She and I, Volume 1
by John C. Hutcheson · English · Gutenberg #21095 · 316,614 chars · public domain (US)
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Title: She and I, Volume 1
Author: John C. Hutcheson
Release date: April 16, 2007 [eBook #21095]
Language: English
Other information and formats: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/21095
Credits: Produced by Nick Hodson of London, England
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SHE AND I, VOLUME 1 ***
Produced by Nick Hodson of London, England
She and I - Volume 1
by John Conroy Hutcheson
________________________________________________________________
The setting is a dull suburb in London, just after the middle of the
nineteenth century. The hero spots a very pretty young lady in church,
and falls in love with her. The first problem is to get an
introduction. He manages this, but the girl's mother, with an eye to
the long-term, knows that our hero is not well-off, while others, who we
can see are not the sort of person the girl would like to marry, are.
Various parties and expeditions involving the church's congregation take
place, and eventually the wooing of the young lady appears successful.
The book is altogether in a different style to Hutcheson's later works,
which are mostly nautical. Possibly a period of twenty years separates
this book from the later ones. Certainly this book has about it, at
times, a feeling of the experimental, particularly in the use of certain
words, which one feels Hutcheson may have thought up, and which have not
"caught on." Another symptom is the use of unusual hyphenated words,
and an over-use of common ones. There are also several quotations from
poetry, which one does not mind while they are in English, or perhaps
French, but which get a bit tedious when they are in other languages. I
particularly dislike this habit when one of these foreign poems is used
at the start of the chapter. Couldn't a good translation have done just
as well?
________________________________________________________________
SHE AND I - VOLUME ONE
BY JOHN CONROY HUTCHESON
CHAPTER ONE.
AT FIRST SIGHT.
"I muse, as in a trance, when e'er
The languors of thy love-deep eyes
Float on me. I would I were
So tranced, so wrapt in ecstasies,
To stand apart, and to adore,
Gazing on thee for evermore!"
I saw her first in church.
Do you happen to know a quaint, dreamy old region in the west of London,
which bricks and mortar have not, as yet, overtaken, nor newfangled
villas vulgarised?
A region of innumerable market gardens that are principally laid out in
long, narrow beds, lost into nothingness as they dwindle down in the dim
vista of perspective, and which are planted with curly endive, piquante-
looking lettuces, and early cabbages; squat rows of gooseberry bushes
and currant trees, with a rose set here and there in between; and sweet-
smelling, besides, of hidden violets and honeysuckles, and the pink and
white hawthorn of the hedges in May:--
A region of country lanes, ever winding and seemingly never ending,
leading down to and past and from the whilom silent, whilom bustling
river, that never heeds their tortuous intricacies, but hurries by on
its way through the busy city towards the sea below; lanes wherein are
to be occasionally met with curious old stone houses, of almost
historical antecedents and dreamy as the region in which they lie,
scattered about in the queerest situations without plan or precedent, on
which the casual pedestrian comes when he least expects:--
Do you know this quaint old region, this fleeting oasis in the Sahara of
the building-mad suburban metropolis? I do, well; its market gardens,
its circumambient lanes, its old, antiquarian stone houses, and all!
Many a time have I wandered through them; many a time watched the heavy
waggons as they went creaking on their way to town and the great
emporium at Covent Garden, groaning beneath the wealth and weight of the
vegetable produce they carried, and laden so high with cunningly-
arranged nests of baskets on baskets, that one believed each moment that
they would topple over, and held the breath for fear of hastening their
fall; many a time sought to trace each curving lane to its probable
goal, or tried to hunt out the hidden histories which lay concealed
within the crumbling walls of the old dwellings on which I might happen
to light in my walks.
But my favourite ramble, eclipsing all others now in pleasant
recollections of by-gone days, was through the Prebend's Walk, bordered
with its noble grove of stately lime trees and oaks and elms on either
hand; and passing by open fields, that are, in spring, rich with yellow
buttercups and star-spangled daisies, and, in summer, ripe with the
aromatic odours of new-mown hay.
The Prebend's Walk, beyond where the lime-grove ends, whence the
prebend's residence can be faintly distinguished through the clustering
masses of tree-foliage, merges into the open, commanding the river in
front; but it is still marked out by a stray elm or horse-chestnut,
placed at scanty intervals, to keep up the idea of the ancient avenue
beyond.
Here, turning to the right and crossing a piece of unkempt land, half
copse, half meadow, the scene again changed.
You came to a stile. That surmounted and left behind, a narrow by-path
led you through its twisting turns until you reached a tiny, rustic
stone bridge--such a tiny, little bridge! This was over the sluice and
aqueduct from the adjacent river, which supplied the fosse that in olden
times surrounded the prebend's residence, when there were such things as
sieges and besiegements in this fair land of ours.
The prebend's residence was then a castle, protected, probably, by
battlements and mantlets and turreted walls, and with its keep and its
drawbridge, its postern and its fosse--simple works of defence that were
armed for retaliation, with catapult and mangonel, the canon raye of the
period, besides arquebuse and other hand weapons wielded, no doubt, by
mighty men at arms, mail-clad and helmeted, who knew how to give and
take with the best of them; now, it was but a peaceful priest's
dwelling, inhabited by as true a clergyman and gentleman as ever lived,
although it was still a fine old house.
As for the fosse, it sank long ages ago to the level and capacity of a
common ditch, and was almost hidden from view by the overhanging boughs
and branches of the park trees on the opposite side, and the half-
decayed trunks of former monarchs of the forest that filled its bed--a
ditch covered with a superstratum of slimy, green water, lank weeds, and
rank vegetation; and wherein, at flood time, urchin anglers could fish
for eels and sticklebats, and, at ebb, the village ducks disport
themselves and mudlarks play.
Along this fosse, the path continued. Further on, it widened into a
broader way, which led you direct to the churchyard of Saint Canon's.
So studded is it with weatherworn tombstones, inclining at all angles
like so many miniature leaning towers of Pisa, ivy-wreathed obelisks and
quaintly-fashioned, railed-in monuments, that you can scarcely make out
the lower buttresses of the ancient church that stands up from amongst
their midst.
With its whitish-grey walls, time-stained and rain-eaten, its severe-
looking, square Norman tower, and its generally-formal style of
architecture, that edifice does not present a very imposing appearance
from without; but, within, the case is different.
Lofty, pointed, stained-glass windows light it. The chancel bears the
stamp of the Restoration. Oaken beams; carved galleries, curiously
contrived to fit into every available space; high, upright box pews--of
the sort instituted, in the reign of Anne, by the renowned Bishop
Burnett to restrain the roving eyes of the congregation and make
gallants better attend to their devotions; all these, in addition to the
memorial slabs and tablets, and weeping angels over cinereal urns, tend
to give the church that air of ugliness and comfort which the modern
churchman detests.
Dear old church!
I love its old walls, its old chancel, its old pews, its form of
worship, and all; for it was there that I first saw her,--my own, my
darling!
O, Min, Min! can I ever forget that time?
Can I!
One Sunday--it is not so long ago that my hair is grey, nor so recently
as to prevent my having a story to tell--I was in Saint Canon's church,
sitting in one of its old, square box pews, where one was, as it were,
shut up in a small, private house, away from all connection with the
outer world; for you could not see anything when the door was closed,
with the exception of the roof overhead, and, mayhap, the walls around.
I was listening to the varied fugue introitus that the organist was
playing from the gallery beyond the pulpit,--playing with the full wind
power of the venerable reed instrument he skilfully manipulated, having
all the stops out,--diapasons, trumpet, vox humana, and the rest. The
music was from Handel, a composer of whom the maestro was especially
fond; so fond, indeed, that any of the congregation who might have the
like musical proclivities need seldom fear disappointment. They could
reckon upon hearing the Hallelujah Chorus at least once a fortnight, and
the lesser morceaux of _Israel in Egypt_ at intervals in between.
Presently, just before the vicar and curate made their customary
processional entry, ere the service began, two ladies were ushered into
the large pew which I occupied alone in solitary state. There was room
enough, in all conscience. It could have accommodated a round dozen,
and that without any squeezing.
Both the ladies were dressed in half-mourning, which attracted my
attention and made me observe them more closely than I might otherwise
have done. My mind was soon engaged wondering, as one is apt to do--
when in church, more particularly--who and what they were. One, I saw,
was middle-aged: the other had not, probably, as yet reached her
eighteenth year; and what a charming face she had,--what an expression!
I could not take my eyes off her.
How shall I describe her? I had ample opportunity of taking a study, as
she faced me on the opposite side of the pew, seated beside the other
and elder lady, who, I could see at a glance, was her mother, from the
striking likeness between them--although, there was a wonderful
difference the while.
Have you never observed the slight, yet unmistakable traits of family
resemblance, and the various points in which they are displayed? They
may sometimes be only traceable in a single feature, a smile, a look, or
in some peculiar mannerism of speech, or action, or even thought; but
there they are; and, however indistinct they may be, however faint on
casual inspection, a practised eye can seldom fail to perceive them and
distinguish the relationship betwixt father and son, or mother and
daughter:--the kinship of brothers and sisters is not so evident to
strangers. In the present case no one could doubt: the younger lady
must certainly be the daughter of the other.
But, what was she like, you ask?
Well, she was not beautiful. She was not even what empty-headed people,
unaware of the real signification of the term, call "pretty." She was
interesting--will that word suit?
No. The description would not give you the least idea of what her face
really was like--much less of her expression, in which consisted its
great charm.
Shall I endeavour to picture her to you as I saw her for that first time
in church, before Love's busy fingers had woven a halo of romance around
her, only allowing me to behold her through a sort of fairy glamour; and
making me forget everything concerning her, save that she was "Min," and
that I loved her, and that she was the darling of my heart?
I will.
Her figure seemed to me then a trifle below the middle height, but so
well-proportioned that one could not easily tell, unless standing beside
her, whether she was actually short or tall. Her features were Grecian
in outline, as regarded the upper portion of her face, and irregular
below; with such a delightful little dimple in her curving chin, and
full, pouting lips. Her eyes, calm, steady, quiet, loving, grey eyes,--
eyes symbolical of faith and constancy, and unswerving fidelity of
purpose: eyes that looked like tranquil depths through which you could
see the soul-light reflected from below; and which only wanted the
stirring power of some great motive or passion to illumine them with a
myriad irradiating gems.
But,--pshaw! How can I describe her? It is sacrilege thus to weigh and
consider the points and merits of one we love. Besides, even the most
perfect and faultlessly-beautiful face in the world would be unable to
stand the test of minute examination in detail. As Thomson sings, to
put his poetry into prose, how can you "from the diamond single out each
ray, when all, though trembling with ten thousand hues, effuse one
dazzling undivided light?"
It is impossible. No words of mine could put before you what her face
really was like, as it appeared to me then and afterwards when I had
learnt to watch and decipher every versatile look and expression it
wore. Sometimes, when in repose, it reminded me of one of Raphael's
angels. At other times, when moved by mirth and with arch glances
dancing in the deep, grey eyes,--and they could make merry when they
willed,--it was a witching, teasing, provoking little face. Or, again,
if changed by grief,--under which aspect, thank God! I seldom saw it,--
a noble, resolute face, bearing that indescribable look of calm, set,
high resolve, which the face of the heart-broken daughter of Lear, or
the deep-suffering mother of the Gracchi might have borne. You may say,
perhaps, that this is rhapsody; but what is love without rhapsody?--
what, a love story?
I determined at first, before I had studied it more attentively, that
her face lacked expression; but I made a grievous error. I quickly
altered my opinion on seeing it in profile and upturned; for I marked
the embodiment of devotion it betrayed during the service, when her
voice was raised in the praise of her Maker. She looked now exactly
like the picture of Saint Cecilia; and her appearance recalled to my
mind what one of the American essayists, I forget who it is, observes
quaintly somewhere, that it is no wonder that Catholics pay their vows
to the queen of heaven, for "the unpoetical side of Protestantism is,
that it has no woman to be worshipped."
Of course I had fallen in love with her,--love at first sight; and,
although you may not credit the assertion, allow me to put you right
upon the point and inform you that such a thing is not only possible,
but much more probable, and of more frequent occurrence than a good many
people imagine or believe. Love is sometimes the growth of degrees: it
may also bound into existence in a moment; for there is a certain
sympathetic attraction between some persons, as there is between others
an antipathetical, repulsive force. Understand, passion is not here
alluded to. That is, of the senses. What I mean is, the essence or
spirit of love, as pure as that which may subsist amongst the angels
above.
I felt such love growing within me, as I looked at her, with her
downcast eyes bent over her Bible, or as she sat, with head upraised and
attentive ear, drinking in the words of spiritual wisdom addressed us by
our good old pastor, of which at the time _I_ took but little heed. She
did not seem at all conscious that she was being observed; although she
doubtless knew that I was looking at her, in that instinctive way common
to her sex, in which they manage to take cognisance of everything going
on around them, without so much as raising an eyelid. Indeed, she told
me afterwards that she had been well aware of my watch, and added that
she thought me "very rude, too;" but, just now, she took no notice of my
looks and longings, as far as I could see.
It was not until the close of the service, and when she and her mother
were leaving the pew, that I obtained a glance, a look, which dwelt in
my memory for days and days. She had brought with her into church a
tiny spray of mignonette, and this she left behind her on the seat close
to where she had been sitting. I perceived it, and taking it up, made
as if to restore it to its lawful owner.
A half smile faintly played across her slightly parted lips, as she
looked at me for an instant, an amused sparkle in her clear, grey eyes,
and then turned away with a polite inclination and shake of her little
head, in refusal of the mignonette, which I have kept ever since. But
that smile!
Her whole face lit up, gaining just the colour and expression which it
appeared to lack. My fate was sealed; and, as the organ pealed forth
the grand prayer from _Mose in Egitto_ for the exodus of the
congregation, and I slowly paced down the aisle after my enchantress, my
soul expanded into a very heaven of adoration and love!
CHAPTER TWO.
EXPECTATION.
"With what a leaden and retarding weight,
Does expectation load the wing of time!"
When, after a few minutes, I got outside the church, she had
disappeared, although I had endeavoured to follow as close as I could on
her footsteps, without, of course, appearing to be intrusively watching
her.
I had managed too cleverly. She was gone. I had been so long, to my
great vexation, painfully pacing after the slowly-moving, out-shuffling
mass of ex-worshippers--dexterously essaying the while to avoid treading
on the trailing trains of the ladies, or incurring the anathemas, "not
loud, but deep," of gouty old gentlemen with tender feet, which they
_would_ put in one's way--that, on my succeeding at length in arriving
at the outer porch, and being enabled to don my hat once more, there was
not a single trace of either her mother or herself to be seen anywhere
in sight.
Here was a disappointment! While getting-out, I had made up my mind to
track them home, and find out where they lived; and now, they might be
beyond my ken for ever.
I had noted them both so keenly, as to their appearance and the manner
in which each was dressed, for, in spite of mother and daughter being
alike "in mourning," there were still distinctive features in their
toilets, that I could not have failed to distinguish them from the rest
of the congregation.
But now, my plans were entirely overthrown. What should I do in the
emergency? Stop, there was Horner; I would ask him if he had seen them.
There, dressed a merveille and with his inseparable eye-glass stuck
askew in the corner of his left eye, he stood listlessly criticising the
people as they came forth from prayer, in his usual impertinently-
inoffensive way. He was just as likely as not to have seen them, and
could naturally give me the information I sought about the direction in
which they had gone.
"Jack Horner," as he was familiarly styled by those having the honour of
his acquaintance, was a clerk in Downing Street languishing on a
hundred-and-fifty pounds per annum, which paltry income he received from
an ungrateful country in consideration of his valuable services on
behalf of the state. How he contrived merely to dress himself and
follow the ever-changing fashions on that sum, paid quarterly though it
was, appeared a puzzle to many; but he did, and well, too. It was
currently believed, besides, by his congeners, that he never got into
debt, happy fellow that he was! notwithstanding that, in addition to his
hopes of promotion at "the office," he had considerable "expectations"
from a bachelor uncle, reported to be enormously wealthy and with no
near kindred to leave his money to save our friend Horner, who
cultivated him accordingly.
No, Horner never got into debt. He was said to be in the habit of
promptly discharging all his tailor's claims punctually every year, as
the gay and festive season of Christmas--and bills!--came round.
Truth to say, however, there need not have been any great astonishment
concerning Horner in this respect. The surprise would have been that he
had _not_ discharged his just obligations to his tailor and others; for
his habits were regular, and he was guiltless of the faintest soupcon of
extravagance. He never played billiards, did not smoke, did not care
about "little dinners" at Richmond or elsewhere, never betted, never
went to the Derby, seldom, if ever, patronised the theatre, unless
admitted through the medium of orders; consequently, he had no
expenditure, with the exception of that required for his toilet, as he
eschewed all those many and various ways mentioned for running through
money, which more excitable but less conscientious mortals than himself
find thrown in their way.
His neatly-clad form and constant eye-glass were in great request at all
tea-parties and carpet dances that took place in the social circle to
which he belonged; but, beyond such slight beguilements of "life's dull
weary round," his existence was uneventful. His character altogether
might be said to have been a negative one, as the only speciality for
which he was particularly distinguished was for the variety of
intonation and meaning which he could give to his two favourite
exclamations, "Yaas," and "Bai-ey Je-ove!"--thus economising his
conversational powers to a considerable extent, which was a great
advantage for him--and others, too, as he might, you know, have had
little more to say.
Horner's principal amusement when at home on a Sunday, was to go to
church; that is, if he had not to go to town, which was sometimes the
case even on the great day of rest, through his diplomatic skill being
required in Downing Street. This was what he said, pleading his having
to adjust some nice and knotty point of difference between the valiant
King of Congo and the neighbouring and pugnacious Ja Ja, or else to
remonstrate, in firm and equable language, as Officialdom knows so well
how to do, against the repeated unjustifiable homicides of the despot of
Dahomey, in sacrifice to his gods, beneath the sheltering shade of the
tum-tum tree.
Well, what of that--you may pertinently remark--a most praiseworthy
proceeding, surely, on his part to go to church whenever he possibly
could? Granted; but then, Horner was prone to indulge in another
practice which might not be held quite so praiseworthy in some people's
view.
Quite contrary to his abnormal mode of progression, he would hasten out
of the sacred edifice immediately after the doxology; and, planting
himself easily and gracefully in a studied attitude some short distance
from the doors, would from that commanding position proceed to stare at
and minutely observe the congregation, collectively and severally, as
they came tripping forth from the porch after him. This was, really,
very indefensible; and yet, I do not think that Horner meant to commit
any deliberate wrong in so doing.
Be the motive what it may, such was his general habit.
He would always courteously acknowledge the passing salutations of men-
folk with an almost imperceptible nod, so as not to disarrange the
careful adjustment of his eye-glass, or disturb the poise of his beaver:
to ladies, on the contrary, he was all "effusion," as the French say,
dashing off his hat as if he metaphorically flung it at their feet for a
gage d'amour, not of battle--just like an Ethiopian minstrel striking
the gay tambourine on his knee in a sudden flight of enthusiasm. All in
all, Horner was essentially a ladies' man, his points lying in that way;
and, although what is popularly known as "harmless," he was not by any
means a bad sort of fellow on the whole, when judged by the more
exacting masculine standard, being very good-natured and obliging, like
most of us, when you did not put him out of his way or expect too much
from him.
To me at this crisis of my fate, he appeared for the nonce an angel in
human form. He would be just the person who could tell me in what
direction my unknown enchantress went. I would ask him.
Fiat.
"Hullo, Horner!" I said, tapping him at once on the shoulder, and
arresting him from the abstracted contemplation of two stylish girls in
pink, who were just turning the corner of the churchyard out of sight.
"Yaas, 'do?" he replied, moving his head round slowly, as if it worked
on a pivot which, wanted greasing, so as to confront me. He was as mild
and imperturbable as usual. An earthquake, I believe, would not have
quickened his movements.
"How d'ye do?" responded I to his mono-syllabical greeting. "I say, old
fellow," I continued, "did you chance to see which way two ladies went
who came out a minute or so before myself? One was middle-aged, or
thereabouts; the other young; both were dressed in half-mourning. They
looked strangers to the parish, I think: you must have seen them, I'm
sure, eh?"
"Bai-ey Je-ove! Two middle-aged ladies; one dwessed in hawf-mawning?--"
"Nonsense, Horner!" said I, interrupting him; "what a mess you are
making of it! I said _one_ lady was middle-aged; and _both_ dressed in
half-mourning."
"Weally, now? No, Lorton, 'pon honah; didn't see 'em, I asshaw you.
Was it Baby Blake and her moth-ah, now, ah?" and he smiled complacently,
as if he had given me a fund of information.
"Baby Blake!" I ejaculated in disgust--"why, Horner, you're quite
absurd. Do you take me for a fool? I think I ought to know Baby Blake
as well as yourself by this time, my Solon!"
"Yaas; but, my deah fellah, I don't know who you know, you know. Bai-ey
Je-ove! there's _Lizzie_ Dangler. Who's that man she's got in tow, ah?"
