a hundred, and I shouldn’t wonder if he was to go for thirty.
_Jerry._ Ah, thirty-pence--two-and-six-pence,--I wouldn’t have him at a
gift.
_Log._ He may be a good one to go--but he’s a rum one to look at--one of
my Lord Cagmag’s sort, he always drives two puffers, a stumbler, and a
blinker.
_Gul._ (_To Cope_). These chaps are awake; it wont suit.
_Cope._ Never mind, we shall meet a flat presently.
[Illustration]
_Tat._ (_Who has now mounted the rostrum_). Now, gentlemen, we’ll proceed
to business. The first article I have to offer to your notice is that
prime Yorkshire stallion Bite--he was got by Blackleg out of
Greenhorn--what shall I say, gentlemen, for this beautiful and most
serviceable animal?--he is rising five, next grass--warranted
sound--perfect in all his paces.
_Tom._ Nine pence.
_Tat._ Oh, Sir! (_To Jerry_). What do you say, Sir?
_Jerry._ Why, if you’ll put his other eye in, I’ll give you three
halfpence a pound for him.
_Log._ Let’s be off, Tom--Come, Jerry.
[_Exit Tom, Jerry, and Logic._
_Tat._ Come, gentlemen, will nobody be a bidder?
[Illustration]
_Enter_ JEMMY GREEN.
_Green._ Yes, I’ll bid--I’ll bid. Mr. Green from the City. I wants an
’orse, and I like the looks of that ’ere hanimal amazingly, and I’m no bad
judge, I tell you that.
_Gul._ Here’s a customer, by jingo. It’s booked. Mr. Green’s the
purchaser. (_Aside_). That’s a famous horse, that there, Sir--I mean to
have him at any price.
_Green._ I don’t know that, Mister.
_Gul._ I must clench it at once--fifteen pounds for that ’ere horse.
_Green._ Twenty pounds, Mr. Hauctioneer.
_Cope._ Beg pardon, Sir, but you can’t have a better horse, and he’s cheap
at fifty.
_Green._ I am wery much obliged to you for your adwice--but I happens to
know what an ’orse is--I’m not a _hass_! I’ll have him, but I shan’t go
further nor forty.
_Gul._ Five and twenty pounds.
_Green._ Thirty.
_Tat._ Thirty pounds; any advance upon thirty pounds?
_Green._ Yes, five more.
_Tat._ Thankye, Sir; thirty-five.
_Gul._ Thirty-six, my regular.
_Green._ Thirty-seven, my regular.
_Gul._ Thirty-nine.
_Green._ Thirty-nine, for me too.
_Tat._ It’s against you, Mr. Green.
_Green._ Against me is it? vy I bid as much as him.--Vell, forty!
_Tat._ For forty pounds, have you all done at forty? last time at
forty--forty--going for forty! going--going--gone! Mr. Green, he’s yours.
_Green._ I’ve bought him!
_Tat._ You have indeed, Sir!
_Green._ Here’s your money, Sir--Mr. Green, from Tooley Street--you’ll
find two twenties! and I’m wery much obliged to you for your serwility.
_Cope._ You don’t want a civil honest lad to lead him home for your
honour, do you, Sir?
_Green._ No thank’ye, I’m not going to trust an hanimal like that with
nobody but myself. Can nobody have the goodness to lend me a bit of rope,
to get him along vith?
_Cope._ No we’ve got you in a line, and that’s quite enough. (_Aside_) You
bought him too cheap, to have rope with him, Sir; but here’s a hay-band,
that will do perhaps.
_Green._ An ay-band--oh, ah; an ay-band will do very well,--do you think I
can get him as far as Tooley Street, vith this?
_Cope._ Oh, yes, Sir, he’s as quiet as a lamb, and a famous hunter.
_Green._ An unter! I’ve taken ’em all in; I’ve bought an unter!
_Cope._ Ah, and nothing but a good one neither--such a one to clear a
gate.
_Green._ Vot? clear a gate! vy, then, I sha’n’t have to pay no
turnpikes!--How pleased they’ll be in Tooley Street, when I tell’s my pa
I’ve bought an unter!
_Gul._ We’ll get something more out of him yet. (_Aside to Cope_). So you
think you have bought that ’ere horse, do you Mister?--Now, I say, I’ve
bought him. (_To Green_)
_Green._ You bought him? that’s a good un! but I’m not to be taken in in
this here manner!--if you bought him, I paid for him, that’s all I know.
_Gul._ I say I bought him, and the horse is mine.
_Green._ I say as how you are a wery unpurlite gentleman.
[Illustration]
_Cope._ Oh gentlemen, I’m sorry to see you quarrel.--(_To Gull’em_)--Let
me speak to the gentleman, and I’ll convince him.--(_To Green_)--Sir, if
you’ll give me one pound note, I’ll swear you bought him, and that the
horse is yours.
_Green._ Sir, I’m wery much obliged to you, you’re werry purlite; and as I
don’t mind a von pound note, and vishes to ’ave that ’ere hanimal all to
myself, vy, there’s the money.
_Cope._ I’ve done him. (_To Gull’em_). Oh, the horse belongs to this
gentleman,--I saw him pay for it.
_Green._ To be sure he did.
_Gul._ Oh, if you paid for him you certainly bought him.
_Green._ Certainly; I’m glad it’s all settled: I think as how I may as
vell ride him home. Vill you please to assist me to mount?--(_Gull’m puts
him with his face to the horse’s tail_).
_Green._ Holloa! vy the horse’s head’s behind. Turn him round, if you
please, young man. Come no tricks.--(_They turn the horse round_).--Vy the
horse’s head is behind yet.--(_Green jumps off his back_).--I see you are
going it, but I’m not to be had--I’m a knowing von! I shall lead him home
myself.--Good morning, gentleman, I thank you for all your serwilities.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: Jarvey! Here am I, ye’r honour.]
SCENE.--_Hyde Park Corner._
_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC.
_Tom._ Ha! ha! ha! was there ever such a flat as that Mr. Green?--we can
buy no prad to-day, Jerry; we must go when some gentlemen’s stud is
selling; and while the dealers are running down the cattle, we can get a
prime good one for a song. But now for Almack’s--the highest Life in
London! and see what game Cupid has sprung up for us in that quarter.
_Jerry._ I long to be there,--let’s hasten to dress at once.
_Log._ Aye; call a rattler.
_Jerry._ A rattler! I’m at fault again.
_Log._ A rattler is a rumbler, otherwise a jarvey! better known perhaps by
the name of a hack; handy enough in wet weather, or a hurry.
_Jerry._ A hack! If it is the thing we rattled over the stones in to-day,
it might more properly be called a bone-setter.
_Tom._ Or bone-breaker--But if you dislike going in a hack, we’ll get you
a mab.
_Jerry._ A mab! I’m at fault again--never shall get properly broken in.
_Tom._ A mab is a jingling jarvey!--a cabriolet Jerry--but we must mind
our flash doesn’t peep out at Almack’s. ’Tis classic ground there; the
rallying spot of all the rank, wealth, and beauty in the metropolis; the
very atmosphere of it is--
THE BANG-UP OF THE BIG WIGS.
[Illustration]
_Jerry._ Rather different to that of Rum-ti-tum and the rats. I should
imagine.
_Tom._ A shade or two!--we must be on our P’s and Q’s there--forget the
Phenomenon and the Fancy. If you find me tripping, Jerry, whisper Lethe to
bury it in oblivion; and, if necessary, I’ll do the same kind office for
you.
_Jerry._ Ten thousand thanks!
_Log._ Come along, then. Now, Jerry, chivey!
_Jerry._ Chivey?
_Log._ Mizzle?
_Jerry._ Mizzle?
_Log._ Tip you rags a gallop!
_Jerry._ Tip my rags a gallop?
_Log._ Walk your trotters!
_Jerry._ Walk my trotters?
_Log._ Bolt!
_Jerry._ Bolt? oh, aye! I’m fly now. You mean go.--_Exeunt Omnes_
ALMACK’S IN THE WEST.
[Illustration]
If once to ALMACK’S you belong,
Like MONARCH’S you can _do no wrong_;
But banished thence on Wednesday night,
By Jove, you can do nothing right.
Ladies, your most humble servants,
Tom and Jerry stands before you.
Our blood is thrilling, you’re so killing;
At once we love you and adore you.
Let us softly sit beside you;
Trust us, you will quickly own,
That love’s alarms hath sweeter charms
Than joys e’er yet to mortal known.
SCENE.--_Almack’s brilliantly illuminated--Duchess of Diamonds, Countess
Conversatione, Princess Pulmante, Lady Eastend, Baron Rufus, Sir Tilbury
Unit, and Company discovered._
_Enter_ KATE, SUE, JANE, _and_ TRIFLE.
_Sue._ I do not see them yet.
_Kate._ I can depend upon Corinthian; and I think you may upon your lover.
In the meantime, let us have a minuet to dissipate our _ennui_.
_Enter_ GREEN, _in ball dress_.
_Green._ Aye, aye, a minivit to dissipate our _ong vee_, by all means.
_Sue._ As I live, Trifle, here is that Mr. Green, to whom you introduced
us.
_Trifle._ Aye, aye, from the City. We find these City folks--these
Greens--excessively useful in money matters, _pan hanour_. How are you my
dear fa-el-low.
_Sue._ Your servant, Mr. Green.
_Green._ Ladies, your most _dewoted_. Mr. Trifle, your humble--Oh, this is
the master of the ceremonies, and those are the two that’s to dance the
gavotte. Yes, that’s Willis--_permitty moy_. (_Takes Kate and Sue’s
arms_).
_Kate._ Eh, bless me, Mr. Green, what is the matter? Why, you seem quite
out of spirits; I hope nothing has happened to Mrs. Green or any of the
little Greens.
_Green._ Oh, no, nothing; but you labour under a mistake quite entirely;
there is no Mrs. Green--I am not an ’appy man yet! There are no little
Greens, neither--no young sprouts, I assure you. No, I’m out of spirits
because I have been dished and doodled out of forty pounds to-day; I have
been taken in by the purchase of an ’orse at Tattersall’s--It was a very
fine looking hanimal but before I got him home, the cursed creature went
upon three legs--Dragg’d the other behind him, like a pendulum.
_Kate._ My dear Mr. Green, will you join in a dance?
_Green._ Oh, dear no--I couldn’t think of such a thing--I never danced but
once, and then I was so excruciated with termidity that I tipped up my
partner, lost one of my shoes, and diskivered an ole in my stocking.
_Kate._ Oh, horrid, how could you support the shock? But here is a lady
who is absolutely pining for the honour of your hand.
_Green._ Vell, if she’ll instruct me when I’m out, I don’t mind making one
in a quod-reel.
_Sue._ That’s well said--hey, here they are, now, my dear Trifle.
_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC, _full dressed_.
_Tom._ At length, my dear Jerry, we are at Almack’s, though egad I began
to think we should be too late.
_Jerry._ This indeed is a splendid view of Life in London.
_Tom._ It is; the tip-top! set off to the best advantage, by the best
dresses, finished by the best behaviour. (_Trifle quizzes through glass up
stage_).
_Log._ Yes, witness that puppy, staring us out of countenance with his
quizzing glass yonder--why don’t he wear green specs, as I do, if his
ogles are queer.
_Tom._ LETHE! LETHE! my dear Bob--you forget where you are.
_Jerry._ The half-and-half coves are somewhat different from the swaddies,
and gay tykeboys, at the dog pit--Eh, Tom?
_Tom._ Lethe! Lethe; my dear Jerry--mum!
_Trifle._ My dear fa-el-low, you really must excuse my interrupting
you--but what can you possibly have been preaching to your friend from
the country so long--here are three lovely girls waiting to be introduced
to you--relations of mine, the Honourable Miss Trifles--we must make up a
quadrille.
_Tom._ Three girls, Jerry!--Do you hear that?
_Jerry._ I’m up----
_Trifle._ I’m not equal to the fatigue of an introduction myself,--but my
friend Green from the City here, will oblige me by taking the trouble off
my hands.
_Green._ Vith the greatest of pleasure--the Honourable Miss Trifle--Mr.
Corinthian.--The Honourable Miss S. Trifle.--Mr. Hawthorn.--the Honourable
Miss J. Trifle--Doctor Logic.
_Ceremony of introduction takes place._
_Jerry._ What divinities! but I say, Tom, this girl is as like my Sue,
as--yet it can’t be.
_Tom._ And this one is as like my Kate as one pea is like another--I could
have betted every rap--six quid to four----
_Jerry._ Lethe, Tom,--Lethe,--L-E-T-H-E. (_Spelling it_).
_Tom._ The retort courteous--I own it.
_Green._ Excuse my hinterfering, my dear fellows, but ve’re just going to
make up a quod-reel, and vant you to join us.
_Tom._ Ah! ah! a quadrille by all means--you’ll dance, Jerry?
_Jerry._ I know nothing about quadrilles, Tom--but the deuce is in it if I
can’t cut as good a figure as _this Mister Jemmy_ Green, so I don’t care
if I do kick up my heels a bit.
_Green._ Aye, a dance, a dance.
_After dance_, JERRY _advances with_ SUE.
_Jerry._ Sweet girl! may I be permitted to hope that the partnership of
this evening may lead to one for life?