"Hang Lizzie Dangler!" I exclaimed, impatiently. "Can't you answer a
question for once in your life--did you see them, or not?"
"Weally, Lorton," said he, in quite an imploring way, "you needn't get
angwy with a fellah, because he can't tell you what you want to know,
you know! It's weally too hot for that sawt of thing. I didn't see
them, I tell you. I can't say mo-ah than that, can I? You mustn't
expect a fellah to see evwybody. Why, it's seem-plee impawsible!"
His languid drawl exasperated me.
"Oh, bother!" I muttered, sotto voce, but loud enough for him to hear;
and turned away from him angrily, leaving him still standing in his pet
attitude, taking mental stock of all the fast-looking fair ones who
might come under his notice. "Oh, bother?" I am not prepared to assert
positively that I did not use a much stronger expletive. He _ought_ to
have seen them! What the deuce was the use of his sticking star-gazing
there, unless to observe people, I should like to know?
Just fancy, too, his comparing my last madonna, the image and eidolon of
whose witching face filled my heart, to that odious little flirt, Baby
Blake, a young damsel that hawked her tender affections about at the
beck and call of every male biped who might for the moment be enthralled
by her charms! It was like his cool impudence. And then, again, his
asking me his stupid, inane questions, as if I cared what man, and how
many. Lizzie Dangler or any other girl might have "in tow," as he
called it. Idiot! I declare to you I positively hated Horner at that
moment, inoffensive and harmless as he was.
I left the precincts of the church; and, walking along the path by the
fosse, directed my steps towards the Prebend's Walk, hoping to light
upon the object of my quest.
The air was filled with the fragrance of wild flowers and the smell of
the new-mown hay from the adjacent meadows. One heard the buzzing sound
of busy insect life around, and the love-calls of song-birds from the
hedge-rows; while the grateful shade of the lime-grove seemed to invite
repose and suggest peaceful meditation: but I heeded none of these
things. I felt, like the singer of "The Banks and Braes of Bonny Doon,"
out of harmony with nature and all its surroundings. My thoughts were
jostling one another in a wild dance through my breast. Where on earth
could they have disappeared so very suddenly! It was quite
inexplicable. I must find them. Himmel! I must see _her_ again. I
felt in a perfect state of frenzy. So excited was I, that, although it
was a broiling hot day in July, I walked along as if I were walking for
a wager. I do not think, by the way, that a very learned and
distinguished philosopher was so very much out in his reckoning after
all, when he laid down the general dogma, that all men are more or less
mad. I know, at all events, that I felt mad enough at this moment, as I
was careering along the Prebend's Walk. I was almost nerved up to
desperation.
I was an only child; and my parents being both elderly people, rarely
mixing in society, I could not make use of home influence, as I might
have done if I had had any kind sister to assist me in the way that kind
sisters sometimes can assist their brothers when they fall victims to
the tender passion. Whom should I ask to help me in my strait? I could
not go round everywhere, asking everybody after two ladies dressed in
half-mourning, could I? Not exactly. People might take me for a maniac
at large; and, even should I be one, still, I would naturally wish to
keep my mental derangement to myself. What could I do?
While I was thus perplexing myself with vain imaginings, the
recollection of the Dashers occurred to my mind. How was it that I had
not thought of them before, when they were the very people for my
purpose? Why, not a soul could come into Saint Canon's parish without
their knowledge, and a fresh face in church would set them at once on
the qui vive. The Dashers, of course, must have seen my unknown ladies,
and would be able to give me more information concerning them than I
could expect from any one else. I had often heard three to one betted,
with no "takers," that they would tell you everything about any
particular person, his, or her, antecedents, prospects, and position,
who had but remained for ten consecutive minutes within a radius of one
mile of their house. To the Dashers I would consequently go, by all
means--thank Providence for the suggestion, and their existence!
Lady Dasher, the head of this all-wise circle, was the youngest daughter
of a deceased Irish peer, whom she was continually bringing on the
carpet, and causing--unhappy ghost that he was--to retrace his weary way
from wherever the spirits of defunct Hibernian nobles most do
congregate.
She did not do this through family pride, or with any boastful
intention, but simply from sheer morbidity. She was always scoring down
grievances in the present by looking back on the past. With her, it was
all repining and retrospect. When her poor father, the earl, was alive,
she was never slighted in this way. Had her dear papa but now existed,
Mistress So-and-So would have returned her call, and not insulted her by
her palpable neglect. It was very Christian-like and charitable to say
otherwise; but _she_ knew better: it was on account of her being poor,
and living in a small house. Oh, yes! she was very well aware of
_that_; yet, although she could not keep up a grand establishment and
was poor, she was proud, and would never forget that she was an earl's
daughter. She would not be ground down with impunity! Even the worm
will turn: and so on. You can understand her character almost without
another word of description.
In spite of being a kindly-hearted soul at bottom, she was really, I
believe, the most morbid and melancholic person that ever breathed,--at
least, in my experience. Should you, unfortunately, be forced to remain
for any length of time in her presence, she had a most singularly
depressing influence on your spirits. Wet blanket? Bless your heart!
that would be no name for her. She was a patent shower-bath, coming
down on all your cherished sentiments, hopes, and schemes, with a
"whish" of heavy extinguishment. The cheeriest, sprightliest mortal in
the world could not have continued gay in her society. Mark Tapley
would have met his match in her, I'm certain.
Next to the demise of her lamented parent--which was indeed an after
consideration--Lady Dasher's marriage was the source and well-spring of
all her woes. She had espoused, as soon as she had a will of her own, a
handsome young gin distiller, who "ran" a large manufactory in Essex.
People said it was entirely a love match; but, whether that was the case
or no, all _I_ know is, that on changing the honoured name of
Planetree--the first Earl had been boot-black to the conquering Cromwell
in Ireland--for the base-born patronymic Dasher, all her troubles began.
Her noble relatives cut her dead in the first instance, as Dasher,
aspiring though he was, aspired a trifle too high. The connection was
never acknowledged; and his papa-in-law, utterly ignoring his entity,
never gave him the honour of an invitation to Ballybrogue Castle, the
ancestral seat of the Planetrees in Tipperary.
This was not the worst of it, either. Dasher, forgetting that
simplicity of his forefathers which had promoted his fortunes, learnt on
his marriage to launch out into unheard-of extravagances, spending his
hardly-gained substance in riotous living. He kept open house in town
and country, getting laughed at, en parenthese, by the toadies who
spunged upon him; failed; got into "the Gazette;" and?--died of a broken
heart. Poor Dasher!
On the death of her other half--it is problematical which half he was,
whether better or worse--Lady Dasher found herself left with a couple of
daughters and a few thousands, which her husband had taken care to
settle on her so as to be beyond the reach of his creditors. The
provision was ample to have enabled her to live in comfort, if she had
practised the slightest economy; but, never having learnt that species
of common sense, called "savoir faire," which is useful in every-day
life, Lady Dasher soon outran the constable. She then had to appeal to
her father, Earl Planetree, who, now that poor Dasher disgraced the
family escutcheon no longer by living, acknowledged her once more,
relieving her necessities; and when he, too, died, he bequeathed her a
fair income, on which, by dint of hard struggling, she contrived to
support existence and repine at her bitter lot.
She was in the habit of telling people--who, between ourselves, were
hopelessly ignorant that such a person as the late earl had ever
breathed, and cared less, probably, about the fact--that had her poor
papa been yet alive, things would have been "very different with her;"
an assertion of questionable accuracy.
There are some persons in this world who can never by any possibility
take a rose-coloured view of life. No matter what vivid touches the
great painter puts in on the canvas of their every-day being, they
always remain mentally colour-blind, and perceive but one monotonous
neutral tint--as they will continue to do until the end, when,
perchance, their proper sight may be restored.
Lady Dasher was one of these. She persisted in taking a despondent view
of everything around her--her past, her future, her position, her
prospects; nay, even the circumstances and surroundings of her friends
and few intimates came to be regarded in the same unsatisfactory light.
She was unacquainted with the healthy tone of wisdom contained in the
old quatrain,--
"That man, I trow, is doubly blest,
Who of the worst can make the best;
And he, I'm sure, is doubly curst,
Who of the best doth make the worst!"
Morbid and melancholic had been her disposition at the commencement of
the chapter:--morbid and melancholic she would naturally remain to its
close.
With all her morbidity, however, she took a wonderful, albeit
lachrymose, interest in the temporal matters of the parish; and was
acquainted with most of the contemporary facts and incidents with which
her neighbours were mixed up, being mostly indebted for her information,
as she seldom went out herself, to her daughters Bessie and Seraphine--
the latter commonly known amongst audacious young men as "the Seraph,"
on account of her petite figure, her blue eyes, and her musical voice,
the latter having just a suspicion of Irish brogue and blarney about it.
They were nice lively girls and much liked, as they were quite a
contrast to their mother. Indeed, it was surprising, considering her
disposition and their bringing up, that they were what they were. Had
it not been for them, Lady Dasher's existence would have been
considerably more monotonous and dreary than it was; but, thanks to
their assistance, she was kept thoroughly "posted up" in all the social
life going on in her midst, in which, through her own lache, she was
unable to take part.
Bessie and Seraphine did not attend parties, although sprightly, taking
girls like themselves would have been welcomed in almost any circle.
The fact was, people would have been glad enough to invite them, had
their mother not been jealous of any attention paid to her daughters
that was not extended to herself; and, hospitable as their friends might
be, it was but reasonable that a monument of grief and picture of woe
unutterable should not be earnestly sought after for the centre-piece of
a social gathering. It was owing to the same reason, also, that neither
of the girls had yet got married; for Lady Dasher would certainly have
expected any matrimonial proposal to have been made to herself in the
first instance, when, after declining the honour, she could have passed
the handkerchief to her daughters. Besides, the mere dread of having
the infliction of such a mother-in-law would have sufficed to frighten
off the most ardent wooer or rabid aspirant for connubial felicity.
Notwithstanding this, the girls went about to some extent in their own
ways; and, on their return home, naturally gossiped with their mother
over all they had seen and heard abroad. Thus it was that Lady Dasher
was so well-informed in all local matters, and why I thought of
appealing to her aid. But I should have to manage cautiously. She
would think nothing--she was such a simple-minded body--of detailing all
your inquiries to the very subject of them, in a fit of unguarded
confidence. Cross-examining her was a most diplomatic proceeding. If
you went the right way about it, you could get anything out of her
without committing yourself in the slightest way; whereas, if you set to
work wrongly, you might not only be foundered by a provoking reticence,
which she could assume at times, but might, also, some day hear that
your secret intentions and machiavellian conduct were the common talk of
the parish.
Lady Dasher, although of a strictly pious turn of mind, did not object
to Sunday callers. Good. I would go there that very afternoon after
lunch, and see how the land lay.
I kept my resolve, and went.
Ushered into the well-known little drawing-room of the corner house of
The Terrace, whose windows had a commanding view of the main
thoroughfare of our suburb, I had ample leisure, before the ladies
appeared, of observing the arrangement of certain fuchsias in a monster
flower-stand that took up half the room, on the growth and excellence of
which Lady Dasher prided herself greatly. Praise her fuchsias, and you
were the most excellent of men; pass them by unnoticed, and you might be
capable of committing the worst sin in the decalogue.
Is it not curious, how particular scents of flowers and their appearance
will call up old scenes and circumstances to your memory? To this day,
the mere sight of a fuchsia will bring back to my mind Lady Dasher's
little drawing-room; and I can fancy myself sitting in the old easy-
chair by the window, and listening to that morbid lady's chit-chat.
Presently my lady came in, pale and melancholy, as usual, and with her
normal expression of acutest woe.
"Dear me, Mr Lorton! how very ill you are looking, to be sure. Is
there not consumption in your family?"
"Not that I'm aware of, Lady Dasher, thank you," I replied; "but how
well _you_ are looking, if one may judge by appearances."
"Ah!" she sighed with deep sadness, "appearances, my young friend, are
very deceptive. I am _not_ well--far from it, in fact. I believe, Mr
Lorton, that I am fast hastening to that bourne from whence no traveller
ever returns. I would not be at all surprised to wake up some morning
and find that I was dead!"
"Indeed!" I said, for the fact she hinted at would have been somewhat
astonishing to a weak-minded person. I then tried to change the
conversation from this sombre subject to one I had more at heart; but it
was very hard to lead her on the track I wished. "We had a good
congregation to-day, Lady Dasher, I think," said I; "the church seemed
to be quite crammed."
"Really, now; do you think so? _I_ did not consider it at all a large
gathering. When poor dear papa was alive, I've seen twice the number
there, I am certain. _You_ may say that the falling off is due to the
hot weather and people going out of town, but _I_ think it is owing to
the spread of unbelief. We are living in terrible times, Mr Lorton.
It seems to me that every one is becoming more atheistic and wicked
every day. I don't know what we shall come to, unless we have another
deluge, or something of that sort, to recall us to our senses!"
Fortunately at this juncture, before Lady Dasher, could get into full
swing on her favourite theological hobby-horse--the degeneracy of the
present age--Bessie and Seraphine entered the room. The conversation
then became a trifle livelier, and we discussed the weather, the
fashions, and various items of clerical gossip.
I discreetly asked if they had seen any new faces in church. But no;
neither of them had, it was evident, seen my ladies in half-mourning,
about whom I was diffident of inquiring directly.
Were any fresh people coming to reside in the neighbourhood that they
had heard of?
"No," said Lady Dasher, with a melancholy shake of her head. "No; how
should they? It is not very likely that any new residents would come
_here_! The place may suit poor people like _me_, but would not take
the fancy of persons having plenty of money to spend, who can select a
house where they like. Ah! the miseries of poverty, Mr Lorton, and to
be poor but proud! I hope _you_ will never have my bitter experience,
I'm sure!"--with another sad shake of her head, and an expression on her
face that she was pretty certain that I _would_ one day arrive at the
same hollow estimate of life as herself. "No," she continued, "no new
people are at all likely to come here. I saw Mr Shuffler yesterday,
and asked if that house which he has to let in The Terrace were yet
taken, but he said, `not that he knew of;' he had `heard of nobody
coming'--had I? I assure you he was quite impertinent about it. He
would not have spoken to me so uncivilly had poor dear papa been alive,
I know! But it is always the way with that class of people:--they only
look upon you in the light of how much you are worth!"
"Oh, ma!" said Bessie Dasher, "I think Mr Shuffler very civil and
polite. He always makes me quite a low bow whenever he sees me."
"Ah! my dear," said her mother, "that's because you are young and
pretty, as I was once. He never bows to me as he used to do when your
grandpapa lived."
After a little more harping on the same string, the conversation
drooped; and, as none of them could give me any further information
towards assisting my quest, I took my leave of Lady Dasher and her
daughters, in a much less buoyant frame of mind than when I had first
thought of my visit an hour or so previously.
I had made certain that they would know something of the mysterious
ladies in half-mourning; consequently, I was all the more disappointed.
However, they had given me one hint; I would ask Shuffler himself, on
the morrow, whether any new residents were expected in the suburb.
Shuffler was a house-agent who had to do with all the letting and
taking, overhauling and repairing, of most of the habitations in our
neighbourhood. He was a portly, oily personage; one who clipped his
English royally, and walked, through the effects of bunions, I believe--
although some mistook it for gout, and gave him the credit of being
afflicted with that painful but aristocratic malady--as if he were
continuously on pattens, or wore those clumsy wooden sabots which the
Normandy peasantry use. He was also one-eyed, like Cyclops, the place
of the missing organ being temporarily filled with a round glass orb,
whose nature could be detected at a glance; this seemed to stare at you
with a dull, searching look and take mental and disparaging stock of
your person, while the sound eye was winking and blinking at you as
jovially as you please.
Shuffler was affable enough to me, as usual, in despite of Lady Dasher
having such a bad opinion of his manners; but, he could give me no
information such as I wanted to hear. Everybody, really, appeared to be
as cautious as "Non mi recordo" was on Queen Caroline's trial. Nobody
had heard of anybody coming to our neighbourhood. Nobody had seen any
strange faces about. Nobody knew anything!
It was quite vexatious.
I haunted the Prebend's Walk. I went to church three times every
Sunday, but did not meet her. The only thing I had to assure me that it
was not all a dream, and that I had really seen her, was the little
spray of mignonette, which I carried next my heart.
It was now July.
Sultry August came and passed; dull September followed suit; dreary
October ensued, in the natural cycle of the seasons; foggy, suicidal
November came; and yet, _she_ came not!
I felt almost weary of waiting and looking out and longing,
notwithstanding the inward assurance I had, and the fact of my whole
nature being imbued with the belief that we should meet again. We
_must_ meet. I knew _that_, I felt firmly convinced of it.
Thus the year wore on. Weeks and months elapsed since our meeting in
church, which I should never, never forget.
Dreary, dreary expectation! I lost interest regarding things in which I
had formerly been interested. The society of people which I had
previously coveted became distasteful to me.
Lady Dasher, you may be sure, I never went nigh; _she_ would have
altogether overwhelmed me.
As for that insufferable ass, Horner, he was always asking me whenever
we met, which was much oftener than I cared about, with a provoking
simper and his unmeaning, eye-glass stare and drawling voice--coupled
with a tone of would-be-facetious irony--"Bai-ey Je-ove! I say, old
fellah, seen those ladies in hawf-mawning yet, ah?"
Brute! I could have kicked him; and I wonder now that I didn't!
CHAPTER THREE.
M'APPARI.
"She's coming, my own, my sweet!
Had she never so airy a tread,
My heart would hear her, and beat,
Were it earth in an earthy bed!"
It was now November, as I have already said; and a very dull, dismal,
desolate November it was--more so, even, than usual. Fogs were
frequent, rain regular, and the sun singular in his appearance. It was
enough to make one feel miserable, without the haunting thoughts that
affected me; so, before the weather became too much for me and turned me
insane, I determined to go abroad for a short time to try what change of
air and scene could do towards relaxing my mind, although nothing could
banish the remembrance of _her_ from my heart.
When I came back to England, it was close on Christmas, and Christmas,
you must know, was always a busy and stirring time with us in our
suburb, especially so, too, for its younger and prettier parishioners.
Then the church had to be decorated--a matter not to be trifled with.
Commencing about a week or ten days before the festival, these young
ladies would gather themselves together in the old school-room, which
was a detached building, situated a short distance from Saint Canon's.
Here, the scholars being dismissed for their long holidays, they would
change the look of the academic apartment into that of a miniature
Covent Garden market or greengrocer's shop, filling it up with heaps of
evergreens--holly and ivy and yew, ad libitum, to be transformed by the
aid of their nimble fingers into all sorts of floral decorations.
Garlands were woven, elaborate illuminated texts and scrolls painted,
and wondrous crosses of commingled laurel leaves and holly berries
contrived; all of which went so far to change the aspect of the old
church, that those well acquainted with it could not help wondering
within themselves, if, indeed, it was really so _very_ old and ancient
after all as learned archaeologists said; while new comers, who only saw
it in its festal trim, had serious doubts as to whether they were not in
a ritualistic edifice--the vicar allowing the girls to have their own
way and import as much natural ornament as they pleased. The flowers
and shrubs were God's handiwork, he said, so why should they not be used
in God's service, to do honour to "the Giver of the feast?"
This year was no exception to the general practice. On my going down to
the school-room on the first day that the work of "the decorations"
began, which was the very morning after my return from the continent, I
found things just as they had been in previous years, save that some
half-a-dozen panes of glass had been smashed in the oriel window at the
eastern end of the room, through the incautious manipulation of a bunch
of holly by some "green" hand.
There were the usual number of young ladies, all of whose faces I knew
so well, engaged in the pious work; with Horner, Mr Mawley the curate,
and one or _two_ other attendant male aides, to minister to their
needs--such as stripping off leaves for wreath making--and help them to
flirt the dull hours away. Dear little Miss Pimpernell, our vicar's
maiden sister and good right hand, presided, also, to preserve order and
set an example for industrious souls to follow, just as she had been in
the habit of presiding as far back as I could recollect.
She was not there merely as a chaperon. Oh no! If Lady Dasher, sitting
on an upturned form in a corner, like a very melancholy statue of
Patience, was not sufficient to prevent the prudent proprieties from
being outraged, there was, also, the "model of all the virtues"
present--Miss Spight--a lady of a certain age, who, believing, as the
kindly beings of her order do, that there was too large a flow of the
milk of human kindness current in the world, deemed it her mission to
temper this dispensation by the admixture of as much vitriol and vinegar
as in her lay: she succeeded pretty well, too, for that matter, in her
practice and belief.
Little Miss Pimpernell was quite a different sort of body altogether to
Miss Spight. Every one who knew her, or ever saw her kindly face, loved
her and venerated her.
She was the very impersonification of good-nature, good-will, and good
action. Did any misfortune chance to befall some one with whom she was
acquainted, or any casual stranger with whom she might be brought in
contact, there was none of that "I told you so" spirit of philosophy
about _her_.
No; she tried to do her best for the sufferer as well as she was able;
and would not be contented until she was absolutely satisfied that
matters had somewhat mended.
Young and old, rich and poor, alike considered her as one of their best
friends--as indeed she was--a good Samaritan to whom they might always
confide their griefs and ailments, their sufferings and privations, with
the assurance that they would certainly meet with a kindly sympathy and
a word of comfort, in addition to as much practical assistance in their
adversity and physical consolation in their need as "little" Miss
Pimpernell--that was the fond title she was always known by--could
compass or give.
The worst of it was, that she was in such general request, that we had
to make up our minds to lose her sometimes.
Of course it was a selfish consideration, but we missed her and grumbled
at her visits and absences sadly; for, when she was away, everything
appeared to go wrong in the parish. Still none, knowing the
gratification that her ministrations gave her, would have grudged her
their indulgence.
She was never so happy as when she was helping somebody; and, of course,
people took advantage of her weakness, and were merciless in their calls
upon her time.
Whenever the most distant cousin or stray relative happened to be ill--
or about to move into a new house, or be married, or increase the
population in defiance of Malthus, or depart from the pomps and vanities
of this wicked world--as sure as possible would Miss Pimpernell be sent
for post haste. She had, as a matter of course, to nurse the patient,
assist the flitting, accelerate the wedding, welcome the little
stranger, or console the mourners as the case might be.
We, the inhabitants of the suburb which she blessed with her presence,
thought all this a gross infringement of our rights in her possession,
although we welcomed the dear old lady all the more gladly when we got
her back again amongst us once more.
As for confidences, I believe she had the skeleton secret of every soul
in the place confided to her sacred keeping at some one time or other;
and love stories! why, she must have been cram full of them--from the
heart-breaking affair of poor little Polly Skittles, the laundress'
pretty daughter, up to Baby Blake's last flirtation.
What her brother would have done without her, it would be impossible to
tell. She had quite as much to do with the parish as he; and, I'm sure,
if little Miss Pimpernell had not kept house for him and minded all his
temporal affairs, he would never have known what to eat or drink, or
what to put on.
The vicar had lost his wife soon after his marriage, when he was quite a
young man; but, instead of being bowed down by his affliction, as might
have been the case with a good many ardent natures like his, he
earnestly fought against it, buckling to his work, all the more
vigorously perhaps, as one of Christ's ministers.
Everybody thenceforth was wife and child, brother and sister to him:
humanity in general took the place of all family ties.
He was the purest Christian character I have ever come across, lovable,
intelligent, winning and merry, too, at times, in spite of his grief--
would that all ministers were like him to uphold the old love and honour
of our national Church!
No orator or skilled preacher in the pulpit, he simply led you captive
by his earnestness and evident thorough belief in all that he uttered;
so that "those who came to scoff, remained to pray." No hard, metallic
repetition by rote was his; but the plain, unvarnished story of the
gospel which he felt and of whose truth he was assured, animated by a
broad spirit of Protestantism that led him to extend a raising hand to
every erring brother, and see religion in other creeds besides his own.
"In his duty prompt at every call,
He watch'd and wept, he pray'd and felt for all;
And, as a bird each fond endearment tries,
To tempt its new-fledged offspring to the skies,
He tried each art, reproved each dull delay,
Allured to brighter worlds, and _led the way_!"
He and his good sister were, in fact, a pair of heart-oddities, whom to
know was to admire with reverential affection. They could not have had
an enemy or slanderer in the world. Even Miss Spight had never a word
to say against either; that alone spoke volumes for them.
"Oh, Frank," exclaimed little Miss Pimpernell as I entered the school-
room--she always called me by my Christian name, or styled me her "boy,"
having known me from childhood--"Oh, Frank! Here you are at last! I am
so glad to see you back again, my boy: you have just come in time to
help us. I was really afraid those nasty Frenchmen had eaten you up,
you have been such a long time away!"
"I dare say there's enough left of him," sneered Mr Mawley the curate.
_He_ was the direct opposite of the vicar; and a man whom I cordially
detested, the feeling, I believe, being mutual. He was consequential,
dogmatic, and with all the self-asserting priggishness of young Oxford
fresh upon him. I confess I was pretty much inclined the same way
myself; so, it was but natural that we should disagree: two suns, you
know, cannot shine in the same hemisphere.
Before I could answer him, Miss Pimpernell hastily interposed. She
hated to hear us arguing and bickering as was generally our way when we
met. "Please bring the measuring tape, Frank," she said, "you will find
it on that bench in the corner; and come and see how long my wreath is.
It should be just nineteen feet, but I'm afraid I am a yard short."
By the time I had done as my old friend requested, the conversation
which I had interrupted by my advent resumed its course. They were
talking about the future world, and ventilating sundry curious thoughts
on the subject.
"And what do _you_ think heaven will be like?" asked Seraphine Dasher,
appealing to me. "Everybody's opinion has been given but yours and Miss
Pimpernell's, and Mr Mawley's; and I'm coming to them presently."
"I'm sure I can't say," I answered, "perhaps a combination of choral
music, running water, I mean the sound of brooks gliding and fountains
splashing, with almond toffee at discretion: that's my idea of earthly
felicity at least."
"Oh, fie!" said my interlocutor; while I could hear Miss Spight murmur
"What deplorable levity," as she glowered at me severely and looked
sympathisingly at Mr Mawley.
"Well," said I, "I was only joking then; for, really, I've never
seriously thought about the matter. As far as I can believe, however, I
do not imagine heaven is going to be a place where we'll be singing
hymns all day. I think we shall be happy there, each in our several
ways, as we are on earth, and be in the company of those we love: heaven
would be miserable without that, I think."
"And what do you say, Miss Pimpernell?" next asked Seraphine.
"I do not say anything at all, my dear: the subject is beyond me. I
leave it to One who is wiser than us all to tell me in his own good
time."
"And you, Mr Mawley?" continued our fair questioner.
"We should not seek to understand the mysteries of the oracles of God,"
said the curate pompously.
"My dear, I can tell you," said the vicar, who had slipped in quietly,
unknown to us all, "`Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have
entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for
them that love him!'"
"I wonder, sir," said I, "whether that text, `In My Father's house are
many mansions,' means that there are different degrees of happiness in
the future world?"
"That passage," said the vicar, "is one whose interpretation has been
more disputed than any I know. Some say it has the meaning which you
attach to it; while others, with whom I am more inclined to agree, think
that it conveys only the promise and assurance that in heaven there will
be found room for us all. You must remember that we in the present day
have the Bible through the medium of translation; and all translations
are liable to error. Why, if you read the Book of Job, for instance, in
the original Hebrew, without the arbitrary division into verses which
the translators of the authorised version inserted, you would find it a
perfect poem!"
"For my part," said Mr Mawley, "I do not think we ought to speak about
religious matters in this sort of way, and make them subjects for
general conversation."
"I don't agree with you, Mawley," said the vicar, "the truth is not so
brittle that we should be afraid of handling it; if religion were more
openly discussed and brought into our daily life, I believe we should be
all the better for it."
"Ah, you are Broad Church!" said the curate.
"Very well, be it so," said the vicar good-humouredly; "I'm not ashamed
of it, so long as you allow that I'm at least a Christian."
"What _is_ Broad Church, Mr Mawley?" asked Bessie Dasher, who was
suspected of having tender feelings towards the curate, for she
generally deferred to his views and opinions.
"Broad Church," said Mr Mawley, "holds that every man is at liberty to
judge for himself; and that any Sectarian or Unitarian, or heathen, has
as much chance of heaven as you or I."
"Positively shocking!" said Miss Spight, in virtuous indignation at any
nonconformist being esteemed as worthy of future salvation as herself.
"Oliver Wendell Holmes," I said, "gives a truer exposition. He says
that `the narrow church may be seen in the ship's boats of humanity, in
the long boat, in the jolly boat, in the captain's gig, lying off the
poor old vessel, thanking God that _they_ are safe, and reckoning how
soon the hulk containing the mass of their fellow-creatures will go
down. The Broad Church is on board, working hard at the pumps, and very
slow to believe that the ship will be swallowed up with so many poor
people in it, fastened down under the hatches ever since it floated!'"
"Ah, that is better," said the vicar. "It is there put very aptly. If
we could only be less bigoted, and assimilate our various sects
together, what a happy church would ours be! We all have the same sure
fundamental ground of belief, and only differ in details."
"But, my dear sir," said the curate, in pious horror, "that is rank
latitudinarianism!"
"Latitudinarianism or not, Mawley," said the vicar, "it is the
Christianity and doctrine that earnest thinkers like Kingsley and
Maurice preach and practise. If we could only all act up to it--all act
up to it!"
"Then, I suppose," said Mr Mawley, "that you agree with the writers of
_Essays and Reviews_?"
"Suppose nothing, my dear Mawley," said the vicar, kindly but seriously,
"except what you have facts to vouch for. I do not say I agree with
them or not."
"And do you think the hare chewed the cud, as Colenso says?" asked Baby
Blake, with such a serious face that we could not help laughing at her.
"Proximus ille deo est qui scit ratione tacere!" said the vicar, putting
on his hat and moving towards the door.
"And what does that mean, brother?" asked Miss Pimpernell.
"My dear, it is only Dionysius Cato's original Latin for our old English
proverb, `A silent tongue shows a wise head!'" said the vicar; and he
then went out to attend to his parish duties, promising to look in upon
us again, and see how we were getting on before we separated for the
day.
On his departure, our conversation veered round to local chit-chat.
"Have you heard the news about The Terrace yet, Frank?" asked Miss
Pimpernell.
"No," I said. "What is it?"
"Number sixty-five is let at last!"
"Indeed," said I; "how pleased old Shuffler must be, for the house has
hung a long time on his hands. Who are the people that have taken it?"
"A widow lady and her daughter. Their name is Clyde, and they have a
good deal of money, I believe," said Bessie Dasher.
"Bai-ey Je-ove!" exclaimed Horner. "I say, old fellah, p'waps they ah
those ladies in hawf-mawning, ah?"
"Dear me! this is quite interesting," said Miss Spight. "Do let me know
what the joke is about ladies in half-mourning, Mr Lorton--something
romantic, I've no doubt." She was always keen to scent out what might
be disagreeable to other people, was Miss Spight!
"Oh, it's only Horner's nonsense!" said I. "But what are these Clydes
like?"
"Very nice, indeed!" said Miss Pimpernell. "The mother is extremely
well-bred and ladylike, and the daughter Minnie--such a pretty name,
Frank--is quite a little darling. I'm positively in love with her, and
I'm sure you will like her. They are very nice people indeed, my boy,
and thorough acquisitions to our little society."
"I only hope so, Miss Pimpernell," sighed Lady Dasher; "but appearances,
you know, are _so_ deceitful sometimes."
"Ah!" ejaculated Miss Spight, "handsome is as handsome does! We'll see
them by and by in their true colours; new brooms, Lady Dasher, sweep
clean. Ah!"
There was a world in that "ah!"
"Well," said little Miss Pimpernell, in her staunch good-nature, "I
think it is best to be charitable and take people as we find them. I
have seen a good deal of the Clydes during the month they have been here
and like them very much. But you will have an opportunity of judging
for yourself, Frank, as Minnie Clyde promised me to come down to-day and
help us with the decorations."
"She's a very nice-looking girl," said the curate.
"Do you really think her pretty?" asked Bessie Dasher. One could detect
a slight tone of dissatisfaction in her voice, and she spoke with a
decided pout.
"Well, perhaps she's not exactly pretty," said Mr Mawley,
diplomatically; "but nice-looking, at all events--that was the word I
used, Miss Bessie."
"But she dresses so plainly!" said Lizzie Dangler.
"I call her quite a dowdthy!" lisped Baby Blake.
"And I say she's very nice!" said Seraphine Dasher, who had none of the
petty dislike of her sex to praise another girl that might turn out to
be a possible rival.
"That's right, my dear," said Miss Pimpernell; "I'm glad, Seraphine, to
hear you take the part of the absent; Miss Clyde ought to be here now--
she promised me to come soon after luncheon."
Even as the good old soul spoke, I heard the outer door of the school-
room open, and a light footstep along the passage. "There she is now, I
do believe!" whispered Miss Pimpernell to me.
I could scarcely breathe. I felt that I had at last arrived at the
crisis of my life. It must be _her_, I thought, for my heart palpitated
with wild pulsations.
And, as the thought thrilled through me, my lost madonna entered the
room.
I was not one whit surprised. I had been certain that I should see her
again!
CHAPTER FOUR.
"HOPE."
"The wit, the vivid energy of sense,
The truth of nature, which, with Attic point,
And kind, well-temper'd satire, smoothly keen,
Steals through the soul, and without pain corrects."
Yes, she it was of whom I had thought and dreamt, and built airy castles
on imaginative foundations--chateaux en Espagne--that had almost
crumbled into vacancy during those long and weary weeks, and monotonous
months, of waiting, and watching, and longing!
She entered; and the dull, disordered school-room, with its leaf-strewn
floor all covered with broken branches and naked boughs of chopped-up
evergreens, its mass of piled forms, its lumbering desks and hassocks,
its broken windows, its down-hanging maps of colossal continents, seemed
changed all at once, in a moment, as if by the touch of some magic wand,
into an enchanted palace.
The fairy princess had at last appeared, the sleeping beauty been
awakened; and all was altered.
The semi-transparent sprig of mistletoe, which Seraphine Dasher had
mischievously suspended over the doorway, looked like a chaplet of
pearls; the pointed stems of yew became frosted in silver; the
variegated holly was transformed into branches of malachite, ornamented
with a network of gold, its bright red berries glowing with a ruddy
reflection as of interspersed rubies; while, above all, the glorious
sunshine, streaming in through the shattered panes of the oriel at the
eastern end, cast floods of quickening, mellow light, to the remotest
corners of the room, making the floating atoms of dust turn to waves of
powdery amber, and enriching every object it touched with its luminous
rays. Even the very representations of Europe, Asia, and Africa, on the
walls, lost their typographical characteristics, and shone out to me in
the guise of tapestried chronicles, ancient as those of Bayeux,
describing deeds of gallant chivalry--so my fancy pictured--and love,
and knight-errantry, painted over with oriental arabesques in crimson
gilding, the cunning handiwork of the potent sun-god. Her coming in
effected all this to my mind.
What a darling she looked, sitting there, with a pretty little scarlet
and white sontag, of soft wool knitting, crossed over her bosom and
clasped round her dainty, dainty waist; her busy fingers industriously
weaving broad ivy garlands for the church columns, and her sweet, calm
face bent earnestly over her task--the surrounding foliage, scattered
here, there, and everywhere, bringing out her well-formed figure in
relief, just like a picture in some rustic portrait frame! Micat inter
omnes, as Virgil sang of "the young Marcellus," his hero: she "glistened
out before them all."
Of course she was introduced to me.
"Mr Lorton--Miss Minnie Clyde." Now, at last, I had met her and knew
her name! What a pretty name she had, too, as little Miss Pimpernell
had said! Just in keeping with its owner.
As my name was pronounced, she raised her beautiful grey eyes from the
garland in her lap; and I could perceive, from a sudden gleam of
intelligence which shot through them for an instant, that I was at once
recognised:--from my face, I'm sure, she must have noticed that _she_
had not been forgotten.
I was in heaven; I would not have relinquished my position, kneeling at
her feet and stripping off ivy leaves for her use, no, not for a
dukedom!
Our conversation became again imperceptibly of a higher tone. Hers was
light, sparkling, brilliant; and one could see that she possessed a fund
of native drollery within herself, despite her demure looks and downcast
eyes. She had a sweet, low voice, "that most excellent thing in woman;"
while her light, silvery laughter rippled forth ever and anon, like a
chime of well-tuned bells, enchaining me as would chords of Offenbach's
champagne music.
In comparison with her, Lizzie Dangler's prosy platitudes, which some
deemed wit--Horner, par exemple--sank into nothingness, and Baby Blake,
one of the "gushing" order of girlhood, appeared as a stick, or, rather,
a too pliant sapling--her inane "yes's" and lisping "no's" having an
opportunity of being "weighed in the balance," and consequently, in my
opinion, "found wanting." All were mediocre beside her. Perhaps I was
prejudiced; but, now, the remarks of the other girls seemed to me
singularly silly.
From light badinage, we got talking of literature. Some one, Mr Mawley
the curate, I think, drew a parallel between Douglas Jerrold and
Thackeray, describing both, in his blunt, dogmatic way, as cynics.
To this I immediately demurred. In the first place, because Mawley was
so antipathetical to me, that I dearly loved to combat his assertions;
and, secondly, on account of his disparaging my beau ideal of all that
is grand and good in a writer and in man.
"You make a great mistake," I said, "for Thackeray is a satirist pur et
simple. Jerrold was a cynic, if you please, although he had a wonderful
amount of kindly feeling even in his bitterest moods--indeed I would
rather prefer calling him a one-sided advocate of the poor against the
rich, than apply to him your opprobrious term."
"Well, cynic or satirist, I should like to know what great difference
lies between the two?" the curate retorted, glad of an argument, and
wishing, as usual, to display his critical acumen by demolishing me.
"I will tell you with pleasure," said I, not a bit "put out," according
to his evident wish and expectation, "and I will use the plainest
language in my exposition, so that you may be able to understand me! A
cynic, I take it, is one who talks or writes bitterly, in the
gratification of a malicious temperament, merely for the sake of
inflicting pain on the object of his attack, just as a bad-dispositioned
boy will stick pins in a donkey, or persecute a frog, for the sheer sake
of seeing it wince: a satirist, on the contrary, is a philosopher who
ridicules traits of character, customs and mannerisms, with the
intention of remedying existing evils, abolishing abuses, and reforming
society--in the same way as a surgeon performs an operation to remove an
injured limb, inflicting temporary pain on his patient, with the
prospect of ultimate good resulting from it. I have never seen this
definition given anywhere; consequently, as it is but my own private
opinion, you need only take it for what it is worth."
"Thank you, Mr Lorton," said _somebody_, giving me a gratefully
intelligent look from a pair of deep, thinking grey eyes.
"Oh, indeed! so that's your opinion, Lorton?" put in Mr Mawley, as
antagonistic as ever. "So that's your opinion, is it? I _will_ do as
you say, and take it for what it is worth--that is, keep my own still!
You may be very sharp and clever, and all that sort of thing, my dear
fellow; but I don't see the difference between the two that you have so
lucidly pointed out. Satire and cynicism are co-equal terms to my mind:
your argument won't persuade me, Lorton, although I must say that you
are absolutely brilliant to-day. You should really start a school of
Modern Literature, my dear fellow, and set up as a professor of the
same!"
"Please get my scissors, Frank," said Miss Pimpernell, trying to stop
our wordy warfare. I got them; but I had my return blow at the curate
all the same.
"I suppose you'd be one of my first pupils, Mr Mawley," I said. "I
think I could coach you up a little!"
He was going to crush me with some of his sledge-hammer declamation,
being thoroughly roused, when Bessie Dasher averted the storm, by
entering the arena and changing the conversation to a broader footing.
"How I dote on Thackeray!" she exclaimed with all her natural
impulsiveness. "What a dear, delicious creature Becky Sharp is; and
that funny old baronet, Sir Pitt something or other, too! When I first
took up _Vanity Fair_ I could not let it out of my hands until I
finished it."
"That's more than I can say," said the curate. "I don't like Thackeray.
He cuts up every one and everything. Is not that a cynic for you?"
"Not everybody," said Min--I cannot call her anything else now--coming
to my assistance, "not everybody, Mr Mawley. I think Thackeray, with
all his satire and kindly laughter in his sleeve at persons that ought
to be laughed down, has yet given us some of the most pathetic touches
of human nature existing in English literature. There's the old colonel
in _The Newcomes_, for instance. That little bit about his teaching his
tiny grandson to say his prayers, before he put him into bed in his poor
chamber in the Charter House, to which he was reduced, would make any
one cry. And Henry Esmond, and Warrington, and Laura--where would you
find more nobly-drawn characters than those?" and she stopped, out of
breath with her defence of one of the greatest writers we have ever had,
indignant, with such a pretty indignation, at his merits being
questioned for a moment.
"Of course I must bow to your decision, Miss Clyde," said the curate,
with one of those stock ceremonial bows that stood him in such good
stead amongst the female community of the parish. He was a cunning
fellow, Mawley. Knew which way his interest lay; and never went against
the ladies if he could help it. "But," he continued, "if we talk of
pathos, there's `the great master of fiction,' Dickens; who can come up
to him?"
"Ah, yes! Mr Mawley,"--chorused the majority of the girls--"we quite
agree with you: there's nobody like Dickens!"
It is a strange thing how perverse the divine sex is, in preferring
confectionery to solid food; and superficial writers, to those who dive
beneath the surface of society and expose its rottenness--like as they
esteem Tupper's weak-minded version of Solomon's Proverbs beyond the
best poetry that ever was written!