_Sue._ Ah! Sir, a dance affords you gallant gentlemen worlds of latitude
for flattery and deceit.
_Jerry._ Nay, I am sincere, by heaven!
_Sue._ Come, Sir, they are about to waltz, and if you wouldn’t have my
head as giddy as you seem to think my heart is, you will conduct me to a
seat.
_Jerry._ With rapture! This is, indeed, LIFE IN LONDON.
[Illustration]
SCENE.--_Tom Cribb’s parlour.--Swell coves, Millers, &c., drinking and
blowing their clouds; Tom, Jerry, Green, and Logic among them.--Cribb in
the chair.--Chorus (Omnes)._
AIR.--“_Oh, who has not heard of a Jolly Young Waterman._”
_Oh, who has not heard of our gallant black diamond,
Who once down at Hungerford us’d for to ply?
His mawleys he us’d with such skill and dexterity,
Winning each mill, and making each miller fly!
He fibb’d so neat--he stopped so steadily;
He hit so straight--he floored so readily.
In every game ’twas_ the _Cribb won it fair;
He’s Champion of England, and now fills the chair._
_Cribb._ Thank’ye, gentleman, thank’ye--but as I see by our sporting
oracle, “The Dispatch,” there’s a mill on foot--I’ll give you, “_May the
best man win_.”
(_All drink_). May the best man win.
_Green._ May the best man vin.
_Log._ With all my heart; but, zounds! we’ve almost buzz’d the bowl. Let’s
have another, and dy’e hear, Tom, serve it up in your prize cup; Jerry
hasn’t seen it, and we mustn’t omit that.
_Cribb._ With all my heart, Doctor; but you must stand a bottle to see the
cup.
[Illustration]
_Log._ Yes, yes, I’ll stand a bottle to christen the cup.
_Jerry._ Aye, aye; I’ll stand a bottle, Tom.
_Tom._ Ditto for me.
_Green._ Yes, and I’ll stand a bottle of ditto, too.
_Jerry._ This may, indeed, be called the very Temple of the Fancy.
_Log._ Yes, and here are some of the finest fancy sketches in the kingdom.
_Tom._ Well, Jerry, after our last night’s divertisement at Almack’s, the
set-to I gave you this morning at the great Commissary-General Jackson’s
rooms cannot be better followed up than by a turn in the sporting parlour
of honest Tom Cribb.
_Cribb._ Thank’ye, Mr. Corinthian; I’ll always do my best to satisfy you
in any way.
_Tom._ There is one way, Tom, in which you would very soon satisfy us.
_Jerry._ Yes, and I’m thinking not a little to our dis-satisfaction. I am
of opinion that every gentleman should practice the art of self defence,
if it were only to protect him from the insults of vulgar ignorance;
though I by no means set myself up as a champion for boxing.
_Log._ No, for if you did we’ve a champion here who would set you down.
We’ll drink his health, and may he ever prove as successful as when he
floor’d the Black Miller at Thistleton Gap. (_All drink_).
_Tom._ Tom, your health. (_Cribb rises_). Silence for Tom’s speech--doff
your castor, Tom--that’s the time of day.
_Cribb._ Gentlemen, my humble duty to you. Here’s all your healths, and
your families. Bless your soul, I can claim no merit for what I’ve done;
fighting came naturally like, and thinking others might be as fond of it
as myself, why, I always gave them a bellyfull.
_Tom._ Bravo, Tom, an excellent speech--Cicero never spoke better.
_Log._ No, nor anything like it.
_Tom._ Oh, here comes the cup. Look out, Jerry.
CRIBB’S PARLOUR.[32]
[Illustration]
_Enter_ WAITER, _with the Champion’s Cup_.
Come, Tom--I pledge you. (_Cribb drinks; the Cup is passed_).
_Jerry._ Well, this is the pleasantest way of cupping a man I ever heard
of--but come, Bob, give us a song.
_Log._ With all my heart, only let me sluice my whistle first.
SONG.--LOGIC. AIR.--“_Such a beauty I did grow._”
_Oh, when I was a little boy,
Some thirty years ago;
I prov’d such an anointed one,
They made me quite a show._
CHORUS.--_Such a knowing one I did grow._
_At tea I stole the sugar,
And I slyly pinched the girls;
I roasted mammy’s parrot,
Shod the cat in walnut shells.
Such a knowing, &c._
_At school I play’d the truant,
And would robbing orchards go;
I burned my master’s cane and rod,
And tore the fools’-cap, too.
Such a knowing, &c._
_As I learnt nought but mischief there,
To College I was sent,
Where I learn’d to game and swear,
On fun and frolic bent.
Such a knowing, &c._
_In town I mill’d the Charlies,
Aim’d at all within the ring;
Became one of the fancy,
And was up to everything.
Such a knowing, &c._
_Jerry._ Bravo!--but, zounds! Tom, Tom! what are you musing so
profoundedly about?
_Tom._ I was thinking about the women, Jerry; those enchanting girls we
danced with a Almack’s--could they be the incognitas that challenged us
thither? There is some secret charm about those girls that hasn’t allowed
me to rest all night.
_Jerry._ Well, and do you know, Tom, to tell you the truth, I haven’t been
a whit better than yourself. But, I say, only see how confoundedly the
dustman’s getting hold of Logic,--we’ll funk him. (_Tom and Jerry smoke
Logic_).
_Log._ Oh, hang your cigars, I don’t like it; let’s have no funking.
_Tom._ Well, come, come, rouse up; don’t be crusty, Bob--let’s start on
some spree; no doubt we shall spring a lark somewhere. (_Rattles heard_).
There’s one! go it, Jerry!--Come, Green.
_Log._ Aye, come, Jerry, there’s the Charlies’ fiddles going.
_Jerry._ Charlie’s fiddles!--I’m not fly, Doctor.
_Log._ Rattles, Jerry, rattles! you’re fly now, I see. Come along, Tom! Go
it, Jerry! _Exit._
NIGHT SCENE.--TOM AND JERRY UPSETTING THE CHARLIES.
[Illustration]
Hark! the watchman springs his rattle,
Now the midnight’s lark begun;
Boxes crashing, lanthorns smashing,
Mill the Charlies--oh! what fun.
Pigs are hauling, girls are bawling,
Wretch, how durst you bang me so,
My sconce you’ve broken--for your joking,
You shall to the watch-house go.
SCENE.--_The City side of Temple Bar, by Moonlight. Watchbox--Watchmen
crying the hour at different parts of the stage._
_Enter drunken_ BUCK.
_Buck._ Steady! steady!--now where shall I go?--I think I’ll go strait
home. (_Reels_). No, I won’t! I’ll go where I think proper--I’ll go out
again--I’ll go--where I like.
(_Exit._)
_Enter_ GAS-LIGHT MAN, _who lights the Lamp_.
SONG.--GAS.
AIR.--“_I’m Jolly Dick the Lamplighter._”
_I’m saucy Jack, the gas-light man,
I put the prigs to rout;
For where I light do all they can,
They’re sure to be found out.
Your beaks and traps are fools to me,
For in the darkest night;
’Tis I that lets the people see,
And bring their tricks to light._
(_Exit_)
[Illustration]
THE CITY WATCHMAN.
_Enter_ O’BOOZLE.--CHAUNT.
_Past twelve o’clock--a moon-light night!
Past twelve o’clock--and the stars shine bright!
Past twelve o’clock--your doors are all fast like you!
Past twelve o’clock--and I’ll soon be fast too!_
[Illustration]
_Re-enter_ BUCK.
_Buck._ Past two did you say, Watchey? didn’t think it had been half so
late--I think it’s time for me to go home to bed.
_O’Booz._ Why, yes, I thinks as how it is, Sir--you’ve been taking a
little too much refreshment--steady! steady! hold up, Sir,
(_Pretends to assist him, and picks his pocket of his handkerchief_).
_Buck._ Good night, old Clockey. (_Reels off_).
_O’Booz._ Good night, Sir--take care nobody robs your honour. Why, the
gentleman’s left his vipe behind him, and I musn’t go off my beat to give
it him: how unfortinate--I’ll call him back! Sir, Sir. (_Whispers_). Bless
my soul how wery deaf that ere gentlemen is!--well I must take care of it
for him till he calls again!--I don’t know what would become of these here
young chaps if it wasn’t for such old coveys as we are--Oh, here comes
that cursed Gas!
_Re-enter_ GAS.
_Gas._ Well, Watchey, and what have you to say about the gas? Eh?
_O’Booz._ Why, that you have been the ruin of our calling--that’s all!
_Gas._ Pooh! pooh! nonsense! I only throw a light upon the abuses of it.
(_Pushes by O’Boozle_).
_O’Booz._ Hollo! you had better mind what you are at with your Jacob, or I
shall just-- (_Sounds rattle_).
_Gas._ Come, come, silence your coffee-mill.
_O’Booz._ What I’ve got to say is this--yes, the matter of the business is
this here:--Since you sprung up, my beat a’nt worth having--I havn’t had a
broken head for these ten days past, and there’s no such thing as picking
up a couple of sweethearts now--why there isn’t a dark corner in the whole
parish.
_Gas._ No more there should be. Folks have been kept a little too long in
the dark.
_O’Booz._ Have they.
_Gas._ But good night, for I suppose as how you won’t stand a drop o’
nothin’, old Bacon-face?
_O’Booz._ No, I suppose I von’t stand a drop of nothing! young
Calf’s-head? (_Exit Gas singing, “I’m saucy Jack” &c_).
_O’Booz._ I think I’ve given him his change. Well I don’t see the use of
kicking my heels about here,--people’s clocks can tell them the time, just
as well as I can, I’m sure! and a great deal better, if they knew all! so
I shall go into my box, after I’ve called the half-hour, and have a
regular snooze. It looks damned cloudy too.
CHAUNT.
_Half-past twelve--and a cloudy morning.
Half-past twelve--mind, I give you warning,
Half-past twelve--now I’m off to sleep!
And the morning soon my watch will keep!_
(_Goes into box and falls asleep_).
[Illustration]
TOM, JERRY, AND LOGIC IN A ROW.
[Illustration]
Mercy! what a din and clatter
Breaks the stillness of the night,
Lamps do rattle--’tis a battle,
Quick, and let us see the sight.
Old and young at blows like fury,
Tom and Jerry leads the row,
Milling, flooring all before them,
This is Life in London, boys.
_Enter_ KATE _and_ SUE _disguised as two young bucks_.
_Kate._ Well, here we are, just before them--and now to cure them of their
love and rambling it must be our plan to involve them in all the scrapes
we can, we shall never have a better opportunity.
_Sue._ No, ’tis now the very witching hour of night, as Shakspere says.
SONG.--KATE.
AIR.--“_Ackee oh! Ackee oh!_”
_When the moon o’er Temple Bar
Glimmers slow, and gaslights glow;
And locked in sleep, grave big wigs are
Snoring sound asleep._
_We for pleasure gaily run,
Full of frolic, full of fun;
Whisking oh! frisking oh!
To pick up a beau._
_Sue._ Stand aside, my dear Kate, I see occasion for our being active
here! If I may trust my eyes, yonder comes a lovely girl--I must have some
sport with her.
_Enter_ MRS. TARTAR.
_Mrs. T._ There, I’ve shut up the shop, and as it’s Mr. Tartar’s turn to
sit as constable of the night, I’ll just take him the street-door key, and
then he can let himself in when he pleases--I hope the dear man won’t be
long.
_Kate._ Never mind, ma’am, if he should be--anything in my power----
_Mrs. T._ Keep your distance, sir--I’ll call the watch.
_Sue._ Nay, but my dear madam, when beauty like yours is neglected, it is
the duty of every man. (_Kisses her_).
_Mrs. T._ Don’t take liberties, sir.
_Kate._ I wouldn’t take liberties for the world. (_Kisses her_).
_Mrs. T._ Eh, I shall be ruin’d, I’ll call out--here, watch! watch!
(_Rattles heard_).
_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC, _with Umbrella_.
_Jerry._ Ay, ay, ay, put down the rain napper, Doctor, the shower is over
now. What’s the matter?
_Mrs. T._ I’m in the greatest distress imaginable.
_Tom._ Holloa, what’s the row?--a woman in distress! Where’s the man would
refuse his assistance?
_Kate._ Who are you, sir?
_Sue._ Yes, who are you, sir?
_Tom._ What, show fight! I’m your man; (_To Kate_).
_Jerry._ And I’m your man, my little one. (_To Sue_).
_Log._ (_To Mrs. T._) And I’m your man, ma’am.
_Mrs. T._ Watch! watch! (_Rattles are heard_).
_Enter_ TEDDY M’LUSH, _an Irish Watchman_.
_M’L._ Ulloa, here! What the devil have you got a fire?
_Tom._ What do you ask for your beaver, Charley?
_Mrs. T._ Why, my goodness, watchman, you are quite drunk.
_M’L._ Eh, drunk are you,--then I’ll take care of you.
_Mrs. T._ But I want to give charge of these two gentlemen, who have
behaved in the most extravagant manner--almost kissed me to death.
_M’L._ Oh, you want to charge these gentlemen in an extravagant manner,
for almost kissing them to death, do you?--but I’ll soon put a stop to it.
_Kate._ That’s right, watchman.
_Tom._ Zounds! fellows, do you think we’re to be bullied in this fashion?