I wasn't going to be beaten by the curate, however, prattled he never so
wisely with the cunning of the serpent-charmer. "I grant you," said I,
"that Dickens appeals oftener to our susceptible sympathies; but he is
_unreal_ in comparison with Thackeray. The one was a far more correct
student of human nature than the other. Dickens selected
exceptionalities and invested them with attributes which we never see
possessed by their prototypes whom we may meet in the world. He gives
us either caricature, or pictures of men and women seen through a rose-
coloured medium: Thackeray, on the other hand, shows you life _as it
is_. He takes you behind the scenes and lets you perceive for yourself
how the `dummies' and machinery are managed, how rough the distemper
painting, all beauty from the front of `the house,' looks on nearer
inspection, how the `lifts' work, and the `flats' are pushed on; besides
disclosing all the secrets connected with masks and `properties.' He is
not content in merely allowing you to witness the piece from before the
curtain, in the full glory of that distance from the place of action
which lends enchantment to the view, and with all the deceptive
concomitants of music and limelights and Bengal fire! To adopt another
illustration, I should say that Dickens was the John Leech of fictional
literature, Thackeray its Hogarth. Even Jerrold, I think, in his most
bitter, cynical moods, was truer to life and nature than Dickens. Did
you ever read the former's _Story of a Feather_, by the way?"
"No," answered Mawley, testily, "I can't say I ever did; and I don't
think it likely I ever will."
"Well, I dare say you are quite right, Frank," said the kindly voice of
my usual ally little Miss Pimpernell, interposing just at the right
time--as she always did, indeed--to throw oil on the troubled waters.
"But, still, I like Dickens the best. Do you know, children," she went
on, looking round, as we all sat watching her dear old wrinkled face
beaming cheerily on us through her spectacles, "do you know, children,
I've no doubt you'll laugh at me for telling you, but, when I first read
`David Copperfield'--and I was an old woman then--I cried my eyes out
over the account of the death of poor Dora's little dog Gyp. Dear
little fellow! Don't you recollect how he crawled out of his tiny
Chinese pagoda house, and licked his master's hand and died? I think
it's the most affecting thing in fiction I ever read in my life."
"And I, too, dear Miss Pimpernell," said Min, in her soft, low voice,
which had a slight tremor as she spoke, and there was a misty look in
her clear grey eyes--silent witnesses of the emotion that stirred her
heart. "I shed more tears over poor Gyp than I can bear to think of
now--except when I cried over little Tiny Tim, in the `Christmas Carol,'
where, you remember, the spirit told Uncle Scrooge that the cripple boy
would die. That affected me equally, I believe; and I could not read it
dry-eyed now."
"Nor I," lisped Baby Blake, following suit, in order to keep up her
reputation for sentimentality; "I would thob my eyth out!"
"See," quoted the curate, grandiloquently, "how `one touch of nature
makes the whole world kin!'"
"For my part," exclaimed Miss Spight, who had taken no share in our
conversation since we had dropped personalities, "I don't see the use of
people crying over the fabulous woes of a lot of fictitious persons that
never existed, when there is such an amount of real grief and misery
going on in the world."
"That is not brought home to us," said Min, courageously; "but the
troubles and trials of the people in fiction are; and I believe that
every kind thought which a writer makes throb through our hearts, better
enables us to pity the sorrows of actual persons."
"Bai-ey Je-ove!" exclaimed Horner, twisting his eye-glass round and
making an observation for the first time--the discussion before had been
apparently beyond his depth,--"Bai-ey Je-ove! Ju-ust what I was gaw-ing
to say! Bai-ey Je-ove, yaas! But Miss Spight is much above human
emawtion, you know, and all that sawt of thing, you know-ah!"
"Besides," continued Min, not taking any notice of our friend's original
remark I was glad to see, "one does not always cry over novels. I'm
sure I've laughed more than I've wept over Dickens, and other authors."
"Ah!" said Lady Dasher, with a melancholy shake of her head, "life is
too serious for merry-making! It is better to mourn than to rejoice, as
I've often heard my poor dear papa say when he was alive."
"Nonsense, ma!" pertly said her daughter Seraphine; "you can't believe
that. I'm sure I'd rather laugh than cry, any day. And so would you,
too, ma, in spite of your seriousness!"
"Your mamma is quite right in some respects, my dear," said little Miss
Pimpernell. "We should not be always thinking of nothing but merry-
making. Don't you recollect those lines of my favourite Herrick?--
"`Time flies away fast!
The while we never remember,
How soon our life here
Grows old with the year,
That dies in December.'"
"Yes, I do, you cross old thing!" said the seraph, shaking her golden
locks and laughing saucily; "and I remember also that your `favourite
Herrick' says something else about one's `gathering rose-buds whilst one
may.'"
"You naughty girl!" said Miss Pimpernell, trying to look angry and frown
at her; but the attempt was such a palpable pretence that we all laughed
at her as much as the delinquent.
"And what is your favourite style of poetry, Miss Clyde?" asked the
curate, taking advantage of the introduction of Herrick to change the
subject.
And then there followed a chorus of discussion: Miss Spight declared she
adored Wordsworth: Mr Mawley tried to show off his superiority, and I
attempted to put him down; I believe I was jealous lest Min should agree
with him.
"Now, Frank," exclaimed Miss Pimpernell, "I will not have any more
sparring between you and Mr Mawley, for I'm sure you've argued enough.
It is `the merry Christmas-time,' you know; and we ought all to be at
peace, and gay and happy, too! What do you say, girls?"
"But what shall we do to be merry?" asked Bessie Dasher.
"Ah! my dear," groaned her mother; "it is not right to be foolishly
`merry,' as you call it. This season of the year is a very sad one, and
we ought to be thinking, as my poor dear papa used to say, of what our
Saviour did for us and the other world! We have now arrived at the end
of another year, and it is very sad, very sad!"
"What!" exclaimed Min, "wrong to be merry at Christmas? The vicar said
in his sermon last Sunday, that our hearts ought to expand with joy at
this time; and that we should try, not only to be glad and happy in
ourselves, but also to make others glad and happy, too. It appears to
me," and her face flushed with excitement as she spoke, "a very
erroneous idea of religion that would only associate it with gloom and
sadness. The same Creator endowed us with the faculty to laugh as well
as cry; and we must take poor comfort in him if we cannot be glad in his
company, to which the Christmas season always brings us nearer and into
more intimate connection, as it were."
"Bravo, my little champion!" said the vicar, who had again stolen in
unperceived by us all. "That is the spirit of true Christianity. You
have preached a more practical sermon than I, my dear." Then, seeing
her confusion at being thus singled out and her embarrassment at having,
as she thought, been too forward in speaking out impulsively on the spur
of the moment, the vicar created a diversion. "And now, young ladies,"
he said, "as we are going to be merry, what shall we play at?"
"Oh, puss in the corner!" cried Seraphine Dasher. "That will be
delightful!"
"With all my heart; puss in the corner be it," said the vicar, who could
be a boy again on fitting occasions, and play with the best of us.
"Come, Mawley," he added, "come and exert yourself; and help to pull
these forms out of the way," setting to work vigorously at the same
time, himself.
In another minute or two we were in the middle of a wild romp, wherein
little Miss Pimpernell and the vicar were the most active participants--
they showing themselves to be quite as active as the younger hands;
while Miss Spight and Lady Dasher were the only idle spectators. Min at
first did not join in, as she was not accustomed to the ways of us old
habitues, but she presently participated, being soon as gay and noisy as
any. What fun we had in blindfolding Horner, and manoeuvring so that he
should rush into the arms of Miss Spight! What a shout of laughter
there was when he exclaimed, clasping her the while, "Bai-ey Je-ove!
Yaas, I've cawght you at lawst!"
The look of pious horror which settled on the face of the elderly maiden
was a study.
Thus our working day ended; and it became time to separate and go home.
I had the further happiness of seeing Min to her door, both of us living
in the same direction.
It was the same on the morrow, and on the morrow after that, for a whole
week.
Of course, we did not talk "Shakspeare and the musical glasses" always.
Our discourse was generally composed of much lighter elements,
especially when Mr Mawley and I did not come in contact--argument being
then, naturally, as a dead letter. Our conversation during these
peaceful interregnums mainly consisted in friendly banter, parish news,
and gossip. Scandal Miss Pimpernell never permitted; indeed, no one
would have had the heart to say an ill-natured thing of anybody else in
her presence.
Day after day Min and I were closely associated together, learning to
know more of one another than we might have acquired in years of
ordinary society intercourse; day after day, I would watch her dainty
figure, and study her beautiful face, and gaze into the fathomless
depths of her honest grey eyes, my love towards her increasing by such
rapid strides, that, at length, I almost worshipped the very ground on
which she trod.
And so the week wore by, until Christmas Eve arrived. Then our task was
finished, and we decorated Saint Canon's old church with all the wreaths
and garlands, the crosses and illuminations, on which we had been so
busy in the school-room; making it look quite modern in its festal
preparation for the ensuing day, when the result of our handiwork would
be displayed to the admiration, we hoped, of the congregation at large.
On parting with Min late in the evening at her door--for our work at the
church had occupied us longer than usual--I thought it the happiest
Christmas Eve I had ever passed; and, as I went to bed that night, I
wondered, dreamily, if the morning's sun would rise for another as happy
a day, while I prayed to God that He would shape my life in accordance
with the fervent desire of my heart.
CHAPTER FIVE.
"JOY."
"Love took up the glass of Time, and turn'd it in his glowing hands;
Every moment, lightly shaken, ran itself in golden sands.
Love took up the harp of life, and smote on all the chords with might;
Smote the chord of self that, trembling, pass'd in music out of
sight!"
It was a regular joyous, jolly, old-fashioned Christmas morning: bright,
sparkling, exhilarating.
Just sufficient snow had fallen during the night to give that semblance
of winter to the house-tops and hedge-rows, with a faint white powdering
of the roadway and pavement, which adds so much to the quondam season of
family gatherings, merrymakings, and plum-pudding; and this, King Frost
had hardened by his patent adamantine process, so that it might not
cause any inconvenience to foot passengers or lose its virgin freshness;
while, at the same time, he decked and bedizened each separate twig and
branch of the poor, leafless, skeleton trees with rare festal jewels and
ear-drops of glittering icicles; besides weaving fantastic devices of
goblin castles and airy, feathery foliage on the window panes, fairy
armies in martial array and delicate gnome-tracery--transforming their
appearance from that of ordinary glass into brilliantly-embroidered
flakes of transparent, lucent crystal. Ah me! Jack Frost is a cunning
enchanter: his will is all-powerful, his taste wondrous.
The clanging church bells were merrily ringing in "the day of glad
tidings," as our good vicar styled it, when I jumped out of bed and
looked out to see what the weather was like. It was exactly as I could
have wished--if I had had any choice in the matter--Christmas all over!
A little robin acquaintance, who never omitted his daily call at my
window-ledge for his matutinal crumbs, was stretching his tiny crimson
throat to its fullest extent, with quivering heart-notes of choral song,
from a solitary poplar-tree in the adjacent garden on which my room out-
looked, making the still air re-echo with his melody; my old retriever,
Catch, a good dog and true, was pawing and scratching at the door to be
admitted, in his customary way, and sniffing a cordial welcome, as he
wondered and grumbled, in the most intelligible doggy language, at my
being so late in taking him out for his preprandial walk--when it was
such a fine morning, too! I heard the maid wishing me a cheery "Merry
Christmas, sir!" as she left my hot water; so, it is not to be wondered
that, after I had had the moral courage to plunge into my cold tub,
dressing afterwards in a subsequent glow, I became infected with the
buoyant spirit of all these social surroundings; and felt as light-
hearted and "seasonable" as Santa Claus and his wintry comrades, the
church bells, little robin redbreast, dog Catch, and Bridget the maid,
could either inspire or expect.
Dog Catch and I sallied forth for our walk--I, cheerful, and drinking in
healthy draughts of the fresh, frosty aether; he with great red tongue
lolling out, as he trotted along in front of me, coming back every
second step and looking up into my face with a broad grin on his jaws
and a roguish glance in his brown eyes--I suppose at some funny canine
joke or other, which he could not permit me to share--or else, darting
backwards and forwards, gleefully barking and making sundry feints and
dashes at me; or, prancing up in his elephantine bounds, with felonious
intentions regarding my walking stick, which he considered he had a much
better right to carry than myself.
We had lots of meetings and greetings when strolling along.
First, there was the gardener's dog at the corner, an old chum of
Catch's, who passed the time of day to us with a cheerful bow-wow;
although I was surprised to see that he had not "a posy tied to his
tail," according to the orthodox adage of typical smartness. Then there
was the milkman's dog, a gaunt retriever like mine, but of a very bad
disposition, and a surly brute withal. He and Catch were deadly foes,
as is frequently the case with dogs of the same breed; so, of course,
they could never meet without quarrelling: on this occasion they
exchanged ferocious challenges, and parted with signs and symptoms of
unmitigated contempt on both sides, expressed by growls and barks, tail
risings, and mane upliftings.
Further on, we encountered Mrs O'Flannagan, an Irish lady, who kept the
fruit stall at the corner by the cross roads. She was dressed, as
neatly as a new pin, in an "illigant" Connemara cloak, which seemed to
be donned for the first time, besides a bran new bonnet; and, thanks to
"elbow grease," her peachy, soap-scrubbed cheeks shone again. She was
returning from early chapel, whither she had gone to mass and
confession; and where I trust she had received absolution for her little
peccadilloes. I've no doubt she _did_ get absolution, for she told me
that Father Macmanus was "a raal gintleman."
Then Catch chased a roving cat until it got within the neighbouring
shelter of its domiciliary railings, whence it me-ai-ouwed to him,
through all the vowels of pussy's vocabulary, a Christmas compliment--
with, probably, a curse tacked on to the tail of it, or that "phoo!
phoo! phiz!" meant nothing. But the feline expletives were all thrown
away; for Catch was only "full of fun and with nobody to play with him,"
like Peter Mooney's goose, and had only chased pussy in the natural
exuberance of his spirits, having no "hard feelings" towards her, or any
desire, I know, to injure her soft tabby fur.
We next came across old Shuffler, the house-agent, waddling along, with
his sound eye rolling buoyantly on its axis, while the artificial orb
glared steadily forward in a fixed, glassy stare.
"Bootiful weether!" said he, cordially, to me, touching his
hat--"bootiful weether, sir!"
"It _is_ a fine day," I responded. "A merry Christmas to you, Mr
Shuffler."
"Same to you, sir, and many on 'em," he replied, courteously.
"Thank you, Shuffler," I said, satisfied with the colloquy, "but I must
now say good day!"
"Good day, and a 'appy noo year to you," answered he, passing on his
way. Really, everybody appeared to be very civil and good natured to-
day; and everything joyous and rose-coloured! Was it owing to the
bright morning, or to the fact of its being Christmas, or to the sweet
feelings I had lying hidden in my heart anent my darling?
I cannot tell: can you?
After a time Catch and I reached the river. It was not now rolling by,
a muddy, silent, whilom sluggish, whilom busy stream. It was quite
transformed in its appearance and resembled more some frozen arctic
stream than the old Thames which I knew so well. Far as the eye could
reach, it was covered with sheets of broken ice, again congealed
together and piled up with snow--so many little bergs, that had been
born at Great Marlow and Hampton, and other spots above the locks;
gradually increasing in size and bulk as they span round and swept by on
the current, until they should reach the bridges below. Then, they
would, perhaps, be formed into one great icefield, stretching from bank
to bank, whereon a grand bullock-roasting festival might be held, or a
fancy fair instituted, as happened in the reign of James, the king, "of
ever pious memory:" that is, if my chronology be right and my memory not
at fault, as may very possibly be the case.
Doggy did not mind the ice a bit, however. He plunged in, time after
time, to fetch out my in-thrown stick, with a frisky bound; emerging
after the performance with ice-pendants to his glossy, silken ears and
coat smartly curled, as if he had just paid a visit to Truefitt's, and
been manipulated by the dexterous hands of one of the assistants at that
celebrated establishment, armed with the crinal tongs and anybody's best
macassar.
By-and-by we returned; and whom should I then meet on my way home but,
positively, my eye-glass acquaintance of Downing Street. Fancy his
being out before nine o'clock in the morning! It was an unparalleled
occurrence.
"Hullo, Horner!" I sang out, "'morning, old fellow. Compliments of the
season!"
"Bai-ey Je-ove! Lorton, how you stawtled me--'do!"
"You don't mean to say," I asked, on getting closer to him, "that you've
actually taken to early rising?"
"No, 'pon honah, I asshaw you, my deah fellah, no!" he replied, quite
excitedly. "No, I asshaw you, no," he repeated.
"Well, then, what on earth makes you come out at this early unearthly
hour?" I said.
"Oh--ah! you see--ah, my deah fellah," he answered, "it was all those
confawnded little bahds and the bells kicking up such a raow; that, 'pon
honah, I couldn't sleep and so I came out. I asshaw you it was all
those bweastwy little bahds and the bells!"
"At all events, I must congratulate you on your reformation," I said.
"Yaas? But it was all those bweastwy little bahds and the bells, you
know; and it's only once a ye-ah you know, Lorton," he added.
"So you will never do so again till next time--is that what you mean,
Horner?" I asked.
"Yaas! But, bai-ey Je-ove, I say, Lorton, my deah fellah, were the
Clydes those ladies in hawf-mawning, eh?" said he, smiling feebly in his
usual suave manner. He thought he had got hold of a grand joke at my
expense.
However, I was not in the least angry with him. I felt too happy to
have lost my temper with any one, especially Horner, whom I generally
regarded as a poor creature to be tolerated rather than blamed.
"Did you ever hear, Horner," said I, "how Peabody made his first
fortune?"
"No, 'pon honah, I asshaw you, no."
"Well, then, I'll tell you, Horner," said I. "It was by minding his own
business, my dear fellow."
"Bai-ey Je-ove!" he ejaculated, adding, after a pause, "Weally, Lorton,
you dawn't mean it?"
"I suppose," I continued, "that you are also just as ignorant again how
Mr Peabody made his second and greater fortune, eh?"
"Yaas," he drawled out.
"Ah," said I, "he got _that_ by letting other people's business alone!"
"Bai-ey Je-ove!" said Horner, quite staggered at this second blow.
"Vewy amusing anecdote, indeed! Thank you, Lorton. Much obwiged, and
all that sawt of thing, for the in-fawmation. Yaas, bai-ey Je-ove! And
so I'll say good day. Good day, Lorton; good day to you!" and he
started off, with a quick step, in the very opposite direction to that
which he had been previously going. I went on homeward, with Catch
following obediently at my heels.
Which way did we go?
Can you not guess, or must I have to tell you?
How very obtuse some persons are!
Why, by The Terrace, of course. Was it not there that Min lived; and
might I not chance to get a glance from her love-speaking, soft grey
eyes? Only one glance--and I would be amply repaid!
I passed by her house. Yes, there she was at the window, attending to
her flowers and carefully shielding a much-prized little maidenhair fern
with a bell glass from the rays of the sun, which beamed as though
Phoebus had mistaken the season and thought it a summer day.
She saw me as I sauntered by, recognising me with a little nod and smile
and a sudden heightening of colour; and came to the door. Of course I
went up the steps and spoke to her. _You_ would have proceeded on your
way with a passing bow? Oh, yes!
"Good morning, Mr Lorton," she said. "How very early you are out to be
sure! I thought gentlemen were always lazy, but you're an exception to
the rule, it seems;" and her soft grey eyes sparkled.
"Well, I don't know that, Miss Clyde," I said. "I suppose I'm just as
lazy as the rest. I only came out to give my old doggy a walk and a
dip, as I generally do every morning before breakfast. If it were not
for him, I do not believe I would get up sooner than anybody else; but
he's such a pertinacious fellow that he won't be denied his walk, always
rousing me up at eight o'clock `sharp.' Would you believe it, he brings
my boots up to my door, and it is a trick he taught himself!"
"Dear old doggy," she said, stooping down and patting his head. "What a
nice sagacious fellow you are! Come here, sir, and give me your paw!
Now, shake hands. Doggy, do you like me?" Catch could tell a friend at
once; so looking up, he licked her hand, expressing, as intelligently as
possible, that he was pleased to make her acquaintance. "How I love
dogs!" she ejaculated, rising up again.
"Do you!" said I. "Ah, Miss Clyde! `Love me, love my dog.'"
"What nonsense, Mr Lorton!" she said, with a warm blush tinting her
cheek. "But, I declare you haven't wished me the compliments of the
season yet. How very ungallant you are! I will set you an example--a
merry Christmas, Mr Lorton!"
"A thousand to you, Miss Clyde; and each happier than the last!" I
said.
"Oh dear, dear!" she exclaimed in mimic dismay; "I am sure I would not
care about having so many as that! Fancy a thousand Christmases--why,
what an old, old woman I should be then!"
"And a very nice old woman, too," said I.
"Merci pour le compliment, Monsieur," she replied, making me an
elaborate curtsey and laughing merrily. "And what have you got there?"
she asked, pointing to a little bunch of violets that I was extracting
from my overcoat pocket, and which I had procured for her when Catch met
his friend the gardener's dog.
"I got them for you, Miss Clyde," said I, somewhat bashfully; "and--
and--"
"Oh, _thank_ you, Mr Lorton," she said, quite pleased. "I love violets
more than any other flower. You could not have given me a nicer
present. I was only wishing for some just now. But, I hear mamma
coming down stairs; so, as I've not made the tea yet, I must go in--
good-bye!"
"Good-bye," I echoed, clasping her tiny hand in mine. "Good-bye, and
many good wishes for the day, _my darling_!" I courageously added the
last two words, lowering my voice over them, as she gently closed the
door.
She was not offended, if she _had_ heard the term of endearment I used,
for she gave me another nice little bow and smile from the window.
Still I think she _did_ hear me. I fancied I saw a conscious look in
the dancing grey eyes, a blush yet lingering on her damask cheek.
I went home with joy in my heart--joy which fed upon itself and
increased each moment. Don't you remember what Herder says? Let but
the heart once awake, and wave follows wave of newborn feelings--
"So bald sich das Herz ergiesst,
Stromt Welle auf Welle!"
I only know that I was as happy as possible, and astonished everybody by
the breakfast I ate.
You fancy, perhaps, that I wasn't really in love, or I wouldn't probably
have been hungry? Nonsense! Let me tell you that happy lovers are
always hungry, and have great appetites. It is only your poor,
miserable, disappointed suitors, who are in a state of suspense, that go
about with a hang-dog look and cannot eat. I firmly believe that
Shakespeare intended to convey the idea that Valentine was mad, or he
would never have put into his mouth such ridiculous words as those, that
he could "break his fast, dine, sup, and sleep, upon the very naked name
of love!" If that gentleman of Verona had been sane knowing how his
passion was reciprocated and that his lady loved him in return, he would
have had just as good an appetite as I had that morning; when, joyous as
a bird, I was as hungry as a hunter.
As for dog Catch, you should have seen how he galloped into his oatmeal
porridge after his walk--how the oatmeal porridge galloped into him
would, however, be a more correct form of expression. You should have
only seen him, that's all!
Next came church; and, of all occasions when church-going strikes even
an uninterested spectator, generally lacking in religious zeal, with
feelings of unwonted emotion, commend me to Christmas day. Then, to
paraphrase the well-known lines of the poet, those in the habit of being
regularly present at worship "went the more;" while those go now "who
never went before." People make a practice of visiting church on that
day who seldom, if ever, attend a religious service at any other time,
taking the year all through. It is like the wedding feast to which the
lame, the halt, and the blind were invited. Every one goes then; every
class and clan is represented.
Saint Canon's was a sight. Its garland-twined oaken columns, its
wreath-hung galleries, its scroll-work in the chancel--where "Unto us a
son is born," and the message of glad tidings, which the shepherds of
Bethlehem first heard when they "watched their flocks by night," and saw
the star in the east, two thousand years ago, shone forth in blazonments
of red and purple and gold--all reminded the congregation of the
festival they had assembled to commemorate; the day of peace and good-
will to all, that had dawned for them once more, as I trust it will dawn
again and again for us yet on many more future anniversaries. The
place, too, was crammed, contrary to Lady Dasher's fears concerning the
spread of unbelief and the degeneracy of the present age. Everybody was
there that could go at all, for it was a year in which we had to be
specially mindful of mercies vouchsafed to us. Even old Shuffler, who
had not been seen inside a place of public worship before within the
memory of man, was not an absentee.
I was not thinking of him, however, nor of the display which the
decorations made, nor of the congregation--indeed, I hardly attended to
the service. All my thoughts were centred on Min.
A madonna-like face, a pair of honest, steadfast, speaking, grey eyes
were ever before me; although I could not actually see her, except when
we stood up during the service, according to the ordinances of the
rubric, as she sat a long way off. Notwithstanding my usual attachment
towards them, I felt inclined to quarrel with the high pews that hid her
from my sight; and, I'm afraid, despised Bishop Burnet for his
innovation. The vicar, they told me afterwards, preached a simple,
beautiful sermon, that struck home to the hearts of every one present;
but I heard none of it. My sermon was in my heart, and bore for its
text one little word of four letters. O Min, Min! you had a good deal
to answer for.
"Long was the good man's sermon,
Yet it seemed not so to me;
For he spoke of Ruth the beautiful,
And still I thought of thee.
"Long was the prayer he uttered,
Yet it seemed not so to me;
For in my heart I prayed with him,
And still I thought of thee!"
After service, of course everybody met everybody else, each of their own
respective little world, at the church door, exchanging those good
wishes and seasonable greetings proper to the day.
There was a grand throng without the porch. Horner was there. It would
have been nothing at all without him and his eye-glass. He did not
appear to bear me any hard feelings, I was glad to see, for my
unkindness of the morning. He nodded affably, and said "'do!" to me, in
his usual way, as if he had not met me before.
Min and her mother did not linger as did the other parishioners; so, I
had only an opportunity of a passing bow, without that other tender
little hand-clasp which I had hoped for. But she looked at me, and that
was something.
Lady Dasher, however, stopped for a minute or two; so did her daughters.
"Beautiful weather for Christmas, Lady Dasher," hazarded I. She
evidently did not agree with me, for she looked about her mournfully,
with a down-drawn visage, just as if we were all attending a funeral, of
which she was the chief mourner.
"Really, Mr Lorton, do you think so?" came her answer at length.
"Don't you find it very cold?"
"Dear me, ma! why you said last Christmas that it was too warm!" said
her daughter Bessie.
"Ah! Mr Lorton," continued her mother, not noticing her remark, "we
never have those good, old-fashioned Christmases that we had when my
poor dear papa was alive!"
"No, I suppose not," I answered; "people say that it is because of the
vast American forests being gradually cut down, admitting freer currents
of air all over the world; while others put the change down to the
influence of the Gulf Stream. Still, I dare say, it will all come right
again at some time or other."
"Ah, Mr Lorton," said Lady Dasher, "I'm afraid it will _never_ come
right again. You are too sanguine, like all young people."
"Oh, `never' is a long day," I said; "we should all be hopeful and
merry, I think, at least on this one day in the year."
"I could never be merry again, Mr Lorton," she said, with a prodigious
sigh, which seemed to come from the depths of her heart, "since poor
dear papa died;" and she then passed on mournfully homewards, with
Bessie and Seraphine in her wake. Their cheerful faces, as they nodded
back and smiled at Horner and myself, contrasted strongly with their
mother's lugubrious visage. I wonder if anybody ever saw her laugh?
I've got my doubts about it.
Then came out Miss Pimpernell, her kind old face beaming with smiles as
she bowed here and there, and gave a cordial greeting to us young
fellows, who still stood around the church porch. She did not forget
me, you may be certain. "God bless you, Frank, my boy!" she said, in
her affectionate, purring way; dismissing me home with a light heart to
eat the traditionary roast turkey and plum-pudding, at peace with all
mankind, and in love with all womankind for her sake.
What a happy, happy day it had been!
That night I passed and repassed Min's house a dozen times at least,
only that I might see her shadow on the blinds, weaving luxurious
castles in Spain the while. I would be a great general, a distinguished
orator, a famous statesman, a celebrated author! I would do some grand,
heroic action. I desired to be "somebody," something, only great and
glorious! And yet, as One above is my judge, I had not one selfish
craving, not a single purely-personal thought in connection with these
mad wishes. It was but for _her_ sake that I longed for honour and fame
and advancement. Only for her, only for her!
CHAPTER SIX.
"ECSTASY!"
"...From thy rose-red lips my name
Floweth; and then, as in a swoon,
With dinning sound my ears are rife,
My tremulous tongue faltereth,
I lose my colour, I lose my breath,
I drink the cup of a costly death,
Brimm'd with delirious draughts of warmest life!"
Some few days after Christmas, little Miss Pimpernell gave a small
evening party for the especial delectation of those who had so
meritoriously assisted in the decoration of the church.
Of course, it was not at all like the "barty" the celebrated Hans
Breitman "giv'd" to his friends for the imbibition of "lager beer" ad
libitum; but still, one may feel inclined to exclaim, in the exquisite
broken words of that worthy, "Where am dat barty now?" For, time has
worked its usual changes; and all of us have long since been divided,
separated, scattered, and dispersed to the four winds of heaven, so to
speak, to the severance of old ties, and all kindred associations.
I had not had the slightest inkling that the "little affair" was about
to "come off" beforehand. I had met Miss Pimpernell out the very
morning of the day on which it took place; yet--sly old lady that she
was--she hardly gave me a hint of her social intent.
She certainly said that she had a little surprise in store for me; but
when I pressed her to learn what that "something" was, she preserved a
provoking reticence, declining to enlighten me any further. "No,
Frank," she said in her cheery way, "it is of no use your trying to coax
me with your `dear Miss Pimpernell,' or think to flatter me into
divulging my news by false compliments paid to my shabby old bonnet!
No, you shall hear it all in good time, so don't be impatient. I won't
tell you another word now, my boy, there!" she added finally, trotting
off on her parochial rounds and leaving me in suspense until the
evening, to exercise my imagination regarding her contemplated
"surprise."
Then, however, I was let into the secret; and the party was all the more
pleasurable from coming quite unexpectedly. I always like doing things
on the spur of the moment, without premeditation. If you look out for
anything long beforehand, it is apt to pall on the palate when it
arrives within your reach. "Unlooked-for blessings" are generally twice
as grateful as those which you are led to expect--so, at least, I have
found them.
On my return home from a walk in the evening, I found a little note of
invitation awaiting me, in which Miss Pimpernell requested me to come
round to the vicarage precisely at eight, "dressed all in my best," like
the impassioned lover of "Sally in our Alley," as she "expected a few
friends." She added in a postscript, underlined with one of her
characteristic dashes, that _Miss Clyde_ would be there, if that would
be any further inducement for me.
Oh Miss Pimpernell, you machiavellian old lady! I would not have
thought you could have practised such great dissimulation. Would Min's
presence be any further inducement to me! Wouldn't it? Oh, dear no,
certainly not!
In ten minutes' time I was dressed en regle and at the vicarage.
It was quite a nice little party. Not one too many, and not a single
discordant element. Old ladies and gentlemen seemed to have been
rigidly tabooed, with the exception, naturally, of our host and hostess,
the vicar and his sister; for Lady Dasher, owing to some fortunate
conjuncture of circumstances, was unable to come: Miss Spight was busy
at home, entertaining an elderly relative who had suddenly thrown
herself on her hospitality; while Mr Mawley was at Oxford enjoying the
season with sundry dogmatic Fellows of his own calibre. Minus these
charmers, our gathering was pretty much what it had been down in the old
school-room at the decorations. There were the Dasher girls, two young
collegians from Cambridge--ex-pupils of the vicar--to entertain Bessie
and Seraphine, Lizzie Dangler, Horner with his inseparable eye-glass and
faultless toilet, Baby Blake for _his_ entertainment--Miss Pimpernell
was a wise caterer--Min, and myself.
Our hostess had so planned that we should all pair off, each lady having
her cavalier, as she said, in the good old-fashioned way. She planned
very ably, as we had one of the pleasantest evenings imaginable, without
any stiffness or formality or being forced to make a toil of enjoyment,
in the customary manner of most fashionable reunions: we were not
"fashionable," thank goodness. But we had "a good time" of it, as young
America says, all the same.
What did we do?
Well, then, there were none of those abominable "round games," which,
unless they descend to vulgar romping, are the dreariest attempts at
conviviality possible to conceive; none of those dreadful and much-to-
be-avoided exactions and remissions of "forfeits," that plunge everybody
into embarrassing situations, and destroy, instead of creating,
sociability; none of those stock--so-called--"drawing-room
entertainments;" in fact, which always result in hopeless boredom. But,
we had a little music and part-singing: a little lively, general chit-
chat, in which all could join and each take a share: a few anecdotes
well told--a complete success, to be brief, in making us all feel
perfectly natural and at ease, for we were allowed to do and say exactly
what we pleased in moderation.
Each of us was made to feel that his or her absence would have detracted
from the happiness of the rest; and _that_ is the true art of treating
one's guests--an art which both the vicar and Miss Pimpernell had
apparently studied to perfection, although it really proceeded from
their natural good-heartedness.
But, amongst our company I had almost forgotten to enumerate the name of
Monsieur Parole d'Honneur, one of the nicest of French emigres and a
dear friend of the vicar's; one known to most of us, also, for many
years.
Perhaps you may chance to remember the noise that the great Barnard
extradition case made in the newspapers--and, indeed, all over England
too, for that matter--in the year 1859?
You don't? Why, it nearly led to a war between France and Britain! Did
you never hear how the fiercely-moustachioed Gallic colonels swaggered
about the Boulogne cafes, loud in their denunciations of perfidious
Albion, while smoking their endless cigarettes and sipping their
poisonous absinthe; and how, but for the staunch fidelity of the ill-
fated Emperor Napoleon--since deserted by his quondam ally--and the
jaunty pluck of our then gallant premier, brave "old Pam"--whose loss we
have had ample reason, oftentimes of late, to deplore--there might have
been a sudden rupture of that "entente cordiale" between the two
nations, which was cemented in the Crimea, and expired but a couple of
years ago under the besieged walls of Paris?
Ah! that was a time when the whilom "Cupid's" boast, "Civis Anglicanus
sum," was not an empty claim, as it is in these days of poverty-stricken
"retrenchments," and senile forfeitures of all that made England great
and grand through five hundred years of history!
But the Barnard case--you must have heard of that, surely? It was just
about the period when the wonderful volunteer fever commenced to rage
with such intense earnestness over here; and when our "valuable
auxiliary forces"--as amateur military critics in the House are so fond
of repeating--were first instituted, in the fear of a second invasion of
this sacred realm of liberty. We did not then place much reliance on
the "streak of silver sea," when in the direct face of danger, as a
great "statesman" would have us do now that it no longer confronts us!
Ha, at last you recollect, eh? I need not prompt your memory any
further.
Bien. It was at this period that Monsieur Parole d'Honneur was advised
in high official circles that it would be for the benefit of his health
if he quitted French soil for awhile. He had been known to have once
been intimately associated with Mazzini, and that gentleman was supposed
to be implicated in the Orsini affair--when an attempt was made against
Napoleon's life in the Place d'Opera; so, as Parole d'Honneur had
likewise been heard to speak rather unguardedly at a political club of
patriots to which he belonged, the prefectorial mind "putting that and
that together," very reasonably presumed that our friend must have some
connection with the bomb conspirators. The consequences were, that
Parole d'Honneur was told to quit Paris instantly, and leave France
itself within four-and-twenty hours,--although he was innocent of the
slightest knowledge concerning the plot.
However, there was no help for it. Prefects are not in the habit of
discussing their suspicions with suspected persons; and thus he had to
bid adieu to his country in a hurry. He thereupon shook off its dust
from his papier-mache-soled boots, coming to England, in the manner of
his compatriots, to earn his livelihood as a teacher of languages.
Having the highest recommendations, he easily obtained as much
employment as he wanted, and devoted himself to giving conversational
lectures to a circle of collegiate establishments lying in different
parts of London, which he visited bi-weekly, or so, in turn. Amongst
these was one in our suburb; hence, first an acquaintance and then a
lasting friendship sprung up between him and the vicar, both taking to
each other immensely through their large-hearted philosophy; thus, too,
I also got acquainted with one of the brightest, cheeriest, kindest
Gauls of many that I have had the happiness of knowing.
At the time of which I write, Parole d'Honneur was a very happy emigre,
despite his enforced exile in the land of fogs. Indeed, he was an exile
no longer in the strict sense of the word, as he had received permission
to go back to France whenever he pleased; a permission of which he had
already availed himself, having paid a visit, in company with me, to
Paris, the previous month, at the time when I had been so miserable and
despondent about not meeting Min again. However, he had become so fond
of England and things English, from his long enforced residence here,
that he avowed his determination of living and dying amongst us--that
is, unless his country and "the cause" should have need of his services.
On the evening of Miss Pimpernell's little party, this patriotic
gentleman, in the presence of ladies, whom he reverenced with a knight-
errant's devotion and homage, was the life of our circle. He carried an
aroma of fun and light-heartedness about him that was simply contagious.
He sang Beranger's ditties with a verve and elan that brought back
bonny Paris and student days to those of us who were acquainted with
them. One moment he played exquisite bits from Mozart on his violin, to
the accompaniment of the vicar's violoncello, that were most entrancing;
the next, scraped away at some provoking tarantella that almost set the
whole of us dancing, in defiance of the proprieties generally observed
at the vicarage.
We were asking each other riddles and conundrums. Monsieur Parole
suddenly bethought him of one. "Ah, ha!" he said, "I heard one good
reedel ze ozer day. A leetle mees at one of my academies told it me.
Young ladies, why is ze old gentlemans, le diable, zat is--"
"O-oh! Monsieur Parole!" ejaculated Miss Pimpernell.
"Your pardon, Mees Peemple," said Monsieur Parole--he never could give
her the additional syllable to her name--"Your pardon, Mees Peemple; but
we wiz call hims somesing else. Why is--ah, ha! I have got hims. Why
is Lucifers like, when riding sur un souris, on a mouse, like the very
same tings? You gives him up? Ah, ha! I t'ought you would never guess
him!" he continued, on our professing our ignorance of the solution.
"Because he is synonime!--vat you calls sin-on-a-mouse! Ha, ha, ha!"
and he burst into a chuckle of his merry laughter.
This reminded Horner of one. "Bai-ey Je-ove!" he said, after a long
pause. "I--ah, came akwass a vewy good one the othah day--ah. A blind
beggah had a bwoth-ah, and the bwoth-ah died; now, what welation was--
ah, the blind beggah to the--ah, dead beggah?"
"His sister, of course," said Bessie Dasher, promptly.
"Weally," said Horner, who usually put on most of his _w_ and _r_ ish
airs when in the presence of ladies in evening costume: in the day he
sometimes spoke more plainly. "Weally, how clevah you ah! I asshaw
you, I didn't gwess it for neawy a week--ah!"
"I can quite believe _that_!" said Seraphine, wickedly.
"Did you ever hear any of Praed's charades?" I asked Min.
"No," she said. "Do you recollect some?"
"Ah," put in the vicar, "Praed was a clever fellow; and a true poet,
too."
"Indeed?" said Min. "I have heard his name, but I've never seen
anything that he wrote. Do you recollect any of his charades, Mr
Lorton?" she asked again, turning to me.
"I think I remember one," I said, repeating those three spirited verses
which are well-known, beginning "Come from my First, ay, come!"
"How beautiful the lines are!" said Min; "but it seems a pity that they
should be thrown away on a mere charade."
"That was exactly Praed's way," said the vicar. "I remember well, when
I was a young man at college, what a stir his name made, and what great
things were predicted of him, that he never lived to realise."
"He died young, did he not?" asked Min.
"Yes," said the vicar, "in his thirty-second year. If he had lived, he
would probably have been one of the foremost men in England to-day."
"`Whom the gods love, die young,'" quoted I grandiloquently, like
Mawley.
"True," said the vicar. "There is more philosophy in that, than in most
of those old Pagan beliefs: there is a glimmering of Christianity about
the saying."
"I wonder," said Miss Pimpernell, "whether there is any connection
between it and the text, `Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth'?"
"I can't say, my dear," said the vicar, "if you are right in this
instance; but there is often a great similarity between different parts
of the Bible and the utterances of profane writers."
"Have you ever noticed, sir," said Min, "how David says in the Psalms
that `all the foundations of the world are out of course;' while
Shakespeare makes Hamlet observe that `the world is out of joint'?"
"Yes," said the vicar, "and there are many other parallels that could be
drawn from Shakespeare. He was frequently indebted to the inspired
volume for his reflections; whether wittingly or unknowingly, I cannot
say."
"I think," said I, "that Douglas Jerrold's celebrated bon mot about
Australia must be put down to the same source. He said, if you
remember, speaking of the prolific nature of the soil of the new
continent, `Tickle her with a hoe, and she will laugh with a harvest;'
and in the Psalms we have the verse, `The valleys also shall stand so
thick with corn, that they shall laugh and sing.'"
"It is debatable," said the vicar, "whether we should ascribe these
striking resemblances to unconscious plagiarism or to similarity of
thought."
"We will have to agree with Solomon," said I, "that there is nothing new
under the sun!"
"True enough, Frank," said the vicar. "From the explorations at Nineveh
and at Pompeii, we have already learnt that the ancients well knew of
what we in our pride long ascribed to modern inquiry and research."
Miss Pimpernell here calling upon her brother and Monsieur Parole for
some more of their concerted music, they sat down to a sonata of
Beethoven. The remainder of us broke up into little coteries; Min and I
having a long quiet talk, under cover of the deep tones of the vicar's
violoncello, in a corner by the piano, where we entrenched ourselves for
some time undisturbed.
What did we say?
I'm sure I can't tell you. Probably we talked about the weather and the
crops; the prospects of the coming season; the expected new tenor at the
opera, who was said to rival Orpheus and put Mario into the shade; or,
peradventure, we discussed political economy, grumbling over the high
price of meat and the general expenses of housekeeping! But, please put
yourself in our place, and you will be able, I have no doubt, to imagine
all we could possibly have found to chat about, much better, probably,
than I can describe it. I will merely say for your guidance, without
entering into details, that it was happiness, rapture to me, to be only
beside her--will that enlighten you at all?