_M’L._ Oh, you’re bullies dressed in the fashion, are you?--I’ll soon take
charge of ye. (_Springs rattle--it is answered without_, R. _and_ L).
_Tom._ A surprise! I’ll make sure of this fellow, at all events. Now,
Jerry, I’ll show you how to box a Charley.
_Log._ Stop, my boys, secure your tattlers. (_They put up their watches_).
_Tom._ Now, go it, Jerry,--can you play at cricket?
_Jerry._ Yes, Tom.
_Tom._ Then catch--here’s the gentleman’s toothpicker, and here’s his
glim. (_Throw stick and lanthorn to Jerry_).
_Tom upsets O’Boozle’s box.--enter Watchmen.--General row--Rattles--Logic
fights M’Lush.--Kate, Mrs. Turtar and Sue, run off.--Green enters with a
bloody nose and two watchmen; he runs off.--Jerry fights with three
watchmen.--Tom fights with three watchmen, floors them._
CHORUS. (_Omnes_).
AIR.--_From the Spectacle of “Don Juan.”_
_Watch! watch! watch! Lord how they’re bawling!
Catch! catch! catch! That’s if you can.
Scratch! scratch! scratch! Pulling and hauling--
Wretch! wretch! wretch! You are the man.
Patch! patch! patch! Lots of heads breaking!
Fetch! fetch! fetch! The constable, John.
Match! match! match! Match them for raking.
Watch! watch! watch! My watch is gone._
_Mill renewed.--The Women get away as before.--Tom and Jerry perform
prodigies of valour, but are at length overpowered by numbers, and borne
off.--Green enters alarmed, flies on all sides for safety, but is at
length caught up by a watchman in his arms, and carried off.--Scene closes
on two watchmen cuffing one another by mistake._
[Illustration]
TOM AND JERRY IN TROUBLE AFTER A SPREE.
[Illustration]
AND please your Worship here’s three fellows
Been hammering of us all about;
Broke our boxes, lanthorns, smellers,
And almost clos’d our peepers up.
Our pipkins broke, Sir!--’tis no joke, Sir,
Faith we’re crush’d from head to toe;
We’re not the men, Sir!--Hold your tongue, Sir,
You must find bail before you go!
SCENE.--_Interior of St. Dunstan’s Watch-house.--Mr. Tartar, Constable of
the Night, discovered at table; pen, ink, &c.--Watchman in attendance.
Noise heard without.--Cries of “Charge! charge!”_
_Mr. T._ Holloa! a charge! I must get into my big chair, pull off my
night-cap, cock my wig, and look official. (_Watchman opens the door, and
is knocked down by rush_).
_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, LOGIC, WATCHMEN, KATE, JANE, SUE, MRS. TARTAR,
O’BOOZLE, _and_ M’LUSH, _very uproariously_. MRS. TARTAR _makes signs to_
MR. TARTAR.
_Omnes._ Mr. Constable! Mr. Constable--Please your worship, this
man!--this woman!
_Mr. T._ Silence! silence!--Eh, the devil! Sally Tartar, my wife!--and
winking at me not to take any notice.
_Omnes._ Please your worship--I--I----
_Mr. T._ Silence! silence! Watchman, do you speak first.
_Mrs. T._ (_aside to Tom_). Be quiet--I’ll soon turn the tables.
_M’L._ Plaise your honour, I have brought before your worship a most
notorious substitute and common street talker, who, for her foul doings,
has been cooped up in the Poultry Compter, as often as there are years in
a week.--I caught her charging these honest gentlemen, (_pointing to Tom
and Jerry_) in a most impositious manner, and when I civilly axed her, how
she could think of getting drunk, and acting so, she called her bullies
here. (_Pointing to Kate and Sue_).
_Kate._ Zounds, fellow, you don’t mean us?
_Sue._ Why, you rascal, I’ll twist your neck for you.
_M’L._ Yes; they, your worship, who half murdered me first, and then
buried poor little Teddy O’Boozle in his box, that he mightn’t prevent
them murdering t’other half of me; och, they’re terrible desperadoes!
_Kate._ Here’s a scoundrel for you!
_Mr. T._ Silence! we’ll soon get to the bottom of all this.
_Kate._ Zounds, sirrah, we gave the charge ourselves. (_To M’Lush_).
_M’L._ Och, murder!
_Kate._ Those were the assailants. (_Pointing to Tom, Jerry, and Logic_).
_Mr. T._ This is a very intricate affair.
_M’L._ Sure, won’t I be after telling you my own story:--as I was going my
rounds quietly enough, up comes these young sparks, and gave me such a
maulagaran, that they knock’d me into the middle of next week--besides
tipping me this here black eye--only see how red it is!
_Mr. T._ I’ll soon set all to rights,--first let me hear what you have to
say to all this, woman: these are very serious allegations. (_To Mrs.
Tartar_).
_Tom._ Aye, aye, let the woman speak.
_O’Booz._ Oh, the woman will speak fast enough.
_Mrs. T._ Hold your tongue fellow.--Please your worship, it’s all false
from beginning to end--it’s he that’s drunk! nay, you may perceive he’s so
drunk he cannot even give a charge--doesn’t know one person from the
other, and can scarcely stand.
_M’L._ Plaise your honour it’s only the ague, I have it every Saturday
night regularly, what I’ve said is all true, so help me Bob,--sure, she’s
not a woman to put whiskey in a jug, and throw stones at it.
_Mr. T._ Why, you impudent vagabond you’re drunk now--instead of giving
charge of her, the good lady ought to have given charge of you,--what
business had you off your beat, and in such a situation?
_Tom and Jerry._ Aye, what business had you off your beat, old Charley?
_M’L._ They bate me off my beat.
_Mrs. T._ I give charge of him, your worship.
_Mr. T._ And I take it--off with him to the black hole.
_Tom._ Aye, aye, take him up the spout.
_Mr. T._ My dear wife! (_Embraces Mrs. Tartar_). My dear Sally Tartar.
_M’L._ His wife! Och, by the powers, then I’ve caught a Tartar.
_Mr. T._ Take him away.
_M’L._ Och, sure I’m the boy that cares for nobody--so there’s my coat,
there’s my hat, there’s my rattle and lanthorn,--and to the devil I pitch
the whole of you. (_He is carried off_).
_Kate._ They musn’t get off so easily. (_Aside_).
_Tom._ A fortunate turn-up for us, faith.
_Mr. T._ Gentlemen, you are at liberty.
_O’Booz._ Stay, your honour, I’ve got a charge. This here chap (_pointing
to Tom_) with the Roosian head of hair--he comes up to me like a warment--
_Tom._ Why, you impudent--(_Knocks O’Boozle down--a row ensues_).
_Mr. T._ Silence! silence!--be quiet all of you, can’t you?
_Kate._ Mr. Constable, I have a charge--(_to O’Boozle_). Watchman, there’s
a crown--what I say, swear to. (_Aside_).
_O’Booz._ I’ll swear to anything, your honour.
_Log._ What the devil’s in the wind now?
_Kate._ I charge those gentlemen with assaulting this young
woman--(_pointing to Jane_)--the watchman saw the whole transaction.
_O’Booz._ I’ll swear it, your worship.
_Tom._ Why, zounds, fellow, I never saw the girl!
_Sue._ (_To Jerry_). Come, sir, you can’t say you never saw her.
_Jerry._ Why I have a recollection of seeing her somewhere, though I am at
fault as to the place, at present.
_Kate._ It’s a clear case.
_O’Booz._ I’ll swear to it, your worship!
ROUND. (_Omnes_).
AIR.--“_’Twas you, Sir._”
_’Twas you, Sir, ’twas you, Sir;
Your worship, it is true, Sir,
’Twas you that pull’d the girl about,
’Twas you, Sir, you._
_Untrue, Sir, untrue, Sir,
It was the man in blue, Sir,
’Twas he that pulled the girl about,
’Tis true, Sir, true._
_No, no, Sir, no, no, Sir,
How can you tell lies so, Sir?
I did not pull the girl about,
But I know who._
_Mr. T._ Gentlemen, here are four witnesses against you; and ’tis my
painful duty to commit you, unless you can find good bail.
_Tom._ We’ll give you leg bail.
_Kate._ Aye, find good bail, and mind that it is good. There’s our
card--come, watchman--Come, Sir Jeremy.
_Sue._ Good-night--Sorry to leave you in such bad company--but beauty
calls; we must obey.
_Tom._ Aye, aye, your mamma waits for you.
_Log._ Go and get a pennyworth of elycampane.
_Jerry._ There’s a pair of men-milliners--I say; go home and sleep under
the counter.
(_Exeunt Sue, Kate, and watchmen_).
[Illustration]
TOM AND JERRY AMONG THE “SWELL BROAD COVES.”
[Illustration]
At St. James’s they dine, when, flushed with new wine,
To the Gaming Tables they reel,
Where blacklegs and sharps, often gammon the flats,
As their pockets do presently feel.
Success at first Jerry delighted,
But ere the next morning he found
That his purse was most cleverly lighted
Of nearly Five Thousand Pounds.
SCENE.--_Interior of a fashionable Hell at the West-end of the Town; a
large looking-glass in the flat._
_Enter_ GROOM PORTER _and_ MARKERS.
_G. Porter._ Come, lads, bustle about; play will soon begin--some of the
Pigeons are here already, the Greeks will not be long following.
_Enter_ KATE, SUE, TRIFLE, _and_ GREEN, _the latter with a large patch on
his nose_.
_Kate._ Assist us in this, my dear Trifle, and we ask no more.--The card
we left at the Watchhouse will soon bring our sparks to demand
satisfaction,--you and Green must act the parts of conciliators, and
propose to end the affair in a game of cards; the insight you have given
Green and us into all the arcana of play, will enable us, with the aid of
the servant, to fleece them to admiration; thus we may pursue our plan,
and cure them of this first of vices of Life in London, gaming! and save
their fortune from those who may play for a less disinterested stake.
_Trifle._ I’faith you ought to be very much obliged to me, girls, _pan_
hanour, for letting Green into the secret,--it cost me fiteen cool
thousands, demme! but I’ll assist you.--Green, my dear fa-e-llow, take
your post near the glass while they’re playing; and, by the number of
fingers you hold up, we shall easily know how many honours they have, and
every other particular.
_Green._ Vith the greatest of pleasure.--I suppose I may hold up my thumb
as well as my fingers, may’nt I--because they may have five honours? you
know!
_Sue._ Oh, certainly, Mr. Green--Ah, man, vain glorious man, how easily
art thou duped?
_Trifle._ They come, you must mind your eye, pan hanour, Green.
_Green._ Oh, you shall find me quite avake--I’m glad I got avay and vas’nt
taken to the vatchouse; I was forc’d to give half-a-crown though.
_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC.
_Tom._ Where is this Sir Jeremy Brag? Oh, here you are, Sir--well met.
_Trifle._ Ah, my dear Tom, how are you?
_Green._ My dear Corinthian, how do you do? I’m glad they didn’t put you
in the black ’ole.
_Tom._ Excuse me a moment, Green, I have an affair with this gentleman
that will not admit of a moment’s delay.
_Trifle._ What, my friend, Brag,--honest Sir Jeremy? You musn’t hurt him,
he’s a cursed good fellow.--It must be some mistake.
_Green._ Yes, it must be some mistake.
_Kate._ Entirely a mistake, I assure you--I’m extremely sorry, if that
will give you any satisfaction.
_Tom._ Oh, if you apologize, I’m satisfied; otherwise nothing would have
done, but Chalk Farm! pistols! half-past six! pooh!
_Log._ That’s the time of day my flower.
_Green._ Vell, I’m glad it’s settled without bloodshed--Chalk Farm!
pistols! half-past six, and pooh!
_Jerry._ (_to Green_). Sorry to see your nose in mourning, Green--here,
Waiter, take my hat. (_Gives waiter the Charley’s old beaver to take care
of, who brushes it up ironically, and takes it off_).
_Green._ What say you to burying all differences in a friendly game of
vhist? Trifle and I vill cut out.
_Trifle._ Yes; it’s too great an exertion for me to play, _pan
han-our_--I’m only scarcely endurable to the fatigue of looking on,
_r-e-a-l-y_.
_Tom._ A rubber at whist? I have no objection,
_Jerry._ Nor I--you’ll not find me at fault here, coz--no one is better
skilled in the mystery of the odd trick, than I am, I flatter myself.
_Trifle._ (_To Tom_). Well you and your country friend can pair with Sir
Jeremy and the Captain, and this worthy vegetable, Green, and I will see
fair play, _pan ha_nour.
(_Kate, Sue, Tom and Jerry sit down to cards; Trifle and Green stand
behind them, overlooking Tom’s and Jerry’s hand_).
_Log._ (_Drinking and looking on_). They’ll be done, as sure as my name is
Logic.--Upon that suit some of the best judges in London have been
had.--Inviting a man to a swell dinner, and making him pay five guineas a
mouthful for it afterwards, is no new feature of Life in London--Go it, ye
flats--“_Thus for men the women fair_,” (_singing_). Why, there’s that
fellow giving the office to his pal now: well it’s no business of mine. Go
it my pippins--what, Tom, have you got the uneasiness?--“_What is beauty
but a bait._” (_Sings again_).
_Tom._ (_Rising and throwing down cards_). Oh, if you can’t play better
than that, Jerry, we’d better do nothing at all!