Later on, came supper.
After that we had some part-singing of good old glees, like "The Chough
and Crow," "Here in cool Grot," and the ever-beautiful "Dawn of Day."
We then separated, after the pleasantest of evenings, when it was close
on midnight:--Miss Pimpernell's party had been emphatically a social
success.
Of course I walked home with Min. I had been so much with her of late,
that I somehow or other began to look upon her as my own property; and
was jealous of the interference of anyone else. You should have seen
how I glared at Horner when he suggested, good-naturedly enough, that
Min should go round, by the way that the Dasher girls and the others
went, under his escort! How overjoyed I was when she politely declined
the offer, saying that, as her mamma was sitting up for her, she must
hurry home by the shortest way!
She looked like a little fairy, tripping along beside me through the
fresh-looking frozen snow, her dark dress and scarlet petticoat showing
out in strong relief against the glittering white of the roadway. The
moon was shining brightly, so that it was as light as day; and I could
see her face distinctly as she looked up into mine every now and then to
answer some remark. Her honest, lustrous, grey eyes sparkled with fun,
while a little ripple of silvery laughter came occasionally from the
rosebud-parted coral lips! We chatted merrily, exchanging notes
touching the enjoyments of the evening.
We gradually approached her door. I was telling her that, instead of
mere days, I seemed to have known her for years and could not affect to
treat her as a stranger.
She said that she looked upon me almost as an old friend already.
I asked her if she would let me abandon the formal appellation of "Miss
Clyde," and call her "Min?"
She said, "Yes."
I asked her then, ere the door opened, on wishing her "good-bye," with a
lingering hand-clasp, whether she would not call me by my Christian
name, too?
She gently whispered, "Frank"--so softly, so faintly, that the night-
wind, sighing by, could not catch the accents and bear the sound to
alien ears; but _I_ heard it, and my heart throbbed in a delirious
tempest of happiness; I lost my senses almost: my head swam in a
whirlwind of tumultuous joy: I was intoxicated with ecstasy!
"Good-night, Frank!" I heard her dear, sweet voice whispering, like
strains of music in my heart, as I went homewards. I seemed to feel her
warm violet breath still on my cheek. I could fancy I yet gazed into
the star-depths of her soul-speaking, deep, grey eyes.
"Good-night, Frank!" The words sang in my ears all night, and I slept
in fairyland.
CHAPTER SEVEN.
DOUBT.
"Thro' light and shadow thou dost range,
Sudden glances sweet and strange,
Delicious spites and darling angers,
And airy forms of flitting change."
I had not yet had an opportunity of being introduced to Min's mother.
'Pon my word, you exclaim, this looks very serious!
I beg to differ from you. We had been brought together legitimately
enough, down at the church-decoration-gathering in the school-room: we
had been regularly introduced by no less a clerical authority than
little Miss Pimpernell, the vicar's sister: we had then and there
associated under the safest chaperonage--good heavens! would not Miss
Spight's jealous green eyes, that were certain to pick out the tiniest
blot in her fellow man or woman, and Lady Dasher's stately, albeit
melancholy presence, satisfy you? Thus, the "convenances," that horrid
Anglo-French pseudonym, of the still more horrible bugbear "society,"
had no cause to consider themselves neglected and find an excuse for
taking umbrage. From this point, our acquaintanceship naturally and
gradually ripened. We got intimate: it was our fate, I suppose--what
more or less would you have expected?
Besides, although, mind you, I do not consider myself in any way bound
to allay your curiosity and satisfy your compunctious scruples, you
should remember that all of us young parishioners of Saint Canon's--
Horner, Baby Blake, Lizzie Dangler and the rest--had known each other
almost from the distant days of childhood; and, consequently, were in
the habit of _tutoyer_-ing one another, using our respective "given"
names in familiar conversation. The habit may be a bad one, it is true,
but you cannot prevent it sometimes. There is no practice so capable of
imitation as that of calling one another by the Christian name. It is
just like that of the monkeys all cleaning their teeth along the banks
of the Amazon with pieces of stick, because they saw Professor Agassiz
setting them an example one fine morning, when engaged on his toilet in
company with a tooth-brush. You can't help yourself: you must bow to
the custom and follow suit.
In this instance, there was Miss Pimpernell, always addressing _her_ as
"Min," and _me_ as "Frank." The Dasher girls and others soon learnt to
do the same. What more likely than that we ourselves should fall into a
similar friendly system? It was only reasonable; and a result which
even a less alert person than yourself would have looked for. At all
events, neither of us meant any harm by it; and I am willing to "take my
affidavit" to that effect any day you please to name, in any Court of
Justice you may appoint.
Notwithstanding the intimate footing that now existed between Min and
myself, the fact of my non-acquaintance with her mother, annoyed me
extremely. You need not flatter yourself, however. It was not in the
least on account of any conscientious qualms, like yours.
I wished to know her personally from a totally different motive; and
yet, in spite of all attempts and stratagems on my part, I never could
get a chance of meeting her when I was in the company of some kind
friend to act as go-between and soothe the exigencies of introduction;
although, when alone I would encounter her frequently. This was very
vexing--especially so after a while; and I'll tell you how it was.
As the days flew by, and the new year, born in a moment, grew with giant
strides in that hasty growth common to all new years--they have a habit
of shooting ahead the first few months of their existence, as if they
desired to "force the pace," and make all the "running" they can--my
facilities for intercourse with Min became "small by degrees and
beautifully less." There you have the cause of my annoyance at once.
I could see her at the window, certainly. I also frequently passed her
mother and herself in the street, or on The Terrace, or along the
Prebend's Walk, when I was taking an airing abroad with dog Catch at my
heels; yet, I don't know how it was, but I invariably chanced to be on
the opposite side of the street, or road, or terrace, whenever I thus
passed them. I never failed to receive the timid little bow and smile
from Min, with a rosy heightening of her complexion the while--to which
I had now got so accustomed that, should I have been debarred from their
receipt, I would have considered myself very hardly used and felt a
morbid inclination to go mad and drown myself. But, Min's bow was
hardly sufficient to introduce me to her mother, even if people could be
introduced from opposite sides of roads. Thus it was that I remained a
stranger to Mrs Clyde, and did not have a chance of meeting her
daughter and talking to her, as I might have done if I could but have
visited her at home.
I never was able to have a word with her now, never could hear her
darling voice repeat my name in those soft accents I loved so well. It
was very hard--very hard, indeed! You see, I had ample reasons, beyond
the requirements of mere social etiquette, for wishing to know Mrs
Clyde.
Our suburb, you must know, was an extremely quiet place--"remote,
unfriended, solitary, slow."
Although everybody knew everybody, who happened to be anybody at all,
there was not much of current sociability and party giving. We were not
sociable. On the contrary, we were a very humdrum lot; rising early and
going to town to our business and daily toil--such of us as had any sort
of business to attend to--and coming back at a fixed regular hour. We
were in the habit of having our respective dinners and teas, and,
mayhap, suppers, at certain appointed times and seasons--also duly
regulated--and subsequently going to bed, to recruit for the same
routine on the morrow, without any excitements, or renovation and
destruction of tissue worth speaking of.
A "tea-party" was quite a sensation in the parish of Saint Canon's--
equivalent to one of the queen's garden fetes. Beyond school treats and
working parties, to which latter only the clergy and Lady Dorcases were
admitted, and the anniversary of Christmas, when we sometimes _did_
indulge a little in wholesome but subdued gaiety, we went on from year's
beginning to year's end without balls, or dinners, or dances, or any of
those resources which fashionable people have for killing time and
keeping up acquaintanceship.
We were not "high-toned" people; quite the reverse, in fact, as, I
believe, I have previously described. We only "dropped in" of an
evening to see friends, and spend a quiet hour or two over bezique and
music. On these occasions, a carpet cotillon or quadrille has been
sometimes indulged in; but it was the exception and not the rule. We
were generally satisfied with much milder pastime; our visits rarely
exceeding the interval between tea and "supper" time, when we partook of
a friendly, though seedy, abernethy and glass of wine or beer; and then
went home virtuously to bed.
Our society being thus constituted, it became a matter almost of
impossibility to meet any one particular person frequently, excepting
out in the street, unless you had the entree of their house. Hence, I
never could chat with Min, as I had done at the decorations; and,
naturally, I felt very much aggrieved thereanent.
What made it additionally provoking to me was, that Horner had contrived
to get introduced to Mrs Clyde almost as soon as she had settled in the
place, before I had returned from Paris; and there was Mr Mawley the
curate, too, exercising the privilege of his cloth by continually
frequenting her house. He drove me to desperation by going in and out,
apparently just as the fancy suited him, as if he were a tame cat about
the place.
His conduct was perfectly odious--that is, to any right-thinking person.
Curates and cousins are, I consider, two of the greatest obstacles to an
innocent layman's intimacy with the diviner portion of creation; and, in
these days of reform and disestablishment, of hereditary and other
conservative grievances, something ought to be done to abolish the
persons in question, or at least handicap them so that other deserving
young men might have a fair chance in the race for beauty's smile and
Hymen's chain. They have an enormous advantage, at present, over
outside men-folk. Girls like to have a sort of good-natured lap-dog
about them, to play with occasionally and run their errands, "do this"
and "that" for the asking--like Cornelius the centurion's obedient
servant--and make himself generally useful, without looking for any
ulterior reward on account of services rendered. You see, cousins and
curates are regarded as "harmless"--"detrimentals with the chill off,"
so to speak. His scrap of relationship throws a glimmer of possession
around the one, endowing with inherent right every act of his ministry;
while his "cloth" invests the other with a halo of sanctity and Platonic
freedom that disarms gossip of the usual clothes-peg whereon it hangs
its scandal. "Cousin Tom"--by-the-way, did you ever read Mackworth
Praed's lines on the same theme?--is allowed opportunities for, and
latitude in, flirtation, which poor Corydon, not a cousin never so
remote, may sigh in vain for; and, who would be so despicable as to
impute secular motives to the Reverend Hobplush's tender ministrations
towards those sweet young "sisters," who dote on his sucking sermons and
work him carpet slippers and text-markers without limit? Certainly, not
I.
I do not mean to say, however, that curates and cousins have it all
their own way always. There's a sweet little cupid who "sits up aloft,"
like Jack's guardian angel, to watch o'er the loves of poor laymen.
Still, it is very galling, to one of an ardent temperament especially,
to mark the anxious solicitude with which "Cousin Tom" may hang over the
divine creature--whom you can only look upon from afar as some distant
star--without attracting any observations anent his "attentions." The
confounded airs of possession he gives himself, while you are
languishing "out in the cold," in the expressive vernacular, are
frightful to contemplate. As for curate Hobplush, he may drop in
whenever he pleases, being treated like one of the family circle; while
you, miserable creature, can only call at stated intervals, always
dreading the horrid possibility of out-staying your welcome, and
receiving the metaphorical "cold shoulder"--though love may prompt you
to the sacrifice.
Such was my position now.
There was Mr Mawley visiting at Mrs Clyde's house some half-a-dozen
times a week, for all I knew to the contrary--and of course I imagined
the worst--and having endless chances and opportunities of conversing
with my darling, in the morning, at noontide, and at night; while poor,
wretched _I_ had to content myself with a passing bow and smile when we
chanced to meet abroad, or I should happen to see her dainty figure at
the window as I promenaded past her house.
You say I ought to have considered myself lucky to get even that slight
modicum of notice?
But I did _not_ so consider myself. I was not by any means contented.
Where did you ever find a lover worth his salt who was?
To tell the truth, I was horribly jealous of Mawley. He was not at all
a bad-looking fellow; and, with all his dogmatic tone and love of
argument, had a wonderfully taking way with ladies. Besides, his
connection with the Church gave him a considerable pull over me--girls
are so impressionable, as a rule, with regard to nice young curates,
that they generally have the pick of the parish! Really, all things
considered, I'm very much afraid that I had not that kind Christian
feeling and charity in my heart towards Mawley that the vicar had
enjoined in his Christmas sermon. I did not regard the curate even with
that reverence which his Oxford waistcoat should have inspired. I
believe that at that particular time I looked upon him with somewhat of
the same feeling with which the homicidal Cain regarded his brother Abel
about the sacrificing business.
Then, there was Horner, too, who was generally looked upon as an
"eligible" person, having a respectable position of his own in addition
to considerable expectations from his rich uncle, as I told you before.
I could see that Mrs Clyde encouraged him. He was always going there,
and frequently walking out with them also. I saw him, and it made my
heart bitter. One evening, I met him in full costume, with an opera-
glass slung round his shoulders, just before he reached their door. He
told me that Mrs Clyde had asked him to accompany her daughter and
herself to Covent Garden and share their box. They would have waited a
considerable time, I thought, before they would have been invited to
share _his_! I watched them drive off, and I went home mad. It was
getting too grievous for mortal to bear.
The house felt suffocating to me that evening. I could not stop in. I
determined to go and call on my old friend Miss Pimpernell, and see what
she could do to cheer me up.
"My dear boy," she said, as I entered the parlour, where she sat darning
the vicar's socks by the light of a moderator lamp, which stood on a
little table close beside her. "My dear boy, what is the matter with
you? You look quite haggard, and like a wild man from the woods! Have
you had your tea yet? I can ring for some in a moment."
"No, pray don't, thank you," I answered. "Miss Pimpernell," I
continued, in a determined voice, "I have had tea enough to-night to
last me for a twelvemonth! I can't bear this any longer. You must
introduce me to Mrs Clyde. I have never been able as yet to make her
acquaintance, and I want to go to her house as Horner does, and that
fellow Mawley."
"Hush, my dear boy!" she said, in her soothing way, as if she were
stroking me down the back like she stroked her tabby Tom--one of the
mousiest and most petted of cats. "You should not speak so of a
clergyman, my dear Frank. Think what the vicar would say if he heard
you!"
"Oh, never mind Mr Mawley," I said, somewhat petulantly; "I want to
know Mrs Clyde."
"Ah! that's what's the matter, is it, Frank? Then why did you not come
to old Sally before?"
"Well, Miss Pimpernell," I replied, "I never thought of you until to-
night."
"Never thought of me! You _are_ ungallant, Master Frank! But think of
me next time, my dear boy, whenever you find yourself in a difficulty;
and if Sally Pimpernell can help you out of it, she will, you may
depend!"
"Oh, thank you, dear Miss Pimpernell! And when will you introduce me to
Mrs Clyde?" I asked, thinking it best to "strike the iron" whilst it
was "hot."
"Come round to-morrow afternoon, Frank," she replied. "She is going to
be here by appointment, to see me about some charity in which she is
interested; and I'll try and manage it for you then."
"I'll be here, Miss Pimpernell, without fail," I said. "I can never be
sufficiently obliged to you, if you do it."
"All right, my boy," she said. "I'm sure I shall be very glad to help
you in such a trifling matter. But I do not want any of your soft
speeches, Frank! Keep them for somebody else who will appreciate them
better;" and she laughed her cheery, merry laugh, wishing me good-night
and sending me home much easier in my mind and happier than I had been
for many days past.
On the following afternoon I was introduced, as my old friend had
promised; and you may be certain that I tried to make myself as
agreeable as I could be to Min's mother. I think I succeeded, too; for,
when I took my leave early, in order to allow Miss Pimpernell and her
visitor an opportunity of discussing the best way of relieving the
parish poor, Mrs Clyde gave me an invitation.
"Mr Lorton," said she, "I should be glad if you would come round and
see us on Wednesday evening--I think you know our address? My daughter
is going to have a few friends in for a little music; and we shall both
be happy if you will join us. Miss Pimpernell tells me you are very
musical."
"With great pleasure," I answered, in society's stock phraseology. With
the "greatest" pleasure, I might have said, as I could almost have
jumped for joy. Just fancy! all that I had longed for was accorded in a
moment. My good fairy must undoubtedly have been hovering about the
vicarage premises that day; and I strongly suspect my good fairy in this
instance, as was the case also in many other circumstances of my life,
being none other than my very unfairylike old friend, little Miss
Pimpernell, the vicar's kind-hearted sister.
Did I not look forward to Wednesday evening? Did I not, when the time
for me to dress at last came round after an excruciatingly long
interval, bestow the most elaborate and unheard-of pains on my toilet,
almost rivalling Horner's generally unimpeachable "get up"? Did I not
proceed in the utmost joy and gladness towards the habitation of my
darling?
I should rather think I did!
And yet, when I crossed the threshold of Miss Clyde's house, I was
seized with a sudden vague impression of uneasiness. I felt a, to me,
singular sensation of nervousness, shyness, "mauvais honte"--just as if
a cold key had been put down my back--for which I was at a loss to
account. Those who know me say that bashfulness is one of the least of
my virtues; and, I do not think that I am constitutionally timid--so why
this feeling? Was it not a foreboding of evil? I believe it was, for
everything went wrong with me that night, instead of my having a surfeit
of pleasure, as I had sanguinely expected.
"Hope told a flattering tale." My good fairy deceived me. My
unpropitious star was again in the ascendant.
In fact, my bad genius reigned supreme, in spite of such counteracting
influences as my being at last admitted to Min's home and permitted to
watch her gliding movements about the room, hear her liquid voice, catch
the bright looks from her glancing grey eyes, speak to her, smile with
her, adore her.
Yes, in spite of all this, my bad influence reigned supreme; and, I'm
afraid, something wrong must have been done at my baptism to disgust my
better genii.
In the first place, I arrived too soon, which was a calamity in itself.
There is always pardon for one who goes late to an evening party--nay,
it often enhances his reputation. Absolution may even be extended to
the calculating individual who ravenously times his arrival by the
supper hour; but, for a simple-minded person, unaccustomed to the usages
of polite society, to believe in the invariability of fixed appointments
and, taking an invitation au pied de la lettre, make his appearance a
full hour before any other guest would dare to "turn up," from the fear
of being thought unfashionable, is simply monstrous! His behaviour is
perfectly inexcusable; and, as a punishment, he should in future be
compelled for a certain time to dine at our Saxon forefathers' early
hour, and go to bed at the sound of the curfew bell instituted by their
Norman conquerors--that is how I would teach him manners!
I committed this grievous fault on the present occasion. I had been so
anxious to get there in good time and not miss a minute of Min's
charming company, that, like our friend Paddy who ate his breakfast over
night in order to save time in the morning, I overdid it, arriving there
too early. I saw this at once from Mrs Clyde's face when I was
announced, the unhappy premier of all the coming guests.
Perhaps it was only my fancy, as I'm extremely sensitive on such points,
for she received me courteously enough, pressing the welcoming cup of
coffee and hospitable muffin in an adjoining ante-room on my notice;
but, I thought I could perceive, below the veneer of social civility, a
sort of "how-tiresome-of-you-to-come-before-anybody-else" look in her
eyes, which made me extremely small in my own estimation.
It was a horrible interval waiting for the other guests to come and
support me. I made a vow there and then that I would never again
present myself wherever I might be invited out until a full hour beyond
the specified time--and I've generally kept it, too!
Min did not treat me cavalierly, however, notwithstanding that I had
arrived in advance of expectation. _She_ was all kindness and grace,
endeavouring to make the "mauvais quart d'heure" of my solitary
guesthood pass away as little uncomfortably to me as possible.
She asked me to come and see her flowers in the bay window of the
drawing-room, which she had fitted up as a tiny conservatory; while her
mother sat down to the piano and played dreamy music in a desultory
fashion. I like dreamy music, although it always makes me melancholy--
indeed, all music affects me the same way, in spite of my not being by
any means what you would call a sad person. On the contrary, I am
supposed to be one of the most light-hearted fellows imaginable, and,
certainly, laugh more than I ever cry. However, mirth and sadness are
closer allies than people generally suspect. All emotion proceeds, more
or less, from hysteria.
While Mrs Clyde was playing, Min and I got talking. She thanked me for
coming early; and upbraided the absent guests for thinking it
fashionable to come later than bidden.
We discussed the rival merits of a scarlet japonica and a double
fuchsia, giving the palm of merit to the former, though the latter had
some wondrous lobes; and I was also asked my opinion whether her
favourite maidenhair fern would survive a sudden and unaccountable
blight which had fallen upon it a few days before.
She then showed me the identical violets I had given her that Christmas
morning, now so long passed by: she had tipped the stalks with sealing
wax and preserved them in cotton wool, so that they looked as fresh as
when first gathered.
"There!" she said, with an air of triumph. "There, Mr Lorton! I have
kept them ever since."
"Mr Lorton!" I repeated, "who is he? I don't know him."
"Well, `Frank,' then--will that please you better, you tiresome thing?"
"You know you promised," I said, apologetically.
"Did I?" she asked, with charming naivete.
"Why, have you forgotten that night already?" I said, in a melancholy
tone.
"Don't be so lugubrious," she said. "You have to amuse me. You mustn't
remember all my promises."
"Are they so unsubstantial?" I asked.
"No, they're not, sir!" she said, stamping her foot in affected anger.
"But what do you say to my keeping your violets so long, Frank?"
"What do I say?" I repeated after her, looking my delight into her
eyes; when, a frantic chord, struck deep down in the bass by Mrs Clyde,
marking the finish of some piece of Wagner's, recalled us both to every-
day life.
As nobody else had yet arrived, Min challenged me to a game of chess.
I allowed her to win the first game easily.
She pouted, saying that she supposed I thought it below my dignity to
put forth my best energies in playing against a lady!
Thereupon, I _did_ exert myself; but, she was just as provokingly
dissatisfied.
I took her queen. She protested it was unfair.
I offered to restore it to her; she would not have it at any price;--she
wished me to play the game, she said, just as if I were playing with a
man.
I checkmated her. She got up in a pet, saying that chess was a nasty,
stupid, tiresome thing, and that she would not play it any longer.
O, the contrariness of feminine nature!
Other people now began to drop in; and it was _my_ turn to get put out.
I heard it was Min's birthday, which I had not known before. I saw that
they remembered it; while, I, had not brought her even a paltry flower!
Everybody was wishing her "many happy returns of the day." I had not
done so; neither had I any opportunity of atoning for my neglect, as she
was too busy receiving the new comers; but, indeed, I would have been
too proud to excuse myself after witnessing Mr Mawley's "effusion."
He seemed to me to be guilty of unpardonable effrontery in holding Min's
hand such an unconscionably long time in his, when presenting a
miserable shop-bouquet; and, as for the lackadaisical airs of that
insufferable donkey, Horner--I can find no words adequate wherewith to
express what I thought; he was positively sickening!
I did not have another chance of speaking to Min either; that is, unless
I chose to bawl what I had to say across a crowded room; and, I need
hardly say, I did not exactly care about that!
She appeared to me to be very inconsistent, too.
She seemed really much more interested in Mawley's conversation than _I_
thought any reasonable person could be; while _he_ was grinning and
carrying on at a rate, which, if I had been Mrs Clyde, I would not have
allowed for a moment.
O, the equilibriant temperament of the "superior" sex!
Min teased me yet further.
She sang every song that Mawley and Horner asked her for, playing the
accompaniments for the latter when he favoured the company with his idea
of ballad vocalisation.
Horner thought he possessed a fine tenor voice: I didn't think so,
especially on this evening!
But, no matter what these two asked her to do, she did. If _I_,
however, requested any particular song, she said she did not believe she
could manage it; her voice could not compass it; she had lent it out;
or, she hadn't got it!
Was it not enough to provoke one? Wouldn't you have been affected by
it?
In addition to Horner and Mawley, there was also an odious cousin of
hers, called "Jack," or "Tom," or "Ned," or some other abominably
familiar abbreviation, who hung over the piano stool, and said "Min, do
this," and "Min, do that," in a way that drove me to frenzy.
I hate cousins! I don't see the necessity for them. I'm sure people
can get along very well without their existence. I would do away with
them to-morrow by act of Parliament, if I only had the power.
When everybody else who had a voice at all had exercised their vocal
powers, Mrs Clyde at last asked me to sing.
Instead of declining, as I would have done at any other time, on account
of her slight, I bowed my acquiescence and went to the piano.
To tell you the truth, I was glad of the opportunity afforded me for
carrying out a petty piece of revenge against Min, of which I had
suddenly bethought me.
I had composed a little song, you must know, that I believed highly
applicable to her at the moment, although when I had written it she was
no more in my mind than Adam or Eve, or both!
I sang it, looking into her face the while, as she stood by the
instrument; and these were the words. I gave them expression enough,
you may be sure.
"My lady's eyes are soft and blue, deep-changing as the
iris hue;
_But, eyes deceive
Hearts `worn on sleeve,'
And make us oft their power rue_!
"Her little mouth--a `sunny south'--wafts perfumed
kisses to the wind;
_But, winds blow cold,
And kiss of old,
A trait'rous symbol was, I find_!
"For pearly teeth and rosebud lips, whose honied wealth
the zephyr sips,
_But bait the lair
Where fickle fair,
Like Scylla, wreck men's stately ships_--
"And witching eyes and plaintive sighs, and looks of love
and tender words--
Love's tricking arts -
_Are poison'd darts,
More awesome far than pendant swords_!"
"Thank you," said Mrs Clyde; "it is very pretty. Your own, I suppose?"
"Yes," I said. I did not feel disposed to be more communicative.
"What do you call it?" asked Min, carelessly.
"`Per Contra,'" I answered. "Don't you think it a suitable title?"
"Yes, _I understand_" she said. "Thank you, _Mr Lorton_!"
She spoke, with marked emphasis.
A little time afterwards, when I was sitting moodily in a corner, with a
book before me which I was supposed to be looking at, but whose bare
title escapes my recollection, Min came to my side; and, she began
overhauling some volumes of music that were piled up in a heap on the
floor.
"Mr Lorton," she said, hesitatingly.
That "Mr Lorton" set my teeth on edge.
I made no reply.
"Frank!"
"Yes," I said, testily.
I felt very angry with her for her attentions to Horner and Mawley, and,
as I thought, neglect of me; so, I wished to let her know it.
"Frank," she repeated, "didn't you mean that song at me?"
"Yes, I did," I replied, very grumpily.
"Foolish fellow!" she said; "what a very bad opinion you must have of
me, although I did not know my eyes were blue before! You said the
other night they were grey," and she smiled bewitchingly. But, I
wouldn't be coaxed into good humour.
"Ce m'est egal," I answered coldly, "whatever they are."
"You are very cross!" she said pettishly; "I will go and talk to Mr
Mawley, until you get into a better mood, sir, and are more amiable."
"I'm sure," said I, loftily, "that I would not be the means of depriving
you of his valuable and entertaining society."
Min laughed provokingly. "At all events," she said, "he is not cross
with me about nothing; and _some_ people might learn better manners from
him, Mr Lorton!"
"Pray do not let me detain you from such a charming companion, Miss
Clyde," I said, with distant politeness.
"Even poor Mr Horner can be agreeable and amusing, and _you_ won't even
try to be. I will go to him," she continued, still striving to get me
to be more sociable; but I was obstinate and ill-tempered.
An angel would not have pacified me. How could I have been so rude to
her?
I was a brute.
"Ah," I exclaimed, "_his_ conversation is truly intellectual!"
She was quite vexed now.
"You are very unkind," she said. "You speak ill-naturedly of everybody,
and are cross with me on my birthday! I won't speak to you, Frank,
again this evening; there, see if I do!" and she turned away from me
with a tremble in her voice, and an indignant look in the, now,
flashing, grey eyes.
She kept her promise.
Much as I tried, when my ill-temper had subsided, to get speech with
her, I was not allowed a word. Even when leaving the house, I only
received a bow. She would not shake hands, to show that I was forgiven.
I had stopped to the very last in order to sit out Horner. _He_ would
not budge first, and _I_ would not budge first; so now we started off
together, our homeward routes being identical.
You may imagine that I felt very amicably disposed towards him. I was
ripe for a quarrel, or at least a separation; and Horner soon gave me an
opening.
He began to praise Min's looks and voice, and the manner in which she
had sung the songs _he_ had asked her for, including the one _he_ had
given her that evening.
Really, the cool impudence of Horner was something astounding! What
right had he to criticise her? He spoke just as if she belonged to him,
I assure you!
This was too much, after what I had already gone through.
"Which way are you going?" I asked him suddenly.
"Gaw-ing?" he said, in a surprised tone. "Why, stwaight on, of cawse--
stwaight on!"
"Then, I'm going round _here_!" I said, wheeling off abruptly at a
right angle from the road we had been pursuing, and going out of my way
in order to get rid of him.
Flesh and blood could no longer stand his unmeaning, yet gibing
platitudes.
"Bai-ey Je-ove!" he exclaimed. "But, stawp, my deah fellah. Lorton, I
asshaw you I only meant to say--ah--that Miss Clyde sang my songs most
divinely--ah--and that she's--ah--a vewy nice gahl--ah!"
Confound him!
What business had he to say or think anything of the sort?
I could faintly hear his voice exclaim "Bai-ey Je-ove!" in the distance,
after some seconds' interval, during which we had become widely
separated.
I was as thoroughly out of temper as I could possibly be.
I was angry with everybody in the world, Min not excepted, and with the
world itself; but, at myself, more than all.
CHAPTER EIGHT.
ONLY ABOUT A LITTLE BIRD.
Oh! let them ne'er, with artificial note,
To please a tyrant, strain their little bill;
But sing what heaven inspires, and wander
where they will!
I was ten times angrier with myself when I got home.
What a fool I had been--what an idiot--to have thrown away my chances as
I had done! I had wished for "the roc's egg" to complete my happiness;
and I had obtained it with a vengeance.
My roc's egg had been the "open sesame" to Mrs Clyde's castle. I had
sighed for it, striven for it, gained it at last; and, a fine mess I had
made of it, all things considered!
What must she think me?
An ill-bred, untutored, unlicked cub, most probably!
I did not let myself off easily, I promise you. My conscience gave it
to me well, and I could find no satisfactory terms in which I could
express my opinion of my own surly behaviour.
I think if some people only knew the bitter pangs that social culprits
afterwards experience within themselves for their slips and slidings by
the way, they would be less harsh in their judgments and unsparing in
their condemnation than they usually are. Sending him to Coventry is a
poor punishment in comparison with the offender's own remorse. He finds
the "labor et opus redintegrare gradum" hard enough, without that
Rhadamanthus, "society," making the ascent slippery for him!
As I recalled the incidents of the evening, I could not help allowing to
my conscience that Mr Mawley the curate, whom I disliked, had shown
himself a gentleman, where I had only acted like a snob; while Horner, a
man whom I, in my conceit, had looked down upon and affected to despise
as an empty-headed fop and nonentity, was a prince beside me!
They had but played their respective social parts, and accepted the
gifts that the gods provided; while I--dunder-headed dolt that I was--
had conducted myself worse than a budding school-boy who had but just
donned swallow-tails, and made his first entry into society!
Jealousy had been the cause of it all, of course; but, although I have
always held, and will continue to believe, that the presence of that
"green-eyed monster," as the passion is euphuistically termed, is
inseparable from all cases of real, thorough, heart-felt, engrossing
love--still, jealousy is no excuse for ill-manners. "Noblesse oblige"
always. There is no half-way medium; no middle course to take.
Then, fancy my being such a brute as to quarrel with Min, merely because
she could not avoid being courteous to her guests! The fact of their
being personally obnoxious to me, did not affect the scale one way or
the other; she could not help _that_. I doubt whether she even knew it.
I was unable to forgive myself, and wondered if she would excuse my
conduct, and speak to me again; although, I really deserved social
extinction.
But, I surely could not belie her angel nature, I thought? When she
came to know all I had suffered that evening, and the miserable self-
upbraidings I had since endured, she would pity me, and forgive me,
forgetting all that had occurred "as a dream when one awaketh?" I was
sure she would; and I gained renewed courage from the impression.
I now bethought me how I should next present myself before her. In
accordance with the usages of conventionality, it would be right for me
to make an early call at Mrs Clyde's, in recognition of her late
assembly; and, unless I should chance to meet Min out alone, I would
have no chance of making my apology before then, while, even on that
occasion, the presence of her mother might prevent my speaking to her as
openly as I wished. What should I do?
I determined, under the circumstances, and from the fact of our being
such old friends--she had said so herself, had she not?--that I would
make her a little peace-offering, in the shape of a present of some sort
or other.
This did not occur to me with the idea of propitiating her as an
offended goddess, sacrifices being out of date in the existing era--
except those to Moloch! No, such a thought never occurred to me for a
moment.
Min was not the class of girl whose pardon or good-will could be
purchased, as is frequently the case, perhaps, with others of her sex!
What suggested the scheme to me was, my not having made her any birthday
gift, as her other friends, without exception, had done. It is "never
too late to mend;" so, why should I not take her a little present now,
to show her that she lived in my heart and had not been intentionally
forgotten? If she accepted my offering, good. I should then be certain
that she extenuated my gaucherie at her party, whether I got speech with
her or no. Yes, that would be the proper course for me to pursue.
Would you not have thought so in a like contingency?
The present being decided on, what should I get for her? Flowers,
photographs, books, music, and all those delicate nothings, which people
generally tender as souvenirs for other people's acceptance, she had in
abundance.
None of these would do at all. I wanted her to have some special, out-
of-the-way something from me, which would always call the giver before
her mind whenever she saw it. You may think my wish a selfish one,
perhaps, but we generally like to be remembered by those we love. I
think so, at least; and, I do not believe I am a very exceptional
individual.
What should my gift be? It would not be proper for me to offer, nor was
it likely that her mother would allow her to accept, anything very
valuable, or of intrinsic worth: such as a watch, which I first thought
of. Besides, she had a watch already--one that kept time, unlike most
ladies' "time-keepers"--and a particularly pretty one it was, too; so,
that was out of the question at once. Jewellery would be just as
inadmissible. What on earth should my present consist of?
Why, a bird, of course! How stupid I was growing, to be sure! I really
had become quite dull. A bird would be the very thing of all others to
suit her, so I need not worry my brains any longer. She had plenty of
flowers in her bay window conservatory, besides a tiny crystal fountain,
that leaped and sparkled to the astounding altitude of some eighteen
inches, and which, on festive occasions, ran Florida-water or Eau-de-
Cologne. In addition to these, she required, to my mind, a bird to
complete the effect of the whole. A bird she, accordingly, should have.
I had often heard her say that she loved birds dearly. Not wild
songsters, however, who sing best in their native freedom of the skies,
like the spotted-breasted, circle-carolling lark, the thicket-haunting
blackbird, and the sweet-throated thrush.--It would have afforded her no
pleasure to prison up one of these in a cage. But, a little fledgling
that had never known what it was to roam at its own sweet will, and who,
when offered the liberty of the air, would hardly care to "take
advantage of the situation;" _that_ would be the bird which she would
like to have, I was certain.
I knew just such an one. I had him, in fact. He was "Dicky Chips:"--
the funniest, quaintest, most intelligent, and most amusing little
bullfinch you ever clapped eyes on.
I resolved that Dicky Chips should be Min's property from henceforth.
Whenever she watched him going through his varied pantomimic role, and
heard his well-turned, whistling notes--he had a rare ear for music--she
would think of _him_ who gave him to her, although he might then be far
away. I decided the point at once before going to bed. Dicky Chips
should, like Caliban, have a new master, or rather mistress; and be a
new man, or rather bird, to adopt Mr Toots' peculiar ellipto-
synthetical style of speaking. Where do you think I got hold of him?
Do you know a travelling naturalist who goes about London during the
summer months--and all over the country, too, for that matter, as I've
met him north of Tweed, and down also at the Land's End, in Cornwall?
He has birds for sale, and he sells them only at that period.
Where he hides himself when winter, dark and drear, approaches, I'm sure
I cannot tell; but I've never seen him _then_ perambulating the streets.
He may possibly, at that season, join company with Jamrack--that
curiosity of the animal world; or, he may hibernate in the Seven Dials,
as most feather-fanciers do; or, he may retire to his private mansion in
Belgrave Square; or, again, he may, peradventure, go abroad "to increase
his store," in the fashion of Norval's father, the "frugal swain" who
fattened his flocks on the Grampian Hills--though, I prefer South Down
mutton, myself!
The bird-seller may do either and all of these things in the winter
months; but, I only know his summer habitude:--then he is always to be
observed going about the streets with birds for sale.
Do I mean the gentleman who wheels about a costermonger's table-cart,
whereon he makes a number of unfortunate canaries pull about tiny
carriages, with yokes, shaped like those of the Roman chariots, and fire
cannons, and appear as if they liked it; while a decrepit white mouse
runs up a cane flag-staff, supporting himself finally, and very
uncomfortably, on the top?
No; I do not mean anything of the sort. The person I refer to is quite
a different character.
He is generally to be seen driving in a large, full-bodied gipsy waggon,
or covered-in break, with open sides and a tarpaulin roof, in which he
has, carefully stowed away, tiers upon tiers of cages, that contain
almost every description of English and foreign birds; not excluding,
also, sundry small pet animals--monkeys, squirrels, and toy dogs, to
wit.
He invariably accommodates two horribly-ugly, black-faced pugs,
underneath the driving seat of his vehicle; and you may generally hear
his approach, when distant more than a mile, through the chirping, and
squeaking, and squalling, of his motley cargo.
Canaries are there by the hundred, packed up separately in those square
little wooden boxes, each fitted with a small, red, goblet-shaped
pitcher and seed-rack, in which they are imported from Germany; parrots,
macaws, cockatoos, and lories; larks, thrushes, blackbirds; starlings,
magpies, and such like--down to the common hedge-sparrow and poor little
Jenny wren.
There, now! I have pointed out the distinguishing characteristics of
the itinerant bird-fancier; and, should you never have seen him before,
you will be able at once to recognise him in case of your possibly
encountering him in the future.
Well, one day, meeting this gentleman "drumming around" our suburb, I
had the curiosity to stop and inspect his live freight. In doing so I
lighted upon Dicky Chips, as I subsequently christened him: a sturdy
little bullfinch, who looked somewhat out of place, and lonesome,
amongst his screaming companions from foreign lands. I purchased him
for a trifle, and have never since regretted the bargain, for, he was a
dear, bright little fellow; so tractable, too, and intelligent, that I
was able to educate him to a pitch of excellence, which, I believe, no
bullfinch in England ever reached, before or since.
When invited properly, he would dance a hornpipe, whistling his own
music in sharp staccato notes, as from a piccolo. He could likewise
"present arms" with a little straw musket which I had provided for him;
besides feigning to be dead, and allowing you to take him up by the
legs, his head hanging down, apparently lifeless, the while, without
stirring--although he would sometimes, if you kept him too long in this
position, open one of his beady black eyes, and seem to give you a sly
wink, as if to say, "A joke is a joke, certainly; but you may, perhaps,
carry it too far!" I could not enumerate half his accomplishments in
this line; and, as for whistling operatic tunes--the most difficult
ones, with unlimited roulades, were his especial choice--"Bai-ey Je-
ove!" as Horner would say, you should only have heard him.
As I allowed him to go in and out of his cage at pleasure, he roamed the
garden according to his own sweet will, whenever and wherever he
pleased, without reservation; and he, I may add, seldom abused the
privilege. Some time after I had given him to Min, he actually found
his way back one morning to our house again. I shall never forget the
circumstance: you should have witnessed his delight at seeing the old
place and his old friends again! He flirted, he danced, he rolled in
paroxysms of joy on the little table by the window, whereon he had been
accustomed to go through his performances:--he chirped, he whistled; in
fact, he behaved just like a mad bird.
But he did not desert his mistress, mind you. I think he even got
fonder of her than he had even been of me. Still, often after
discovering that he could thus vary the monotony of his existence by
paying a visit to his old domicile--which only lay a short distance from
his new quarters--he would come round; and, after spending an hour or
two with me, when he would conscientiously insist on going through the
entire round of his accomplishments without any invitation on my part,
as if to show that he yet retained his early instructions well in mind,
he would return to Min's house, and the no less warm affection that
awaited him there.
This was the little present that I intended for a birthday gift to my
darling: one that I valued beyond gold. The very next afternoon I
carried him round to her in my coat-pocket--he having a tiny cage that
just fitted into it comfortably "to a _t_."
Fortunately, I found Min alone in the drawing-room, when I was ushered
in. She was sitting on the sofa reading, and, although she rose up on
my entrance, she only bowed, looking distant, and somewhat embarrassed.
This did not look well for my chances of forgiveness, and for getting
her to accept Dicky Chips, did it?
I went up to her impulsively.
"Min!" I exclaimed, "can you, will you, excuse and forgive me for
acting so rudely last night? I cannot forgive myself; and I shall be
miserable till you pardon me!"
She looked down gravely a minute.
"What made you so naughty, sir?" she asked at length, looking up again
with a dancing light in the clear grey eyes, and a smile on her pretty
little mouth.
"I thought that you did not want me, Min; and I wished myself away, when
I saw you speaking to every one else that came, as if you did not care
to speak to me. I was very unhappy, and--"
"Oh, Frank!" she said; "unhappy!"
"Yes," I said, "I was never more so in my life. I believed you
preferred speaking to Mr Mawley and Horner, to talking to me, and I
thought it very unkind of you."
"Well, do not think so again, sir," she said, with such a pretty
affectation of sternness, and laughing one of her light, silvery laughs.
"And you did not wish me away?" I asked, anxiously.
"Of course not," she answered. "Why should I have done so? You would
not have been invited, sir, if your noble presence had not been wished
for, Master Frank."
"And you didn't care so much for Mawley after all?" I continued,
rendered bolder by her changed manner.
"You must not ask too many questions, sir!" she said. "This just shows
how very unreasonable you were! How could I have neglected everybody
else to speak to you, only, all the evening; what would they have
thought, sir? what would mamma have said? Besides, you were not very
entertaining, Master Frank; you were very cross, sir; you know you
were!"
"But you forgive me now, Min, don't you?" I implored.
"Yes," she said, "if you promise never to be cross with me again."
"What, cross with _you_?" I exclaimed.
"You were, though, last night," she said, with a little toss of her
well-shaped head.