_Log._ (_Singing_). “_Oft repented when too late._”
_Jerry._ Who can play while the Doctor’s singing?
_Log._ I knew how it would be--did you hear anything knock, Tom?
_Jerry._ (_Walks about, and, by mistake, takes Logic’s hat_). Damn the
cards!
_Sue._ (_To Jerry_). Come, sir, never be downhearted, bad luck now, better
another time.
_Jerry._ Indeed! I’m not going to try, though.
_Kate._ Very sorry, Mr. Corinthian--shall be happy to give you your
revenge some other evening!
_Log._ Well, Tom, are you clean’d out?
_Tom._ Clean’d out! both sides; look here--pockets to let!--here have been
two playing four; and we have stood the nonsense in prime style.
_Log._ Well, don’t grumble--every one must pay for his learning--and you
wouldn’t bilk the schoolmaster, would you? But come, I’m getting merry; so
if you wish for a bit of good truth, come with me, and let’s have a dive
among the Cadgers in the Back Slums, in the Holy Land.
_Jerry._ Back Slums--Holy Land!--I’m at fault again.
_Log._ Why, among the beggars in Dyot Street, St. Giles’s.
_Tom._ Beggars! ah, we shall be very good figures for the part. (_Turning
out his pockets_).
_Log._ We must masquerade it there.
_Kate._ (_To Sue, aside_). And so must we--come, Trifle,
[_Exeunt Omnes._
[Illustration: _Billy Waters, Soldier Suke, Ragged Dick, Little Jemmy._]
There’s a difference between a beggar and a queen,
And the reason I’ll tell you why;
A queen cannot swagger, not get drunk like a beggar
Nor be half so happy as I,--as I.
SCENE--_Back Slums in the Holy Land._
MR. JENKINS, SOLDIER SUKE, DINGY BET, LITTLE JEMMY, CREEPING JACK, RAGGED
DICK, _and other well-known Characters discovered_.
SONG.--MR. JENKINS.
AIR.--“_It was one Frosty Morning._”
_Cadgers make holiday,
Hey, for the maunder’s joys,
Let pious ones fast and pray,
They save us the trouble, my boys._
_On the best peck and booze we’ll live,
’Tis fit we their blunt should spend;
For what to us they give,
Tenfold to the saints they lend.
Rumpti bumpti bay, &c._
_With our doxies, great as a Turk,
We taste all life can give;
For who but a slave would work,
When he like a prince might live?
Then lustily call away,
Cadgers keep up the ball,
Never mind what’s to pay,
The public pays for all.
Rumpti, bumpti bay, &c._
(_Omnes Chorus the burthen of the Song--dancing grotesquely_).
_Omnes._ Ha! ha! ha! (_Billy heard without_). Eh! stand aside--here comes
Billy Waters.
_Enter_ BILLY WATERS, _dancing_.
_Billy._ Ah; how do you do, my darley? How you do, Massa Jenkins?--I drink
with you. (_Drinks deep: Jenkins takes the pot away_).--And you Massa
Jack, I drink wid you, too. (_To Creeping Jack_).--Your helt,--your good
helt, ladies! (_Jack takes pot away_).
_Jack._ I say, Billy, you’re biting your name in it.
_Billy._ Yes, me likes to bite my name in such goot stuff as that.
_Mr. J._ Gemman, let’s purceed to business--I’ve got to inform you o’
summat.
_Jack._ Vat’s that ’ere?
_Mr. J._ Vy, that ’ere, is this ’ere--I begs to obsarve that the time is
come when you may all consider yourselves independent gemmen; for if
business should fail, you can at any time retire on a pension now.
_Jack._ As how?
_Mr. J._ As how? Vy, this as how. The Mende-_city_ Society, I believe they
call themselves, have kindly purwided a fund for us gemmen; so, if anybody
offers you less nor a mag, or a duece, vy, you may say with the poet, “Who
vou’d his farthings bear? ven he himself might his quivetus make vith a
bare Bodkin.”
_Omnes._ Bravo!
_Billy._ Dat dam goot--me like dat!--that Bodkin has dam goot point!
_Mr. J._ It was but t’other day they took’d me up; slapp’d a pick-ax
into one of my mauleys, and shov’d a shovel into t’other, and told me to
vork--says I, gemmen, I cant’t vork, cause vy, I’m too veak--so they guv’d
me two bob, and I bolted!
_Beggar._ You did quite right; vell, vile I can get fifteen bob a day by
gammoning a maim, the devil may vork for me. If any lady or gemmen is
inclined for a dance, I’ll nash my arm-props in a minute. (_Throws down
his crutches_).
_Billy._ An I play you de tune in de key of de X, Y, Z.
_Jack._ We haven’t had a better job a long vile nor the shabby genteel
lay. That, and the civil rig, told in a pretty penny--Come, here’s the
ould toast, “Success to Cadging.”
_Omnes._ (_Drinking_). Success to Cadging.
_Mr. J._ Does any gemman understand these here Tread Mills that have got
such a footing?
_Jack._ Silence! Gemmen:--I’m a-going to make a hobservation: Mr. Jenkins
means them there Mills as makes you vork vether there’s any vork or no--I
can only say this here, gemmens, if them there mills are encouraged, it
von’t be vorth no body’s vile to exercise vone’s calling--because, vy, von
may as vell go and vork for one’s living at once--but the subject von’t
bear not no thinking on.
_Omnes._ Not by no means. (_General groans_).
_Billy._ Oh, curse a de tread mill, me no like a de “here we go up, up,
up,” and “down you go down, down, down,” an if you no work, a great lump
of wood come and knock you down so--(_Striking Beggar on head, with
fiddle, who falls down_).
_Beggar._ Oh! he has split my Jemmy!
_Billy._ (_Picking him up_). Poor fellow, him werry sorry, so dere no harm
done. Gemman of de Noah Ark Society, as Little Jemmy here is no starter, I
move he be put in de chair a-top o’ de table.
_Omnes._ Bravo! Jemmy in the chair. (_Jemmy is put on the table_).
_Mr. J._ Silence for the cheer.
_Jemmy._ Gemman, I shall return thanks--here’s all your jolly good
healths, and success to flat catching.
_Omnes._ Bravo! bravo!
SONG.--MR. JENKINS, _and barking chorus of Beggars_.
AIR.--_Bow, Wow, Wow._
_That all men are beggars, ’tis very plain to see,
Tho’ some they are of lowly, and some they are of high degree;
Your ministers of state will say, they never will allow
That kings from subjects beg, but that you know is all bow wow.
Bow wow, wow! fol lol, &c._
_Then let us cadgers be, and take in all the flats we can,
Experience we know full well, my boys, it is that makes the man;
And for experience all should pay, that Billy will allow,
And as for conscience that of old we know is all bow wow.
Bow, wow, wow! fol lol, &c._
_Enter_ KATE, SUE, JANE, TRIFLE, _and_ GREEN, _disguised as Beggars_.
_Sue._ I do not see them here yet.
_Kate._ They’ll not be long, depend on’t,--have I sufficiently disfigured
my charms?
_Sue._ Yes, they cannot surely recognise us in these disguises?
_Trifle._ Dear me, a very dreadful perfume, _pan hanour_--essence of
mendicity--I’m sorry I came.
_Mr. J._ (_To Green_). Halloa, my little ’un?
_Green._ Eh! come you a done now; you a done vith you.
_Mr. J._ Sluice your dominos--vill you?--
_Green._ Vot! I never plays at dominoes--It’s too wulgar.
_Mr. J._ Vy, then vash your ivories?
_Green._ I’ve got no hiveries to vash.
_Mr. J._ Drink, vill you? don’t you understand Hinglish?
_Green._ Eh! drink--quite a gemman, I declare.--(_While Green drinks
Jenkins dances, expectantly_).
_Ragged Jack._ I say, Jenkins has larned to dance since he’s been on the
Mill--vy Jenkins you’ll dance your calves into your shoes if you don’t
mind.
_Mr. J._ (_To Green, looking at pot_). Vy, I say, you’ve been eating red
herrings for dinner, my young un!
_Green._ I vas dry, and that’s the fact on’t.
_Billy._ (_Offering bottle to Sue_). I say, Misses, you drink, eh! my
Buckra Beaudly?
_Jemmy._ Gemman, have you ordered the peck and booze for the evening?
_Sold. Suke._ Aye, aye, I’ve taken care of that--shoulder of veal and
garnish--Turkey and appendleges--Parmesan--Filberds--Port and Madery.
_Billy._ Dat dam goot, me like a de Madery--Landlord, here you give this
bag of broken wittals, vot I had give me to-day, to some genteel dog vot
pass your door: and you make haste wid de supper, you curse devil you!
BEGGAR’S OPERA. TOM, JERRY, AND LOGIC, AMONG THE CADGERS IN THE HOLY LAND.
[Illustration]
Now to keep up the spree, Tom, Jerry, and Logic,
Went disguis’d to the Slums in the Holy Land;
Through each cribb and each court, they hunted for sport,
Till they came to the BEGGAR’S OPERA so nam’d;
But sure such a sight they had never set sight on,
The quintessence of Tag, Rag, and Bob-tail was there:
Outside of the door Black Molly was fighting.
And pulling Mahogany Bet by the hair.
There was cobblers and tailors, sweeps, cadgers, and sailors,
Enough to confound Old Nick with their din;
There was bunters, and ranters and radical chaunters,
Clubbing their half-pence for quarterns of gin.
_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC--_disguised as Beggars, with Placards on
their backs_--TOM’S “_Burnt Out--lost my little all._”--JERRY’S “_Deaf and
Dumb._”--LOGIC’S “_Thirteen Children._” _&c._
_Sue._ Here they are--I know them in spite of their rags.
_Tom._ This, my dear Jerry, is a rich page in the book of life, which will
save you many a pound, by exposing the imposition of street mendicity.--It
almost staggers belief that hypocrisy is so successful, and that the fine
feeling of the heart should become so blunted, as to laugh at the humanity
of those who step forward to relieve them.
_Log._ ’Tis the blunt that does it--but stow magging, Tom, or we shall get
blown.
_Jerry._ Tom, here’s a group of blackbeetles--do you see those lovely
mendicants?
_Tom._ Beauty in rags--I do--Cupid imploring charity, I’ll relieve him,
for I’ll be after that match-girl directly.
_Jerry._ And I’ll chant a few words to that beautiful ballad-singer.
_Log._ And I’ll take pity on that charming beggar.
SONG OF THE CADGERS IN THE HOLY LAND.
_Come, let us dance and sing,
While fam’d St. Giles’ bells shall ring,
Black Billy scrapes the fiddle strings,
Little Jemmy fills the Chair.
Frisk away, let’s be gay,
This is Cadger’s holiday;
While knaves are thinking, we are drinking,
Bring in more gin and beer.
Come, let us dance and sing, &c._
_Here’s Dough-boy Bet, and Silver Sall,
Lushy Bob, and Yankee Moll,
And Suke, as black as any pall,
The pinks of the Holy Land.
Now, merry, merry, let us be,
There’s none more happier sure than we,
For what we get we spend it free,
As all must understand!
Come, let us dance, &c._
_Now he that would merry be,
Let him drink and sing as we,
In palaces you shall not see,
Such happiness as here.
Then booze about, our cash an’t out,
Here’s sixpence in a dirty clout;
Come landlord bring us in more stout,
Our pension-time draws near.
Come, let us dance, &c._
_Enter_ LANDLORD _with supper_.
_Land._ Now, your honours, here’s the rum peck, here’s the supper.
_Billy._ Eh, de supper! de supper! come along, (_After striking Creeping
Jack on fingers with knife_). You damn nasty dog! what for you put your
dirty fingers in de gravy? you call that gentlemans? you want your finger
in de pie, now you got him there!
_Jack._ I only wish’d to taste the stuffining.
_Billy._ And now you taste de carver knife instead! (_takes candle, and
looks at supper_). Vy, what him call dis?
_Land._ Why, the turkey and the pie, to be sure.
_Billy._ De turkey and de pie! I tink you said de turkey and de
pie,--what! de turkey without de sassinger! him shock--him wouldn’t give
pin for turkey without dem--me like a de Alderman in chain.
_Land._ I’m very sorry, Mr. Waters, but--
_Billy._ You sorry! I’m sorry for my supper, you damn dog.
_Mr. J._ (_To Landlord_). Vhat! sarve up a turkey without
sassiges,--you’re a nice man I don’t think.
_Jack._ (_To Landlord_). I tell you vhat, young man, vhen you talk to
gemmen, larn to take off your hat.
_Jemmy._ Vy there’s no lemon to the weal, nor hoyster sasse to the rump
stakes.--It’s shocking, infamous neglect, that’s vot it is.
_Mr. J._ (_To Landlord_). Vy, who do you suppose would eat rump stakes
without ayesters? I’ve a great mind to smash your countenance for
you!--You ought to have your head punched you ought!
_Jemmy._ Here’s no filberds to the Port, nor devils to the Madery, nather.
_Land._ Egad, I think there’s devils enough to it. (_Aside_). Gentlemen,
the deficiencies shall be supplied directly. (_He is hunted off_).
_Mr. J._ Hit him; he’s got no friends.
_Jemmy._ We must go to some hother tavern, if we’re neglected in this here
manner.
_Mr. J._ You may do as you please, gemmen, but for my part, I shall
certainly use some other _hotel_.
_Billy._ You perfectly right, Massa Jenkins, we must use some other
hot-hell.
_Jerry._ (_To Sue, she having attracted his attention_). And so you sell
ballads, eh?
_Sue._ Yes, Sir, three a penny; but if you like to take twelve, I’ll make
you an allowance.
_Jerry._ Oh, I’ll have the allowance by all means.
_Sue._ (_Singing_).
“_Relieve my woes, my wants distressing;
And Heaven reward you with its blessing._”
_Jerry._ Enchanting vagrant! come here, and let me bargain with you.
(_Takes Sue aside_).
_Tom._ (_To Kate, bringing her down_, C.--_in like manner_). And so you
make matches, do you?
_Kate._ Yes!--as you’ll find out by and by. (_Aside_).
_Tom._ But ’ant these brimstone dealings contagious? you little flower
of--hum-um-um---- (_Takes her up in a corner_).
_Log._ (_To Jane, bringing her down_ R.--) You’ve moved me so, that I
could bestow every mag I’ve got, you beautiful beggar, I could.
(_Knocking without_).
_Enter_ LANDLORD, _running_, L,----_Previously to which, Kate and Sue
have, unobserved, given beggars money, and entered into communication with
them pointing aside to Tom, Jerry and Logic._
_Billy._ Vat de matter, vat broke, eh? (_To Landlord_).
_Land._ Gentlemen vagabonds; the traps are abroad, and half a thousand
beadle and beaksmen are now about the door.
_Billy._ De beak! oh curse a de beak!
_Jemmy._ Gemmen! gemmen! (_Knocking on table to command attention_).
_Jack._ Silence for the chair!
_Jemmy._ Put out the lights, put out the lights, every one shift for
himself. Here, Bob, carry me up the ladder, good luck to you do, Bob.
_Billy._ Landlord! landlord, you dog! which door de beak come in at.
_Land._ At the front.
_Billy._ Vy, den carry me out at de back door, you Dick.
[_He and Jemmy are carried out.--Lights are put out--General
consternation._
FINALE.--TOM, JERRY, LOGIC, SUE, KATE, JANE, MR. JENKINS, CREEPING JACK,
_and_ BEGGARS.
AIR.--“_Zitti, Zitti--Piano, Piano!_”
_Mr. Jenkins._
_Up the ladder, softly creeping,
Let us gently steal away,
Traps without their watch are keeping,
There we’ll let the rascals stay._
_Creeping Jack._
_Traps without, their watch are keeping,
Tread softly; no delay;
Up the ladder slily creeping
Through the back door and away._
_Tom, Jerry, Logic, Kate, Sue, and Jane._
_To my arms, love, softly creeping,
To bliss we’ll steal away;
Suspense ’tis idle keeping,
Seize pleasure while you may._
_Where are you? where are you?
To my arms, love, softly creeping,
To bliss we’ll steal away,
Softly, softly; lightly, lightly; away; away! away!_
_Kate, Sue, and Jane, as Tom, Jerry, and Logic advance, attracted by their
voices, adroitly substitute Dingy Bet, Soldier Suke, and another, in the
places of themselves.--Drop falls on Tom, Jerry, and Logic, carrying their
beggarly bargains off in great exultation.--Kate, Sue, and Jane enjoying
the joke in the background._
JERRY LEARNING TO SPAR.
[Illustration]
Now Jerry’s become a fancy blade,
To Jackson’s he often goes
And to shew his skill in the milling trade,
He crack’d poor Logic’s nose.
He gloried in having a turn-up,
And was always the first in a lark,
To bang and wallop the Charlies,
And pommel them in the dark.
SCENE.--_Jackson’s Rooms, in Bond Street.--Tom, Jerry, and Logic
discovered._
_Life in London with us is a round of delight;
It is larking all day, sprees and rambles all night;
Tom, Jerry, and Logic have ever the best
Of the coves in the East, and the swells in the West;
Such pals in a turn-up, so bang up and merry,
As Jerry, Tom, Logic--Tom, Logic, and Jerry,
Ne’er was seen, since the world first by Noah was undone,
So here’s Logic’s, Jerry’s, and Tom’s Life in London!_
_Tom._ We are, indeed, a regular trio; every part well harmonised.
_Log._ Ay, all sharps! not a flat or a natural among us.
_Jerry._ I don’t think we were so very sharp last night, though, when we
suffered ourselves to be made such apes of in Noah’s Ark.
_Tom._ You are right, Jerry, we are all at fault here; instead of clasping
in my arms my pretty timber merchant--judge my horror, when on approaching
a parish lamp, I found myself hugging that duchess of the dust-hole--Dingy
Bet.
_Log._ I was served quite as badly--instead of my seraphic street
solicitor, I found myself carrying on the war with Soldier Suke.
_Tom._ Worse and worse, who did you make yourself agreeable to, eh, Jerry?
_Jerry._ I beg you won’t mention it!
_Tom._ Let’s think no more on’t; the tables were fairly turned upon us,
and we mustn’t grumble--we have now stepp’d into Jackson’s rooms to decide
the bet with Logic as to our weight; and as he has won it, let’s be
going--but stop, before we go, what say you to a bout with the foils?
_Jerry._ No go, Tom,--I’m fly--it’s a bad spec; I am not going to expose
my ignorance of fencing here--but as far as a bout at single-sticks
goes--why I have no objection.
_Tom._ Bob will accommodate; won’t you, Bob? come, Doctor, you must have a
turn--one small taste.
_Log._ No go! no, no, Mr. Somerset, you’re a downy one at that sport--it
won’t fit.
_Tom._ Positively you shall, Bob--come the least taste.
_Log._ Well, well! I won’t baulk your fancy, as you seem bent upon
sport--but mind, only one bout.
_Jerry._ No; one will be sufficient. (_They place themselves in
position_).
_Tom._ Holloa, Jerry, don’t swallow him.
_Log._ Use me gently, I’m but a green at this.
_Tom._ Now, then, come up to the scratch. (_They play; Jerry makes a hit;
Logic parries_).
_Tom._ Well stopp’d--uncommon well, Bob.
_Log._ Do you think so; but, I say, none of your chaffing.
_Tom._ Now, really--
_Jerry._ Yes, yes, he’s up.
_Log._ Hum, I don’t think it was so much amiss myself.
_Jerry._ Now, Doctor, take care of your bread-basket--eyes right, look to
your napper.
_Tom._ Ay, ay, be leary, Bob, take care of your ribs--mind your pipkin--be
down on your pimple. (_They play a second bout; Jerry breaks Logic’s
head_).
_Tom._ I say, Bob, did you hear anything knock?
_Log._ Yes; and nobody at home.
_Jerry._ Doctor! I touch’d your knowledge box there, I think.
_Log._ Touch’d it, zounds! you’ve broken it, Jerry, but it must have been
cracked before, or I should never have entered the lists with you.
Brown-paper and vinegar for one.
[_Exit._
SCENE IN A GIN SHOP.
[Illustration]
Here some are tumbling and jumping in,
And some are staggering out;
One’s pawn’d her smock for a quarten of gin,
Another, her husband’s coat.
Behold, Mr. Tom and Jerry,
Have got an old woman in tow,
They sluic’d her with gin, ’till she reel’d on her pins,
And was haul’d off to quod for a row.
SCENE.--INTERIOR OF A LONDON GIN SHOP.
TOM _and_ JERRY _taking_ BLUE RUIN, _after the_ SPELL _is broken up_.
TOM is _sluicing_ the _ivories_ of some of the unfortunate heroines with
blue ruin, whom the breaking up of the SPELL _has turned-up_ without any
luck, in order to send them to their _pannies_ full of _spirits_. JERRY is
in _Tip Street_ on this occasion, and the _Mollishers_ are all _nutty_
upon him; putting it about, one to another, that he is a _well breeched_
SWELL. FAT BET is pretending to TOM, that she had a great objection to
every sort of _ruin_, no matter how _coloured_, since she had once been
_queered_ upon that suit. SWIPY BILL, _a translator of Soles_, who has
been out for a day’s _fuddle_, for fear his money should become too
troublesome to him, has just called in at the _Gin Spinner’s_ to get rid
of his last _duce_, by way of a finish, and to have another drop of _blue
ruin_. This last glass would have _floored_ him, had it not been for the
large butt of liquor which he staggered against. Hiccoughing, he swears
“he’ll stand by OLD TOM while he has a _sole_ left to support such a good
fellow.”
[Illustration]
GIN, GIN, SWEET, SWEET GIN!
AIR.--_Home, Sweet Home._
Walk through London town, in Alley, Lane or Street,
Eight to ten of all the folks you overtake or meet,
List to what they talk about, you’ll find amid the din,
The end of every conversation is a drop of Gin.
Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin,
There’s no drops like Gin.
When the world was young, as we read in classic page,
The shepherds drank the purling stream, and pass’d the golden age;
For purling streams or golden age folks now don’t care a pin,
So that they can raise the brass to keep this age of Gin.
Gin, Gin, Hodge’s Gin, &c.
When the weather’s cold and bleak--in rain and frost and snow,
The Gin, the Gin they fly to, to warm them with its glow.
In summer time, to cool their heat, we see them all flock in
And joy or sorrow, heat or cold, all seek relief in Gin.
Gin, Gin, Seager and Evans’s Gin, &c.
[Illustration]
BATTLE OF--_A GIN COURT!_
Sir Richard Burnie sad, declares that never in his time,
Was seen so much depravity, want, misery and crime;
And all the brawls--the roitings--the day and nightly din,
Are caused by what he never tasted! filthy! horrid Gin!
Gin, Gin, Booth’s Cordial Gin, &c.
In India, when a Husband dies--the Widow ne’er can smile,
She’s burnt alive, a sacrifice, upon her husband’s pile;
In London many Wives and Widows deem it not a sin,
To sacrifice and burn themselves alive with fire of Gin.
Gin, Gin, Sir Robert Burnett’s Gin, &c.
Decrepit age with furrow’d face, and one foot in the grave,
Hobbles on his crutches, and for a drop does crave;
Infants, e’er they plainly talk, perk up each little chin
And cry, oh mammy, daddy, baby ’ont a d’op o’ din.
Gin, Gin, Currie’s strong Gin, &c.
[Illustration]
GIN LANE.
In former times we’d Goblins, Fairies, Witches, Ghosts and Sprites,
Who ruled the people’s minds by day, and play’d sad pranks o’ nights;
But now the tales of Ghosts and such the people can’t take in
They won’t believe in Spirits, yet put all their faith in Gin.
Gin, Gin, Gaitskell’s Cordial Gin, &c.
In the Reign of old Queen Bess good eating did prevail,
Her Majesty and all the Court would breakfast on strong ale;
But now through every Court, the folk the fashion to be in,
Would _ail_ all day, unless ’fore breakfast they could take some Gin.
Gin, Gin, renovating Gin, &c.
Old women used to cheer their hearts and found it did agree,
By sometimes taking with a friend a cup _too_ much of tea;
But now they’re much more _spirited_--for tea don’t care a pin,
And only use their tea pots for a cup _too much_ of Gin.
Gin, Gin, tongue-relaxing Gin, &c.
[Illustration]
GIN AND BITTERS.
Fighters take a “_a shove in the mouth_,” though it is their bane,
Jack Ketch often has a “_drop_”--Scavengers a “_drain_”;
Pris’ners “_half a yard of tape_” to get in merry pin
And Actors oft get “_mellow_” with a “_mellow dram_” of Gin.
Gin, Gin, Tragic, Comic Gin, &c.
Thompson’s shop on Holborn Hill is crowded like a fair,
All the taps continually running out are there;
Swing swang go the doors, while some pop out and some pop in,
Foreigners must surely think that John Bull lives on Gin.
Gin, Gin, dear seductive gin, &c.
This World was once deluged by water, drowning Son & Sire,
But when it is destroy’d again, we read ’twill be by fire;
And this must be the awful time, so prevalent is sin,
As all the wicked world do burn their insides out with Gin.
Gin, Gin, life-inspiring Gin, &c.
TOM AND JERRY CATCHING KATE AND SUE ON THE SLY HAVING THEIR FORTUNES TOLD.
[Illustration]
Here lives a Fortune-Telling Gipsy,
Wrinkled, crabbed, grim and old:
And Tom and Jerry’s fancy ladies
Are gone to get their Fortunes told.
They slily view’d them, and pursued them,
For to have some glorious fun.
Behind the curtain, see them sporting,
This is life in London Town.
SCENE.--_Interior of Fortune Teller’s Garret._
_Enter_ JANE, KATE, SUE, TRIFLE, GREEN, _and_ LANDLORD.
GLEE.--_Omnes._
AIR.--“_Who has seen the Miller’s Wife._”
_Jane, Kate, Sue, Trifle, and Green.
Have you the Fortune Teller seen?
I, I for hours have waiting been;
A shilling o’er her palm I’ll pass
If she’ll but look in Fortune’s glass.
Have you, &c._
_Land._ Oh, here she comes at last.
_Enter_ FORTUNE TELLER.
_Land._ Now mother, stir your stumps; here are two ladies waiting for you,
and half a score more below.
_F. Teller._ Aye, aye! I turn hundreds away.
_Green._ Vhat an orrid hooman!