I thought the time had now arrived for making my little peace-offering;
and yet, I felt as shy and nervous about it as did poor "Young John,"
the gaoler's son of the Marshalsea, when he went to call on Little
Dorrit's father in the grand Bond Street hotel, and drew his humble
present of a bundle of cigars from his coat-pocket.
"Min," I said, "you have heard me speak of a clever little bird I had--
Dicky Chips?"
"Oh, yes," she said. "You mean the nice little fellow you taught to do
so many funny things? Nothing has happened to him, I hope, Frank? I
should be so very sorry," she added, sympathisingly, "for I know you are
very fond of him."
"No," said I hesitatingly; "nothing has happened to him, exactly; that
is, Min, I have brought him over for you; and, unless you accept him, I
shall think you are still angry with me, and have not forgiven me."
I thereupon pulled the little chap, cage and all, out of my pocket, and
presented him to her.
"Oh, Frank!" she exclaimed, in her sweet, earnest accents, with a ring
of emotion in them. "He's such a little pet of yours; and you have had
him so long! I would not take him from you for the world!"
"Then," said I, just as earnestly, "you have not forgiven me. Oh, Min!
when you promised to do so!" And I took up my hat as if to go away.
We argued the point; but, the end of the matter was, that Dicky Chips
was made over to his new mistress, with all his goods, chattels, and
appurtenances. A happy bird he might consider himself henceforth, I
knew. He would be idolised--a very nice situation, indeed, for a
bullfinch!
By-and-by I got closer to Min, as we were standing up, talking together
and making Dicky go through a few of his tricks on the drawing-room
table.
"Min," said I, softly, bending over her and looking down into her
honest, truth-telling grey eyes--"my darling!"
But, at that precise moment, the door opened; and, in walked Mrs Clyde.
CHAPTER NINE.
BREAKERS AHEAD!
Oh, I see thee, old and formal, fitted to thy petty part,
With a little hoard of maxims preaching down a
daughter's heart.
"They were dangerous guides the feelings--she herself
was not exempt--
Truly she herself had suffer'd"--perish in thy
self-contempt!
Mrs Clyde's appearance coming so suddenly upon the scene, acted as an
application of the cold douche to all the loving ardour with which I was
addressing Min. It completely spoiled the tableau; checking my eager
impetuosity in a moment, and causing me to remain, tongue-tied, in a
state of almost hopeless embarrassment.
Picture the unexpected presentment of the statue of "The Commander"
before Don Giovanni, and his horror at hearing words proceed from marble
lips! You will, then, be able to form some faint idea of my feelings,
when my pleasant position was thus interrupted by Min's mother. I was
altogether "nonplussed," to use a vulgar but expressive word.
Had she not come in so opportunely--or inopportunely, as _you_ may
think--I don't know what I might not have said.
You see, I was close to my darling, bending down over her and looking
into her beautiful face. I was fathoming the depths of her soul-
lighted, lustrous grey eyes; and, contiguity is sometimes apt in such
circumstances, I am told, to hurry one into the rashness of desperation,
bringing matters to a crisis. However, Mrs Clyde's entrance stopped
all this. I was brought up all at once, "with a round turn," like a
horse in full gallop pulled back on his haunches; or, "all standing," as
a boat with her head to the wind--whichever simile you may best prefer.
A shower-bath is a very excellent thing in its way, when taken at the
proper time and under certain conditions; but those two requirements
must be carefully considered beforehand, for the human frame is a fabric
of very delicate organisation. Any violent change, or hasty
interference with the regular and legitimate working of its functions,
may throw the whole machine out of gear, just as the sudden quickening
of an engine's motions will, probably, cause it to break down or turn it
off the line; while, on the other hand, a wholesome tonic, or fillip,
judiciously administered when occasion seems to demand it, like our
shower-bath, may often better enable it to discharge its duties and go
all the more smoothly and easily--as a tiny touch of the oil-can will
affect the movements of man's mammoth mechanical contrivances, that are
so typical of himself.
There are some people, I am aware, who object to the institution in
toto, arguing that it hurts the system with its unexpected shock, doing
more harm than good. There are others who believe in nothing but
shocks, and similar methods of treatment out of the common run; and
these "go in" for shower-baths, "a discretion"--though, without
discretion, would, perhaps, be a truer description. You may not be
informed, also, that the "institution" is frequently used in lunatic
asylums and penal establishments as an instrument of torture and
correction, being known to operate most efficaciously on obstreperous
and hardened criminals, when all other means of coercion have failed.
As it is with the shower-bath physically considered, so it is in regard
to the moral douche, to bring my apparent digression to a pointed
application. Properly taken, it nerves up the cerebral tissues;
experienced unawares, at right angles to previous paths of thought and
preparation, it reduces the patient to a temporary state of mental coma
and bewilderment--as exemplified in my case on the present unhappy
occasion.
I never felt so completely "flabbergasted," as sailors say, in my life,
as when Min's mother came into the room that afternoon, just at the
moment when I was meditating a master-stroke against the fortress of my
darling's heart.
I trembled in my boots.
I wished the earth to open and swallow me up!
Mrs Clyde was a thorough woman of the world. Judging her out of her
own circle of limited diameter, you would imagine her to be cool,
unimpassioned, cold-blooded, narrow-minded; but, she could be, at the
same time, bigoted enough in regard to all that concerned herself, her
social surroundings and her belongings--an advocate, as warm as
Demosthenes, as logical as Cicero:--a partisan amongst partisans. Warm
and impulsive, where fervour and a display of seemingly-generous
enthusiasm would effect the object she had in view, that of compassing
her ends, she could also be as frigid as an icicle, when it likewise so
suited her purpose. "Respectability" and "position" were her gods:--the
"world"--_her_ world!--her microcosm.
Where persons and things agreed with these, being sympathetic to their
rules and regulations, they naturally belonged to "the house beautiful"
of her creed, for they _must_ be good:--where they ran counter to such
standards of merit, which were upheld by laws as unvarying and
unchangeable as those of the Medes and Persians, and administered by a
judge as stern as Draco--they were, they _must_ be evil; and were,
therefore, cast out into the outer darkness that existed beyond her
sacred Lares and Penates.
Good Heavens! how can pigmy people, atoms in the vast eternity of time,
thus narrow the great universe in which they are permitted to exist;
dwarfing it down, to the limit of their jaundiced vision, by the
application of their miserable measuring tape of "fashionable" feet and
"class" inches! How can they abase grand humanity to the level of their
social organon, affecting to control it with their arbitrary
absolutisms, their mammon deification, their mimic infallibility! What
creeping, crawling, wretched insects we all are, taken collectively;
and, of all of us, the blindest, the most insignificant, and most grub-
like, are, so-called men and women "of the world!"
Cold, heartless, in a general sense, and worldly as Mrs Clyde was, I
could easily have excused it in her and tried to like her, for, was she
not the mother of my darling, whom with all her faults she loved very
dearly--her affection being judiciously tempered by those considerations
paramount in the clique to which she belonged? But, Mrs Clyde did not
like _me_. She spurned every effort I essayed to make her my friend.
I saw this the first evening I passed in her house; and the impression I
then received never wore off.
Just as you can tell at sight whether certain persons attract or repel
you, through some unknown, nameless influence that you are unable to
fathom; so, in like degree, can you decide--that is, if you possess a
naturally sensitive mind--whether they are drawn towards yourself or
remain antipathetical. I know that _I_ can tell without asking them, if
people whom I see for the first time are likely to fancy me or not; and,
at all events, I had some inward monition which warned me that Mrs
Clyde, contrary to my earnest wish that she should regard me in a
friendly light, was not one of those amiable beings who would "cotton to
me," as the inhabitants of New England express the sentiment in their
pointed vernacular.
Perhaps you think me a very egotistical person, thus to dwell upon my
own ideas and feelings?
You must recollect, however, that I'm telling you this story myself, a
story in which I am both actively and intimately interested; and how,
unless I speak of my own self, are you going to learn anything about me?
I have nobody to describe me, so I _must_ be what you call
"egotistical."
Yes, Mrs Clyde did not like me.
I do not mean to say, remember, that she was impolite, or grim, or
wanting in courtesy.
The reverse was the case, as she was one of the smoothest, suavest
persons you ever met.
But, there is an exquisitely refined way in which a woman of the world
can make you understand that your presence is "de trop" and your society
distasteful, without saying a single word that might be construed into
an offence against good breeding.
Mrs Clyde was a thorough mistress of this art.
Her searching eye could appraise at a glance a man's mental calibre or a
lady's toilette. It seemed to pierce you through and through, exploring
your inmost thoughts, and enlightening her as to what her course of
procedure should be in regard to you, before she had spoken a word, or
you either.
So _I_ believed at any rate; for, to tell the honest truth, I was
horribly afraid of Min's mother. I always felt on tenter hooks in her
presence, from the very first date of our acquaintanceship.
On coming into the room where Min and I were regarding Dicky Chip's
performances with loving eyes, and I completely "translated" by various
combinating influences, Mrs Clyde appeared to take in the situation in
an instant--"an eyewink," as a minute portion of time is happily
rendered in the Teutonic tongue. Certainly, she grasped everything at a
glance--even the contingency that might have possibly occurred, for, my
embarrassment was not lost upon her. I saw an anxious expression hover
across her face for a second, to be quickly replaced by her ordinary
society look of calm, studied suavity.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, in well-feigned astonishment at my presence--"Mr
Lorton, how d'ye do!"
"How do you do, Mrs Clyde?" said I, straightening myself up, and then
bending in feeble attempt at a bow.
She said nothing further for the moment, thinking it best to leave the
burden of the conversation on me, so as to better promote my ease of
manner and general welfare, in a "company" light. She was dexterous in
fence, was Mrs Clyde.
"Ah!" said I at length after an uncomfortable pause, "that was a
delightful evening we had last night!" It was a polite falsehood; but
then, one must say something when in "society" be it never so senseless
and silly!
"I am glad you enjoyed yourself," she answered, although she knew well
enough that I had done no such thing.
"Oh, mamma!" said Min, coming to the rescue, "see what a dear little
bird Mr Lorton has brought me! It is really so clever that it can
almost do anything. Dicky, dicky, cheep!" she chirped to my young
representative, who sat in the centre of the table, perched on a
photographic album and with his head cocked on one side. He was staring
very inquisitively at Mrs Clyde. He evidently regarded her as an
enemy; for, the feathers on his crest got ruffled.
"Indeed!" said her mother, in freezing accents--down to the temperature
of the best Wenham Lake ice!--"I'm sure Mr Lorton is very good! Still,
you know, Minnie," she continued, "that I do not like you receiving
presents in this way."
"But it is only a little bird, Mrs Clyde!" I said, at last nerved up
to the speaking-point. I thought she would have told me then and there
to take it back; and I awaited, in fear and trembling, what she would
say next.
"And he's such a little darling, mamma!" interposed Min impulsively.
Mrs Clyde could not help smiling.
"That may be quite true, my dear," she said; "but, as you know, and as
Mr Lorton is probably also aware--although he is very young to have as
yet mixed much in the world"--_cut number two_!--"it is not quite
correct for young ladies to receive presents, however trifling, from
gentlemen who are, comparatively, strangers to them, and to whom they
have been but barely introduced!"--_cut three_!
"Oh, mamma!" said Min, in an agony of maidenly shame. She coloured up
to the eyes--at the dread of having done something she ought not to have
done.
Her exclamation armed me to the teeth. I would have stood up in defence
of my darling against a hundred mammas, all cased in society's best
satire-proof steel. I determined to "carry the war into Egypt," and
opened fire accordingly.
"Pardon me, Mrs Clyde," said I, quite as frigidly as herself--"but the
fault, if error there be on either side, lies on my shoulders. I am
sure I meant no harm. I only brought the little bird as a remembrance
of your daughter's birthday, having forgotten to present it yesterday,
when her other friends made _their_ offerings."
My speech, however, produced no impression; she quickly parried my weak
thrust, returning me tierce en carte.
"But they were all _old_ friends, Mr Lorton:--_that_ made it quite a
different thing," she said, very coldly, although with the sweetest
expression. I daresay Jael smiled very pleasantly when she drove that
nail into Sisera's temple!
I thought I perceived a slight loophole for attack. "I believe," said
I, "that both Mr Horner and Mr Mawley were only introduced to Miss
Clyde a short time previously to myself."
Bless you, I was a child in her practised hands! Fancy my making such a
blunder as to show her where the shoe pinched me!
"I think, Mr Lorton," she replied, "that _I_ am the best judge as to
whom I consider my daughter's friends. Mr Mawley is a clergyman of the
parish, and Mr Horner the nephew of a gentleman whom I have known for
years!"--Ah! she _did_ know about Horner's expectations, then; I thought
she did!--"But," she continued, in a slightly less frigid tone, probably
on account of seeing Min's agitation, and from the belief that she had
put me down sufficiently--"But, Mr Lorton, I do not wish to appear
unkind; and, as you never thought of all this, most likely, my daughter
may keep the bird you kindly brought her, if she likes."
"Oh, thank you, mamma," said Min, caressing Dicky Chips, who thereupon
burst into a paean of melody, in which the opening bars of the "Silver
Trumpets" march and "Green grow the Rushes, O" were mixed up
harmoniously, in splendid confusion. Knowing little bullfinch that he
was! He succeeded, as peradventure he intended, in at once turning the
conversation into a fresh channel, where Min's constraint and my
embarrassment were soon dispelled.
Mrs Clyde had not been a bit put out during the entire interview.
She was now, as she had been all along, as cool and collected, as suave
and serene, as possible. In this respect she somewhat resembled Horner,
her promising young friend--nothing could put her out--although _her_
mental equilibrium resulted from habit and training; while Horner's, in
my opinion, was entirely owing to his natural apathy and inherent
dulness of disposition.
Shortly after hostilities had terminated between us, and a truce
declared, Mrs Clyde said that she hoped that I would kindly excuse
herself and Min, as they had to prepare to go out to make several calls.
Thus politely dismissed, I accordingly took my leave. But, not before
the astute lady of the world had contrived to impress me with the
consideration that Mrs Clyde moved in a very different circle to that
of Mr Lorton; and, that, if I had the assurance and audacity to aspire
to the hand of "her daughter," I need not nurse the sweet belief that
_she_ would lend a favourable ear to my suit. I must, in that case, be
prepared to wage a war a outrance, in which there would be no quarter
allowed, on _one_ side at least.
You must not think that I make these remarks with any bitter feelings
now in my heart towards Min's mother. I only desire to tell my story
truthfully; and, I may say at once that she failed in our after struggle
together. I really believe that she meant honestly to do the best she
could for her daughter, as "the best" was held by the articles of her
social creed; and that she manoeuvred so that her "lines" should "fall
in pleasant places." Yet, those good thoughts, and best wishes, and
wise plans of worldly people, effect incalculable mischief and misery
and unhappiness in life.
Many a sorely-tried heart has been broken by their influence--many a man
and woman ruined for life and for eternity, through their means! And,
although I mean no harm towards Mrs Clyde now, as I have already
stated, however much I may have been opposed to her once--for the battle
has been fought lang syne, and the game played out to its end--still, I
can never forget that she _was_ my enemy!
CHAPTER TEN.
"A FOOL'S PARADISE."
Gather ye rose-buds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And the same flower that blooms to-day,
To-morrow may be dying!
Rost nubila Phoebus; "after clouds, comes sunshine."
I did not allow the coldness of Min's mother to dwell long in my mind.
What, if Mrs Clyde did not appear to like me? Could I alter the
obliquity of her mental vision by brooding over it, and worrying myself
into a fit of misanthropy? Would it not be better for me to allow
matters to run their appointed course, in accordance with the inexorable
law of events, and not to anticipate those evils with which the future
might be pregnant? The followers of Mahomet are wise men in their
generation. They take everything that happens to them with the
philosophy of their faith. Kismet! It is their fate, may Allah be
praised! they say.
I was perfectly satisfied to accommodate myself to circumstances; and
gathered flowers, according to wise old Herrick's advice, to my heart's
content. I did not seek to inquire about the future:--why should I?
Time flew by on golden pinions, and I was as happy as the day was long.
Winter made way for spring, spring gave place to summer. The halcyon
hours sped brighter and brighter for me, from the time of violets--when
nature's sweetest nurslings modestly blossomed beneath the hedge-rows.
Then came "the month of roses," as the Persians appropriately style that
duodecimal portion of the year. It was a happier time still; for, I
loved Min, and I thought that Min loved me.
The very seasons seemed to draw me nearer to her.
In the spring the violets' scented breath recalled her whenever I
inhaled their fragrance; while, the nightingale's amorous trills--we had
nightingales to visit us in our suburb, closely situated as it was to
London--appeared to me to embody the impassioned words that Tennyson
puts in the mouth of his love-wooing sea maiden--
"We will kiss sweet kisses, and speak sweet words;
O listen, listen, your eyes shall glisten,
With pleasure and love and jubilee!"
And, in the early summer, when smiling June came in with her flowery
train, making a garden of the whole earth, the twining roses, of crimson
and white and red, were all emblematic of my darling. They were love-
gages of her own sweet self; for, was she not my rose, my violet, that
budded and blossomed in purple and pink alone for me--the idol of my
heart, my fancy's queen?
With all these fond imaginings, however, I did not see much of her.
I had very few opportunities for unfettered intercourse. I believe I
could number on the fingers of one hand all the special little tete-a-
tete conversations that Min and I ever had together. This was not owing
to any fault of mine, you may be sure; but was, entirely, the result of
"circumstances," over which neither of us had "any control."
"Society" was the cause of it all. Had her mother been never so
willing, and the fates never so kindly lent their most propitious aid to
my suit, it is quite probable that we might not have had the chance of
associating much more together than we did; nor would our interviews
have happened oftener, I think.
You see people of the upper and middle-classes have far less facility
afforded them, than is common in lower social grades, for intimate
acquaintance; and really know very little, in the long run, of those of
whom they may become enamoured and subsequently marry, prior to the
tying of the nuptial noose.
Laura and Augustus, may, it is true, meet each other out frequently, in
the houses of their mutual friends at parties, and at various gatherings
of one sort and another; but what means have they of learning anything
trustworthy respecting the inner self of their respective enchanter or
enchantress?
Do you think they can manage thus to summarise their several points and
merits, during the pauses of the Trois Temps, or while nailing "a rover"
at croquet, or, mayhap, when promenading at the Botanical?
I doubt it much.
Professor Owen, it is said, will, if you submit to his notice a couple
of inches of the bone of any bird, beast, fish, or reptile, at once
describe to you the characteristics of the animal to which it belonged;
its habits, and everything connected with it; besides telling you when
and where it lived and died, and whether it existed at the pre-Adamite
period or not--and that, too, without your giving him the least previous
information touching the osseous substance about which you asked his
opinion.
But, granting that the most gigantic theory might be built up on some
slighter practical evidence, I would defy anyone--even that
philosophising German who evolved a camel from the depths of his inner
moral consciousness--to determine the capabilities of any young lady for
the future onerous duties of wife and mother, and mistress of a
household, merely from hearing her say what coloured ice she would have
after the heated dance; or, from her statements that the evening was
"flat" or "nice," the season "dull" or "busy," and the heroine of the
last new novel "delightful," while the villain was correspondingly
"odious."
He couldn't do it.
The commonplace conversation of every-day society is no criterion for
character.
With Jemima, the maid-of-all-work, and Bob, the baker's assistant, her
"young man," it is quite a different thing. They have no trammels
placed in the way of their free association; and, I would venture to
assert, know more of one another in one month of company-keeping than
Augustus and Laura will achieve in the course of any number of seasons
of fashionable intercourse. A "Sunday out" beats a croquet party
hollow, in its opportunities for intimacy--as may readily be believed.
It is, really, curious this ignorance common in middle-class husbands
and wives, sons-in-law and daughters-in-law, respecting their several
attributes and characteristics before they became connected by marriage,
and time makes them better acquainted--very curious, indeed!
An American essayist, writing on this point, says--"When your mother
came and told her mother that she was _engaged_, and your grandmother
told your grandfather, how much did they know of the intimate nature of
the young gentleman to whom she had pledged her existence? I will not
be so hard as to ask how much your respected mamma knew at that time of
the intimate nature of your respected papa, though, if we should compare
a young girl's _man-as-she-thinks-him_ with a forty-summered matron's
_man-as-she-finds-him_, I have my doubts as to whether the second would
be a fac-simile of the first." And yet, young men and women of
respectable standing "over the way," are allowed far greater latitude
for intercommunication than our own; so much so, that I must say, I
would not like our budding misses to go the lengths of the American
girl, who receives her own company when she pleases, without any
previous permission, and can go abroad to places of public amusement,
or, indeed, anywhere she likes, without a chaperon.
Still, there is a medium in all things; and, without verging to the
extreme of our Transatlantic cousins, our conventionalities might be so
tempered by the introduction of a little genuine human nature, as to
admit of a trifling freer intercourse between our youth and young
maidenhood of the upper classes.
Goethe, you may remember, makes Werther, whose "sorrows" fascinated a
generation in the days of our great grandmothers, fall in love with
Charlotte, entirely through seeing
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