_F. Teller._ You must leave the room, gentlemen, (_To Green and Trifle_),
my charms never hold good in the presence of a third person.
_Sue._ You hear, Mr. Green, her charms never hold good in the presence of
a third person.
_Green._ I should vondor if they did--Her charms! Lord--I can take an int;
I’m to go--wery vell, I shall absconce--Vat an ugly old vitch!
_Trifle._ (_To Girls_). We shall meet again at Logic’s, so I’ll leave you
with the particularly frightful old hag, _pan ha_nour--demme!
[_Exeunt Green, Trifle, and Landlord._
_F. Teller._ (_Sitting at Table_). Now then, young women. I’ll tell
you--I’ll tell you--but you must let me shuffle the cards first!
(_Produces cards_) For its all done by shuffling! now then, cut them,
Miss. (_Sue cuts cards_).
_Kate._ Let us sit down while we stay--rather short of furniture; but
never mind, we must make shift.
(_Turns down chair lengthways to sit; she sits on one side, Sue on the
other--Sue is nearly let down by Kate suddenly rising_).
_F. Teller._ (_Looking over cards_). Hey day! what have we here? You’ll be
married soon.
_Sue._ I hope so, with all my heart!
_F. Teller._ There’s a fair man been paying some attention to you,
lately--Hum! a cradle--three!--nine!--fourteen!--have a large family.
_Sue._ Fourteen! mercy on me!
_Kate._ Enough to make one faint!
_F. Teller._ There’s nothing more that I see at present.
_Sue._ Nor there hadn’t need been; if I’m to have fourteen children, I
think I’ve heard quite enough.
_F. Teller._ (_To Kate_). Now, Miss, I’ll tell you your fortune; how many
husbands, and how many children, and all about it--all about it.
_Kate._ But I don’t want to hear “all about it.” (_Imitating her_). I only
want a peep into your magic mirror, and see who I’m to marry.
_F. Teller._ You should have told me that before, I always charge more for
that, but I suppose I must throw it you in! Now, then, stand there; and be
very still!----
(_Music.--Fortune teller places Kate and Sue in position at off end of the
stage--then advances to cabinet--waves her crutch; pulls curtain aside,
and discovers a large glass--Landlord passes rapidly behind_).
There! I told you I’d show him to you!
_Kate._ Wonderful! why that’s the man that opened the door to us! (_Aside
to Sue_).
_F. Teller._ Now, Miss, I’ll show you your sweetheart!
(_Music and ceremony as before:--Landlord repasses contrary way_).
_Kate._ Ha, ha, ha! that’s the same man again! We’re both to marry the
same husband!
_Sue._ Amazingly agreeable!
_Kate._ The old impostor!--Well, now you’ve told us our fortune; can’t you
tell your own? (_To Fortune Teller_).
_F. Teller._ No, no--I have no power over my own stars.
_Kate._ Then I’ll tell it for you--In half an hour, unless you make good
use of your time, you’ll have a visit from Union Hall.
_F. Teller._ O, dear me! It’s lucky I’ve a handy cockloft, and a safe way
over the houses--I’ll be off directly, I’ll be off directly! (_Throws down
crutch, cloak, &c., and exits hastily_).
_Kate._ “I’ll be off directly, off directly.” (_Imitating Fortune
Teller_). Ha, ha, ha!--She left all her things behind her!--We can now set
up in business for ourselves.
_Enter_ JANE _hastily_, L.
_Jane._ Oh, my dear girls, as I was keeping watch below, I saw Tom and
Jerry coming down the street, and making for this very house--depend on’t
they have traced you here.
_Kate._ What’s to be done?--Tom and Jerry!
_Sue._ Jerry and Tom coming here! (_Running about in confusion.--Knocking
at door_).
_Jane._ Don’t keep running about there, as if you were out of your senses,
but listen to me--get behind that glass and leave me to manage; I’ll play
the Fortune Teller, now!--Help me on with the things--there! there! that
will do; now then, away with you!
(_They hide behind Cabinet, after disguising Jane_).
_Tom._ (_As entering_). Come, Jerry, here they--Eh!--not here!--well, we
won’t have our walk for nothing--Let’s quiz the old one a bit. I say,
Mother Mummery, can you tell our fortunes for us?
_Jane._ (_As old woman_). Oh, yes; but you must cross my hand first.
_Tom._ She wants the tippery--there--(_Gives money_). There, that’s the
figure, Jerry.
_Jane._ (_Looks at Jerry_). Now, Sir!
_Jerry._ Oh! must I fork out, too. (_Gives money_)
_Jane._ (_Looking at their palms_). Dear me!--dear me!
_Tom._ You said that before, you know.
_Jane._ You’ve been sad rakes--sad rakes indeed!
_Tom._ (_Imitating her_). Have we, indeed?
_Jerry._ Why, you witch of Endor!
_Tom._ What! can the devil speak?--but come, I’ll find you out at once. I
conjure you by that which you profess, how’er you come to know it. Answer
me, though you untie the winds! unveil your magic mirror, and show us the
images of the women we are to marry. Come up with your little machine.
_Whew!_ appear--appear!--they won’t come!
_Jane._ I must have a little more money first!
_Tom._ Why, you old cormorant! more blunt, eh? there-- (_Gives money_).
_Jane._ There, then!
(_Draws Curtain; Kate and Sue appear behind it in their own dresses; Jane
slips away_).
_Tom._ Well, Jerry, what do you see?
_Jerry._ (_Going up to glass_). Susan Rosebud!--astonishing.----
_Tom._ Susan Rosebud! Oh, my dear Jerry, your ogles must be queer! (_Goes
up; sees Kate_). My Kate! by all that’s miraculous! Where is the juggling
hag? (_Looking for Jane_). Why, she’s mizzled! Holloa, Mother Damnable!
Oh, there’s some mystery in the infernal mirror, which thus I solve!
_Jerry._ What are you about, Tom?
_Tom._ I’m going to mill the glaze--I’ll----
(_Is about to break the glass, when Kate and Sue appear as the Miss
Trifles_).
_Tom._ The Miss Trifles! by all that’s----
JANE, KATE, _and_ SUE _come forward_.
_Kate._ Ha, ha! fairly caught, upon my word. (_Retires up the stage, then
says aside to Jane and Sue_). Now girls it is time we should bring our
plans to a conclusion. Logic’s imprudent ramblings have involved him in
difficulties which, unless timely met, must terminate in ruin. I have
bought up most of his debts; and in the midst of the gaiety of this
evening, it is my intention to have him arrested and conveyed to prison. I
have sent the officer my card of invitation, that he may be sure to gain
admittance. This will open the eyes of the thoughtless trio, and enable us
to put the money we took in trust at the gambling-house to its proper use;
so let’s away, and about it straight.
[_They run off._]
SCENE.--MR. MACE’S CRIB. “ALL MAX” IN THE EAST.[33]
“Oh! for a glass of Max.”--_Byron’s Don Juan._
_A plague on those malty cove fellows,
Who’d have us in spirits relax;
Drink, they say, and you’ll ne’er burn the bellows,
Half-water instead of all max;
A glass of good max, had they twigg’d it,
Would have made them, like us, lads of wax;
For Sal swigg’d, and Dick swigg’d,
And Bob swigg’d, and Nick swigg’d.
And I’ve swigg’d, and we’ve all of us swigg’d it,
And, by Jingo, there’s nothing like max.
All-Max!
By Jingo, there’s nothing like max!_
Here the _tag-rag_ and _bob-tail_ squad who do not care how the _blunt_
comes or how it goes. _Togs_ or no _togs_! but nevertheless, who must live
at any price, and see a “_bit of life_,” let the world jog on how it will;
yet who can drop a _tear_ upon a sorrowful event--_laugh_ heartily at
fun--_shake_ with cold--_perspire_ with heat--and go to _roost_ much
sounder upon a dust-hill than many of the _swells_ can _snooze_ upon their
feather _dabs_; likewise in comparing _notes_, feel happy in the
presumption that there are hundreds worse off in society than themselves.
_Enter_ SAILORS, DUSTY BOB, AFRICAN SAL, MAHOGANY MARY, MRS. _and_ MISS
LILLYWHITE, ROSIN, &c., &c., _with gin measures, drinking--Mr. Mace in
attendance_.
_Bob._ Now, landlord, ’arter that ’ere drap of max, suppose ve have a
drain o’ heavy vet, just by vay of cooling our chaffers--mine’s as dry as
a chip--and, I say, do you hear, let’s have a twopenny burster, half a
quarten of bees’ vax, a ha’p’orth o’ ingens, and a dollop o’ salt along
vith it, vill you?
_Mace._ Here, Waiter! a burster and bees’vax--ingens and salt here.
(_Calling as he fetches the porter from the side wing_). Now, then, here
you are, Muster Grimmuzzle. (_Holding out his right hand for the money,
and keeping the porter away with the other_).
_Bob._ That’s your sort; give us hold on it. (_Takes Mace’s empty hand_).
Vy, vhere?
_Mace._ (_Keeping the porter back_). Vy, here.
_Bob._ Oh, you are afeard of the blunt, are you?
_Mace._ No, it ain’t that; only I’m no schollard--so I always takes the
blunt with von hand, and gives the pot vith t’other. It saves chalk and
prewents mistakes, you know.
_Bob._ Now then for the stumpy. (_Searching about in his pockets for the
money_). My tanners are like young colts; I’m obliged to hunt ’em into a
corner, afore I can get hold on ’em--there! hand us over three browns out
o’ that ’ere tizzy; and tip us the heavy. (_Landlord receives money and
delivers porter_). Vy don’t you fill the pot? Likes to have a head on the
pot.
_Mace._ How can you have a head on the pot, vhen the chill’s off?
_Bob._ Vell, then let me have the next vith the chill on, vill you? (_Bob
drinks_).
_Sal._ You leave some for me, Massa Bob. (_Drinks and empties the pot_).
_Bob._ Vy, Sarah, you seems fond on it--likes to see the end, eh?
(_Bob sits down on one stool and pulls another to the front of him on
which he arranges the bread, cheese, onions, &c., then tearing open the
loaf discovers a live mouse which he holds up by the tail, and walking up
to Mr. Mace, says_:--
I say guv’nor I didn’t axe ye for a hanimated sandvitch did I?
_Mace._ Oh! you is allus so werry partic’lar some times you is. But I say
ladies and gemmen, I hopes for the harmony of the evening, you’ll not be
back’ards in handing out your mags and duces to the teazer of the catgut
here.
_Bob._ Aye, aye!--lend us a tanner on the bell, vill you?
_Mace._ Lend you a tanner on the bell?--It’s vhat I don’t like, Muster
Bob; highly improper--you know I’ve a wery great objection to anything of
the kind; however, for vonce, I suppose I must; though it ’aint right--but
talking o’ that, I begs leave to hint, that I trusts heavy vet von’t be
the order of the evening!:--
_Tom._ (_Without_).--No, no, damn up stairs, we’ll go in here.
_Mace._ Zounds, I hope no traps isn’t abroad, and that there ’aint any
beaksmen out on the nose!
_Sal._ (_Looking out_). Law, lovee, no, it’s only some gemmen out on the
spree--I dare say dat dey’ll stand a drop o’ summat all round.
_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC.
_Tom._ Now, my dear Jerry, here we are amongst the unsophisticated sons
and daughters of nature, at All Max in the East. Let the West boast of
their highfliers as they will, you’ll find there are still some choice
creatures of Society left here.
_Log._ What, my lily! here take a drop of mother’s milk. (_Gives black
child gin out of a measure he has received from Landlord_). Landlord, let
every one have a glass of what they like best, at our cost.
_Mace._ Regular trumps! I can charge vhat I likes here. (_Aside_). Now,
Muster Bob, vhat’ll you take?
_Bob._ Oh, ax my Sal.
_Mace._ Now, Marm Sal, give it a name!
_Sal._ Vy, bring me de kwarten of de Fuller’s earth.
_Tom._ Come, it shall be a night of revelry, my
pippins--Song--Dance--everything in the world!
_Mace._ Aye! a jig, a jig!--Remove the stand-stills--sit down, gemmen. Ve
shall be as merry as mudlarks, and as gay as sand-boys soon--It’s a poor
heart vhat never rejoices. Come, Muster Grimmuzzle, vhat say you to a
minnyvit vith your ould lady in mourning, here.
_Bob._ Vith all my heart; I am never backward at any thing of that ’ere
sort; am I Sal?
_Sal._ Dat you not, Massa Bob.--Massa Fiddler, you ought to be shame; your
fiddle drunk, and no play at all.
_Log._ I’ll gin him a little, my Snow-ball; then he’ll rasp away like a
young one; won’t you, my old one? (_Gives Fiddler gin and snuff_).
_Bob._ ‘Snowball,’--come, let’s have none o’your sinnywations, Mister
Barnacles; she’s none the vurser, though she is a little blackish or so!
_Log._ Here, Landlord, more Blue Ruin, my boy!
_Tom._ Ceremonies are not in use here, so there’s no occasion for the
master of them, Come, start off, my rum ones! the double shuffle.
_Jerry._ Aye, aye! come it strong my regulars.
[Illustration]
COMIC PAS DEUX--DUSTY BOB _and_ BLACK SAL.
_Accompanied by Rosin, on his cracked Cremona, and Jerry on a pair of
Tongs, to the Air--“Jack’s alive.” In the course of the Pas Deux, Sal, by
way of a variation, and in the fulness of her spirits, keeps twirling
about: at the same time going round the Stage--Bob runs after her, with
his hat in his hand, crying “Sarah! vy, Sarah, ’aint you well?” &c.--The
black child seeing this, and thinking there is something the matter with
its mother, also squalls violently; stretching its arms towards her: at
length, Sal, becoming tired of her vagaries, sets to Bob, who exclaims,
“Oh! it’s all right!” and the dance concludes._
_Jerry._ That would do honour to any crib; there’s nothing like pairing
off according to fancy. You’re quite fly to the trotter shaking
department, I see, my rum one!
_Tom._ To be sure he is a regular gravel digger; come, Sal, my lily.
(_Gives Sal gin_).
_Bob._ Vy, Sarah, vere’s your manners; vy don’t you kurchy to the gemman?
_Sal._ Me do dat de second time. (_Receives another glass_). Your good
helts, gemmen all. (_Drinks_).
_Tom._ Here, Dusty, my prince, now then, sluice your bolt. (_Gives Bob
gin_).
_Bob._ Vell, your honours, here’s your luck. (_Bolts gin_). That’s a
regular kwortern, I knows by my mouth.
_Tom._ There’s a swallow, Jerry, this fellow is a perfect mop.
_Jerry._ Now, Doctor, we must think of starting--Eh!--zounds! what’s the
matter with you? (_To Logic_).
_Log._ I’ve left off drinking in a great measure.
(_Merry and singing_). “_There’s a difference between_,” _&c., &c._
_Jerry._ Tom, see how snugly Captain Lushington’s getting abroad of Logic.
Come, my boy.
_Tom._ Remember your appointment with the ladies.
_Log._ I do like this fiddle, I will have this fiddle. (_Pulling Fiddler
along_).
_Tom._ Eh, zounds, Doctor, you’re going to smug the fiddler, and prig the
pewter. (_Taking gin measure away from him_). Now then, what’s to pay,
landlord?
_Mace._ All out, vill be fourteen bob and a kick, your honour.
_Tom._ Well, there’s a flimsy for you; serve the change out in max to the
coves and covesses. (_Gives money_).
_Mace._ Thank your honour--and good luck to you.
_Tom._ Now then, Doctor, this way, my boy; come, come along.
_Log._ (_Singing_). “_A Queen she cannot swagger._” I will have this
fiddle--“_nor get drunk like a beggar_.”--More max here--“_Nor be half so
merry as I_.”
[_Logic becoming obstreperous, they partly force him off, and exeunt with
him._]
_Mace._ Regular out-and-outers those ’ere! quite gemmen--I’ve stuck it
into ’em a bit! (_Aside_).
_Bob._ Aye, ay, ve knows it! vith the chill off!--you’re an out-and-out
_Stringer_, you are!
_Mace._ So I don’t mind standing a trifle of summat all round, just by way
of drinking their healths; and vhen ve’ve had the liquor, ve’ll kick up a
reel, and all go to our dabs.
_Bob._ Ay ay! but before that, mind you get us a bit of grub for me and my
Sal--about a pound and a half of rump steak--
_Sal._ No, two pound Massa Bob, for her rather peckish.
_Bob._ Very vell, two pound, vith a pickled cowcumber, and a pen’orth o’
ketchup, to make some gravy of; and stick it up to the bell!--d’ye hear?
_Mace._ You’ll melt that ’ere bell if you don’t mind, Muster Bob; this is
vhat I don’t like--vhy don’t you always take care and bring plenty of
money in your pockets?--You know I’m wery particular in things of this
here kind!--though I don’t mind obliging _you_----
_Bob._ Ay, ay, vith the chill off, I knows!--but it’s all right--must have
the bell in the morning, you know, even if I spout the togs for it.
_Mace._ Now then, strike up, my beauty!
_Bob._ Aye, aye, pull it out, my pink!
[_Comic Characteristic Reel by all the Characters; who, under the
influence of All Max, at last reel off._]
POOR LOGIC IN THE FLEET PRISON.
[Illustration]
All in the Fleet poor Logic’s moor’d
His swaggering’s now at an end!
And Tom and Jerry are gone on board,
Their friendly assistance to lend.
Now, all their sprees and gambols are closed
For Logic has vow’d and swore
When he’s from Limbo safe loosed,
He’ll marry----and rake no more.
SCENE.--_Interior of Whistling Shop; Master and Mistress of Whistling
Shop--Racket players--Poor Tradesman, Smuggler, and Debtors discovered._
CHORUS.--(_Omnes_).
_All in the fleet we’re safely moor’d,
But while we’ve trusty pals on board,
Law may to
The devil go;
Then, brother Debtors, sport and play._
_Let tempests whistle as they will,
Our Whistling Shops will drown them still;
A yard of tape
Will prove the Cape.
And drive each thought of care away,
Tol de rol._
_Enter_ TURNKEY _and_ LOGIC.
_Turn._ Here’s Doctor Logic come to pay you a visit, gentlemen--You’ll get
good accommodation here, Sir; and find some regular trumps among ’em.
_Log._ Thank’ye.----
_Turnkey._ Is that all?--Only thank’ye?
_Log._ Oh, want some tippery! (_Gives money_). There! (_Exit
Turnkey_)--Brothers, your most obedient. Some of my friends, thinking my
learning was not complete, have sent me to your College to finish my
education; not that I owe anything!--
_Omnes._ Oh, no!--we none of us owe anything!--Oh! dear no.
_Log._ I’m only here on suspicion of debt.
_Omnes._ That’s the case with all of us!--we’re all of us only here on
suspicion!
_Log._ You’ll not find me a bad chum--but ready to hunt down any game you
can start. Landlady, serve them with a glass of tape, all round; and I’ll
stand Sammy--
_Omnes._ A regular trump! (_Landlady serves them all with liquor, out of a
bladder, as directed; Logic pays_).
_Smug._ Well, while I can blow my cloud, and get a drop on the sly, I sets
the Excise at defiance. What’s a little smuggling?
_Poor T._ (_Aside_). Could I have conveyed the value of that liquor to my
wife and children, it might have saved them another day from starvation!
_Log._ (_Overhearing_). What! hard up!--wife and children starving!--that
sha’n’t be while Bob Logic has a quid left.--Here, my honest fellow, go
fill their bellies and make them happy. (_Gives money_).
_Poor T._ May heaven bless you, Sir--you know not half the good you have
done!
[_Exit poor T._]
_Log._ No: but I know one thing enough, and that is, the value of money--a
prison is the only place to learn that in; and if ever I get out again----
_Enter_ TOM _and_ JERRY.
_Log._ Ah, Tom and Jerry! my boys! this is kind indeed!
_Tom._ Never desert an old pal in limbo, Bob; but when you get safe out of
the river tick, take my advice, look _into_ not _over_ your affairs; if
young men would but deign to consider this, would but, in the flowery
wilds of pleasure, cast one glance at the guiding star of prudence--their
pockets would be more full, and the prisons of the law more empty.
_Log._ Never doubt me, Tom--but welcome to ‘Freshwater Bay,’ to my new
settlement on board the Never-Wag man of war;--homeward station--forced to
be on good _terms_ with others, if I am not with myself----
_Jerry._ Still as lively as ever, eh, Doctor?
_Log._ And so will you be when the haberdasher has served you with a good
yard of tape.
_Jerry._ ‘Haberdasher! Tape!’ I’m at fault again.
_Logic._ The haberdasher is the whistler, otherwise the spirit-merchant
Jerry--and tape the commodity he deals in--It’s a contrabrand article
here--white is Max, and red is Cognac.
_Jerry._ Then give me a yard and a half of red, if you please. (_Landlady
gives Jerry liquor_).
_Enter_ TURNKEY, _with a letter_.
_Turn._ Here’s a stiffener for you, Doctor!----
_Log._ A letter for me!----
_Turn._ It ’aint paid for.
_Log._ More tip, eh! (_Pays him_). This fellow’s a regular leech! you
never use any chalk here?
_Turn._ Can’t afford it; besides it ain’t in our way, and then it makes
such a mess over the walls.
_Log._ (_Opening the letter_). Aye, aye, that will do, go along--(_Exit
Turnkey_) What’s this?--Five hundred pounds!--(_Takes out
note_).--Wheugh!--Let me read--“Sir Jeremy Brag and the Captain, present
compliments to Doctor Logic, request his acceptance of the enclosed, to
free him from his present difficulties; it is the same sum his friends
threw away on an _odd_ trick the other evening.--If Mr. Logic and his
friends will look in at the Venetian Carnival, this evening, they will be
joined by the Captain, Sir Jeremy, the Miss Trifles, and the Mendicants
from the Holy Land; when, if properly solicited, the Masqueraders may
unmask.” Prodigious!--_I’m_ at fault here. I’ll away at once; drop the
debt and costs in the hatchway, and be off to the Carnival.
_Tom._ We’ll go with you, Doctor.
[_Exeunt Tom, Jerry, and Logic._
_Smug._ Why, they’ve hoisted sails, lads--well, success to them--oh the
changes of life!
CHORUS.--(_Omnes_).
AIR.--“_Here we go up, up, up._”
_Some there are up, up, up,
And some there are down, down, down,
But whether above or below,
Let us always take care of the crown._
_They that are out may grin,
While those that are in may fret,
Yet poverty ne’er was a sin,
And we’re sure they can’t hang us for debt.
Fol, lol._
[_Exeunt._
[Illustration: LOTS OF FUN AND FROLIC.]
SCENE.--_Leicester Square.--Characters dressed in Masquerade, cross the
stage, as if going to the Carnival--Dominoes lead the way._
_Enter_ OLD MAID _and_ POODLE _followed by_ CLOWN--CLOWN _steals_ POODLE,
_and pops his own head in_ POODLE’S _place_--OLD MAID _enraged, pummels_
CLOWN’S _pate till she breaks her fan_--CLOWN _carries her off squalling_
R. _They are followed by grotesgue_ DWARF, _in chintz gown and cap, with
big head; preceded by servants with candles, who also exit_.
_Enter_ LILLIPUTIAN HARLEQUIN, COLUMBINE, _and_ CLOWN; L. _Characteristic_
PAS _de_ TRIOS, _to the_ “NATIONAL WALTZ;” _little_ COLUMBINE _coquetting
between_ HARLEQUIN _and_ CLOWN--_after they are off._ O. P. _various_
MASKS _enter severally--business ad libitum_.
SCENE.--_Venetian Carnival brilliantly illuminated--various characters
on--Music, Dancing, Tumbling, and masquerade business ad libitum, till
enter Jerry (as Sportsman) and Sue as Domino._
_Sue._ (_Coming down_). What game would you start here, Mr. Sportsman?
_Jerry._ None, my pretty Domino--I only hunt in Somersetshire; that’s my
manor.
_Sue._ Manners makes the man, certainly; but you’re making game of me.
_Jerry._ I speak truth, by heaven!--Oh, Susan, lovely Susan, never can I
forget thee, dear.
_Sue._ Indeed! then Susan takes you at your word. (_Unmasks_).
_Jerry._ Susan Rosebud!--Astonishment! then the Captain--Miss Trifle, and
the pretty ballad singer!----
_Susan._ Were one and the same person, your humble servant!--I followed to
preserve and reclaim you; I have done so, and I am happy--but your cousin
comes, stand aside.
[_They retire._
[Illustration]
_Enter_ TOM, _as Don Giovanni, with_ KATE _as Domino_.
_Tom._ (_Advancing with Kate_). Could I find one of your sex that would be
faithful, I would never rove again.
_Kate._ Are you sincere?--
_Tom._ By heaven!--I am!
_Kate._ Then behold the reward of your sincerity, the constancy of your
faithful Kate. (_Unmasks_).
_Tom._ Kate! oh, my dear Kate!
_Enter_ LOGIC, _as Doctor Pangloss, with_ JANE _in Domino_.
_Log._ (_Advancing with Jane_). I am an L.L.D. and A.S.S.
_Jane._ (_Unmasks_). You are indeed an A-S-S, not to have found me out
before.
_Log._ What! my Jenny!----
_Jerry._ Don’t be astonished, Bob--I’ll explain all:--Tom and I are going
to make two matches; you must make the third--form a bunch of
matches--exchange one imprisonment for another, her arms, you dog!--’aint
you up?--
_Log._ I’m fly--Oxford has no fellowship like this! (_Embracing Jane_).
_Tom._ (_Coming down with Kate_). You are right, Bob, it has not.--Well,
we have been amused by Life in London, now let us endeavour to profit by
it;--let our experience teach us to avoid its quicksands, and make the
most of its sunshine;--and in that anticipation let us hope our kind
friends will pardon Tom, Jerry, and Logic all their sprees and rambles.
JERRY GOING BACK TO THE COUNTRY.
[Illustration]
Three merry boys were Logic, Tom and Jerry,
And many funny larks they have seen;
Farewell, gay London, the country calls me home again,
The coach moves on--the play is done--Goodbye, Goodbye.
THE WHITE HORSE CELLAR, PICCADILLY:--
Was now the parting scene, and the hand of the clock pointed very near to
the time for the departure of the coach. The bustle of this place
prevented the Trio from much conversation; but the _separation_ of such
_staunch pals_ was a trying moment to the feelings of poor JERRY: and
though he was above _blubbering_ like a _Johnny Raw_, yet his HEART was
rather _touched_, and his _ogles_ underwent some _queer_ sensations, which
he endeavoured to suppress, when _Coachy_ asked “if all was right” and
began to smack his whip.
The hearty grasps of the hand, and the _good-byes_ were over between
HAWTHORN and his _pals_, and TOM and LOGIC were only waiting to see the
coach start, when JERRY, with much eagerness of expression, as if he had
forgotten to mention the circumstance previously, said, “my dear Coz”--but
the coach was now fast rattling over the stones, and the last broken
sentence which the ear of the CORINTHIAN caught was, “Mention me in the
kindest manner to the lovely SUE; tell her I am only gone into _training_,
and in the course of a few weeks I shall most certainly return to London
to enjoy a few more _sprees_ (which I have so unexpectedly been deprived
of), and also to have with her the pleasure of another game at romps.”
THE END.
The Adelphi version of Tom and Jerry, or Life in London, was performed
ninety-three nights in succession; and its _golden_ career only stopped by
the termination of the season. At the end of which, _Little_ Bob Keeley,
who had made a _great_ hit as Jemmy Green--a character imported into the
piece by Mr. W. T. Moncrieff--went with Walbourn, the great Dusty Bob, and
Cooper, who played to the life, Little Jemmy, the cripple, to Sadler’s
Wells Theatre, were Pierce Egan’s own version was produced April 8th,
1822. Keeley was threatened by the Adelphi lessees--Messrs. Rodwell and
Jones--with an action for breach of engagement, but the action was never
brought. In the season of 1822-3 at the Adelphi, John Reeve--‘_Glorious
John!_’ became Jerry Hawthorn, Mr. Brown took the part of Jemmy Green, and
several other changes in the original cast were effected. At Christmas,
1822, TOM and JERRY was compressed so as to admit of the production of a
pantomime called _Beauty and the Beast_, or, _Harlequin and the Magic
Rose_. When the managers announced that:--
“In consequence of the astonishing Overflows to witness the admired
Extravaganza of TOM and JERRY, or Life in London, and to prevent, as
far as possible, any unpleasant Disappointment, the Public are
respectfully informed that:--
NO PLACES, IN FUTURE CAN BE KEPT, UNLESS PAID FOR WHEN TAKEN.
Shouts of Laughter and Applause attend each Representation of the New
Pantomime.”
When the long run of TOM and JERRY ended at the Adelphi, a spectacular
extravaganza of the same kind was produced with the title of “GREEN IN
FRANCE,” but it did not catch the fancy of the town like its
predecessors.[34]
In 1825, Mr. Moncrieff published his dramatic version of Tom and Jerry;
or, Life in London--which he dedicated to:--
HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS, FREDERICK DUKE OF YORK,
MAY IT PLEASE YOUR HIGHNESS:--
The distinguished honour conferred by your Royal Highness on this
Drama, in commanding and witnessing its performance at the ADELPHI
THEATRE, (an honour unprecedented in the annals of the Minor Stage)
and the flattering manner in which your Royal Highness was afterwards
graciously pleased to express your high approbation of it, emboldens
me, with the most profound respect, to lay it at your Royal Highness’s
feet, and under the sanction of your illustrious name, commit it in
its present form to the world.
Having no higher pretensions than that of presenting a faithful
picture of the various scenes it pourtrays, the favourable opinion of
your Royal Highness stamps it with an authority that was alone wanted
to crown the success with which it has been received by the Public.
Like the illustrious Haroun al Raschid, your Royal Highness is said to
have made yourself acquainted with the many coloured changes of life;
presented in the people over whom you may be one day called to
preside, by wisely throwing off the restraint of rank, and witnessing
nature in its genuine state. That the scenes I have pourtrayed are not
caricatured for the sake of dramatic effect, but are actually those
which might have been seen by any one choosing to seek them, your
Royal Highness can therefore adequately testify; and your Royal
Highness’s imprimatur will effectually ward off all the imputations
that have been cast upon my motives and veracity, by the bigoted and
envious.
I have the honour to be,
With the most profound respect and devotion,
Your ROYAL HIGHNESS’S
Most obedient and very humble Servant,
W. T. MONCRIEFF.
104, Drury Lane,
Dec. 15, 1825.
Mr. Moncrieff in his Dedication--TO HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS: and in his Preface
that follows throws so much true light and shade on public opinion--_pro
et con_--of the period, that we deem it not only desirable but instructive
to the present generation to publish the same _in extenso_.
PREFACE.
“It is scarcely necessary to observe this Drama is founded on the
“LIFE IN LONDON” of my friends PIERCE EGAN, and the inimitable
CRUICKSHANK. Aided by PIERCE’S clever illustrations to the matchless
series of plates to that work, I have in this piece, endeavoured to
put them into dramatic motion; running a connecting story through the
whole, making such modifications and amplifications, and furnishing
such reflections and results, as I deemed necessary. From the
popularity of the subject, the novelty and acknowledged truth of the
various scenes comprised in it, and the beauty of the music I
fortunately selected, this Piece obtained a popularity, and excited a
sensation, totally unprecedented in Theatrical History; from the
highest to the lowest, all classes were alike anxious to witness its
representation; Dukes and Dustmen were equally interested in its
performance, and Peers might be seen mobbing it with Apprentices to
obtain admission. Seats were sold for weeks before they could be
occupied, every Theatre in the United Kingdom, even in the United
States, enriched its coffers by performing it; and the smallest
tithe-portion of its profits, would for ever have rendered it
unnecessary for its Author to have troubled the public with any
further productions of his Muse. It established the fortunes of most
of the Actors engaged in its representation, and gave birth to many
publications and several newspapers. The success of the “BEGGAR’S
OPERA,” the “CASTLE SPECTRE,” and “PIZARRO,” sunk into the shade
before it. In the _furore_ of its popularity, persons have been known
to travel post from the furthest parts of the Kingdom to see it; and
five guineas have been offered for a single seat.--These facts are not
recapitulated here from any feeling of egotism--the success of this
Drama, was the temporary rage of the moment, from time-serving
circumstances, and was never regarded in any other light by its
Author; they are merely noticed as curious events in theatrical
history.--With respect to the cry of immorality, so loudly raised by
those inimical to the success and plain-speaking of this piece, it is
soon answered! To say nothing of the envy of rival Theatres feeling
its attraction most sensibly in their Saturday Treasuries, those
notorious pests the Watchmen; dexterously joined in the war-howl of
detraction raised against it, and by converting every trifling
street-broil into a “_Tom and Jerry row_,” endeavoured to revenge
themselves for the _exposè_ its scenes afforded of their villany and
extortion; but all in vain. In vain, too, it was the Actor’s old
rivals, the _Methodists_, took the alarm--in vain they distributed the
whole of the stock of the _Religious Tract Society_ at the doors of
the Theatre--in vain they denounced “_Tom and Jerry_” from the
pulpit--in vain the puritanical portion of the Press prated of its
immorality--in vain the prejudices of the stiff-backed part of the
Bench--the hypocritical host of Saints cried it down, and preached woe
and destruction to those who supported it.--They but increased the
number of its followers, and added to its popularity. Vainly, too, was
the Lord Chamberlain called upon to suppress it--His Grace came one
night to see it, and brought his Duchess the next. It was nearly the
same with the Chief Magistrate of Bow Street: his experience rendered
him perfectly sensible, that, long before the appearance of “_Tom and
Jerry_,” young men and country gentlemen would in moments of hilarity,
sometimes exceed in their potations, be provoked into quarrels by
designing Watchmen, and consigned, for purposes of extortion on the
following morning, to His Honour, the Night Constable; but according
to the Saints’ accounts, to believe their tales, it must be held as a
point of faith, that no one, previous to the appearance of “_Tom and
Jerry_,” ever got into a row!--Oh, no--drinking and all its train of
follies were unknown to youth, until inculcated into their minds by
the example of “_Tom and Jerry_!” How many an unsuspecting _Country
Cousin_ has been converted, in the public newspapers, through an hour
of harmless frolic, into a JERRY; while his equally unconscious Town
relation figured as a TOM, and any honest plodder they may have had
with them is transformed into a BOB LOGIC--his first appearance in
that character. The thing speaks for itself: the hue and cry of the
immorality and danger of this piece was raised merely for the purposes
of plunder, by Watchmen and others. So far from being immoral, if the
piece be fairly examined, it will be found to be as correct in its
tendency as any production ever brought on the stage. The obnoxious
scenes of life are only shown that they may be avoided: the danger of
mixing in them is strikingly exemplified; and every incident tends to
prove, that happiness is only to be found in the domestic circle.
“It has been said, that many of the scenes of this piece should not
have been exhibited, being scenes of dissipation, riot, and
impropriety--ridiculous!--Has not Shakespeare asserted that the proper
use of the drama is--“to hold, as ’twere, the mirror up to nature, to
show virtue her own feature, and vice her own image, and the very age
and body of the time its form and pressure:” could any piece do this
more effectually than “_Tom and Jerry_?” take away the scenes
complained of, it ceases to show the form and pressure of the age and
time.
“I should not have published this piece had not its success produced
such a host of imitations and plagiarisms, that more to prevent myself
suffering from the demerits of others than to avail myself of any
merits of my own. I give it with all its imperfections on its head, to
the world; willing to pay _smart blunt_ for my own misdeeds, but not
_stand Sammy_ for those of others. To those venerable noodles who
complain that I and my prototype, PIERCE, have made this the age of
flash; I answer any age is better than _The age of cant_! I tell my
pious lecturers, in plain terms, I shall always feel pleasure in
reflecting that I have in this piece, _nosed_ every _move_ on the
_board_, in the _game_ of the _spell_; opened the _ogles_ of the
_green_ and the _yokel_, and the _muff_, and the _raw_; struck a light
on the _darky_ of their _knowledge boxes_, _flashed_ the _gab_ of the
_prig_, the _leg_, the _scamp_ and the _stringer_, in their
_listeners_, put them _fly_ and _awake_ to all they should be _up_ and
_down_ to, and enabled them, if their _lugs_ are at all _wing_ to the
_bits_ of _good truth_, _pattered_ to them in every scene of this
piece, _bank_ their _rag_, _chivey_ their _nurses_, _nash_ their
_leading strings_, and keep out of the way of the _cut-along-coaches_
as they travel the high _toby_ of existence; and having so done, can
lay my _mawley_ on my _core_, and conscienciously _chaunt_ my
conviction, in which my _reader_ will bear me out, “that I’ve cut all
the _buzmen_, and _done_ the _thing right_.”
W. T. M.
104, Drury Lane,
Dec. 15, 1825.
[Illustration]
THE DUSTMAN.
Bring out your dust the dustman cries,
Whilst ringing of his bell:
If the wind blows, pray guard your eyes,
To keep them clear and well.
PIERCE EGAN ON MR. WALBOURN’S “DUSTY BOB.”
“It is the greatest possible praise to be praised by a man who is
himself deserving of praise.”
“Approbation from Sir Hubert Stanley is praise indeed.”
Mr. Walbourn’s theatrical fame was made by, and, strange to say, expired
with the character of Dusty Bob. Pierce Egan, in his “Life of an
Actor,”--which he dedicated to Edmund Kean--classes his performance of
this part, as giving him a title in the niche of fame beside John Kemble,
Mrs. Siddons, and all the great actors contained in his “Catalogues of
Parts Acted”--which can never be forgotten by those who witnessed them.
Here is the note, and will be found at page twelve of the work:--“The
personification of Dusty Bob, by the above actor, has been unanimously
decided by the public to be one of the greatest triumphs of the histrionic
art ever exhibited on any stage. The first tragedian of the day,[35] with
the utmost liberality, gave it as his opinion, that, during the whole
course of his theatrical life, he had never seen any performance equal to
it. Also, a comic actor of the greatest celebrity[36] exclaimed, ‘Good
heaven! is it possible? Do my eyes deceive me? Most certainly it is a real
_dustman_ they have got upon the stage. I am very sorry the profession has
descended so low as to be compelled to resort to the streets to procure a
person of that description to sustain the character.’ He left the body of
the theatre in utter disgust--nor was it until introduced to Mr. Walbourn
in person, behind the scenes, that he would believe it was an actor.
_Further praise than this is superfluous._”
Mr. Walbourn as “Dusty Bob,” was drawn and engraved by George Cruikshank,
and sold, with other character-portraits, at the Adelphi Theatre. During
the long run of the piece, he exchanged one species of _hops_ for another,
as he gave up his business as a private and stage dancing-master, and took
the “Maidenhead” public-house at Battle Bridge. The house, previous to his
taking it was doing only a small trade; but, when he became the landlord,
and put out a spick-span new and a “not so dusty” sign of himself as
“DUSTY BOB,” painted in oil by George Cruikshank, it drew together many of
the “Dusty” fraternity--and their doxies. After that, “Dusty Bob,”
together with “Black Sal,” became to be bye words, as, near to the house,
was Smith’s dust-yard, at which hundreds were employed, male and female.
But:--
“A heap of dust alone remains of thee;
’Tis all thou art, and all the proud shall be!”
[Illustration]
THE LITERARY DUSTMAN.
My dawning genus fust di
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